jeu d’esprit
chapter eight:

"Althea was just a drunk, that's all," Skye deflected as Rae helped her up and over to her bed.

"I know that she had a drinking problem but there is more."

"What do you think know?" Skye asked a little agitated.

"I know what Althea told me, and I know something is bothering you and it has to do with her," Rae sat beside Skye.

"Look, Rae, I -- I love my Mom. I can't seem to stop -- even now, I still love her. It's like they've got this hold on me even through death. They just wont let go. I see everything in my dreams, more like nightmares, over and over again."

"What do you mean 'they'?" Rae squinted her eyes puzzled.

"My -- " Skye paused reconsidering her choice of words, "Althea took it real hard when my father left us. She would stay in bed for days at a time and was never happy, with me at least. She would scream and yell and I just wanted to die. I would pray so hard for God to send angels to take me to heaven away from everything. I wanted so much to please her. She was my mother I wanted everything to be okay I wanted her to love me. So then she got a boyfriend. She would laugh and sing and dance and I was happy 'cause I thought she was happy but then after he moved in things changed."

" 'Changed', what do you mean by that?"

"He drank more and yelled more and hit more."

"Did he hit you?"

Silence followed Rae's question as Skye sighed heavily, "Sometimes. He would beat her until she was black, blue and red. She couldn't move for days sometimes. She'd just lay there and take it from him and that -- God help me -- I hated her for that. She made me sick, she was so pathetic and I couldn't do anything -- she wouldn't let me. Like a rag doll, that's the way he treated her, he --, " Skye's voice grew silent.

"He what?" Rae's voice seemed to plead Skye to finish, "what happened?"

"I can't tell you -- you'll hate me. I know you will. I hate myself," Skye's eyes seemed dulled by sadness

"I could never hate you -- never," Rae took Skye's chin and lifted it so she could look Skye in the eyes, "do you understand?"

"One day, I was out backyard playing and he came out and he was screaming at me 'cause I didn't do something right -- I don't remember exactly what, he was always screaming about something. But he was real mad," Skye's voice began to tremble at the thought, tears threatening to fall, "He took my wrist and started shaking me, he told me that he was going to kill me. He told me before a million times he'd kill me but this time he had a hammer and he -- he started to swing. The only thing I could do was huddle on the ground crying like a sissy, like Althea, taking it -- my arms were numb and felt like they were boulders, I could barely keep them over my head." Skye pulled her knees to her chin, rocking back and forth, trying to hide her tears. "I hated myself for that, for being so weak. The next thing I knew he was on the ground next to me, bleeding from the head and my Dad was standing over me and I knew everything would be okay."

"God -- " Rae sighed, "what did Adam do?"

"He killed him, Mom, he killed him because of me. That's why he's dead, I killed him and Althea never forgave me for that," Rae took Skye in her arms as if to hug away the bad memories, "I know I never forgave myself."

"Lets get something straight, okay?" Rae looked directly at Skye's face, "This is not your fault."

"Yeah," Skye whispered skeptically under her breath.

"That's why she tried to kill herself. What happened after that, why wasn't any of this in your file?"

"Nobody knows about any of this -- except you and Adam and me. I didn't even go to the hospital my dad literally built one in our house. You're not even supposed to know, no one is."

"W-what happened to the body," Rae flustered, "how can you be sure he's dead?"

"My dad took care of all that, that's what he told me. I don't really remember much I know I went to live with my dad after that, Althea wouldn't talk to me, then she was committed."

"Oh, Skye, you were right I had no idea, but now -- now I know who's at fault and they will pay," Rae stood up and headed down stairs as Skye followed close behind, tears streaming down her face, begging Rae not to tell anyone.

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thanks for reading!
xLauren