Disclaimer: This story is based on characters copyrighted by Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company.  It is meant for enjoyment purposes only.  I retain the right to the plot and not the characters.  All characters in this story are fictional.  Do not reproduce this story in part or full, without the author's consent or post it anywhere else.  Thanks!
 

Author's Note:  This is an extremely long story.  The fic is rated "R" or "NC17" for adult themes, occasional language, sexual references and suggested violence.  This story is heavy on angst, but I do promise a happy ending - it just takes a while to get there.  Happy reading and more importantly - Happy Endings...
 
 

Wednesday, December 23rd, 1987
 

The ceramic Christmas tree Amanda had given him sat on the coffee table and a dwindling log, burned in the fireplace, illuminating the room.  The setting was romantic, but their mood was tranquil, almost drowsy.  It had been, as usual, a hectic week.  However, for the first time in his adult life, Lee Stetson was looking forward to Christmas.

“Amanda,” Lee whispered as the two of them cuddled together on his couch.

“Mmmm,” she answered, lifting her head up ever so slightly from his shoulder.

“I have something I want to give you tonight.”  He pulled himself away from her warm body, giving her a quick wink and stood up, disappearing into his bedroom for a moment.  When he returned, he carried a box, wrapped in shimmering gold foil paper with a red bow.  He hadn’t wrapped it himself; he was sure she knew it, but he smiled, knowing it was the thought that counted.

“Why don’t you give it to me on Christmas?” she asked when he handed her the box.

He sat back down then turned her face towards him with a finger, before gently planting a lingering kiss on her lips.  “I’m giving you your engagement ring for Christmas,” Lee reminded her.

“I know,” she smiled, obviously content with the idea.

“We both know I gave you the engagement ring a long time ago.  It won’t be a surprise or a true gift on Christmas.”

She grinned at him, glanced at the package, and guessed.  “A scarf?”

“You won’t know until you open it,” he urged, knowing that it was not his traditional Christmas scarf that he bought for most everyone else on his short Christmas list.

She carefully removed the bow; then traced her fingernail under the tape, opening the wrap without ripping it.

“You wanted to get home early tonight,” he reminded her, gritting his teeth impatiently.  He couldn’t wait for her to try it on.

Without a comment, she opened the lid to the box and pushed away the colorful holiday tissue paper.  She lifted out the sapphire blue cashmere sweater he saw in the store window weeks ago.  Her face brightened as she touched the delicate material.  “Lee, this is absolutely exquisite.  I’ve never felt a sweater this soft.  It’s like cuddling a kitten.  And the color, it’s so vivid!  I love it.  Thank you.”

Thrilled that she was pleased with his gift, he grinned jubilantly.  “When I saw the color, I knew you’d look dazzling in it.  Why don’t you go try it on?”

“I don’t know about ‘dazzling’, but I am going to go try it on,” Amanda remarked excitedly, disappearing from the room.

It wasn’t long before she came out of the bedroom modeling her new sweater.  He whistled in delight.  “Most definitely the perfect color for you; come over here and let me feel how soft it is,” Lee suggested with a sexy undertone.

Amanda laughed knowingly, but complied with his request.  She sat on the couch, crossed her legs over his lap, and reached her arms around his neck and gave her husband a very generous kiss.  “Thank you very much.”

“Mmm, that is soft,” he replied, as his hand tenderly stroked the delicate material.  Her dark hair cascaded down around her shoulders, contrasting nicely against the blue sweater.  He twirled his fingers in her hair.  He nuzzled his chin against the sweater and his exploration of the shirt and his prize beneath it became more insistent.

Amanda pulled away slightly and reached for his hand, holding them tightly in hers.  “Let’s not stretch it out of shape the first time I wear it, all right?”

“Maybe you should take it off?” Lee recommended, not wanting to stop.

“I will; when I get home.  You reminded me a few minutes ago that I wanted to get home early tonight.”

He grumbled at the thought, not wanting her to leave.  He wanted her to stay the night, but he knew she couldn’t.  “Only a few more weeks, right?”

She nodded.  “We get ‘married’ no later than our anniversary!”

“I already made the reservations at ‘The Inn’ for that weekend.  We’ll talk to Billy next week.”

“Agreed,” she nodded.  “I really better go.  I want to make some cookies for tomorrow’s Christmas party.”

“I thought you made them last night?”

“I did, but the boys ate most of them,” she explained when she got up from the couch.  “That’s why I’m baking late tonight.  They’ll be in bed before they come out of the oven.”

“I’ll walk you out.”  Lee retrieved Amanda’s coat, helping her into it and buttoning the buttons all the way to the top, putting off the inevitable of her leaving.  He was also enjoying the physical contact.

“Stay inside,” she warned.  “It’s cold out there.”

He knew not to argue with that tone.  “Bundle up, then.  I love you.”

“I love you, too.  See you tomorrow,” she answered, tugging her coat closer to her, grabbing her scarf and tossing it over her shoulder.  She gave him one last kiss before she left his apartment and walked to the elevator.

The doors of the elevator closed and Lee sighed heavily when it whisked her away.  Returning to his apartment, he peered out the window.  He kept an eye on her while she unlocked the car door, started it and then drove away.  Staring from the window until her taillights were nothing more than a memory, he smiled, knowing that soon they would be sharing their lives fully and a bed - permanently.  There would be no more stolen hours at his apartment.  With that thought, he left the window, went into the bedroom and fished through the drawer for her engagement ring, finally retrieving his treasure.  Then, he put it out on his desk in plain sight, an unnecessary reminder to insure that he wouldn’t forget it tomorrow and got ready for bed.

***

Thursday December 24th
 

Amanda’s cookies were a big hit the next afternoon at the Christmas party, but anything Amanda baked always was.  Billy Melrose was noticeably absent from the party, although the fruitcakes that Jeannie baked weren’t missed at all – they were horrible.

“Where’s Mr. Melrose?” Amanda asked as she sidled up beside Lee Stetson, a cup of fruit punch in her hands.

Shaking his head, he shrugged.  “I don’t know.  The one year I actually attend without being forced and he’s not here to witness it.  I hope Beaman takes plenty of pictures so I have proof!”

“I promise to vouch for you,” Amanda laughed, before adding, “I hope everything is all right.”

“I’m sure it is,” Lee responded, patting her hand gently, but truth be told, he was concerned.  Billy enjoyed the Christmas party, often paying for the food and decorations out of his own pocket.  It wasn’t like him to miss the festivities.  Something was up; Lee Stetson knew it.

“I wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas before I left.  I’m going to cut out of here, though.  I have to stop by the bakery before they close and I have a lot to get done for Christmas dinner tomorrow.  If you see him, tell him I’m sorry I missed him.”

“I will.”

“I’ll see you later,” his wife smiled.

“Yeah, I’ll be leaving here soon,” he winked at her and patted his coat pocket, which held her engagement ring.  “It should be an interesting evening.”

“I’m looking forward to it.  I love you,” she whispered before giving him a friendly kiss on the cheek and heading for the door.

A few minutes later, Francine strolled in and headed straight towards him.  “Merry Christmas, Francine.”

“I never thought I’d hear those words coming from your mouth.  Amanda really has reformed you.  Not only are you wishing people a Merry Christmas, but with a smile on your face, Scarecrow,” Francine remarked sarcastically, reaching for one of Amanda’s cookies.

“Have you seen Billy today?” he asked quietly, ignoring her remark.

“He barreled out of here this morning like the building was on fire.  Haven’t seen him since,” she responded.  “Can’t chat now; I’ve got a plane to catch before he gets back and tries to ruin my plans…”

“Where are you going?”

“That’s need to know,” she grinned as she hurried to the bullpen door and called out over her shoulder.  “And you don’t need to know…”

“Slacker,” he shouted jokingly, but she was too far down the hallway to hear him.

Not wanting to hang around any longer, Lee grabbed another one of Amanda’s cookies and wandered out of the bullpen, to the elevator.  He figured he had waited sufficient time after Amanda departed before leaving; not that it mattered anymore.  Come next week, the whole Agency would know that they were engaged.

Pushing the call button, Lee waited impatiently, humming a Christmas tune he didn’t realize he knew.  The buzz that their wedding announcement would make both here and at her house made him happy.  The grin on his face grew; he couldn’t wait to get to Amanda’s.

When the elevator doors opened up, the missing Billy Melrose shot out like a cork from a champagne bottle and grabbed him firmly by the arm.

“Whoa, Billy, I’m on my way out of here!” Scarecrow reminded his boss, attempting to pull away.

“Sorry, Scarecrow, your leave has been cancelled,” Billy answered, marching him through the bullpen doors.

“No way, Billy,” Lee stopped, pointing at the duty roster board on the wall.  “I’m off duty.  Looks like you get to ruin McDeere or Pullieni’s Christmas.”

Billy shook his head and forcibly pushed him into his office, closing the door behind them.  “Neither of them is qualified to handle this case.  This one’s yours.”

“Not this time, Billy.  I’ve got plans this Christmas!  What about Shaw?”

