Breaking Free From Loss of Liberty

A normal life is hardly what Michael would call this. More like an

improvement. Okay not an improvement. Because he didn't remember feeling like

this everyday. Sure they where safe, or they appeared to be. But it was the

emotional toll the whole ordeal had taken on him that was bad. Isabelle had

recovered much more easily then him and Max. Max of course, the deep soul

that he is, gave lots of thought to what had happened, but in the end, he had

to get over it. Or begin to. Liz being without Maria, wasn't exactly positive

for her either. Of course she had no idea of what had happened. And she

wouldn't know. But out of all of them Michael found it the hardest. Not

because he wanted to be the one miserable. Because he really felt that way.

It seemed the four of them, plus Alex now, each had each other. And while

Michael did have Max and Isabelle, they also had other people to depend on,

not just him. And that is where Michael thought he had lost out. Because the

only thing he thought he did have, that the others didn't, was gone, and not

what he thought her to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael walked down the darkened street, as he did on many nights. In the

beginning just to see, to see if she had returned, and he could confront her.

Then he went out of hope, hope that she would be there. Then he finally began

going out of despair. It wasn't really as pathetic as it sounded. Something

told him she wasn't coming back, but at the same time he wanted her back. And

he thought himself desperate.

But this night was different. This night he had made a decision. One he had

been debating on over the past three months. No one had moved in, and no sign

had been put up to sell the house. But the curtains remained in place, and he

saw no evidence of anyone moving anything. The grass had of course gotten

high, and it added to the gloomy feeling the house emanated. Michael passed

Marias window slowly, recalling another moment when he had been there. Even

the rainbow colored beads still hung.

Once to the front door, he looked around cautiously, but the streets where

empty, and all lights where off in the houses. Michael brought his hand up to

the knob and when he heard a click and the door gave and opened, he stepped

in. The house had a bland smell to it. It lacked the smells that normally

would fill a house. Michael pulled out the flashlight in his pocket and

flipped it on. And to his surprise, everything in the house was the same.

Furniture was still in place, as were tables, and a tv. Little aliens

decorated the house, as did other small things. But what also struck him was

the fact that it looked like it hadn't been straitened up. A cup sat on the

table, a coat on the floor, by the couch. Once he had made his way to the

kitchen, he even noticed a few dirty dishes in the sink. But the kitchen

wasn't his priority. Michael headed in the direction of Marias room.

And for some reason, he was shocked, because everything Maria seemed to own,

still covered her room. Her bed laid unmade, pictures scattered in frames,

where around the room, he even noticed a couple of her oils on her dresser.

Michael moved slowly towards her closet, when opened he found it filled with

Maria's clothes. And the impression he got, was not a thing had been removed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Michael are you crazy!" Isabelle whispered.

"Isabelle, look, I wanted to know! Get off my back!" Michael yelled.

"Now your snooping around her house, when our lives are finally starting to

get back to normal." Isabelle scolded him. She was back with her family and

friends, and did not want to be taken away again.

Michael stood up and walked out of the Crashdown quickly, but he heard them

get up and follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liz watched the heated up conversation between Michael and Isabelle, and when

he got up and left without a word, with Isabelle and Max hurrying behind him,

she knew something was up. Liz turned to the nearest waitress, telling her to

take the register, and she hightailed it to the back and out the door. Once

in the alley she hurried around the Crashdown till she reached the side, and

when she did, she inched forward slowly, and when she could hear the

conversation she stopped.

"Michael you have got to get over this." Max told Michael concerned.

"Get over what?! I wanted to see what was going on. You two where making no

attempt to find out what really happened. Not a single thing has been removed

from her house." Michael told Max.

"Michael, so what. Finding out where she is, or why she is there, will do us

no good. It is better just to go on without lives. Because you trying to find

out, will get us in more trouble." Max tried to reason with his friend, but

knew he was getting no where.

Michael shook his head. "That is all the two of you want, is to be happy and

safe, when there is something else going on out there. Do you realize that

what she knows could get us home?" Michael asked them.

Isabelle laughed angrily. "What she knows could get us home? Michael! Listen

to yourself. You are in so much denial right now. Fine we don't know the real

truth as to what went on with her. And I don't know what to believe either.

But you can't even get on with your life now. I've seen you. And I know that

as closed off as you where before, you're worse now. Because before, you had

only us, and then you had Maria. But now that she is gone, and it is tearing

you apart." Isabelle grounded out.

Michael glared menacingly at Isabelle, but didn't speak. Instead he turned

and took off.

"Isabelle I don't think that was a wise choice." Max told his sister.

"But it's the truth Max, he can't even get over this, and it is tearing him

apart not knowing who she really is, and where she is." Isabelle said as she

watched Michael become farther and farther away.

"I agree Isabelle. But I don't think it was best to confront him with the

fact. Michael doesn't like facing the truth."

"I know that. But maybe once he does face the truth, he can get over the

fact, that Maria is not coming back." Isabelle said to her brother. And she

strongly believed that is what Michael would have to do.

"You don't know that." Max said to her lowly.

"Don't know what?" Isabelle asked him confused.

"That she won't come back."

Isabelle sighed, and looked off in the distance that Michael had disappeared.

"You know at first, I was glad that she wasn't coming back. But now after

seeing Michael breaking apart, and the free situation that we seem to be in

now, I don't know what to think."

Max looked at his sister with mild shock. He had always gotten the impression

that she never wanted Maria back. He also had mixed feelings now as to what

would be better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liz walked back quickly to the Crashdown. But her thoughts where going

faster. And every second her hopes rose, as did the possibilities. It had

been her job to watch the three of them. And to monitor how they got along.

And to be able to report now that they where beginning to except it would do

more for Maria then anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maria walked quietly down the halls of her fathers military base. She hated

this place. She hated the snotty looks that people gave her. This place

always made her feel weak. And her father said it was good for her. It would

strengthen her for when she got out into the world. If she ever got out into

the real world again.

For the past five months she had been walking these metallic halls, being

taught with all the others her age, there for a reason. Most where there for

a reason, to carry out some plan that they had been trained for. But the only

reason she was there, was because dear old daddy was in charge. So it didn't

sit well with most people. But she didn't let them know it bothered her. But

she really felt alone here. At least when she was younger, she knew she would

return home, and be able to push this secret life behind her. But at this

point she had no clue as to when she was going home, or if she would even be

able to.

The truth was, she realized as she walked the halls, that as tough as she

acted, she wasn't. Because on the inside she was breaking down. Some of the

kids around here, where different, hard on the outside and inside. Maybe it

was because half of her life was spent outside in the real world with

friends. And most of these people despised her, because she had the

opportunity, to do what she wanted. Because her daddy was some big important

man. That Maria DeLuca didn't do anything on her own. Except she knew that

was so not true.

Maria stepped into the large room, with way, to clean, tables lined up.

Compared to this she loved school. She was in hell. And it was her fathers

version of high school. Well not really. It was a group effort for all the

assholes in training. And what they where being trained for was known only to

themselves, not to anyone else. And you didn't ask. Would they even believe

her if she said hers was to free aliens. If they had any respect for her in

the first place, it would be gone after that.

Maria ignored the snotty looks she got from the tall slim, built girls, and

the huge towering guys. Because the truth was she was there because of her

father and mother. And no amount of anything could make her look like them.

They where built, and taught, to accomplish by any means necessary. And she

stuck out like a swore thumb here. She sat down slowly in the cool desk and

let her head hang low. She felt like she was being punished. No amount of

hate from her friends could compare to this. At least then she would be home.

Maria waited impatiently for there military style teacher to arrive, but she

didn't, and they where always punctual. Instead she had another snotty bitch,

full of her strength, turn around and face her, hoping to break her.

"You know, Ms. DeLuca," the girl emphasized the word Ms. "I would give up

anything to know why you are here? Are you still in training? Or did you

fail? Because if we fail, we get shipped out. But not you."

One thing Maria noticed they didn't work on in this place, was personality.

"While at the same time I couldn't care less why you are here." Maria said

evenly.

"Well you wouldn't, because we are of course lower then you. I mean, we

should be happy just to be in the same room with you." The girl said with a

smirk.

Maria glanced up at another guy and girl who had neared them, listening to

the conversation, hoping to see Maria fold. Why could some stupid teenager

phase her, but she could threaten the hell out of some doctor who strapped

her down to a table. Maria smiled. "You should be. Because like you said, if

you fail, you aren't worth a damn thing, while I can sit back and watch, as

the base goes through each and every one of you like you mean nothing. So I

can understand why you would be a little snotty. I mean it must be hard

knowing your the lowest piece of crap out there." Maria said with a smirk. Of

course, even though she spent most of her life in Roswell, living with her

family you still learned. And one thing that she had learned, especially from

her father, was that never let anyone push you down, and that you where

higher then them all. Of course she didn't firmly believe that she was higher

then most. But it did help to confront an idiot like this. "I mean why else

would you be sitting here trying to provoke me?"

