Homer in the House!

Homer in the House!
-Everything you needed to know about Homer... and more

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1497029

Homers Quotes
Here you will find even more Homer Quotes that I have gathered from my different books and different internet sites that I found. Thanks to all the web sites I got these off of. Hope you dont mind. If you do, or you just want to make a suggestion or comment, please feel free to email me.
Enjoy!

Homer: I don't want anyone giving her a hard time just because she's DIFFERENT!...No jokes...No taunting...[Homer spots Uter]
Homer: AHH! HOO! HOO! Look, that kids got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? Heh Heh![Whip crack of towel]
Homer: Come're Butterball![Uter wails in torment]
Uter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!
Marge: Now Homer, don't you eat this pie...
Homer: O-kay

[Marge leaves]
Homer: Alright pie, I'm just gonna do this...
[Opens and closes his mouth in an eating fashion]
Homer: ...and if you get eaten, its your own fault!
[Heads towards pie, but collides into the kitchen cabinent]
Homer: Owwww! OWWWW! OWW...My...Ah, the hell with it!
[Ergo, pie is eaten]
Homer : "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers...
Announcer: 17
Homer: D'OH!
Announcer: 32
Homer: D'OH!
Announcer: 5
Homer: D'OH!
Announcer: 8
Homer: WOOHOO!
Announcer: 47
Home: D'OH!
Homer: You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know what to do! FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINATOWN!
Homer: Ahh, Beer! My one weakness...my Achilles Heel, if you will...
Homer : Call Mr. Plow,
that's my name,
that name again,
is Mr. Plow!
Homer: If anything goes wrong, blame the guy who doesn't speak Engish.
Homer: Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.
Homer: Can you believe it!? Pretty soon, I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy!
Homer: Quiet, I can't hear myself think.
Brain: I want some peanuts.
Homer: That's better.
Insurance Guy: O.K, now before I give you the check, I have just one more question. That place Moe's you were coming back from, that is a buisness of some sort...
Homer’s Brain: Don't say you were at a bar. BUT what else is open at night?
Homer: I was at a pornography store, I was buying pornography.
Homer Brain: Hehe, I would a never thought of that.
Homer: You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Homer: Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
(Homer watching “Good morning Burger”)
TV: First, we take a delicious bar of chocolate..
Homer: [In a trance] Chocolate..!!
TV: Then we wrap it in caramel..
Homer: Oooohh, sweeeet!
TV: And finally, we dip it in rich, creamy butter
Homer: AAarhrhghlll... [His head drops back, and he drools]
Later
Lisa: A subliminal idea can be planted in your mind without you even knowing it.
Homer: Lisa, that's a load of rich creamy butter.
Homer: Sir? Ah, hello sir! Yes! You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife, so...
[Sound of Homer recieving a massive smack]
Homer writing the perfect break up letter
Homer: Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you...
P.S. I'm Gay
Homer: If something is too hard, give it up. The moral my boy is to never try anything
Homer: A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?
The Dean asks Homer to leave the his office very nicely then..
Homer: (on way out of office) That dirty dean!! I'll get him
[Homer leaves and Dean's phone rings]
Dean: Hello
Homer: [In ridiculous but hilarious voice] Hello Dean, you are a stupid head
Dean : Is that you Homer?
[Dean then sees Homer at the pay phone, Homer shrieks and runs away]
Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
[Homer and Marge are talking about how Maggie was born.]
Bart: Wow, Dad! You had a breakdown like a little sissy girl?
Marge: Actually, it isn't the first time this happened.
[Flashback, with Marge & Homer]
Homer: You're Pregnant?! Aaaaaauuuggghhhh!
[Tears out hair a bit and runs upstairs]
[Second Flashback, with Bart and the two]
Homer : "You're pregnant AGAIN?!?! Aaaaaaaaauuuugggghhhh!"
[Tears out hair until it looks like it does now, and runs upstairs]
Homer and Marge discuss about Grampa having a crush on Grandma Bouvier.
Marge: Homer, what do you think about this?
Homer: I'm damn opposed with the whole thing.
Bart: He's damn opposed. DAMN DAMN DAMN opposed!
Marge: Bart! Homer- why would you be opposed with love?
Homer: Marge- THINK! If my dad and your mom get married, we'll be brother and sister! Think what will the children will be like! The'll be freaks! They'll have flesh-colored skin, diffrent colored hair and five fingers on each hand!
[Homer fantasizes the kids as what he just described]
Homer: Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
[Homer meets flanders for the first time...]
Flander: Hedelyho there, My name is Ned Flanders ... but my friends call me Ned.
Homer: Hiya Flanders.
[Homer walks away ...]
[Homer looking at globe, spots Uruguay]
Homer : "Ha ha! Look at this country! 'You are gay'! Ha ha!"
Homer: [In a silly voice] "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Worker: Alright Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?
Homer: [In silly voice] I don't know.
The episode where Marge has forced Homer and the rest of the family to go vegetarian...
Homer: Ohh.. How come the dog gets to eat meat?
Marge: Homer, that dog food's mostly made out of snouts and entrails.
Homer; [drooling] Mmmmmm... snouts.
This is from the episode where Bart gives blood to Mr. Burns. Homer is trying to convince Bart to go through with the blood donation.
Homer: Bart, have I ever told you the story of Hercules and the Lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Probably. Anyway, once upon a time there was a big mean lion, and he got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but none of them were strong enough. So they got Hercules, and he used his mighty strength and BOOM! Anyway, the lion was so grateful to Hercules that he gave him a big...thing of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days! Anyway...
Homer : Moe, my friend has this problem with another woman and he needs some advice.
Moe: What's his name Homer?
Homer: Uh... it's Billy Bo-Bob Jimmy Jo-Jo Jr.
Moe: Homer, that's the stupidest name I ever heard.
[Man runs out of the bar crying]
[Homer is Sleeping in His Bed]
Lisa: [Off Screen] Dad! [Comes Running on screen] I had a Bad Dream!
Homer: [In A Comforting Voice] Oh, Lisa. You just lay down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: I know this seems absurd, but I was dreaming that the boogieman was chasing me and...
Homer: AHHH! Boogieman!

