Mancuso PLOT Monica is still mourning Richard; Ross and Rachel

act out his Carrie Fisher gold-bikini fantasy from Return of the

Jedi. BEST LINE "This guy's so stupid--it's Count Rushmore!"

(Joey, watching Wheel of Fortune) new 'do Chandler, Joey

CRITIQUE The Princess Leia bit is a perfect example of the

writers spinning a plot out of a pop-culture touchstone, and

Ross' discovery that "women tell each other everything" is a

relatable, comedically rich concept. But Monica's dragginess is

a drag. B+ [3]

49 THE ONE WHERE NO ONE'S READY--W Ungerleider D Mancuso PLOT

Ross is the only one dressed a half hour before a museum

fund-raiser. Monica gets a "call me" message from Richard on her

machine. BEST LINE "I'm not gonna go commando in another man's

fatigues." (Joey, on why he has to wear underwear with a rented

tux) CRITIQUE The episode plays out in real time, revealing that

Friends still owes a large stylistic debt to Seinfeld (see "The

Chinese Restaurant"). Even the answering-machine gag feels

derivative of George Costanza. C

50 THE ONE WITH THE JAM--W Wil Calhoun D Bright PLOT Monica tries

to get over Richard by throwing herself into jam making, then

decides she wants to have a baby on her own--and discovers Joey's

been making deposits at a sperm bank. Phoebe falls for Malcolm,

her twin's stalker, but dumps him because he's still obsessed

with Ursula. CREATIVE CASTING David Arquette (the future Mr.

Courteney Cox) as Malcolm. BEST LINE "Pheebs, wake up and smell

the restraining order." (Chandler) CRITIQUE Monica's yearning for

a child adds a new emotional layer to her post-Richard recovery.

It's one of Cox's best performances. B [4]

51 THE ONE WITH THE METAPHORICAL TUNNEL--W Junge D Steve Zuckerman

PLOT Phoebe poses as Joey's agent, but her brutal honesty about

why he's being rejected drives him back to Estelle. Ross is

distressed to see his son playing with a Barbie doll. Chandler

decides to "go through the tunnel" and make a commitment to

Janice. CREATIVE CASTING "Amazing Discoveries" infomercial host

Mike Levey as himself. BEST LINE "So he plays with a Barbie? Big

deal. You used to dress up like a woman." (Monica, to Ross) NEW

'DO Monica CRITIQUE Phoebe's fake-agent routine is a riot, and so

is Chandler's attempt to settle down with Janice. Sensitive Ross'

concern over his son's masculinity seems out of character--until

we learn about his cross-dressing past. B+ [4]

52 THE ONE WITH FRANK JR.--W Scott Silveri/Shana Goldberg-Meehan D

Zuckerman PLOT Phoebe reunites with her brother, Frank Jr. The

gang discusses who'd be on their "freebie list"--five stars

they'd be allowed to sleep with and not jeopardize their

relationships. Ross puts Isabella Rossellini on his, then removes

her--only to bump into the star at Central Perk. CREATIVE CASTING

Isabella Rossellini as herself. BEST LINE "She's too

political--she probably wouldn't do it unless you donated four

cans of food first." (Chandler, on why Susan Sarandon, who later

guests on the show, wouldn't be on his list) CRITIQUE The

"freebie list" is a brilliant concept that had viewers

constructing their own. Ribisi is an excellent addition, and

Rossellini's scene is priceless. B+ [4]

53 THE ONE WITH THE FLASHBACK--W Kauffman/Crane D Bonerz PLOT

Janice asks if the Friends have ever almost hooked up, prompting

a flashback to three years earlier, when Chandler is searching

for a roommate (enter Joey) and putting the moves on Rachel

(who's getting cold feet over her impending marriage). Ross,

having learned his wife is gay, makes out on a pool table with

Phoebe, who is secretly moving out of Monica's apartment.

