Beyond the Pale

“Everyone in town thinks we’re going at it,” Joey said angrily, “so we might as well. Let’s go.”

Pacey opened his mouth and immediately closed it again. He couldn’t think of a thing to say.

Joey pulled her shirt over her head, and Pacey watched as she tossed it to the floor. She lay back on the bed, holding one hand out to him. Her eyes were still swollen and red from her tears, but she smiled at him. “So what are you waiting for?”

She was so beautiful, Pacey thought, even upset and crying. It was all he could do not to lie down with her, finish undressing her, be inside her like he’d fantasized about over and over again. He sat down on the edge of the bed. “You don’t really want to do this, Joey,” he said soothingly.

“The hell I don’t,” Joey said. She half-laughed, half-sobbed. “Bessie already thinks we screwed, now all of Capeside’s going to think we did. We can’t let all those people be wrong!”

“That’s not a good enough reason,” Pacey said. He leaned back on one elbow and rubbed her bare arm. She sniffled.

“I don’t want our first time to be like this,” he said. “I want it to be because you love me and want me, not because you’re pissed off and trying to prove something.”

Joey turned her head, looking up at the ceiling. Her lip trembled.

“You know you’d be sorry for it later,” Pacey told her. He shrugged. “And as much as I might want to say to hell with all those reasons…I don’t have a condom, anyway.”

Joey lay quietly for a few minutes, and Pacey stared at her, concerned. Finally she said, “Pacey, could you just go home? I want to be by myself for a while.”

“Joey…” he began.

“Please,” she said. There was no inflection in her voice, and her eyes were shadowed. Pacey couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I’ll call you later.”

Pacey wasn’t happy about it, but he went. It was beginning to get dark as he walked out of the house, pulling the door closed behind him. Friday night and I’m alone, he thought dismally. Yippee.

*******

The weekend seemed endless. On Sunday afternoon, Pacey was sitting listlessly behind the counter at the video store, his chin propped on one hand. He was depressed. He’d talked to Joey on the phone several times over the past couple of days, and she hadn’t shown any signs of snapping out of the low mood she was in.

“You just don’t understand,” she’d told him. “Everyone finally stopped talking about my dad and my sister by the end of sophomore year. It was old news. And now they have more ammunition, from Abby Morgan of all people!”

He’d tried to tell her that it didn’t matter. Why should she care what Abby and the other gossip-mongers of Capeside thought? But Joey wasn’t convinced. She was more sensitive than most people to being talked about, since she’d taken so much flack about her family situation. She’d told him that Bessie was making her watch Alex for the entire weekend. Pacey wasn’t so sure he believed her, but he’d let it go.

Pacey shifted in his chair, bored. He couldn’t find a movie to watch that fit his mood, so the television next to him was tuned to static snow, volume off. Appropriate. He glanced around at the store’s few browsers, and was surprised to see his ex-girlfriend, Tatiana. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her in here before.

Within a few minutes she came to the counter with three tapes in hand. “Hi, Tash,” he said. He was no longer angry with her; she was indirectly responsible for him ending up with Joey.

“Pacey,” she said warmly. “How’ve you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said. “How ‘bout you?”

Tatiana smoothed her blonde hair. “Not so good,” she said. She tried to smile. “Grant and I broke up.”

“Sorry,” Pacey said. From her expression, he gathered that the break-up had been Grant’s idea. “So you’re gonna drown your sorrows in sad videos, huh?” He looked at her selections. “Titanic. Ghost. Bridges of Madison County. You’d better lay in some Kleenex.”

Business was slow, and Pacey and Tatia talked for quite a while. Neither of them noticed Abby Morgan walk in to return the video she’d rented on Friday. She placed it in the return bin and backed away discreetly, lurking in the Comedy section as she observed Pacey and his ex. She hadn’t expected to get two rumor-spreading opportunities in one weekend. It was quite amazing.

