Archive: Robin’s site only. Please do not reproduce or distribute without my permission.

Time Frame: I have always believed that Lee and Amanda would have been publicly married by the end of the summer after their secret wedding. This story takes place soon after their engagement is announced with only Amanda’s family, Billy and Francine knowing they are already married. The boys are spending some time with their dad, and Dotty is at Aunt Lillian’s. Lee and Amanda are in a transition to their new non-field related jobs, and finally have Amanda’s house to themselves for a few days..

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Rivulets of water ran down the car’s windshield hampering Amanda Stetson’s view of the passing Arlington scenery, and inviting the tears, swimming so close to the edges of her eyes, to join them in their downward spiral. It hadn’t been his fault. He had done nothing wrong. In fact, she couldn’t think of any way he could have handled the situation better.

Her fingers retrieved a Kleenex out of her purse. Turning towards the window, she blew her nose and tried to discreetly blot her eyes. Hopefully he’d attribute her actions to the slight allergy problem that had been bothering her the past two days and nothing more. Giving him a quick glance, she inadvertently caught his eye. He gave her a small smile before they both turned their attention back to the increasingly slick streets.

Then she felt it... his hand slowly enfolding hers. The simple act had never lost its ability to affect her in some way, ever since the first time he’d done it almost four years ago. Tonight it conveyed security as the intimacy of him intertwining their fingers made its way from her hand to her heart. When she felt him lift her hand and gently apply his warm soft lips to its surface, its message couldn’t have been clearer. We’re married. I’m not going anywhere.

Lee opened the back door for his wife, stepping aside so she could enter. The skies had been clear and sunny that morning. Later as dark clouds began to build, the weatherman had warned of possible severe weather that evening. Lee sighed as he watched his wife quietly remove her coat and hang it in the utility room to dry. They were home, a place that not only gave them shelter from fluctuating weather patterns but made them feel safe and secure in the process.

That’s what she needed right now, but not from the house. But what could he do or say that he hadn’t already done on more than one occasion?

"Would you like for me to build a fire in the fireplace?" he asked hopefully. "We could change into something more comfortable and just spend some time together relaxing on the couch?"

She turned back slightly before heading towards the stairs. "Thanks, but it’s been a long day. I think I’ll just go to bed. We have that meeting with T.P. first thing in the morning."

Watching her wearily climb the stairs, he silently cursed the day’s events. Damn it, when he found out who had started that office betting scorecard on how long he’d stick around before getting tired of the "normal" life and reverting back to the old Scarecrow, there’d be hell to pay. He had an idea who it was, and the individual’s superior owed Lee several big favors. Also, the people who had already signed it weren’t going to get off very lightly either.

They’d stopped by the Agency right before quitting time. They were suppose to be on the first day of a two day fact finding mission, but Amanda had remembered a file that she wanted to look over before they went back out tomorrow. He’d never forget the look on her face when they’d accidentally come across the document by the coffee machine in the bullpen. He would, however, forever remember the quiet that settled over the room and the absolute fear on the faces of those who’d already placed their bets.

It couldn’t have happened at a worse time. The initial joy of announcing their upcoming wedding had been tainted by voices from his past. Since the word had gotten out about their engagement, she had witnessed too many calls and messages from his old girlfriends. A couple had congratulated him, but most asked him to give them a call when he changed his mind. Some even let him know a wedding ring shouldn’t keep him from having a good time. The rolling eyes and smile of resignation she’d greeted them with in the beginning, had faded away to a pained expression.

If they hadn’t been enough, tonight for the second time in two weeks an old girlfriend had approached them at a function. Only this time it was different; Crystal had asked if he still had her robe and, if so, when she could come over to see if it still fit. Amanda had been a few feet away making a selection from the food table. Before he could introduce her, Crystal had started a diatribe of being out of the country and looking forward to picking back up where they’d left off. Hearing him identify Amanda as his fiancée only seemed to make the stakes more interesting to her.

Damn this stupid secret marriage. In two months, more than just their family, Billy and Francine would know Amanda as Mrs. Stetson. It couldn’t happen soon enough. If he’d learned anything... his climb up the stairs came to an abrupt stop. That was it! He quickened his ascent with new hope and purpose.

Opening the bedroom door, he shook his head as he watched his wife slide the light blue nightgown he’d just bought her over her head. "I knew that mannequin didn’t do it justice," he said playfully.

She turned and gave him a halfhearted smile before beginning to take the pins out of her hair. "It’s beautiful. Thank you."

Having divested himself of his coat and tie, he undid his shirt as he walked over to put his arms around her. Studying their reflection in the mirror, he whispered, "you make it beautiful" before lowering his lips to the curve of her neck.

She leaned against him slightly and automatically replied. "I bet you..." Her voice died off and the smile slipped away as her words surprised her as much as him. He felt her shoulders shake as they loosen the tears she’d tried so hard to hide since leaving work.

