14

// I’ve always been in love with you
Always with you
I guess you’ve always known it’s true
You know it’s true \\

Four days after he arrived in Los Angeles, Liam returned to Sunnydale. The trip to spend Christmas with his father and stepmother had been rather uneventful, though proved to be enlightening at the same time. He used the time away to sort through his feelings for Buffy, and what to do about them. By the time he left, Liam decided the best course of action was to ignore them in hopes that they’d go away. Buffy was with Riley and he needed go move on, giving Cordelia a fair chance.

He and his father pulled into the Rosenberg’s driveway at four o’clock in the afternoon two days after Christmas. "Home sweet home," Liam muttered.

"Are you okay?" Mr. O’Neal asked, having heard his son’s comment.

"Fine."

"You know, it’s okay if you want to stay with me and Amelia for a couple more days. And you can move back to L.A. anytime you want. Just say the word and I’ll be back to pick you up in a heartbeat; we’d love to have you back."

Liam smiled at the promises his father made. "I appreciate it, really I do. But you’ve got a lot on your plate, what with the new baby coming. Don’t worry about me. I guess being back made me a little homesick."

"I don’t doubt it. Especially after seeing Paige’s family. No wonder you were so quiet last night and this morning. What did they give you?"

"Give me?"

"I saw you come home with a bag of stuff. What was in it?"

He shrugged. "I’m not exactly sure what it was; just some things of Paige’s they wanted to give me. Truthfully, I have not found the courage to open it yet. Maybe a part of me is afraid of what I’ll find."

"You won’t know until you open it," his father stated.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Liam responded sarcastically. "I’ll take a look tonight when I’m alone. I can’t do it right now."

***

// You took my love for granted
Why, oh why?
The show is over, say goodbye
Say goodbye, say goodbye \\

"We all missed you while you were gone, Liam," Willow told her older brother following dinner that evening. The two of them sat in his bedroom talking about their respective holidays.

"I’m sure everyone got along fine without me around."

"Yeah, we did. But it wasn’t the same. Well, it was but it wasn’t, you know? Does that even make sense?" she asked him.

He laughed, nodding his head. "Believe it or not, it does. Did you and Oz do anything fun?"

"We watched It’s A Wonderful Life and I cried. As usual. That movie is so sad; when George gets the book with the inscription that says ‘No man is a failure who has friends’…"

Looking at his sister, he could see her begin to tear up. He rolled his eyes at her oversensitivity. "I’ve seen it, Wills. Besides, you always cry like a baby at the end of it. That’s nothing new and exciting."

"I can’t help it."

"So I gathered. Did the gang do anything interesting while I was gone?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Like I already told you, Oz and I watched a movie. Xander had his annual Christmas camp out, which you and I were invited to, by the way." Willow stopped to think for a moment, trying to remember what else happened that might be of interest to him. "Oh, oh! Buffy and Riley got into a fight."

"They did? Over what?" Liam wanted to know.

"I don’t know exactly. She just kinda snapped on him the day you left. We were all at the Expresso Pump and Buffy was really quiet. Riley asked her if something was wrong and she practically bit his head off. I felt so bad for him."

"Maybe Buffy has some things on her mind," he suggested.

"Could be. I tried calling her all day on Christmas but she didn’t pick up the phone. She and her parents were probably out. Same thing yesterday and today; I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s avoiding everyone," Willow surmised. "I’m her best friend, I wish she’d talk to me and tell me what’s going on."

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t tell her where Buffy had been on Christmas Day; she made him promise not to tell anyone. But he knew she’d been at the hospital for her mother’s surgery. "Just give her some time to get through whatever she’s going through."

"I’m going to. Riley was really hurt, though."

‘Can’t say I’m really sorry about that,’ he thought. "He’ll get over it."

"Well, enough about Sunnydale. How was Christmas in L.A.?"

"Warm, just like every other year. Amelia cranked up the air conditioning and Dad built a roaring fire. Other than that, it was typical. Except for the announcement that she’s pregnant."

Willow raised her eyebrows. "Wow. Amelia is having a baby? That’s great! That *is* great, isn’t it?"

"I suppose. I’m happy for them. I’ll get to be a big brother again."

"Yea! Or not yea?"

"I’m cool with it, Will. The idea of it took a little getting used to."

She nodded, getting off the bed and heading for the door. "Good to know." The redhead picked up a bag from the floor and handed it to her brother. "What’s in here?"

"It’s from Mr. and Mrs. Burkhardt. They were going through Paige’s things and wanted me to have some of her belongings. I haven’t felt much like opening it yet," he admitted. "It’s still really hard for me."

"It might be therapeutic if you did."

"You’re probably right."

"And, if you need someone to talk to after you open it, you know, in case it brings back too many painful memories, I’ll be right down the hall," Willow said.

"Thanks."

Once his sister left the room, Liam slowly opened the bag. He’d been dreading it; it meant he’d have to finally accept that Paige wasn’t coming back. She’d been his best friend for close to three years, it was hard to let go of that.

Inside, he found a framed picture of them, taken two summers ago at the Santa Monica Pier. Their arms were wrapped around each other and they smiled brightly into the camera, not a care in the world. Her cerulean blue eyes twinkled, her red hair fell down her back. He ran his finger along the length of it, recalling how she cried for days when the radiation treatments caused her beautiful hair to fall out.

Placing it gently on the mattress next to him, he reached back in the bag to see what else her parents had given him. Liam pulled out an envelope with his name written on it. He bit his lip, recognizing the handwriting as Paige’s. Taking a deep breath, he began to open it.

***

15

// All the world is a stage
And everyone has their part
But how was I to know which way the story’d go?
How was I to know you’d break my heart? \\

Riley sat on Buffy’s bed, listening as she told him everything that had been going on for the past three weeks. He was shocked and saddened that she hadn’t told him before now. The thought of his girlfriend going through the ordeal alone unnerved him. Little did he know Liam had been there for her during the trying times.

"Buffy, I wish you would have told me sooner," he said. "I could have done something."

She shook her head in disagreement; there was nothing he could’ve done for her. "I couldn’t tell you, I’m sorry. It was something I needed to face on my own."

"I don’t understand. I’m your boyfriend, you should know you can tell me anything. And especially if it’s a family crisis like this, you don’t have to face it by yourself."

Buffy cast her eyes to the ground. "I wasn’t exactly by myself." She knew it would kill him to know Liam helped her through it. But she had to tell him. It wouldn’t be right to keep the truth from him any longer; he’d find out eventually.

"Well, obviously you had your father. God, I would have been at the hospital with you every day if I’d known. You must have needed someone to talk to."

"I did have someone to talk to. Liam knew."

Riley felt the anger boil up inside of him upon hearing of Liam’s involvement. Liam was his biggest competition for his girlfriend’s attention. Knowing she chose her neighbor over him as her confidante was almost more than he could take. "So he knew. Good for him. Why would you tell him and not tell me?"

Buffy could see him holding in his feelings. "I didn’t want to burden you with my problems. Lame excuse, I know."

"I am your boyfriend!" Riley exclaimed. "You’d never burden me."

"You’re blowing this all out of proportion. You make it sound as if I’ve been hiding this from you for months. Look, I know you and everyone else – had I told you – would’ve looked at me with pity in your eyes. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I told almost nobody. Not even Willow knew. And I made Liam promise to keep it to himself as well." She glanced out the window and saw Liam sitting in his room. Sighing, she bit her lip. ‘I need him here to talk to.’