Abby would not have admitted it even under torture, but she’d always secretly had the hots for Pacey Witter, slacker that he was. He had a fine bod, sexy eyes and that disarming sense of humor. She actually envied Joey for being the one he was nailing these days. If he was as good as he looked, then Joey Potter was quite the lucky girl.

Well, Abby mused, she might never have a chance with him, but she could certainly take her best shot at screwing up his relationship. For this moment in time, that would be consolation enough. Abby left the video store, smiling to herself, planning her strategy as she walked.

*******

On Monday, Dawson plodded into his study period. He was already tired, and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. He looked around for Tori, spotting her at the same table where they’d sat on Thursday. He joined her, placing his books on the table and sliding into the chair next to hers. “Hey,” he said.

“Hi, Dawson,” Tori said brightly. She took a closer look at him. “Is something wrong? You don’t look too happy.”

“I’m just disgusted,” he said. The study monitor entered the library, and Dawson lowered his voice. “All I’ve heard today has been one variation or another of Abby’s rumors. Joey isn’t taking it very well.” He sighed. “Pacey said she’s been hiding at home all weekend. Jo’s sister had to make her come to school today.”

Tori felt for the girl. She’d been through it herself, and she knew how much it hurt. Becoming the target of gossip had been just the beginning of the worst school year she’d ever had. Ultimately, she’d had so many problems that her family had moved the previous summer, conveniently placing Tori in a different school district. “Is she going to be all right?” Tori asked.

“I’m not sure,” Dawson said. “She’s really down.”

Tori half-heartedly opened her notebook, knowing that she needed to study for the final exams that were coming up in less than three weeks. Instead, she found herself furtively watching Dawson, who had opened his English book and was staring blankly at the text, not reading anything. The more time she spent with him, the more she liked him.

Tori had the feeling that he wouldn’t be like the other guys she’d dated. She sighed. That was another problem. She’d been stupid to start dating at fourteen. Her parents had been insane to let her. She’d made her way through most of the freaks and losers at Jackson High by the time her freshman year was over. She wondered what Dawson would think about her if he knew.

“Hey.” Dawson’s hand closed over hers, gently lifting it from her notebook. “You’re going to break that pencil,” he whispered. Tori hadn’t realized how hard she was pressing the lead into the paper. His touch was warm, and it made her skin tingle. Tori drew in her breath, looking into his eyes.

Dawson gazed back at her, smiling slightly. It was at least a minute before he removed his hand. Tori was surprised by how exciting a simple touch could be...if it came from the right person.

*******

Joey’s skin felt bruised from the stares she’d been getting in the halls and classrooms all morning, and her ears were burning. Apparently, Abby’s smear campaign had succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. Joey and Pacey were at the top of everyone’s hot list for discussion.

It was lunchtime, and she was supposed to be meeting Pacey and Dawson, but her stomach felt so shaky that Joey ducked into the girls’ bathroom just outside the cafeteria. She pushed past the girls lining the mirror and locked herself into a stall. Leaning against the wall, she breathed in through her mouth, trying to calm down. Damn Abby Morgan anyway!

Joey listened as the bell rang and the bathroom cleared out. She stood immobile, not wanting to face the crowd in the cafeteria, the poison darts of unfriendly eyes, the rumors flying. Joey closed her eyes, fighting sudden tears. She’d always been the one who claimed not to care what anyone thought of her, but she knew deep inside that it wasn’t true. It hurt her to be the subject of snide innuendos from people who didn’t even know her.

The door creaked open, and a female voice said, “Joey? Are you in here?”

Joey stiffened. She didn’t recognize the voice.

Footsteps. “Joey? It’s Tori.” Tori. The girl who’d asked her last week if Dawson was dating anyone. The girl who’d been with him when he’d come to her house to tell her about Abby’s rumor mill. “Pacey sent me to find you. He’s worried about you.” A pause. “Are you all right?”

Joey unlatched the stall door and came out. The petite girl stood waiting for her, concern in her eyes. “You’d better watch out,” Joey said bitterly. Her lip trembled. “If you’re seen with me, people will start talking about you, too.”

