Episode 4 starts with Jamie and Kelley on the porch talking and playing a game of chess. Jamie asks Kelley if she is a relationship person, meaning the type of person who would be married and settled by 22 years old. Kelley tells him absolutely not and admits that she can not stay long in relationships, but she feels that she is at the point of her life to stop doing that.....in other words, she is hinting to Jamie that if he is ready to get into a relationship, then she would be, too. Kelley then asks Jamie if he is a relationship type of person, and he says yes, that he is very adverse to marriage and relationships. In the confessional, he says that Kelley is very beautiful and that he is attracted to her. He thinks that she possibly is attracted to him, also. He tells Kelley that there are many types of women: Either you don't know them or they want to be in a relationship with you or they want to be married. He explains that there is a whole spectrum in between that. Like just hanging out as friends and hooking up every once in a while. He admits that if he met a woman who rocked his world, he would be singing off a different sheet of music. MTV takes advantage of this and turns the camera to Kelley's face, which gives the impression that she would love to be that woman.
Next we see Melissa and Jamie(he gets around, doesn't he?) sitting by the computer. In the confessional, Melissa says that she is really attracted to Jamie and finds him very sexually. I am going to have to break out the calculator in a minute to keep up with all the guys that our drama queen finds sexually attractive. Melissa asks Jamie what is wrong with him because he doesn't have a girlfriend. Jamie laughs and says he has had girlfriends, "but you know...." and Melissa finishes his sentence by saying, "You just don't have time for those hoes" and Jamie says, "basically." Ok!! In the confessional, Jamie says that he has started up a web site for extreme sports. (what this has to do with the cost of tea in China, I don't know, but I figured it meant he didn't have time for those hoes *sigh*) He tells Melissa that out of a 24 hour day, he doesn't have time for that commitment.
Ok, we have Melissa and Kelley sitting on the couch watching Jamie and David on the computer. Melissa sighs and says, "Damn, he is cute." What is funny about this is that if David would have heard that, he would have sworn that she was talking about him, you know, with him being a playa and all. Butttttt, our lil drama queen was talking about Jamie. She says one of the cute things about him is that he is so unavailable. Melissa says that Jamie doesn't have time for girls; he only has time for his palm pilot, cell phone, and dot com's. Kelley tells Melissa that Jamie thinks Melissa is cute, too. Now, what game is Kelley playing?? Is she saying that because she believes Jamie feels like that, or is she saying that to sum up the competition's reaction? I vote for the latter. Melissa doesn't believe it and says that she is a tootsie roll to Jamie's godiva; she is three for a dollar, and he is priceless. (when this girl is not being so annoying, she is really funny.) Kelley tells Melissa that she wishes that she could be more like her: Open with her feelings and saying what is on her mind. Melissa tells Kelley that she(Melissa) likes to own her feelings. I think Kelley gets a little annoyed with Melissa when she says that, and she tells Melissa, "Congratulations, I own my feelings, I just don't like to share them." Testy, testy. The tension is there. In the confessional, Melissa says that both her and Kelley are sexual attracted to Jamie, but she is the only one bold enough to be loud about them.