He followed her gaze and discovered his former friend’s bedroom light on. "Why wouldn’t you tell me, but you saw fit to tell him?"

"You are making more out of this than there is. The day I found out my mom was sick he saw me crying on the back porch. I could not very well lie to him. It turns out Liam understood."

Thinking back, Riley remembered that day. He’d seen their embrace and thought it was Liam’s attempt to steal his girlfriend. "And I wouldn’t? I’m your boyfriend!"

She closed her eyes as if in pain. What she had to do in the next few minutes would be extremely painful. For both of them. "He’s been there. And he has been a tremendous comfort to me these past few weeks. I’m sorry, Riley, but you never would have understood the way he does."

"You could have tried to find out," he pointed out.

"I know. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone until I knew for sure what was going on. But I told you for a very specific reason," she said.

"What would that reason be?"

Buffy stood up and paced her room. "We’ve been together for a long time; you were my first boyfriend and I’ll never forget that. Which is exactly why I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t be the girlfriend you need or want or even deserve. It isn’t fair to you. I can’t give you the things you need, like attention and an ear to listen. Not when I have this on my mind. You should find someone else who can do those things for you."

"You’re breaking up with me?" he asked after a lengthy pause. It had taken him a good thirty seconds for her words to fully sink in.

"It’s not because I don’t care. I do. A great deal. My life is way too complicated to involve you in it. I guess at this point, with everything that’s going on, I would be a sucky girlfriend," Buffy explained.

Riley couldn’t believe what she was saying. Then, suddenly, it all made perfect sense. "No, no. That’s a cop-out and you know it. You’re not breaking up with me because of your mother’s health, you’re doing it so you can be with him." He pointed to Liam’s bedroom window.

"Liam had nothing to do with my decision! It’s all me. Why are you blaming him?" she demanded.

"You actually have to ask? Things haven’t been the same between us ever since he returned to Sunnydale. He follows you around like a puppy dog, he beats Parker Abrams up to impress you and then situates himself right between us, driving a wedge securely between you and I. And I see the way you look at him, Buffy! You look at Liam in a way you never look at me!" Riley shouted.

"Lower your voice!" she hissed. "My parents are downstairs and I don’t want to bother my mother. You want the truth? I don’t see us together six months from now, much less six years. Right now I just need to be by myself to sort things out. Even if Liam had not come back to town, I’d have felt this way. You were meant for someone great, Riley, but not me."

He took a deep breath, determined not to lose his cool. "He’ll break your heart."

"I don’t want to date him. Maybe, someday in the future, I might. And as for him breaking my heart, he’d already done that once. I won’t let him do it again."

***

// I’ve always been in love with you
Always with you
I guess you’ve always known it’s true
You know it’s true \\

DEAR LIAM,

WHEN I SAW YOU THIS AFTERNOON, I KNEW IT WOULD BE FOR THE LAST TIME. YOU PUT ON A BRAVE FACE, I KNOW YOU DID. BUT YOU KNEW, JUST LIKE I DO; AND MOM AND DAD AND ASHLEY. EVERYONE IS TRYING TO BE SO STRONG BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID OF SHOWING ME HOW SCARED THEY ARE. AND HOW THEY KNOW THE TRUTH. I AM GOING TO DIE.

I’VE HAD SEVEN MONTHS TO GET USED TO THE IDEA AND I’VE ACCEPTED IT. IF I COULD HAVE ONE LAST WISH BEFORE I GO, IT WOULD BE TO SEE YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING I DIDN’T SAY TODAY. OR, MORE TO THE POINT, TELL YOU WHAT I DIDN’T HAVE THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT. SO I’M WRITING IT DOWN IN HOPES OF YOU READING IT AFTER I’M GONE.

I LOVE YOU. THIS REVELATION MAY OR MAY NOT COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU, BUT I FELT YOU HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW HOW I FEEL. THE FIRST TIME WE WENT OUT (OUR FIRST DATE IF YOU WILL) I FELL HARD AND FAST. THERE WAS NEVER ANYBODY ELSE AFTER THAT. THAT NIGHT I WENT UP TO MY ROOM AND WROTE OUR NAMES TOGETHER IN GIANT HEARTS ON THE INSIDE COVER OF MY ENGLISH NOTEBOOK. I ALWAYS THOUGHT PAIGE ELIZABETH O’NEAL HAD A NICE RING TO IT. PATHETIC, I KNOW.

IT BROKE MY HEART WHEN YOU SAID WE COULD ONLY BE FRIENDS. I HONESTLY BELIEVED (AND STILL DO) YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME. IF ONLY. I TRIED MY BEST NOT TO BE DISAPPOINTED OR HEARTBROKEN WHEN YOU SAID THAT, BUT IT DIDN’T WORK. MY CHANCES OF BEING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WERE DASHED, BUT YOU’D ALWAYS BE MINE. NOTHING, NOT EVEN DEATH, CAN CHANGE THAT.

BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURT, I ACCEPTED YOUR DECISION. WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF ARGUING? NOTHING WOULD HAVE CHANGED YOUR MIND. YOU WERE ALREADY IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE. SHE HAD YOUR HEART LONG BEFORE I COULD STAKE CLAIM TO IT. WHICH IS WHY I AGREED TO BE YOUR FRIEND. BECAUSE I’D RATHER HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND THAN AS NOTHING AT ALL.

IN THE ENVELOPE I HAVE ENCLOSED THE LOCKET YOU GAVE ME FOR MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY. I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT BACK; I WANT YOU TO GIVE IT TO HER. JUST REMEMBER THAT I WILL BE WATCHING FROM HEAVEN WHEN YOU DO. AND I’LL TRY NOT TO CRY WHEN I LOSE YOU TO HER FOREVER.

LOVE ALWAYS,
PAIGE

Liam emptied the contents of the envelope onto his bed. With trembling fingers, he picked up the locket and held it in front of him. It seemed so strange to see it; Paige never took it off, not from the moment he’d given it to her. Closing his eyes, he could still see the bright smile on her face when he placed it on her neck for the first time. And he could feel the touch of her lips on his cheek after he fastened it tightly.

Through his closed bedroom window, he heard shouting coming from the Summers’ house. Getting up, he saw two silhouettes in Buffy’s room; one obviously belonged to Buffy, the other he had to assume belonged to Riley. Liam wondered what was going on, coming to the conclusion that the couple was having an argument.

Shaking his head, he placed the necklace inside the top drawer of his desk. "I’m sorry, Paige. But I don’t think I’ll be giving this to her. Her heart belongs to someone else, too."

***

16

// I walk the wire every night
I can’t decide between wrong and right
I’ve lost control over the things I wanna do
‘Cause I’m hopelessly falling in love with you \\

Buffy quietly knocked on her parents’ bedroom door, not wanting to wake her mother in case she was resting. In the week since the surgery, Mrs. Summers had been given a perpetually clean bill of health. The doctor was able to remove the tumor and was fairly certain it hadn’t spread throughout the rest of her body. So she’d returned home the following evening, the night Buffy and Riley broke up.

"Come on in, honey," her mother called, sitting up in bed. Her doctor wanted her to take it easy for a few weeks. Which meant a lot of bed rest.

"Were you sleeping? If you were I can come back," Buffy said.

Mrs. Summers shook her head, patting the empty space next to her. "No, I wasn’t sleeping. Sit down and tell me what’s bothering you."

