Author: Becky

Summary: An unexpected twist to a new case forces Lee and Amanda to face the repercussions of old mistakes on their own personal relationship.

Time: Between Stemwinder and Night Crawler.

Disclaimer: The characters of the original show belong to Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. The other characters and the story are mine. References have been made to or dialogue used from the following episodes : SAVED BY THE BELL by Dean Hargrove & Joel Steiger, BURNOUT by Lisa Seidman, REMEMBERANCE OF THINGS PAST by Brad Bucker & Eugenie Ross-Leming, A LOVELY LITTLE AFFAIR by Kathleen A. Shelley and SPIDERWEB by March Kessler. This was written for entertainment purposes only and not profit. Please do not reproduce without the author’s permission.

Archive: Robin’s site

Author’s note: I would like to thank my betas for sticking with me since this story was started last August. It turned out much longer than I had ever imagined, and they were very patient with all my rewrites.

Italian phrases:
‘la mia amica’ – my friend
‘Tu sei piu bellisima che ho ricordato.’ – You are more beautiful than I remember.
‘Ti ho pensata spesso.’ – I have thought of you often.
‘Belle mia’ – my beautiful one
 
 
 

INTRODUCTION

Sunday evening- Somewhere in Georgetown, DC.

Streetlights cast a pale glow onto the quiet Georgetown street. A warm autumn breeze whispered playful suggestions to a lone couple slowly strolling down its softly lit pathway, and a pair of entrancing hazel eyes reflected uncharacteristic contentment.

As Lee Stetson’s well-trained senses took in the evening’s nuances, he wondered if they were the reason the feminine hand clasped in his was so intoxicating. A quick smile graced his lips as he instantly recognized a wrong conclusion. No, it was the influence of the hand’s owner that heightened his awareness of the evening’s subtleties.

He loved her. His active dating history hadn’t left many "firsts" for them to share, but one of the most important was hers and hers alone. A warmth filled him that had nothing to do with the evening breeze. It was the realization that those three simple words, once so hard to admit much less say, now flowed so freely and easily towards his companion.

It was one of many ways her presence had changed his life for the better. He knew his newfound desire for a committed relationship lay not within himself, but rather in the gentle ways she tenderly completed the circle of their mutual affection. For the first time since the death of his parents, he had a place, and that place was by her side.

A gentle squeeze to his hand brought him out of his reverie. He turned his head slightly and focused on a pair of compelling brown eyes. "Enjoy the evening?" he asked softly as he moved closer to her.

"Uh huh," Amanda breathed as she responded instinctively and helped close the gap. "The food was delicious. The wine was perfect. The company extremely charming." She paused briefly before adding, "and the waitress entertaining."

"What waitress?" His attempted innocence floundered in the wake of a direct sideways glance.

"The one who ignored me and stopped just short of hand stands to get your attention." The brown eyes changed to a gleam of resigned acceptance as she gave him a teasing but perceptive grin.

"That obvious?" Lee grimaced. In the past, he had enjoyed unsolicited attention from women. Now, it was an intrusion into the rare private outings they managed to eke out of their demanding schedules.

"Only to a blind man," Amanda laughed. Then clasping the inside of his elbow with her free hand she drew him closer, giving him the physical assurance he needed while her words lifted his spirits and soothed away his concerns. "But you behaved admirably… attentive to me and pleasant but aloof to her …a perfect gentleman."

Lee smiled gratefully at her gracious response to the incident. Had the tables been turned, he knew he wouldn’t have dealt with tonight’s situation nearly as well.

Stepping into the inviting shadow of a large oak, he guided her into his arms. Slowly he lowered his head and gently touched his nose to hers. "Being attentive to you is my favorite pastime," he whispered invitingly as he continued his descent to her lips.

Amanda responded with anticipation as Lee’s slow kiss ended only to return with a deeper intensity. Her arms and hands automatically closed around him as her form melted to his.

"So," Lee suggested as he slightly broke the embrace and nuzzled her forehead, "do I get points for tonight’s good behavior?"

Amanda smiled first into his shirt and then up at him, "Since when are we on a point system?"

"Since I’ve thought of all the intriguing ways you can reward me when I cash them in," he smiled devilishly.

Amanda shook her head, "You’re impossible."

"Nah, just charmingly persistent."

"Dangerously so," Amanda mused as she reluctantly disengaged herself and directed them towards her car. Leaning against it, she tried unsuccessfully to distance herself from his physical attractiveness. Giving him a bemused look, she stated, "When Joe and I were dating my mother’s motto was ‘Good behavior is its own reward.’ However," her lips twitched at his expression’s hint of heightened interest, "with you she’d probably say, ‘Go for it, Amanda. You only live once.’"

Lee laughed out loud at her rueful expression. "So… when do I officially meet this insightful woman?" Pulling her towards him, the amusement in his eyes changed to tenderness as his voice took on a gentle sincerity. "Most of the women I’ve dated haven’t wanted much more from me than a good time." His hands locked together behind her waist. "But the one who’s expected the most has made me the happiest. It’s a part of you…" His lips became a mischievous grin right before grazing hers lightly, "and you have some pretty nice parts."

Blushing, Amanda averted her eyes from his twinkling ones as she cleared her throat and fought for composure. "I’ll remind you of that next time we’re snuggled on your couch, and it isn’t necessary to light a fire because of all the heat you’re giving off."

A short time later, Amanda lay in bed gazing at her window. She smiled as she remembered the times Lee had used it instead of a door. Her fingers still tingled at the memory of their hands reluctantly parting the night he warned her about Franco Necci. His later words "I love you. I have for a very long time…" still echoed in the quietness. They had given her hope and strength in a desperate situation.

Nestling deeper into her pillow, she wished it were his arms instead of blankets that now gave her warmth and silently marveled at his ability to make her feel like a teenager in love for the very first time. For a fleeting moment the thought cast a shadow across her features before she sighed contentedly and drifted off to sleep.
 
 

CHAPTER 1

Monday morning – Q-Bureau

"Morning, Beautiful"

Amanda closed the Q-Bureau’s refrigerator door as Lee’s strong hands encircled her waist. "Hi, yourself," she replied turning and stretching up slightly for his kiss.

"Hmm, that’s one of the things I like about you," he admitted softly.

"What’s that?" Amanda smiled back.

"You’re tall," he stated matter-of-factly. "It makes stealing kisses so much easier."

"Well, now that is important," she confirmed with mock seriousness. "And so is a locked door. Did you remember?"

Lee rolled his eyes and moved away. "Locked doors, secret rendezvous, cover ups. Since when did my love life start to sound like my job?" His voice trailed off as Francine burst into the room.

"Don’t know, and not interested. " she smirked brightly. "Especially after last night." Then looking innocently over at Amanda, she added, "but your partner might enjoy doing a comparative analysis."

"Good morning to you too, Francine," Amanda sighed. "You’re in an unusually cheerful mood."

"You would be too if you had just spent a wonderful evening with a rich, drop dead gorgeous man who is a perfect gentleman with impeccable manners, and," she paused triumphantly, "he was your assignment for the rest of the week."

Scenes of the previous evening flashed through Amanda’s mind as she murmured, "Three out of four isn’t bad."

Francine looked at her quizzically, and Lee feigned a cough to try and hide his grin. Failing, he directed a dazzling smile towards Francine. "Uh, weren’t you supposed to spend the evening showing the Spanish ambassador around D.C.? You know, the old short, bald guy."

Francine rolled her eyes and grimaced. "Yes, but fortunately that changed, something about a bullfight of national importance. Beeman gets that privilege tonight." she finished smugly. "Does the name Arch Angel ring any bells?"

Lee’s eyes grew wide. "Arch Angel? He’s here?"

"He sure is." Francine beamed. "Oh, and…"

"Wait a minute," Amanda interrupted. "Who’s Arch Angel?’

"Someone with strong ties to the intelligence community." Lee began explaining. "He has business interests all over the world and lets us use his various resources to move people or information. He stays mostly in the background. Very few people know his real identity, and most of his involvement has been with the CIA."

Turning back to Francine, he asked, "So why is he here, and why were you having dinner with him?"

"I was the initial Agency contact. He’s attending the reception the Italian ambassador is giving for our new ambassador to Italy. Turns out he has close ties to both men. There have been several kidnappings lately of prominent European businessmen, and it’s rumored to be the work of a newly organized branch of Red February."

Lee frowned. "So why is he with us? Doesn’t the CIA usually take care of his personal security?"

"That’s why Billy wants us in the bullpen in fifteen minutes," Francine stated before turning to Amanda. "Oh and, Amanda, dear, try not to take any attention he gives you too personally. He does have a way of making you feel like you’re the only one in the room worth his time." She gave an exaggerated sigh. "Last night was bella serata."

"Yeah," Amanda smiled as she gave Lee a surreptitious glance, "beautiful evenings are nice."

Off Lee and Francine’s surprised looks, she shrugged her shoulders. "I had an Italian friend. He taught me a few phrases."

