Lembeck PLOT Rachel's big plan to reveal her love for Ross at

the airport crashes and burns when he arrives on the arm of

fellow paleontologist Julie. HISTORIC MOMENT Phoebe directly

addresses the viewer, doing a Ross-and-Rachel recap. NEW 'DO

Joey, Chandler BEST LINE "Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when

there's resistance!" (Chandler, to Joey) CRITIQUE An exquisite

story (Rachel's frantic vexation at losing Ross before she even

had him) and inspired subplots (Chandler's "cupping" by Joey's

tailor; Phoebe mixes up her Moores and gives Monica Dudley's,

not Demi's, 'do) start the sophomore season on a high note. A-

25 THE ONE WITH THE BREAST MILK--W Chase/Ungerleider D Lembeck PLOT

Ross is thrilled when his sister befriends Julie, but Monica is

guilt-ridden for betraying Rachel. The gang dares Ross to taste

Carol's breast milk. CREATIVE CASTING Emily Procter (The West

Wing's Ainsley) as a Saks employee. NEW 'DO Monica BEST LINE

"You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? It's like cheating on

Rachel in her house of worship." (Chandler, to Monica) CRITIQUE

Friends is best at finding the funny in relationship quandaries,

e.g., Monica's confession to Rachel of her friendship infidelity

("I was thinking of you the whole time!"), so we'll forgive the

occasional lame sitcommery--like Joey's "showdown" with a fellow

cologne spritzer at Saks. B+ [4]

26 THE ONE WHERE HECKLES DIES--W Michael Curtis/Gregory S. Malins D

Bright PLOT Cranky Mr. Heckles gets posthumous revenge on noisy

neighbors Monica and Rachel by willing them an apartment's worth

of junk. Chandler is horrified to discover that the lonely

Heckles is him in 30 years. INTRODUCES Michael G. Hagerty as the

super, Mr. Treeger. HISTORIC MOMENTS Mr. Heckles notes in his

"big book of grievances" that Chandler is gay. Janice pops up

pregnant and married. BEST LINE "Monkeys, Darwin--you know, it's a

nice story. I just think it's a little too easy." (Phoebe, on why

evolution is a crock) CRITIQUE It's good to see the boys' quirks

under the microscope: Besides Chandler's meltdown over being

mayor of "Bitter Town," Phoebe calls Ross on his obsessive need

to be right. A-

27 THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S HUSBAND--W Junge D Mancuso PLOT

Phoebe's got a secret: She married her gay Canadian friend

Duncan because he needed a green card. Other skeletons

unearthed: Chandler's third nipple, and the fact that Ross and

Julie have yet to do the deed. HISTORIC MOMENT Ross reveals that

he's been with only one woman in his life--Carol. CREATIVE

CASTING Steve Zahn as Duncan. BEST LINE "Oh, darn it--we're

all out of milk. Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?"

(Ross, holding a pitcher up to Chandler's third-nippled chest)

CRITIQUE Poor Phoebe's string of dead-end love affairs

continues. And is it just us, or is Rachel's deliberate attempt

to break up Ross and Julie just too nasty? B [4]

28 THE ONE WITH FIVE STEAKS, AN EGGPLANT--W Brown D Ellen

Gittelsohn PLOT Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are nonplussed when