[Runs to Bart's Room, and goes close to Bart]
Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but we may have an ordeal involving a Boogieman or BoogieMEN in the house!
Bart: Aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugggggghhhh!!!
When Homer's building the car for his half brother.
Homer: What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them!
[Marge's aunt has died and they are going to funeral]
Selma: Its the death of a legend.
Homer's Brain: Yeah! The Legend of the dog-faced woman!
Homer: [Out loud] Ha Ha! The Legend of the dog-faced woman!
[The Car Falls into shocked silence]
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Stupid Brain.
Marge: Homer I want to talk to you about this credit card bill...
Homer: [Falls to floor screaming and crying] I admit it! The record club! The first eight were only a penny...then they jacked up the price!...
[Homer is returning home from work...]
Homer : [Singing cheerfully] When the working day is done..girls just wanna have fun!
Homer: Marge, you gotta come to Cuba! They have sliced pork everywhere! (munch, munch)
Little Cuban: Es carne de burro!
Homer: Nice to meet you too!

Legal Notice: "The Simpsons" TM are copyright of Fox and its related companies. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication, or distribution in any form is expressly prohibited. Disclaimer: This web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "The Simpsons" are not authorized by Fox. This website is maintained by Allen Rodriguez.


	Homer in the House! -Everything you needed to know about Homer... and more

	Places On This Site Multimedia Pictures Sounds Movies Support Links Guestbook View My Guestbook Sign My Guestbook Other Quotes Lists Awards 1497029		Homers Quotes Here you will find even more Homer Quotes that I have gathered from my different books and different internet sites that I found. Thanks to all the web sites I got these off of. Hope you dont mind. If you do, or you just want to make a suggestion or comment, please feel free to email me. Enjoy! Homer: I don't want anyone giving her a hard time just because she's DIFFERENT!...No jokes...No taunting...[Homer spots Uter] Homer: AHH! HOO! HOO! Look, that kids got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? Heh Heh![Whip crack of towel] Homer: Come're Butterball![Uter wails in torment] Uter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate! Marge: Now Homer, don't you eat this pie... Homer: O-kay [Marge leaves] Homer: Alright pie, I'm just gonna do this... [Opens and closes his mouth in an eating fashion] Homer: ...and if you get eaten, its your own fault! [Heads towards pie, but collides into the kitchen cabinent] Homer: Owwww! OWWWW! OWW...My...Ah, the hell with it! [Ergo, pie is eaten] Homer : "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers... Announcer: 17 Homer: D'OH! Announcer: 32 Homer: D'OH! Announcer: 5 Homer: D'OH! Announcer: 8 Homer: WOOHOO! Announcer: 47 Home: D'OH! Homer: You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know what to do! FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINATOWN! Homer: Ahh, Beer! My one weakness...my Achilles Heel, if you will... Homer : Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again, is Mr. Plow! Homer: If anything goes wrong, blame the guy who doesn't speak Engish. Homer: Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. Homer: Can you believe it!? Pretty soon, I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy! Homer: Quiet, I can't hear myself think. Brain: I want some peanuts. Homer: That's better. Insurance Guy: O.K, now before I give you the check, I have just one more question. That place Moe's you were coming back from, that is a buisness of some sort... Homer’s Brain: Don't say you were at a bar. BUT what else is open at night? Homer: I was at a pornography store, I was buying pornography. Homer Brain: Hehe, I would a never thought of that. Homer: You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? Homer: Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. (Homer watching “Good morning Burger”) TV: First, we take a delicious bar of chocolate.. Homer: [In a trance] Chocolate..!! TV: Then we wrap it in caramel.. Homer: Oooohh, sweeeet! TV: And finally, we dip it in rich, creamy butter Homer: AAarhrhghlll... [His head drops back, and he drools] Later Lisa: A subliminal idea can be planted in your mind without you even knowing it. Homer: Lisa, that's a load of rich creamy butter. Homer: Sir? Ah, hello sir! Yes! You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife, so... [Sound of Homer recieving a massive smack] Homer writing the perfect break up letter Homer: Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you... P.S. I'm Gay Homer: If something is too hard, give it up. The moral my boy is to never try anything Homer: