Sudden Change of Heart (or, Liam and his Sweetie)

Part Three of the ‘If Without You, Not At All’ series

By Thursday’s Child

Spoilers: To Shanshu in LA

Category: A/C, Romance….Fluffy Romance, no angst! (Okay, maybe a tiny slice)

Summary: Ever since ‘the kiss’, Angel and Cordelia have been avoiding each other. Cordelia’s becoming more pissed, and Angel’s becoming way too depressed. Angel heads over to Cordy’s to sort everything out, and once again, things don’t go the way he planned.

Rating: R-ish…there’s a little bit of sex, but not in detail, so if you can handle a cuss word or two, and a mild sex scene, you’re good to go!

Disclaimer: Angel, Cordelia and Wesley are property of Joss Whedon, the wonderful people at the WB and numerous others whom I know nothing about. I simply couldn’t help but write for them. Sue me if you like, I don’t mind, I like it;)

Feedback: Yes Please!!! Give me my fix because37@hotmail.com PLEASE!!!! (Insert deep ragged breathing).

Author’s Corner: This is by no means the last story of this series. I just can’t leave these two alone. I know it ends kind of abruptly, but more is on the way, promise!

Sudden Change of Heart (or Liam and his Sweetie)

The door swung open, and Angel was faced with a look that could kill him, if he weren’t already dead. As he was, the look was about the set him on fire. Cordelia was pissed. He stepped inside, trying to ignore the daggers she was shooting at him. “We need to talk.”

“You think?”

Angel sighed, sinking into the couch and letting his eyes fall shut, “Yes.”

“I’m glad you’ve finally deemed that important!” She growled, stomping across the room. “Because I could’ve told you that a week ago…oh! But wait, you were too busy avoiding me, for something YOU did!”

“Cordelia, I’m sorry. I never meant to…”

“To what? Angel? Did you mean to ruin everything we had? Did you mean to kiss me and take off? Leave me scared and lonely? Is that what you didn’t mean to do?” She demanded.

“No! No, I shouldn’t have kissed you…It was wrong, and unfair.”

“Damn strait!” Finally, she sat herself, perching on the arm of the couch.

He grinned despite himself as he watched her trying to catch her reflection in the window. “Cordelia,” He sobered, “Look, I…what can I do to make it alright?”

Immediately, he knew he’d said something wrong. She pursed her lips, and narrowed her eyes and her arms crossed over her chest. “It’s not that simple, Angel. You think you can…” her voice was snatched away and twisted into a painful groan. She doubled over, falling into his lap and letting out a low whimper.

Angel pulled her into his arms, holding her to his chest and smoothing her hair from her face. She gripped his shirt, twisting it in her agony. “Angel, stop it! Oh, please?” He could feel the hot tears running down her cheek.

He just held her tighter, cursing himself for her burden. She was in pain because of him, and there was nothing he could do to remove the pain, no way to take the visions from her. Not until she died. (The thought was like a flaming spear through his heart.) But, her face was relaxing, her grip was loosening, and after a moment, her large brown eyes fluttered open and fixed on his.

His hand moved to cup her face, brushing away tears, lifting the hair from her golden skin. His fingers stroked her soft cheeks and over her nose, which she wrinkled, like he loved it to. She interrupted his thoughts of her beauty. “Big, brown and slimy. Bar called the BW-3.” Her words were clipped.

“Cor.” He tried, but she closed her eyes and turned her face away from him. “I’ll make it up to you.” She didn’t respond, merely stood, draining him of her warmth.

“Go, Angel. Innocent lives are at stake.”

He wished he could stay and talk, hoping she would understand, knowing he had to go and fight and leave her once again. “Go!”

Angel sighed, moving to the door. And just when she thought she’d gotten rid of him, he rushed to her side and grabbed her arm roughly. She looked at him startled, her pretty face confused. But, before she could say anything, he smashed him lips to hers, forcing her to respond under the pressure. He felt, more than heard the moan that was torn from her throat. “This isn’t finished.” He whispered, pulling his lips from hers, delighting in the disoriented look on her face and her full, well kissed lips.

