A MOMENT IN TIME: PROMISE
PROMISE
PART I
Walking along the docks she automatically put one foot in front of the other. The impact of every step vibrated throughout her body in combination with the rhythmic sound of her shoes pounding the pier. It was all she felt or wanted to feel. On and on she walked, not noticing the people rushing around her, many looking at her quizzically, just one foot in front of the other, it was automatic it was basic it was done without thought. She walked straight-ahead looking neither left or right she just walked. The rain that started as a drizzle and steadily turned into a downpour went unnoticed. Nothing made an impact, not the coolness of the air or the saturated clothes that clung to her skin; a result of the cold hard driving rain that she walked in. Her hair pulled up in a ponytail, was heavily soaked with water, as rivets ran down the back of her neck to mix with the millions of other drops that attached to her skin yet, she felt nothing.
Nothing, there was no feeling, no emotion. She breathed because her body did it automatically. She ate because food was put in front of her and she knew what was expected and what she had to do. She slept when her body would not stay awake any longer. She bathed and dressed because it was expected of her. It was automatic it meant nothing to her. She didn't dream, she didn't plan, she barely spoke, and she just existed. They talked, she listened, they questioned, and she responded, she laughed on cue and she smiled when she could, still her emotions were frozen. Her mother Florence and her brother Marcus watched her carefully, expecting, anticipating. "Would this be the day" she could see the question in their gaze. Wondering if the light would come back to her eyes, she was going through the motions, pretending to live and they knew, but they both participated in the charade.
`Someday', everyone said, `the pain would go away'. What pain? She didn't feel anything; it has been two weeks of nothing. His friends and partner had all come around. She could see the pity in their eyes and the sadness. They all recognized denial when they saw it. Yeah, denial for if she allowed herself to feel she would have to accept that he was gone and with that acceptance came the betrayal of a broken promise for before now he had always kept his promises.
They came today; his family and they wanted to plan a memorial service. How? Why? It has only been two weeks and there was no body. For Gia he was missing, yes, missing for to believe anything else would mean he was gone and that she could not accept. They wanted to include her and asked for her input because she had loved him and that they understood. They felt she brought stability to his life because he was around more and would actually visit. He would smile, laugh and even make jokes. They loved him and because her presence gave them greater access to him, they accepted her. For Gia each day was just like the other, she awoke, she existed she ate and she slept. When they told her he had died so did her emotions. It was almost funny, she'd always believed that they were connected, that neither could survive without the other that she would know if something happened to him just as he would know if something happened to her. She remembered their last night together. She trusted her instincts, she loved him and most of all she trusted him to keep his promises.
FLASHBACK
They lay spooned in bed together chest to back; she could feel his body heat alone the entire length of her body. She was laying snuggly against him as he caressingly rubbed his left hand up and down her arm and side until he stopped to intertwine their fingers.
"You've been very quiet all evening. Are you ready to tell me what's bothering you?" he kissed her shoulder and slowly peppered kisses along the side of her face.
"I'm okay." she sighed bringing their clasped hands to her mouth to press a kiss.
"Don't do that. I know something is wrong." He released her hand and reached up and turned her face toward him and looked her in straight in the eyes. "Tell me".
She looked at him and closed her eyes took a deep breath to gather her courage and said it "I don't want you to go". She saw a slight look of disappointment come into his eyes. She rolled out of his arms left the bed and reached for the tee shirt he had discarded earlier, put it on and exited the room without saying another word and before he could say anything.
He was right on her heels as she walked out, stopping only to slip on a pair of sweat pants that were laying on the floor by the bed. They met up in the living room. He noticed that she sat in the chair instead of on the couch or the love seat as if to keep him from getting close. Not being distracted or deterred he walked to the chair and stood over her looking down.
"What's going on Gia?" not responding, she turned her head toward the wall and stared. Determined to get an answer he leaned over and caged her in the chair with his arms and waited until she turned her head and looked at him. Getting her attention he held her gaze with his. "Baby, I need you to tell me what you're thinking, I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's going on."
Gia looked in the questioning eyes of the man she loved, and her control started to crumble and her eyes teared up. Needing to get away she placed her palm in the middle of his chest and pushed as she got up from the chair. As she knew he would, he moved not stopping her from walking away. Walking over to the other side of the room to put some distance between them and to get back her perspective she stopped and turned to looked at him. He hadn't moved he was still standing in front of the chair she had vacated looking at her intently, just waiting.
"I'm scared, Ok. This just doesn't feel right. And no this is not about me wanting you to be safe, that's a given. But this … this feels different, I can't explain it; I just don't want you to go." There she said it, now she had to deal with the consequences.
"Don't do this to me, please, Gia don't. DON'T!"
"I'm not trying to guilt you into being someone you are NOT! I LOVE YOU! We share a bed, I know who you are and I accept you for who you are. And you know that, OK." Tears were starting to slowly seep from her eyes. "But something doesn't feel right and every time I think about you leaving tomorrow I…., I can't breath and my heart feels like it is going to stop. I'm afraid like I have never been before" and she finished on a whisper "I don't think you're coming back".
He walked over and wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tightly. Whispering softly to her he tried to sooth her worries. "It's OK, you know I'm careful in what I do. I'm not going to do anything that going to keep me from coming back to you".
