What Would Happen?
Part Two of the ‘If Without You, Not At All’ series
By Thursday’s Child
Spoilers: To Shanshu in LA
Category: A/C, Angst, Friendship tending towards Romance.
Summary: A few days after the first story. Angel wakes Cordy up for a ‘deep’ conversation. Things don’t go the way he planned.
Rating: PG, so far…(Thursday’s devious laughter echoing throughout the www…)
Disclaimer: Angel, Cordelia and Wesley are property of Joss Whedon, the wonderful people at the WB and numerous others whom I know nothing about. I simply couldn’t help but write for them. Sue me if you like, I don’t mind, I like it;)
Feedback: Yes Please!!! Give me my fix because37@hotmail.com Seriously, I love to write, but it seems pointless to post it if no one’s reading. So, if you enjoy my work and want more, let me know. My work is a lot better and gets done quicker if I know people want it!
Author’s Corner: I know this and the first were rather short, but I’ve got at least one more planned, and it’s going to be much longer, so keep an eye out for it. I hope to have it up by next Wednesday! Also, I promise these will be happy fics! I know I’ve been kinda angsty
Okay, now that I’ve made this story seem considerably longer by taking up half the space with this inane info…on with the show…er, um…story…
What Would Happen?
“Cordelia, do you suppose it would be difficult for a human to blow up a flat tire?”
“Human’s don’t have the lung capacity.”
“Hmmm…Do you think Shaggy was gay?”
“Well, if he was, he was into bestiality.”
“Can I see your tattoo?”
“No.”
“What would you do if you were in the middle of the Sahara Desert and your camel died?”
“I’d dismount.” Angel laughed, Cordelia pulled the covers up over her head.
“Well, say your worst enemy moved in next door to you, just to make your life hell. What would you do?” He hoped it would give her pause, if just for a second.
It didn’t. “I’d bake them a cake. It’ll confuse the hell out of ‘em. Then, I’d slowly drive them crazy by giving them a lovely house trained pet…You!” She felt the mattress sink under his weight and she lowered the covers just a bit, to meet his eyes. She asked, annoyed, “Anything else?”
He poked her in the side, eliciting a smile, then proceeded to tickle her senseless. Finally, when all traces of her annoyed arrogance was put aside, he relented. They lay side by side, bodies molded together. He, enjoying the sounds of her heavy breathing and the feel of her squirming. She, loving the cool, comfortable weight pressed against her. When she’d caught her breath, he asked. “Cor, do you believe in soul mates?”
She smiled a bit sadly. “No, Angel, I don’t.”
Angel threw an arm over her, propping his weight above her, scanning her eyes. “No?” He seemed a bit surprised. “Why not?”
“Well, I had this theory, once upon a time.” She whispered up at him, thinking nothing of his close proximity. She reached up with a finger and twirled a bit of his hair around it, watching it curl. She didn’t seem to like it, soothing it back into its original style.
“Tell me.”
“I believed that at the beginning of time, there was a soul mate for everyone. You know, like that ancient myth that the gods threw down a thunderbolt and separated us from our other half and we spent our entire life searching for each other?” He nodded subtly and she continued.
“Well, I figured that we all belonged to someone else. And that worked for a while, when I was young and idealistic. But then, I got to thinking. People started settling for second best. People who weren’t really in love got together and had children. And the sad thing was, those children weren’t meant to be, so they didn’t have a soul mate. And pretty soon, someone’s soul mate was never born, cause their parents didn’t get together…and it was a big mess.
“The problem is, Angel, I know my parents don’t love each other. They weren’t meant to be together and therefore, I’m a mistake. I wasn’t supposed to be born, and I don’t have a soul mate.” Tears were pooling at the rims of her eyes, but she blinked them away. “It’s easier not to believe.”