"Hmmm… how nice." Francine commented, her smile not quite making it to her eyes. Catching herself, she glanced at her watch. "Have to run. Just came up here to let you know about the meeting. His staff should be arriving just about now, and I’m supposed to greet them."

Watching Francine exit the room in a cloud of assumed importance, Amanda looked sideways at Lee and chuckled. "I hope his security staff can guard him against Francine."

Leaning back on his desk, Lee folded his arms trying to appear nonchalant. "I didn’t know you dated an Italian exchange student."

"Whatsamatter, Scarecrow, something about me those background checks didn’t turn up?" she teased sitting down behind her desk. "And I didn’t say I dated him. I said I had an Italian friend who taught me a few phrases."

"Well, you must have spent a good deal of time together not dating for you to still remember what he taught you."

Amanda shook her head in amusement at Lee’s trouble in dealing with her interest in any other man no matter how far back the relationship went.

Knowing she could either deal with his curiosity now or later, she folded her hands on her desk and started. "Okay, so we did date my last year of high school and first year of college…before I met Joe." For a moment she watched him digest the length of dating time. Then she picked up a pencil and studied it intensely with her fingers. "It was a long time ago and a different life."

Lee’s eyes darkened and slightly hardened as his jealous ears caught a softness and maybe a touch of regret as she finished the sentence. They had worked together too long for him not to know when she was avoiding talking about something. Good manners told him to back off, but insecurity egged him on. "Sounds like he was someone special."

"Yeah, he was," she acknowledged with a characteristic sideways tip of her head. "We met at a inter-high school drama club production. They were doing Romeo and Juliet and of course, with his Italian accent, Mac was a shoe in for Romeo."

"Wait a minute," Lee interrupted. "An Italian exchange student named Mac?"

"You said he was an exchange student not me," she pointed out. "He was born in Italy, and the family moved here when he was twelve. He hated the name Alfanso so he went by his initials M A C, Mac."

"Wise move," Lee grimaced in agreement.

Brightness returned to her eyes as she raised her eyebrows and nodded her agreement. "Anyway, I ended up helping him study his lines during practice, and one thing just led to another."

"Let me guess," Lee grumbled. "You were Juliet."

"No, that part went to the daughter of the director’s second cousin." Laughing she added, "She couldn’t remember her lines, but she had the right connections. Her understudy got a lot of stage time."

Lee relaxed slightly, but his features didn’t soften.

"No," she continued. "I wanted to work with scenery and costumes." Her fingers played thoughtfully with a pencil. "Mother and Daddy thought he was wonderful. His parents traveled on business, so he spent a lot of time at our house." She stopped for a moment, and Lee saw her drift to another time. "He loved Mother’s oatmeal cinnamon raisin cookies. Called them an American delicacy."

Intrigued by how this guy could have let Amanda and her family slip through his fingers, Lee let his curiosity get the better of him. "What happened?"

A pained look crossed her face as she rose from her seat and gathered up a pen and notebook. "He died in a boating accident. His parents had moved back to Italy, and he went for a summer visit. His family asked the Italian consulate to send someone over to tell us." She paused and studied the far wall. "I’ll never forget my parents calling me from my room. The grief on their faces… "

Lee mentally chastised himself for his "need to know." "I’m sorry, Amanda. I…"

Shrugging her shoulders, she gave him a thoughtful look. "It was a long time ago. I haven’t thought about him for quite some time." Watching her closely, Lee saw a perceptive expression cross her face. "I nearly said something when I learned you had cared about Eva and then were unexpectedly told she was dead." She paused and tilted her head slightly. "I just didn’t know how. I wasn’t sure...."

"Hey, it’s okay," Lee soothed as he moved to her side and caressed her shoulders. "You were still there for me." He gave her a heart-melting smile touched with regret. "Noticing things I didn’t want to see and watching my backside like no one else can."

She looked up with a sly smile. "It’s my favorite type of surveillance work."

Lee burst out laughing and pulled her close. Her understated sexiness popped up at the most surprising times, more often than not, when there wasn’t enough privacy for him to capitalize on her mood. It was one of the many things about Amanda King that left him wanting more.

Drawing back slightly, he kissed her forehead. "You know, a very wise person once told me that talking about stuff sometimes makes you feel better." They shared a grin. "So if you ever want to…"

"We’ll meet on your couch with a bottle of wine and talk it over." She started to reach up for a kiss, but instead jumped back wide-eyed as someone pounded on the door.

Before they could respond, Ephram Beeman opened the door and strode briskly into the office. "Mrs. King, I need to see you about tomorrow’s class."

"We have a meeting in the bullpen," Lee barked, "and this is a private office. Does ‘come in’ mean anything to you?"

"Sorry. Didn’t realize entrance to the Q-Bureau was by invitation only." Beeman threw him a tolerant glance. "This won’t take very long. I’ll have her back to you in no time."

Amanda quickly stepped between the two men and looked at Lee. "You go on. I’ll be there in a minute."

Nodding, but still glaring at the offending agent, Lee stalked out the door.

Entering the bullpen, Lee found more than just Arch Angel’s closest staff standing in front of Billy Melrose’s office door. Francine’s gushing left no doubt to the identity of the tall well-built man to her left. "I guess he’s okay if you like the swarthy type."

"Lee," Billy began as he motioned the agent closer. "This is Signore Mateo Cavali. Signore, I’d like for you to meet Lee Stetson. He’ll be heading up your security detail."

"I’m glad to meet you Mr. Stetson," the man stated graciously as he extended his hand. "My people were briefed on you and your associates. They are impressed with your record."

Lee returned the firm handshake. "Thank you. I wasn’t expecting to meet with you this morning. I was told only about your staff."

"Unfortunately," Signore Cavali acknowledged apologetically, "my schedule is in other people’s hands more than mine. I am here to meet with Mr. Melrose on something of a more personal nature."

Lee’s peripheral vision noted his boss’ puzzled expression. "Fine. My partner will be here shortly, and we’ll start coordinating our security measures with your activity schedule."

Billy motioned their guest towards his door. "Why don’t the two of us step into my office? Francine can finish the introductions."

Nodding graciously to the section chief, Signore Cavali paused long enough to finish addressing Lee. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Stetson. I look forward to working with you and your staff."

Lee’s response was cut off by Billy stating, "Just a moment, Signore, here comes the other agent heading up our security team."

Both men turned to see Amanda walk briskly into the bullpen and smile a greeting to one of the civilian workers. As she looked their way she slowed slightly and then froze. Lee watched her smile fade to a perplexed expression and then wide-eyed disbelief.

"Amanda?" Billy’s introduction became a question as he followed her stare back to their guest.

"Mac?" The name was whispered, but its effect caused a ripple of activity among those close enough to hear.

Billy tossed Francine a "why wasn’t I informed about this" stare which she answered with a slack jaw and an incredulous look.

"I did not know if you would remember," Signore Cavali replied softly. "It has been a long time, but the years have been very kind to you. Tu sei piu bellisima che ho ricordato, la mia amica. Ti ho pensata spesso!"

Lee’s jaw visibly tightened as his eyes darted between their two faces at the verbal caress.

Amanda took a deep breath, "They told me you were dead. Mr. Marco came to our house…."

"I know you have many questions." Pausing briefly, he glared at the room full of enquiring eyes. "I’d hoped to answer them in a more private setting."

"You’re alive," she stated with a slight smile as one of her hands tentatively moved towards him. "You’re alive and…"

"It puts a whole new twist to the security issues for this week," Lee interrupted, his voice becoming slightly desperate at a treasured memory. "You’re alive. You’re alive and standing in my family room. Ohh…" Back then, it had been one of the few times anyone really seemed to care whether he lived or died. The same smile would not break across her features or…. At the sound of his voice, Amanda’s hand snapped back, and her eyes locked onto his. "I think Mrs. King and I need a chance to discuss this new development and how it will affect our security measures." Matching Billy’s glare, Lee bit out, " Evidently Francine’s background check on Signore Cavali was not complete."

Francine’s eyes and voice countered, "It most certainly was. Every bit of …"

Before Billy could intervene, Signore Cavali replied, "Mr. Stetson is right. Plans will need to be changed. Amanda’s family must be made secure."

Looking at her once again, his voice softened. "I have much I want to accomplish this week. Unfortunately it seems an accounting of our previous relationship is required much sooner than I had hoped. So with your permission I would like for all of us to get this distasteful explanation of our private life behind us. Then this evening I would be honored to have you join me at the embassy for dinner so we can continue this conversation in private."

Seeing all eyes turn towards her, Amanda nodded hesitantly. She saw Mac reach towards her, but felt a quicker hand on her other arm.

"I believe the conference room is available," Lee stated as he turned her towards the bullpen door. "This way."

Billy watched Scarecrow position Amanda by his side and hunted for the roll of antacids in his pocket. His stomach was beginning to hurt.
 
