"King me!" Debbie looked up  triumphantly at Sam seated acrossfrom her. He had let her beat him again in checkers. Poor kid. Miss Parkerhad left him with instructions to guard her but not answer any of her questions.He was surprised when she picked the child up from school. They were undera schedule seven at the Centre and he knew  Broots was  out thereon his own.

Too bad, Sam thought as he shook his head, the computer geek probablydidn't have enough smarts to survive. He was weak. Even Miss Parker tookadvantage of his weakness, belittling  him at every opportunity, yetthe guy remained loyal to her. Everyone at the Centre laughed at him behindhis back while Sam... well he just felt sorry for him.

Suddenly he jumped to his feet as the door opened and Broots rushedin. "Daddy!" Debbie jumped into her father's arms as Miss Parker quietlyslipped inside to stand by the door. Sam smiled at the touching scene asfather and daughter hugged each other. When Broots' mouthed the words 'thankyou' to Miss Parker, the look on her face ... it was filled with disgust.Shame that a woman so beautiful could be so cold. Still he had been surprisedby the way she had protected the kid, maybe the witch had a heart afterall...

"Sam...let's go.  There's a couple of things I need to wrap upat the Centre." Miss Parker interrupted his thoughts.

Sam smiled at Debbie and winked.  "Nice game kid."

* * *

Slowly my hand pushes the bedroom door open and the light from the hallfalls on her peaceful slumbering form. I tiptoe quietly across to the bedand bend down to kiss her forehead when her eyes open "Hey sweetie, I thoughtyou were asleep." I tell her in surprise.

"Mommy, that man who tried to kill Daddy...is he really dead?" The fearin her eyes belies the calmness of her voice. She's learning to hide herfeelings and it tears me apart to see my child lose her innocence.

"Yes honey, he's dead. He can't hurt anyone anymore. Were you afraid?"Her head nods 'yes'. "I would never let anyone hurt you." I answer in areassuring voice while my hand brushes the hair from her face.

"I wasn't scared for me... I was scared for Daddy." She tries so hardto be brave.

"Me too, kiddo. Now it's past your bedtime and you have dance classtomorrow after school. Get some sleep, we'll talk about this later, OK?"Now it's my turn to act brave. She snuggles beneath the covers and as Iturn to leave asks another question.

"Will you be here when I wake up in the morning?" She should know theanswer by now, I'll be gone before she wakes. "Can't you go to France withDaddy and me? Pleeeaaase?" Her voice pleads . Another question that sheknows the answer to and my heart  aches.

"Not this time." Disappointment shows on her face. "Sweet dreams, baby."I'm by the door and take one last look . She lays there watching my everymove and it is almost un-nerving. She has grown so fast and as much asI want to go with them, I can't. Pressing my fingers to my lips, I senda goodnight kiss before closing the door and turning off the light.

At the end of the hall is another light and my feet move swiftly towards it. I can barely suppress my laugh  upon entering the room and seeinghim sitting on the bed dressed in pajamas with a silly cowboy  print.The two of us could not be more different. He in flannel and I in silk.

Turning his attention from the TV he looks up at me. "Debbie awake?I thought I heard voices." A quick  nod of my head confirms his suspicions."Can't say I blame her, it's been a rough couple of days. Boy, I thoughtI'd neversee the two of you again. Thought Jarod would never pull thattrigger." His face is still pale and tired from the ordeal.

"You know how Jarod is. He always have to think things through." Myneck hurts from the tension and massaging it with both hands does littleto ease it.

He motions towards the bed. "Neck tight? Well, come here then." Movingto the bed I lay down and rest my forehead upon my folded arms. His handsbegin to massage and knead the muscles of my neck and the tension slowlybegins to release. "This whole thing at the Centre, I gotta tell you ,it's beginning to get to me. How much longer do we have to do this?" Hiswords echo my feelings but nothing will change my course of action.

"You know it depends on Jarod. Until he can make it on his own and cutthe umbilical cord that ties him to Sydney and the Centre, we have to keepup the charade.  The Centre took away his life, someone needs to giveit back. And I...I owe it to Mama to finish what she started." The musclesin my neck relax even more as a soft sigh escapes my lips. "Remember howlong it took me to get him to escape? Even when I had someone take himby the hand and lead him out, he always returned like a homing pigeon.In a way I'm thankful Raines brought in Damon."