Chandler expects them to pony up $62 for Ross' b-day gift, and

they accuse their more gainfully employed pals of being

insensitive to their money woes. HISTORIC MOMENT Monica gets

fired for accepting free steaks from the meat vendor. CRITIQUE

At long last, Friends shatters the fantasy that twentysomething

New Yorkers with minimum-wage jobs can afford spacious

apartments and $200 haircuts. It's also a rare--and

welcome--treat to see the gang experience realistic tension that

goes beyond the standard snappy- comeback repartee. B+

29 THE ONE WITH THE BABY ON THE BUS--W Betsy Borns D Mancuso

PLOT Joey and Chandler are left in charge of baby Ben, and use

him as bait to meet women--but end up leaving the tot on the

bus. HISTORIC MOMENT Phoebe's "Smelly Cat" debuts. CREATIVE

CASTING Lea Thompson, as Caroline in the City's Caroline, who

mistakes Joey and Chandler for a gay couple; JAG's Catherine

Bell as a bus-riding babe; Chrissie Hynde as Stephanie, Phoebe's

"professional" Central Perk replacement; Giovanni Ribisi, who

will later play Phoebe's half brother, as a guy who drops a

condom in her guitar case. CRITIQUE NBC's philosophy must go

something like this: If a hit show ain't broke, jam it with

stunts and crossovers. Still, LeBlanc, Perry, and Kudrow manage

to turn those contrivances into unexpected hilarity. B+ [2]

[4]

30 THE ONE WHERE ROSS FINDS OUT--W Michael Borkow D Bonerz PLOT

During Rachel's latest dating disaster, she insists she's

totally over Ross--which is exactly what she tells him in a

rambling, drunken phone message. HISTORIC MOMENT Ross and

Rachel's first real kiss. BEST LINE "You're over

me?...When...when were you...under me?" (Ross, to Rachel)

CRITIQUE This one never gets old: Aniston exhibits an endearing

willingness to look foolish (see Rachel's wine-soaked blind date

and next-day remorse) and gives her most Lucy-esque (and

Emmy-worthy) performance yet. She and Schwimmer bring off Ross

and Rachel's Central Perk blowout with sweet, silly perfection. A

31 THE ONE WITH THE LIST--W Kauffman/Crane D Mary Kay Place PLOT

Ross must choose between fulfilling his 10-year fantasy with

Rachel and staying with Julie, so he composes a "pros and cons"

list. Do we really need to tell you that Rachel finds the list?

Monica is hired to develop recipes for Mockolate, a "completely

synthetic chocolate substitute." CREATIVE CASTING Michael McKean

as the Mockolate exec. BEST LINE "Oh, sweet Lord--this is what

evil must taste like!" (Phoebe, sampling Mockolate-chip cookies)

CRITIQUE Ross' list is an old TV gimmick--an artificial obstacle

designed to keep a happy couple apart--but it's also a clever

example of how boys can be so damn stupid. Still, after the giddy

high of the Kiss, this ep comes off as a downer. B [2] [4]

32 THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S DAD--W Astrof/Sikowitz D Bright PLOT

Phoebe learns that nothing her mother told her about her

absentee father (he's a famous tree surgeon who lives in a

phoneless hut in Burma) is true. Turns out Frank Buffay is a

pharmacist in upstate New York--so Phoebe enlists Chandler and

Joey for a road trip. A broken radiator turns Monica's holiday

get-together into a "tropical Christmas party." HISTORIC MOMENTS

Gunther speaks! We see Phoebe's apartment with her grandma.

CREATIVE CASTING Three's Company's Audra Lindley as Phoebe's

grandma. CRITIQUE It's nice to finally get a real glimpse into

Phoebe's tragicomic past, and Kudrow tempers the PLOT 's

poignancy ("What if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on

my mom and us?") with her award-winning daffiness. B [1] [4]

33 THE ONE WITH RUSS--W Ungerleider D Thomas Schlamme PLOT

Everybody but Rachel can see that her new boyfriend, Russ

(Schwimmer, under a bad wig and a ton of makeup), is just a

bigger-chinned doppelganger for Ross. INTRODUCES Joey's agent

Estelle (June Gable). HISTORIC MOMENTS Monica reunites with "Fun

Bobby," but it turns out he becomes "Ridiculously Dull Bobby"

without booze in him; Joey lands the role of Dr. Drake Ramoray on

Days of Our Lives after a visit to the casting couch. BEST LINE

"See, now they're as different as night and...later that night."

