Pairing: A/C; Cordelia POV
Rating: R
Content: Fluff, mush, romantic musings, and some sexy fun. Picks up at the end of All that Matters: Angel.
Disclaimer: The characters were created by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, the WB, and some other corporate entities have all rights to them. I am just borrowing them for my own amusement.
Distribution: Anywhere with previous archiving permission. Anyone else, please ask.
Feedback: Makes me one happy puppy.
Author's Notes: I wanted to write a "morning after" scene that was fully of nutty, fluffy goodness. Not enough plotage to make it it's own part to the series, so here we have the infamous "companion piece", a.k.a., read it if you want, but you won't be lost if you don't. For funzies, I wrote one from Angel's POV, one from Cordy's POV.
~All That Matters: Cordelia~
By Christie
Your cool hand on my back draws me into wakefulness. I've been teetering on the brink of dreamland for some time now, not willing to come into full reality for fear that I'll be alone in my bed at home, and not in your arms which is where I so desperately want to be.
But I feel you touch me, and as I come further and further out of sleepyland, I feel you everywhere else too. Your body is hard and cool underneath mine, and I love the heavy weight I'm wrapped around in your dark room while the storm rages on outside.
It just seems right. I don't know why we didn't figure this out before.
Well, I know why. Soul, curse, all that stuff aside, you still left Buffy for reasons that do not escape me. You will always brood about what you can't be, what you can't give. I don't admonish you that; I know you love as fiercely as you fight. And when you love, it's forever.
But I want so much for you to know that I am more than willing to sacrifice what you can't give me: sunlight. I don't care about it enough to be willing to lose your companionship in return. What you can give me far outweighs what you can't. You give me happiness. Contentment. Love.
You give me so much of yourself every day, and you don't even know it. You understand me, and when you don't, you accept me anyway. Do you know what a special gift that is? You're the only person in my life willing to do that. It's called unconditional love, and I've never met a man more willing than you to give it.
So if I have to lay out by the pool without you, it's worth it. As long as I can come back inside and know you're there. As long as I can feel this comfortable, cool weight against me every night as I sleep. As long as I know you're not going to walk off into the night and give up what we have, forever.
I don't know that, and I'm afraid. Part of me thinks if you can walk away from Buffy, you can surely walk away from me.
I don't want to think about it, now. I only want to be here, waking up with you.
When I finally open my eyes, you're already looking at me. Have you not slept? You're smiling, dark pools that are your eyes sparkling. You are so beautiful when you smile. I wish you'd do it more often. Oh, you're hot all the time. That's not even a question. But when you smile, it's radiant. Makes me smile every time, no matter what.
"You're so beautiful, Cordelia."
It's the first thing you say to me. You look almost as surprised as I must look to hear you say it. Tears jump to my eyes before I can even blink. That's what you're thinking as I wake up, hair tangled about my face, probably a drool mark on my chin. That is so like you.
I love you so much, I can't stand it. If I say it in my head enough times, will you read my mind? I don't know if I can say it out loud. I don't think there are words in the english language that will do what I feel for you justice.
I sit up, and it's hard, because for some reason I feel the need to be modest and cover myself. It makes no sense to me, since you saw me all kinds of naked earlier, but I still can't bring myself to prance around in front of you in the buff. You want to laugh at me, all struggling like I am to keep the sheet covering me, I can see it in your face. That little smirk isn't going to last long, because I can't resist the urge to kiss those lips. I kind of ignore the sheet as I lean up to you, and it doesn't really matter because as soon as my lips touch yours, you growl--do you know you do that?--and toss me underneath you.
The sheet is long gone, but I've got something much more inviting covering me now. You're wonderfully cool, and I wonder if my skin feels hot to you. You must like it, cause you're always saying how you miss the warmth of being human. And I can feel your arousal pressing into my stomach. It makes me all tingly inside and I press up toward you, wanting us closer than before.
Kissing you has become a challenge of sorts for me. I can feel myself begin to seriously lack air, but I never want to pull away. Your tongue strokes against mine like it's your greatest quest, like you just can't wait to discover something you might have missed last time we kissed. Your hands, they always go to cup my face, which I just love, and you grip my cheeks and the back of my head like you can't get close enough to me.
You sure as hell know how to kiss so it makes a girl feel like she's the only woman in the world you could ever fathom wanting. I guess 248 years of experience would give a guy something to go on.
I have to pull away. It sucks, but sufforcating would probably suck worse. I can't seem to let go of you though, so I pull you into a hug. It's stupid, but you don't seem to mind, and I love holding you close to me. I can feel you rubbing up against the fire between my thighs, and I wish I could hold you there forever.
This is the absolute best. How Buffy ever let you go, I'll never know.
You do pull back, finally, but not away, and I'm glad. I would have had to reach out for you and beg you not to leave if you tried to go anywhere. And I hate begging. Though in the right situation, it could be kind of fun...
Right now though, I'm not ready for you to go anywhere. I'm not positive enough that you're going to come back. I'm not even 100% positive that I'm not going to wake up at any second and you won't be here. Hovering above me, in all your beautifulness.
"I can't believe this is real."
I didn't mean to say it out loud, but it doesn't matter. We were so quiet, and so comfortable laying like that together, it made me feel like I could tell you anything. As long as it made you kiss me the way you do, I really don't care if I'd just recited the pledge of allegiance. You're stealing tiny kisses from my lips, my cheeks, my nose. So cute about it. It's just too bad so many people miss out on this side of you. You can be playful if you want to, and wicked cute when you set your mind to it. You know it too, which is the funniest thing of all. You try to pretend like you don't, that your cluelessness is all novel, but I know better. Still, you're cute.
"It's real," you whisper, settling yourself against me.
Comfort winds its way into my senses as your lips press against mine, your tongue easing its way into my mouth. It's the slowest, most sensual kiss I've ever experienced, and when you pull away, I only want to force your mouth back down to me and make you do it again and again.
More kisses just like it follow; I just have to be patient, because while you were ravenous last night, now, you're slow, and passionate, and completely wonderful. Everything you do seems drawn out, and the pleasure goes on and on. I think I might die before we actually get to do it.
I know you sense me, you seem to sense everything I want and need, exactly when I want and need them. How can you be so perfect?
Oh right, you're a vampire. A tad to the left of perfect.
Small detail. Easily overlooked.
Usually.
I certainly forget it when you enter me; in fact, I forget everything including my own name. God, you are absolutely amazing. You're still keeping everything slow, tantalizingly drawn out, and I wonder how much longer I can take this. We join together, bodies moving against silken sheets as one; my steady moans and your low, deep growls mingling with the sound of the pattering rain.
Right now, the sky could fall, and nothing would draw me out of this invariable bliss. The only thing that matters is being here in your arms. It's warm, and safe, and the most comfortable place I've ever been. I love it here.
I'm staying here. Forever.
End.
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