HISTORIC MOMENT Ugly Naked Guy wasn't always ugly--during the

flashback, Phoebe says, "Cute Naked Guy is really starting to put

on weight." CREATIVE CASTING Marissa Ribisi (Giovanni's sister)

as one of Rachel's friends. BEST LINE "Don't worry--I'm totally

okay with the gay thing." (Joey, upon meeting Chandler) NEW 'DO

Ross, Joey, Chandler, Rachel CRITIQUE Often a corny conceit, the

flashback is again used well here to allow us a peek at what the

gang was like right before the series began. The romantic tension

that develops between Joey and Monica is even funnier now that we

know she ends up with Chandler. A- [1] [4]

54 THE ONE WITH THE RACE CAR BED--W Seth Kurland D Mancuso PLOT

Ross dreads a dinner with Rachel's impatient doctor dad, who

calls him "Wethead." Joey goes with Monica to return a race-car

bed wrongly delivered by the Mattress King, a.k.a. Janice's ex,

and sees her cheating on her "Bing-aling." BEST LINE "If I

squint, I can pretend he's Alan Alda." (Rachel, on the

supersensitive Ross) CRITIQUE The car bed seems a random object

on which to hang an episode, but Janice's reunion with her ex is

a shocker. B [3]

55 THE ONE WITH THE POKING DEVICE--W Chase D Mancuso PLOT Joey

tells Chandler he caught Janice with her ex-husband. Ross

doesn't trust Rachel to babysit Ben, but it's Monica who bumps

the tot's head. BEST LINE "It serves me right for buying a

twelve-pack of condoms." (Chandler, after his breakup with

Janice) CRITIQUE The two-women-and-a-baby physical shtick with

Monica and Rachel works surprisingly well, but the one-liners

fall flat. And while Chandler's split with Janice was

inevitable, she'll be missed. B- [1] [2]

56 THE ONE WITH THE FOOTBALL--W Ungerleider D Bright PLOT Some

Thanksgiving touch football reawakens the sibling rivalry

between Ross and Monica. HISTORIC MOMENT We learn of the Geller

Bowl, and the Geller Cup--a troll doll nailed to a 2-by-4 that

Mr. Geller supposedly threw in the lake, but Monica actually

saved. CRITIQUE Set on a not-very-convincing soundstage, this

episode is painfully predictable (Monica and Ross are

hyper-competitive, Rachel's a spaz). Appropriately enough for

the holiday, it's a turkey. D

57 THE ONE WHERE RACHEL QUITS--W Curtis/Malins D Terry Hughes

PLOT Just before Christmas, Gunther tells Rachel she needs to be

retrained as a waitress, and she quits. After landing a job at

Fortunata Fashion, she finds herself making coffee again. Former

fatty Monica gets hooked on Mint Treasures. HISTORIC MOMENT We

learn from Rachel's resume that she was Cheer Squad cocaptain in

high school. CREATIVE CASTING Sixties' stand-up star Shelley

Berman as Rachel's new boss. CRITIQUE It's a nice gift to James

Michael Tyler that Gunther gets to speak more than his usual one

or two lines, and a good idea to get Rachel out of working at

Central Perk. But there's nothing more depressing than watching

a Xmas ep in any month other than December. C+ [4]

58 THE ONE WHERE CHANDLER CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH SISTER--W Junge D

Hughes PLOT A tipsy Chandler hooks up with one of Joey's sisters.

Rachel meets Mark, who helps her get a job at Bloomingdale's.

HISTORIC MOMENT Monica says Chandler stuck his tongue down her

throat at the party. Foreshadowing! INTRODUCES Steven Eckholdt

(It's like, you know...) as Mark. CREATIVE CASTING Alex Meneses

(Everybody Loves Raymond) as Joey's sister Cookie. CRITIQUE This

episode titillatingly pushes the sexual envelope (there's even

talk of a threesome Joey once had). And watching Chandler try to

figure out which sister he fooled around with plays to Perry's

strengths (befuddlement being one of them). B+ [4]