"You're kidding right? Don't patronize me, I'm not stupid" her tears were now turning into anger. "I know what you do, no excuse me;I think I know what you do. And before you say it `I know you don't discuss your business'". She pushed away from him and started to back away. He followed her step for step until she ended up against the wall and he caged her in again with his arms.
"I don't know why you feel the way that you do, but I'm not going to fight with you. I want you to trust me. I'm in this for the long haul." She turned her face away from him as he spoke. "Look at me, look at me", he repeated himself until she turned to look him in the eyes. "I love you, you know that right? And I'm coming back, I promise".
She went to turn her head away again saying "You can't make those kind of promises" but he gently turned her face back to his. "I can and I am. I promise you I will return, now do you believe me? Tell me you believe me." She nodded her head yes. "Let me hear you say it"
"I believe you".
"Again."
"I believe you, all right!"
"Good, now make this up to me before I go" he said pulling off the tee shirt she wore, and pinning her to the wall as he captured her mouth.
END FLASHBACK
Before she had always sensed when something wasn't right and he would always find a way to reassure her; it was like they were connected. What a joke, he was gone and she hadn't even known. As before she had sensed something was wrong and she was confident that he would find some way to send her reassurance after all he had promised, right? What was sent was news of his death. But she had refused to believe; she would feel it she would have known, God she had not wanted to believe. But they said he was dead, and then they said it again, he was dead. And now they wanted to plan a memorial service.
She walked and she walked and she walked as the rain poured down steadily. She didn't realize that she was being followed as she walked. She was always followed, guarded and protected for he wouldn't have it any other way. Yet he couldn't protect her from this numbness and lack of emotion her current state of denial. As her shadows followed at a discreet distance one of her guards dashed under a storefront awning and pulled out his cell phone. This was a call that needed to happen. He made his report and took his orders. He mentally questioned the order given, but he would do as he was told. Quickly he caught up with his partner whom had kept pace with their charge and relayed their new assignment.
The two men came up behind her but she paid them no more attention than she did anyone else, she just continued on. Someone said her name causing her to break the stride of her steps. "Why are they bothering me?" she briefly wondered and then decided to ignore the interruption and continue on her way.
Again she heard "Ms Campbell" and also noticed a car stop a few feet ahead of where she was standing. She looked at the two men behind her and then at the man getting out of the car. Gia recognized them but she didn't want to hear anything they had to say or want anything from them; she just wanted to be left along.
Gia turned to leave, the one closes to her asked if she would come with him she started to say no when something stopped her. "Why not?" she thought. She knew they were safe, they had watched over her before. She wasn't supposed to know about the guards but she'd known and been pleased and amused. He had needed to know that she was safe so she hadn't said anything because she loved him and if having her shadowed eased his mind she could and had tolerated it.
As she got in the back seat they offered her some hand towels that were stored in the car to dry off with. Vaguely, she was aware that because she was wet, she was probably ruining the leather of the seat but frankly she didn't really care. She used some towels to wipe off her face and tried to ring some of the water out of her hair. This was out of courtesy because the wetness had no bearing on her comfort. She felt the guard sitting across from her looking at her curiously, yet she only stared out the window blankly watching the passing scenery, as they got under way.
Gia probably should have asked where she was going or why they wanted to take her someplace. Maybe they were taking her back to her mother's or maybe they were taking her back to the apartment they had shared together. She wanted to tell them to just stop the car and let her out but it would take to much effort.
Later she guessed they drove for over an hour for strangely enough she actually dozed off during the ride. It was only after arriving at their destination that she realized the amount of time that had passed. After turning onto the access road, the drive up to the house was about a mile and trees lined the roadway. They arrived at a small house outside of the Port Charles city limit. It wasn't much to look at, just a single story house.
The car stopped directly in front of the entrance to the house. The back door was opened and Timothy got out. "Timothy", she thought, that's his name. He asked her to follow him and like a puppet she did. They walked through the front door and down the hall toward the back of the house she saw a door at the end of the hall. She didn't consciously register that they passed an open area that was obviously a living room before he directed her down another hallway. She just followed him to the last door, steadily walking putting one foot in front of the other automatically. Timothy stopped when they reached the end of the hall looked at her and then knocked on the door. She thought someone responded but the words didn't penetrate the block of ice that her every emotion was encased in.
He opened the door, stepped back and indicated that she should go in. Gia walked through the door not looking and not focusing; she took about three steps into the room when the door shut behind her, she turned her intent to leave. What was she doing here and why was she here? That's when she saw him, braced against the wall by the door. He had obviously been behind the door when she came in.
She stood there for a moment and still it didn't register. Gia closed her eyes thinking after two weeks she was finally starting to dream again for surely she must still be asleep. Her eyes opened and she looked and still there he stood, unmoving immobile as if he was carved in stone. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead was only able to take in a gasping breath. A breath like she had never taken before. The air seared her throat as it raced to her lungs. Heat generated from her head to her toes; heat that caused her numb fingers to tingle and her lips to tremble; heat that triggered her senses and made her aware of the coldness of her body and the fact that her jeans and shirt were soaked. Finally she exhaled, and out came the first word she remembered speaking in two days; she had talked and responded to questions but she didn't remember what she may have said. This was the first word she had spoken that registered in her memory, his name "Jason".