 
 

CHAPTER 2

Monday morning - Agency Conference Room

Lee helped seat Amanda into a chair next to the end of the long narrow conference table. He took the end chair on the table’s other side and motioned Arch Angel to sit between them at the table’s head. It didn’t matter where anyone else sat. He had intervened and taken partial control of a threatening situation, re-established Amanda’s place by his side, and interrupted the enemy’s influence. Also, his seating directions allowed him to watch and study both Amanda and Mac’s faces almost simultaneously. He was on familiar ground.

"Before we begin," Arch Angel stated, "I would like Miss Desmond to know that I’m confident her background check was quite complete. My father had powerful contacts in the US government." He gave her a supportive nod. "After we moved back to Italy, great care was taken to remove many of our friends’ or our family’s names from the usual data banks so that they would be kept out of any in-depth background checks on us, and we would not appear on any of theirs."

Francine gave him a grateful smile. "Such a gentleman."

"In fact," he nodded towards his associates, "only Mr. Anthony Cantarino, my secretary, and Mr. Stephano Lippi, my personal assistant, know I am Arch Angel." He took a moment to look Lee, Billy, Francine, and Amanda individually in the eye. "Only the four of you from this agency, these two men, and my contacts at the CIA know of my duel identity. To everyone else, I am Mateo Cavali international businessman, whose dealings with the American government require, for security purposes, my involvement with certain CIA or agency personnel."

His features darkened. "I am afraid the recent kidnappings of several businessmen are the result of a security leak. It seems Red February is searching for the particular prominent European businessmen secretly know as Arch Angel."

Billy frowned. "What gives you this idea?"

"A coded telegram one of our operatives close to the terrorists sent containing the words "Troy Arch Angel" He grimaced. "Unfortunately, there has been no word from him since."

"Troy?" Lee interjected. "As in Trojan Horse?"

Mac shrugged his shoulders. "Possibly. We don’t know. There has been no other reference found in relationship to any of the kidnapped businessmen."

"Okay," Billy began. "We know that Paul Hopkins, heir to the English wool industry, was found dead along with the MI6 agent assigned to guard him. Jean Paul Monet, a wine exporter, finished breakfast with his wife and daughter at their estate, went with someone to check his vineyards and turned up two weeks later drugged but alive. His head of security has never been found."

"Yes," Mac agreed. "And German intelligence lost two agents searching for the two industrialists Franz Muller and Otto von Kleistmann."

"Have they ever been found?" Amanda asked softly. The concern in her voice grated unreasonably on Lee’s nerves.

"No," Mac answered quietly. "I’m afraid not. Also both a Greek and a Norwegian diplomat have disappeared under similar circumstances... about a month to a month and a half apart. That is why I tried to get out of attending this reception. Having both ambassadors and me in the room gives these devils three targets." He sighed heavily. "Unfortunately, Ambassador Grasso is a very close friend and is quite insistent."

"Why haven’t we heard of all this before now?" Lee asked accusingly.

"We have," Billy sighed, "but each country has taken care of its own. We’re in it now because the threat seems to be coming Arch Angel’s way, and he happens to be on our soil."

Amanda turned towards her friend. "What’s happened, Mac?"

"One of my security personnel who frequently doubled for me was grabbed on the streets of Rome while attempting to enter a bank. His bodyguard was shot, and he was dragged into a car." Anger clouded his features. "His body showed up in a local pond the next morning."

Clearing his throat, Mac’s voice became clipped and professional. "That’s why it has been decided that the Agency will do my security instead of the CIA. If there is a Trojan horse, then hopefully your people will discover him before the reception; if you don’t, then the people closest to me will be all new."

"And in danger," Lee surmised quickly. Looking down the table, he addressed to his boss, "Billy, this is too hot for Amanda to be in on."

"Lee," she protested quickly.

Before anyone could respond, Mac’s eyes locked with hers. "He is right. Amanda, it is far too dangerous for you to be involved. That was one of the things I was going to discuss with Mr. Melrose."

"But Signore," Mr. Cantarino protested respectfully. "Red February has broken several security profiles. They may know of her already. In Muller’s case his previous mistress had no security, and they used her as bait to lure him into their trap. If the two of you are together it will make it easier to guard both of you."

Seeing Amanda’s eyes widen and thunderclouds developing behind both his employer’s and Scarecrow’s eyes, he quickly amended, "Not that I’m making any comparisons, Mrs. King... simply stating facts."

Amanda blushed and looked away while Arch Angel snapped, "Wisely clarified, Mr. Cantarino."

The sound of Billy clearing his throat broke the embarrassing silence that followed. Taking in both Mac and Amanda, he remarked. "I know your past is personal, but if Red February knows about the two of you then we need to as well."

Amanda started to speak, but Mac shushed her gently. "No, Amanda let me do this. There are things you do not know." She reluctantly nodded her agreement.

Giving a resigned sigh, Mac began. "Mrs. King and I met during our senior year of high school." Reaching over, he gently took her hand and squeezed it.

Ever mindful of Lee’s scrutiny, Amanda waited an acceptable length of time before gently disengaging her hand and slowly working it over to clasp her other one. "We began dating, and I met her wonderful family. Mr. and Mrs. West became my surrogate parents...giving me the family I didn’t have."

"A regular June and Ward…" A sharp glance from Billy stopped Francine’s mutterings, and Arch Angel continued.

"I started thinking up ways to be around them," Mac admitted almost bashfully.

Amanda blinked in surprise as he smiled at her and continued. "It was one of the happiest times in a lonely young boy’s life. Amanda attended some of Washington’s social gatherings with me and made them bearable." Stopping for a moment, his eyes locked onto hers. "It never failed to amaze me that in a room filled with lavishly dressed women you could wear a homemade gown and turn so many heads."

Then his face saddened, "Unfortunately my parents didn’t approve. A middle class American woman was not what my father wanted for his son. I didn’t realize their move back to Italy was part of a plan to permanently separate us."

"They always treated me so nicely," Amanda stammered with disbelief and hurt.

"My parents act in whatever way they feel is necessary to accomplish whatever they want." Reaching over and unclasping her hands, he brought one over to him once more and held it tightly. "There is no way to make this next part easy. la mia amica."

Lee glared at Amanda’s hand securely clasped in Mac’s, and the way his Italian endearments subtly isolated them from the rest of the table... including him.

Tearing his eyes away from his friend, Mac addressed the table. "During a visit to Italy, I was seriously injured in a speed boat accident. There was an article about it in the local newspaper. This they sent over here and used as evidence that I had died shortly thereafter."

His eyes became dark and foreboding. Caught up in his own anger, he didn’t see a grimace cross Amanda’s face when he inadvertently squeezed her hand a little too hard. Her expression, however, wasn’t lost to Lee and only a quick pleading look shot his way with a silently mouthed "No" halted the hand which was already moving towards Arch Angel’s arm.

Mac gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head, and as he loosened his grip Amanda directed a slight nod and smile Lee’s way. Unaware of the dissipating tension, Mac continued. "When I began to ask about you and why I had not received any letters, my father told me about the network of intelligence he had help set up. That is why they moved back. The cold war was going on, and he gave the U.S. a much-needed base for information exchange."

His eyes begged her understanding. "They lied and told me the accident happened when someone found out about the network and sought revenge. I was not to worry, however, because the perpetrators had been caught and killed. They explained that in order to catch the terrorists they had said that I was dead. To protect your family, you had also been told that I had died. My father said they had gone to great lengths to see that any link to your family would be very difficult to trace, and if I really cared I would not try to contact you…that your safety depended on it."

"It was all a lie," Amanda breathed unbelievingly. "I can’t believe anyone could be that cruel."

"That’s because it is so foreign to your nature. Unfortunately for some people it is not."

"How did you find out the truth?" A new harsh tone in her voice took those who knew her by surprise.

"A few years later our butler, Giuseppe, became very ill. When he found out he didn’t have much longer to live, he told me that there had been no terrorism associated with the accident. My father had used it as a way to tell me about his activities, show me the need for secrecy, and break us up. When I confronted my father, he didn’t deny it. He said that someday after I had married a nice Italian girl from a rich Italian family I would thank him. It destroyed our relationship for many years."

"Why didn’t you try to contact me?" she asked shakily.

"I caught the first plane I could to the States and drove directly to your house." Sitting back in his chair, he let out a pain filled sigh. "When I arrived, there were many cars parked along your street and music coming from your backyard. I found you cutting your wedding cake." Defeat and regret filled his eyes. "You had just married a man named Joseph King."

"You were there?" Amanda choked softly. "You were at my wedding reception?"

"Yes." His eyes filled with admiration. "You looked so beautiful and so happy. I stood there and prayed that this Joseph King knew what a fortunate man he was and that he would do everything possible to make you happy."

Once again, her took her hand and gently stroked her fingers. "I turned and walked away. It wasn’t until a short while ago that I learned what a fool this man had been. When I returned to Italy, my father told me that if I couldn’t have you at least I could try and make the world a safer place for you. That is how he got me to join the network."

Looking over at Lee, Mac noted the simmering anger in the agent’s eyes. "Mr. Stetson, do you remember an incident last year involving a man named Allen Chamberlain and the attempt to steal the Declaration of Independence?"