"Because we don't like you." the girl said angrily.

"And why don't you like me, you know, before you go off telling me that I

mean nothing, you should take a mental overview of yourself. Because your

temper is not in check." Maria told her snottily.

"I don't need to keep my temper in check." the girl spat out.

Maria noticed by this time a few others had joined the crowd. But it didn't

matter, she was winning this battle. Maria leaned forward in her desk. "Oh I

think you do. Because I could have your ass shipped out of here in less then

an hour. Don't think for a moment we are equal because I am sitting in here

with you. I don't think dear old daddy would be to happy if he knew his

little girl was being threatened." Maria smirked. "And that is why you hate

me." Maria watched as the girl seemed to turn red almost, and jumped up in

her chair. Maria stood up, not backing down.

"Ms. DeLuca." Maria turned to the sound of the teacher.

"Your base contact has made contact with us." she told Maria from the doorway.

Maria gave the woman a confused look. But it wasn't because she was confused

as to what she said. She was confused because she hadn't heard from her base

contact in 2 and a half months. Maria pushed the girl out of her way quickly,

and took off at top speed through the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maria ran quickly to her room, almost knocking down some people that

mistakenly where in her path. Once there she shut the door and picked up the

phone. "Base 2698. Contact 4829-341." she said into the phone breathlessly.

When she heard a familiar voice on the other end giving her access code and

then the click of the operator disconnecting, Maria spoke. "Liz!"

"Maria! Oh god I'm glad you called right away." Liz said obviously relieved.

"Liz, why are you calling, I haven't talk to you in over two months." Maria

said into the phone.

"But I said when things changed I would call, no sooner, no later." Liz told

Maria, almost excitedly.

"What changed?" Maria asked cautiously, as if it could be for the worse.

"I think it's time you came home, Maria"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Absolutely not."

"What!" Maria screamed. Her eyes flew to her mother, who was equally shocked.

"Why not?" Amy asked him.

"Because it is my choice." Brian DeLuca said evenly.

"Oh no, don't you pull that almighty crap with me." Amy said as she stood up.

Maria bounded from the chair she sat in. "We had a deal! When and if they

believed me I could go back!"

"Well I am going back on my deal!" Brain yelled.

"This isn't some deal you made with some idiot! This is your daughter! I will

no let you condemn her to this life!" Amy screamed angrily.

"So I should put her out in the world! In danger of people who could kill

her!" Brian yelled as he stood up abruptly.

"This is my life!" Maria yelled at him. "And I hate it here! I do not belong

here!"

"And you agree with this?" Brian asked Amy. He wasn't prepared to let Maria

go. At least her, with him, he could be sure she was okay. But even though he

helped to free the aliens, he still didn't trust them. He didn't trust anyone

for that matter.

"She belongs back in Roswell." Amy said firmly. "And I am going with her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liz peered through the kitchen door at them, as she talked into the phone.

"When will you be here?"

"Some time around eight tonight." Maria answered.

Liz sighed. "I really needed a week to prepare for this."

"Well my father was a little angry and ushered us out rather quickly. But

he'll get over it."

"Maria, when you get here, what are you going to do?" Liz asked hesitantly.

The whole situation will be very uncomfortable.

Maria groaned. "Nothing."

"Maria you can't just ignore the situation and expect it to go away. Look I

don't know to much about what went on. But I do know it was bad. I can tell."

Liz lectured her friend.

"Liz, I know. But for now, I do nothing. They wouldn't want to talk to me

anyway, even if they are beginning to understand."

"I think your going to have a problem with Michael." Liz told her.

"I know, I know." Maria said softly.

"No, you don't. You haven't seen him in three months. You really messed him

up. Because he is tearing himself apart trying to understand what happened

with you." Liz explained to Maria, trying to make her understand.

"Because he won't believe the truth!" Maria exclaimed.

"And can you blame him?" Liz retorted.

"No." Maria responded obviously upset. "Liz I'm worried about something. More

precisely you."

"Why? I'm fine Maria." Liz reassured her.

"That's not what I mean. They know my truth. Of course they don't want to

believe some of it. But that isn't the point. They don't know about you. Here

what I'm seeing. I come back but for some reason aren't around them. Now in

any normal situation, you would start suspecting something had went on. But

in this situation you know something has, and you aren't going to push. Now

aren't they going to wonder why you are so oblivious to the tension?" Maria

alerted Liz to the fact. And deep down, there really was only one solution.

"Liz what I am saying is, hiding your part in this could cause problems."

"So you want to tell them?" Liz exclaimed. That was the last thing she wanted

to do. She didn't want to lie to them, especially Max. But they where already

mad at Maria, immensely. She didn't think she could handle them feeling that

way towards her.

"Liz it may be the only way!"

"Look, I gotta go, they've been here for a while and I am going to tell them.

We'll talk about this other thing later. Wish me luck." Liz said to Maria.

"Make it subtle." Maria told her.

"I'll do my best." Liz responded. But subtle would hardly help her here.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Liz sighed as she watched her three friends talking. This wouldn't be easy

for her. She hadn't had the training Maria had. And now she had to act happy

about the return of her best friend, and ignore their tension and worry.

"Hey guys!" Liz exclaimed brightly as she walked towards their table. "Guess

who I just talked to?" Liz asked quickly.

"Who?" Max asked, a little curious.

"Maria! She is coming back to Roswell!" If Liz hadn't known already that

something was up, she would have known now but the tense looks on their

faces. Maybe Maria was right. They where being very obvious. And it would be

hard for anyone to ignore.

"When?" Isabelle forced out.

"Tonight! I'm going to go to her house. Do you all want to come?" Liz asked

them happily. Of course they wouldn't though.

"We um have some stuff to do. Sorry Liz. Actually we have to go now." Max

said and stood up, with the others joining him quickly. Max pulled out a

twenty to pay for their food, and shoved it into Liz's hand. "Tell her we um

said hi though." Max said to Liz nervously, then the three of them left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I think we should leave." Michael said as they exited the Crashdown.

"Leave?!" Isabelle exclaimed as they jumped in the jeep. "No, our lives are

finally getting back in order."

"Do you want to go back there?" Michael asked her angrily.

"Look, we are not going anywhere." Max said firmly. "Maria said she couldn't

come back, and I got the impression that is was because of us."

"And you trust her!?" Isabelle screamed to her brother. They where both being

unreasonable. She was caught right in the middle.

"I don't know what to believe!" Max yelled back. "But if they where going to

take us, I don't think they would need Maria here to do it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maria walked slowly into what she called home. It didn't fell quite the same

though. For some reason she got the impression it was because of her. The

house was the same, but she was somehow different now. Maria spun around as

the living room light came on.

"Home sweet home." Amy DeLuca said blandly.

Maria didn't answer. She began walking through every room of her house,

leaving her own for last. She tried to recall how she felt in this home over

four months ago. But for some reason she couldn't remember anything.

Once in her room though, she was bombarded with memories, she felt her eyes

begin to water as she recalled all the pain, and fear she had experienced,

and at the happiness and relief of being home.

"Maria?"

Maria turned around slowly at the familiar voice. "Liz?" Maria said softly.

She began walking towards her door, concentrating on putting one foot in

front of the other. But once in the doorway, she knew for sure.

"Maria!" Liz said and launched herself towards her best friend. She threw her

arms around Maria, finally being able to see and touch her best friend in

over three months.

"Oh god Liz. It seems like it's been forever." Maria said as she began to

cry.

"It has." Liz said and pulled away, but holding Maria at arms length. "You

look so different, and you look older."

Maria smiled and ran her fingers through Liz's hair. "Your hair is longer."

Liz smiled back, then pulled Maria in for another hug. "Oh god I am glad you

are back. It has been so hard here Maria. I felt like I have been carrying

the world on my shoulder. I went through my journal so fast." Liz said and

laughed.

"And now we get to do it together." Maria said softly. But her voice was a

little more grave then she planned.

Liz pulled away from Maria, breaking the contact they had. "Maria, when I

told them they really where freaked out. And they left immediately. Max even

gave me a twenty for a ten dollar check. If I didn't already know, I would be

suspecting something now."

Maria nodded. "Yea I know. And of all people, you would be the one to notice

something being wrong. But Liz, if they know, it could ruin whatever you have

with them." Maria warned her best friend. She knew from experience.