~ Several hours later, just as rosy fingers were spreading across the dark sky, Angel returned, covered in dirt, slime and blood and looking rather pissed off. The look on his face told Cordelia not to ask any questions, so instead, she moved from her seat on the couch to his side, examining a cut along his cheek. She was surprised when he let out a low growl at the touch. “Angel, is everything okay?” She asked hesitantly. He didn’t respond, instead, he headed strait for her bathroom, shedding his coat as he went.

After a moment, she could hear the soft sound of the shower running and she made her way towards him. Steam was already pouring out the half-opened door, and when she pushed it the rest of the way open, she almost choked on the heat. His clothing lay in a pile next to the tub and she could see the hazy outline of his body through the spidery glass. He turned to face her suddenly, his eyes trapping her to the spot.

Very slowly and very purposefully, Cordelia slid her T-shirt up over her arms, baring a large expanse of her skin. His eyes left hers, but only for a moment, tracing the skin with his gaze. Then, he looked at her again, his eyes slightly amused.

She unbuttoned her jeans and peeled them away from her skin, her eyes on his, daring him to look away. She stood before him, dressed only in two scraps of black lace, her hair flowing around her, like a shower of brown silk. Then, she moved towards him, dropping her remaining clothing as she went, and she stepped into the shower with him, completely naked.

They were like magnets, drawn together immediately, mouths crushing, warring, fighting for control. It was electric, heated, and could never have been stopped by anyone or anything. Their bare skin pressed together, rivulets of hot water pooling between them. Time stood still and moved more quickly than ever before.

“Angel…” It was a whimper, as she tore her lips from his, breathing deeply, “Angel…” Her voice was so soft and uncertain and it unsettled him. Of all the things in the world, Cordelia was never uncertain. Her mouth and chin were red and quivering. Her eyes drew up his chest slowly, afraid.

“Shhh.” He soothed, running a hand through her hair then drawing her cheek to his chest. She leant against him, not noticing the silence within. “Cordelia?” She made a small noise and burrowed deeper into his chest. He gripped her hair lightly and pulled her away from him, forcing her to face him. She looked so frightened, so panicked. Where was the seductress that had so boldly stripped for him a few minutes before? “Cordelia, I love you.” It was so simple to say.

Her head fell against him again, she let out a painful sniffle. Not as easy to believe. “I love you…I love you so much.” He hands traced over her shoulders and down her arms, pulling her into a hug.

“I love you too, Angel.” He couldn’t tell if he felt the water or her tears running down his chest, but he was positive that he wasn’t going to let her cry. As far as he was concerned, she didn’t deserve tears. She deserved anything but tears…laughter, sunlight, rainstorms, all the shoes money could buy…not tears.

“Then, why are you crying?” He asked softly and she looked up at him in surprise, as if suddenly realizing her absurdity. She grinned at him, through her dripping eye shadow and runny mascara. “I love you.” He murmured, it was so easy to say now.

He gently turned her to face the tiled wall and pushed her slightly so that she leaned against the wet surface then continued along his way. Placing kisses over her shoulder blades, running his fingers over her ribs, eliciting a slight giggle from her. His lips found the scar on her lower left back and he nibbled at the raised skin, his hands gripped her hips, holding her to him, trying to quell her squirming.

“You know, this is very dangerous.” He murmured into the small of her back, tasting her tattoo. “Very, very dangerous.”

She sighed in agreement and her legs buckled as he began to kiss the inside of her knees. “Yeah?” She asked, finally turning to face him, not being able to bare not seeing his face. He nodded, looking up at her face.

“Yeah.” Her lips quirked as he began his trek back up her body, pausing every few seconds for a more thorough examination. He stopped at her belly button, dipping inside, then sinking his fangs into the soft skin just above. The bite was like a cramp, shooting through her abdomen, but it stopped before she had time to register the pain.

Cordelia gasped in surprise and laced her fingers through his hair, tugging him to his feet. “You bit me.” That tone in her voice, shock, incredulity and lust.

He grinned openly. “Eye, milady, and I’ll do it again.” Her eyes widened when he trailed a long kiss down her neck, ending at her jugular and he bit again, staying longer this time. It hurt, almost to the point where she couldn’t bear it, but she held her breath, waiting for it to disappear.