"How did you know?" she wanted to know, taking a seat as her mother suggested.

"Call it mother’s intuition. Besides, you’ve been walking around like a zombie ever since Christmas. Something is on your mind. What is it?"

The teenager took a deep breath. What she was about to tell her mother she hadn’t told anyone else. "I broke up with Riley last week."

"I assumed as much, particularly when you didn’t spend New Year’s Eve with him. Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked.

"I guess. I haven’t really told anyone else. You know, I never broke up with a boy before, and it was harder than I thought. Riley and I just weren’t compatible and it felt like I was being unfair to him. I couldn’t stay with him when I don’t feel the same way he does." She gauged her mother’s reaction. "Does that even make any sense?"

"It makes total sense. More than you know. What did you tell him?"

"That I have too much on my mind to be the kind of girlfriend he deserves. But he didn’t accept it; Riley called it a cop-out, and he was right. It was, in a way."

Her daughter’s admission did not come as a surprise to Mrs. Summers. She suspected something more was going on. "What would the real reason be then?"

"It wasn’t like I flat-out lied to him, Mom. I didn’t. I knew I couldn’t be a good girlfriend to him. Not when he didn’t understand exactly what I was going through with you."

"Did you give him that opportunity?" her mother questioned. When Buffy didn’t reply, she got her answer from the silence. "I thought so."

"I didn’t want his pity!" she defended herself. "Or anyone’s for that matter. So I didn’t tell anyone. Well, mostly anyone."

"Buffy, that’s why you have friends. You need people to confide in, people to turn to when stuff like this happens. It’s not good to keep it bottled up inside."

"I didn’t keep it inside. That’s not my style." Breaking down, she put her head in her hands. "Mom, I’m so confused."

Mrs. Summers put her arms around her obviously upset teenage daughter. "What’s confusing you?"

"My feelings. Have you ever been friends with a guy and then start to feel weird around him? Like, you get this strange feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you think about him? Or whenever he’s around?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have this guy friend. He’s great; he’s easy to talk to, he listens to my babbling, he understands me and he can make me laugh. And he helped me out a lot when you were sick. Only I’m starting to think of him as more than just a friend now," she admitted. "I don’t know what to do about it."

"Is he the reason you broke up with Riley?"

Buffy shrugged, not really sure of the answer. "Yes and no, I guess. I don’t know. It wasn’t a conscious decision."

"Well, have you told him how you feel?" Mrs. Summers wanted to know.

"Not lately," she said, recalling the day Liam left for Los Angeles and how he hurt her after her admission of love. "Let’s just say it’s been a long time."

"Maybe you should tell him. Liam has a right to know."

"You’re right. I *should* tell him." Buffy paused, her mother’s statement finally sinking in. "What did you say? Who?"

Mrs. Summers grinned knowingly. "I think you heard me. Am I right? It is Liam, isn’t it?"

"Yes," Buffy responded sheepishly. "Oh god, is it that obvious?"

"No. A mother knows these things. Besides, I think you two would make a cute couple. One thing I can say, it’s been a long time coming. You’ve had these feelings for him since you were a child."

"You know, I told him I loved him a few years ago. Right before he left Sunnydale. And do you know what Liam said in return? That he hated me. It makes me a little scared to tell him how I feel again."

"I’m sure he didn’t mean it when he that said it before."

She nodded in agreement. "He apologized when he came back." She laughed. "He’s apologized more times than I can count. And he’s really been there for me since you got sick; I find myself enjoying being around him. I look forward to being around him."

"Then you should tell him, Buffy. Before someone steals him away for good."

***

// Now the one who never took a chance
Becomes a victim of circumstance
I’ve lost my way and I’m so confused
‘Cause I’m hopelessly falling in love with you \\

She walked into school the next morning with a pounding heart and sweaty palms. She’d hardly slept a wink the night before, frazzled nerves keeping her awake. Today she would tell Liam O’Neal how she felt, come hell or high water. And she’d say it as soon as she saw him. Which didn’t take long; he stood by his locker, unpacking notebooks from his backpack.

"Hi, Liam," she greeted, giving him a nervous smile.

He looked up, seeing Buffy standing to his left. Seeing her made his heart skip a beat; he hadn’t seen her since his trip to Los Angeles for the holidays. He had been purposely avoiding her while trying to sort things out. "Hey, Buff. I haven’t seen you in forever."

"Seems like it. How was L.A.?" she asked.

"It was fine, but I missed everyone back in Sunnydale. Does that make me a loser?" he questioned jokingly.

She giggled. "Hardly. Willow gave me the Christmas card you bought. Thanks a lot."

"No problem. I actually agonized over whether or not to buy you something, but I didn’t know what you wanted or needed. So I decided on a card. It’s simple," Liam said.

"And cheap," Buffy added.

He smirked. "And cheap. How’s your mom doing? You didn’t call me with an update last week."

"She’s okay. The doctor who did the surgery is fairly positive he got it all and that it didn’t spread. Everyone’s keeping their fingers crossed."

"When I was away, I’d been thinking about you…and your mother. I hope you know you can still call me if you need me. Even if it’s just to talk."

"I know." ‘Okay, Buffy, it’s now or never. Do it,’ she coaxed herself. "Liam, there’s something I want to tell you. Riley and I–"

Before she could finish the sentence, Cordelia interrupted her by shouting her boyfriend’s name from a few feet away. "Liam!"

Liam plastered a grin on his handsome face. It was fake, and he knew it. Seeing the expression on Buffy’s face, he thought she knew it, too. "Hi, Cordy. I thought you were going to be in Aspen until the end of the week."

"Change of plans." She put her arms around Liam and gave him a sound kiss on the lips. Buffy had to look away. When Cordelia noticed they had company, she scowled. "Oh. You’re here."

"Liam and I were talking," Buffy stated, a biting tone to her voice. ‘Now go the hell away!’

"That’s nice. Liam, would you walk me to class? I want to give you your Christmas present." She glared at Buffy for a moment. "And I don’t really want an audience." "Sure. Buffy, we’ll talk later. After school." Giving her a wave, he took Cordelia’s hand and they headed in the direction of her homeroom.

Dejected, the blonde slumped against the lockers. "Later. Yeah right. I just lost my chance. Why am I kidding myself? Cordelia’s perfect. What teenage boy in his right mind would choose me over her?"

***

17

// All my dreams are far behind me
They don’t matter anymore
I don’t care about the things I could lose
‘Cause I’m hopelessly falling in love with you //

"Where have you been lately?" Willow asked her best friend at lunch. "It feels like you’ve been avoiding the gang ever since before Christmas."

Buffy picked at her chicken sandwich and fries on the tray in front of her. She wasn’t feeling very hungry; hadn’t since her conversation with Liam three hours earlier. "I haven’t felt like myself. Stuff has been going on."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I do," she answered with a nod. "It’s my mom. They found…they found a brain tumor."

"Oh my gosh, Buffy! Is she okay?"

"So far so good. She had surgery on Christmas Day to have the tumor removed. But the news is pretty positive so far. Dad and I are being cautiously optimistic."

Willow bit her lip, not quite sure what to say. ‘If only Liam were here. He could say something inspirational, or at least something that’ll make sense.’ "That’s good, right? Can I ask how long you’ve known?"

"About a month."

"A month? Why didn’t you tell me before now?"

