Ross tries to undo the titular "I do" snafu with Emily, Monica

and Chandler handle their postcoital awkwardness by agreeing to

keep doin' it until they get back to New York. HISTORIC MOMENT

According to Rachel, we learn that Ross' obsession with her

really flourished the summer after ninth grade, when he saw her

in a two-piece bathing suit. INTRODUCES The faux surname

Filangie (as in Dr. Filangie, a.k.a. Phoebe, who's stuck in New

York and is desperately trying to trick Emily's stepmom into

thinking Ross has some kind of name disorder). Phoebe will trot

out the moniker again in Episode 120. BEST LINE "This is worse

than when he married the lesbian." (Ross' mom) NEW 'DO Chandler

CRITIQUE The screwed-up nuptials give Schwimmer a chance to be

at his puppy-dog-pathetic best, while the hilariously horny

adventures of Monica and Chandler--who keep getting stymied in

their bid to get more London sack time--add another layer of

comic franticness. A [3]

98 THE ONE WITH ALL THE KISSING--W Calhoun D Halvorson PLOT Monica

and Chandler continue to flagrantly flout the Not-in-New York

rule. Ross tries to woo back Emily. Rachel decides to tell Ross

she's still in love with him, prompting an exasperated Monica to

insist she make all of Rachel's decisions from now on. BEST LINE

"I'm going to go pack my ass off." (Phoebe, who--after missing out

on the London trip--wants to make the most of the group's intended

outing to Atlantic City) CRITIQUE So many gems to pick from in

this episode: Chandler covering his absent-minded Monica smooches

by repeatedly locking lips with Rachel and Phoebe (causing the

annoyed former to dub him "Mr. Kissy"); Phoebe's bitterness at

all the London reminiscences; Monica's control-freakish attempts

to salvage Rachel's romantic life. The best scene, thanks to its

sly mixture of moist-eyed melancholy and gut-busting guffaws,

comes when Rachel finally tells Ross she still loves him (Ross'

response: "I'm not sure what to do with that right now") and then

breaks out into gales of nervous laughter. Oh yeah, and after all

that, Phoebe's water breaks. A-

99 THE ONE HUNDREDTH--W Kauffman/Crane D Bright PLOT With Joey's

videocam in tow, the gang kicks off the show's 100th episode with

a trip to Beth Israel Medical Center, where Phoebe gives birth to

her brother's triplets. BEST LINE "I'm, um, Phoebe Buffay and I

have babies coming out of me." (Phoebe, upon being admitted to

the hospital) CRITIQUE Although it was a nice touch to offset the

"very special episode" vibe with Monica and Chandler's first

fight, the whole shebang is almost completely torpedoed by a

ludicrous subPLOTinvolving an Arthur Fonzarelli-obsessed

obstetrician. Luckily, Phoebe (who, in the Fonz plot's defense,

does get to use the word "dilated-amundo") ends the ep on a high

note with her sweet interaction with the newborn trio ("Little

high-fives"). B

100 THE ONE WHERE PHOEBE HATES PBS--W Curtis D Jensen PLOT

Phoebe and Joey (who lands a gig on a PBS telethon) engage in

the age-old "Is there such a thing as altruism?" debate (she

says yes, he says no). Ross, who's still dealing with his

postnuptial fallout, gets an ultimatum from Emily: She'll move

to New York to be with him if he promises never to see Rachel

again. HISTORIC MOMENT We discover that after Phoebe's mom Lily

committed suicide, Phoebe wrote a letter to Sesame Street that

went unanswered--the show sent a key chain instead. (Says

Phoebe: "By that time, I was living in a box. I didn't have

keys.") CREATIVE CASTING Gary Collins pops up as the PBS

telethon host. BEST LINE "I just gave birth to three children

and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is

right." (Phoebe) CRITIQUE Any episode that features a goofy

Chandler dance (he's all psyched because Monica referred to him

as "the best sex she ever had") can't be all bad, even if Joey's

inane shenanigans at the telethon threaten to make it so. Ross'

tortured approach to Emily's ultimatum results in a beautifully

Shakespearean denouement: An in-the-dark Rachel advises him to

do whatever he has to do to make his marriage work. B+ [4]