“He’s already overseas.”

“Call, Bernstein or Tsang; neither of them have kids, and they don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“Sorry, Scarecrow, you’re the only agent who can handle this.”

“Tell Smyth that you missed me and I’m not answering my phone.  What’s the worse that can happen; he’ll toss another official reprimand into my ‘P’ file?”

“If this wasn’t urgent, I would,” Billy answered a dour look on his face.

“I’m sorry, Billy,” he answered, preparing to leave Billy’s office.  “But I’ve got plans for Christmas.”

“National Security depends upon you…”

“Billy, you’ve used that line too many times.”

“I never ‘use’ that line, Scarecrow,” his supervisor corrected in a tone that meant business.

Lee paused at his door, letting go of the handle.  “For once, I’m asking you to find someone else.  This Christmas is important.”

Billy and Scarecrow stood staring at each other in grim silence.  Finally, Billy spoke.  “Scarecrow, a woman’s life is at stake.  Now sit down and read the brief.”

“Someone’s life always is, Billy.  Find someone else.”

“I can’t.  What plans could be that crucial?  You don’t even like Christmas.”

Amanda’s ring was in his pocket.  Lee hesitated for only a moment.  They were going to tell Billy next week anyway.  He walked towards him while removing it from his coat pocket.  “I’m asking Amanda to marry me tonight.  What could be more important than that?”

Billy’s eyes grew wide and it wasn’t from the size of the ring; he was truly startled by the admission.  He reached for the arm of his chair, steadying it before he fell back into it.  “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Does this diamond look like a cubic zirconium to you?” Lee growled, removing the ring from its box and putting it right under his boss’ nose.  “Come on, Billy, you’ve known how I felt about her longer than I have.  Don’t you think it’s about time we got married?”

Billy’s voice was hoarse all of a sudden.  He forced out the words.  “Lee, I got a call from Magda Petrak earlier today.  She was concerned about her sister Mara; she’s in trouble.”

Lee’s stomach turned. He swallowed hard past a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.  Mara had almost died at the hands of Addi Birol in an attempt to protect him and Amanda.

“Birol?” Scarecrow choked out, afraid of the answer.

“No.  Birol’s still behind bars.  Mara’s in Iraq.”

“What the hell is she doing there?” Lee bellowed angrily, snapping the ring box closed.

“She was working for the CIA gathering intelligence on the Iran, Iraq war…”

“And something went wrong…”

Billy nodded his head.

“Why me?  If the CIA got her in there, why can’t they get her out?” he asked, but Lee knew the answer.  They wouldn’t care about getting her out alive.  Scarecrow owed Mara a lot.  She gave him back Amanda.  He knew he would go; he had to try.  He’d repay that debt with his life, if necessary.

“Lee, we don’t have a lot of time to discuss this.  It’s all in the brief.”

“Let me go see Amanda.  I want to give her this ring.  Then I’ll go back to my apartment and pick up a few essentials…”

Billy was shaking his head.  “There’s no time.  Your ride is leaving at seven tonight.”

Lee glanced at his watch.  It was after five now.  “Then get me another flight.”

“I can’t.  As it is, you’re taking an Army transport plane.  Every commercial flight is booked because of the holiday.”

“Billy, I’ve got to give this to Amanda before I leave.  It’s her Christmas present…”

“Lee, if you miss that plane, there’s not another one available until Sunday night.  I don’t have to tell you that Mara may not have that much time.  You could always give Amanda the ring on New Year's Eve…”

“If I get back by then!  Damn it, Billy,” Scarecrow shouted in frustration, bashing his fist against the wall.  “Amanda deserves better than this.”

“Lee, Amanda will understand.  It’s business.  I’ll talk to her - in person and explain there was an emergency if you’d like.”

“NO!” Lee snapped, glaring at his supervisor.  Why did this have to happen now, on Christmas Eve?  “Give me ten minutes.  I’ll go call her from the Q Bureau and try to explain to her why I’ll be missing church tonight and dinner tomorrow.”

“Lee, this assignment is technically CIA.  It’s um… need to know.”

“Great!” Lee barked at him before storming out of his office, slamming the door behind him.  Deep down, he knew it wasn’t Billy’s fault, but he was angry and heartsick.  Lee was going to disappoint his wife on what should have been a wonderful, memorable evening for both of them.

Lee hurried up to the Q Bureau, pushing past several people on the way.  They all wished him a happy holiday, but his Christmas spirit had been broken.  After unlocking the door, Lee slammed it behind him.  Grabbing the phone, he picked it up and dialed the familiar number...
 
 

“Happy holidays,” Dotty’s cheerful voice greeted when she answered the phone.

His mood softened a bit at the joyful greeting.  “Happy holidays to you, too, Dotty.  Did Amanda make it home yet?”

“Yes, she got home a few minutes ago.  She’s unloading the car.  She stopped at the bakery to pick up a few things.  Hold the line a moment; she’ll be right in.”

Lee waited for what felt like an eternity.  In the background, he could hear the noises of the happy and bustling household.  Phillip and Jamie obviously ogling whatever goodies Amanda purchased at the bakery.  His mouth watered at the thought.
 

“Hello?” Amanda said when she picked up the receiver.

“Hi,” he replied flatly, not sure how to break the news to her.

“Miss me already, huh?” she teased, her voice, warm and inviting.

“More than you’ll ever know...  Amanda,” he stopped, took a deep breath to prepare for the reaction, but somehow, she already knew.

“You’re not coming, are you?”

He looked toward the ceiling, hoping for divine intervention, but it wasn’t to be.  “Billy caught me on my way to the elevator.  You were right to be concerned by his absence at the party.  Something’s come up.”

There was silence on the phone for a few moments.  Neither of them wanted to acknowledge that something always managed to put a crimp in their plans, especially at Christmas.  “I’m really sorry.”

“Will you make it for dinner tomorrow?” she asked.  “I could put it off an hour or two…”

“No.  I’ll be lucky to make it home by New Year's Eve,” Lee explained, hoping she’d be able to fill in the gaps that he wasn’t able to tell her.

“You’re going overseas,” she guessed.

He could tell from her voice that she was holding back tears.  Lee wanted to reassure her, but there wasn’t much he could say.  Amanda wasn’t a civilian anymore.  She knew the score.  “I’ll try to call you, but it’ll probably be a few days at the earliest.  I can’t guarantee anything.”

“Oh my gosh, Lee!  Who’s going to watch your back?”

“Amanda, I’ll be all right.”

“Be careful, sweetheart,” she whispered.

“I will - I promise.” There was a knock at the office door.  From the shadow cast in the hallway, he could tell it was Billy.  “I’ve got to go – they’re holding the plane for me.  Remember how much I love you…”

“I love you, too,” she whispered in a ragged voice.

“Merry Christmas,” Lee choked out and then he rested the phone back onto its cradle.  It was days like this that he really hated his job.  He took a deep breath, cleared his throat and got ready to leave.
 
 

Billy and Lee hardly spoke on the drive to the Army base.  His nose was stuck in the briefing file, but his heart and head were hardly in it.  The day had started with such promise, but now, it would end like every other holiday since his parents had died – alone and aching for a family.  Apparently, he would be denied that pleasure for another year.

When they pulled up to the gate at the base, Billy flashed his ID and they were waved through.  It wasn’t until then that Lee realized he still had Amanda’s engagement ring with him.  There was no way he was going to take it to Iraq.

When he got out of the car, he reached into his pocket and called out to his supervisor.  “Billy, I forgot to leave this in my desk.”

“I’ll take good care of it, Lee, I promise.”

Lee smiled half-heartedly.  “Thanks.”

“Scarecrow, be careful over there.”

He nodded, shook his hand goodbye, and then hurried towards the waiting plane.  It was going to be a long night.

End Part One
 
 
 
 

Heartstrings...
 

Part Two

The flight seemed to go on interminably.  There were no windows where Lee was sitting, in the back of the cargo plane.  The bumpy flight crossed the Atlantic and stopped briefly in Germany to refuel, but nobody was permitted to leave the plane.  It continued on until they eventually landed on an Army base, near Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, late on Christmas day.  The celebration on the base had long been over.  There would be no turkey dinner for him.  It was just as well; he was in a foul mood.

The first thing he did was to search for the supply office, where he was furnished with clothing and provisions for his trip:  a compass, a knife, some local currency and other necessities.  His next stop was the mess hall where he grabbed a cup of coffee and a sandwich.  He also stashed some snacks in his bag.  Then he located the showers and cleaned up before he found the closest, empty bunk, to catch a few hours shut-eye.  His mission into Iraq would truly start at 0600 hours.

After all the years Lee spent living on military bases, he expected to fall asleep quickly, but he didn’t; he slept fitfully.  His mind wasn’t on his assignment, to retrieve Mara Petrak and extract her from the hell she was living in, somewhere in Iraq.  His mind was in Arlington, wondering about Christmas at the King household.  Would Amanda be wearing her new sweater?  Would Phillip’s new ski boots fit, and would Jamie like his new telephoto lens for his camera?