She sighed, “Get up here and kiss me.” She groaned and he happily obliged, claiming her lips wholly, plundering them, bruising them, seeking out every secret place in her mouth and exposing them to his tongue. Meanwhile, his hands were completing their own exploration. The pain in her neck was forgotten.

“Are you sure you want this, Cordelia?” Angel asked, breaking the kiss so she could breathe.

Exasperated, she grabbed his face with both hands, forcing his eyes to meet hers, not allowing them to look away. “Positive.” That was all he needed to hear…

~ It seemed as though Angel was either cursed for good, or that Cordelia couldn’t give him perfect happiness, because either way, Angelus was nowhere to be found. Angel was positive that it was the former, for what he had just experienced with Cordelia was better than anything he’d ever felt, mortal or immortal. Nothing compared to Darla or Buffy or Dru.

His chest was lukewarm, not completely cold, but the water pounding against her back was hot, so she could compromise. His arms were draped lazily around her middle, crushing her to him, keeping her there as long as he could. He didn’t need to worry. She wasn’t going to leave the comfortable embrace anytime soon.

For what seemed like forever she’d lain there, his chest serving as her pillow, the hollow emptiness there didn’t bother her. She didn’t need to hear a heartbeat from his chest, she could hear her own, echoing throughout the room, like a drum. She let her eyes slip shut, relaxing in the slight rise and fall of his chest beneath her, moving with his breath.

But, Angel didn’t breathe. Where was the logic in this? And why was her heartbeat suddenly sounding like two distinctly different heartbeats?

“Angel?”

“Hmmm?” It was like a purr.

“Angel?” Her voice was a bit more urgent and she stood, towering above him, blocking the downpour. Perturbed, she switched off the water and shook her hair. His eyes opened, squinting up at her, seeming to ask ‘what’s the matter?’. He moved slowly to his feet as well, pulling her into a hug.

“Angel!” She shrieked.

He pulled away from her, his brows furrowed, “What is the matter with you, Cordelia?”

“You!” He frowned, releasing her. “Oh, stop it. I love you.” She muttered. “I mean, you…Your heart is doing the pumping thing!”

“What?” He was busy placing kisses over her collarbone and nibbling at the bite on her neck. She growled, something threatening enough to cause Angel to jerk back, startled. “What is it, Cordelia? You aren’t making any sense.”

“Me???” She demanded incredulously. “Me? I’m not the one breathing.” He smirked, she frowned, batting at his arm. “You know what I mean!”

He shook his head slowly, laughing, “No, Cordelia, I have no clue what you mean.”

Exasperated, Cordelia grabbed his hand and forced his index and middle finger to the throbbing pulse on his neck. She watched as he eyes widened in disbelief and fascination. Then, he ran his hand over his face, feeling the warm breath he was expelling from his mouth. “Cordelia, what’s going on?” He asked hesitantly, his hands settling on her tiny waist.

The seer shrugged helplessly, noting for the first time that his skin was warming. Slowly, but surely, her lover was becoming human. Just like the scroll said! He was human! But, there had been no plagues nor had they faced any evil greater than what they were used to. This simply didn’t make sense.

“This can’t be what we think it is.” Angel muttered, absently stroking his thumb over her pelvic bone. “It isn’t possible.”

“We should talk to Wesley. He can tell us what’s going on.” She said under her breath, almost in awe over his current condition.

Angel groaned, dropping his head onto her shoulder. “Just what I want to do. Explain to Wesley what just transpired.” Cordelia grinned and lifted his head a bit. When their eyes met, she leaned into him, claiming his lips with hers.

She stepped from the shower and grabbed her two fluffiest towels, tossing one his way. He looped it around her waist and drew her to him, running the soft, terry cloth over her wet skin. “I’m in no hurry.” He whispered into her ear, scooping her into his arms and out of the bathroom.

“Yay.” She said breathlessly, luxuriating in the hard, warm body carrying her.

Needless to say, the day progressed slowly, the new lovers taking time to learn every secret their bodies hid. Late in the morning, they fell asleep together, both content and sated. It was well into the afternoon when they finally stirred, late day sun filtering through the windows, pouring over them both.

“Strange…” Angel murmured, attempting to catch sunbeams in his hand.