101 THE ONE WITH THE KIPS--W Silveri D de Vally PLOT Tired of having

to sneak around, Monica and Chandler decide to go away for the

weekend (with disastrous results). An antacid-swigging Ross

finally tells Rachel about Emily's ultimatum. Fearing she's the

new Kip (i.e., Chandler's old roommate who, after dating and

breaking up with Monica, couldn't be in the same room with her,

thereby ostracizing him from the group), Rachel tries to get a

surprisingly receptive Phoebe to start a new gang. HISTORIC

MOMENT Thanks to a missing eyelash curler and a Donald Trump

sighting, Joey finds out about M&C. CRITIQUEA mostly plodding

affair save for two priceless frames: the look on hypercritical

Monica's face when Chandler admonishes her with "Jeez, relax mom"

and the look on Joey's mug when he finally realizes his roomie is

doing it with Ross' sister. B

103 THE ONE WITH THE YETI--W Junge D Halvorson PLOT Emily's

coming to town, which means it's time for Ross to follow through

on his pledge to not see Rachel. Animal-lover Phoebe receives an

heirloom mink coat from Phoebe Sr. Rachel starts the mating

dance with the titular hairy beast, a.k.a. new downstairs

neighbor Danny. INTRODUCES George Newbern (Bull) as Danny.

CRITIQUE Phoebe's fur dilemma is mildly diverting (squirrel

encounters notwithstanding), but the combo of Rachel and Danny

doesn't exactly generate sparks. Only the sight of Schwimmer's

hangdog puss when he realizes he's staring down divorce No. 2

(Emily decides she can't ever fully trust him) helps revive

things. C [1]

103 THE ONE WHERE ROSS MOVES IN--W Perry Rein/Gigi McCreery D

Halvorson PLOT After getting booted out of his sublet by Emily's

cousin, Ross bunks with Joey and Chandler. Phoebe dates Larry

the health inspector. Rachel and Danny continue their

flirtation. BEST LINE "We...Will...We...Will...Call You Back."

(The message--sung to the tune of "We Will Rock You"--that

goobery Ross immediately places on Chandler and Joey's answering

machine) CRITIQUE What, no Monica and Chandler shenanigans at

all? Sure, we realize the other folks need a full day in the sun

now and again, but Ross' nerdiness doesn't really satisfy the

humor jones the way M&C's randy behavior has. C

104 THE ONE WITH ALL THE THANKSGIVINGS--W Malins D Bright PLOT

It's flashback time again, as the gang recalls their worst

Thanksgivings. HISTORIC MOMENTS Turns out Fat Monica was

motivated to lose all the weight after she overheard Chandler

(whom she was crushing on) tell Ross: "I don't want to be stuck

here all night with your fat sister." Back in real time,

Chandler says "I love you" to Monica (she's wearing humongous

sunglasses and a turkey carcass on her head at the time, but

that's neither here nor there). BEST LINE "It's not so much an

underpant as it is a feat of engineering." (Joey, singing the

praises of the thong) NEW 'DO Chandler, Ross CRITIQUE In

addition to all the great sight gags (who could resist shots of

Rachel pre-nose job, and Chandler in a goatee), the ep is

chockful of juicy info: In addition to the Fat Monica

revelation, we learn that Ross' college girlfriend (and future

lesbian ex-wife Carol) was on both the lacrosse and golf teams

(says Ross, "Can you believe it, she plays for both teams!");

and that Chandler is missing the top of one of his toes thanks

to an errant knife wielded by a trying-to-be-seductive (but

hugely failing) Monica. B+ [3]

105 THE ONE WITH ROSS'S SANDWICH--W Reich/Cohen D Halvorson

PLOT Joey starts to crack under the pressure of knowing Monica

and Chandler's secret. Ross (a.k.a. "Mental Geller") experiences

office rage after someone at work steals his post-Thanksgiving

sandwich (complete with "the moistmaker"). Phoebe and Rachel

take a literature class. BEST LINE "He takes naked pictures of

us, and then he eats chicken, and then he looks at them."