"I know that. But Maria, we can't lie anymore. I think the only think to do

now is lay everything on the table. Lying has gotten us in enough trouble. I

know we had to, but it did create problems anyway." Liz told Maria.

"Not yet though. I think we need to see what is going to happen, if I can at

least make them believe me, then it will soften the blow for when you tell

them. Hey what I had with them is already screwed, mine as well try helping

what you have." Maria said in a fake positive voice.

"Maria don't say that." Liz said decidedly. Refusing to believe there small

group had been broken.

"It's true. God Liz, you have no idea what went on there. You don't know the

physical pain they went through. I did everything to avoid it, but it was

hard. And the emotional pain they went through was all caused by me. I went

into there rooms, smirking at their bodies strapped down to tables, and

mocked them, teased them, lied to them." Maria said it all to Liz with her

voice full of tense emotion and pain.

"But Maria, you saved their lives. If you wouldn't have went through with

that, they could be very well in the hands of someone else now, without any

chance of escaping." Liz tried to reassure Maria, but it wasn't doing her any

good. Maria was continuously condemning herself. And no amount of convincing

from Liz would help. The only thing that would, would be the understanding of

Isabelle, Max, and Michael.

"Liz, it makes no difference. And you know it. Even if their lives are

remotely normal now, I still hurt them." Maria said sadly.

Liz frowned. "What happened Maria?"

"What do you mean?" Maria asked with slight confusion.

"I know it's you, and I can tell, but the way you talk, and the way you

sound, and just your actions, aren't the same." Liz said with said

realization. But Maria didn't respond to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One thing that Maria had appreciated about her time of arrival back in

Roswell, was that it was during the summer, meaning she wouldn't be thrusted

into their presence as she would have been in school.

It was her first morning in Roswell, and although she feared some of the

outside world, she wasn't going to waste it. She already had plans to go to

the Crashdown to see Liz and her parents. Hopefully Michael, Max, and

Isabelle, would be worried enough to keep there distance from there. Because

she wasn't up to facing them. And unfortunately it would happen sooner or

later.

Maria experienced an odd chill as she walked the busier streets of Roswell.

She liked being here, but everything seemed so different to her. As if she

was a stranger, an alien to this place. Michael, Isabelle, and Max's secret

was physical, what they really are. And they are not human. And if there

secret got out there would be danger. Hers could create almost the same

amount of danger. Except her secret was mental. She was the same as everyone

else. Physically. Similarities ended there. But her difference was more

cruel. Somehow they could live with themselves. They really weren't bad. Just

different. But she was bad. And she couldn't live with herself.

Maria opened the Crashdown door, and stood there for a moment, looking around

the familiar diner. Like her room, she was bounded with memories. Maria

slowly made her way through the diner, due to the fact of people recognizing

her and saying hello, and how nice to see her. But it really meant nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look, we can't keep on doing this. Avoiding her. Sooner or later something

is going to happen." Max stated to Isabelle and Michael as they drove out of

Roswell.

"So what, you suggest we walk up to her and strike up a conversation?"

Michael asked sarcastically.

"Max is right." Isabelle came to her brothers rescue. "We can't ignore her."

she noticed the resentment on Michaels face. "But we aren't just going to go

talk to her." she spat at him. "We need to decide if she should be

confronted, or if we should just wait."

"Wait. I'm in no mood to bring something on us that isn't needed." Michael

said quickly.

"And what if it is better to find out the truth from her." Max shot back.

Once again, in the middle. "I'm sorry to say it, but I myself am in no mood

to wait. And I think confronting her would be kind of dangerous. Leading to

my next conclusion that one of us should go to see her." Before anyone could

volunteer or back out she spoke. "And I think it should be Max."

"Why?!" Michael exclaimed, obviously upset that Max should be the one to go.

Although he wasn't to interested in facing Maria, for some reason he still

wanted to see her, and Max being the one to see her first wasn't a good idea

to him.

"Because your to emotionally involved, and don't try to deny it, it would

create more problems then we have. I on the other hand, am the opposite from

you. I wouldn't be welcoming either, but my emotional side is really detached

from Maria." Isabelle explained.

"Meaning your cut off and cold." Michael said angrily.

Isabelle glared at him but continued. "Max though, has a cool head, and out

of all of us, even you, wants to believe Maria is right, and he is more

trusting. And I think she would be more then worried to talk to you,"

Isabelle said to Michael, "and I wasn't exactly light hearted when we last

saw her." Isabelle looked over at her brother who was concentrating intently

on the highway in front of them. "Well Max?"

"I don't think it is a good idea Isabelle." Max said quietly not looking at

her.

"Max! Your the best choice. You agreed we need to find out something. Yea you

like to be in control. So what. Usually you accomplish that. And I think

Maria would trust you. She knows what kind of person you are. I'm the last

person that she would trust, and as for Michael, we're not going to go

there." Isabelle ignored the glare that she got from Michael out of the

corner of her eye. "Max this is all on you. Do you want to know the truth or

not?"

Max sighed, he turned his head to face Isabelle then he looked towards the

road. "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dropping Isabelle and Michael off, Max took of to Maria's, slowly. He

would have never thought he would actually have been afraid of Maria. But he

never knew who Maria really was. Max was unsure of how she would react when

he proclaimed to her that he wanted the truth. Because if she was telling the

truth all along, then she was bound to be annoyed. Max pressed the gas

harder, with resolve set on his face. Even if there was a spark of fear in

him, he also wanted to know the truth. Would she be cold and unfeeling as

last time? Or would she be the Maria they knew before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amy DeLuca looked into the peep hole, then turned away, scrunching her brow

in confusion. She looked through the small whole again then shook her head as

she stood back. Amy unlocked the door and pulled it open slowly. She gave the

boy a small smile.

Max tensed up at the site of Marias mother. She knew who and what he was, and

she knew that he knew about her. And the tension stood there between them.

"I'm guessing your here to see my daughter?" Amy asked kindly.

Max tried not to cringe at the kindness in her voice. Was it an act like

Marias had been. Or was it the real her. "Yes, mam."

"I was wondering how long it would take. Where you the one they chose to send

out into unknown dangerous territory?" Amy asked, the humor evident in her

voice.

"Unfortunately." Max responded. "Is Maria here?"

"Of course. It's a shame she really doesn't have any friends to spend time

with anymore. I wonder what happened?" Amy asked him hoping for a response.

"That's what I'd like to know." Max told her. The conversation remained

vague, but each knew what the other was referring to.

Amy smiled at him then turned her head to the back of the house. "Maria! You

have a visitor!" Amy yelled. Amy turned back to Max. "I would ask you in, but

for some reason I get the impression that you wouldn't except."

"You could be right." Max said evenly. Max looked past Amy DeLuca when he

heard fast footsteps inside the house getting louder. As expected, Maria

appeared behind the door.

"Are you going outside?" Amy asked her daughter a little more seriously.

Maria forced herself to nod. It was a ridged movement, and as she moved

outside her body didn't want to cooperate with her. Was it fear she felt?

Most likely. Maria grabbed the doorknob as her mother moved back, and pulled

the door shut behind her. She stood silently facing Max on her porch. For

once she became well aware of the cool wind blowing around her, and the

sounds of insects as they did there daily things at night. Maria chose to

remain silent, she didn't want to do anything to make him uncomfortable, or

cause him to lose any trust he had in her.

Max chose to be blunt. "Maria why are you here?"

"This is my home." Maria told him. This wasn't his town. This wasn't even

from this planet. But she kept those thoughts to herself.

"You said you weren't coming back." Max reminded her.

"No, I said I couldn't, and I couldn't for certain reasons that where keeping

me away. And now their not." Maria answered him vaguely. She knew he wanted

more. But she couldn't willingly tell him that she came back because Liz said

it was safe. "You want the truth don't you? You want to know what really

happened, which is the real me, and what is going to happen to you now."

"Maria I just want the truth. And our safety." Max told her evenly.

Maria narrowed her eyes at him, they still didn't believe her. Maria took a

deep breath and relaxed. He didn't have a reason to believe her. "I could

tell you the truth, but you wouldn't trust me."

Max wanted to deny it, but it was true. He couldn't trust here, even if he

wouldn't to. He still had doubts.

"And any proof I come up with, won't satisfy you. So I suggest you find the

truth on your own." Maria told him. She glanced at his jeep, then turned back

to him. "Do you want to find it?"

Max remained silent and unmoving for a moment. But he knew what he wanted,

and so did she. Max nodded silently.

"Then lets go, and I'll let you get your proof. But not here, not in

Roswell." Maria told him.

Max watched her cautiously. "You want to go outside of Roswell?"