Startled at being addressed, it took Lee a moment to move his focus from Amanda. "Uh, yeah, sure …"

"He is an old friend of mine. We rarely see each other because of our busy schedules, but several months ago I had lunch with him." He turned to Amanda who was looking at both him and Lee in amazement. "He told me of meeting a beautiful and gracious agent by the name of Amanda King. He said that you were the only thing that made dealing with his sister’s kidnapping bearable."

Mac let go of her hand and with a broad smile raised his hands above the table. "I knew then that on this visit I must see you once again. I did not find out until later that you would be part of my security staff."

The room lay in silence while all eyes watched for Amanda’s reaction. The quiet was broken by Signore Contarino’s cautious suggestion. "Forgive me, Signore Cavali, for being presumptuous, but what if Mrs. King was your date for the Ambassador Grasso’s reception?"

Seeing both Lee and Amanda begin to protest, he turned to Billy and quickly stated, "Mr. Melrose, one of our concerns has been how to get and keep one of your agents close to Signore Cavali throughout the dinner and dancing without revealing his cover. Is it not yours also?"

"Well…yes," Billy stated guardedly, readying himself for the protest.

"Then this is perfect." Watching his boss carefully, the secretary continued carefully. "If anyone checks into her past they will find her to be what she is…an old girlfriend the Signore sought out when he came to the States. It would not be unreasonable for him to ask her to accompany him to the dinner. Also having them together at the reception will make guarding both of them easier?"

"It would put her directly in harm’s way," Lee growled from his end of the table. "Mrs. King is good at what she does, but she hasn’t finished all of her training." Lee glared at the man, who saw a look of approval but concern on his employer’s face. "Francine has a lot more field experience at this type of operation. That’s why she was assigned to him in the first place."

"Yes," Mr. Contarino shot back, "and she has done a very fine job, but there is a greater chance of his enemies finding out she is an agent, therefore putting her in more danger than Mrs. King."

Billy watched resignedly as the table erupted with opinions. The Italians talked excitedly among themselves. Rustling of papers told him Francine was preparing her protest at once again being replaced by a housewife, and Lee…he didn’t even want to go there. But it was Amanda’s expression that caught his attention. She was caught in the middle. She was trying to be gracious to her old friend, but he could see the worry on her face every time she glanced at Lee.

"Okay, people," he finally barked, "even though Mrs. King is still a freshman agent, her history with the Signore Cavali does make for an excellent cover. Mr. Signore Contarino is correct, having the two of them together at the reception will allow us to watch both of them at the same time, and we’ll already be watching her family because of their history. This way if it is discovered that her family is being guarded it will only add more credibility to her story."

"Billy..." Lee protested pleadingly.

"Scarecrow, you know this is a perfect scenario," Billy interrupted pointedly. "The more field experience Mrs. King has the more capable she’ll be at handling difficult situations. Wouldn’t you rather she gain that experience in a room surrounded by agents looking for any type of trouble than in some situation where she’s on her own?" He knew he was playing dirty, and a thunderous look from Lee told him his agent knew it as well.

"So, Amanda," he continued more politely.

"Yes, Sir," she responded professionally.

"It seems that some of your private life has influenced the security plans we’ve made for Arch Angel’s visit," Billy stated. "So unless you have an objection, I think being Signore Cavali’s date to the reception would be a wonderful opportunity for the two of you to have some personal time and advance your career training."

Looking directly at her boss, she swallowed and replied in a raspy voice, "No, Sir, there’s nothing I can tell you that would keep me from going with Mac to the reception." Amanda studiously avoided eye contact with Lee as she looked back at her old friend. "I’m sure it will be an evening I won’t forget."
 
 
 

CHAPTER 3

Monday morning – Q-Bureau
 
 

Lee and Amanda entered the Q-Bureau quietly and went to their separate chairs.

Amanda sat down wearily and tried to ready herself for what she knew was coming. He was doing his "clasped hands with thumbs hitting each other" routine. Never a good sign. Next would come the…

Running his hand through his hair, Lee plastered a pleasant look on his face. "Well, that was some story."

"Tell me about it," Amanda agreed. She shook her head angrily. "I still can’t believe the lies."

He ignored her comments. "Sounds rather familiar."

"What?" His words caught her off guard. "What are you talking about?"

"His explanation of your past." The tension in Lee’s voice was barely restrained. "Kind of sounds like our present."

Warily Amanda replied, "Yeah, I guess, but there was no way for me to know about his father’s agency involvement."

"That’s not what I’m talking about," he stated accusingly.

She strove to keep her temper in check by momentarily breaking eye contact. Then taking a deep breath, she gave him a no nonsense stare. "Lee, I’m in no mood to play guessing games. A person I thought was dead turned up in the bullpen today, and now he’s my assignment."

"And you’re going to have dinner with him tonight," he added tightly.

"Yes, I am," Amanda returned matter-of-factly. "I have a lot of questions, and I’d like to discuss them without an audience."

"Oh," Lee glowered. "So that’s what I am…an audience?"

"Well, you’re sure not being much of a support system," she glared back.

"And then there’s the reception this Thursday," he continued irrationally, ignoring her accusation.

"That wasn’t my idea," she shot back.

"Well, you sure didn’t do anything to stop it." Lee glared, building up steam.

"At least I tried to get you out of it…if you do want out."

Amanda looked at him incredulously. "And just what did you want me to do? Tell Mr. Melrose about us?"

"No." He threw up his arms in agitated resignation, "But you’re usually pretty good at making up excuses for your mother. Couldn’t you have come up with… something?"

"I’m sorry if I wasn’t thinking fast enough for you," she replied sarcastically. "I was just a little surprised at seeing him much less being assigned to be his date." Her voice lowered in volume but not in anger. "Just a little while ago you stood right over there and said that maybe you could help me work through my memories of him. If this is what you mean by help, I’ll pass."

Staring at her in frustration, Lee ground out, "That was before…before I found out he…"

"Was alive," Amanda finished tightly.

"Yes… No," he shot back. "Before hearing a life story amazing similar to mine. You know… boy who wants a close family. Hometown girl makes own dresses and mother bakes cookies. She has the family he never had, and he has the excitement she wants. You have to admit that there does seem be a pattern here?"

Taken aback, Amanda looked at him incredulously.

Common sense told him to stop, but too many years of pushing people away when he was hurting deafened him to the warning signals. "Then there was that…that Barnhill guy. He was another loner who fell in love with you. What do you do…collect us to fulfill your need for excitement and good deeds or am I just filling in the gap he left?"

Only once before had he seen that hurt expression in her eyes, it was a memory he would love to forget but knew he never would. "Stay away from me Amanda, I’m poison." Guilt spread through him and he knew he’d gone too far. "Amanda, I didn’t mean that. I…"

"Yes, you did," she whispered huskily. "I guess we haven’t come as far in these last few months as I thought." Swallowing the growing lump in her throat she continued, her voice breaking. "Last night was the first time I thought about him in a long time." Smiling a wistful but sad smile, she looked directly into his eyes. "I was thinking about you and how you can make me feel like I’m in love for the very first time…excited…scared…hopeful…. believing anything is possible. I lost that when they told me that Mac was dead." She shook her head sadly. "I only regained part of it when I married Joe."

Pausing for a moment, Amanda studied the regret in his eyes, "But loving you brought it back. And it’s even better this time because I know things don’t always work out the way you want them too." A flash of something unidentifiable crossed her face. "I learned that the hard way when my marriage fell apart." She momentarily studied her desk pad before looking back at him. "But I felt that together we just might have a chance to make something really special happen." Her head bowed and her voice shook. "Maybe that’s all it was…just a feeling."

Collecting herself, she removed her purse from the desk drawer and rose to her feet.

"Amanda, wait…. I’m…" Lee began desperately, as he moved to stop her.

Raising her hand, Amanda motioned for him to stay back. "You want to know why Mac was so important to me? Why I’ve never talked about him?"

Lee didn’t respond. There was no way to convince her it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered but hearing her saying she forgave him and seeing the pain disappear from her eyes. Engrossed with mentally berating himself, Lee nearly missed her next statement.

"Mac was there when my father had his first heart attack," she revealed softly. "You know, Lee," her eyes giving him no quarter, "you’re not the only person who’s lost a parent and years later still finds it difficult to talk about."

"Oh, God," Lee groaned inwardly.

"Daddy was on a stool changing a light bulb." She focused on something outside the window. "Suddenly he dropped the light fixture and grabbed his chest." Her voice cracked. "Mac caught him as he fell. He drove us to the hospital and stayed there until we heard from the doctor. It was a mild one so Daddy only had to stay a couple of days."

Lee watched helplessly as her speech became monotone. "Mac took the night shift so Mother and I could get some rest. When we came home, he did some of the heavier chores for a few weeks. That was the spring of our senior year. Daddy did fine for almost a year and then had another attack. This time they preformed an angioplasty. Mother leaned on Mac a lot, and I think Daddy rested better knowing ‘his women’ were being taken care of. That summer Mac went back to Italy to visit his extended family. Three weeks later they came and told us he was dead."