(Monica, comparing Ross and Russ) CRITIQUE And we thought the

Phoebe/Ursula gag was hackneyed. When a show as superior as

Friends starts wandering into Brady Bunch territory (everybody

remember when Peter met his twin at school?), it is a sad, sad

day indeed. C-

34 THE ONE WITH THE LESBIAN WEDDING--W Abrams D Schlamme PLOT

Ross is shaken up when Carol and Susan announce their impending

nuptials; Rachel is shaken up by a visit from her

mom--especially when she learns that her parents might separate;

Phoebe believes she's possessed by an 82-year-old woman who died

on her massage table. INTRODUCES Marlo Thomas as Sandra Green.

HISTORIC MOMENTS Our first glimpse of Joey as Dr. Drake Ramoray;

the show makes a sly nod to our obsession with Aniston's shag

when Rachel quips of her newly independent mom: "Couldn't she

have just copied my haircut?" CREATIVE CASTING Comedian Lea

DeLaria as a wedding guest who hits on Phoebe; Candace Gingrich

(Newt's sister) as the minister. BEST LINE "Why wouldn't I want

to come? I had fun at the first wedding." (Ross, to Carol)

CRITIQUE A slightly overcrowded episode; still, Thomas is

parent-perfect casting as Rachel's bubbly socialite mom, and

Kudrow somehow makes the goofy poltergeist plot work. B [1]

[3] [4]

35-36 THE ONE AFTER THE SUPER BOWL PART 1 & 2--W Part I:

Astrof/Sikowitz; Part II: Borkow D Lembeck PLOT Friends' second

hour-long episode is a Hollywood drop-in extravaganza: Days doc

Joey dates his first stalker (Brooke Shields); Phoebe falls for

a library employee (Chris Isaak); the gang visits Marcel--now a

monkey thespian--on the set of Outbreak 2, while Rachel and

Monica fight over the movie's star, Jean-Claude Van Damme

(guesting as himself); Chandler takes up with a fourth-grade

classmate (Julia Roberts) who's still steamed about an undies

prank he pulled. HISTORIC MOMENT Shields' frenetic performance

as the psycho soap fan led to a TV deal--which in turn led to

the infliction of Suddenly Susan on an unsuspecting America.

CREATIVE CASTING In addition to the above, Fred Willard as the

administrator of the zoo where Marcel was last seen; The

Simpsons' Dan Castellaneta as the zookeeper. BEST LINE

"Sometimes men love women/Sometimes men love men/And then there

are bisexuals/Though some just say they're kidding themselves."

(Phoebe, in a song about sexuality) CRITIQUE Coinciding with the

height of Friends hysteria (and a Diet Coke tie-in), "TOATSB"

shows the writers felt the pressure of producing a megahit: The

episode is fragmented, poorly paced, and only sporadically

funny. Cramming the already crowded ensemble with celebs may

have been a ratings grabber (52.9 million fans tuned in after

the game), but the results are forced sitcomedy and stilted

acting (that means you, Mr. Van Damme). Roberts comes off the

best (no surprise), though her off-screen mini-romance with

Perry was more entertaining. C [2] [4]

37 THE ONE WITH THE PROM VIDEO--W Junge D Burrows PLOT Rachel

has a message for Ross: "We are never going to happen, okay?"

But she hasn't seen the titular video, which shows the geeky

genesis of Ross' undying love. Joey, rolling in soap opera

dough, repays Chandler for years of mooching with a gold

bracelet, which his chagrined pal dubs an "eyesore from the

Liberace house of crap." HISTORIC MOMENTS Our first glimpse of

teenage Rachel's pre-nose job honker, and of Fat Monica-- though

she insists the camera adds 10 pounds. (Chandler's response: "So

how many cameras are actually on you?") CRITIQUE So nice to see

you again, Mr. Burrows. Putting the flashy guest stars and

monkey high jinks behind it, "TOWTPV" brings the show back to

relatable relationship comedy. The prom vid--a true Friends

classic--is witty character development disguised as a standard

flashback. A [3]

38 THE ONE WHERE ROSS AND RACHEL...YOU KNOW--W Curtis/Malins D

Lembeck PLOT It's Ross and Rachel's first date, but their

journey from friends to lovers is hampered by Rachel's giggles

and Ross' hectic schedule. INTRODUCES Dr. Richard Burke (Tom

Selleck) as a Geller family friend. HISTORIC MOMENTS Joey and

Chandler acquire black leather armchairs; Monica and Richard hit

it off. BEST LINE "I can't believe two cows made the ultimate

sacrifice so that you guys could watch TV with your feet up."

