"You really want the answer, then you've got it. The only
reason you're even alive today is because my uncle died in your place.
Aren't you glad you asked?"
Luke stood there in complete shock. What was this kid talking about? What did Stefan's recent death have to do with Luke being alive? Then he felt his heart beating faster. Is it my heart? Is that what Stefan's death gave me? Luke wanted answers immediately, but he couldn't get any words out of his mouth. Instead, he let go of Nikolas and collapsed to the ground.
Nikolas took advantage of Luke's current state of shock and started to run away. Before he completely left the vicinity, he turned back to see Luke still on the ground. 'I sure have a way of destroying Spencers lives,' he thought, before he turned around and continued to run.
After a few minutes on the ground, Luke got up and headed for his car. He only knew of one place to go now, and he headed for there. All he wanted was one place where he wouldn't feel ambushed.
Laura got up, took a shower, and got dressed before heading downstairs. She looked at the clock and knew that Luke and Lucky should have been home by now. 'Did I make a mistake by sending Luke alone to get him?' Laura thought. She really wanted to give them a chance to work through their problems, but it seemed to backfire again. All she wanted was her family back to what it was before she had left Port Charles. She wanted to wake up every morning, knowing her husband was right beside her, still asleep. She wanted to hear Lucky playing with Lulu, complaining because Lulu had made him play dress-up or tea party. She wanted to make breakfast for her family, hearing them complain about how there were so many things to do today and not enough time to do them. But all of that was gone now and she didn't know what she could do to fix it.
Laura walked into the kitchen and noticed that her mother had taken the liberty of making breakfast. She was grateful to have her mother with her during all of this. Lesley always seemed to have a special insight to everything. It was annoying how right she was so often, but this was one of the times she was happy about having her around for motherly advice.
"Where's the guys?" Lesley asked, when she noticed Laura come in.
"Luke went to pick up Lucky at Audrey's house. It seems that my son decided he'd rather spend the night out on the streets with Elizabeth Webber rather than come home. They should have been back by now. I guess I underestimated Lucky's hatred for Luke right now."
Lesley went over to give Laura a hug. Her daughter was going through so much strain lately, trying to keep her family in one piece. "Lucky doesn't hate Luke. He's just angry, but he doesn't hate him. I've eavesdropped a few times on Lucky and overheard him telling Luke how much he loved him when Luke was out of earshot."
"I didn't think one dark time in my whole life could change everything as quickly as this one has. It should have been over and buried, never to be resurrected. It didn't need to be resurrected. Luke and I got past it. We moved on and created this family together."
"Obviously Luke never did get past it completely. He might have wanted to, but he didn't. He probably kept it bottled up for this long because of his love for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Laura, you were able to get past it, and Luke loves you so much that he was willing to live with the pain by himself of what had happened almost 20 years ago."
Laura couldn't believe what she was hearing. She and Luke didn't just drop the rape like it was a bad one night stand. They spent close to an entire year getting past it, together. He allowed Laura to be angry with him for what he had done. He even tried to convince her to name him, but she wouldn't. And he seemed to accept Laura's word that he didn't mean for it to happen. During all those conversations, he had completely opened up to her, and that was what she needed to get past the rape. She thought that was what he needed to get past it also. "Mother, are you saying that I was able to get past it and Luke wasn't? That he accepted my love even though he's been haunted by this every day of his life?"
"Honey, I'm not trying to say that he lets the rape control his way of thinking. I'm not saying that everything he's done for you over the years was to make up for that one night. I'm just saying that it's obvious that he's never completely gotten past it either."
"Why didn't he confide in me about it? Why did he let me believe that it was in the past and that our lives together was completely separate from the rape? Why didn't he let me help him through the pain liked he helped me? Why didn't he trust I could do that for him?"
"Why put you through more pain? He knew if he confided in you, he would be forcing you to relive an event that you had gotten past. You should know your husband well enough to know it wasn't a matter of trust. All he's ever wanted to do is protect you from pain and harm, even if it meant sacrificing himself in the process."
Laura nodded knowing her mother was telling the truth. "Can you keep an eye on Lulu while I go to the club?"
"You think Luke will be there?"
"Where else would he go right now? If Lucky had run off as soon as Luke got to Audrey's, then that is where my husband would go. He wouldn't come back home empty handed, and I know Lucky well enough to know that he'll be home as soon as he calms down. He has a sister and a grandmother whom he doesn't want to worry too much."
"And a mother... and a father despite the problems."
Laura hugged her mother one last time before heading out the door. She knew that in order for Lucky and Luke to get past their problems, Luke would have to get past the ones he had with himself.
Luke walked into the club and found it empty for a change. He forgot that he gave everyone a late day today because inventory was tomorrow and they'd have to be up early for that. He was grateful for the peace. He headed for his office and took a seat, staring at the pictures of his family. Just then, Laura entered the room, closed the door and sat down. "There's something we need to talk about now, if you're willing."
"What is it?"
"Are you finally willing to completely forgive yourself for the rape if it will help get your family back?"