“Hmmm.” She agreed, snuggling closer against his oddly warm body. “You think we should talk with Wesley?”

Much to Cordelia’s surprise, Angel began to giggle in her ear and he pulled her tighter, over his torso. “He’s going to kick our asses.” His teeth found her earlobe and he felt her sharp intake of breath.

“Angel.” She gasped, pushing herself away with her palms on his chest. She grinned down at him, her hair creating a curtain against the sunlight. “You’re a human.”

He nodded, shaking in laughter. “Yeah.”

Their little world was interrupted by a sharp rap on the door. “Shit.” Cordelia groaned, rolling off the bed and dragging the comforter with her. She almost didn’t make it to the front door when she saw the very naked state of her lover. “Shit.”

“This better be good.” She demanded, throwing open the door and greeting a wide-eyed Wesley, obviously in shock over her state of undress. “Hey, Wes.” She stepped aside, allowing him to enter.

“I certainly hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He said, aghast. He cast a quick glance about, happy to see no one else present.

Cordelia arched a brow. “Oh, not much…What do you need?”

“I, ah, have a small problem.”

“Shoot.” She prodded.

“I’ve lost our employer.” He said, ducking his head. Her brows climbed higher, as if to say ‘how does one do that, Wes?’ “Well, he’s been staying at my apartment, I assume you’ve known? He didn’t come home last night. I’ve been searching for him all morning…I’m becoming somewhat worried.”

Oh yeah, Wesley was going to kick some asses. “Um, Wesley.” She began slowly, placing a small hand on his forearm. “I may know where to find him…” She tipped her head slightly, in the direction of her bedroom.

The ex-watcher’s eyes widened comically, and he took a step back, nearly tripping over himself. “Cordelia, please don’t tell me what I think you are about to tell me.” He whispered, his eyes falling shut.

She bit her lip and sighed, “What do you think I’m gonna tell you?” She asked meekly.

“Well, no matter what it is, you are not going to tell me that you have been sleeping with Angel.”

“Wesley.” Angel’s deep voice echoed through the room, causing the other two occupants to groan. They turned to see him dressed modestly in a loose sheet.

“I believe I am finished here.” Wesley muttered, turning to leave.

“Wait!” They shouted, effectively halting him. “There’s something we need to tell you.” Cordelia added brokenly.

The ex-watcher sounded incredulous. “Something else?” He demanded, his voice raising in pitch.

Cordelia frowned, knowing they deserved what he was giving them. They had taken an awful chance. For all they knew, Angelus should have been loose by now. Could have killed her and Wesley and anyone else within a large radius. “Wesley, I’m sorry.” Angel said softly. “We weren’t thinking.”

“No? I think that much is obvious, Angel. Or is it Angelus.”

“Maybe neither.” That caught Wesley off-guard. He gave his full attention to his employer. “Wes, something’s happened. I’m…I think I’m alive.”

“Well, I know he is. He’s breathing and his heart is beating. And, look!” Cordelia shouted happily, raising the blinds and bathing the room in golden sunlight.

Wesley gasped, moving closer to the ex-vampire, hesitating, as if touching Angel would cause him to burst into flames. “My Goodness.” He sank into the leather chair, looking up at Angel.

“Yeah!” Cordelia snorted, also in awe.

“So, do you know what happened?” Angel asked, settling into the sofa. Cordelia curled up in his lap, burying her nose in his neck.

Wesley shook his head. “I have no clue. When did this happen? What led up to it?”

Cordelia and Angel began to giggle. “Do you want details?” Angel managed, between snorts of laughter.

“Good Lord.” Wesley muttered, sighing, as if dealing with two toddlers. “I don’t imagine we’ll get anywhere if you two can’t act a little more mature.

They had the decency to look ashamed, even if they weren’t really. Angel attempted to sober himself. “Wesley, I just want to know if this is permanent, if it’s real. This just doesn’t seem to be what the scroll was talking about. And I don’t want to get my hopes up, only to have them dashed.” He drew Cordelia closer with his arm. “I want to be with you forever.” He told her very seriously, then turned his attention back to Wesley. “I don’t want this taken away.”