Melissa and Julie leave to go for a walk. Melissa tells Julie the only reason she had to get Julie out of the house is because she has been with boys all day and they are so annoying. Julie says she loves boys, and Melissa says they are grossing her out. (Modern day Freaky Friday, huh?) Melissa tells Julie that she(Julie) doesn't just love any ole boy, she loves Matt. Julie admits that she likes Matt a lot, but she feels from the vibes she gets from him, that she is not his type. Melissa disagrees and tells Julie that they are "so each other's type" and that they are both innocent and sweet. Julie says she is not objecting to that, but she just doesn't see it. Ummm, Julie, Ray Charles, on a dark night, during a total eclipse can see that you and Matt are two of a kind. In the confessional, she says that Matt is her type(I guess that's why they call it confessional) of person that she would like to know biblically(Ohhhh, bad girl!!!!) but then she says, "Just Kidding" Good save, Julie, I bet you fooled your mom and dad and your school with that sincere, "Just Kidding" *smirk*
Jamie and Kelley are sitting around talking and Jamie says that he is a firm believer in pushing yourself physically because you learn a lot about yourself mentally. Kelley asks him has he ever been sky diving and he says no he hasn't, and Danny (didn't see him there washing his hands) says he can't believe that Jamie never been skydiving and Kelley is excited that they found something Jamie hasn't done, and her and Danny give each other a pound(high-five). Jamie says that maybe they should all go. Kelley asks Jamie about bungee jumping, and Danny admits that there is a part of him that wants to do that stuff. Jamie tells them that he owns his own bungee cord, and Danny kind of smirks and says, "Of course" (I love this boy) Kelley is still firing the questions at Jamie and asks him about mountain biking. Jamie says that he started this club at school for mountain biking. (Danny didn't say it again, but I will help my friend Danny out by saying, "Of Course.") In the confessional, Kelley says that Jamie makes her feel like she hasn't done ANYTHING. Later, Kelley is in the room telling Melissa and Julie about how Jamie. "He makes me feel like I haven't done anything; every time when I say have you done that, he says, "yes, and I own the company." (she is a funny chick, too) Melissa says that if Kelley thinks that she feels like that, what about her(Melissa)? "I thought I was going to China, instead I went to the waffle house," Melissa says. Ok, I hope they are not going to get into a competition on who has done the least. Melissa admits to them that she is carnally(sexually) interested in Jamie, and when she sees him, she wants to pour barbecue sauce on him and work him like a rib... "He is beautiful, just beautiful." Melissa says. Kelley, playing the uninterested woman to a hilt says, "He's all right." In the confessional, Julie says that she is intrigued with Kelley and Jamie's relationship. She feels Kelley has more in common with Jamie than she(Kelley) is willing to admit. Julie asks Kelley if she likes Jamie, and Kelley says that she is attracted to him, and that he is not bad on the eyes, but she doesn't feel they have much to talk about. Ok, Kelley, since you never said that you were attracted to his intellect or his stunning personality, and all you said was that you were physically attracted to him.....What's there to talk about???
At the club (Clubbing all the time must be a Real World requirement) Melissa is once again backing that thang up, but this time instead of David, her victim is Jamie. In the confessional, Jamie admits that he is attracted to Melissa(and in next week's confessional, he will admit he is attracted to Matt, too, I guess, since he is working his attraction through the house) but that he is very conscious on acting on that attraction because he doesn't want to mess up the dynamic of the relationship. Next we see Kelley bouncing all over Jamie. In the confessional, she says that Jamie is incredibly hot, and after having a few drinks, she notices that more. She says her brain doesn't want to be attracted to him, but he is very hot. (It's not your brain that you need to be worried about, honey) She says there is an attraction, but she believes that he is hiding something. (How about the fact that he has admitted in 15 minutes that he is attracted to both you and Ms. Drama, is that enough hiding for you, Kelley?) In the confessional, Jamie says Kelley is the forbidden fruit, and adding the physical element would add complexity to the situation that is not needed at this time. Living with a girl who might be in to you is hard, but I am going to go to bed alone, he says. (Forbidden fruit?? Goodness, she isn't your cousin, Jamie...stop being so dramatic) Later you see Kelley kissing Jamie's fingertips, and in the confessional, Danny says that this has got to be the most sexually charged situation he has ever lived in. Speaking of which, what happened to his boyfriend, Paul? One blocked image of his face is all we got, and that was it.
Later, Melissa and Kelley are on the couch talking. Melissa says that if you put 7 attractive people in the house, everybody is going to want to hook up. Melissa tells Kelley that she hopes that Jamie doesn't become this competition thing between them. "Oh, my God, no" Kelley says. (uh huh) Kelley says she doesn't feel like it is a competitive thing. If Melissa hooks up with him, Good...If Kelley hooks up with him, fine.(what Kelley really wanted to say is "If I hook up with him, EVEN BETTER.) In the confessional, Melissa says it would be for the best if nobody in the house hooked up. It would spare a lot of hurt feelings. Melissa says that she is still believing that Jamie is unattainable. In the confessional, Kelley starts off by saying, "If I WON at Jamie..." then she realizes her error, and covers her mouth and laughs. So much for the "No competition thing" Huh, Kelley? Kelley tells Melissa that she is not competing YET, but she doesn't know what is going to happen later. In other words, Melissa you better pull out all the tricks out of your playa bag, because Kelley is out to getcha. Melissa starts off saying, "His whole life...." then you hear rattling, and who do we see but the man of the hour himself, Jamie. Melissa finishes her sentence by saying, "Non-romance" and Kelley says, "I agree." Now, I wonder how long Jamie has been creeping around, but you can tell by the look on his face that he knows he is the center of this conversation. Both Melissa and Kelley get this dumb sheepish, "hand caught in the cookie jar" looks. After Jamie walks out of the room, they go right back to talking about him. Melissa says that he such a topic all the time and Kelley says, "I know, I know, I know." "Break the cycle," Kelley tells Melissa. Kelley decides that they need to go out and meet new people, and Melissa agrees by saying, "Yes, get our own boys." Kelley tells Melissa that the whole situation is retarded, but that Melissa now has some competition. Melissa tells Kelley that she knows she(Kelley) is competition) and Kelley says that she was just teasing. Don't believe her, Melissa, dig deep into that playa bag like I told you!!
