sun proves elusive for the gang as they wind up their summer in

Montauk. Ross dumps bald Bonnie after a passionate canoodle with

Rachel, who later hands him an 18-page letter he falls asleep

reading. The next morning she asks him simply, "Does it?" He

takes a chance, saying it does...then finds that "it does" means

he's agreed to take responsibility for everything that went wrong

with their relationship. Chandler provides some highly

unconventional first aid to Monica's jellyfish sting...he pees on

it. Phoebe learns that she was the product of a menage a trois.

CRITIQUE A solid, if not spectacular, beginning to what may be

the series' strongest season. With Chandler's medicinal golden

shower, the show once again mines body-based shame for big

laughs. A- [2] [3]

74 THE ONE WITH THE CAT--W Jill Condon/Amy Toomin D Jensen PLOT A

stray feline bounds into Central Perk and Phoebe decides it's the

reincarnation of her mom, Lily. Monica's elated to be asked out

by Chip Matthews, the big man on her high school campus. While

trying to sell his entertainment center, Joey is locked inside

while the "buyer" robs his apartment. BEST LINE "The fat girl

inside me really wants to go. I owe her this." (Monica, on why

she wants to date Chip) CRITIQUE Cox is just swell bringing to

life Monica's reenactment and vindication of her tortured

adolescence, while Perry and LeBlanc continue to hone their

Abbott and Costello-esque jiving (Joey, speaking of the

buyer-turned-burglar: "If I ever run into that guy again, you

know what I'm going to do?" Chandler: "Bend over?") A- [2]

75 THE ONE WITH THE CUFFS--W Kurland D Bonerz PLOT "Could we be

more white trash?" asks Chandler, as he and Joey furnish their

looted apartment with a canoe and some patio furniture. Chandler

is sleeping with Rachel's boss, Joanna, who leaves him handcuffed

and pantless in her office. Mrs. Geller bets that her daughter

will "pull a Monica" while catering her party. She's right.

HISTORIC MOMENT Joey reads the New York Times! CREATIVE CASTING

Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller) as an encyclopedia salesman.

CRITIQUE Here's a theory: As Perry and Aniston go, so goes the

show. In "Cuffs," separately and together, they're a frenzied

physical riot. A [3] [4]

76 THE ONE WITH THE BALLROOM DANCING--W Reich/Cohen D Mancuso PLOT

The building's huffy superintendent, Treeger, threatens to evict

the illegally subletting girls...unless Joey helps him polish his

rug-cutting skills in preparation for a formal dance. Phoebe gets

hot and bothered over a hunky massage regular. HISTORIC MOMENT

Phoebe is fired after she and said client are caught making out.

BEST LINE "Hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet?" (Monica, to Joey)

CRITIQUE LeBlanc and Hagerty (as the super) elevate their

scenario from merely silly to downright cute. The Chandler

subPLOT (wherein he enlists Ross to help him quit his gym

membership) reminds us that Joey's not the only dimwit on the

premises. B+

77 THE ONE WITH JOEY'S NEW GIRLFRIEND--W Curtis/ Malins D Mancuso

PLOT Chandler falls for Kathy, Joey's new flame. Ross and Rachel

try to stoke each other's jealousy with their new squeezes, but

it turns out they're really just babysitting: he literally; she

figuratively, with an undergrad doofus. HISTORIC MOMENT We learn

Rachel's birthday is May 5. INTRODUCES Paget Brewster (The

Trouble With Normal) as Kathy. CRITIQUE Perry shines, both in the

early scene where the gang teases him about his crush, and in his

Mod Squad-themed dash to say hello to Kathy. B+ [2]

78 THE ONE WITH THE DIRTY GIRL--W Silveri/Goldberg-Meehan D Jensen

PLOT Ross dates Cheryl, an extremely hot--and

slovenly--paleontology doctoral candidate. Chandler buys Kathy a

birthday gift (an early edition of her favorite childhood book,

The Velveteen Rabbit), but allows Joey to claim it as his own

when he makes a boneheaded purchase (a pen that's also a clock!).