(Rachel, who thinks that bucket-of-chicken-toting Joey is the

one who snapped the accidentally discovered nudie shot of

Monica) CRITIQUE Exploring Ross' dark side is always a hoot,

and getting a glimpse of M&C's kinkiness (they're also into

videotaping sex, doing it on the couch, etc.) is an unexpected

treat, but we certainly could have lived without Phoebe and

Rachel's paper-thin New School subplot. Still, two out of three

ain't bad. B+

106 THE ONE WITH THE INAPPROPRIATE SISTER--W Goldberg-Meehan D de

Vally Piazza PLOT Ross is put on a forced sabbatical. Phoebe gets

a job (complete with bell ringing) collecting Christmas

donations. Rachel and Danny (who's the one with the out-of-line

sibling) finally go out on a real date. CRITIQUE Watching Ross

browbeat Joey into writing a screenplay is irksome, especially

since it takes away from Joey and Chandler's far more interesting

game of "fireball" (tennis ball + lighter fluid = scorching good

fun). C

107 THE ONE WITH ALL THE RESOLUTIONS--W Teleplay by Suzie

Villandry; story by Brian Boyle D Joe Regalbuto PLOT Chandler

resolves not to make fun of the rest of the gang for a whole

week; Joey plans to learn guitar; Ross vows to do something he's

never done before every day of the New Year; Rachel swears off

gossiping; Monica promises to snap more photos of the sextet;

Phoebe wants to fly a jet. HISTORIC MOMENT Rachel finds out

about the intra-Friend romance when she overhears M&C planning a

dirty rendezvous. CRITIQUE Who knew Chandler's forced restraint

could be just as funny as his barb-zinging? Phoebe's attempt to

teach Joey how to strum also amuses. But, by far, the apex of

this episode comes via Ross' hilarious from-bad-to-worse

interaction with lotion, baby powder, and a pair of tight

leather pants. B+

108 THE ONE WITH CHANDLER'S WORK LAUGH--W Varinaitis D Bright

PLOT Ross is taking an anger-management class (though, judging

from the scone he crushes after hearing about Emily's plans to

marry someone else, he's not exactly acing the sucker). Chandler

takes Monica to an office party. Rachel tries to get Monica to

fess up about her relationship with Chandler. Joey and Phoebe go

see a movie in which Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan "get mail and

stuff." HISTORIC MOMENT A clearly despondent Ross hooks up with

(are you sitting down?) JANICE! CRITIQUE Monica's

win-at-all-costs approach to a tennis game with Chandler's boss

provides some major yuks, while the hook-up between Ross and

Janice (who eventually breaks up with him because--get

this--he's too whiny) provides some major yecchs! B+

109 THE ONE WITH JOEY'S BAG--W Teleplay by Kurland; story by Curtis

D Mancuso PLOT Rachel dresses Joey for an audition--introducing

him to the "man's bag" concept. Phoebe's grandma dies. HISTORIC

MOMENT Phoebe finally comes face to face with her long-lost

father. CREATIVE CASTING Bob Balaban (Seinfeld) as Frank Buffay

Sr. CRITIQUE Phoebe's granny dying is a downer surpassed only by

the soul-sucking lethargy of Balaban's Frank Sr. A grating

appearance by Ursula, and the whole annoying man's bag thing

rounds off a truly forgettable outing. C- [3] [4]

110 THE ONE WHERE EVERYBODY FINDS OUT--W Junge D Lembeck PLOT

The title pretty much says it all: Monica and Chandler's

relationship becomes public knowledge. HISTORIC MOMENTS We say

so long to Ugly Naked Guy, who's spotted packing up his

apartment, spurring homeless Ross to make a bid for his space.

Plus, we finally get to see the back of his head and naked

torso. CRITIQUE Although the group discovery (which, ironically,

is made from the vantage point of Ugly Naked Guy's apartment)

would have been riveting enough, the ensuing rondelet of

one-upmanship ("They don't know that we know they know we know")

between Monica and Chandler and Rachel and Phoebe (who screws

with Chandler's brain by trying to seduce him) is pure genius.