59 THE ONE WITH ALL THE JEALOUSY--W Abrams D Benson PLOT Ross gets

jealous when Mark takes Rachel to lunch. Monica hooks up with

Julio, a hunky coworker at the diner, only to discover his

contempt for American women. Joey auditions for A Tale of Two

Cities, not realizing the role requires dance experience, which

he doesn't have (although his resume lists a stint with Twyla

Tharp). BEST LINE "Everybody lies on their resumes--I wasn't one

of the Zoom kids either." (Joey) CRITIQUE The script sheds

insight on male-female dynamics, as Chandler and Joey explain how

Mark is positioning himself to become Rachel's confidant before

making his move. And speaking of moves, Joey's dance scenes are a

kick. B+

60 THE ONE WHERE MONICA & RICHARD ARE FRIENDS--W Borkow D Benson

PLOT Monica runs into Richard at the video store. Phoebe's new

boyfriend, Robert, has a habit of hanging out of his shorts (as

Chandler discovers, to his horror). BEST LINE "Hey buddy, this is

a family place--put the mouse back in the house." (Gunther,

alerting Robert to his exposure) CRITIQUE The guys' reaction to

Robert's unintentional exhibitionism is side-splitting (they

decide not to look directly at it--"like an eclipse"). B

61 THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S EX-PARTNER--W Calhoun D Benson PLOT Phoebe

reunites with former musical collaborator Leslie, but the duo

then have a falling out over "Smelly Cat." Chandler meets Joey's

ex Ginger, whose artificial leg Joey accidentally burned. Mark

leaves his job at Bloomie's (to Ross' delight) but plans to go to

a lecture with Rachel (to Ross' dismay). HISTORIC MOMENT Chandler

undergoes a "nubbinectomy" to remove his third nipple. CREATIVE

CASTING E.G. Daily (Rugrats) as Leslie, and Sherilyn Fenn (Twin

Peaks) as Ginger. BEST LINE "When we were playing together, that

was the most fun I ever had in, like, all my lives." (Phoebe,

discussing Leslie) CRITIQUE The wooden-leg plotline is tasteless.

At least the tension between Ross and Rachel sets the stage for

their impending breakup. C [2] [4]

62 THE ONE WHERE ROSS & RACHEL TAKE A BREAK--W Borkow D Burrows

PLOT After Rachel tells Ross she has to cancel their anniversary

plans, he surprises her at the office. Later, she tells him they

need to "take a break." He winds up sleeping with Chloe, the

hottie from the copy store. HISTORIC MOMENT Duh--Ross and Rachel

break up. BEST LINE "You do not bring a picnic basket to

somebody's work--unless maybe they're a park ranger." (Rachel,

to Ross) CRITIQUE There's real emotional resonance to Ross and

Rachel's split. At the same time, the ep lays the groundwork for

one of the series' funniest mantras: "We were on a break!" A [2]

63 THE ONE WITH THE MORNING AFTER--W Kauffman/Crane D Burrows PLOT

Ross frantically tries to keep Rachel from finding out he's slept

with Chloe, but Gunther spills the beans. BEST LINE "What were

you trying to put it in--her purse?" (Rachel, after Ross says his

sleeping with Chloe was a "mistake") CRITIQUE Schwimmer and

Aniston have never been more heartbreakingly believable. Just as

they're breaking up, they cement their status as one of TV's

greatest couples. A-

64 THE ONE WITHOUT THE SKI TRIP--W Silveri/Goldberg-Meehan D Sam

Simon PLOT Rachel invites everyone but Ross skiing, but when

Phoebe's cab runs out of gas, who else are they gonna call?

Meanwhile, Chandler takes up smoking again. HISTORIC MOMENT

Chandler reveals that his father once kidnapped him after Cub

Scouts. BEST LINE "I can handle it--handle's my middle name.