Tori shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Joey pulled a paper towel from the dispenser and wet it, wringing it out and holding it to her puffy eyes. She hated herself for letting Abby, the gorgon of Capeside High, upset her this much.

“Why don’t you come to the lunchroom with me?” Tori suggested. “Pacey’s really upset. I think he just wants to see you, make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m not okay,” Joey said, still holding the paper towel over her eyes.

“Don’t you see, that’s what they want,” Tori said earnestly. “They want to see you broken. Don’t let them.”

Joey uncovered her eyes and looked at Tori. “You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” she said.

“I do,” Tori said. Her blue eyes were somber. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime, if you want.”

Joey shrugged.

“C’mon,” Tori commanded. She circled Joey. “Your eyes look okay. Tuck your shirt in, and let’s go.”

The younger girl’s take-charge attitude soothed Joey. She put her mind on autopilot and followed Tori’s instructions. She tucked her shirt in and the two girls walked out of the bathroom. From there, it was only a few feet to the table where Pacey and Dawson sat waiting. Joey slid into her chair, and only then did she look at her boyfriend.

The tender expression Pacey wore almost made her cry again. “Are you all right?” he whispered. Under the table, he curled his fingers around hers.

“I’m better now,” Joey said.

Hoping to distract the two of them, Dawson and Tori began talking about the upcoming School’s Out party, a concept that they both thought was the ultimate in stupidity. “When school’s out,” Dawson said, “why would we want to come up here to go to a party in the gym?”

“Exactly!” Tori said. “Especially on a Saturday when the weather’s warm and anyone with half a brain is at the beach.” She sighed. “I can’t wait to get to the beach...they should have the party there.”

Dawson looked thoughtful. “Or we could have our own party that day. The four of us, the beach, food, suntan oil...”

“Bikinis,” Pacey said, taking a sudden interest in the conversation.

Joey raised an eyebrow at him. “If you show up in a bikini, we’re over!”

“Well, I did have a darling little thong I’ve been dying to try out,” Pacey said in a high, mincing voice. Dawson and Tori smiled at each other. Mission accomplished.

After lunch, the four of them went their separate ways; Pacey to gym, Dawson to English, Tori to Geometry, and Joey to her locker to grab her science book. Joey’s locker had become a bit unorganized lately, and she grabbed unsuccessfully at the papers that fell out when she opened the door. Joey bent down to retrieve them, and when she straightened back up, Stacey Mathis, a junior cheerleader she knew slightly, was standing beside her. Just out of Joey’s line of sight, behind a classroom door, stood Abby Morgan.

“Joey,” Stacey said, her tone dripping with syrupy sweetness.

“Hi, Stacey,” Joey said, slightly confused. She talked to the girl once in a blue moon; they had been lab partners during their sophomore year.

“I’m sorry to hear about you and Pacey,” Stacey said. “Aren’t guys awful?”

Joey frowned. “What are you talking about?”

From her hiding place, Abby covered her mouth with one hand to stifle a laugh. It had taken her best persuasive efforts to get Stacey to do her bidding, but she’d finally succeeded. She’d coached the cheerleader carefully on what to say.

“Oh, no.” Stacey looked appalled. “You don’t know, do you? I heard that Pacey spent Sunday afternoon with his ex-girlfriend, and I just thought they got back together.” Stacey smirked. “I thought maybe you’d been pumped and dumped. It happens. Most guys are shits.”

Pacey and Tatiana? He’d called her Sunday night, and he hadn’t mentioned seeing Tatia. Joey’s heart sank to the pit of her stomach. She was so upset and confused, she didn’t know what to believe. Joey closed her locker door, forgetting to take out the book she’d come to get. She started down the hall without another word to Stacey.

Abby came out of hiding and stood beside Stacey, and they watched as Joey disappeared from sight. “Perfect,” she said, a mean glint in her eyes. “I couldn’t have done it better myself.”

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