"Yes. You want the truth. And I want you to have it now, I want you to

believe me right now. Because I cannot put up with this." Maria paused

realizing his unsure attitude. "Make a decision Max. Sure I could be tricking

you. But you need to make a choice."

Max remained silent for only a moment. Once again his quest for the truth

over came any concern over his safety. "Lets go."

Maria didn't speak. Instead she followed him towards the jeep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where do you want to go?" Max asked Maria evenly as they neared the

outskirts of Roswell.

"I don't care. Somewhere out of Roswell, quiet and alone." Maria told him.

She didn't even turn to him. Although she did watch him out of the corner of

her eye. But he stared strait ahead to. This was the most uncomfortable

situation she had ever been in. She had never really been alone with Max

before, even though he was her best friends love interest. But usually if she

was around him, it was because Liz was. So they sat in uncomfortable silence

as they past dimly lit houses, and darkened stores.

Max pressed on the gas. When had he become eager? Sure there was the initial

fear. And yea it was still there. But discovering the truth at this point,

meant more to him then anything, even his own safety, and maybe his life. And

the thought that the truth had been stored inside of this small girl his

whole life made him want to laugh harshly at the ridiculousness of it. So he

ventured to take a glance at her. And along with all the oddness of the

situation, came along with the remembrance of the fact that not only did

Maria hold their truth, but she held a truth about herself that none of them

had been aware of, or suspected. So at this point, although Max could hardly

admit, he stood in total awe of Maria. Because she was now, the total

contradiction of what he or anyone else had thought her to be.

"Here." Maria spoke up. It was perfect. And inside she smiled. The part of

her that reveled in taking people by surprise. Because she noticed the

evident cringe at his realization that she had picked the crash site.

Max pulled off the highway and drove out deeper into the desert until he knew

they where far enough from the road not to be seen. Max turned off the

ignition then stepped out of the jeep without even glancing at Maria. But as

he started to walk, he heard her footsteps follow.

Maria followed Max and after a moment he stopped and turned to her. Maria

smiled. "Out here, no one can here you scream."

Max chose to step closer to Maria. "Is that supposed to scare me?"

Maria nodded. "No. It's just the truth. Out here, no one can hear you."

"Maria cut it out. You said I had to find out the truth. So tell me how." Max

ordered her.

"You know, I'm surprised you three didn't do it on your own before now.

Especially Isabelle, since she seemed to have perfected the task so well."

Maria said in a kind voice. But she knew most likely that sound annoyed him

to no end.

"What are you talking about?"

"Uhhhhhh!!!" Maria groaned loudly. "You aliens annoy the hell out of me!"

Maria grabbed Max's in her own and brought them up to the sides of her head.

"In there is the truth!" Maria yelled to him and stepped forward. "Everything

you want to know. And you and me both know that if you went in my head I

couldn't hide anything. Because you could dig around in their freely. So you

want to know if I am telling the truth? You want to know what happened to

your families and your planet? Well come and get it." Maria challenged him.

"And don't stop until you've found it all. Because I am tired to no end of

trying to prove myself. Go all through my life if you need to." Maria waited

for a moment. And she noticed the fear in his eyes. "What are you scared of?

You wanted the truth. Get it. But I'm going to warn you, what is in here,"

Maria said referring to her head, "isn't what you are expecting. Your not

going to see that your family died in the crash. Or see where your home is.

And you may just find something new, that you wish you never found out. So

ask yourself if you are willing to take that chance."

"Are you?" Max asked and pulled her towards him with his hands on either side

of her face. "Are you ready for all to be revealed, and no more secrets to

hide behind?"

"I'm more then ready. I want you to do this. But the question is, are you

ready?" Maria asked him softly.

Max sighed deeply then shut his eyes, and immediately pulled at her memories

and thoughts. He barely heard the startled gasp that came from her, instead

he just pushed forward. And he began at the beginning.

Max found himself inside a house, and he seemed shorter then usual. He tried

to move in his body, but soon realized it was not his own. And as the small

body moved and his hearty was thumping in his chest he realized in an instant

he was reliving a memory. A small hand reached out and opened the door,

slowly and shakily. He heard the faint sounds of footsteps, and the darkness

that filled the room he was in, only brightened slightly as the dim light

from a hallway beamed in. And from inside he could feel the heart beating,

and feel the small hands shaking with fear. And before the door could be

opened it was flung opened, knocking the body he was in backwards. Max heard

a choke gasp of air that escaped the body, but he could hardly pay attention

is a tall man stood in the doorway. The next thing he knew, two shots rung

out, and the once tall fearful figure dropped to the ground in a heap. The

child's eyes moved down towards the black heap that laid next to her, then

his line of sight moved again and he found a younger, but familiar man

standing in front of him. Before the body he was in had any chance to run

out. The man raised a gun and shot the man on the floor two more times. Then

as soon as the last shot was fired a women came running threw the door way

and pulled him off of the floor. Max felt the tears that ran down the face,

and he felt as the body began to shake. He could barely hear the cries coming

from the other women as the body he inhibited cried wildly. He soon felt

himself being carried out of the room, and the hallway whizzed by as they ran

into another room. He found himself placed on a bed, and the women ran around

wildly pulling things out of drawers, and throwing them into bags. Max head

began to pound, and his stomach lurch with the continuos gulps of air, and

violent crying. And in his sight moved and he found a small blond haired girl

crying, staring back at him from the dresser mirror.

Max pulled out of the memory abruptly, but before he could exit the painful

hell he was in, he found himself forced into another memory.

The next thing Max knew, he was walking down a hallway, behind a man with

blond hair. But he also noticed that this body seemed to be a little taller.

Then man stopped, and so did the body. And as he turned to face the body, he

knew right away that it was Brian DeLuca.

"In here."

Max felt the nervousness flood the girl, and as it did, memories where pulled

up, and Max was hit with an immediate intensity of emotion. And it all flew

by him in moments. He knew what Maria knew and felt what Maria felt about it

all at once. And it was like he knew it all along. Just as she had. He knew

that they're where only four survivors. And hew knew that all along Michael,

Isabelle, and him had been known about. He knew that the ship had been

discovered. He knew that there where records found on the ship, and he knew

that they where there on Earth for a reason. To survive. Because they didn't

blend in with any other place. Humans where the only ones with similar

characteristics. So it was easier to hide here. And that they had no home to

return to. Then as abruptly as he knew it, all the facts that Maria had given

him quickly halted as she composed herself and entered a room.

"Ms. DeLuca, please take a seat."

Max felt the rigidness of Maria's steps, and the nervousness that she felt.

And he knew from her thoughts, that something was going on here. Once Maria

had taken a set, the man began to speak.

"Ms. DeLuca, how many of the other life forms are left?"

"Four." Maria answered without a doubt.

"Yes. And of those four, we know of three. And those three live in Roswell."

"In Roswell?" Maria exclaimed. And he felt the surprise and worry she felt.

"Who are they?"

"In good time Ms. DeLuca. But now you have a job to do. You are 12 now, and

we think that you are well within the ability to learn about these aliens.

And in time their identities will be revealed and you will take on the task

of infiltrating them."

Before Max could gage Maria reaction, Max felt himself thrust threw memories,

and once again, they all seemed to become his. And it seemed as if he had

lived every single one of them. He saw Maria finding out their real

identities, he saw her watching them, he saw her mother scold her for

breaking down in tears at school. And he felt the pain in Maria as her mother

walked away, leaving Maria to deal with everything on her own. He then began

to see Liz. He saw Liz shot. He saw himself healing her. And then the blur

stopped, and he found himself face to face with a more current image of

Marias mother and father, and a more familiar sound of Marias voice.

"I hate you!" Maria screamed. And Max noticed it was through tears that she

was shedding from anger and hurt.

"Maria you knew we would be taking certain measures." her father spoke up,

seeming unharmed by her sudden outburst.

"You shot her! You shot her for your own benefit. You shot her because she is

my best friend and it proved the perfect advantage." Maria screamed with pure

fury. And Max knew right away that this was after Liz was shot. And this had

to be what Maria had referred to when she said that Liz had been shot on

purpose.

"Maria, we had to. It was the only way. We where not progressing fast

enough." Amy said to her daughter.

Max felt tremors began to run through Marias body, and he felt the anger and

fear that began to fill her. He heard her unconscious thoughts. They spoke of

a realization that her life was not her own anymore, and that it never was.

That she was being used as an available object to get to three aliens she

didn't care about. And she would do anything to be rid of them.

"So what! Now if everything goes as planned I have to get to know them! I

cannot believe this!" Maria screamed.