Actually, it's the middle part of my first name." (Chandler)

CRITIQUE Ross and Rachel's breakup means a new dynamic among the

sextet, but the temporary change of locale (most of the episode

is set at a rest stop where they're stranded) takes the show out

of its element (and not in a good way). Plus, a plot about Perry

battling an addiction doesn't seem so funny in light of later

real-life events. C+

65 THE ONE WITH THE HYPNOSIS TAPE--W Kurland D Benson PLOT Chandler

uses a hypnosis tape to quit smoking, but because it's geared

toward women, he starts acting more feminine. Frank Jr. announces

he's getting married to his home ec teacher, Mrs. Knight. Pete, a

millionaire Monica doesn't find attractive, takes her out for an

Italian dinner--in Rome. INTRODUCES Jon Favreau (Swingers) as

Pete; Debra Jo Rupp (That 70s Show) as Frank Jr.'s fiancee/school

teacher. BEST LINE "Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on

Walker, Texas Ranger?" (Rachel, proving to Monica she has no

social life) CRITIQUE Frank Jr.'s back--yay! Rupp brings a mature

touch to her role, and Chandler's gender confusion is hysterical,

in every sense of the word. A-

66 THE ONE WITH THE TINY T-SHIRT--W Chase D Hughes PLOT Mark

confesses his crush to Rachel and asks her out. Monica goes on

another date with Pete. Joey lands a lead in an Off Broadway play

opposite the sexy but contemptuous Kate. Rachel begins dating,

and she and Ross return each other's stuff (including the title's

tee). INTRODUCES Dina Meyer (Starship Troopers) as Kate. BEST

LINE "I know I'm no Jon Bon Jovi. Or someone you find

attractive." (Pete, to Monica) CRITIQUE Ross' reaction to

Rachel's first post-breakup date is uproariously realistic, and

when he gives his Frankie Goes to Hollywood T-shirt to her as a

peace offering, it's undeniably affecting. B+

67 THE ONE WITH THE DOLLHOUSE--W Calhoun D Hughes PLOT Monica

inherits her Aunt Sylvia's dollhouse; Rachel's insensitive boss

expresses interest in Chandler; Joey has a fling with Kate's

understudy, which spurs Kate to sleep with him. INTRODUCES Alison

LaPlaca as Rachel's boss. CREATIVE CASTING Jennifer Milmore

(Jesse) as the understudy. BEST LINE "I'm not interested in her

sweater. It's what's underneath her sweater that counts." (Joey

to Kate, about her wool-clad understudy) CRITIQUE The guest cast

just keeps getting stronger with the addition of LaPlaca (Duet,

Tom), but the dollhouse stuff is kinda cloying. B [4]

68 THE ONE WITH A CHICK. AND A DUCK--W Brown D Lembeck PLOT Moping

over Kate, Joey finds solace with a new chick--a real baby

chicken. Chandler tries to dump the chick at a shelter, but winds

up bringing home a duck. Pete buys a restaurant and wants Monica

to be its head chef. HISTORIC MOMENT Chandler names the chick

Yasmine, after Baywatch babe Yasmine Bleeth. CREATIVE CASTING NYC

news anchor Sue Simmons as herself. BEST LINE "Do you guys know

how to get a chick out of a VCR?" (a panicked Chandler, running

into Rachel's apartment) NEW 'DO Chandler CRITIQUE It's hard not

to quack up at the duck-and-chick gags--especially when Joey and

Chandler have a fight over who's spending more time with them.

The Pete-Monica subplot gets a new life, extending the huggable

Favreau's stay. B+ [4]

69 THE ONE WITH THE SCREAMER--W Silveri/Goldberg-Meehan D Bonerz

PLOT Rachel's new boyfriend, Tommy, turns out to have a raging

temper, but only shows it in front of Ross. Joey consoles Kate

after a bad review. CREATIVE CASTING Ben Stiller as Tommy; Peter

Bonerz (Dr. Jerry Robinson from The Bob Newhart Show and the

episode's director) as a theater patron. BEST LINE "I always have

to pick the smartest guy or the most talented guy. Why couldn't I

just pick someone like you?" (Kate, to Joey) CRITIQUE Stiller's a

scream--he may be Friends' funniest guest star ever. Between

Stiller, Jon Favreau, Dina Meyer, and June Gable (as Joey's

chain-smoking agent, Estelle), this is the rare episode with a

supporting roster as talented as its regulars. A [4]