My thoughts turn to Jarod the Centre's wonderboy, my first love andyes, my friend. He is a genius, he can solve the most complicated puzzleand the Centre molded him to fit their needs. They trained him to be detached,to think on a different level and in the process stripped him of his abilityto use common sense. The sight of him still causes me to suck in my breathand while there is a special place in my heart for ...

"Hey you're not thinking about him are you? I mean it ... it reallyis over between you two...isn't it?" His hands grip my neck a little tighterand there is a distinct hint of doubt rising in his voice. Rolling overonto my back to look up at his face, I can see the fear he has of losingme.

"Of course it's over. There never was much between us to begin with." My smile is sad as I speak the truth. And the truth it is .... not forthe lack of trying ... God knows I tried! But I always seemed to be moreof an annoyance, like a younger sister bothering an older brother. Andthe funny look on his face when he told me that I was in the Red Files.Was it relief knowing he wasn't related to the monster he believes me tobe? Or satisfaction that he had outsmarted a worthy opponent?

"Jarod's just a childhood friend. I gave him his first kiss... nothingmore and he's still trying to analyze that." I wink. "I married you, remember?"Sittingup, my finger tips reach out to playfully tease his head where it is leftbare from his receding hairline. He pulls away annoyed. "What's wrong?You know what they say about  ..."

He interrupts. "I know what they say but it bothers me anyways." He'sdistressed, embarrassed and it's  time to change the subject.

"Nice job on decoding those numbers. Sorry it took so long to get themto you but Sydney can be like Jarod sometimes. I put them right under hisnose and he just ignored them. I even thought about handing them to himpersonally." I sit on the bed and hug my knees to my chest.

"Have you figured out who was giving Damon the information?" He askswith brow furrowed, the conversation has taken a serious turn.

"It had to be either Daddy or Raines ... or it could be both. I never trusted either one." My answer is less than he expects. He shifts his positionon the edge of the bed, reaches over to massage the calves of my legs andmy eyes close as his fingers work their magic.

"What about Lyle? He can't be trusted either." Working with Lyle makeshim uncomfortable and he heads the list of suspects as usual.

"Lyle?" I can't help but laugh. "The Ken doll? My brother's like Jarod.They both have high IQ's but when it come to common sense ..."  Shakingmy head in amazement. "forget it! Neither can find their way out of a paperbag! Remember when he tried to deal with the Yukaza and everything I didto protect and keep him safe? He's so arrogant. He's lucky all he lostwas a thumb. You have to wonder how two guys who are so smart can be sostupid. I'm always shocked that neither one can pump gas." My eyes opento find the look on his face has lightened and we both chuckle rememberingJarod's 'pretend' as a gas station jockey.

"Yeah, well you didn't think it was so funny when he blew up that BeverlyHills service station and you had to pay for it. I still can't get overthe fact that Lyle and the Centre bought our cover up. Really, you wouldthink a fifteen million dollar withdrawl made out to bogus charities wouldhave gotten someone's attention."

"We can thank Brigitte for that. By the way she's asked for a raise.Seems the stress of watching Lyle is getting to her." Thoughts of Brigitterunning after Lyle flash through both our minds.

"Well she's definitely worth it! She's the best babysitter we've hadfor your brother yet." His mischievous smile spreads across his face. "Andas for Syd... well you'd think  Syd would have caught on to us aboutnow." We  both disslove into laughter.

He finally recovers enough to speak and the way he bounces on the bedin his excitement reminds me of Debbie. "Remember the time we had to goto the high school reunion and Jarod made us 'Mr and Mrs Ricky Sanders'?Boy I thought he had found out about us for sure." He shakes his head andgrins. "But he really just wanted to make you mad. And Syd, he got sucha kick out of it because you acted so pis...angry I mean. And the wholetime we're laughing because we're really married! And then those peopleat the reunion called you Xena..."  My face darkens at the name. Herealizes his mistake and works fast to cover his tracks. "Oh yeah, wellI ....  And what about those pictures of my 'ex-wife' taking Debbiewith her to Vegas? He really thought Debbie's nanny was my ex-wife witha gambling problem. He even helped me get custody!" Seeing him laugh it'ssuddenly not so funny.