Amanda bit her lip to keep it from trembling while Lee looked on, reliving the loss of his own father. "A month later we lost Daddy."

Lee searched desperately for the right words. It didn’t seem to matter what he came up with. An unfamiliar tremble to his mouth made saying anything impossible.

"Now if you’ll excuse me." Amanda wiped her eyes. "I’m going home. I know there’s that security meeting this afternoon, but someone can brief me later."

"Amanda..." Lee’s outstretched hand wasn’t quick enough to stop her from turning away.

"I need to get home and tell Mother that Mac’s returned from the dead before his limo arrives tonight." Reaching for the doorknob, she momentarily squeezed her eyes tightly shut and whispered to herself. "I wish I could tell her he’d brought Daddy with him."
 
 

CHAPTER 4

Monday evening –King Household

Amanda pressed a cold compress to her forehead and groaned. She had to get up and get ready for the evening. Hopefully, those last aspirin would stop the hammering between her eyes. Crying usually gave her a headache but holding back the tears made it worse.

After leaving the office, she’d gone to a nearby drive thru for some coffee and regrouping. She’d expected Lee to be upset about Mac, but his accusations of her having a "collection" surprised and wounded her deeply. It was the first time since meeting him that she had needed to physically separate herself from him in order to deal with one of his disparaging remarks. His insecurity and jealousy weren’t anything new, but he’d never directed such a cruel statement towards her before. Was this what life with him would be like? Yes, she’d seen the immediate look of regret on his face, but she knew of too many failed relationships where one partner thought a single "I’m sorry" made everything okay. Draining the cup, she threw it into the trash. Maybe she’d been living a fantasy these past three years, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it right now. Somehow she had to manage a happy face when she talked with her mother.

The doorbell rang as she put on the final touches to her makeup, and she smiled when she heard the excitement in her mother’s voice as Dotty greeted their old friend. The shower had refreshed her, and she’d used the time to concentrate on the many good memories she had of Mac. For some reason, she’d chosen the same white dress for tonight that she’d worn on her date with Allen Chamberlain. Amanda knew Mac would like the effect. Lee had. For a brief moment her mind wandered back to the first time he’d seen her in it. The approval in his eyes had made her shiver but not as much as…. "Stop it! Mac is waiting for you. You’re happy to see him so for goodness sakes act like it!’’ Grabbing her purse, she headed for the stairs.

The next few minutes were spent in a flurry of Dottiness. Amanda and Mac exchanged grins while Dotty hugged him once again, introduced him to the boys, and continually remarked about how handsome and wonderful he looked. Finally, after she had given him a final hug, a box of freshly baked oatmeal cinnamon raisin cookies, and a dinner invitation for the next evening, Mac headed out the door with Amanda on his arm.

"It’s nice to see some things do not change," he grinned down at her. "Your mother is still very…enthusiastic."

"Well, that’s one way to put it," Amanda laughed back. Her mood was lifting. Mac was as gracious as she remembered, and she loved the way he made her mother laugh. The evening had started off nicely, and she wasn’t going to let the movement behind a large elm two houses down put a damper on it.

Lee stopped short of reaching once more for the bottle of Scotch. If it was going to remove his remorse, it should be working by now. How could he have said those things to her? A long time ago, an old friend, Emily Farnsworth, had told him that sometimes you can tell a lot about people by what they say against others. Amanda…a people collector. What a joke. Even if it were true it would be a collection of people she had helped in some way.

Him. Now he was pretty good at collecting people…especially women. He had four black books filled with names and personal information to prove it, trophies to his charm and good looks. Finishing off the last swallow, he set the glass on an end table. "I wonder how many of those entries would say they were better off for knowing me?" "Not many," a small voice replied.

This time last night they had been together. She had looked so beautiful, her eyes sparkling as she laughed at one of his outrageous stories. He loved the way he could make her blush or shyly look away if his teasing got too intimate. Most of his dates probably couldn’t even remember what the words "blush" or "shy" meant.

He closed his eyes and remembered how her body felt against him any time he drew her close. Her willowy shape seemed to effortlessly form to his…making a whole. He’d sensed it the first time they’d danced, when she’d accused him of being either a Nazi or a spy. Sure he’d shrugged it off, but that night he went to sleep trying not to remember how a certain divorced housewife, living with her mother and two kids, fit so naturally into his arms.

And tonight…tonight she was with another man, someone who cared a great deal about her. Lee winced at the memory of Mac’s overriding concern for the effect of today’s confusion on Amanda. She had come first. His words had surrounded her like an invisible shield protecting her from uncomfortable scrutiny. That’s what had driven Lee so crazy so quickly. Even Joe’s return hadn’t made him feel that left out.

And what had he done? Had he shown her the same unselfish care? Hell no. Instead, he’d behaved like what he was, a jealous self-absorbed jackass who took out his own shortcomings on the woman he supposedly loved.

He’d promised himself he wouldn’t drive over to her house to watch them leave. Lied to himself about needing to go out for a few groceries. Told himself that he’d used the market near her house so often that he knew the layout better than the one near his apartment so he could get in and out faster and get back home. Rationalized that parking three blocks from her house was far enough away and that a quick walk would help clear his head. It had to be quick because his milk would get too warm. And hiding…uh, standing…behind trees was just a habit he’d acquired over the years.

"At least I didn’t call my contact at the Italian embassy and have him bug the room. Maybe the smartest thing I’ve done all day." "And the line was busy the first time you tried," the small irritating voice replied.

Amanda laughed out loud.

"Honest. It happened just like that. I promise." Noting her raised eyebrows, Mac gave in. "Okay, maybe the fisherman was riding a donkey and not a llama, and I guess the wind wasn’t blowing quite so hard. Other than that the story is true." He tried to keep a straight face by taking a sip of wine but failed miserably and ended up coughing into his napkin. When he finally caught his breath, he smiled ruefully. "Still don’t buy my stories do you?"

"Well, they are entertaining," she grinned.

"Ah, Amanda." He grew serious and reached for her hand. "You have grown more beautiful both inside and out. I would not have thought that possible."

Amanda rubbed her thumb over his. "And your manners are still impeccable and your tales just as unbelievable." Pausing for a moment, her features became thoughtful, "Daddy loved to hear you tell them."

"Your father was a very kind," Mac replied softly. "He made a lonely young man very happy." His face grew serious. "I am so sorry I was not here when he died. I should have been. I should have…"

"Hey," she interrupted. "That wasn’t your fault, and even if you had known you were still too badly hurt. You couldn’t have made the trip anyway."

"Yes," he sighed. "That is…how do you say… water under the bridge. Once it is gone, it cannot be gotten back."

Then his eyes darkened. "Amanda, there is something I need to know. Were you happy with Joe? Did he treat you well? I cannot imagine letting you go if we had…"

Amanda drew her hand away and settled back against her chair. "In the beginning yes. He was…and in many ways is still a sweet kind man."

"How could a sweet kind man uproot his wife and children and expect them to live in difficult conditions when he could provide for them over here?"

"Joe thought he could do some good…" Amanda began weakly.

"Bah, so he does it for strangers instead of his wife and sons." His eyes glared. "I am sorry, Amanda, but I do not believe those are the actions of either a sweet or a kind man. I have seen it happen too often. Men who take their families for granted while they do their own thing." Trying to check his anger, he moved away from the table. "Forgive me, but my lack of a family makes his actions unforgivable."

Then walking back towards her, he pulled his chair beside hers. Folding her hands into his, he searched her face, "I must know. If I had arrived in time…at the church…before you took your vows…and if I had spoken up…would you have married him?"

Amanda looked down and closed her eyes. It was a question she had pushed aside ever since the moment she had learned he had been there. Finally, she looked up. Shaking her head unsteadily, she answered. "I don’t know." Then she hurriedly added, "And I don’t know if that’s because it didn’t work out or because…"

"Or because you were still in love with me?" he whispered hopefully.

Feeling overwhelmed, Amanda rose quickly and walked towards the open balcony door. "It doesn’t matter. That was a long time ago. A lot of things have happened."

Turning around, she looked at him for understanding. "Mac…we’re both very different people now. I know I am. Being with you has brought back some wonderful memories, and if your father hadn’t done what he did who knows. Maybe we would have married. But we didn’t and…and…"

"Once again I am too late." He walked back beside her. "Yes?"

Amanda opened her mouth to speak but instead simply looked away.

"There is someone else." He moved her chin towards him. "Only this time, there has been no permanent commitment made."

"Is this how Lee feels when he knows I see past his words?" "It’s complicated," she said with difficulty.

"Love always is…especially when one of the people doesn’t always understand the right way to show it," he whispered knowingly. "I think at times Lee Stetson is his own worst enemy."

He smiled down on her widened eyes. "When a man loves a woman he can tell when another man feels the same way." Mac’s finger trailed along her jaw line, and his voice deepened. "His face softens at the sight of you, but he has not yet learned how to control his jealousy. That is very difficult for you. No?"

