Title :  The Baby Sitter

Author :     Doris

Rating :     PG-13 

Couple -- None really unless you count Spike and his 'charge'

Disclaimer : I own nothing - just having fun so don't sue

Spoilers: Everything up to last weeks Angel.

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“um honey, I’m home and I kind of have a surprise” Angel smirks.

“Angel what the hell are you doing here you bloody pillock” Spike asks coming up the stairs from the basement of his crypt and stops dead when he sees Angel holding a baby.

“What the hell is that?” Spike asks looking at the baby.
”This is my son.  Darla and I had sex about 10 months ago and she staked herself so that he could be born.  I need your help.  He’s your brother.”

“Yo pops – vampires can’t have kids.” Spike says walking closer to him.

“The powers made it possible.  I don’t know how but she carried him, he gave her a soul when he was in her – and she killed herself so that he could appear in the world because her body wouldn’t give birth to him.  He’s mine Spike but he’s in danger.  Can he stay with you for a while?”
”Me – you realize I don’t have a soul?” Spike asks.

“I also realize you are my childe – my favorite and you know as well as I do that you’ll do as I say, I was asking to be nice but I’ll order if I have to.”

“I don’t know a damn thing about midgets – a crypt is no place for a midget.”
”You can live in the mansion – the heat and electricity are on – I stocked the kitchen for both of you – come on Will – I need someone I trust to watch my son.”
”What about your pet humans?”
”They can’t protect him like you can – Will – he’s blood to you too.” Angel says desperate.  Holtz was close to attacking in LA and he had to get Connor out of that situation.”
”Yeah what do I get out of this?” Spike asks.

“When I return and he’s safe you can have anything you want – I promise childe – I’ll give you whatever you desire.”
”Ok give me the little bugger.”
Angel gives Connor to Spike and smiles when Spike starts making googly noises to him.

Angel leans down and gives Connor a kiss and then unexpectantly gives Spike a kiss.  He turns to leave and smiles.  “Daddy loves you both.”

‘Yeah bugger off we have TV to watch.” Spike says packing up a few of his clothes and throws them in his Desoto.  He drives over to the mansion all the while mumbling about how an undead vampire created a kid.  “Would’ve known that was possible might have worn a raincoat with Harm.” He says then looks at Connor who is laughing at him.
”You’re right I wouldn’t have – don’t like those.  You’ll not like them either I reckon.  Chits seem to think men should just accept them and wear them.  Well guess if your ‘uman then you might have to – diseases and all – but ol’ pops he can’t tell you about this stuff – nope you’ll have to come to your brother Will – I’ll teach you about the chits and blokes.  Buggerin’ a bloke up the arse – now that’s fun.  Buggerin’ chits in the arse is ok but they don’t have the prostate – that’s a little nub deep inside that once its hit – blows yer mind – oh so good I tell ya.” Spike smirks – his brother needed to know the facts of life and he was just the vamp to tell him.

Spike pulls up to the mansion and pulls the Desoto in the garage.  It was so good that it was night because he had no idea how he would carry everything and the munchkin and dodge the sun.

Once Spike gets everything sorted and put away in the house Conner starts to fuss.  “What?  Expect me to know why ya are crying.  What do you want?” Spike says – getting angry that this kid won’t shut up.  Spike finally puts him in the playpen Angel had set up and then he calls Angel on his cell phone.
”Yes”
”Why won’t this thing stop crying?”
”Spike he’s hungry or needs his diaper changed.” Angel explains still driving back to LA.

“Well what the hell do I feed him – is he like us?” Spike asks.

“NO don’t feed him blood.  He’s human Spike.  Feed him formula I made one bottle and put it in the fridge.  Take it out – take the cover off and warm it in the microwave for 30 sec.  Then test it on the inside of your wrist.  It should be a little cooler than our blood.  Haven’t you ever fed a baby?”
”Yeah about 129 yrs ago. Since then I’ve fed on babies.”

