Once and Again and Later

February 15, 2001 ... When the network suits get all hot and bothered about "Sweeps" programming, I normally cringe. Men in ivory towers make last minute adjustments to viewing schedules that screw up VCR "repeat record" functions and play havoc with TIVO. Case in point: ABC, feeling the need for greed, thinks we all need some more Regis time this month, so they are sending Sela Ward and Billy Campbell out for a stroll on February 28 in order to make me realize how close I am to a million bucks when I watch a special 10:00pm edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. I want to be one -- but at what price? Would some heavy pocket change be better than a healthy lust for Sela Ward? Well, maybe. But I can see Regis in the morning or on talk shows; or on magazine covers; or in my dreams of financial freedom as he plays poker with Ed McMahon and laughs about all of the Publishers Clearing House entry receipts that I have piled up somewhere in a little memento box. Either give me Sela on the 28th, or send someone over who can change my "repeat record" function on the VCR. A taped Regis would be brutal punishment for being a tech wimp.__TVNow.com