Jamie is on the phone with his friend, Jeff. Evidently, Jamie has been bragging on the fact that he has these two women acting like fools over him. Jeff says that if Jamie can have some discipline and not mess around with one single women in four months, it would pay off. (how about two single women, Jeff?) Jamie says that is like the last temptation of Christ. Later Julie, who evidently was doing so eavesdropping, tells Kelley that she heard Jamie on the phone telling Jeff that he hasn't hooked up with anybody in the house because he hasn't put the energy in to it. Julie says when she heard him, she couldn't believe he said that. Kelley says that she could easily be drawn into a situation with Jamie, but she would get hurt because she cares. She feels that if she was going to date or make out("get busy" for all you younger readers, since make out is 1950ish) then eventually emotions would be there. Kelley feels that from what Jamie has told her, he just doesn't care.
In a bar(surprise), Kelley and Melissa are sitting down while Jamie is rubbing his butt in Melissa's face. (It must be love) In the confessional, Kelley says that she hasn't seen to many guys that were her type. But she looked over in the bar and pointed out to Melissa a "hot" guy. She tells Melissa that she wants to go over and talk to him. And Melissa in her normal louder than life voice says, "Which one??" Kelley asks Jamie to watch her purse or her coat or something while she shows Melissa this hot boy. Does Jamie look a little irritated or is it just me? Anyway, in the confessional, Kelley says that this "hot" boy would probably be stupid, but at least he looks good. So much for standards. She goes to talk to him and she says that he is not stupid, he is really smart. The camera shows Jamie looking over at them. Kelley comes back over and asks Melissa, "Wasn't he cute." and Jamie mumbles something, I believe he said, "Who" but I can't tell because he had his mouth full. Kelley says, "This boy" and Jamie says to him, "Don't you want a man." Uh oh. Melissa of course calls this boy-man beautiful. Kelley says that this boy-man is a second year resident for an E.R doctor, a surfer, has traveled all over the world, In other words, he has done as much s*** as you, Jamie, if not more...that's the point Kelley was trying to make. Jamie gave a sarcastic smile. Kelley and Peter(boy-man) go out to have a couple of drinks, or should I say in Kelley's case, a couple more drinks. You hear her saying she is very small and laughing. Now, I don't know what she is talking about, but she is looking down at her chest, so I guess I can assume she is talking about her breasts. In the confessional, she says that Peter is the type of person that she would love to spend time with, whether it be romantic or not. She says that they have a lot in common. Kelley tells Peter that she likes him,umm, like as in friends, and you see Peter writing down something(his number maybe).
Later at the mansion, Julie asks Kelley did she meet a man last night, and Melissa answers for Kelley and says, "He was beautiful, and smart." Julie says, "You got to love those Med students." Julie goes on to talk about Peter's description, "Ok, so he has dark hair, well-traveled, and has money?" Kelley says he doesn't have money yet, and Julie says, "Oh, he will." Julie tells Kelley that Peter sounds a lot like somebody in the house.(Jamie) Melissa says if he sounds like anybody in the house, he is everything, but retarded. Melissa says Jamie is just as retarded as her. And Julie tells Melissa that her(Melissa) and Jamie are like two peas in a pod. Jamie pops his head in the room(Ok, he is definitely eavesdropping)and Julie says, "Hey gorgeous" and Jamie says, "Just saying morning" and gives off this stupid giggle. His fan club laughs like he did something extremely funny.