(Phoebe, about the new chairs) CRITIQUE Schwimmer and Aniston

are almost too good at portraying the awkward

buddies-to-bedmates transition; it's a little disconcerting

seeing Ross and Rachel finally getting busy. The latest

champions in the chemistry department are Cox and Selleck, but

we already knew Magnum was a charmer. B+

39 THE ONE WHERE JOEY MOVES OUT--W Borns D Lembeck PLOT Joey and

Chandler's blissful cohabitation ends when a Days star offers

Joey his posh pad. Mr. and Mrs. Geller learn Richard is dating a

twentysomething "twinkie," and they're shocked to discover it's

their little Harmonica. HISTORIC MOMENT Rachel gets a tattoo.

BEST LINE "It's not like we agreed to live together forever.

We're not Bert and Ernie." (Joey, to Chandler) CRITIQUE Yep, the

dissolution of TV's cutest quasi-gay couple is a shame, but it's

a stellar drop-in from the elder Gellers that makes this episode

a success. B+ [3]

40 THE ONE WHERE EDDIE MOVES IN--W Chase D Lembeck PLOT A lonely

Chandler takes in new roomie Eddie. Monica tries not to lose it

now that Ross is hanging out at her pad 24/7 due to his

blossoming relationship with Rachel. HISTORIC MOMENTS Joey and

Chandler's fave show, Baywatch, makes its first appearance; a

record company asks Phoebe to make a video for "Smelly Cat."

INTRODUCES Adam Goldberg as Eddie. CRITIQUE Chandler and Joey's

"breakup"--and the resulting tension over "rebound roommate"

Eddie--is a pitch-perfect relationship parody. It's also nice to

see Ross and Monica act like a bickering brother and sister for

a change. A- [2]

41 THE ONE WHERE DR. RAMORAY DIES--W Teleplay by Borkow; story

by Junge D Lembeck PLOT Joey mouths off to Soap Opera Digest

about scripting his lines on Days, so the writers put an empty

elevator shaft in Dr. Drake's future. Chandler discovers the

psycho side of Eddie. HISTORIC MOMENT Richard tells Monica he

loves her. BEST LINE "This game is grotesque! Twenty armless

guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer

forever? Ugh, hello--human rights violation!" (Phoebe on

Foosball) CRITIQUE A pair of standout moments: Eddie's

freakishly funny retelling of his recent breakup, and Monica and

Rachel's to-the-wire negotiations over the apartment's last

condom. B [2]

42 THE ONE WHERE EDDIE WON'T GO--W Curtis/Malins D Lembeck PLOT

Joey faces the harsh reality of unemployment, while the girls

get fired up by the feminist book Be Your Own Wind-Keeper. And

crazy Eddie won't move out. HISTORIC MOMENTS We learn Gunther

used to play "Bryce" on All My Children; Joey moves back in with

Chandler. BEST LINE "Joey, you owe $1,100 at I Love Lucite."