Somewhere in his jumble of thoughts of engagement rings and marriage plans, Lee Stetson managed to fall asleep.  It was too soon that he was jostled from his dreams by a deep voice, “Mr. Stetson?”

“Yes,” he replied, bolting up from the bed, not realizing, at first, where he was.

“Your CIA contact is waiting for you at the main gate.  I’m to escort you there.  Did you need anything else before you leave?” the sergeant asked politely.

Searching for his bag, Lee glanced through it.  “Do you have an extra canteen?”

“I’m sure I can locate one on the way out.”

Less than thirty minutes later, Lee sat at a coffee shop, sipping coffee and eating a croissant with the CIA contact.  The agent was younger than he was; thin, with dark hair and eyes, well dressed, but rather impetuous.  His briefing on the current status of his mission was lackadaisical and superficial.

“Any questions?” his contact asked with a shrug.

“Do you think Mara’s still alive?” Scarecrow questioned, studying his body language intensely.  So far, he hadn’t given him much to go on and little confidence that she wasn’t already dead.

“I hope so,” his CIA contact answered dubiously.

Scarecrow didn’t care for this guy from the start.  The CIA agents he knew always tended to be vague, but this guy was really rubbing him the wrong way.  Lee was tired and didn’t want to be there to begin with; he needed details of what went wrong with Mara’s assignment.  He didn’t want to fall into the same trap.

“When was the last time you heard from her?” Scarecrow pried in a harsh tone.

The CIA agent didn’t notice the tone or didn’t care and answered succinctly.  “Wednesday morning.  She’s missed every check-in since then and when one of our low-level ops snooped around that night, he was warned not to come back, by the woman who answered the door.”

“How difficult will getting into Iraq be?” he inquired anxiously, not sure how well the border would be guarded, considering they were at war with Iran.

“Getting in shouldn’t be a problem.  Let your guide do the talking.  We’ve got a local who will take you as far as Al Najaf.  He’s been told that you’re searching for an old lover.  He knows nothing of what either of us do; safer for everyone,” the agent explained with a raised eyebrow.

“How do I find her?”

The CIA agent gave him a map and a small piece of paper with addresses on it.   “The map should help you navigate in the city of Karbala.   There are several addresses on there where Mara could be held.  Be careful; you don’t know who you can trust and certain factions aren’t too friendly with Americans.”

“How do I get OUT of Iraq?” Scarecrow probed, sensing this guy’s concern for his safety was almost zero.  He wondered if he even had a plan.  It was obvious that he had things he’d rather do other than brief him on his mission.

“That will be a bit trickier with Mara in tow,” the agent answered.  Then he pulled out a briefcase containing a mobile phone and handed it to Lee.  “You’ll need to be close enough to a tower to get a signal.  Service over there is sketchy at best.  Otherwise, you’ll have to find a land line.”

“Gotcha…”

Reaching into his breast pocket, the agent handed Scarecrow a small scrap of paper.  “The phone numbers are to be used when you’re ready to be extracted or if you have an emergency.  Memorize them and destroy it before you reach Iraq.  If you find Mara, you won’t be able to get through the border crossing with her.  You’ll have to be flown back or sneak across the border at an unmanned post.  The farther south you can be in Iraq, the better, but crossing the border with Mara is not recommended.”

“Got it.  So when do I meet my guide?”

“Here he is now.”  He waved his hand at a young man when he entered the small shop.

“Steadman, this is Maimun; he’s your ride to Karbala.  He’ll go as far as Al Najaf with you,” his CIA contact explained.

“You know where you’re going in Karbala?” Maimun questioned, glancing warily at him and then over to his contact.

“Yes, I have her address from the last time we were together,” Scarecrow replied with a confident nod.

Minutes later, they departed and he was on his journey with his young guide.  The guide was nothing more than a boy, not much older than Phillip King.  Maimun did all the talking when they crossed the border.  It went smoothly and Lee was beginning to feel a bit more comfortable about this assignment.  Maimun hadn’t spoken to him since they crossed into Iraq.  The dusty miles of the Iraqi desert made him lonely.  Although Maimun spoke fluent English, he didn’t seem very friendly, other than to warn him about whom to stay away from.  Lee wondered if he knew more about his mission than his CIA contact had told him.

When they arrived in the town of Al Najaf, Maimun wished him luck before handing him the keys to the car.  Scarecrow was off on his own, heading towards the holy city of Karbala.  His command of the Arabic language was poor at best.  Sure, he had mastered the Arabic language tapes forced on them at the Agency.  However, memorizing them and speaking the language fluently, were totally different.  Scarecrow knew his best defense would be to keep to himself.  He had several addresses to scope out and he was hopeful that Mara was at one of them.

Arriving in Karbala late in the day, he wanted to make it to the first address on his list before sunset.  His map was inaccurate, but he eventually found the location as dusk was looming.  The house, however, had been burned down.  Only charred cinders remained.  Lee drove past it, without stopping, afraid that someone might be watching the house.  Instead, he continued on to the next location on his list, but it was already dark and he was quickly lost in the city.

The darkness was a hindrance.  The night had a chill to it and he was tired and hungry.  He pulled out his sack and nibbled on some dried fruit and attempted to consult his map.  It wasn’t much help.  With his stomach no longer gnawing at him, he decided to find a quiet place to park the car and to catch a few hours sleep.  He’d continue his search in the morning.

Even though the car was cold, he slept better than he had on the army cot.  He was confident that today would prove to be more successful than yesterday.  Consulting his map once again as the dawn began to break he started up the car and was on his way.  It wasn’t long before he located the next address on his list.  The neighborhood was in an older, poorer section of town.  The residents were beginning to stir and he parked the car down the block to investigate the area.

Walking down the back alley, Scarecrow hid in the pre-dawn shadows.  Lights were already on in the small house in question.  An argument was going on inside, men’s voices shouting at one another and it sounded like someone was crying.  He couldn’t tell, but the crying sounded like a woman.   Then he heard the distinctive sound of someone being beaten and this time, it wasn’t crying he heard, it was more like a moan of desperation.

His pulse quickened and a gut feeling told him that he was at the right place.  The questions now were, how to get into the house, how many people were there inside? Most importantly, was Mara still alive and could he count on her help if she was?

The beating continued until another quarrel broke out.  He could hear two distinct male voices badgering each other.  He couldn’t understand most of what they were saying, but clearly, they disagreed about something.  This gave him the perfect opportunity to skulk his way to the window of the small house.  Peeking in, he observed several people inside; the two men were arguing and a teenage boy sat in a chair, in the corner, cowering from the men.  Scarecrow didn’t see Mara, but he didn’t see any women at the moment and he was certain that he had heard a woman crying.

Keeping himself flat against the wall, he moved to the next window.  From that vantage point, Scarecrow saw two women.  The lighting was poor in the room, and at first, he was unsure of their identities.  One woman’s shape and profile was familiar.  When she turned, he knew immediately; it was definitely Mara.  Thankfully, he wasn’t too late.  Her face was swollen from the beating that he heard.  The other woman had her back to him.  Mara was attempting to comfort her as she whimpered softly.  Scarecrow tapped lightly on the window to gain her attention, yet not too loudly to interrupt the argument that continued in the other room.

When her eyes glanced out the window, Scarecrow whispered, “Mara, it’s me.”

At first, she stared at him like she was seeing an apparition; then she smiled in relief before whispering in the ear of her companion.  The other woman turned towards him.  She appeared older than Mara, perhaps the mother of the boy.

“Are you OK?” he mouthed to her silently.

She nodded, ever cautious of the ongoing argument.  He knew she couldn’t speak to him without giving him away.  They flashed hand signals to each other until he knew there were only two armed men covering the three of them.

Glancing first at the house, then at the window, he tried to figure out a way to open it without being detected, but the window was narrow and would not allow a swift or easy entrance, let alone an exit.  Encouraged by the fact she was still alive, he tried to figure a way to get in and out.

There wouldn’t be an opportunity to rescue her from the house.  The argument stopped abruptly; one of the men came in and grabbed each of the women by the arm and forcefully hurried them out of the room.  He ducked down, not to be noticed.

The front door of the house creaked open and he heard voices spill out to the yard, followed by yelling and car doors slamming.  He hurried around the house and got a good view of the car.  Then he ran up the street, back to his car.  It was still early in the morning so there were only a few cars out on the road.  It didn’t take long before he was following them at a distance.

Upon closer inspection, he confirmed there was now only one of the men in the car.  Unfortunately, he was holding the boy by the scruff of his neck with one hand and driving with the other hand.  The two women sat together in the back seat.  The car turned onto the main road, which led towards Baghdad.  There was no way of knowing whom he was dealing with, but he didn’t want to find out in Baghdad.  He had to stop them before they got there.  As the morning wore on, more traffic would fill the highway.  Something had to be done and quickly, before they left the open desert and got closer to the city.  Retrieving his gun from his sack, he aimed at the rear tire.