Amanda moved away. "He hasn’t let many people close to him." Looking everywhere but at him, she continued. "Right now it’s very difficult. I have to keep both him and my job secret from my family, and we have to keep our personal relationship a secret from the Agency."

"Your mother and the boys don’t know what you do?" he asked incredulously. "I mean, I was very surprised, but it never occurred to me…"

"I know. It’s a long story." She grinned sadly. "Even better than some of yours."

"And the Agency. They do not know about the two of you," he stated matter-of-factly.

"No," Amanda sighed wrapping her arms around herself. "No one knows." She looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Until now."

Circling her, he placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned into her back, "Then as the only other person who knows I will ask…does he make you happy…does he treat you well?"

"Yes, he can be wonderful…" Her voice trailed off.

"And when he is not wonderful," he whispered in her ear. "What do you settle for…fine…okay? That’s not good enough for a woman like you, belle mia." Mac felt her body tense as she recalled Lee telling her almost exactly the same thing a few months earlier while they sat in a booth at Dooley’s waiting for Joe. "I am concerned that you have done that once before."

His words echoed the ones she had tried so hard to ignore all afternoon. "You have laughed tonight, bella mia, but I look into your eyes and see it is only on the surface. Do you wonder if once again you love someone who has a limited ability to return that love?"

All of the hurt and the doubt from the day washed over her. His words were spoken too gently to fight so she turned into the remembered safety and warmth of his arms and cried…for what had been so wrongfully taken from them…the bittersweet memories of her family being whole…but mainly because the arms that were giving her the comfort she needed were those of the wrong man.
 
 
 

CHAPTER 5

Tuesday morning –Q-Bureau

At the sound of Q-Bureau door opening, Lee looked up from his desk and the papers he’d been trying to read. It was difficult to concentrate and listen for familiar footsteps at the same time. It was even harder when those footsteps paused for an unusually long time before entering.

"Hi," he said hesitantly.

Amanda’s resolve to address yesterday’s problems nearly crumbled as she studied his face. How could an accomplished United States agent looks so much more like a little boy who needed an accepting hug than a grown man who deserved a reprimand? "But he’s not a little boy anymore."

"Hi," she replied softly as she laid her purse on her desk. She considered her words carefully. "Lee…"

"Amanda, wait," he interrupted, rising from his chair and quickly moving to her side. "Look, before you say anything I just want you to know that I’m really sorry about yesterday. I was a total jerk and had no right to say the things I said or act the way I did." Cutting through the air with his hands, he confessed, "Believe me, you can’t say anything I didn’t tell myself at least twice last night."

Amanda felt her mouth begin to twitch into a slight grin. "Was that before or after the tree?"

Caught off guard, Lee looked at her first in surprise and then with guilt. "Old habits are hard to break."

Taking his hands in hers, Amanda noted the hopeful glimmer her action brought to his face. "We need to talk about some of those old habits," she stated firmly but gently. "I hate putting it off, but I’ve got class in five minutes, and I have to be briefed before the embassy tour this afternoon. I was hoping we could have dinner at your place tomorrow night."

Lee nodded but looked at her quizzically. "Why not tonight?"

Amanda steeled herself for his reaction. "I can’t. Last night Mother invited Mac over for dinner so the boys could get to know him better." Feeling him stiffen, she continued quickly. "Lee, there is no way this wasn’t going to happen, and I’m not going to try and stop it. Mother deserves it, and I want Jamie and Phillip to know him more that just a ‘hello’ at the door."

Dropping her hands, he fought to control his irritation. "Great, just great. He gets to go sit down at the dinner table with your family, and I’m still hiding underneath the kitchen window."

"It’s not what I want either, but getting upset isn’t going to solve anything…"

"What do you expect me to do," Lee bit out, " just stand by while you decide if you want to be with him or me?"

Amanda felt the earlier empathy she’d had for him drain away. It was happening again. As soon as he heard something he didn’t like, he started yelling. Her already raw emotions snapped. "You mean like I’ve done with you for the past three years."

His anger quickly dissipated as he winced at the firmness of her voice and the reality of her words.

"I’ve watched who knows how many women walk in and out of your life." Her frustration and confusion spilled out. "One you even tried to dress like me. You chased another’s image all over D.C., and a third you had hoped to marry." Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her jangled nerves. Then, giving him an unnervingly steady stare, she stated calmly, "At least you know something very important that I didn’t."

Noting his confused look, she shook in head in wonder. "You know I love you. After the past three years and especially these last few months, do you really think I’d just run off with another man and leave you behind.... especially one I haven’t seen in over 15 years?"

She watched her words sink in and confront his wall of insecurities. Then softly she brought forth another fact. "Face it Lee, the main reason you’re still under the kitchen window is because you’re not ready to come inside."

Amanda’s shoulders slumped. Weariness etched itself on her face. "I know we didn’t have the closeness back then that we do now, but have you ever really considered how hard it’s been for me to watch you with those other women...especially Leslie? Back then I never knew if you would ever think of me as anything more than a friend. For the first two years, I was lucky if you even tolerated me being around, but I still tried to be there when you wanted, or needed, someone to talk to."

Gesturing for him to remain silent, she continued. "I’ve always tried to be there for you when you needed me… with Eva and then with Dorothy. If either of those cases happened today, how you would want me to act?"
 
 

CHAPTER 6

Tuesday afternoon – Italian Embassy

"This is the area we are most concerned about," Mr. Contarino pointed out to Lee and Amanda as they walked through the Italian embassy. "These doors leading out of the dining area onto the grounds."

"Makes sense," Lee nodded. "What about those doors from the hallway?"

"Our own people will be there and in the entry. We want people the ambassadors and Signore Cavali are familiar with to be the closest to them. You met them at yesterday’s meeting, Signore Stetson. I will introduce Signora King to them in a few minutes." He smiled indulgently. "I was going to introduce you last night, Signora, but when I went to the Signore’s room I realized it was a very private time and didn’t want to intrude." Ignoring her startled expression, he quickly excused himself.

"His room?" Lee looked at her incredulously. "You had dinner in his bedroom?"

"We had dinner in his quarters…in the sitting room," she responded defensively. "Mac’s staff was all over the place last night, and I guess it was the only place he thought we could have the privacy we both wanted."

"Yeah, I just bet he did," Lee muttered through gritted teeth.

Amanda started to reply but was interrupted by the secretary motioning her to follow him. Glaring at Lee, she stalked off.

"You jump to too many conclusions too fast, Signore Stetson."

Lee turned quickly to see Mac striding up to him. Even though his voice was controlled, anger flashed from his dark Italian eyes. "Granted, my secretary’s unfortunate choice of words might have led one who did not know Amanda very well to the wrong conclusion, but you…you have known and worked with her for three years… and yet the words of a stranger can still make you doubt her?"

A quick glance told Lee no one was within earshot. "Do you always listen in on private conversations?"

"I do not expect a conversation between my secretary and the two people in charge of my security to be private."

"Of course I trust her," Lee shot back, not used to people questioning Amanda’s loyalty to him. "It’s an old Italian boyfriend trying to weasel his way back into her life I have trouble with."

"I am beginning to have doubts about your ability to do this job," Mac stated carefully. "However, your record is excellent so you probably do not jump to as many wrong conclusions professionally as you do in your private life."

"My private life is none of your business," Lee tossed back, more than ready to put this suave intruder in his place.

"I am making it my business, Signore," Mac stated calmly, sizing up his competition and noting that the more self-assured he appeared, the more unnerved the man in front of him became. It was evident that Lee Stetson fought much better with the fist than the word. "Amanda married one man who didn’t appreciate her. I don’t intend to stand by and let it happen again."

Having himself compared to Joe so surprised Lee that he replied lamely. "Who said we were getting married?"

Noting his uncertainty, Mac zeroed in. "No one, but only a fool would love and be loved by a woman like Amanda and not seriously consider a permanent relationship." Seeing Lee rise to the bait, he continued, "Is it so surprising that I know you love her? If you saw it on my face, why do you think I cannot read it on yours?"

Realizing he had Lee on unfamiliar ground, he kept up the line of questions Lee found so intimidating. "I do not doubt that you love her, but can you love her the way she deserves? You hurt her yesterday with preposterous accusations and now you wonder about her faithfulness based on words of a man you barely know."

Mac paused momentarily for his words to sink in. "We have a saying in my country. ‘In every man’s life there is a hidden pearl that will bring him great happiness. A wise man seeks until he finds it, but he becomes a fool if he allows it to slip away and is worse off than the man who never began his search at all.’" A steady and tightly controlled gaze emanated from the European’s eyes. "I know what it is like to live with only the memories of Amanda’s love. I can’t imagine having a chance to regain it and not try."

"What makes you think that I’m just going to stand by and let her slip away?" Lee bit out, hoping desperately that he sounded more confident than he felt.

"Because you foolishly allowed a situation to develop where it was my arms that gave her comfort last night from yesterday’s confusion, not yours," Mac stated slowly and purposefully.

Lee felt the man’s words circle him like a predator homing in on his prey. "So, you are trying to pick up where you left off."