70 THE ONE WITH ROSS'S THING--W Andrew Reich/Ted Cohen D Shelley

Jensen PLOT Ross finds a growth on his lower back and goes to see

Phoebe's herbalist. Pheebs juggles two guys, a firefighter and a

teacher, who don't know about each other. Monica becomes

convinced that Pete is preparing to propose, but what he really

tells her is that he wants to become...the Ultimate Fighting

Champion? HISTORIC MOMENT Chandler names the duck Dick. CREATIVE

CASTING Kevin McDonald (Kids in the Hall) as Guru Saj. BEST LINE

"What do you know? You married a lesbian!" (Rachel, after Ross

offers Monica marital advice) CRITIQUE Neither of Phoebe's beaux

is given enough screen time to do anything particularly

interesting. But Rachel's overexcited reaction to Monica's

presumed wedding wins laughs, as does Ross' paranoia about his

health. B [2] [4]

71 THE ONE WITH THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPION--W Teleplay by

Silveri/Goldberg-Meehan; story by Mark J. Kunerth/Pang-Ni

Landrum D Benson PLOT Pete gets whupped in his Ultimate Fighting

match but refuses to quit. Chandler is mortified when his new

boss slaps his butt. Phoebe asks Rachel if she can set Ross up

with her friend Bonnie, who used to be bald. HISTORIC MOMENT

Ross uses the name of future guest star Winona Ryder to get

reservations at a swanky restaurant. INTRODUCES Sam McMurray

(The Tracey Ullman Show) as Chandler's boss; Christine Taylor

(The Brady Bunch Movie) as Bonnie. CREATIVE CASTING Robin

Williams and Billy Crystal crowd the gang on the couch at

Central Perk. BEST LINE "I don't understand guys. I would never

congratulate Monica on a great stew by, you know, grabbing her

boob." (Rachel, about bottom-smacking) CRITIQUE Luckily,

Williams and Crystal (in a blatant plug for their soon-to-flop

movie Father's Day) are gone before the opening credits. The

episode gets much better, thanks to Chandler's inspired efforts

to avoid his touchy-feely boss. B+ [4]

72 THE ONE AT THE BEACH--W Teleplay by Chase; story by

Landrum/Kunerth D Fryman PLOT Phoebe and Co. head to the beach

in Montauk, N.Y., so she can meet an old friend of her mother's,

also named Phoebe, who makes a startling revelation. During the

trip, Rachel tricks Bonnie into shaving her head again--a

complete turnoff to Ross. HISTORIC MOMENT Chandler tells Monica,

"If worst comes to worst, I'll be your boyfriend." She laughs

and tells him that he's not boyfriend material. She'll soon

change her tune... INTRODUCES Teri Garr (Tootsie) as Phoebe's

biological mom, Phoebe Sr. BEST LINE "C'mon, Daddy needs a new

pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the prehistoric

forensics department." (Ross, rolling the dice during a strip

Happy Days board game) NEW 'DO Chandler CRITIQUE Garr's casting

is nothing short of genius (EW had previously suggested she

should play the part of Phoebe's mother). Rachel's trick on

Bonnie is almost as entertaining as Ross' horrified reaction

("You can feel all the bones in your skull!"). And it's great to

see Ross and Rachel kissing again. A [3]

[BOX]

[KEY]

[[1] Ugly Naked Guy Sighting]

[[2] Phoebe Song Alert]

[[3] Parental Pop-In]

[[4] Celeb Drop-In (Non-recurring)]

Illustration/Photos:

COLOR PHOTO: GARY NULL

CELEBRITY JEOPARDY Freebie-list reject Rossellini gives a

groveling Ross the brush-off

COLOR PHOTO: NBC/EVERETT COLLECTION

HUDDLE MUDDLE A Thanksgiving football game turns nasty

COLOR PHOTO: PAUL DRINKWATER

MUG MEN Crystal, Williams