"I didn’t want too many people to know. Which I know is a totally lame excuse," she tried to explain. "I never even told Riley what was going on."

The redhead took a sip of her Diet Pepsi. "Maybe if you’d told me, I could have helped.. Okay, not really, but I could have listened at least. In fact, if you had told Liam, he could have been able to give you some advice. One of his best friends had a brain tumor." She purposely left out the fact that Paige died from it.

"He knew," Buffy stated, not looking at her friend.

"What? How did he know?"

"I told him. He found me crying on the back porch the night I found out. Coincidentally, it was the same night he went out on his first date with Cordelia. Liam was so concerned and I couldn’t very well lie to him."

Inside, Willow’s heart was breaking. She could see in her mind’s eye the two of them sitting on the porch at night, clinging to one another as they shed tears over their sickly loved ones. "Wow. My brother was really there for you, wasn’t he?"

"He was. And I’m grateful."

"Um, how did Riley take it when you told him? Not about your mom, but about my brother helping you through it? It couldn’t have made him very happy."

"Not very well. It upset him a lot. In fact, I’ve never seen him so mad," Buffy told her. "And me breaking up with him the day after Christmas didn’t help matters much. Needless to say, he probably hates me."

Willow’s eyes widened. "You broke up with him? Why? I thought you two were really happy."

"It wasn’t working out. End of story."

Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of Cordelia and Liam making their way to the table full of her friends. The tall brunette cheerleader grinned triumphantly at her friends while her boyfriend looked like a cross between a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car and a man headed to his execution. A part of her felt sorry for him, the other part felt no sympathy whatsoever. Liam made his bed, now he had to lie in it.

Seeing where her best friend’s attention wandered to, Willow finally understood what was going on. "I don’t think that’s the end of the story, Buffy. Did you break up with Riley because of my brother?" she questioned.

"What makes you think something like that?"

"Because as soon as he walked into the cafeteria you started wearing ‘lost puppy dog’ face. Which directly translates into ‘I love Liam’ face on you. I know that look very well. You wore it all the time when we were kids."

Buffy shrugged. "Not like it matters. He’s with Cordelia Chase."

"Oh please. Do you honestly believe he’d be with her if he knew you were interested in him? No way. Have you told him you broke up with Riley?" Willow wanted to know.

"No. I tried to this morning but you-know-who interrupted us. Will, I don’t want you to tell him, at least not the reason why. I need some time to sort out my feelings."

"Are you worried Liam will reject you? Trust me, he won’t. He’ll drop Cordelia like yesterday’s news."

"That’s not it. I just don’t think I’m ready to handle having a boyfriend right now. And I don’t want to hurt Riley. He deserves better than that."

Willow shook her head. "Just tell him the truth. You’re making a big mistake if you don’t."

"I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?"

***

// Now the one who always played it safe
Becomes another who’s lost his way
I can’t believe it although I know it’s true
‘Cause I’m hopelessly falling in love with you \\

"Are you going out with Cordelia tonight?" Willow asked her brother after dinner that night. She’d entered his bedroom and found him fixing his hair in the mirror.

Catching his sister’s eyes in the mirror, Liam nodded. "Yep. We’re Bronzing it. I’m meeting her there in half an hour."

"You know, Buffy told me about her mother. And about you."

"Oh." ‘Great. Here comes the lecture,’ he thought, applying more hair gel to his brown spikes. "And?"

"And I wanted to say how great it was of you to help her through it. Most guys your age wouldn’t have bothered to take the time," she complimented. "Most guys would have taken advantage of a situation like that."

"I’m not most guys," he said.

Willow smiled sweetly. "Yeah, I know. But I don’t think you realize just how much it meant to her. You gave Buffy hope, Liam."

"I didn’t do anything special. I saw her crying and we talked. Eventually, I told her about what I went through when Paige got sick. Anybody with a heart would have done the same thing," Liam stated.

"But she didn’t tell anybody else. Does that tell you anything?"

"Buffy did not want sympathy or pity." He turned around to face his younger sister. "What exactly are you getting at, Willow?"

"Nothing. Did you hear that Buffy and Riley broke up the day after Christmas?"

Liam shook his head, wondering what his sister was trying to tell him. "No, I hadn’t heard. Buffy didn’t tell me." ‘Why didn’t she? I thought we agreed she could tell me anything.’

"She tried to this morning, and might have if you’d have given her a chance. Instead you ran off with Cordelia. Tell me, who’s more important to you? Your girlfriend or your friends?" the redhead demanded.

"That’s not fair, Will," he shot back.

"Neither is ignoring your friends, especially when one of them is trying to pour her heart out to you. She was about to tell you something possibly life-changing and you walked away."

"I didn’t know," he admitted. "What was she going to say? Do you know?"

She frowned. "Ask her. But I don’t know if she’ll tell you now. You were a jerk, Liam, and you really hurt her. Buffy broke up with her boyfriend to be–" She managed to stop herself before she blurted out the whole truth. If she had, Buffy would never have spoken to her again. "Forget it. Have a good time with Cordelia tonight. I hope it was worth it."

"Willow!" he called as she walked out of the room. When she didn’t answer, Liam dropped to the bed and stared at the wall. "I am a complete idiot. I probably ruined my one and only chance of being with Buffy. Way to go, Liam."

***

18

// And all my dreams begin to blind me
And I was so confused
And I don’t care about the things I could lose
‘Cause I’m hopelessly falling in love with you \\

The day before the Sadie Hawkins Dance at the end of April, Buffy stood on the platform overlooking the dance floor of the Bronze. Leaning against the railing, she sighed and bit her lip. It didn’t seem fair to her that almost all of her friends were there with dates. Willow and Oz sat at a table not far from the dance floor, Liam and Cordelia were slow dancing, and even Xander had a date with Anya Emerson, a transfer student. The fact that she was alone weighed heavily on her mind.

She didn’t see the good-looking blonde boy approach her. "Hey," he said, waiting for her to acknowledge him. When she turned around, he smiled. "I’m Ben. We had Algebra together last year."

Buffy looked closely, but couldn’t place him. "Sorry. I pretty much repress anything math related."

"Miss Jackson? Second period?" Ben asked, hoping to jog her memory. "You sat in the seat three over, one behind."

"Oh yeah, I remember now! It’s the one with the desks and the pencils and the chalkboards, right?"

"That’s the one."

She pointed to her head. "Like a steel trap."

Ben couldn’t help but laugh at her. He’d been dying to ask Buffy out but never had the opportunity to do so until now. "So, I was wondering about the dance tomorrow night. Are you going?"

Scrunching her nose and making a face, Buffy blinked. "The Sadie Hawkins thing? The deal where the girls ask the boys?"

"Yeah. And I thought maybe, if you’re free, you might ask me," Ben suggested.

"Oh gosh. I–"

Ben understood without being told what her answer was going to be. "Oh hey, hey. Don’t worry about it."

‘Great job, Buffy.’ "No, no, you seem like a really great guy. It’s me. I’m not seeing anybody. Ever again, actually."

She could see the devastation written on his face. "Oh. That’s – that’s too bad. Okay, well, I better…" He looked down and walked away.

"Sorry," she whispered, even though Ben was too far away to hear her apology.

Immediately hating herself for the way she acted, Buffy decided it would be best if she left the club. With a frown, she headed down the stairs to the ground floor. No sooner had she made it to the bottom when she bumped into Willow.