Brian stood up and walked towards Maria. "If you do not find out about them,

we will not have anyone on the inside to help. No one knows them personally.

And to help them we need to know them personally. Now are you going to be so

selfish as to think of yourself, or are you going to help other?"

Max felt the pure fury ripping through Maria at her fathers words. "I will

help. But don't for a minute assume, that your lying and trying to make me

feel bad because I am supposedly so selfish had anything to do with it."

Then Max found himself pulled away from that memory and thrusted through

more. And he lived through the whole process in seconds of Maria becoming

part of them over just six months. And it was all through her eyes. He saw

her wanting to reveal everything to the sheriff for the simple fact that she

didn't want to deal with it. He immediately caught Marias thoughts of what

she would have to do, and what their futures would be. And he saw her

relationship with Michael, and the pain she felt at knowing that she would

have to deceive him. And as they continued to pass him by something else

imbedded itself in his memory, and he tried to stop the rush of memories, but

he had no control. Maria was pushing him forward. But he saw it and

remembered it, and he felt his own heart being suffocated. And it came to the

point where he was unable to stand the rush of images and he drew away. His

eyes popped opened and he found himself face to face with Maria. She was

sweating, and her bloodshot eyes almost seemed sunken in with the darkness

that surrounded them. He noticed her jaw grounded together and the

determination set on her face. "Maria let go." Max gasped as he realized the

connected was not broken. He was feeling every emotion going through her

body. And he soon realized his body was also under equal physical stress.

"No." Maria forced out. But her voice wasn't strong. Her answer was in a

painful whimper.

Max felt himself being pulled back in roughly. And before he was pulled out

of the physical world he gasped, and he heard a startled cry from Maria as

they fell to the ground on there knees. Then he saw it all, and felt it all.

Amy: "You know there weaknesses."

Isabelle: "You where a traitor!"

Max: "You lied to us."

Maria: "This is everything nightmares are made of."

Maria: "I'm a stone wall Mr. Guerin. Nothing you say or do has any affect on

me."

Michael: "Get away from me."

Maria: "Mr. Guerin, your clinging to something that isn't there.

Maria: "....I never have and never will, need you, want you, miss you, or

love you."

Max: "Leave her alone!"

Isabelle: "That isn't true! She loves us!"

Brian: "Maria calm down. You have been taught how to control emotions."

Dr. Bernard: .....and that Mr. Guerin has been the only one that you have

been this intimate with, that you would also prove very valuable in some of

our experiments."

Dr. Bernard: "Well I am asking because what you are about to experience is

very close to an exam."

Maria: "No!"

Isabelle: "There is no way you can be human. And whatever they do to you, you

deserve it."

Michael: "Your lying."

Janelle: "Wasn't there a reason for the way you acted?"

Maria: "Yes, but that doesn't make it right."

Janelle: "You where left alone. And you sacrificed yourself. You

sacrificed everything good inside of you, to the point where you are hating

and degrading yourself, when you did your best to help your friends."

Michael: "What the hell happened to you?"

Isabelle: "How could you do this to us? Betray us like this?"

Max: "Maria that is a little hypocritical of you to say."

Maria: "You don't know anything about me!"

Isabelle: "So, what, do you want our pity and thanks?"

Maria: "I do not want or need your pity."

Maria: "They're gone."

Liz: "I'll do fine. And I'll make the situation improve if I have to. You

will return to Roswell."

Liz: "You'll be back, I know you will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Max opened his eyes, he was met with the hard dirty ground. And as he

tried to move his head felt like it had been run over by a truck. He slowly

pushed himself from his position on the ground, and he found Maria laying on

her side sobbing. Max held his body up off the ground with his weakened arms.

Max had always thought himself the strongest with his powers, and more

controlled. But now he knew his limits. Because the connection had

practically killed him mentally and physically.

Max slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and sat there quietly. Any

movement or sound was killing his head.

"Did you see it?"

Max looked down at Maria. Her face was dirty from the sand that stuck to her

now tear stained face, and her hair was matted to her head. And her eyes

looked haunted, and broken. But all Max could do was nod.

"You felt it?"

Max let his eyes shut and she nodded his head stiffly. He had felt more then

enough. It was to much for all at once.

Marias muscles tensed as she pushed herself up. And a riveting pain pounded

in her head. Maria crawled towards him, and sat back on the ground.

"Liz?" Max asked shakily.

Maria looked away in the distance and her chin began to quiver that it

stopped and she nodded.

"Why?"

"She had no choice. She didn't find out only three months before you where

taken. And she had no idea what would go on when you where. I needed help,

and she was all I had." Maria told him weakly.

Max wanted to find out more, but he lacked the strength to pursue the

subject.

Maria sat there silently, but she continued to shake, and her mind debated on

whether to talk any longer. But she couldn't wait. "Do you believe me?" Maria

asked him.

Max looked up, and he could see the desperate hopeful look in her eyes.

Maria moved forward and grabbed onto his arm, leaning into him. "Max please.

I can't go on like this with no one trusting me. I can't keep this in

anymore. Because it is so alone. There is no one to tell me everything will

be okay. Or to try to reason with me that what I have done was for the good."

Max looked at her cautiously. He had saw everything, and felt it all. And it

had troubled him to no end. And here she was clinging to him as if he was the

only thinking keeping her from falling into oblivion.

"Max please." Maria pleaded with him. "Did you find the truth?"

Max let out a deep breath and nodded.

Maria eyes widened only slightly, and a choked sobbed passed her lips, and

without thinking of how it would make him feel. Maria threw her arms around

Max.

Max sat there stiffly as Maria arms wrapped around him for dear life and she

cried. Max shut his eyes and sighed softly, and he unsurely wrapped his arms

around Maria. And as soon as he was able to relax with Maria in his arms, he

felt her body go limp and slump.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max put the jeep into gear and pulled off towards the highway. He glanced once again at Maria, but she still laid passed out. His only guess, which was a hopeful one, was that Maria hadn't been able to handle the stress of the connection. So here he was, practically flying down the bumpy roads back to Roswell. Thoughts ran through his head of where he should take her. The most logical choice would be back home. But he was not in the mood to bring a passed out, physically beat up Maria back to her mother. And brining her by Isabelle and Michael was out of the question. When she woke up, everything would just blow up. Even though he now knew the truth, Maria defenses would still be up, and Isabelle and Michael wouldn't be very excepting. So the next thought was Liz. And he knew immediately that was his only choice. He had something to get cleared up anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?"

"Liz, it's Max. I'm on the way to the Crashdown, with Maria." Max told her.

"Okay." Liz said a little unsurely. Why would he tell her that, unless....

"We're coming in the backdoor. Your going to need to help me bring her upstairs."

"Alright, when are you-" Liz was cut off by the sound of the phone hanging up on the other line.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max pulled up in the alley with a screeching halt. He leaned into the back, and pulled the passed out Maria out from the back seat. As he stepped out of the jeep, he found Liz waiting impatiently with the backdoor open. Max walked quickly to the Crashdown, praying that no one saw him.

Liz's eyes widened as she saw Maria. Her hair was a mess and obviously had sand in it. Her face wasn't any cleaner. Her clothes seemed dirty. And under her eyes had this dark haunting look. Liz followed closely behind Max as she hurried up the steps. Liz squeezed passed him, and made her way to her room. And once inside she shut the door locking it. When she turned around, she found Max placing Maria gently on her bed. "Max wha-"

"You lied to us." Max said immediately as he stood up.

Liz's mouth opened partially as if she had something to say. But nothing would come out.

"I saw it all. I was in Marias head. And I saw the total truth, and you knew about it all." Max told her. And the hurt he felt, he knew was evident.

"I had to." Liz said painfully. Liz looked past him at Maria. "I couldn't tell you. They wouldn't let me if I wanted to. And Maria was breaking down, and she needed me. I wanted you to know, I wanted to tell you so bad. But I couldn't. It was the only way." Liz began to cry, he wasn't even saying a word to her. She walked towards Max who was still standing by her bed. "I'm so sorry Max, I didn't know what they would do. Maria wouldn't tell me, she didn't want me to know. But they told me it would help you, help keep all the FBI guys away, and stop people from following you. So I wanted to help. I just wanted you to be safe, and not have to worry about really being caught and never getting away. Max I really am sorry."

Max stepped forward towards Liz, he brought one hand up and gently wiped the tears away. "I saw and felt the truth. I know. The only person who is at fault are the ones who have followed us and driven us to this point."

Liz opened her mouth to speak, but her moan from Maria drew her attention away. "Maria really didn't want to hurt you. She couldn't come back for the past three months because if she didn't have any sort of trust from you three then she wouldn't be safe. And you didn't believe her. And she knew you had no reason to."