"Signor Stetson," Mac smiled indulgently. "I do not have to try to pick up anything. I just have to be there when you drive her away…like last night. Now if you will excuse me," he said with exaggerated politeness, "I have much to do before I dine with her family this evening."
 
 
 
 
 

CHAPTER 7

Tuesday evening – King Household

"Oh, that is so exciting," Dotty beamed. "You’ve done and accomplished so much, Mac. Your parents must be very proud."

Glancing quizzically at Amanda, he caught the shake of her head. "I suppose they are, Mrs. West. With them living in Switzerland and my travels, we have very few chances to be together."

"Oh, that’s too bad," Dotty replied sympathetically. "Amanda always said they were such nice people. I wish we’d had a chance to meet them."

"It was their loss. I can assure you," he answered graciously.

"Do you keep your race cars at your house?" Phillip asked eagerly.

"No, I’m afraid they must stay where their crews can care for them and the drivers can practice," he replied smiling. "But I do have a Ferrari that I keep at home and take on the track occasionally."

As the boys chorused, "Cool." Amanda silently wished for the day when their eyes would sparkle at the chance to ride in Lee’s Corvette.

"We have a new video game with cars." Jamie announced, glancing at his mom and grandmother to see if everyone had finished eating. "I’ve gotten to the third level. Phillip’s on the fifth. Would you like to see it?"

"Now Jamie…" Dotty began.

"No, I’d love to," Mac laughed. "Just as long as they realize that my driving skills are much better on the ground than on a screen." He took his smile to the boys. "I may need you to spot me a few… ahh, level’s?"

"Yeah, but don’t worry. You’ll catch on fast." Phillip smirked. "If Jamie can get to level three you won’t have any problem."

Seeing Jamie’s downward glance, Mac suggested gently, "Then maybe Jamie and I will find our way up together. Yes?"

Looking up, Jamie caught the understanding gleam in the man’s eye and smiled back. "Can we be excused, Mom?"

Amanda gave Mac a grateful grin. "Sure, Sweetheart. You three men go off to your cars. Mother and I will do the dishes."

As they left, Dotty grabbed her daughter’s arm. "It’s just like old times isn’t it? He’s just as nice as he was, and now he’s so handsome and rich."

"Yes, he is," Amanda agreed, not wanting to go where Dotty’s expression was leading.

"And he has never married?" she continued. "Isn’t that amazing?"

"Well, he was married, but it only lasted a couple of years. He hasn’t seen her since."

"Well, he certainly seems interested in you," Dotty pointed out. "This just might be one of those things you see on television about long lost loves coming back. I mean he did look you up and invite you out to dinner and the reception." Then giving her daughter an inquisitive look, she asked. "By the way what are you going to wear?"

"I haven’t even thought about it," Amanda replied, picking up the dishes and making a dash for the kitchen. "Right now I just want to get these dishes into the dishwasher before the food dries on them."

Dotty blocked her daughter’s escape route. "We can do dishes every day. Now you let me do them, and you get in there with your sons and Mac." Shaking her head, Dotty shook her forefinger at her daughter. "It’s not every day that a man like him sits in our family room. You should learn to seize the moment, Amanda." Then sighing heavily she folded her arms and added. "You’re not getting any younger and that job of yours keeps you too busy to socialize much."

"Oh, Mother…" Amanda groaned imploringly.

"Don’t ‘oh, Mother’ me." Dotty stood firm. "When was the last time you had a real date, not just one of your screenings?" Her eyebrows rose knowingly. "If you won’t look out for yourself then someone has to," Dotty stated in her best ‘mother knows best’ voice. Looking into her daughter’s eyes, she sighed at Amanda’s resistance. Stepping aside, she watched her offspring escape into the kitchen.

Glancing out the windows, Amanda laid the dishes on the counter and surprisingly resumed the discussion on the reception. "Speaking of the dance, I got some fashion magazines today to look through, you know… catch up on the latest styles. I think I left them in the car. I’ll be right back."

"That’s a good idea, dear," Dotty encouraged. "But I’ve seen the way Mac looks at you," she stated confidently. " He’d think you were beautiful in a bath towel."

"Mother!" Amanda moaned and threw an anxious glance at the three men sitting not too far away.

"Just a mother’s observations." Dotty smiled as she began to load the dishwasher.

***

"Stop right there and raise your hands very slowly."

Lee groaned and moved out of the shadows. "It’s me Johnson…Scarecrow. Put that damn gun away before you hurt someone."

Lowering his weapon, Greg Johnson looked at the senior agent and didn’t try to hide the irritation in his voice. "Scarecrow, what are you doing here, and why didn’t you clear yourself with the agents on duty?"

"What am I doing here?" Lee responded sarcastically. "My partner lives here and I’m…I’m here checking out the security."

"Yeah, well next time don’t do it from the bushes," Johnson grumbled as he walked back to his post.

"It isn’t often Scarecrow lets one person sneak up on him much less two," came a voice from the darkness. "Must have a lot on your mind."

Lee turned around sheepishly. He’d been watching Mac and the boys in the family room and wondered where she was.

"Yeah, I guess I do," he admitted as Amanda’s face appeared from the shadows. "Came to check and see if the people assigned to your house were doing their job."

"As good an excuse as any," Amanda acknowledged. "I’m glad you’re here."

"Are you?" he replied tentatively.

"You know I always feel safer when you’re the one watching over us." She stopped for a moment as she observed her family through the blinds. "I wish you could do that…just come to dinner and play games with the boys."

"Yeah, well we don’t always get what we want," he mumbled with a resignation the past few months had almost removed.

"Look, Lee," Amanda began carefully. "I wanted to talk with you on the way back to the office about some things I saw at the embassy today that concern me, but you were so quiet that I decided it could wait until tomorrow."

Her voice lowered. "Right now I want to talk about the secretary’s remark. I’ve got to get back in there before Mother comes looking for me, but I don’t know what he was talking about other than the one time that Mac gave me a hug when I was really upset."

"Are you sure that’s all it was?" Lee hated himself for asking.

Amanda gave him a beseeching look. "Why don’t you trust me?" She searched his eyes for answers. "I don’t understand. Nothing more has happened between Mac and me than what happened between you and Eva when she came back. I know she was married so you couldn’t…." Amanda’s voice died off as a look flickered across Lee’s face. It settled in his eyes, and as her eyes widened his looked away. Backing up a step she watched as he refused to meet her gaze. "That’s it," she whispered hoarsely.

"Look, Amanda," he started lamely.

"No." Her breathing quickened. "This doesn’t have anything to do with Mac and me." The words snapped Lee’s head up. "I thought that if you could remember the confusion you went through with both Eva and Dorothy’s case that you’d realize I just need a little time to work through my feelings. All I’ve wanted was for you to help me sort it all out, but giving me that time isn’t the problem is it?" Her words trailed off painfully.

"Amanda, please…" Lee reached out to her.

"No," she cried moving away from him again. "Lee, Eva was married!" Anguish rang in her words. "What did you…?" She stopped herself. "No, I don’t want to know." Her voice took on a strangled quality as she searched his remorse filled eyes. "All this time I’ve been trying to get you to remember the confusion you went through when she came back and you’ve been remembering…" Lee watched helplessly as her eyes filled with disbelief and pain. "Is that why you don’t trust me with Mac, because you think I’m going to do what you did?"

"No, you’re wrong," he denied, his words sounding hollow to both their ears.

Lee watched helplessly as she wrapped an all too familiar blanket of protection around herself.

Her words lost their anger and became chillingly calm and deliberate. "You’re worried about me getting back with Mac because if you’d had another chance with either of them you’re not sure if you’d stay with me."

"No," Lee sputtered as her words brought his jumbled thoughts together.

Ignoring his denial, Amanda’s words were spoken with a chilling deliberateness as if mentally putting together the pieces of a puzzle. "You think I’m with you because of the excitement... because that’s what you want, but since you lost both of them you’ve settled for me."

"Oh god, no," Lee pleaded, once again trying to grasp her upper arms. "That’s not true."

"I need to go inside before they come looking for me," she choked out as she lifted her hands to fend off his.

Stumbling slightly as she turned, Amanda retreated back into the shadows leading to her front door.

Closing his eyes as he leaned against the white house that had become a second home to him, the words of an old Italian saying about a fool and a pearl rang loudly in his ears.
 
 
 
 

CHAPTER 8

Late Tuesday evening – Amanda’s Bedroom

tap taptap tap tap taptaptaptap

Amanda rolled over and tried to ignore the muffled sounds at her bedroom window.

"Come on, Amanda," came Lee’s muted plea. "Let me in. Robertson’s giving me really strange looks, and there’s a damned bee in this honeysuckle."

Throwing off the covers, Amanda stomped over to the window and opened it none too gently. "Bees go back to the hive at night, and I’m sure Robertson’s heard of you doing much stranger things than this. Now go home before you wake the neighborhood, and you have more people looking at you."