A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo? The Dean asks Homer to leave the his office very nicely then.. Homer: (on way out of office) That dirty dean!! I'll get him [Homer leaves and Dean's phone rings] Dean: Hello Homer: [In ridiculous but hilarious voice] Hello Dean, you are a stupid head Dean : Is that you Homer? [Dean then sees Homer at the pay phone, Homer shrieks and runs away] Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers. [Homer and Marge are talking about how Maggie was born.] Bart: Wow, Dad! You had a breakdown like a little sissy girl? Marge: Actually, it isn't the first time this happened. [Flashback, with Marge & Homer] Homer: You're Pregnant?! Aaaaaauuuggghhhh! [Tears out hair a bit and runs upstairs] [Second Flashback, with Bart and the two] Homer : "You're pregnant AGAIN?!?! Aaaaaaaaauuuugggghhhh!" [Tears out hair until it looks like it does now, and runs upstairs] Homer and Marge discuss about Grampa having a crush on Grandma Bouvier. Marge: Homer, what do you think about this? Homer: I'm damn opposed with the whole thing. Bart: He's damn opposed. DAMN DAMN DAMN opposed! Marge: Bart! Homer- why would you be opposed with love? Homer: Marge- THINK! If my dad and your mom get married, we'll be brother and sister! Think what will the children will be like! The'll be freaks! They'll have flesh-colored skin, diffrent colored hair and five fingers on each hand! [Homer fantasizes the kids as what he just described] Homer: Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh!!!!! [Homer meets flanders for the first time...] Flander: Hedelyho there, My name is Ned Flanders ... but my friends call me Ned. Homer: Hiya Flanders. [Homer walks away ...] [Homer looking at globe, spots Uruguay] Homer : "Ha ha! Look at this country! 'You are gay'! Ha ha!" Homer: [In a silly voice] "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me. Postal Worker: Alright Mr. Burns, what’s your first name? Homer: [In silly voice] I don't know. The episode where Marge has forced Homer and the rest of the family to go vegetarian... Homer: Ohh.. How come the dog gets to eat meat? Marge: Homer, that dog food's mostly made out of snouts and entrails. Homer; [drooling] Mmmmmm... snouts. This is from the episode where Bart gives blood to Mr. Burns. Homer is trying to convince Bart to go through with the blood donation. Homer: Bart, have I ever told you the story of Hercules and the Lion? Bart: Is it a Bible story? Homer: Probably. Anyway, once upon a time there was a big mean lion, and he got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but none of them were strong enough. So they got Hercules, and he used his mighty strength and BOOM! Anyway, the lion was so grateful to Hercules that he gave him a big...thing of riches. Bart: How did a lion get rich? Homer: It was the olden days! Anyway... Homer : Moe, my friend has this problem with another woman and he needs some advice. Moe: What's his name Homer? Homer: Uh... it's Billy Bo-Bob Jimmy Jo-Jo Jr. Moe: Homer, that's the stupidest name I ever heard. [Man runs out of the bar crying] [Homer is Sleeping in His Bed] Lisa: [Off Screen] Dad! [Comes Running on screen] I had a Bad Dream! Homer: [In A Comforting Voice] Oh, Lisa. You just lay down and tell me all about it. Lisa: I know this seems absurd, but I was dreaming that the boogieman was chasing me and... Homer: AHHH! Boogieman! [Runs to Bart's Room, and goes close to Bart] Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but we may have an ordeal involving a Boogieman or BoogieMEN in the house! Bart: Aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugggggghhhh!!! When Homer's building the car for his half brother. Homer: What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them! [Marge's aunt has died and they are going to funeral] Selma: Its the death of a legend. Homer's Brain: Yeah! The Legend of the dog-faced woman! Homer: [Out loud] Ha Ha! The Legend of the dog-faced woman! [The Car Falls into shocked silence] Marge: Homer! Homer: Stupid Brain. Marge: Homer I want to talk to you about this credit card bill... Homer: [Falls to floor screaming and crying] I admit it! The record club! The first eight were only a penny...then they jacked up the price!... [Homer is returning home from work...] Homer : [Singing cheerfully] When the working day is done..girls just wanna have fun! Homer: Marge, you gotta come to Cuba! They have sliced pork everywhere! (munch, munch) Little Cuban: Es carne de burro! Homer: Nice to meet you too!

	`Legal Notice: "The Simpsons" TM are copyright of Fox and its related companies. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication, or distribution in any form is expressly prohibited. Disclaimer: This web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "The Simpsons" are not authorized by Fox. This website is maintained by Allen Rodriguez.`