"He needs positive reinforcement in his life." Shaking my head witha sigh. " Jarod wants more than anything to feel helpful, to be needed."Suddenly pity for him envelopes me and I realize how obvious it is on myface. "Just be patient a little  longer."  I plead with him ashe lays on the bed laughing.  "As soon as Jarod can find his motherand sister it'll be over with.  At least then he'll have someone tohold his hand and take care of him.  Besides, I almost have thingswrapped up at the Centre."  The laughter now gone. He picks up theremote and turns off the TV before slipping under the covers.  Hefluffs his pillow,  lays  back and  looks at me.  Itis written on  his face that something is gnawing away at him.

"You know when we got married and you told me  we would have tokeep it secret?   I thought it would be  for only a coupleof months... but it's been fourteen years now.   I'm not kiddingwhen I tell people I sold my soul to work for the Centre."  He pausesfor a moment.  "And when you were pregnant with Debbie I thought thingswould change... but they didn't."  He raises up and leans on his elbow. "I went along with letting everyone at the Centre think  Debbie'snanny was my wife.  And I' ve gone along with your plan to help Jarod,but I want to know... when is this going to end?"  Slipping into bednext to him, I turn on my side to face him before  answering."I toldyou, once  Jarod was out of the Centre  he would have  sevenyears to find his family.  At the end of the first year  whenwe arranged for them to meet him everything seemed to have gone as planned. How was I supposed to know he'd lead the Centre sweepers along with Raines right to them?"  Watching him  it's obvious there is somethingelse unspoken.

"Yeah, well there's another thing we need to talk about.  I'm running out of ideas.  I mean there are only so many ways to havehis phones calls diverted and still have  it look  like we can't trace them.   It'd be nice if he realized his radio shack toysaren't working."  He shifts his position and continues.  " And I'm also getting tired of cleaning up his mess when he diverts large sumsof money.  He's too sloppy.  Last time Lyle almost caught him." I look at him  and wonder if he isn't just a little  bitter andjealous of the attention Jarod gets.

"You were with him for the last two days.  Didn't you bother toenlighten him? "  I retort while  reaching  over to turnoff the light.   My eyes take a few moments to adjust to thedim room.

"No!  All he did was stare at that DSA reader and eat pop tarts. You know how it is with everyone at the Centre...if it isn't on a DSA ora surveillance tape it didn't happened ... it doesn't exist."  I snugglenext to his side as he wraps his arm around me.   " And you knowhow he is when he eats too much sugar ."  His hand caresses my hairand the band of his watch painfully catches  an occasional stray.

"Ouch!  Do you have to wear that to bed?"   He reluctantlytakes it off and places it on the nightstand.  Again my body curlsnext to his as  his fingers resume their play in my tresses. "When are you going to take care of Angelo?"  I can feel his chestslowly rise as if the question is a heavy weight.

"I'll  install the new program in the morning."  He soundsso exhausted.  Silently I thank him, not only for me but also forAngelo.  If Raines didn't think he was useful he would have discardedhim  long ago like a soiled  adult diaper, a depleted O2 tank or last week's empty bottle of Rogaine.

"Did you  arrange the transfer of money for the arms deal?"    There isn't an answer this time and  his hand which was  caressing my hair now lies still.  He's asleep and I can hear his heart beatingas I lay with my head on his chest.  Slowly my finger trace the outlineof a heart in the flannel.  This man lying next to me is a paradox. While others judge him as inept and weak ,  I see him for what hereally is.  Strong and patient, loving and kind,  my fortressin times of distress.   He may not be as physically attractiveas Jarod but this man holds my heart in his hand.  And I feel safewith him as  I drift off to sleep.
 

Caught in the twilight  between consciousness and sleep, a sudden noise snaps me awake.  At first I nudge him  but hecontinues to slumber.  Finally  having no choice  I elbowhim in the ribs and tell him in a loud whisper.  "You're snoring again."  He vaguely grunts  and rolls  to his side.  But in minuteshe's back at it.  I need some sleep and I've had it with him! Sitting up and reaching over to the nightstand,  I pull the draweropen.  My hand reaches in searching...ah there it is. As my hand glidesover my gun  I can feel  the cold hardness   beneathand my fingers wrap tightly around it.   This snoring has gotto stop.  Quickly pulling it out, my nimble fingers deftly open thesmall  plastic case and remove the  earplugs I always keep handy. My decision is made.  Tomorrow I'm calling  the  doctorto make an appointment for him.  If he refuses to go I'll have Samescort him there.   I remove the ear plug from my left ear andpull out a few  strands of stray hair before re-inserting it. With both in place I slide back under the warm covers and roll over tomy side.  I may be Miss Parker by day but  I'm  Mrs. Brootsby night.

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