“I understand.” Wesley told him, secretly relieved that the two had finally gotten together. The tension lately had been almost too much to bear. And, he was amazed by what their coupling had created.

“I think the best thing to do would be to go to the oracles. They seem to have all the answers. I suggest we work quickly, just in case this is a temporary affair.” He stood and began to move towards the door. “I don’t know why this has happened, only that somehow your…love making, um, must have triggered it. I have no idea if this is what the scroll spoke of.” He paused, noting their worried expressions. “I certainly hope, for your sake, that this is permanent. You should see the oracles as soon as possible.”

Angel nodded, feeling dread coarse through him. He didn’t want to see the oracles. He wanted to stay here, holding Cordelia until the end of time. “I’ll go at sundown.” He offered, still in the habit of nighttime travelling. Wesley left them and the room plunged into silence.

Cordelia turned in his arms, silently finding his eyes and pleading him to make everything alright. “Angel, it has to be real.” She told him brokenly, tears sliding down her cheeks. “This has to be real. I can’t go back to what we were. Pretending it never happened.” She tossed her arms around his neck and he held her as the tears racked her small body. “I can’t do that.” She told him, her voice muffled.

“Neither can I, Cordelia. Everything’s going to be fine.” He wished he could believe that himself.

The rest of the day seemed to crawl by. They holed themselves up in the bedroom with a great amount of junk food, jumped into bed and refused to do anything of any importance for the remaining daylight hours.

The sun was becoming red; Cordelia’s hair seemed orange in the glow, shinning all around them, lighting the room. Her eyes were closed and she was laying against him, breathing evenly and deeply. Her fingers traced idle patterns over his shoulders and back. Her face was so pretty, so peaceful, so enticingly perfect. And, Angel would give up eternity for that face, and the extraordinary woman behind it.

“Cordelia?” She blinked lazily and grinned up at him, through heavy eyes. “I…”

“Yes?” Her voice was think and drowsy and oh-so-seductive. Just like her full lips and chocolate eyes. The perfect siren, and she was in bed with him.

“Cordy, if everything turns out alright?”

“What? If everything turns out alright, what?”

He pulled a hand through her think hair, marveling at the way it changed color so frequently. Her eyes were the same, though they were questioning him. “Nothing.” He murmured, “Nothing to worry about.” And then, the sun sank over the horizon, and they knew what had to be done.

“I’m coming with you, Angel.”

“That’s not smart, Cordelia. The oracles don’t like to speak with humans, I should know.”

Cordelia paused while buttoning her shirt and turned to face him. “What do you mean?”

Angel sat down heavily on the bed and patted the seat next to him. “If this is going to work, we’re going to have to be completely honest with each other. There’s something I have to tell you that you may not like.”

Cordelia pouted, “I already don’t like it.”

He sighed, “Remember when Buffy came to visit? You know, right after Thanksgiving?”

“Just stop.” She said softly, not able to hear anymore. “I can’t listen to this. I don’t want to know about it. I just knew Buffy was going to…”

“Cordelia!” He reprimanded. “I love only you. Only you, but you need to know this.” She nodded slightly, and he continued. “There was a demon that broke through the glass and we had to fight it off.” He paused for a second. “Some of its blood got on me…it caused me to become human.”

Angel could tell that she wanted to protest, wanted to ask questions, but she kept silent. “Well, Buffy and I spent that time together, as lovers, but the demon came back to life and kidnapped me. I was too weak to fight it, and so was Buffy. I realized then that I couldn’t remain human and still fight the evil. So, I went to the oracles and asked them to take the day away and let me remember and no one else. They did it, and left me with the knowledge that if I were to ever become human, I wouldn’t be able to continue my good deeds.”

“Angel.” She sobbed, sliding her hand into his. “Angel…Does that mean…” She hesitated, taking a large breath. “You don’t want this?”

“No! No, Cordelia, I want this more than anything. They expect so much of me, thought, and then they give me my humanity. I just want to make sure of what has happened.”

She was crying softly, bitter and scared. “Well, that’s good and fine, Angel, but I’m going with you, whether the oracles like it or not!” He opened his mouth to say something, but she placed a single finger across his lips. “That’s final.” She whispered through her tears. He nodded his acceptance.