Desperate, Lee grabbed one of her hands before she could pull it back in. "Look I told him we had a break in the case, and I had to get a message to you. If I stay very long we’ll be the main topic at the water cooler tomorrow. Five minutes…ten at the most and then if you tell me to leave I will." For a minute he thought she was going to pull out of his hand and slam the window on it. Just as he was about to give up, she rolled her eyes and let out a resigned sigh.

"Okay, okay get in here," she grumbled as she turned back and sat on the bed ignoring his clumsy attempts to enter.

"Could you give me a hand here?" Lee groaned. "I think I’m stuck."

"Story of our relationship… me getting you out of tight places," she threw back.

"Amanda…please."

Tossing aside the pillow she’d put on her lap, she once again moved to the window. "Oh, all right, why should tonight be any different?"

Straightening his clothes after his not so graceful entrance, Lee tried to judge just how mad Amanda was as she sat on the edge of her bed, arms crossed, and jaw set. Drawing up a chair across from her, he was surprised that the moonlight made her look more forlorn than angry.

"Let me guess," Amanda began wearily. "You’ve been driving around and can’t find any peace because you feel bad about what you said so you’ve come to try and make everything okay because you can’t live with yourself until you do?"

Surprised, Lee haltingly admitted, "Yeah, sorta, I…"

"Because that’s the way you work," Amanda stated with a sigh. "You can live with saying something hurtful as long as you can justify saying it to yourself. The only times you apologize are when you can’t justify it and are trying to make things right so you can feel okay about yourself again."

Lee winced at how accurately she described most of his apologies.

"Well, I’m tired of it." Amanda slapped the pillow. " I’m tired of you pushing me away or drawing me in depending on what you feel like you need at the time. In the past I’ve found my way back, but this time…" She closed her eyes and compressed her lips.

Lee had trouble remembering to breath as his tormentors’ words "not this time" echoed in his ears. Had he really gone too far? He knew he would have with anyone else.

"If these past two days are what getting closer to you will be like…" Her voice dropped to barely a whisper, "then I don’t want to come back."

Looking up at him, she continued in a resigned voice. "I tried to be understanding with Joe until one day I realized there was nothing left to understand except my marriage was broken and without his help it wasn’t going to be fixed." Her voice strengthened, but for the first time, her eyes gave Lee a true glimpse of the emotional scars she still carried from her divorce. "And he wasn’t interested in any compromise that kept him over here."

Lee waited for a moment to see if she was finished. "He was a fool," he replied softly, "and I haven’t been any smarter." He leaned forward and started to reach for her hand but drew back. The desire for physical contact overwhelmed him, but he wasn’t sure she’d allow it. "You’re right about me and my apologies. Most of the time they’re based more on my needs than what I’ve done to someone else, so tonight I’m not going to apologize for my actions."

Amanda raised her head warily. This was a new angle. One she hadn’t seen him use on her or anyone else.

Lee prayed she could hear the sincerity in his voice. "You forgiving me for the stupid things I’ve said and done these past two days isn’t what’s important to me."

Amanda frowned and listened carefully for any type of seduction belying the honest intentions she thought she heard.

"You were right. This isn’t about you and Mac. I didn’t realize it until you said it, but this whole thing’s been about me remembering how I felt when Eva showed up." She turned her face away and bit her lip. "Felt,’ he said slowly, emphasizing the word. "Not how I feel now, but how I felt back then."

Reaching up, he crooked a finger under her chin and waited until her resistance faded. Slowly moving her face around, he continued, "You were right about me and Eva but wrong about you and me."

He watched the eyes he loved so much, now filled with weariness and pain, search his for the real intent behind his words. Never before with her had he needed to choose his words so carefully.

"All this time I’ve been remembering how crazy and hopeful I felt when I heard that Eva was back, even if she was married. I couldn’t wait to see her and wished for just one more chance to hold her." He saw a flicker of response to his honesty. "Oh Lord how this woman can read me. I’ve got to tell her everything or it won’t be enough."

Lee wiped his hand across his face and then through his hair as he readied himself for a painful confession. "So when the opportunity presented itself I took her in my arms and kissed her." He prepared himself for a look of disgust. Instead, to his surprise Amanda’s began to relax her withdrawal and something attune to acceptance began to inch its way into her features.

He watched her with amazement. "That’s all I’ve been able to picture you doing with Mac. I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind." His heart raced with hope as her eyes began to take on that wonderful softness he loved so dearly. "She believes me. She’s not turning away. Oh god, is it possible..."

He gave her a look of hope tempered with resignation. "Mac’s available. Eva wasn’t. If back then she had been…" His voice trailed off. "I mean why shouldn’t you want to be with him? Francine’s been going on about him all week. He’s everything that women want in men…looks, money, stability, excitement."

He ran both of his hands through his hair. "He can give you and the boys any lifestyle you want. He walks right up to the front door instead of hiding in the bushes, and hell, he’s drowning in manners." Taking a deep breath, he sighed and gave her a lopsided grin. "And I know how important manners are to you."

Amanda stood up and moved toward the window. "Since when have you started listening to Francine’s ramblings about men?"

Rising slowly, Lee clenched his hands in an effort not to move towards her. The moonlight was filtering through the window. He could see her slender form through her gown and marveled at how a simple cotton nightgown could be so alluring. "Amanda, before I leave I want you to know that having you in my life these past three years has brought something alive in me that died with my parents.

"Little by little your love and friendship have chipped away at the walls I’ve built, no matter how desperately I’ve tried to keep them up. For the first time since I watched our house vanish in my uncle’s rearview mirror you’ve made me feel like I’ve come home…it doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing just as long as you’re there."

Did he see her stiff back slightly relax? "No one has ever done that for me… not Eva… not Dorothy…no one. There is no one from my past that I would choose to be with instead of you. If you’ll give me another chance, I promise if what we have doesn’t last it won’t be because you’re the only one trying to make it work."

The bedside clock’s ticking grew louder and louder as he waited for her response.

Finally, Amanda said quietly, "We still need to work through some other stuff so this doesn’t happen again."

Lee nodded hopefully. "Whatever you want."

She turned around slowly. Lee’s heart hammered as her lips curved into an ever so slight inviting smile. "Really?"

Lee nodded again barely daring to breath.

"Then come over here and show me exactly what you were so worried about me doing with Mac."

The words were barely out of her mouth before Lee crossed the floor and wrapped her tightly in his arms. Lifting her head, he cupped her face in one of his hands and guided it gently up to his. He paused for a moment while he studied her every feature. "Why would I leave when everything I could ever want is right here?" he breathed as he gently kissed her forehead. Then wanting to savor every moment, he lightly kissed her eyes, cheeks and nose as he moved with agonizing slowness down to her lips. There he began a deliberate and intoxicating study of the various sensations his lips could elicit from hers based on length and strength of contact.

Relying on the steadfastness of his arms for stability as they each reached their own conclusions, Amanda nestled her head under his chin and mumbled into his throat. "No wonder you were worried. You have a very vivid imagination."

Smiling into her hair, he regretfully admitted, "Yeah, and it’s gotten me in a lot of trouble the past two days." Loosening his hold on her slightly, he asked, "So, do I get a little more time?"

"I’d say yes, but if you stay here much longer our office will be filled with some very thirsty people tomorrow."

Lee listened to her words but gave more weight to the message coming from her hands’ exploration of his back and shoulders.

"Besides…" she continued as he began a gentle massage of her lower back. The warmth of his touch penetrated her nightgown’s thin material and threatened her memory of what she wanted to say. "Whether you stay or go, something tells me we would still be saving any more discussion of the past two days until tomorrow night."

His eyes gleamed dangerously. "Would that be so bad?"

Taking a deep breath, she gathered her scattered wits. "You’re not going to make this easy are you?"

Lee chuckled softly. "Okay, okay I’ll be a good agent and leave as long as you promise we can continue this discussion tomorrow night at my apartment where the walls don’t have so many ears."

She smiled her appreciation as he gave her a quick kiss and turned towards the window.

Freed from physical distractions, Amanda suddenly remembered. "Wait, Lee. I still need to talk with you." At his inquiring look, she continued, "Remember Spiderweb where the Russian defectors were being killed every time we tried to bring them in and the leak turned out to be Margaret, the secretary?" Lee nodded and waited for her to continue.

"I think the CIA needs to start checking the workers with the lowest clearances. They are the least likely to be suspected and therefore, their actions less scrutinized." Lee smiled at her reasoning. Experience had taught him not to argue.

"Also," she continued, "today when Mr. Cantarino was taking me around I saw one of the people who takes care of the inside plants over by an arrangement next to the staircase." Lee shrugged his shoulders, a puzzled expression in his eyes.

"It was silk," Amanda explained patiently. "Now I saw the maid dusting those flowers earlier so what was he doing?"

"That’s not much," Lee stated skeptically but smiled at the way the evening was taking a wonderfully familiar turn with Amanda sharing one of her "out of left field" observations and him waiting for her to explain it.

"I know," she nodded, her eyes telling him she too recognized their familiar pattern. Then she smiled conspiratorially. "But it’ll give ya something to tell the guys in my bushes."
 
 

End Part Eight
 
 

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