HISTORIC MOMENT Monica and Phoebe become catering partners and

have trouble collecting their fee from a too-merry widow after

her husband's funeral. CREATIVE CASTING Actually, we're going to

call supermodel Rebecca Romijn-Stamos' sweeps-month appearance as

Cheryl uncreative casting. BEST LINE "Did Homo erectus hunt with

wooden tools?" (Ross, after Cheryl asks him whether he wants to

come in, post-date) CRITIQUE Ross' loose-limbed revulsion at

Cheryl's untidy habits is almost as sublime as Chandler's O.

Henry-worthy self-sacrifice. Nice editing in the post-funeral

song- and-dance scene too. A- [3] [4]

79 THE ONE WHERE CHANDLER CROSSES THE LINE--W Chase D Bright

PLOT Kathy becomes aware of Chandler's feelings for her, and

lets him know they're mutual. After the two impulsively make

out, Chandler's got some 'splaining to do. Ross, with Phoebe's

encouragement--and everyone else's aversion--takes to the

keyboard to debut his "sound." HISTORIC MOMENT Guilt-ridden

Chandler refurnishes the boys' apartment, complete with dual

recliners and a new Foosball table. But, knowing of his

betrayal, Joey laments, "This apartment is empty to me. And I'm

not happy about you, either." BEST LINE "I can't believe I ever

let him touch me with those fingers." (Rachel, after hearing

Ross' playing) CRITIQUE Ross' musical stylings provide yet

another peek into his weirdo geek alienation, while Phoebe's awe

at his "talent" seems perfectly appropriate. It's a nice giddy

sideshow to the near-operatic arc that's developed around Joey

and Chandler. A- [2]

80 THE ONE WITH CHANDLER IN A BOX--W Borkow D Bonerz PLOT As

punishment for betraying Joey (and inspired by Joey's

entertainment-center imprisonment a few episodes ago), Chandler

spends Thanksgiving in a carton in Monica's living room. Monica

injures her eye poking around in the freezer and winds up

consulting--and briefly dating--Richard's doctor son. HISTORIC

MOMENT Monica wears an eye patch. CREATIVE CASTING Never Been

Kissed's Michael Vartan as Dr. Burke. BEST LINE "You can't tell,

but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys." (A

box-bound Chandler) CRITIQUE The sitcom bucks its tradition of

offering subpar Turkey Day episodes. Great performances all

around, though Perry, despite spending most of the episode inside

a box with only his fingers visible, steals the show. A [4]

81 THE ONE WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO PARTY--W Reich/ Cohen D Bonerz

PLOT The legendary Mike "Gandalf" Ganderson ("only, like, the

funnest guy in the world" according to Ross) is coming to town to

lead the boys on a bacchanalian adventure...but he gets stuck in

Chicago, so they go it alone. Joanna promises to support Rachel

in her pursuit of a promotion, then cuts her down in front of the

hiring panel. Monica's scathing review of a local restaurant gets

her hired as its chef. HISTORIC MOMENTS We learn that Ross likes

to "go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath"; Joanna is

killed by a cab. BEST LINE Explaining the origin of Ganderson's

nickname, Ross says: "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high

school?" Joey: "No, I had sex in high school." CRITIQUE "Party"

is pleasantly lightweight, notable for the post-party scene in

which the boys, having stopped trying to recapture their

up-all-night youth, are the most mature we've seen them to date.

Bummer to lose Alison LaPlaca's Joanna; her comic possibilities

were endless. B+

82 THE ONE WITH THE GIRL FROM POUGHKEEPSIE--W Silveri D Gary

Halvorson PLOT Lonely at holiday time, Rachel allows Chandler to

set her up with someone at his office. Monica faces a resentful

kitchen staff, most of whom are related to her predecessor (fired

as a result of her review); she decides to hire, then fire, Joey

to show them who's boss. BEST LINE Rachel: "Chandler, you have

the best taste in men!" Chandler: "Well, like father, like son."