Moments later, they stood before the oracles, trying to be as humble as possible. Which was rather difficult in Cordelia’s case. “Why have you come here?”

“I’m human…again.”

“We already knew that.” The woman replied with an impatient gesture. “What is the point of your coming here?”

“We wanted to know,” Cordelia began hesitantly, feeling her way through the words. “Is this for good? Is he really human for good?”

“Until his death.” The man stated plainly.

Angel spoke then. “In the scroll, it said-“

“The scroll is of no consequence. What has happened cannot be undone. No matter what.” He added, with finality.

“But, what about fighting the ‘good fight’?” Angel asked, thoroughly confused.

“You have misread this entire affair! It will become clear within time. The fight shall continue.” She smiled, like good-old Mona, she was hiding something.

“How can I participate? I’ve been human before, I couldn’t…I didn’t have any strength.”

The girl sighed, gesturing to Cordelia, who had taken Angel’s hand and was standing stock-still, looking strait ahead. “That little mortal slays demons, does she not? She endures the visions sent to you. Surely if she can do all this, so can you.”

“But…”

“It must be done; you will find your way. All will be clear in time.” With a flash of light, they were dismissed.

There was a long silence, both looking strait ahead, but Cordelia turned to face him slowly, placing her hands on either side of his face. Her breath was coming in short puffs, close to his lips. “Angel,” She placed a small kiss at the corner of his mouth and his arms moved to encircle her. “Angel, it’s real.” She smiled at him, full force. One of those rare smiles that truly lit up an entire room, full of teeth and dimples and sparkling eyes. He smiled the same smile back, feeling as if a great weight had just flown away from them.

He gathered her up in his arms, twirling her around the open area as if her weight were nothing. She giggled helplessly, throwing her arms around his neck and clutching him loosely. They were outside, then out in the street, oblivious to the honking horns and irritated shouts. He finally sat her down, on the curb their laughter dying down, leaving contented smiles on their lips. “Cordelia…” He began hesitantly, taking her delicate hand in his. She nodded for him to continue.

I love you.”

“I think I may love you.” She murmured, dipping her head for a kiss.

Angel pulled away before she could make contact. “May? You may love me?” He demanded.

The may queen giggled, dropping her lips to his, silencing him efficiently. A cleared throat broke their kiss. “You two need a room, ASAP.” Gunn commented, grinning at them.

Cordelia continued to laugh helplessly while Angel attempted to look serious and put together. “Is something wrong, Gunn?” He asked, hoping for the demons in L.A.’s sake, nothing happened tonight.

“Nope.” The young man replied, lifting his hands in a dismissive gesture. “Just going for a nice little stroll. Looking for some un-dead to make dead.”

“Very admirable.” Cordelia told him, between snorts of laughter.

Gunn cast a sidelong glance at her, then spoke, “I have the feeling I’m missing something crucial here.”

“Let’s just say Angel is no longer part of the un-dead category.” Cordelia supplied helpfully.

“Is it okay if I’m lost?” He asked, looking between the couple. They nodded, before breaking out into laughter again. “Good, I’m just gonna let you folks get down in the street and I’m gonna go fight the bad guys, okay? If you decide that you can help rid the world of unspeakable evil, I’ll be around.” With that he departed, shaking his head good-naturedly at their behavior.

“You think we should find Wesley and put to rest his fears?” Angel asked her, keeping his arms around her waist and holding her to him firmly.

“Hmmm.” She purred, “Naw, tomorrow’s soon enough. Right now, I want you to take me on a date.”

His brows rose together. “A date?”

“Um, hum.” She agreed, “Good idea. I want flowers and dinner and a movie. And then,” Her voice lowered, “Then we get to go back to my place.”

“Really? Well then, I guess I can survive the night.”

“Hey, does this mean I have to start calling you Liam?” She asked suddenly, “Cause, I’m sorry, but I like Angel much better.

Angel shook his head and laughed at her, much to her chagrin. “You can call me whatever you want, Sweetie.” He emphasized ‘sweetie’ and she pursed her lips in distaste but said nothing. He laughed again, then stepped up onto the sidewalk with her and threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him. She looped her arm over his hips, and together they headed down the street, into a beautiful LA evening and a promising future.