Max dropped his hand from Lizs face and glanced back at Maria who was still sleeping. "I know. I saw it all. But it isn't me that needs convincing of the truth."

Liz stood there, a silent debate fighting in her head. She walked away from Max, and picked up the phone handing it to him.

Max looked down at the phone then back up to Liz. It seemed a hard thing for him to accomplish.

"Did they know you came here?" Liz asked him softly.

Max nodded. "I was designated."

"Then they wanted to know. They need the truth. And they need to see Maria. Because if she wanted to capture all of you," Liz turned and looked at Maria, "I don't think she would have went through this."

Max nodded and took the phone from Liz. He dialed to his house slowly, and as he listened to the ringing he glanced at the clock, which now read 10:13. It had been over four hours since he dropped them off. The connection with Maria had been longer then it seemed. After the second ring it picked up.

"Hello?"

Max noticed the hurried tone in Isabelle's voice.

"It's me."

"Oh god Max. Where have you been! Nevermind, what happened?!"

"I found the truth. And more then we knew about or ever wanted to know." Max told his sister as he watched Maria.

"And?"

"I think you should come over here to Liz's. Come to the back." Max said and hung up before she could speak again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isabelle looked at the phone in confusion then hung it up.

"Well?" Michael asked hurriedly.

"He said he knows the truth. But he sounded kinda freaked. He wants us to go over to Liz's." Isabelle paused for a moment. "Why Liz?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I don't know about this Liz. This seems kind of dangerous." Max said to her as she cleaned Marias face.

"When then Max. A week from now. I know the three of you don't trust her. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be to resolve anything. It's been over two months since you where taken. All of you where going to eventually going got have it out. Better sooner then later." Liz said softly as she looked up at him.

Max kneeled down in front of her. "And where will you be when we do have it out?"

Liz looked away from Max for a moment then turned back to him. "There is no side here. We are trying to resolve things."

Max shook his head. "Your going to be there for Maria."

Liz sighed, "I have to, you know the truth, but you are still hurt. I am the only one who at this point doesn't blame Maria. Although I know she put you through a lot, I know it wasn't the real her. And I know without a second thought she hates herself for it. I don't want to take a side. But when they start blaming her, I will back her up."

"They won't blame her. They just want the truth, like me." Max told her.

"But the three of you are not the same and don't react in the same way. I'm guessing there was a reason you where designated for confronting Maria."

Max frowned and nodded.

"And they where hurt to. Even with the truth it will be hard to forgive. " Liz told him and smiled sadly.

Max gave her a smile. "How do you do that?"

"What?" Liz asked a little confused.

"Manage to not blame anyone?" Max asked her.

Liz smiled, but before she could respond she heard footsteps. Her eyes flew to her door and there was a soft knock.

"Max?"

Liz looked nervously at Max at the sound of Isabelle's voice.

Max took one more look at Liz then at Maria before he stood and headed to the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open slowly. And as Michael and Isabelle filed in, he didn't look at them. He just closed the door and locked it.

"Max, why are we-" Isabelle began then she caught site of what Liz was sitting by. "Oh."

Michael had seen her as soon as he had walked in. Max was standing back, and Isabelle couldn't move, but he couldn't stop from moving. He stepped forward slowly and stopped a couple of feet from the bed.

Liz looked up at Michael. And the emotion she saw on his face caught her by surprise. He was worried, scared, horrified all at once.

"What happened?" Isabelle asked Max but continued to look at Maria.

"I went to her house," Max began, "and she told me I had to find the answer on my own. So we went outside of Roswell, and she picked the crash site to stop at. Then we went out in the desert, and she told me to go into her head. So I made the connection. And I saw her whole life, just as if it was my own." Max paused for a moment, he could here the emotion in his voice. Because what he gotten form Maria had been to much all at once. "I felt everything she felt, and saw everything she saw. And when I pulled out because it had been to much, she held the connection. By that point she was sweating and her eyes where bloodshot, and seemed sunken in. And she was trembling all over. And when I tried to break it she wouldn't let me, and pulled me back in. And when it was all over we where both laying on the ground. And she was crying. Then moments later she passed out."

"What did you see?" Michael asked Max as he turned to him.

"The truth. There had been a plan, a plan almost as soon as we had waken up. And Maria had been pulled in immediately. Liz was shot on purpose. Maria had been forced into finding out about us. And-"

"Max." Michael grounded out. He was getting angry. Angry that he hadn't saw everything. He should have been the one to go.

Max watched Michael warily before he stepped forward and placed his right hand on the side of Michael face. And he threw everything at Michael with one forceful blow. He disconnected a moment later and was pushed back by the force of the connection. Max grabbed onto the side of the desk, but Michael wasn't so lucky. He fell to his knees then onto his arms.

Michael stayed there breathing heavily and shaking. And in one moment it all fit together. In one moment he now owned every single one of Maria memories. And in one moment he understood. Michael turned his head slightly as he heard Isabelle's worried gasp. And when she reached him, Michael grabbed her hand and made the connection, it was the only way.

A choked sound escaped Isabelle as she stiffened at the sheer force of the connection. The next thing she knew she had fallen over and was gripping Michael shirt. She slammed her fists on his back angrily. "You asshole!"

Max hurried towards Isabelle, and drug her away from Michael, who was now laying on the floor. Making a connection twice was bound to practically kill him.

Michael shook as he felt the lack of energy running through his body. Michael turned his head on the cool floor and looked at Liz, who gripped Marias hand. "You knew." he choked out.

Liz nodded at him sadly. "Three months before. Maria couldn't handle it on her own. She needed someone."

"Then she should have told us." Isabelle said to Liz.

Liz's back stiffened. "You know she couldn't have."

"She had the choice." Michael said decidedly and began pushing himself off the ground.

Liz felt her heart being broken because they wouldn't understand. "No she didn't, maybe in the beginning she did. But she didn't because her parents wouldn't let her. After she couldn't because she knew it was the only way to save your lives. Why can't you just believe it!?"

"Because it hurt!" Isabelle screamed. "What can't you just understand that!"

"People hurt all the time." a soft hoarse voice spoke up. "And rarely does anyone understand it. I think everyone knows that." Maria didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to. She didn't want to see them. But the emotions she had to relive where still raw in her mind, and she couldn't help the tears that ran down the side of her face. Maria bit her lip silently. When had her eyes and head hurt so much. The tears seemed to sting her eyes. And all of her muscles hurt.

"Can't you even look at us?" Isabelle asked. Her voice held some anger, but it also held the same painful emotion in Marias.

Marias eyes popped open and she turned. "Do you want me to look at you?"

Michael grounded his jaw together to control himself from reacting. Her eyes where bloodshot, and the popped blood vessels in her eyes horrified him. But he still didn't turn away.

Maria turned her head away from them and looked up to the ceiling. She wanted to say something mean, something to push them away. But she didn't want to keep her guards up anymore. Maria sighed. "I suppose I could have told you, but then we couldn't have drawn them away, and you would most likely be in the hands of the wrong people now." Maria paused for a moment then spoke again. "Did you know the rooms where brown?" Maria laughed, "I told them to change them to white, it would appeal more to your fears." Maria said and continued to laugh, but soon her face contorted into hurt and she began to cry.

Liz let a tear slide silently down her face as she watched Marias painful life take her over. Liz couldn't do anything to help her now sobbing friend, she wouldn't know where to start.

Maria turned slowly towards them. Her face was tear stained, and her teeth shattered with the quivering of her chin. A loud sob escaped her from deep inside, and she tried her best to hold it back. And her eyes met his, for the first time. Maria heaved in a deep breath, "I'm sorry." But she couldn't hold herself in anymore and she began to cry hysterically.

Liz dropped down to the side of the bed on her knees, and pulled Maria towards her into her arm and cried silently with her friend.

"Max, what's wrong?" Isabelle asked as she looked at her brother worriedly.

"The connection was to much for her. She relived every painful moment, and emotion in her life in just a couple of hours, its taking its toll on her now." Max explained, but couldn't tear his eyes from Maria.

"But so did you, and me and Michael saw it in one moment." Isabelle argued.

"It wasn't our life, she pushed it all back in attempt to forget it, and now she had to face it again all at once, she wasn't prepared for the physical and emotional strain." Max explained softly. He glanced over at Michael who stood there silently. And Max knew in one moment, that if Michael could he would take Maria into his own arms.

"Then why do it if she couldn't handle it? You said you stopped but she pulled you back in. Why?" Isabelle asked in an agitated voice.

Max finally turned to his sister, who was obviously on edge here, and not comprehending anything. "Because she wanted us to know the truth." Max looked back at Michael who was looking at him now.