The first shot missed and so did the second, but his third shot hit the tire.  For a moment, the car skidded out of control, but the driver swiftly recovered and pulled the car off to the side of the road.  Lee drove on past, nodding to Mara as he did.  Once he was fully out of sight, he turned the car around and drove past again, this time very slowly.  The driver was getting the spare out of the trunk.  Things were working out exactly as Scarecrow had planned.  Turning around once more, he pulled up behind them and got out of his car to help.

The man greeted Scarecrow guardedly as he walked up to him.  They were both keeping a mindful eye on the passengers.  The man worked on the lug nuts with the tire iron before putting the tire iron down.  He reached around the tire with his broad hands and began to pull the flat tire off the vehicle.  Lee stepped back and waited until there were no cars in sight before he reached down for the tire iron ever so casually.  The man never knew what hit him; he slumped into the dirt on the side of the road.

“Mara, get everyone into the other car,” Scarecrow called out to her.

“Scarecrow, what are you going to do with him?” she asked while she helped the older woman from the car.

“I’ll stuff him in the trunk,” Scarecrow answered quickly, not giving it much thought.  It wouldn’t kill him, but it might take someone a while to find him.  That would provide them with sufficient time to escape back to Saudi Arabia.

“Bring me my bag,” Scarecrow shouted urgently to Mara, as he carried the limp body of her captor to the trunk, slamming the lid hastily in case anyone else stopped to assist.

She rushed it to him.  Her eyes darting around, watching his back, much like Amanda would.  “Scarecrow, we need to get out of here, now!”

Scarecrow searched his bag for the knife they issued him back at the military base.  He slit the spare tire before he crawled under the vehicle and cut the fuel line for added protection.  This vehicle wouldn’t be going anywhere soon.

Pleased with his handiwork, he reached for her hand.  They raced back to his car, jumped in and turned around one last time, speeding away from Baghdad and back towards the Saudi border.

When they’d gotten far enough from the scene, Scarecrow turned off the highway onto some back streets of a small village, mindful to be certain they weren’t being followed.  Once he was sure, he pulled into a busy parking lot and surveyed his passengers.

“Are you all right?” Scarecrow asked Mara.

Her fingers gently touched a large bruise on her forehead.  “We are now.  I’m glad to see you, Scarecrow.  If you hadn’t found us when you did…”

“Who are they?” he asked, nodding to the older woman and the boy.

“Friends.  Tibah helped hide me when my cover was blown.  If it wasn’t for her, I’d already be dead.  Her son, Hamdi will be conscripted into the army or worse…  Scarecrow, he’s big for his age, but he’s not even 16 yet.  I couldn’t leave them behind.”

Nodding to his friend, he understood.  Amanda would have done the same thing. “All right, we’ll all leave together.”

“We have no passports, Scarecrow.  We’ll never get across the border.  Not looking like I do and certainly not all four of us,” Mara warned her friend.

“Don’t worry.  Reach under the seat.  There’s a briefcase; pull it out.  It has a mobile phone inside.  We’re going over the border, not across it.”

Mara reached under the seat, pulled out the briefcase, and handed it to him.  He turned it on and waited for a signal.  There was none.  Handing it back to Mara, he said, “We’ll have to drive around until we get a signal.”

They drove away from the parking lot and continued checking the phone for a signal, but they had no luck.  Finally, Lee started searching the sky until he saw a telephone tower.  He turned the car in the direction of the tower and they finally had a workable signal.

Lee dialed the number from memory.  It rang a few times before someone picked up.

“This is Scarecrow.”

“How was your trip?” the voice asked on the other end of the phone.

“Very successful.  I’m looking forward to telling you about it.  I have four packages for pickup.”

“Excellent.”

“When can all five of us get together?” Scarecrow asked.

There was static on the line for a few seconds before there was a reply.  “We will meet with you tomorrow morning at the usual time.”

“Any chance we can meet today?” Scarecrow asked.  “My baggage is rather… hot!”

“There’s nothing available today.  Meet fifty kilometers south of Maimun’s, at the usual time.”

Before Lee could stress the need to be extracted sooner, they lost the signal.

“Damn it!” he swore, slamming the briefcase closed.

“What’s wrong?” Mara asked.

“They can’t extract us until tomorrow morning.  We’ve got to lay low until then.”

“Scarecrow, that’s less than 24 hours.  We can manage.  Where’s the pickup point?”

Lee glanced at the two frightened people in the back seat of the car.  “Fifty kilometers south of Al Najaf.  They’ll pick us up before sunrise and we should be in Riyadh in time for breakfast.  With any luck, I might make it home in time for New Year's Eve!”

“That would be a good way to start the New Year – far away from this place.”

“Yes, I can’t agree with you more.  Now, we only have to find someplace quiet…”

“I think I have an idea,” Mara suggested.

“Great,” Lee nodded.  “Let’s get moving.”

*** *** *** *** *** ***

Mara shook Lee awake early the next morning.  They’d spent the night in a storeroom, near Karbala, that an acquaintance of Mara had reluctantly provided.  The room was warmer and slightly less cramped than the car not to mention less conspicuous.  However, they would have a long drive to make to the pick up point.

Lee freshened up as best he could.  His clothes were now wrinkled and stale and he looked forward to returning to Riyadh.  A shower, shave and fresh clothes were high on his list for today.  That and he wanted to finagle a phone call to Amanda to let her know he was all right and on his way home.

Corralling his charges, they piled back into the car and started the drive south towards Saudi Arabia.  The engine of the old car coughed and sputtered in the cool morning, but managed to chug along.  When they reached the neighborhood where Maimun departed a few days before, Lee spied the odometer.  They were ahead of schedule by his calculations.  He followed the road until they’d gone another fifty kilometers.  Then he turned the lights off and pulled off the road a good distance.

The four of them sat in the car and waited in silence as 0600 passed.  Scarecrow got out of the car and began pacing nervously.  Light began to creep into the desert as dawn approached, but there was no sign of a helicopter to transport them out of the desolate tract they were waiting in.

Leaning against the hood of the car, Scarecrow was getting nervous.  Traffic would increase as daylight approached.  If their ride didn’t arrive soon, they’d be sitting ducks out in the vast desert.  There was nothing left of his provisions.  They had eaten it last night.  Two canteens of water wouldn’t last long for four people.  Trying to remain calm, he turned around and smiled at his passengers in the car hoping to allay their nerves, or maybe it was to allay his own anxiety.

The sun was just about to crest over the horizon when he heard the distinct sound of a helicopter off in the distance.  Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, he went back to the car.

“I can hear a helicopter coming.  Stay in the car until it lands, but once it’s on the ground, we’ll make a run for it,” he instructed his passengers.

“We’ll be right on your heels, Scarecrow,” Mara said.

When he turned around, the outline of the chopper became more apparent.  At first, he wasn’t concerned, but as it got closer, Scarecrow blinked and rubbed his eyes.  Was he seeing things properly, he wondered?  Unfortunately, there was nothing wrong with his eyes.  The helicopter that was only moments from landing was tiny.  It was the size they used for traffic reporting back in DC.  They’d be lucky to fit three of them inside.  There was no way all four of them would fit.

Dust flew as it landed near the car.  The occupants hurried behind Scarecrow hoping to squeeze inside.  When Lee opened the door, he knew it was futile.

“Is there a second chopper coming?” Scarecrow asked hopefully.

“No, I’m it.  I was expecting only two people.  We stripped this machine down to accommodate that,” the pilot answered.

“I told my contact I had four packages,” Lee explained.

The pilot shrugged.  “I’m really sorry; there must have been a miscommunication.  I can’t take you all.  We’ll never get off the ground.”

Scarecrow ran his hand nervously through his hair.  “Take the two women.  The boy and I will attempt to cross the border after dark.”

“No!” Tibah cried, refusing to board the aircraft.  “I won’t leave my boy!”

“I’ll stay with you,” Mara suggested.

“No!” Scarecrow answered tersely.  His mission was to get Mara out of Iraq and he was going to make sure that happened.  Glancing back up at the pilot, he asked.  “Can you get off the ground with the three of them?”

“I don’t know, but it looks like we might have company…” the pilot nodded to a car that was getting closer.

“Get in… hurry up!” Scarecrow shouted, helping the older woman into the chopper, then Mara and finally pushing the boy in as well.  “GO!”

Lee ducked down, covering his eyes from the dirt and debris blown around while the chopper blades whirled in an attempt to gain altitude.  It was skimming just above the ground, forcing dust and sand everywhere.  The car was now pulling off the road heading straight towards them, kicking up the dry dirt racing towards Scarecrow as fast as a tornado.

“Damn it!” he shouted over the noise as he ran toward his vehicle.