“Well I know that won’t happen with my son, your brother.  Will – keep his presence a secret – but if you need to tell one of them – tell Willow ok she’ll keep the secret.”
”You’re really scared aren’t you?” Spike asks.

“Just protect him”
”With everything I have Sire.” Spike says softly into the phone and hangs up.  Getting the bottle from the fridge and warming it.  He finally gets it the right temp and picks up Connor.
”Ok bro – I promised our pop that you and I’d be fine together so you like gotta eat.”  Spike sits down and holds Connor a bit awkwardly and feeds him.
While Connor is eating Spike calls Giles – tells him that he’s moved into the Crawford Street Mansion on Angel’s request.  He tells Giles that he’s working on a special project for Angel and would be out of site for a while and wondered if Giles could send Willow by with some smokes.  Giles didn’t question it and said he would have Willow stop tomorrow.

Spike hung up with him and looked at Connor.

“So how’d you come to be anyway? You realize that our pops is dead – he doesn’t breath, doesn’t eat, doesn’t sweat, doesn’t go outside in the sun so how’d you get here bro?  Are you helping him get chics?  He needs that you know – needs a good romp – but obviously he got one if you got here.  Sorry your mum ain’t here though – she probably would have eaten you up – literally so it’s good she’s gone – kind of.  Little boys need to be around women; just to look at them is all of the good, as Buffy would say. Oh daddy didn’t tell you about Buffy, let your big brother tell you all about it.  You see daddy was a big mean nasty wonderful vampire known as Angelus.  He was turned to a vampire by your mum Darla”
Connor would start to fuss and Spike would pick him up and walk around the room with him patting him on the back, and continue his story.  “Anyway you mum Darla took a liking to your daddy and turned him into the beautiful vampire he was.  Then Daddy about 75-80 yrs later turned me into a vampire.  Then Darla – dumb twit”
Connor would burp then cry.
”Mean no disrespect bro, I means I liked her good I guess. She just fed dear old dad a gypsy.  That gypsy’s family didn’t take to kindly to its baby girl getting munched so they cursed Angelus – with a soul.  He ran away from all of us and no one saw him again until about 6 yrs ago when he showed up here in Sunnyhell.”
Spike would sit down with Connor again and feed him the rest of the bottle.

“So that’s where Buffy comes in.  See she’s a slayer, and slayers generally kill vamps like daddy and I.  But Buffy feel in love with Angel – that’s what he took to calling himself after he got souled.  Anyway Buffy and Angel got horizontal and fucked and well” Spike laughed.  “She fucked the soul out of him.” Connor stopped drinking and giggled.

“You think that’s funny too huh?”

“I thought it was until Angelus came back – but he wasn’t the same he was angry and vile and wanted to destroy the world.  So I helped Buffy send him to hell.  He was there for 100 yrs then Willow brought him back – soul and all.  See right before he was sent to hell Willow managed to re-soul him so his soul was tortured in hell.  Then when he came back this time he didn’t want anything to do with Buffy.  He moved to LA.”

Spike picks up Connor and starts walking around the house again.

“Well I came back to Sunnydale and some commando guys stole me” Connor hiccups. “Yep bro they took your big brother, they drugged me and put a chip in me head that hurts me when I try to harm ‘umans”

Conner would look up at him like everything that Spike says is gospel and Spike would enjoy that- walking around the mansion for another hour telling Conner all about the history of he and Angel, about Dru and also about how he felt about the little red headed witch.

“She’s a good chit she is.  Yep anything ails ya and she makes you smile.  She’s timid though you see – doesn’t believe in herself or how pretty she is.  I think it’s the slayers fault because she’s so demanding and all “I’m the slayer bow to me” personally if I had to pick one of the them to shag or bugger it’d be my red any day of the week.” Spike looks down and Conner is asleep.  Spike moves and locks the doors and then brings Conner into his room and puts him in is crib.  All the windows had been boarded up as well.  Angel had seen to everything.  The place looked abandoned from the outside and Spike liked it that way.