“No. Not a mistake.” The lines between her brows were furrowing, just slightly. Her lips parted just a bit, as if she were going to question his actions. Instead, a puff of air escaped them from exhaustion and confusion. Could he tell her the truth? He just wanted to hear her voice. He just wanted to drown in her large hazel eyes. Bury his face in her chest and listen to her heart beating. He almost did. Just to reassure himself that she was still with him, that she wasn’t leaving him anytime soon. ‘I won’t leave her. I won’t live for you after she’s gone.’
“Anything else?” It was more of a gulp than a question.
He shook his head and his fingers sunk into her hair, massaging her scalp. His thumb traced her lips, feeling the moist breath on his skin. She was growing more puzzled with each second, he could tell. She wanted to say something. She drew in the breath for it, her lips parted wider. “Shh.” He soothed. He lowered his mouth slowly, giving her time to retreat. But, she didn’t, didn’t move at all. Felt his lips meet hers. Just a touch…Just satin meeting silk. So light, not enough. Too much and not enough.
Angel drew away, keeping his eyes on hers, watching them expand in wonder. “You kissed me, Angel.” Cordelia said, her voice managing to be reverent and indignant at the same time. Always a contradiction, his Cordy. She wanted answers, but he was moving away, blending into the shadows. Something she’d always found so fascinating and sexy, now she was pissed off, and in desperate need of a more thorough kiss. “Get the hell back here!” She shouted, not caring whom she disturbed. He had kissed her!
He was gone, the shadows had taken him away, whisked him into the night. She fell in on herself, tears racking her body. “Come back.” She pleaded, burying her face in her hands, liquid salt falling through her fingers. The man she loved had left her all alone, and he hadn’t even given her a choice. He took their first kiss all to himself, and left her. Probably felt he was betraying his beloved Buffy.
A roll of toilet paper landed softly at her feet and an invisible hand unrolled a bit and gently pushed it into her hands. “Thanks, Dennis.” She whispered, almost too sad to cry anymore. A few seconds later, a glass of water floated to her side and she greedily gulped it, hoping to swallow down the lump in her throat.
Cordelia grabbed the paper, rubbing furiously at her lips, trying to rid herself of the feel. The way his mouth fit hers so perfectly. Nothing could remove it, though. It was imprinted on her lips, as well as her memory. She fell back onto her pillow, tears running down her temples and sliding into her ears, (rather uncomfortable) and wetting her hair. Funny, she hadn’t realized she was crying again.
*
“I don’t want this future you’ve picked for me.” He told them, deadly quiet. “I don’t want this life.” He spat the word ‘life’ out as if it were a disease. His voice grew louder with each word. “I don’t want to do your biding. I don’t want anything you have to offer me, if I can’t be with Cordelia!”
The oracles stood before him, once again whole. It seemed nothing could kill them, and they only need time to reassemble. They were forever. And they were listening as close to patiently as they got while Angel made his stand.
The woman smiled, her blue lips parting to reveal white teeth. “I believe you have made that abundantly clear.”
Her brother smirked, “But, what makes you think you can refuse us?”
“You can’t stop me. If she dies, I’ll go with her. Don’t you understand? I can’t live without her. I couldn’t live, knowing I’d never see her face again. I couldn’t live knowing I’d never hear her laugh again.”
The oracle waved his hand dismissively. “Romanticism nonsense. I don’t need to hear your revelations. Go away, now.” With that, he was gone.
“It does no good to anger us, Angelus. But, know this, when the time is right for you, you will live. When you are truly where you belong, you will be granted mortality. We can not change what Fate has decreed. I’m sorry.”
The outside of the post office never looked so bleak or lonely. He had nowhere to go. He couldn’t go back to Cordelia, even if he wanted to. She was angry and hurt, and she had every right to be. He was such a jerk. He knew it.
Wesley let him in, no questions asked, just as the sun was peeking over the horizon. He watched the golden rays creep over the city, touching the tops of the buildings first, leaving the streets below in shadow. Such despair. Such agony there.
He didn’t want to live. He wanted to stay just as he was. He wanted things to be as they had always been. But, he had the feeling things had already begun to change. Now, it was up to him to decide, was this a bad thing, or was it good?