The occupants of the other car knew they were no match for a helicopter, which had managed to gain some altitude despite the weight it carried.  Instead, the car followed Scarecrow, who had yet to make it into the vehicle.  Shots rang out, missing him at first, but they continued, getting closer and closer.  Scarecrow was unable to return fire.  His objective was to reach the safety of his own vehicle.  Only a few feet from it, he was struck, and he fell to the ground…

End Part Two
 
 
 
 
 

Heartstrings
 

Part Three  –  January  1988
 

Christmas week was busy for Amanda, balancing work with visiting friends and family.  She welcomed in the New Year home alone, without Lee, silently praying he’d return soon.  Amanda did her best to hide how lonely and disappointed she was that Lee hadn’t been around for any of the holiday festivities.  Each time the phone rang, she hoped it would be him calling to tell her he was at the airport.  She was worried about him, but masked her feelings as best she could.  Now, with most of the presents unwrapped, the treats long since eaten, she started the mundane chore of packing away the Christmas decorations and taking down the Christmas tree.

“Mom, what should we do with the presents we got for Lee?” Jamie asked, holding several wrapped gifts.

“I’ll put them in my closet,” she answered, gathering them up in her arms.  “I’m sure he’ll be back later this week.”

When she went into her bedroom, she closed the door behind her before putting the gifts into the closet, on the top shelf, where they’d be easy to retrieve.  Then, she sat on her bed staring silently off into space.  She wondered and worried about where her husband was and if he was safe.  A knock at her door brought her out of her reverie.

“Come on in,” she called out.

“Amanda, are you all right?” Dotty asked in a quiet voice.

She smiled.  “Yeah, I’m fine.  Just have the after Christmas blues.”

“Then your feeling down has nothing to do with Lee Stetson being out of town?” Dotty inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“That obvious, huh?” Amanda admitted, the smile leaving her face.

“Probably not to your sons; you’ve put on a pretty good show for them, but I’m your mother.  I can see it in your eyes.”

“I do miss him, Mother.  It’s not fair that he had to go this Christmas.  He took vacation time.  Lee works almost every Christmas…”

“Probably because he doesn’t have a wife and family like most of the other people you work with.”

“But…” Amanda started to say something, then stopped.

“Maybe that will change when he gets back.  He was dropping some rather clear hints to me before he left that he bought you something very special this year,” Dotty disclosed.

“He told you that?” Amanda asked in disbelief, surprised that Lee would confide to her mother about the engagement ring knowing how often Dotty hinted about the subject.

Dotty nodded and sat down on the bed next to her daughter.  “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I thought your spirits needed a lift.  I was teasing Lee one night when you were on the phone with Joe.  We were chatting about presents, when he mentioned that he bought you something shiny and expensive for Christmas.  I told him that you didn’t need a new car and he grinned brighter than the Christmas tree, before he explained, it wasn’t a car.  In fact, he said that it would fit in a very small box.  I bet that next year by this time, he won’t be the bachelor selected for a crazy, last minute assignment.  Next year, he’ll be home with his wife and family.”

“I’d like that, Mother,” Amanda admitted, sighing heavily.  For once, she didn’t want to continue the charade that marriage wasn’t in their immediate future.  “I think the boys are comfortable with Lee and we both know how you feel about him.”

“Yes, I really like Lee, and he’s great with the boys.  He’s been patient with Jamie until he finally found a way to connect with him and Phillip just idolizes him and that Corvette.  He loves when Lee takes him anyplace in that car.”

“It’ll be nice to have a man around the house again.”

“Yes, it will be.  Lee Stetson is a fine man, handsome, intelligent and thoughtful; his manners are impeccable and you finally seem to notice.”

Amanda blushed.  “I’ve noticed for a while now, Mother.  We just weren’t ready to make a commitment to each other.  Being married might change the way things are at work, not to mention, Lee’s never had a family and I’ve already been divorced once.  We didn’t want to rush things.”

Dotty chuckled.  “Nobody would ever accuse you or Lee of rushing things.  I really expected you would have been married by this Christmas.  Perhaps a spring wedding…”

“The details aren’t real important, are they, Mother?  Besides, we have to wait until Lee’s back in town and actually gives me my present.”

“No, the details aren’t important at all.  I just want you to be happy, sweetheart, and it’s obvious that Lee Stetson fills that bill,” Dotty reminded her daughter, patting her arm tenderly.

Amanda’s smile returned.  “He makes me very happy, Mother.  After the divorce, I wasn’t sure I wanted to remarry.  It’s scary to give your heart to someone, but with Lee… he’s worth the risk.”

“Yes, I would agree with you there.”

“I’m looking forward to the new year.”

“I noticed that there’s a little eggnog still in the frig.  How about we split what’s left and celebrate the New Year one more time?”

“That’s a good idea, Mother, I’ll be right down.”

***

A cold chill set in on Washington DC the first week of January.  The sky was bleak with low gray clouds, but no snow fell from them.  There were a series of dreary days, one right after another, with a biting wind.  With Lee still out of town, Amanda focused on finishing the paperwork that they’d put off before the holidays.   She tried to be optimistic, assuming his return was imminent.  Every time she heard a door open or close down the hallway, she expected it to be Lee, sneaking up to the Q Bureau to surprise her.   Unfortunately, it never was Lee on the other side of the door.

It was late in the afternoon on Wednesday and still, no Lee.  Her optimism was faltering.  Organizing her report, she decided to deliver it personally to Mr. Melrose.  Perhaps she could listen to the gossip at the water cooler for potential details.  She doubted she’d be able to wheedle any information from Francine or Mr. Melrose.

When she arrived at the bullpen, it was unusually quiet; there was nobody hanging at the water cooler and Francine wasn’t at her desk.  With little other recourse, she marched towards Billy Melrose's office, knocking on the door, hoping for some answers.

“Come in,” he shouted.

“Hello, Sir,” Amanda greeted cheerily.  “I finished the Dranovich report.  It’s not due until tomorrow, but I needed a change in scenery.  The Q Bureau gets really quiet when Lee’s out of town.”

Billy was working intently on a report and didn’t look up, but answered encouragingly.  “Yes, I’m sure it does.  If you’d prefer, you could take a desk down in the bullpen.  There’s plenty available.  A lot of people aren’t back from Christmas vacation yet,” Billy answered cordially.

“Oh, thank you, sir, but I wasn’t actually complaining, only making an observation.  Lee should be back any day now, right?” she tried to ask nonchalantly, eager for her supervisor to confirm her suspicions.

Billy still hadn’t looked up at Amanda; instead, he continued working on the report.  “I’m sure we’ll hear from him soon.”

Disappointed that he hadn’t confirmed when Lee would be back, she sighed.  “Where would you like the report, sir?”

“You can put it in my ‘In’ box for now.  Thank you, Amanda,” he answered, giving her a brief nod before returning to his project.

Clearly disappointed, Amanda left with nothing more than she’d gone in with.  She took several detours on her way back to the Q Bureau, but the Agency in general seemed to have the blues and it certainly had no ‘buzz’.

That whole week, Amanda got the impression that Mr. Melrose was trying to avoid her.  She continued to hand deliver reports to him, presuming he would tell her that he’d finally heard from Lee and that he was all right, but nothing.  When she caught up on the backlog of overdue reports, she reported to his office to hand the last one in.

“Sir, this is the only remaining report Lee and I owe you,” Amanda explained when she entered his office.

“I appreciate it, Amanda.  Just put it in the ‘In’ box with the others,” Billy answered, this time browsing through some files in the cabinet.

Amanda got the distinct feeling he was trying to brush her off.  Summoning up a little moxie, she asked him directly.  “Sir, I know you can’t tell me where he is, but I haven’t heard from Lee since before Christmas.  I really expected him to be back by now…”

“Amanda, his assignment was need to know.”

“Was, sir?” Amanda asked her heart racing.  “Is he back?”

“Is, Amanda.  His assignment is need to know,” her supervisor corrected.  “I’m sorry I can’t divulge anything else - you know the rules.  I promise, as soon as he’s back, I’ll let you know.”

“Can you at least tell me when he might be back?  I finished everything up in the Q Bureau.”

“I see,” Billy answered, nodding his head.  “You need an assignment.  At the moment, things are quiet around here.  I’m sure Francine would appreciate some help.  She hasn’t caught up since she returned from vacation.”

Amanda noticed that her supervisor had cleverly changed the subject.  “Yes, sir, I’d be more than happy to help out, but…”

“Amanda, sometimes, field operations don’t go as planned and assignments take longer than initially designed, but it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong.”

“I’ll remember that, sir.”

“There’s Francine now,” Billy noted, as the blonde agent had walked into the bullpen, heading towards her desk.  “Take one look at the files piled up on her desk and I know she’d welcome your help.”

Amanda got the message and left Billy’s office, frustrated, but optimistic that Lee was all right.  Billy would have told her if he’d been hurt.  She wasn’t thrilled by the idea she’d have to work with Francine, but at least it would keep her busy.  The thought that kept her going was that Lee might be on his way home.

It was late the next morning and Amanda was running errands for Francine when she saw something that set off alarms in her head.  When Amanda was down on Level Three, dropping off some files, she noticed a familiar face going into an interrogation room.

“Mara?” Amanda called out to the woman.