"How do we know it is?" Michael asked.

Max sighed. He knew Michael wanted to believe it, but he couldn't. "You felt it Michael, you know what was a lie and what wasn't."

Michael didn't respond, he just turned and looked at Maria. Sure he had felt it and seen it all, and he wanted to believe it all, but what she had done had hurt to no end.

Liz continued to hold Maria as she cried, and she tried to soothe her, but she knew it was no good. Maria was literary breaking down. "Maria, do you want to go home?" Liz asked softly, but she wasn't prepared for the response she got from Maria.

"No!" Maria yelled. "I am not going back there!" she said angrily and pulled away from Liz.

"Maria?" Liz asked confused.

"Do you know that I am human. I am right!?" Maria yelled and nodded her head as if she tried to reassure herself.

Liz nodded a little fearfully.

"Okay." Maria said and nodded. "And humans have emotions right? They feel hurt and pain and happiness?"

Liz nodded.

"Then why won't they let me feel it!" Maria screamed. Maria breathed heavily for a moment. "Maria stop crying. Maria you have to be in control. Maria hide your feelings. Maria just deceive them. Maria don't be so emotional. Maria do you only think of anyone but yourself?" Maria repeated all of the things she had heard over the years from her parents and teachers.

Michael did all he could to remain in the same spot. At the point Maria looked almost crazy. Her physical appearance just added to it.

"I hate them." Maria said softly but evenly. Her eyes traveled down to her arms and she turned her hands over and surveyed the white lines on her wrists, that she had caused to escape all of the scolding she had received. "I'm guess all of you saw that to." Maria said softly, when she looked up no one responded. But it was a given, they had seen her whole life. "If I would have known that I wouldn't have died and I'd have to live with a reminder of it I wouldn't have done it in the first place."

Isabelle straitened and walked slowly towards Maria, she noticed the wary look that came from Maria, and the worried look from Liz. When she reached the bed she kneeled down and reached out to grab Maria hands. Maria tried to pull away but Isabelle snatched her wrists forcefully and pulled them forward. Isabelle ignored the wide eyed look from Maria and looked down to her wrists. Isabelle turned over both hands so that Maria palms where facing up. Both of her thumbs slid from one end of the white lines down to the other end, and they disappeared with the passing of her thumb. Isabelle gently dropped Marias wrist and stepped back. Isabelle tried her best to gage what compelled her to erase the scars on Maria wrists. Maybe it was a move to show there trust, or maybe she was just feeling so sorry for Maria. She knew right away that she had scared the hell out of Maria with it though.

Maria watched everyone cautiously for a moment, and she began to fear now. Because she didn't have a clue as to what was going to happen. To a point everything in her life had been controlled for the most part. Now she was unsure of everything. She was unsure of her future, she was unsure of her friends, she was unsure of what they thought, she was unsure of her parents, and most of all she was unsure of herself. She didn't know who the real her was anymore. Maria backed up on the bed and soon found herself sprawled on the ground. She jumped up and, when she saw Liz move towards her she looked for an out, and the only one she saw was the open window. Maria glanced back at all of them once more then took off towards the window.

"Maria no!" Liz called out.

Maria ignored her friend and jumped through the window, and ran across the roof of the Crashdown. She hopped on the ledge and carefully placed her feet on the steps of the ladder. She looked up only for a moment. Liz had already ducked her head under the window and was getting out with Max right behind her. Maria smiled, and it stopped Liz in her tracks causing Max to run into her. "Did you ever try to jump from a building before? I wonder if you can survive?" And while they stood there shocked, for a moment Maria considered letting go, and just falling, but even with the shity life she had, she couldn't do it. Instead she left them in surprise and fear and hurried down the ladder.

"No!" Liz screamed and ran towards the side of the roof, but when she looked down she didn't see Maria lying on the ground. She looked further out and saw someone running at top speed down the street. She breathed a relieved sigh and turned back to Max. By that time Isabelle and Michael had come outside. "What did you do to her when you made the connection?" Liz tried to keep the blame out of her voice, but Maria was cracking.

Max shook his head. "I don't know. I mean I never assumed that she couldn't handle it. They where her own memories, I knew it might be stressful but I didn't know it could do that."

"She's not going home." Liz said. "Meaning she is going somewhere else, except I have no idea. But leaving her alone is the last thing we should do."

"We split up." Max said decidedly. "You and me go," Max said to Liz then turned to Michael and Isabelle. "And you two go together, but if you find her don't do anything rash. Reliving all of that brought out every painful emotion that she has had to repress over the years. Just find her." Max said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael stood with his back against the door to his apartment, he didn't even

bother to reach his hand over to turn on the lights. It was nicer in the

dark. After 2 hours of searching for Maria the chase was given up. Searching

after midnight would be bound to look suspicious. He let out a defeated sigh

and began to move through his quite apartment. The immediate light that

emanated from the lamp took him by surprise and he spun around quickly. Only

he didn't find what he was expecting. Never would he have expected to find

Maria sitting on his couch holding her knees against her chests. Her chin

rested on her arms, and he could see her eyes burning into him, waiting.

"Maria what are you doing here?"

"I don't know." Maria said softly. "Sitting here."

"No, why are you here in my apartment?" Michael asked more precisely.

Maria cringed at the confrontational tone in his voice, but answered. "I

refuse to go home. And since I just ran from Liz's that was out of the

question. I don't have to many friends anymore."

"What makes you think I am your friend?" Michael asked her. He was going to

push for what he wanted to know.

Maria winced and tried to control the tears that where welling up in her

eyes. "Nothing. I just didn't have anywhere else to go." Maria said softly

and buried her head deeper behind her arms, but she could still see him over

her arms. "And-." Maria stopped unable to force the words passed her mouth.

It made it seem liked she wanted something from him.

"What?" Michael asked evenly. He wanted an answer. "Your here at my

apartment, I want answers."

"I don't know. It just seemed safe here." Maria said softly.

Michael moved over towards Maria slowly, and she didn't try to move, but she

seemed to curl up more as if she was cowering from him. He grabbed her arm

roughly and pulled her up so that she was eye to eye with him. Her weight

hung in mid air, she didn't even try to balance herself. "Look at me."

Michael ordered her. But her eyes where still downcast. "Look at me!" he

yelled angrily.

Maria whimpered and forced herself to look up into his eyes. She had partly

obeyed him because of the angry tone in his voice, and the brutal grip he had

on her arms. Gone now was all of her defenses and tactics of deceiving. She

had been laid out like an open book to the three aliens. And it was by her

own doing.

"How do you feel?" Michael asked through gritted teeth.

Maria winced and bit on her lip and his hands tightened painfully on her

arms.

"Maria answer me!" Michael yelled and shook her.

Maria felt her chin began to quiver and tears begin to form in her eyes.

"Hurt." she said in a small voice.

"And do you like it? That doesn't compare to what you put us through." His

voice was low and angry and when he said the words he had pulled her roughly

against his chest.

"I'm sorry." Maria cried and shook her head. It was all she could think of to

say.

Michael let out an exasperated breath and dropped her on the sofa. He walked

a couple of feet away from the sofa then stopped and turned around. She laid

right where he had dropped her. Michael rubbed his forehead in deep thought.

Everything inside of him was conflicting right now, and it was driving him

crazy. Max could believe the vision, Isabelle could will herself to heal

Marias self inflicted scars. But he couldn't bring himself to any thing that

represented forgiveness or any kind of trust in her. And deep down all he

wanted to do was forget it and hold her. That's how strong his emotions

where. But then there was that voice continuously telling him that she lied

and hurt them.

Once Maria was able to control the crying, she tried to control her emotions.

But it did little. And the only thing she could decide on was that she needed

to be alone. She pushed her weak body up off of the couch and stood up

unsteadily. She only glanced at him, and noticed the cautious gaze that was

on her. Maria let out a shaky sigh and began to move towards the door. Just

as she seemed to be getting close Michael appeared in front of her and

grabbed her by her arms once again. But only with a slight grip this time.

"Where are you going?"

Maria had to force the words from her mouth. "I don't know." And it was the

truth. She had no where she belonged anymore.

Michael felt Marias legs give out beneath her, and the light grip he had on

her arms didn't hold as she felt towards the floor. He quickly wrapped his

arms around her waste and pulling her to his chest. Michael cringed as he

felt her body pressed up against his. He hadn't been able to hold her in so

long, let alone really touch her. He knew she hadn't passed out, because he

could still hear her crying, although muffled by his chest now, but she still

hung there limply. Michael let his arms hang loosely around Maria, afraid to

touch her to much. Michael shut his eyes and winced at the inner battle going

on inside of him. A sigh of resolution escaped his lips and he tightened his

hold on Maria pulling her further up his body.