"Hey! You bailin’?" the redhead questioned.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. I’m gonna head home, see if my mom needs anything at the store, then sack it."

"You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Seeing and sacking. In fact, you’ve kinda been all-work-and-no-play Buffy," Willow commented.

"I play," she defended. "I have big fun. I came here tonight, didn’t I?"

Willow shot her a look. "You came, you saw, you rejected."

"You mean that guy? I’m just not in date mode right now."

"Well, maybe you need to date to get in date mode."

"That’s the last thing on my mind, Will. I don’t need a boyfriend; I don’t even think I could handle having one right now," Buffy told her.

She raised her eyebrows. "Not even if Liam asked you out?" she asked.

"Not like it’ll happen," the blonde said. "He has perfect Cordelia on his arm. How can I compete with that?"

"You don’t have."

"I don’t want to is more like it. Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, really I do. But I’ve given up. Your brother has had over three months to ask me out and he hasn’t. I’d say his feelings are fairly obvious. I can’t stay here and watch Cordy drape herself all over him. It’s like she’s throwing her victory in my face."

Willow felt bad for her friend. One of these days, her brother will wake up and see what a great catch their neighbor was. "Don’t go. Just stay for a little while longer. Sit down with me and Oz. You can even sit with your back to the dance floor so you don’t see them. If you want, we can draw a picture of Cordelia on a napkin and you can poke toothpicks into her like a voodoo doll."

She laughed at her friend’s attempt at making her feel better. Willow was trying her best to keep the situation from being uncomfortable. "All right. But only because you asked nicely."

***

// I’m not gonna fight it
I’m gonna choose
To hopelessly fall, ooh yeah
You know I hopelessly fall in love with you \\

"We’re still going tomorrow night, right?" Cordelia asked her boyfriend as they slow danced.

"Huh? What?" he asked.

She sighed, annoyed that Liam wasn’t paying attention to her. "Are you even listening to me? Tomorrow is the Sadie Hawkins Dance. We’re going, aren’t we?"

"I don’t remember you ever asking."

"I’m asking you now, you dolt. Where has your mind been? Because it certainly hasn’t been with me. Is there someone else?" She laughed at her question. "Never mind. How could there be? *Who* could there be?"

"Sorry," Liam apologized. "My mind wandered for a minute there. Yeah, I guess we’re on for tomorrow. Now that I think about it, I’m looking forward to it."

Cordelia grinned. "Terrific. Let’s sit down, I’m getting tired. Not to mention my feet are killing me in these shoes."

"All right. Willow and Oz are sitting down, we can join them," he suggested. "Do we have to?" she complained. "We could sit with my friends. It’ll look much better."

He glared at her. They’d shared many conversations regarding to her nasty comments about his friends. Liam understood she didn’t like them, but if he had to suffer sitting with Harmony, Aura and Michelle one more minute, he’d go insane. And Cordelia could offer the same courtesy of having to put up with his friends. "No. Either we sit with my friends or we go home. Your choice."

"Fine. We’ll sit," she relented.

Liam led the way to the table. As they approached, he was pleasantly surprised to find Buffy sitting there with them. Seeing her always brought a smile to his face. "Hey, guys. Mind if Cordy and I join you?"

"Sure," Willow replied unenthusiastically. Stealing a quick glance at Buffy, she found the blonde examining her nails.

"Great." The couple sat down, Liam choosing the chair closest to Buffy. "How are you doing?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "Okay. How about you?"

"Not bad."

"Liam and I are going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance together," Cordelia stated, trying to draw the attention onto her. "Will you guys actually be attending?"

Oz nodded his head. "Yeah, Wills and I are going. Should be a rousing good time."

"You know, we should all get a table and sit together. I think Xander and Anya are going, too," Willow informed them.

"Sounds good," Liam agreed. "Buffy, who did you ask?"

"I’m not going."

Cordelia smirked. "What’s the matter, Buffy? Nobody freakishly loser enough to actually be seen in public with you? What a shocker."

"Cordy, blow it out your–"

"Okay, stop it!" Liam interrupted. "Either get along or leave. I’m sick of hearing everyone argue."

Buffy stood up. "Fine then. See you guys later. Have fun at the dance." Grabbing her purse, she walked in the direction of the exit.

With an unspoken push from Willow, Liam got out of his chair and chased after the petite blonde. "Buffy, I’m sorry," he said when he caught up with her. "I never meant for you to leave. I just wanted you guys to stop arguing."

"Don’t apologize. It’s getting late anyway, I should head home. I’ve overstayed my welcome," she said.

"Cordelia’s a bitch."

"If you’re expecting an argument, you won’t find one. My feelings for her are quite well known."

"So I noticed. Please don’t leave on my account," he requested. "It would mean a lot if you stayed. For me. Please."

She smiled at his invitation, but couldn’t accept. "As sweet as that sounds, I can’t. I’ll see you at school tomorrow morning."

As he watched her walk out, obviously upset with him, Liam questioned what he was even doing with Cordelia, especially when the girl of his dreams was free to be with him.

***

19

// How can I convince you what you see is real?
Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel? \\

Liam strolled the halls of Sunnydale High after classes let out for the day several weeks later. He was looking for his sister; she was going tuxedo shopping with him for the Senior Prom. They were supposed to meet by his locker at two-fifteen, but at two-thirty she still hadn’t shown up yet.

"O’Neal!" someone called.

He turned around, seeing Riley Finn walking in his direction. Inside he suppressed a groan; Riley was the last person he wanted to see. "What’s going on, Riley?"

"Not much. I’ve been meaning to talk to you ever since Buffy and I broke up."

"Don’t you mean since Buffy dumped you?" Liam reminded his classmate.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I thought I’d extend my congratulations."

Liam didn’t get what Riley was trying to say. "Um, what are you talking about? What congratulations?"

"You won. You deserve it."

"What did I win?" The dark-haired boy was genuinely confused.

"Buffy."

He widened his brown eyes. "Okay, you lost me back there. Actually, you lost me at hello. How exactly did I win Buffy?"

"She chose you." Riley snorted with disgust. "She chose you years ago. It took me a while to figure that much out."

"Okay, I’m *still* really confused. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m seeing Cordelia. Which means I’m not with Buffy. Isn’t that fairly obvious?"

Riley frowned. "Are you blind, Liam? She dumped me because she wanted you. Buffy’s not seeing anyone else so that way she can be available when you finally wake up."

"You’re out of your mind," Liam said.

"And you’re dumb as a doorstop and blind as a bat if you can’t see it. All she ever wanted was you. You know, we were happy ‘til you came along. But you had to come back to Sunnydale and ruin my entire life. Now I’ve lost the girl I love," accused Riley.

"When I moved back here, ruining your life was the last thing on my mind. And I never stole Buffy from you. I don’t see why you’re blaming your breakup with her on me. It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep her."

"I despise you."

Shaking his head, Liam closed his eyes and sighed. "I don’t get you, Riley. We used to be best friends. What happened?"

"We were kids. And kids grow up. We grew apart."

"Thanks for the recap. Look, I’m sorry about you and Buffy. But it’s not my problem."

Willow exited the library and saw her brother talking to Riley. She knew she was a couple minutes late for meeting him and debated whether or not to interrupt them until she saw the look of anger on the blonde-haired boy’s face. Figuring there was trouble, she headed for them.

"You’re a liar," Riley spat.

"Um, hi," Willow greeted. "Am I interrupting anything important?"