Mara glanced over at Amanda, but didn’t smile.  She appeared battered and beaten.  The once, pretty woman was obviously tired and truly distressed.  Before Amanda could speak with her, she was ushered into an interrogation room behind closed doors.  Amanda didn’t need to talk with the woman to figure out the details.  Mara was one of Lee’s contacts.  The Agency never brought someone’s contact into the building unless… something was wrong – very wrong.

“Oh my gosh!  Addi Birol?!” Amanda groaned loudly and hurried to the elevator.  She took the elevator up to the entry level, and then rushed up the stairs to the Q Bureau.  Booting the computer, she accessed several files in a panic – desperate for answers.  Accessing the Federal Bureau of Prisons files first, she confirmed that Addi Birol was still behind bars.  It took a while before she steadied her breathing and calmed down.  It still didn’t answer her question as to why Mara Petrak was inside the Agency.  Maybe Lee was back and they hadn’t caught up to each other yet.

“No,” she answered firmly.  “Lee would have called me from the airport.  It was need to know, but not zero contact.”

Apprehensive and puzzled by Mara’s unexpected appearance, she didn’t know where to start searching for answers.  She thought back to her phone conversation with Lee on Christmas Eve.  He’d never given her any reason to worry about where he was going or why he was leaving.  The assignment was overseas, but given Lee’s experience, that wasn’t abnormal.

Accessing the Agency files, Amanda ran a thorough search on the computer, with Lee’s name, then his code name, but nothing came up.  She would have been astounded if it had.  Another search using Mara Petrak’s name also revealed nothing.  She kept trying various combinations, Magda Petrak, Nightcrawler, Karbala, but she kept getting the answer: ‘No matching files’.  The next hour flew by as she hunted for clues, but her investigation turned up nothing.

“There you are!” Francine groused when she burst into the Q Bureau.  “I thought you were supposed to be helping me?  What are you doing hiding up here?”

Amanda was a bit startled by the intrusion, but quickly settled down.  “I’m not hiding, Francine.  I ran your errands and had something I needed to check into up here.  If you wanted me, you could have called up here.”

“I thought you were going to help me with those agent expense reports that are due tomorrow.  I know for sure that there are some questionable expenditures on them.  There are several agents who really abuse their privileges this time of year.”

“I’ll help you sort through them after lunch,” she promised, then decided to question her fellow agent.  “Francine, did you know Mara Petrak is here?”

“No, I haven’t seen her in ages.  I thought the State Department had moved her and Magda out of the area after the Birol incident.  When did you see her?”

“This morning!  She’s here, at the Agency on Level Three.  I saw her going into an interrogation room.”

“Really,” Francine answered with surprise.

“I thought that was against policy, you know, to bring a contact into the Agency.”

Francine shrugged and then hypothesized.  “You said she was in the interrogation room.  Maybe she had some additional information on the Birol case?”

“If that was the case, she would have gone to the Prosecutor’s office, downtown; not here,” Amanda reminded her.  “Besides, I checked the computer; nothing’s new with Birol’s case, other than he’s waiting for an appeal.”

“Maybe she had other information on another case.  Mara had quite a network of friends in the Middle East, if my memory serves me right.  She was one of Lee’s best sources.”

“You know Lee’s out of town.”

“Yeah, Billy told me, which is why you’re supposed to be helping me this week.”

“Francine, I haven’t seen Lee since the Christmas party.  Billy’s tight lipped about where he went or when he’ll be back.  All I know is Lee went overseas shortly after we had a brief phone conversation on Christmas Eve.”

“And that surprises you?  Scarecrow hates Christmas.  I was shocked that he came to the Christmas party.  It was probably more than he could stand.”

“Lee was looking forward to Christmas this year.  He was going to spend Christmas at my house, with my family.”

”Amanda, don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe Lee wasn’t looking forward to Christmas as much as you thought.  I bet he volunteered for whatever assignment Billy had.”

Amanda gritted her teeth at Francine’s lecture.  She couldn’t come out and tell her about their engagement or marriage, but she wanted to all the same.  “I still think Lee’s sudden assignment and Mara’s appearance are linked.”

Francine appeared to be less than convinced.  “It’s possible, but if it’s ‘Need to Know’, Amanda, you’re going to have to wait until Lee comes back.  Even then, he won’t be able to share details with you.”

Wringing her hands anxiously, she answered.  “I have a feeling something’s wrong.”

“Amanda, what you’re feeling is the after Christmas let down.  This cold, dismal weather has you down.  That and you’re tired of being cooped up in the Q Bureau all alone.  That’s probably why Billy assigned you to help me.  Besides, with Scarecrow’s experience and security clearance, last minute assignments happen.  Get used to it.  He’s been on longer assignments than this one.  Hell, he was gone once for almost six months when he…”

“Francine,” Billy interrupted.  “Can I speak to Amanda alone for a few minutes?”

Amanda’s eyes got wide and she stared at Billy Melrose.

“Uh, sure, Billy…” Francine muttered uncomfortably before she hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“This is about Mara, isn’t it?” Amanda asked.

Billy raised his eyebrow.  “How did you know?”

“I was down on Level Three.  I saw her when she went into an interrogation room,” Amanda explained, then swallowed hard.  Then in a hopeful voice, she asked him.  “Is Lee back?”

“No,” he shook his head.

“Mara was Lee’s assignment, wasn’t she?”

Billy glanced around the room before nodding silently.  In a low voice, he answered.  “Technically, this is ‘Need to Know’.  I’m not supposed to brief you on this information.  Nothing can leave this room, Amanda, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Lee was sent to extract Mara from Iraq.  Apparently, things went wrong at the last minute and their plans to exit the country were exposed.  Lee got Mara out, but didn’t make it out yet.  There’s a possibility he’s attempting to cross the border by car where there is no checkpoint, but he might be injured, so it could take time…”

“Injured?”

“According to Mara, there was an exchange of gunfire at the scene while they were being airlifted,” Billy explained in a quiet voice.

Swallowing hard, Amanda suddenly felt sick. “Lee’s been shot.”

“We’re not certain, but it’s a possibility.”

“By whom?”

“We don’t know that either.”

“What exactly do you know for sure?” Amanda croaked out, attempting to reign in the terror she was now overwhelmed with, but failing badly.  She had a bad feeling about what happened.

“I’m afraid, not much.  Amanda, we’re trying to get information, but if we pry too deeply, it could prove deadly for Scarecrow.”

“If you don’t find him soon, it could be deadly for him as well.”

“We have the State Department making some discreet inquiries about an American traveling in the area who is missing.  It will probably take a few days before we can sort it out, but it could be as long as a few weeks.”

“A few weeks?” she groaned.

“Right now, no news is good news.  If they suspected him of spying, it would have probably been on the evening news by now.  Our guess is he has eluded whoever was after him and he’s trying to get across the border.”

“Or he’s being detained,” Amanda suggested.

“That, of course, is a possibility, but since we haven’t heard anything from the Iraqi government, we’re assuming his cover isn’t blown.”

“That’s not the most reassuring assessment, given the current Iraqi government.”

Walking toward her and putting his hand on her shoulder, he tried to comfort her.  “Amanda, I know you’re upset, but be positive.  Scarecrow’s gotten out of deeper trouble before.”

“Sir, Lee’s my partner.  He’s out in the field by himself.  There’s nobody to watch his back.  I should have been with him.”

“No, Amanda.  This was a case he had to handle alone.”

Amanda looked away from her boss.  With each passing day, she had a gnawing feeling that something was terribly wrong.  Since she’d seen Mara, it only corroborated her suspicions.  Apparently, her instincts had been right on track.  “Can I speak with Mara?”

“No, I can’t allow that!  I shouldn’t even be here right now telling you.  Give him some time.  Lee’s resourceful.”

“He’s also in Iraq, Billy.  Please, let me speak with Mara, just for a few minutes.”

“Amanda, I can’t.  Even telling you this much is a breach of security.”

“Sir, I’d never do anything to endanger Lee…”

“This alone is a breach of protocol.”

She turned away from him, trying to maintain some control of her emotions.  “Promise me you’ll let me know if you hear anything from the State Department.”

“I’ll keep you informed on their progress.  Just give it some time.  Are you going to be all right?  If you want, you could take the rest of the day off…”

Amanda shook off the suggestion.  “I’ll be fine.  Besides, I promised Francine that I’d help her with the expense reports.”

Billy Melrose started to leave the office.  He reached for the doorknob and paused. “Amanda, don’t mention what I told you to anyone, even Francine.  This conversation never happened.”

“Yes, sir, I understand,” she replied and watched Billy close the door to the office.  Suddenly, she felt terribly alone, much like, she worried, her husband was, somewhere in Iraq.
 

End Part Three
 
 
 
 

Heartstrings
 

Part Four
 

The days passed slowly that next week.  Amanda anticipated each morning when she checked in with Mrs. Marston that she would be summoned to Billy’s office to be given news that Lee had made it across the border to Saudi Arabia.  Unfortunately, each morning came and went without any news.  She found herself stopping down to visit Francine in the bullpen, hopeful that Billy may have forgotten to contact her.  Of course, he hadn’t; there was no news to share.