It hadn't been quite the reaction she had expected. Maria had expected

Michael to allow her to leave. Maybe even something mean as she passed. He

wasn't exactly the guy to go to for comfort, or kind words, he was rather

blunt with his feelings. So that's why when she felt his arms tighten around

her and pull her up she was taken by surprise. But she didn't even dream of

pulling away. She wanted to say something to him, but fear of it pushing him

away stopped her. Being in his arms brought on a familiar feeling. Before

they had taken and her secret was hidden, her relationship with him had been

close and physical. And they could go for just moments holding each other

silently. This reminded her of those few precious moments. Of course they

hadn't held quite so much tension and despair, but it felt comforting still.

"I want to feel yours." Maria said softly.

Michael let go of Maria and stepped back. "What?"

"I want to feel what you felt? Like you saw my life and how it hurt. I want

to see yours." Maria told him evenly.

"No, Maria, I am not going to show you my life. You freaked out enough having

to relive your own." Michael said to her. But she didn't budge, and he could

see the determination on her face.

"No. At least let me see what I did to you." Maria pleaded with him. "I need

to know what I did. I have to feel the pain that I caused. Michael please."

Maria said and stepped towards him.

Michael looked at her cautiously. "You want to feel it don't you?" Michael

asked with realization.

"Michael I did it to you. I have to feel it. Please." Maria said again.

Michael backed away from her but felt the wood of the door connect with his

back. She was starting to scare him. But she seemed to be doing that a lot

lately. "Maria, what the hell is wrong with you." Michael paused only for a

moment. "You think you deserve it don't you? To feel the pain that we felt."

She didn't answer him, but he knew it was the truth. "No, Maria."

"Your mad at me remember? Don't you won't to put me through what you felt?"

Maria asked him, hoping to push him to the point of doing it. Hoping that

when he did that he would believed she had hurt enough.

"No, I already saw your life. You where put through enough Maria."

"No!" Maria yelled. "You have to!" Maria looked at him reassuringly. "That

way then you won't be mad anymore because I will have hurt like you had."

Michael wished he could back up farther. But she practically had him nailed

to the door. It took all that Michael had to tell himself that he was in

control of this situation. Maria was the one losing it right now, not him.

His feet where still planted firmly on the ground. She seemed to be someplace

not here. He stepped away from the door and grabbed her arm gently.

"Maria, no. You are not going to feel anymore. And no matter how much you

think you deserve to feel more pain, I don't think you do." Michael truly

believed it. He had never had any intention of paying Maria back for what she

had done.

"But your still mad." Marias voice cracked hallway though the short statement

but she forced the tears back.

"Of course I'm mad Maria. So what. I get mad all the time, sooner or later

I'll get over it." Michael told her. Michael looked at her deeply for a

moment then spoke. "Maria how do you do this?"

"Do what?" Maria asked and for a moment she was more confused by his question

then anything else happening around her.

"I have seen so many sides of you now I am really starting to get confused."

Michael admitted to her.

"Me to." Maria agreed.

"What do you mean 'you to'? You of all people should know who the real you

is."

"I thought I did. But now, now everything is different. That version of me at

the facility wasn't the real me, at least I hope not. And what you thought of

as me," Maria shook her head sadly, "that was me, but I can't be that person

anymore, everything has changed. And now, now everything seems changed for

the worst. Roswell isn't the same to me, my own house isn't as welcoming, and

I don't know who to trust anymore. I think whatever I was before is changed

now." Maria paused and looked up at him intently. For a moment her unsureness

was gone and she felt more bold. Because she wasn't concentrating on herself

anymore, she was thinking of him. "Are you different? Are you changed?"

Of course he was changed. Maybe not on the outside. He still held the same

cold demeanor. Even more now. But in the inside he was changed. He was no

longer empty searching for home. He was hurt and broken on the inside, and

desperate for anyway to take the pain away. He didn't tell her that though.

Instead he moved past her and took a seat on his sofa.

Maria released a defeated sigh and moved towards the door once again. She

knew this time he wouldn't stop her. And she was almost disappointed. Maria

put little strength into turning the knob, but when it didn't budge she tried

harder, but it still didn't turn. Her hand moved up and tried to move the

chain on the door, but it didn't slide across, which puzzled her even further.

"Don't even bother trying again." Michael said lowly.

Maria turned cautiously towards him. His voice held a dangerous tone and she

wasn't very comfortable with it. "Why?"

"Because I'm not letting you open it." Michael admitted to her. He noticed

the hard look that appeared on her face. Was he going to get a glimpse of

that other side of Maria? The one that held him, Max, and Isabelle.

"Why won't you let me go?" Maria asked evenly, keeping all emotion from her

voice.

"Because I'm not finished with you yet." Michael told her.

Marias body tensed and she could feel the pressure in her jaw and she grinded

her teeth together. "Well, I am. I told you what I had to say. You've said

what you've had to say. There is nothing left to talk about."

"No!" Michael yelled and stood up walked towards her. Once he reached her he

stood tall over her, hoping that he did scare her. "You will not be making

the decisions this time. This time you are not in control."

Marias arms shook as she dug her nails into her palm making a tight fist. "I

hate you!" Maria screamed and began hitting his chest with her fists.

Michael grabbed her wrists and held them up against his chest. "Then why are

you here?"

Maria didn't answer him, instead she continued to glare at him.

"Why are you here Maria?" Michael repeated evenly. "Don't tell me because you

want us to forgive you. You could have went to Max, Max seems a little more

trusting, maybe Isabelle, she healed you. But you came here. Why are you here

Maria?!?"

"Because I had to come here." Maria forced out.

"Why Maria?"

Maria looked down away from his face. "Because I needed you."

"Okay." Michael said simply as he stepped away from her and dropped her

wrists.

Maria watched in surprise as he made his way back over to the couch and sat

down. Anger became renewed inside of her. Anger because he had forced her to

reveal something, yet he just dismissed it. Maria walked towards him and

didn't break contact as they both stared at each other. Once in front of him,

she leaned forward and placed her right hand on his chest pushing him back.

"Your turn."

"I don't think so Maria." Michael said and grabbed her wrists and pushed it

down.

Maria yanked her hand away and slammed it on his chest. "No Mr. Guerin, it's

my turn to ask questions." Maria noticed the cold look that took over his

face as she spoke to him with ease."Your not going to scare me away. It's

time for you to admit a few things, like why the door is still locked and you

won't let me leave."

"Maria." Michael warned ready to use physical force to get her away from him.

"Don't try to threaten me! Answer my question!" Maria yelled and hit him on

the chest with her hand for emphasis. All control she had managed to gain

moments before was gone, and she was acting on pure emotion now. Because the

last few words the escaped her mouth seemed a little weaker and where said

with a cry.

If Michael hadn't been staring so hard at her, he would have missed the extra

shine that was in her eyes. But the strained tone of her voice was hard to

miss. "Because," Michael paused for a moment trying to gain some kind of

courage, "because I didn't want you to go."

Maria pulled her hand away from his slowly and fell onto the couch next to

him. She tried to look out of the corner of her eyes at him, but her vision

was becoming blurry. Maria blinked and could feel the wetness traveling down

her cheek. Her vision began to clear as the excess water ran down her face,

and she could see him sitting there stiff looking strait ahead. But after a

moment he sighed and his shoulders slumped. His head followed in the defeated

stance and dropped down. Maria looked away and looked down at the floor,

concentrating on any crack she could find. She jumped at the sound of a click

and something sliding. Immediately, she looked up at the door, and noticed

the chain swinging lifelessly. But she didn't move. She didn't dare move.

"You can go." Michael said softly with a little bit of hurt in his voice.

"I know." Maria responded, but shit didn't move.

Michael sat there silently, waiting for her to move. Moments passed and she

still didn't budge. He watched her through the corner of his eyes and saw the

slight jumping of her shoulders as she cried silently with her head down.

Michael looked ahead and squeezed his eyes shut as a turmoil of emotions took

over him. Unsurely he lifted up his left arm and wrapped it around her

shoulders pulling her near him.

Maria didn't even stop to think as she felt herself come in contact with

Michael. She immediately curled up and laid her head on his chest. Maria felt

the warm breath coming from Michael, and her eyes shut as she felt his lips

leave a tender kiss on her forehead. She didn't dare move now, and she clung

to his shirt in fear that she would be ripped away from him. Michael didn't

release her either, he kept his arm wrapped firmly around. It was the first

time in what seemed her whole life that her future seemed the least bit

brighter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End.