Jamie and Melissa are sitting at the computer and Melissa is acting like she is talking to a stock broker on the phone. Jamie is getting a kick out of her act. In the confessional, Jamie says that he never experienced the kind of relationship he has with Melissa: being friends with a girl. In the confessional, David(hey, where's he been???) says that he doesn't know what's going on, but Melissa and Jamie are as close as can be. He says it is cool, but they are the most unlikely couple. He says they are like Don King and Martha Stewart. (what is David's thing with Martha Stewart?? If you remember back when they first moved in the house, he said it looked like Busta Rhythms and Martha Stewart designed it...What's up with that, David? a Little Obsession with ole Martha??)
Kelley is talking on the phone with Peter, and she tells him that she didn't think he was going to call. She tells him that her, Melissa, Julie and her friend Anthony are going to put on this drag show for the Chinese New Year. Peter asks her if she is going to dress up as a guy, and she says no, but they are going to be dancing on the stage with a drag queen. She tells him that she will put him on the guest list. Kelley is happy that Peter wants to come see the show. Matt and Julie are shooting pool and Matt asks Julie if her fashion show is tonight. Julie tells him yes, and wants to know if he wants to come. Matt says, "What makes you think I want to be there 2 in the morning??" Julie says, "Why wouldn't you be? There is going to be a man there in full drag with dragon scales on him." Matt tells Julie he hates drag queens. In the confessional, says they are going to have on wigs and get there face painted. Julie tells Matt that it is going to be fun, and when Matt doesn't respond, Julie says, "Well, not fun watching all the drag queens" Julie, why don't you have an opinion of your own? I didn't like the fact she felt the need to defend herself for wanting to go to the show to Matt. Matt said drag queens are nothing but really messed up clowns. In the confessional, Julie says that she feels she is always up to bat, while Matt is always on the bleachers. Julie tells Matt that he should come because her and Kelley are going to put on an excellent performance. Matt says, "I thought Melissa was in it, too." and Julie says, "Yes, she is, but she is not going to be good." Ok, she didn't say that, but it's funny how she forgot Melissa was in the show. Actually what she said was, "AND Melissa." Melissa and Kelley come in the front door and Melissa is sporting a new short haircut. (it really is very cute) Julie is excited and tells Melissa her hair looks hot. Melissa thought Julie was going to hate it, but Julie loves it. Jamie also tells her she looks good.
At the club, you see Melissa, Julie, and Kelley getting their faces made up for the show. Melissa says she is scared. Kelley tells her they are going to do great. They all look like drag queens, even though Kelley's friend Anthony is the only man. They go on stage and basically do nothing but walk around. In the confessional, Melissa says that she is being forced to put away all her attitude and act like a docile chinese doll(what she is dressed up as) In the confessional, Julie says that she realizes that this is art to Anthony, and that there is nothing disgusting about it. She said it went back to the"Julie thrown into another situation; look how she deals with it." Julie, Kelley and Melissa hug after the show and congratulate each other. Julie goes to hug Matt, who she is surprised even came to see the show. Jamie comes into the club and Danny tells him he saw him all up and down the street, being all down and dirty. Jamie snaps his fingers and says, "Never" Kelley tells Danny that Jamie was making out with some girl in the bathroom. Danny says he saw Jamie making out with some sorority chick outside and he saw him making out with some girl in the club. Kelley asks Peter how the show was, and he said it was pretty good, even though Kelley called it cheesy. In the confessional she says that she really likes Peter. Julie asks Kelley if she is going to catch a ride home with them, and she says, no, she is going to get a ride home with Peter.(or did she say she was going to ride him home? I don't know)
The next morning, you hear Danny saying to Julie, "You are certain she hasn't been back yet??" And Julie says, "Absolutely because I looked at her bed, and it is in the exact condition it was in last night." So as you can guess, Kelley did not come home. Danny says, "That lil Hootchie Momma" (Why do I love this guy???) Julie says, " She should be sleeping with this Peter guy" Julie, stop jumping to conclusions...I know you are naive, but staying out all night does not mean you got busy...opps, I mean, "made out". Melissa answers a phone in her towel(I guess nobody else heard it) and it is Kelley. Kelley says that she didn't want anybody to worry and that she was ok. Melissa is like, "Oh, you are not here??"