Billy had finally assigned her some cases of her own, probably because he was tired of her being underfoot.  They were mostly milk runs.  Easy surveillance jobs that would have bored even the newest agents and they did little to ease her mounting nerves.  She spent many hours taking pictures of suspects or following them around town as they handled their tedious, daily chores.  Nothing she did at work kept her from wondering and worrying about Lee Stetson.

At home, she was irritable and moody.  Normally, she enjoyed her time with her family, but lately everything seemed to get on her nerves.  The boys’ normal antics were driving her crazy.

“Mom, when’s Lee coming back?” Phillip asked as he trudged down the stairs wearing his new ski boots.  “He promised to take me skiing the first time it snowed.”

“You can forget about this snowstorm ’cause he’s not home yet,” Jamie shot back while he stared out the window at the falling snow.  “Besides, it’ll probably be all melted by the weekend.”

“Shut up, bookworm, you’re just jealous since you didn’t get skis for Christmas.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

“Stop it, both of you!” Amanda shouted, losing her cool.  “I’ve had enough.  Lee’s missing somewhere in the Middle East and I really don’t need you two bickering about nothing.  Go to your rooms!”

“Lee’s missing?” the boys chorused together, concerned expressions painted across their faces.

Amanda rubbed her hand across her face, realizing what she had blurted out to her sons.  Her mother had also come into the room, her eyes wide open, waiting for a detailed explanation.

“Amanda, Lee’s really missing?”

She nodded in silence while she tried to buy some time to come up with a plausible explanation.  She wasn’t even supposed to know and now she divulged it to her family.  “All right, everyone sit down; time for a family meeting.”

Jamie jumped over the couch and plunked down closest to Amanda.  Dotty took a chair nearby and Phillip rested on the arm of the couch.

“Where is he in the Middle East, Mom?” Jamie asked.

“Sweetheart, I’m really not sure.  That’s half the problem.  As you know, Lee was sent on an assignment at the last minute.  When they wrapped things up last week, everyone else left the country, but Lee missed his flight.  Nobody seems to know what happened to him,” Amanda explained, carefully mixing the truth with ambiguity.

“Did they check his hotel room?  Maybe he’s been kidnapped?” Phillip inquired anxiously.

Amanda’s face paled at the idea.  “Fellas, I already told you as much as I know.  The State Department is looking into his disappearance, but it could take a while.”

“How long?”

“A few weeks, maybe as long as a month,” Amanda heard herself reciting what Billy Melrose had told her several weeks before.  “You can’t say anything to your friends about Lee being missing, though.  Since he works for IFF and IFF works for the government, and the government has secrets…”

“Was he working on something top secret?” Jamie asked.

“I don’t know, sweetheart.  I wasn’t there.  I wish I had more answers for you all, but I really don’t.  That’s all the news I can tell you, but when I hear anything else, I’ll let you know.  Now, since you want to go out into the snow so badly, why don’t you grab some shovels and start shoveling the driveway and the walk.”

“Ahh, Mom, it hasn’t even stopped snowing!” Phillip grumbled.

“If you start now, it’ll be easier to shovel the rest when it does stop.”

“We can do it tomorrow.  They’ll probably cancel school,” Phillip said.

“There’s not going to be enough snow to close school tomorrow,” Jamie countered.

“You don’t know that…”

“Fellas!  Stop it!” Amanda shouted once more.  “Your brother’s right.  They’re only calling for a few inches.  The snowplows and sanders are already out clearing the roads.  So get shoveling.”

“I’ll make you some hot chocolate for when you’re done,” Dotty said.

“With lots of marshmallows,” Amanda added, thankful for her mother’s suggestion.

The two boys, grumbling under their breath, went in search of their jackets, gloves and hats.  They got dressed and then went outside to start their chore.  Dotty went into the kitchen and began making the hot chocolate while Amanda retrieved the marshmallows.

“Still hiding them, I see,” Dotty commented.

Amanda nodded, putting on a fake smile, but clearly, her heart was heavy.  She handed the bag of marshmallows to her mother and went into the cupboard for some mugs.

Dotty poured the milk into a pan and turned the stove on low, to simmer.  “Did I ever tell you that my great grandfather was a spy for the Union Army during the Civil War?”

Amanda stopped dead in her tracks and almost dropped the mugs she was carrying.  Her mouth hung open wide, but she was at a loss for words.

Dotty quickly grabbed the mugs from her and placed them on the counter.  “I guess I never mentioned it.”

“No, I don’t think you did,” Amanda finally replied.

“He never told anyone until many years later.  He was a life-long Virginian and very proud of his southern heritage, but he knew that a divided Union would never survive.  The South didn’t have the industry the North had.  I was a little girl when he told me the stories about crossing enemy lines at Manassas and Fredericksburg.  There was such bitterness between the North and the South after the war, he didn’t dare tell anyone.  It was only a few years before his death that he told his family.  I was very proud of him and I’m very proud of you.”

Amanda swallowed past the lump in her throat as her eyes filled up with tears.  She leaned against the counter for support.  “How long have you known?”

“I had my suspicions since before you and Lee disappeared together that September.  After the federal agents were crawling all over the house for days, I knew for sure…”

“You never said anything when we got back,” Amanda shrugged.  “Why?”

“My great grandfather had his reasons years ago for keeping silent and I figured you had yours.  Do you want to tell me the real story?” Dotty asked with a raised eyebrow.

Tears began to fall down Amanda’s face.  She choked out, shaking her head.  “There’s so much I want to tell you, but most of it I can’t.”

“Then tell me what you can.  This is too much of a burden for your heart to handle alone, sweetheart.  I’m not asking you to disclose national secrets, but certainly you can manage to tell me what you know about Lee and how you feel…”

“Oh, Mother,” Amanda whispered.  “I’m so afraid something’s happened to him.”

Dotty pulled her daughter to her in a hug and comforted her while she sobbed in her arms.  “Shhhh, sweetheart, it’ll be all right…”

*** ***

February was ultimately ushered in with a warm spell.  Several sunny days that first week made it feel like spring was on its way.  There had been no news on Lee Stetson’s whereabouts, but Amanda tried to remain hopeful.  Her new mantra was, ‘No news is good news’, although she secretly wished he would return before their anniversary.

That first Friday in February, Joe picked up the boys for the weekend. Dotty had gone on a dinner date with Captain Curt and Amanda was home alone for a change.  She planned to watch an old movie on cable.  The kitchen was clean from dinner and the popcorn was ready to pop when the doorbell rang.  Amanda hurried to the door.

“Mr. Melrose,” she greeted when she opened the door.  “Have you found Lee?!”

“Can I come in, Amanda?” he asked evenly.

She nodded, but she knew her supervisor had to have news.  Closing the door behind him, she followed him into the family room.

“Where is he?  Can I see him?” she asked, trying to control her emotions.

Billy nodded his head toward the couch.  “I think you should sit down, Amanda.”

Suddenly, it felt very warm in the room.  Acquiescing to his request, she sat on the edge of the couch as her head spun with questions and concern.  Billy sat down next to her.  His hand gently touched her shoulder.

“Amanda, I have bad news.  We’ve received confirmation today.”  Clearing his throat, his voice was off when the words spewed out.  “Lee was killed in Iraq, from a gunshot wound to his head.  I know this is little comfort, but I’m sure he didn’t suffer…”

“No,” Amanda cried, sinking her head into her hands.  She didn’t hear anything her supervisor said after the word ‘killed’.

Billy pulled her to him and held her while she cried.  He knew better than most what the two of them meant to each other.  It was a long time before her painful sobs ended.   Billy handed her a handkerchief.

Blowing her nose and drying her eyes she asked.  “Where is he?  I want to see him.”

“Amanda, his body was found in Baghdad.”

“Sir, how can we be sure it’s Lee?”

“It corroborates what Mara Petrak told us in her interrogation – that there was a gun battle.  Rumors were circulating for the last week, but I didn’t want to say anything to you until I had definitive proof.  The State Department was given photographs of the body as well as fingerprints.  They match Lee Stetson.  I’ve read the report.  There’s no doubt in my mind.”

“He deserves a proper burial,” she insisted.

“I know this is very difficult for you, Amanda, but the Iraqis have already… buried it.  Lee was over there with false ID, if he had any ID on him at the time he was picked up.  Besides, if the State Department gets too insistent, they may start asking more questions as to who Lee was and why he was there.  That could damage already shaky relations with our two countries…”

“I don’t give a damn about relations with Iraq.  You come into my home and tell me that…” she paused while she battled her frayed emotions, “that my partner is dead and I should accept it with no proof.”

“I’ve seen the pictures…”

“Then let me see them!” Amanda demanded.

“That’s not something I would recommend,” Billy counseled wisely.

Amanda wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath.  Her worst fears had come true.  She had to see them for herself, regardless of how bad it was.  “You have the pictures with you, don’t you?”

Billy nodded, but didn’t move.

“Let me see them.”

“Amanda, I want you to remember Lee Stetson alive and happy; the man who cared deeply about you.  Not a body with a bullet in his head.”