CRITIQUE The eponymous subplot--a run-ragged Ross dates both an

unfunny uptown woman and a cute, funny Poughkeepsie girl--is a

laugh loser. B- [2]

83 THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S UTERUS--W Kurland D David Steinberg Plot

No sooner do Frank Jr. and Alice tie the knot than they ask

Phoebe if she'll carry their baby for them; Phoebe Sr. advises

her to think twice, and as a cautionary lesson, gives her a puppy

to take care of. Ross gets Joey a job as a tour guide at the

museum. HISTORIC MOMENTS The climactic museum-lunchroom scene, in

which Ross orates against seating segregation, features not one

but two black characters! We learn that Phoebe Sr.'s two passions

are pottery and erotica (or, as Phoebe says, erottery). BEST LINE

Phoebe: "I'm gonna be giving someone the greatest gift you can

possibly give." Chandler: "You're gonna carry their child and get

them a Sony PlayStation?" CRITIQUE "Uterus" commences the

Phoebe-as-mom arc (created to accommodate Kudrow's real-life

pregnancy), but it's Rachel, Monica, and Chandler who provide the

ep's real comic nuggets--as when the girls educate an anxious

Chandler about female erogenous zones. B+ [3]

84 THE ONE WITH THE EMBRYOS--W Condon/Toomin D Bright PLOT

Joey's observation that laundry day means Monica is wearing

old-lady undies sets off a who-knows-who-better battle between

the boys and girls. If the girls win, the boys get rid of the

chick and duck; if the boys win, they get Mon's big purple

apartment. Phoebe undergoes implantation of Alice's embryos.

HISTORIC MOMENTS Chandler and Joey win the girls' pad; by way of

Ross' high-stakes trivia questions, we learn scads of arcane

information about the Friends. BEST LINE "He's a transponster!"

(Rachel, wildly--and incorrectly--guessing the answer to the

trivia question "What is Chandler Bing's job?") CRITIQUE Thanks

to the trivia contest alone, "Embryos" is quite possibly

Friends' finest moment. A+ [2]

85 THE ONE WITH RACHEL'S CRUSH--W Goldberg-Meehan D Dana J. de

Vally PLOT Kathy's steamy, half-naked appearance in a play has

got Chandler worried about her offstage fidelity; Rachel is

transferred to the personal-shopping department, where she

clumsily tries to act on her feelings for Joshua, a newly

divorced client. HISTORIC MOMENT We learn that Rachel has never

asked a guy out. INTRODUCES Mr. Waltham (Paxton Whitehead),

Rachel's stuffy new boss; onetime Aniston beau, Tate Donovan, as

Joshua. BEST LINE "Why don't you call me when you grow up?"

(Kathy, weary of Chandler's obsessive suspicion) Chandler: "Yeah,

well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon!" CRITIQUE The

hits just keep on coming for the Joblike Chandler, as his worst

fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also the beginning of a

primo Rachel plot--her hapless pursuit of Joshua elicits sheer

brilliance from Aniston. B+

86 THE ONE WITH JOEY'S DIRTY DAY--W Calhoun D Bonerz PLOT Joey

returns from a fishing trip a little, um, fragrant, which earns

him a misguided pep talk from his costar Charlton Heston. A

double-booked Rachel asks Ross to take out Mr. Waltham's niece

Emily from England. Monica and Phoebe try to help Chandler

through the stages of breakup grief. INTRODUCES British actress

Helen Baxendale as Emily, who arrives soaked and bitchy, but

turns out to be a peach. HISTORIC MOMENT The girls take Chandler

to a strip club in the futile hope of raising his spirits. Best

Line Phoebe, consoling Rachel: "Aw, Pheebes." Rachel: "Honey,

that's your name." Phoebe: "That's short for Phoebe? I thought

that was just what we called each other." CREATIVE CASTING The

inimitable Heston, whose conversation with Joey about actors

"stinking" is a real beaut. CRITIQUE "Dirty Day" gives everyone

something funny and/or meaningful to do, and, with the arrival of

Emily, gets the season's climactic arc started. B+ [4]

87 THE ONE WITH ALL THE RUGBY--W Teleplay by Calhoun; story by

Reich/Cohen D Burrows PLOT Ross meets a couple of rugby-playing

buddies of Emily's and feels compelled to prove his mettle.