(You can see how worried she was) Kelley says, "No" and Melissa laughs and asks her where she is. Kelley says she just came and stayed here(at Peter's) and that they got trapped at the bar. Melissa asks her has she washed off her make up, and Kelley tells her no, she still has everything on. Kelley comes home and her and Melissa are talking. Kelley says she doesn't want to jump the gun because she hasn't known Peter that long, and Melissa says that he is unbelievably too good to be true and Kelley agrees. Kelley says that there has to be a catch to Peter. That something has to be wrong. Kelley and Melissa go on to name all the things that are good about Peter. Kelley says that he even has a clean bathroom and his toilet seat was down. Melissa says that there is definitely something wrong with him. In the confessional, Kelley says that the "catch" is that Peter has a girlfriend, but she doesn't live in the same town. Later, Julie, Jamie, Melissa, and Kelley are sitting around in the kitchen and everybody is looking at each other. Kelley wants Jamie to tell her about him making out with every girl on Bourbon Street. Jamie acts like he doesn't know what she is talking about. Melissa says he was making out with "the yellow shirt girl" who looked about 45, but she said she was 20(Opps, pull those claws in, Melissa, girl) Jamie says that she was 20. Melissa goes on to say she had fake hoo-hahs(boobs) Kelley said, "Oh, she had some silicone kicking?" and Melissa says, "Yes, and Jamie went digging in the Silicone Valley." They all laugh. Kelley asks him did he find anything good, and Jamie starts singing that he is not listening to them. In the confessional, Jamie feels he has to watch his step around other women when he is around Melissa and Kelley because when he starts talking to another girl, they start ragging on him. Kelley asks him, "Since you kiss people you find attractive, would you be against kissing people in this house?" You can see Melissa sitting on the edge of her seat. Jamie says, "I am not against kissing anybody." Kelley says, "How about on a regular basis?" and before Jamie can answer, Kelley asks him, "Would it be just about fun and physicality, or would there be an option for depth?" (Hurry and answer, Jamie, before she asks you something else) Jamie says that there is a definite option for depth, but he has never been in a relationship like that. Kelley tells him because he hasn't wanted that kind of depth, and Jamie agrees. He says he has so many other things on his plate. In the confessional, Kelley says that she gets gratification out of watching Jamie turn into a bowl of Jell-O due to feminine wiles. Julie, who hasn't said one word during this exchange, says to Kelley, "Since we are talking about terribly personal things, can I ask you something?" Kelley says sure. Julie asks her did she have sex with Peter last night. And Kelley says no, she has only known him for three days. "Do you think I am some kind of whore?" Kelley asks Julie. Julie says no, and starts to stutter out her reason for asking Kelley that. Since she has no reason, she admits there is no basis to her questioning.(by the way, I know that Julie doesn't drink, but in this scene she looks very hungover.) In the confessional, Kelley says because it was Julie who asks her that question, she gave her a little slack. I guess she figured since Julie walks around acting like she knows nothing about anything at times, she didn't want to tell her off. Later in the room, Kelley tells Julie that she thinks she(Julie) is pretty stupid for assuming and Julie agrees. Kelley tells Julie that she appreciates her asking instead of just assuming. Julie says she is glad she asked Kelley, but she should have asked in a better way. (How about this: "You went out to the bar as a girl, did you by any chance return home as a woman?" How do you ask somebody if they slept with somebody in the "right" way??)
Melissa is in the cabinet looking for a game. Jamie asks her did she want to take a bubble bath, and I swear her panties must have fell off by how quick she answered, "Ok" She grabs the bubble bath and heads for the hot tub. In the confessional, Melissa says that the way she deals with a sexual attraction is to be loud about it and joke about it. Melissa and Jamie are in the hot tub and she is complaining that he got soap in her ear. Jamie reaches for Melissa and gives her a kiss. Melissa is all smiles. She tells Jamie that the kiss was "bootylicious" In the confessional, Jamie says he likes Melissa because she is raw and very blunt. Kelley and Julie are talking in the room and Kelley is telling Julie that Jamie is an attractive person and he has a certain charm about him, but for her it would not be a good combination. She says maybe in two months she will feel different. Julie is sitting there with this "uh duh" look on her face like she has absolutely no clue what Kelley is talking about. Back in the hot tub, Melissa says her web site is "Jamie is my favorite in the whole wide world.com. The episode ends with them playing in the hot tub. While the credits roll, Melissa and Jamie are running around playing. Jamie has on a Kilt and evidently has on no boxers or underwear (he is drawer-less). Melissa is trying her best to see, what Jamie calls, his twig and berries.
Ok, nobody really got on my nerves too bad this episode, but Julie got an honorary "get on my nerves" award. I know I am probably being too harsh on her, but her naïveté can get a little annoying at times.
Until next time......