Her older brother shook his head. "Not at all. Are you ready to go? Because I’m more than ready to get out of here."

"Uh-huh. Let’s go." She looked at Riley sympathetically. "’Bye, Riley. See you around."

"Yeah. Later, Willow."

The siblings didn’t say anything to one another until they were out of the building. "Liam, what was going on with you and Riley? He looked like he was going to rip your throat out."

"Nothing."

"Call it a hunch but I think it was a little more than nothing. I get the feeling the janitors would’ve been wiping blood off the walls if I hadn’t shown up when I did," Willow surmised. "Come on, tell me what really happened."

He rolled his eyes. "Riley has it in his head that I’m responsible for Buffy breaking up with him."

"What?"

"Exactly! He actually believes she dumped him to be with me. Isn’t that completely crazy?" he laughed.

"Not really," Willow disagreed. "It makes perfect sense."

The seventeen-year-old stopped dead in his tracks. "What are you saying, Willow?"

"I’m saying it’s true. Buffy did break up with Riley for you."

"No way," he argued, shaking his head.

"I thought you’d have figured it out by now, but Buffy told me not to tell you. She wanted to do it herself when the time was right. It’s been months since they broke up and she isn’t seeing anyone yet. The way she looks at you…you don’t see it? Liam, she was going to tell you all of it the day we came back to school after New Year’s, but…"

Liam remembered the day very clearly. "But Cordy showed up. God, I could kick myself!"

"This may be a stupid question, but I have to ask it anyway. You said the first day you started school here you fell in love with her at first sight. Do you still feel that way?" Willow wanted to know.

"Yes," he replied without a moment’s hesitation.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"What I should have done back in November. I’m gonna make her mine."

***

// I was always reaching
You were just a girl I knew
I took for granted the friend I have in you \\

Mrs. Summers poked her head in her daughter’s bedroom. She saw Buffy laying on her bed listening to her portable CD player. "Honey, there’s someone downstairs who wants to see you."

The blonde removed the headphones from her ears. "Who is it?"

"Liam."

Buffy jumped off her bed and ran to the mirror, checking her reflection. Satisfied with what she saw, she breezed past her mother and tried to nonchalantly walk down the stairs to the porch where he stood waiting. When she opened the front door, Liam smiled at her.

"Hi, Buffy. I hope I’m not bothering you," he said. "Because I can come back if I am." ‘Stop acting so nervous. It’s just Buffy.’

"Not at all. What’s up?"

"I…I came to say hi."

She giggled. "Hi. I think we already established that, though."

"Yeah, I think we did. Um, do you…I mean, would you like to go to the Prom with me?" he asked hopefully, deciding to just ask rather than beat around the bush anymore.

Buffy blinked, not sure if she’d heard him correctly. She could have sworn she heard him ask her to the Prom. "What did you ask me?"

"Senior Prom is in three weeks. And I know this is awfully short notice but I’d really like to go with you."

"Me? Go to the Prom with you?"

"Yes."

‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,’ she said to herself. ‘Breathe, Buffy, just breathe. And for heaven’s sake, answer him!’ "Okay…" ‘Smooth. Real smooth.’

"Is that a yes?"

She nodded excitedly. "That’s a hell yes."

"Great. I guess we can iron out the details later. I just had to come over and ask while I still had the nerve to do it," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Me," she said.

"Because Senior Prom only comes along once, and I don’t want to look back on it and wonder why I went with Cordelia Chase when you’re the one I really want to go with."

Buffy glanced at the ground, embarrassed. "What about Cordelia? She’s you’re girlfriend, after all."

"I don’t care about her, not the way I do about you. I plan on breaking things off with her very soon. I just wanted to ask you before someone else beat me to it."

"I see, I guess that kinda makes sense. Although I can’t for the life of me think of who else would even bother asking me. Well, would you like to come inside and sit down? Hang out for a little while?"

"That’s okay. I have homework to do. I only came over to ask you about Prom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow," he said. "Maybe we could walk to school together."

"Sounds like a plan. See you then."

Entering the house, Buffy leaned against the door as she closed it behind her. Once it all sunk in a few moments later, the teenager squealed with delight and ran up the stairs to tell her mother.

***

20

// I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style \\

Buffy held up the dress she’d been looking at for the last few minutes. She loved it but couldn’t decide if she should get it. What she needed was a second opinion. "What do you think of this one?"

Willow glanced up from the rack of dresses she was mulling over. "Ooh, I like it."

Holding it in front of her, the petite blonde stared at it. It was a floor-length halter in crimson red, sequins adorning the bodice. "You said that about every dress I’ve picked out so far."

"It’s a great dress, Buffy. You should try it on. Is it your size?"

She checked the tag; it was a size three. A perfect fit. "Yep. All right, I’ll try it on. Don’t make any big decisions without me."

"Wouldn’t dream of it. Go," Willow ordered.

It was the Saturday after Liam asked Buffy to the Prom. It still hadn’t fully sink in that she was going with him, but that small detail didn’t keep her from being excited about it. She’d fallen asleep almost every night with the image of walking into the formal on Liam’s arm imbedded in her mind. For her, it was a life-long dream come true. It almost seemed too good to be true.

While Buffy busied herself in the fitting room, the redhead stood in front of the racks of dresses trying to decide which one she liked the best. She narrowed the choices down to two: one was purple with fringe along the arms, the other was a classic off-the-shoulder emerald gown. The hard part was figuring out which of the two Oz would prefer. This was one of the rare times she wished her boyfriend was more talkative.

"Well?" her best friend asked, stepping back onto the sales floor.

She turned around and her jaw dropped. Buffy looked amazing. The dress was perfect for her. "Buffy, you look…wow. You *have* to get that dress. My brother will totally lose it."

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "I like it, but I don’t know. I guess I haven’t one hundred percent decided if I’m going yet."

"What?!" Willow exclaimed. "What do you mean you haven’t decided? I thought you already told Liam yes."

"I did. I just get this feeling he didn’t mean it when he asked me to go."

"He meant it," Willow reassured her.

She frowned. "I wish I could be so sure. It’s weird, Will. It seems like he had some…some ulterior motive or something. Like he only asked me because he felt bad for me, or did it because he did not want me to feel left out."

"Why would he do that? That’s not Liam’s style."

"Think about it. Everyone else is going to the Senior Prom. You’re going with Oz, Xander with Anya and I’m Miss Fifth Wheel. I would have gone with Riley if I hadn’t broken up with him. Maybe Liam didn’t want me to sit at home all alone while the rest of you partied hearty."

"Trust me when I say he asked you out with the purest of intentions. Liam would not have even bothered if he didn’t want to go with you. And he wants to go with you," the redhead stated. "Just get the dress, Buffy. My brother will flip his lid when you walk in the door."

Buffy faced the mirror, gazing at her reflection. And she liked what she saw. It made her feel like a princess. "I guess it does look good on me. And Dad won’t have a coronary when he sees the credit card bill."

"See? All the more reason for you to get it."

She relented. After all, she did love the dress. "All right. Have you picked one out yet?"

Willow nodded her head, putting the green dress back on the rack. "Looks like it’s going to be the purple one."

"It’s hot. And dangerous," Buffy commented. "It may leave Oz speechless."

"Even moreso than usual. Hence my reason for getting it."

Ten minutes later the two girls carried their respective bags out of the store. They were laughing about something Xander had done at school the day before and weren’t paying attention to where they were walking. In a fit of laughter, they walked into a group of people standing in the middle of the aisle. Just their luck, it was Cordelia and her friends.