(Ross, surveying Joey's oversize Visa bill) CRITIQUE The

Wind-Keeper plot is a smart send-up of flaky New Age

jibber-jabber--and the gals are gamely "I Am Woman"--but the

feminism-as-punchline theme is a tad disturbing. The saving

grace is guest star Goldberg's twitchy turn as Eddie. B

43 THE ONE WHERE OLD YELLER DIES--W Teleplay by Chase; story by

Curtis/Malins D Lembeck PLOT Phoebe goes on a quest to see the

sad movie endings her mom shielded her from; Ross freaks out

Rachel by revealing his plans for their future. HISTORIC MOMENT

Ross and Rachel say the L-word. BEST LINE "Okay, what kind of a

sick doggie snuff film is this?" (Phoebe, at Yeller's tragic

conclusion) CRITIQUE Kudrow steals another show with Phoebe's

cinema-fueled disillusionment: "It should've been called It's a

Sucky Life and Just When You Think It Can't Suck Anymore, It

Does!" A-

44 THE ONE WITH THE BULLIES--W Sebastian Jones/Brian Buckner D

Lembeck PLOT When Ross and Chandler get to Central Perk, there

are two mean guys on the couch who won't budge. Phoebe makes

another attempt to meet her real dad; a broke Monica gets a job

at a '50s theme diner. INTRODUCES Giovanni Ribisi (seen in

Episode 29) as Phoebe's long-lost half brother Frank Buffay Jr.

CREATIVE CASTING Peter DeLuise and Boston Public's Nicky Katt as

the bullies. BEST LINE "I was a sous-chef at Cafe des Artistes.

How can I take a job where I have to make something called

Laverne and Curly fries?" (Monica) CRITIQUE An atypically

slapsticky episode, but it works: Perry and Schwimmer do the

girlyman thing to spastic perfection, and the final diner scene

with Monica dancing to "YMCA" while wearing flame-retardant

boobs is a howler. A- [4]

45 THE ONE WITH TWO PARTIES--W Junge D Lembeck PLOT Monica is

forced to split Rachel's birthday soiree between apartments to

keep the divorcing Greens apart. INTRODUCES Ron Leibman as

Rachel's abrasive dad, Dr. Leonard Green. CRITIQUE Chandler's

reaction to the wacky premise ("Think--what would Jack and

Chrissy do?") says it all--this episode is pure Three's Company,

from the hyperphysical comedy to the Jack Tripper-Mr. Roper

dynamic between Ross and Dr. Green. But the high-energy

shenanigans don't quite mesh with the melancholy divorce theme.

B- [3]

46 THE ONE WITH THE CHICKEN POX--W Brown Mandell D Lembeck PLOT

Phoebe's Navy submarine officer boyfriend resurfaces--but her

hopes for a romantic interlude are torpedoed when they both

contract chicken pox. Joey creates an alter ego, the irritatingly

successful family man "Joseph," for his new job at Chandler's

company. CREATIVE CASTING Charlie Sheen as Phoebe's sailor.

CRITIQUE A forced setup combined with an out-of-place guest star

(the pre-Spin City Sheen was clearly still uncomfortable with TV)

equals one disappointing episode. It's notable only for a pair of

dirty-by-Friends-standards one-liners in the cold open, including

"That'll teach you to lick my muffin!" C [4]

47 THE ONE WITH BARRY & MINDY'S WEDDING--W Teleplay by Mandell;

story by Ungerleider D Lembeck PLOT Rachel's duties as maid of

honor at her ex-fiance's wedding are made all the more

distasteful by her pouffy pink bridesmaid's dress. And

Chandler's online love interest turns out to be a lady from his

past. (We'll give you a hint: Oh. My. Gawd.) HISTORIC MOMENT

Monica and Richard come to an impasse over children--she wants

'em, he doesn't. CREATIVE CASTING Jennifer Grey must've been

busy, because Mindy is played here by Ed's Jana Marie Hupp. BEST

LINE "I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep." (Chandler, seeing

Rachel in her bridesmaid's getup) CRITIQUE A leisurely paced

season-ender with plenty of sharp one-liners, "TOWBAMW" is given

emotional heft by Richard and Monica's heartrending split--a

bittersweet scene that allows Cox and Selleck one last chance

(for now) to show off their superb chemistry. A- [4]

[BOX]

[KEY]

[[1] Ugly Naked Guy Sighting]

[[2] Phoebe Song Alert]

[[3] Parental Pop-In]

[[4] Celeb Drop-In (Non-recurring)]

Illustration/Photos:

COLOR PHOTO: GARY NULL