Disclaimer: Please see THE ANNOUNCEMENT

Summary: Jenny’s wedding day brings both joy and tears to Lee and Amanda. It’s not easy for Lee to let his little girl go.

LETTING GO -R-7

By Becky C.

(Rockville, Maryland 2012)

Amanda sighed and peered out the dining room window at the light coming from the barn. Should she join Lee or leave him alone to work through his thoughts and emotions from the day’s activities? Usually the barn, especially the hayloft, was his place to sort through situations by himself before discussing them with family or friends. Normally, Amanda and the kids tried to give him the time and solitude he sought.

This evening was different. She needed to know what he was feeling while she worked through her own thoughts. Today Lee had walked their daughter, Jenny, down the aisle, and when asked "Who gives this woman to this man in marriage?" had replied "Her mother and I". Four little words that gave the responsibility of her care to someone else and filled her parents’ hearts simultaneously with joy and sadness.

A slight noise awoke her from her thoughts. "It was a happy day, wasn’t it?" Murphy Michaels stated gently as he came up behind her.

Amanda nodded in reply.

"And a very hard day," he continued just as gently.

Amanda nodded again as she turned to face him.

"Lee headed out to the barn about thirty minutes ago. Something about tending the animals." Pausing just for a second, Murphy took a deep breath. "Didn’t say it, but I think the main animal he wanted to look after was Jenny’s filly."

"Guess if your daughter isn’t around, maybe looking after her horse helps to fill the gap," he suggested with a slight tease.

Tears stung Amanda’s eyes as she acknowledged his observation with a slight smile.

"Yeah. I was just wondering if I should join him or leave him alone."

"Well, speaking as a dad..." Murphy advised. "There are times when a man needs to sort stuff out on his own, but when it comes to a daughter... a mom’s input is very helpful. Why don’t you go feel him out. Trust me," he added dryly. "if Scarecrow wants to be alone, you’ll find out quick enough."

Amanda laughed out loud at Murphy’s insightfulness, gave him a quick hug and went to join her husband..

At the creaking of the opening barn door, Lee Stetson looked up. His cousin had guessed correctly. Buttons, Jenny’s filly, was receiving a very thorough brushing. Seeing his wife, he smiled weakly. "We’ve been so busy the last few days that Jenny asked me to spend some time with Buttons while they're on their honeymoon."

"You know this horse is really going to miss our daughter," he sighed. "Even though she’ll only be thirty minutes away and plans on coming back as much as possible to ride it won’t be the same."

"I know," Amanda replied softly as she walked slowly over and placed her hand on the filly’s forehead. "I remember how she pined every time Jenny went off to summer camp. Good thing they decided to stay close by. Don’t think this horse would have handled it very well. They’ve had a very special relationship." She watched her husband out of the corner of her eye and saw Lee pause in the brushing. "In fact," she continued, "Remember how Jenny would come out and take Buttons for a ride or put her through her paces when she was feeling upset or confused about something? I don’t think anything could get our daughter up and going again quicker than to laugh at one of this horse’s pranks or just petting her soft muzzle and giving her a hug.... Anything except spending some good time with you or me or... Josh."

Lee’s head came up, and for the first time he looked Amanda straight in the eye. Then to her surprise he asked bluntly. "Do you think he loves her enough?"

"Whaaat?" Amanda asked in amazement. "Lee, they’ve dated for four years. He adores her. I couldn’t be happier with her choice of a husband."

"Yeah," Lee sighed and gave the horse a firm brush stroke across the top of its back. "I know. Josh is a great kid."

For a few minutes Amanda leaned against the stall’s gate and watched her husband physically work out the concern for his daughter’s future that lay uncharacteristically unmasked across his face. Then she quietly moved across the enclosure and lay her hand on top of his as he removed it from the brush and patted the filly’s rump. Looking deep into his eyes, she gently asked. "If today, as her daddy, you had the chance to do one thing to insure Jenny’s future happiness, what would it be?"

His gaze turned so intense so quickly she unconsciously loosed his hand and stepped back slightly. Then just as quickly it turned gentle and his answer brought a lump to her throat. "That twenty-five years from now she thinks of her marriage the way I think of ours… the best thing that ever happened to me." Like gushing water, his hopes and concerns poured out. "Things haven’t always been easy for us or gone the way we wanted, but there hasn’t been one day since I promised to love, honor and cherish you that I’ve regretted taking those vows. I just wished I’d been ready to do them sooner. I know we’ve discussed how our marriage started off stronger than most because of all the things we both worked through during those first three years, but I still remember all the times I wanted to reach out to you, didn’t, and ended up a little lonelier for it."

Patting the filly one last time, he walked under its neck and stretched out his hand for Amanda to take as he exited the stall. Walking to a nearby post he leaned against it and took her other hand in his. "We almost only had part of a weekend… barely two nights and a day." He stated soberly.

"Lee?" Amanda whispered as she watched a multitude of emotions work their way from his eyes, to his jaw and then to ever so slightly trembling lips.

"But in that short time," he answered huskily. "You taught me what the term "making love" means. I don’t ever remember feeling so safe… so loved for just who I am." He bowed his head and gently rubbed his thumbs over hers. "Like a child coming home." Raising his head, he gave her a look that broke her heart. "And I’d been gone for a very long time."

"Oh, Lee," Amanda choked out, taking him in her arms.

For a moment, he buried his face in the silky familiarity of her hair. Then he whispered against her ear. "Will he make her feel that way? Safe…secure. Like she’s found the place she really belongs."

Amanda tightened her hold and gave thanks once again for the chance to love and be loved by this strong yet sensitive man. Experience, the greatest teacher, had shown her the difference it made in a marriage. Then following his lead, she whispered back, "You mean like her father did for me?"

Drawing back, she smiled lovingly up at him. "I think the answer lies in something Jenny told me today when we were alone, and I was adjusting her veil." His eyes were emotionally weary but interested. "I was telling her about our wedding day and how happy I was she and Josh didn’t have all the secrecy and its limitation like we did, but even with that we were so happy just to finally be able to start our lives together. I told her I hoped she’d be as happy being his wife as I’ve been being yours." She watched closely for a relaxation in his expression and found it. "Wanna know what she said?"

He nodded hopefully.

"She looked at me and positively glowed. Then she said, "Oh, Momma don’t you know why I’m marrying Josh? It’s because he’s so much like Daddy. I’ve always wanted to marry someone who would love me like Daddy loves you, and I think I am.""

Lee looked down at Amanda in astonishment. "Josh and I have had some talks but I never…" He shook his head in wonderment. "She’s marrying him because he reminds her of me…of us?"

"Yeah," Amanda smiled back. "And I think she’s right. Maybe that’s why I like him so much, and I’m so confident in her choice." Reaching up she gave him a quick kiss, "I’m going to miss her not being here, but knowing why she married him makes letting go easier."

As Lee listened to her, his features melted from worry to relief. "Sure does." Then giving her a bear hug, he laughingly added. "Makes it a lot easier."

THE END

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