"Excuse you," Cordelia said in a snotty tone.

"Sorry," Willow apologized to her brother’s girlfriend.

The tall brunette glared at Buffy, who hadn’t moved. "*Please* get your extreme oafishness off my two hundred dollar shoes."

"Pardon me, Queen C," Buffy retorted sarcastically.

Cordelia surveyed the bags Willow and Buffy were carrying. She lifted one perfectly plucked eyebrow at them. "What were you doing at Anne’s Boutique?"

"I think it’s called shopping," quipped the blonde.

"Well duh!"

"We went Prom dress shopping," Willow informed her.

She burst into hysterical laughter. "Okay, that’s just funny. You mean to tell me Buffy ‘The Freak’ Summers actually has a date to the Senior Prom? Why would anyone want to be seen with you?"

"Is it such a shock he might actually prefer my company to yours?" She was under the impression Liam broke up with Cordelia already. He told her he was going to.

"Oh, that was supposed to be a joke? I guess it fell kinda flat. Well, when I walk into the gym on Liam O’Neal’s arm Prom night, we’ll see who has the last laugh. Come on," she told her cronies.

Buffy stared in amazement as they walked off. "What did I just miss?"

"I get the feeling Cordy thinks she’s my brother’s date."

"Which means he never told her he’s going with me," Buffy said. "I knew it. I knew he asked me for a reason. To humiliate me. Now it all makes sense."

***

// Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while \\

At seven o’clock that evening Buffy and Liam met on her back porch. When Willow returned home from her afternoon of shopping, she immediately burst into her brother’s room and demanded an explanation. After she told him about their run-in with Cordelia at the mall, Liam knew he needed to straighten things out with Buffy. So he called her and asked her to meet him after dinner.

"What do you want?" Buffy wanted to know, not doing a very good job of hiding her annoyance.

"To explain. Will told me what happened at the mall today. I guess I haven’t really handled the situation very well. I’m an ass," Liam stated.

"You won’t hear me arguing," she agreed. "How could you do that to me? After everything I’ve been through this year, you just *had* to play me for a fool. I thought you were my friend. I certainly hope it was fun for you."

He looked down, ashamed at himself. "I am your friend. I should have broken up with Cordelia before asking you out."

"What?"

"I don’t know what I’m waiting for. She’s a bitch for treating you the way she did. I could kill her with my bare hands for what she said to you. But it’s over between me and her."

"It is?"

Liam nodded his head. "Yes. Buffy, I want you to listen to me. I had absolutely no ulterior motives when I asked you to the Prom. I didn’t do it out of guilt or because I felt bad. The only motive I can claim to have is my desire to spend the night with you," he explained.

"Huh?" ‘He did not say what I think he just said,’ she thought.

"Sorry. That came out completely wrong. What I meant to say was that I want to go with you. As my date. The pleasure of your company is all I’m getting out of it."

"Oh. I see."

"I hope you’ll still go with me."

She smiled at him. "I guess. I mean, I got the kick dress and everything. I like it too much to return it."

"I can’t wait to see it. Only three weeks and counting." He thought for a moment. "Make that two-and-a-half weeks."

"Pretty exciting."

"I have to say it again, Buffy. I’m really sorry. First thing Monday morning, Cordelia Chase is history," he promised.

Buffy gazed deep into his eyes. "Do you promise? I don’t want to get my hopes up to have them shattered again."

Liam lifted her chin, touching his forehead to hers. "I promise. You’re the only one I’m thinking of…dreaming of. Every night," he whispered softly. Closing his eyes, he brought his lips to hers.

***

21

// Can we last forever, will we fall apart?
At times it’s so confusing
The questions of the heart \\

As promised, Liam arrived at school Monday morning with every intention of breaking off his relationship with Cordelia. He spent most of Sunday night thinking about what he’d say to her, deciding that short, sweet and to the point was the best course of action. As much as he liked her, he couldn’t imagine dating her any longer. Not when he was so close to being with Buffy.

He saw her standing by her homeroom door talking with several other members of the Junior Varsity cheerleading squad. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for the worst.

"Cordy, can we talk?" he asked once he reached her side.

Cordelia grinned from ear to ear when and took his hand in hers. A protective sign of ownership. "Hey, you. You didn’t call me this weekend. I was wondering what happened to you."

"We need to talk," Liam reiterated.

"Hiya, Liam. You’re looking pretty good," Harmony flirted. She leaned back on her heels to get a better look at his butt. It didn’t go unnoticed by him but he chose to pretend he didn’t see it. "Cordy…"

"Let’s talk here."

"This requires a bit of privacy if you don’t mind. I don’t want to hold a very private conversation in front of your friends. Sorry."

She sighed with annoyance. "Fine, whatever. I’ll see you guys at lunch." The brunette followed her boyfriend across the hall to an empty classroom. "What is so damn important you couldn’t tell me in front of them?"

"It’s about us."

"Well, make it quick. I’ve got to see Aura before homeroom starts." Before Liam had a chance to say what was on his mind she continued talking. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you the good news. I picked up my Prom dress Saturday afternoon. It’s silver, so you’d better coordinate."

"That’s sorta what I wanted to talk to you about," he began.

Cordelia nodded her head. "Yeah, I figured as much. I know you didn’t exactly ask me yet, at least not officially, but I just *had* to get this dress. And since I am your girlfriend, Prom is implied."

"It’s over," Liam blurted out, trying to get in a word edgewise before she could start rambling about Prom again. "I’m not going to the Prom with you."

"What?" she demanded in disbelief.

"We’re finished. I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m sorry."

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me?"

Liam held his ground, despite how intimidated he was at that very moment. Cordelia looked like she was about to rip his head off. "Yes. I don’t have the kind of feelings for you I should be having. I just can’t see it working out between us. I’m taking someone else to the Prom with me. I already asked her and she said yes."

"Who?" ‘I’ll kill her.’

"Buffy," he answered.

"You are taking *her* to Prom? Are you blind, deaf and dumb? Why would you even *consider* taking a freak like her instead of me? She’s a loser; even the losers don’t want to be seen with her!" Cordelia whined.

Liam shook his head at her reaction. It was typical Cordelia. "You know, I actually thought you might be mature enough to handle my decision. Seeing how you’re acting right now, I guess I was wrong. You’re a spoiled, self-centered brat." It felt good to finally get it off his chest.

"It’s nice to know what you think of me!"

"It’s true. I can’t believe how happy I am about this. If you knew how to treat people, this decision might have been harder for me. Cordelia, you treat everyone as if they’re beneath you, and I’m sick of being your lapdog."

"So instead you choose to be Buffy Summers’?"

"At least I can stand her company. She doesn’t put down my friends. She *is* one of my friends, one of my best friends."

Brimming with anger, Cordelia lifted her right hand and slapped her now ex-boyfriend across the cheek. "You’ll regret it, Liam. And when you do I won’t be there to fall back on."

He held his hand to his stinging cheek. She hit harder than he thought. "I won’t be back."

With a huff, she left the empty classroom and headed in the direction of homeroom, forgoing her promise to visit Aura at her locker. Meanwhile, Liam felt as if a hundred pound weight had been lifted from his shoulder. He was finally free.

***

// You followed me through changes
And patiently you’d wait
‘Til I came to my senses through some miracle of fate \\

"Why didn’t you tell me my brother kissed you?" Willow demanded excitedly as they walked to their period class.