“I need to see the proof that he’s dead, Billy.  Lee wouldn’t settle for anything less if it was me, and I’m not going to settle for anything less for him.”

“Amanda, trust me, not as your supervisor, but as your friend…”

She glared at him.  “I want to see them!”

“They’re out in the car.”

“Go get them…” she hissed.

Billy got up, walked to the door and went back outside.  A few minutes later, he returned with a file.

Amanda hadn’t budged from her spot on the couch.  Her arms were folded across her chest, her hands holding the opposite elbow and her head was staring down at her lap.  Her body was shaking; the tight grip she had on her arms couldn’t stop it.  Thinking about what she was about to see only made her shake more, but she had to be sure – for Lee’s sake as well as her own.

“I really believe you should reconsider.”

Not saying a word, she held out her trembling hand for the file.  Billy held it tightly for a few more seconds before reluctantly releasing his grasp.

Placing it on the coffee table in front of her, Amanda stared at it intensely for a few moments, trying to build up the courage to open it.  Biting her lower lip, she took a deep breath before opening up the file.

First was the report from the State Department.  Certain words on the page stung harshly: deceased male, Caucasian, age 35-45, gunshot wound to the head.  The first photo was of a man’s body, lying on a slab.  Without a doubt, it was a picture of her husband, Lee Stetson.  His body limp and lifeless; his eyes were closed, as if he was sleeping; only he wasn’t.  The second photo was a close up shot of his head and the wound.

Picking up the second photograph with shaking hands, she brought it closer to her eyes for further inspection.  Her fingers carefully caressed it, while tears streamed down her face.  His skin was a sickening shade of gray.  A single wound marred his forehead, near his hairline, apparently from a bullet.  Closing her eyes, she put the picture back on the table.

Billy shut the file before picking it up, clutching it tight in his hands.  “Amanda, I know how much he loved you.”

The room was engulfed in silence.  Amanda’s pain was palpable.  It was a few minutes before Amanda could speak.

“Lee warned me that it could end like this…” Amanda whispered hoarsely, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“Lee didn’t want to go on this assignment.  He pleaded with me to find someone else to go, but it was Mara and he owed her…” Billy explained, choking on his own words.

“Sir, I know you’re trying to be supportive, but,” Amanda interrupted, swallowing hard.  “I’d really rather to be alone.”

Billy cocked his head to the side.  “Amanda, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.  You really shouldn’t be by yourself right now.”

“I’ll be fine.  Besides, my mother will be home shortly.”

“Wouldn’t you prefer if I waited with you?  I could tell her for you.”

“No, sir, chances are when Mother gets home and sees my face, she’ll know,” Amanda whispered.

“I’ll call you in the morning.  I’d like your input for a memorial service at the Agency.”

Amanda nodded and stood up.  She walked to the door and Billy followed her.  He gave her one last hug before he went back to his car.  She didn’t wait until he got to his car.  Instead, she closed the door mechanically and leaned against it for strength while her body wracked in painful sobs.

*** **** **** ****

Friday, February 12th, 1988

It was the weekend they planned to celebrate their first anniversary; instead, Amanda sat at Lee Stetson’s memorial service.  The room was crowded with his fellow agents and friends.  The tributes to him were wonderful: Billy, Harry Thornton, T.P., Francine were just a few of the people who spoke about him.  Amanda laughed and cringed at the shared stories, but silently mourned the truth that she’d never see her husband again.

Francine and the other agents had been gracious, knowing that she’d been Scarecrow’s partner in the field, but none of them knew the truth – that she was Mrs. Lee Stetson.  When the service finally ended, Francine caught up to her as she was leaving.

“Amanda, why don’t you come with us down to Randy’s?  I’m sure you could use a drink.”

“Thanks for the invitation, Francine, but I think I’ll pass.”

Francine shook her head.  “You know, Lee would want you to have a drink to celebrate his life.”

Nodding, Amanda agreed.  “He would, wouldn’t he?  Maybe I’ll stop by in a little while.”

“I’ll be looking for you,” Francine said before she left.

Amanda wanted to go back to the Q Bureau.  It was still one of the few places that she felt a connection to Lee.  So much of their relationship developed in the hours that they’d spent there.

Returning to their office, she noticed for the first time that the walls, in the hallway needed cleaning.  In fact, they really needed to be repainted.  She shook her head wondering how she never noticed it before.

When she unlocked the Q Bureau, the room was eerily silent.  His desk was empty of all his personal things.  Amanda had cleaned it out over the week, keeping many of the sentimental items.  This room had been their cocoon from the real world of espionage and subterfuge.  It was neither her house, nor his apartment, but their office.  It was the one space in their crazy life that they truly shared.  Pulling out his chair, she sat in it.  Glancing around the room at the walls, she noticed this office was in need of a painting as well.  Somehow, the room, without Lee in it, was less inviting.

The memories of Lee and the times they had shared flooded her mind and brought a smile to her face.  The first time they actually kissed was in this room.  Francine had caught them in compromising positions several times.  Amanda chuckled.  It all seemed so long ago and hiding their love for one another seemed so childish…

“Amanda?” Billy called to her again.

“Mr. Melrose!” she gasped, surprised by the intrusion into her private thoughts.  “I’m sorry; I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I figured you might be up here.”

Running her hand across Lee’s desk, almost caressing it, she nodded.  “This place brings back a lot of happy memories.”

“I can imagine.”

“I should thank you for putting together such a touching memorial service.”

“It was a fitting tribute to a wonderful man and a good friend.  He will be truly missed,” Billy glanced around the room, appearing somewhat uncomfortable.  “How are you doing?”

She sighed.  Normally, she would plaster on a fake smile and lie, but she didn’t have the fortitude.  “I’m…managing.”

“You’re a courageous woman, Amanda King.  I think you’re holding up remarkably well.”

“Am I?” she shrugged, slumping at the desk, her eyes watery, feeling lost in her sorrow.  “There are moments that I don’t think I can make it through another day without him.  If it weren’t for mother and the boys, I don’t think I could…”

“The hardest part of this job is coping when you lose an agent, a partner…”  Billy started to say, but then he choked up.  It was a few moments before he could speak.  “Amanda, there’s a lot I’d like to say, to tell you, but for the most part, words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss.  I know how much he loved you.”

“I loved him, too.”

“You changed him.  You made him a better person, a better agent.”

“We were a good team.”

“He really didn’t want to go on that assignment.  He pleaded with me not to send him, to find someone else, but when he found out it was Mara…”

“I know; he had to go.  Mara almost died at the hands of Birol, because of me.  Lee felt that he had to repay his debt.”  Amanda comprehended Lee’s decision to go.  Then standing up, she stared out the window, before continuing.  “The day I saw Mara down on Level Three, I knew something dreadful had happened.  I could see it in her eyes – she knew.  I kept telling myself he hadn’t been killed, but with each passing day, my mind accepted what my heart didn’t want to believe.”

Billy crossed the room and stood only inches from her.  Placing a hand on her shoulder, he turned her so she was facing him.  “Time was of the essence when he left.  He wanted to see you, but there was barely enough time for a phone call.  When we got to the army base, he realized he still had this with him.  Lee was going to give you this on Christmas Eve.”  Billy reached into his pocket and took out a small box.

Amanda knew what was in the box.  She’d wondered where it was the last few weeks.  Now, her hands trembled when she took the blue box from her supervisor.  “My engagement ring…”

“You knew?” He questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Tears trickled down her face as she opened the box up.  She sniffled and swallowed hard.  “We’d been discussing marriage for a while…  Christmas seemed like the ideal time for an engagement.”

“You two would have made the perfect couple.”

She put the ring on the desk and sat down.  Putting it on without Lee here seemed pointless.  Her heart was aching; grief was difficult under normal circumstances, but with the lies they’d lived with for so many months, it only magnified her anguish.  “We shouldn’t have waited so long.  There were so many close calls: when I was kidnapped and then Lee was injected with PD2.  We wasted so much time.”

“Don’t blame yourself.  Marriage is a big step, Amanda.  It’s a complex commitment and given the circumstances with your jobs, it was even more complicated.  You had to wait until Lee was ready,” Billy counseled.

“It wasn’t only Lee who wanted to wait.  We were concerned about whether you’d split up our partnership, but most of all, we worried about the risk to my family.  In the end, we couldn’t deny how we felt towards each other anymore and we couldn’t continue to hide it.”

“I’m sorry you two didn’t have more time together.”

“We were always trying to hide our feelings, at first from each other and in the end from everyone else.”

“The important thing was that Lee knew how much you loved him and you knew how much he loved you, Amanda.”

A small smile crept across her face.  “You’re right, sir.”

“You know, Lee wouldn’t want you to be alone right now.  How about you come with me down to Randy’s?  I’d like to make one last toast to Lee,” Billy encouraged.

Amanda nodded.  “Yeah, he would have liked that.”

Amanda picked up the box that contained her engagement ring and slipped it into her purse.  She turned out the light and locked the door, knowing that an important chapter in her life had ended.

End Part Four

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