Chandler has a chance meeting and date with the

nails-on-blackboard Janice, now divorced and "riding the alimony

pony." HISTORIC MOMENT Chandler enjoys a manicure and pedicure

with Rachel. CRITIQUE More physical fun from Schwimmer, who's

always good for some yuks when Ross' masculinity is challenged.

Monica, with her electric-switch obsession, is once again stuck

with an extremely minor plotline. Perry and Wheeler's chemistry

makes their generally strained story work. B

88 THE ONE WITH THE FAKE PARTY--W Teleplay by

Goldberg-Meehan/Silveri; story by Alicia Sky Varinaitis D

Lembeck PLOT When pregnant vegetarian Phoebe is tortured by a

craving for meat, Joey offers to trade dietary preferences with

her. After learning that Joshua isn't ready to date, Rachel is

determined to invite him to an as-yet-unplanned bon voyage party

for Emily. HISTORIC MOMENT Phoebe eats meat! CRITIQUE While a

stunning group effort, "Fake Party" is dominated by Aniston, who

in 22 wardrobe-changing, tooth-cracking, rib-tickling minutes

delivers another Lucy-worthy tour de force that should have been

enough to snag her an Emmy. Alas, it didn't. A-

89 THE ONE WITH THE FREE PORN--W Teleplay by Richard Goodman; story

by Kunerth D Lembeck PLOT Joey and Chandler happen upon an

unscrambled "adult" cable channel and decide they'd better not

shut off the set lest they lose it. Phoebe learns she's having

triplets. HISTORIC MOMENTS Ross tells Emily he loves her...and she

says "Thank you." Phoebe considers several new business ventures,

including Relaxi Taxi, a massage/cab service, and selling

Ginsu-like steak knives door-to-door. BEST LINE "I was just at

the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didn't

ask me to do it with her in the vault!" (The porn-immersed

Chandler) CRITIQUE As comedy formulas go, Joey + Chandler + free

smut = a laugh riot. B+

90 THE ONE WITH RACHEL'S NEW DRESS--W Teleplay by Condon/Toomin;

story by Reich/Cohen D Mancuso PLOT Ross gets homophobic

(literally) when Emily hits it off with Susan, Carol's lover, and

agrees to show her around London on her upcoming holiday.

Joshua's folks arrive home prematurely from their vacation to

find a skimpily clad Rachel in their home. Frank Jr. and Alice

decide they want Phoebe to name one of the babies. HISTORIC

MOMENT Phoebe announces that one of the triplets will be named

Chandler. CREATIVE CASTING Pat Crowley (Port Charles) and John

Bennett Perry (Matthew's dad) as Joshua's parents. CRITIQUE Aside

from Joey and Chandler's childlike vying to be the namesake of

Phoebe's kid-to-be, the light, transitional "Dress" seems

designed mostly to scoot the show's current romantic

relationships toward the finale. B- [2] [3] [4]

91 THE ONE WITH ALL THE HASTE--W Calhoun/Silveri D Bright PLOT

After Rachel is irked one too many times by the singing neighbor

across the courtyard, the battle to reswap apartments is on. Ross

can't stand the thought of Emily leaving and decides to do

something about it. HISTORIC MOMENTS Ross and Emily get engaged

and the girls take back their pad. BEST LINE "What, we don't make

enough fun of you already?" (Joey to Ross, who's sporting a new

earring) CRITIQUE Funny how often Friends uses lesbianism as a

comic device. This time, the prospect of a 60-second Monica and

Rachel sapphic kiss is enough to make Chandler and Joey give back

the girls' pad. Bonus points for a bizarrely entertaining kicker:

Joey's "Morning's Here" duet with the crooning neighbor. B

92 THE ONE WITH ALL THE WEDDING DRESSES--W Teleplay by

Curtis/Malins; story by Chase D Mancuso PLOT The girls are

afflicted with wedding envy: Rachel blurts out an impromptu

proposal to Joshua, while Monica and Phoebe take to hanging

around the house in full matrimonial regalia. BEST LINE Monica:

"This isn't even my dress!" Phoebe: "Well, at least you didn't

rent yours from a store called It's Not Too Late." CRITIQUE For

once this season, Cox--with some able support from Kudrow--is

allowed to steal the show; her obsessive marital fascination is

a thing of comic beauty. B

93 THE ONE WITH THE INVITATIONS--W Kurland D Bonerz PLOT Emily's

by-the-by musing as to the wisdom of inviting exes to one's

wedding has Ross (and us) waxing nostalgic with flashbacks of

his and Rachel's history. CRITIQUE The dreaded clip show is

usually filler designed to give a show's cast and crew a week

off. Nevertheless, "Invitations" is still a bittersweet homage

that gives the series' most resonant relationship its due. B

[2] [3]

94 THE ONE WITH THE WORST BEST MAN EVER--W Teleplay by

Curtis/Malins; story by Kurland D Bonerz PLOT Phoebe's mood

swings have her careening from simpering damsel to seething

bitch, leaving Monica and Rachel walking on eggshells. Ross'

best man--Joey--orchestrates a bachelor party complete with

souvenir T-shirts, a hot stripper...and a missing wedding ring.

CRITIQUE Okay, we forgave the clip show, but this water-treading

half hour seems just plain lazy. C

95-96 THE ONE WITH ROSS'S WEDDING PART 1 & 2--W Part 1: Borkow;

Part 2: Teleplay by Goldberg-Meehan/Silveri; story by

Condon/Toomin D Bright PLOT The gang--minus a pregnant Phoebe

and a heartbroken Rachel--head across the pond for Ross and

Emily's "I do"s. HISTORIC MOMENT Aside from the obvious,

there's Chandler and Monica's wedding's-eve hookup, a sweet

narrative bookend to the flirty sparring and therapeutic peeing

they shared in the season opener. CREATIVE CASTING This

Anglopalooza of stunt casting boasts a slew of cheeky cameos

(Richard Branson, Hugh Laurie, June Whitfield, Olivia Williams,

Fergie) as well as two howling turns from Tom Conti and

Absolutely Fabulous' Jennifer Saunders as Emily's parents, the

Walthams. CRITIQUE Aching and sidesplitting, "Wedding" is a

near-perfect finale that finds everyone at the top of their game

(ironically, Kudrow's best work of the season is phoned in,

literally, with Phoebe trying to get word to her pals that

Rachel's en route to the nuptials). It's also got primo guest

stars, a tantalizing cliff-hanger, and, in Chandler and Monica,

a relationship that will have reverberations for seasons to

come. A [3] [4]

[BOX]

[KEY]

[[1] Ugly Naked Guy Sighting]

[[2] Phoebe Song Alert]

[[3] Parental Pop-In]

[[4] Celeb Drop-In (Non-recurring)]

Illustration/Photos:

COLOR PHOTO: PAUL DRINKWATER

COFFEE MATES Joey's new girlfriend (Brewster) proves irresistible

to a guilt-ridden Chandler

COLOR PHOTO: EVERETT COLLECTION

WOMB FOR EVERYONE Ribisi and Rupp go the surrogate route

COLOR PHOTO: WARNER BROS. TV/G. NULL/MPTV.NET

VEILED DESIRES The girls address their wedding envy