Turning her around quickly, he cradled her slender form against his chest. "Oh, Amanda," he moaned. "Yes, I’ve told women in nightgowns they were beautiful and on a few occasions I’d bought the gowns myself. You have every right to be hurt by what happened today at work, and meeting the owner of that stupid robe couldn’t have happened at a worse time." Pausing for a moment he decided to play his new trump card and prayed it wouldn’t backfire on him.

Resting his head on top of hers, he stated. "After she left, I thought about some of the times she and I had together." He expected and felt his wife’s body stiffen. "And you know what I remember most?"

Her lack of response also met his expectations. "She didn’t fit... none of them did. Not Eva, not Dorothy, not Leslie, not Crystal... none of them." He felt a slight loosening of his wife’s backbone as he gently rubbed his hand up and down its length.

"Some of their hands were so small that I could barely tell they were there when I held them. There’s never been a minute that I’ve held your hand in mine and not been completely aware of it." A touch more relaxation on her part. "The first time we danced at that stupid masquerade party I couldn’t ignore how perfectly you fit into my arms. Your body just seemed to melt into mine." Her breathing slowed. "I love the way I can hold you like this and lay my head next to yours." Reaching under her chin, he raised her head slightly. "I can easily reach your forehead." His lips found a place right below her hairline. "And your head fits wonderfully on my shoulder when I kiss your lips."

Leaning back against the bed’s footboard, he pushed her away slightly before continuing, "But it’s much more than the physical. None of them fit into my life like you have. Whether by luck or fate, you came in against my will and filled up the empty spots both professionally and privately."

Her eyes grew wide at his next statement. "Not even Eric was as good a partner as you." He took her hands in his. "He was a great friend and partner, but...."

She watched him search desperately for the right words. "We made a great team," he spoke slowly and deliberately. "But we didn’t make a… whole."

He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I don’t know any other way to say it. I was a good agent before you came along. I’m a much better agent now." His eyes searched hers for understanding. "You’ve increased my strengths and filled in my weaknesses. Billy might have seen it first, but no one is more aware of it now than I am."

He reached up and kissed her gently. "Dating all those women has shown me what I don’t want. Seeing them again reminds me of what it was like before I was smart enough to finally reach out to you, not what I’m missing by being married to you."

"That’s why it took me so long." The sincerity in his voice and face couldn’t be denied. "As long as we were just friends, I could keep you in my life in some safe form, but once we crossed that the line there wasn’t going to be any going back. We were either going to make it or we weren’t, and the thought of us not making it scared me more than never knowing if we could." The firmness in his voice strengthened. "It still does."

Finally, she spoke. "Yeah, I know. Wanting to be with you didn’t keep me from being scared about trying either."

"None of them loved me, Amanda," Lee said hoarsely.  "Some cared more than others, but I don’t think most of them knew any more about what that word meant than I did." He brought her hand to his lips. "None of them ever brought me a Thanksgiving meal or..." A note of sadness crept into his voice. "Or cared enough to look past the walls I’d built around myself to the person I could be." The hope in his eyes brought a new type of lump to her throat. "The person I’ve become and want to be...especially when it’s about being a husband to you and a father to Jamie and Phillip."

His lips slightly trembled, and he vainly tried to clear his throat to rid it of an unfamiliar huskiness. "And none of them looked past those walls to the lonely little boy hiding behind them and in just the right way let him know it was okay to come out." His jaw tightened as he fought for control. "His parents still weren’t there, but the person he needed now was." He took a ragged breath, "And no matter what some people, who don’t have any faith in us, say or do it’s better than he ever imagined it could be."

His eyes pleaded with her to finally put her insecurities behind her. "I can only put my past behind me if you let it stay there. It won’t matter what I do if you allow it to influence our present and future."

Words failed the woman who amazed people with how much she could say between breaths. Reaching out, she drew her hand down her husband’s cheek, along his jaw line and let it rest on his shoulder. "Is the offer of the couch and fireplace still available?"

"Anytime you’re ready," he replied huskily.

"Then why don’t you finish changing into something more comfortable, and I’ll meet you down there?" She suggested, her voice filled with the promise of an enjoyable ending to the evening.

"I’ve got a better idea, what if..." He whispered leaning forward and placing a kiss in the middle of her chest. Her hands wrapped themselves lightly around his head and neck as he kissed his way up to the valley of her throat... his actions finishing his sentence.

"Hmmm... perfect," she heard him breathe warmly against her skin. "If I’m standing and lean down I find your lips. If I sit down and reach up, I find the curves of your neck. If I simply lean forward, I..."

His words were cut off by her laughter. Looking up, he saw the light had returned to dance in her eyes. "This inventory could take all night."

"No." Shaking his head, he ran his hands up her back and drew her to him as he stood. "More like a lifetime."

Her eyes fastened onto his. "Sounds like something you might want to stick around for."

"I intend to," he nodded as he tightened his arms around her.

"I know." She smiled up at him with a new understanding as she felt her hands automatically move to the spots that gave her the best leverage to pull him closer, one in the small of his back and the other between his shoulder blades. "I know," she repeated as she stretched up slightly and found his lips within easy reach of her own.

No end in sight here folks!

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