A- [1]

111 THE ONE WITH THE GIRL WHO HITS JOEY--W Chase D Bright PLOT Ross

gives the thumbs-up to the M&C combo. Joey's getting abused by

his playful-punch-happy new girlfriend, Katie. Ross alienates his

new buildingmates when he refuses to ante up $100 for a

handyman's retirement gift. HISTORIC MOMENT Chandler asks Monica

to marry him (but, calm down, he does it for all the wrong

reasons, so M makes him get up off his bended knee). CREATIVE

CASTING Soleil Moon Frye as Joey's aggressive squeeze Katie; and

Willie Garson (Stanford from Sex and the City) as one of Ross'

neighbors. BEST LINE "Can you imagine how hard she's going to hit

me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?" (Joey, before

breaking up with Katie) CRITIQUE The pummeling-chick shtick would

be completely yawn-inducing if it weren't for the sight gag of

seeing Joey wearing six sweaters for extra padding (is it just us

or does he look eerily like Fat Monica that way?). The pariah

Ross stuff, meanwhile, hits the spot as does Chandler's

misguided--but nonetheless gasp-inducing--proposal. B [4]

112 THE ONE WITH THE COP--W Teleplay by McCreery/Rein; story by

Varinaitis D Andrew Tsao PLOT Joey has a romantic dream about

Monica. Phoebe goes power mad after finding a policeman's badge.

HISTORIC MOMENT We discover that during their relationship,

Rachel and Ross did it 298 times (Ross kept count). INTRODUCES

Michael Rapaport (Bamboozled) as Gary, Phoebe's man-in-blue

fling. CRITIQUE In the oh-so successful slapstick department:

The scenes of Ross, Chandler, and Rachel trying to get Ross' new

couch into his apartment. We dare you not to laugh at Ross'

repeated commands of "Pivot!" B+

113 THE ONE WITH RACHEL'S INADVERTENT KISS--W Reich/Cohen D

Jensen PLOT Rachel interviews for a job at Ralph Lauren. Joey

has a flirtation with a gal who lives in Ross' apartment

building. Monica and Chandler's status as steamiest couple gets

threatened by the on-fire Phoebe and Gary (who even managed to

violate "section 12, paragraph 7 of the criminal code"). BEST

LINE "She lives in like some hot girl parallel universe or

something." (Mathematically challenged Joey, who can't locate

the exact apartment his flirtee lives in) CRITIQUE Aniston

bumbles through the Ralph Lauren hiring process beautifully.

Ross' window shenanigans (he mimes surfing and a shark attack)

provide backup guffaws, and it's all topped off by a sweet

speech from Chandler convincing nutso Monica that he's happier

at this stage of their relationship than ever. Aw, shucks. B+

114 THE ONE WHERE RACHEL SMOKES--W Curtis D Todd Holland PLOT

Phoebe and Monica are planning a surprise early birthday party

for Rachel, who takes up smoking to feel more in the loop with

her puff-happy new boss. Little Ben and Joey are up for parts in

the same commercial. CREATIVE CASTING Joanna Gleason (Bette) as

Rachel's supervisor. BEST LINE "You've got to push past this,

okay? Because it's about to get sooo good." (Ex-smoker Chandler,

trying to convince Rachel to keep on toking) CRITIQUE The fact

that an employee can feel pressured into smoking to stay

connected may be a wry social observation, but it's not exactly

the stuff that laughs are made of. Ditto the competitive vibe

between Joey and stage-dad Ross. C [4]

115 THE ONE WHERE ROSS CAN'T FLIRT--W Abrams D Mancuso PLOT What

little there is involves Joey inviting his Italian grandmother

over to watch his stint on Law & Order (too bad he got edited

out), Rachel and Phoebe losing one of the earrings Chandler

bought Monica, and Ross flirting (horrendously) with the pizza

delivery girl. HISTORIC MOMENT It's M&C's 10-month anniversary.

CREATIVE CASTING Kristin Dattilo (The Chris Isaak Show) as the

pizza girl. BEST LINE s Tie between "I happen to like 8-year-old

boys," and "You know that smell gas has?" (Two of Ross' pathetic

attempts at starting seductive conversation) CRITIQUE You know

that smell a really bad episode has? We all could have got along

just fine without ever meeting Joey's non-English-speaking

"Nonni" (who seems painfully corny and out of place). The

episode's main highlight is getting a peek at Chandler's

secretly videotaped rendition of "Space Oddity." C- [4]

116 THE ONE WITH THE RIDE-ALONG--W Goldberg-Meehan/Kurland D

Halvorson PLOT Joey, Ross, and Chandler do a tour of police duty

in Gary's patrol car; a gunshot-sounding car backfire prompts

Joey to throw his body on his sandwich (leading Chandler to think

he tried to save Ross and not him). Rachel hears (and

accidentally deletes) Emily's phone message for Ross, in which

she posits a reconciliation (don't worry, it never happens). BEST

LINE "I'd hate to have to save your life and kick your ass on the

same day." (Joey, to an annoyingly grateful Ross) CRITIQUE What

can you say about an episode whose most-fleshed-out plot revolves

around a grown man protecting a meatball hero? Oh, we know: You

can say, "Better luck next week." C-

117 THE ONE WITH THE BALL--W Teleplay by Malins; story by Silveri

D Halvorson PLOT Gary wants Phoebe to move in with him. Rachel

buys a $1,000 hairless "purebred, show-quality, Sphinx cat"

(dubbed Mrs. Wiskerton). Joey, Ross, Monica, and Chandler (a.k.a

"The Dropper") throw a ball back and forth for nearly 17 hours.

BEST LINE "A minion of the Antichrist." (Chandler's description

of Rachel's new pet) CRITIQUE The ball-throwing thing gives us a

chance to spend some good quality time with Competitive Monica,

while Gary's NYPD Blue-esque interrogation of a

reluctant-to-shack-up Phoebe tickles the rest of our ribs. B

118 THE ONE WITH JOEY'S BIG BREAK--W Teleplay by Calhoun; story by

Goldberg-Meehan D Halvorson PLOT Phoebe is mad at "fat ass" Ross

but doesn't really remember why (it turns out to be based on a

dream). And Joey, who nabbed a lead in a Vegas-based indie film

(which isn't paying him up front), gets super-duper mad at

Chandler for not believing this role will actually be the wannabe

star's big break. BEST LINE "Let's just say there's a

well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio." (Joey, who purposely ditched

Chandler's sweater vests after an aborted road trip to Vegas)

CRITIQUE The bad blood between Joey and Chandler (who wants to

say he's sorry with a basket of porn) adds a sweet tinge of

melancholy to the usual guffaws. In fact, when the Vegas film's

financing falls through and Joey plummets from leading man to

Trojan-costumed casino underling, the big lug's plight really

pulls at your heartstrings. B

119 THE ONE IN VEGAS PART 1--W Reich/Cohen D Bright PLOT To

celebrate their first anniversary, Monica buys Chandler tickets

to visit Joey in Vegas (the rest of the gang tags along).

Chandler discovers that Monica had lunch with Richard. BEST LINE

"Love your condoms, my man." (Chandler to Joey, who's still

working the Trojan gig) CRITIQUE Rachel and Ross hold up their

end of the episode by trying to out-embarrass each other on their

flight to Sin City. But, alas, Phoebe (who's still smarting from

being left behind on the London jaunt) and Joey (who's found--God

help us!--his "identical hand twin") have had better days. B

120 THE ONE IN VEGAS PART 2--W Malins/Silveri D Bright PLOT The

mustache and beard that Ross drew on Rachel's face during the

last ep's coda won't come off. Joey still has dreams of making

hand-twin millions. Monica and Chandler make up...boy, do they

ever. Slot-playing Phoebe has a set-to with a "lurker" (an old

woman who tries to score on the machines Phoebe leaves behind).

HISTORIC MOMENTS After being escorted out of the casino, Phoebe

is forced to break out the Filangie alias again. Oh yeah, and

Ross and Rachel get married. BEST LINE "I am a human doodle."

(Rachel, bemoaning her ink-stained mug) CRITIQUE Not even Joey's

continued hand-twin craziness can mar this most excellent

episode. The jaw-dropping surprise of watching Monica and

Chandler throw caution (and a hard eight) to the wind and decide

to get married that very evening would have been plenty, but

when a wasted Ross and Rachel exit the chapel instead--well,

don't even get us started. A-

[BOX]

[KEY]

[[1] Ugly Naked Guy Sighting]

[[2] Phoebe Song Alert]

[[3] Parental Pop-In]

[[4] Celeb Drop-In (Non-recurring)]

Illustration/Photos:

COLOR PHOTO: GLOBE PHOTOS

SHUT UP AND "KIPS" ME While M&C canoodle, Rachel tries to avoid

post-Ross ostracization

COLOR PHOTO: PHOTOFEST

YUCKY YUK Chandler faux guffaws for the boss (McMurray)

TWO COLOR PHOTOS: GLOBE PHOTOS

WINDOW AND OPPORTUNITY (1) The gang catches an eyeful; (2) Rachel

takes up a filthy habit to please her boss (Gleason)