Buffy smiled shyly. She hadn’t told anyone about hers and Liam’s kiss on Saturday. Not even her parents knew. "You weren’t home all day yesterday. Besides, I didn’t know what you’d say if I told you."

"Are you kidding? I’m totally thrilled about it. I always thought you two would make a cute couple. Ever since we were kids. But I didn’t want my brother to come between you and Riley when he first got back to town."

"We’re not a couple, Will."

The redhead scoffed. "Oh please. Liam asks you to the Prom, kisses you, breaks up with his girlfriend and you’re telling me you’re not a couple? What planet are you from? The Land of Denial?"

"One amazing kiss does not a couple make," Buffy said.

"Amazing?" teased Willow with an eyebrow cocked upwards. "It was amazing? Do tell!"

She shrugged. "It’s hard to describe. It left me with butterflies in my stomach for an hour afterwards. Have you ever felt that way after a kiss?"

"Oh yeah. The first time Oz kissed me was like that. I ran into my room and screamed into a pillow," her best friend admitted.

"Well, that’s what our kiss was like. It was sweet. Not forced or anything like that; his tongue wasn’t shoved down my throat and he wasn’t trying to grope anything his hands could get a hold of."

Willow bit her lip. That was aspect of the kiss she didn’t exactly want to hear about. "Um, Buffy, I think that was kind of an overshare. He *is* my brother, after all."

"Sorry," the blonde apologized. "It was the best kiss I ever had, simple as that. As freaky as it sounds, it felt like my first real kiss."

"Wow."

"Wow is right. Let’s just say I can’t wait for the next one. The next step up would be one of those long, sweeping romantic kisses. Like Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With The Wind."

As they were sitting down at their desks, Cordelia stomped over, her high heels clicking on the tiled floor. She slammed her palms on Buffy’s desk. "I hope you know it won’t last forever," she stated in a heated tone.

"What are you talking about?"

"You and Liam," Cordelia said with a roll of her eyes. "Eventually he’ll see what a giant loser you are and be back in my arms before you have a chance to blink."

"I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say he finally dumped your sorry ass," Buffy guessed. "Too bad, so sad."

The angry girl scowled. "I’ll never understand what it is he sees in you."

"A personality?" Willow mumbled.

"I heard that. All I have to say is enjoy it while it lasts. Because he is so out of your league."

"And with your sparkling repertoire, I can’t for the life of me figure out why he doesn’t want to be with you. You’re a real keeper, Cordy," Buffy retorted.

"I give it a week before you bore him to death. Two tops."

Buffy didn’t even blink. After ten years of attending school with Cordelia Chase, she was used to being treated like dirt. "We’ll see who has the last laugh. But I’ll be thinking of you on Prom night when I’m slow dancing with Liam." She laughed. "It must just eat you up that he’d rather be with a loser like me than a spoiled princess like you. Goes to show being skanky doesn’t get you all the guys."

"You ought to you know."

"If you think you’ve rattled me, you’re wrong. I have three words for you: get over it," Buffy stated. "I got the guy you wanted. Again. If you’re looking for someone to blame, take a look in the mirror and get the hell out of my face before I push you out of it myself."

***

22

// I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style \\

"Come on, Willow, I need your opinion," Buffy asked as they sat next to one another at the hair salon the afternoon of the Prom. "Should I do it?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It’s your decision. I don’t want to tell you one thing and have you be disappointed with the outcome."

"You’re taking all the fun out of this."

"Do you really think it’s a good idea?" Willow questioned.

"I think I’m ready. For once, I’m going to be spontaneous, impulsive. I over-think everything. It’s time for a change," she decided. "I’m gonna do it."

***

Liam knocked on his sister’s bedroom door later that afternoon. Prom started at six and the limo was scheduled to pick them up in twenty minutes. "Is it safe to come in?"

"Has me saying no ever stopped you before?" teased Willow. "Sure, you can come in, Liam."

He entered the room, Willow standing in front of the mirror struggling with the zipper on the back of her purple dress. Noticing she was having difficulty, Liam walked up behind her and took the liberty of zipping it himself.

"Thanks," she said to him.

"No problem. I can’t believe that’s you in there," he commented. "Little Willow is all grown up."

She turned around. "Look who’s talking. How many times did you tell me you’d never wear a monkey suit? Now look at you." She rubbed her hand over his head, messing up his perfectly-coifed hair. "Don’t you look spiffy!"

"Spiffy?"

"Okay, you look like a hunk-and-a-half. Better?"

He grinned. "Much better. I take it you approve."

"What can I say? You clean up nice. Jaws will drop when you step into the gymnasium. Some girls may even throw their underwear at you."

"Wouldn’t be the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last," he deadpanned. Seeing the expression of shock on his sister’s face, he laughed. "It was a joke, Will. Do I look good enough to walk in with Buffy on my arm?"

Willow nodded her head. "Totally. You two will match."

"I hope so. She told me what color to wear. As soon as she told me to get a red cumberbund, my eyes practically popped out of my head," Liam admitted. "I can only imagine the dress she’s wearing tonight."

"Just wait until you see her. It may happen again."

"I don’t doubt it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put more gel in my hair. Someone ruined my perfect hair," he complained.

She chuckled. "What a tragedy."

***

// Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while \\

"Honey, if you don’t stop fidgeting, I will be forced to hit you," threatened Mrs. Summers. She and Buffy were waiting in the living room for Liam to pick her up.

She shuffled her feet nervously. "Sorry. I just can’t help it. I’m so excited. And nervous. And scared out of my mind."

"What for? It’s only the Prom."

"Which is exactly why I’m so scared. Prom is a big deal. And even more frightening is that it’s Liam’s prom and I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. The last thing I want to do is make him regret asking me to go with him," she said. "Oh god. Do I look okay?"

Mrs. Summers knew she shouldn’t laugh but couldn’t stop herself. "You look lovely. And trust me when I say he won’t regret it. The two of you have been a long time coming."

"What do you mean?"

"When you two were kids, I always knew you had a bit of a crush on Liam. And as you guys got older, I saw the way he looked at you. He felt the same way you did. I’d say he still does. It was just a matter of time until you both figured it out." She laughed again. "I remember the first time he tried to kiss you. You were four and he was six. Sweetie, you punched him in the stomach and he went home crying. He wouldn’t come over here for a week."

She smiled at the memory. "I definitely didn’t punch him this time around."

"This time?"

"He kissed me a couple weeks ago."

"Really?"

"Really. One of those sweet kisses every girl dreams about. I wish I knew what it meant to him, though."

Buffy’s mother wished she was a teenager again. Life seemed so much simpler back then. "Try asking him. You may be surprised by what he tells you."

The sixteen-year-old was going to reply when the doorbell rang. Looking out the front window, she saw the limo parked in front of the house. "He’s here."

"So answer the door," her mother suggested.

"Right." She ran to the door, stopped to catch her breath and then opened it. She nearly fainted when she found a tuxedo-clad Liam standing on the other side, holding a red corsage. "Hi, Liam." ‘He looks so hot!’

He looked up. "Buf-Buffy?" He was taken aback by the beautiful girl standing before him in a long, red halter dress and short blonde hair. "Wow."

"You like?"

"You look…" Words escaped him at that moment. "Beautiful. Your hair…it’s all gone. What happened?"

"I cut it off when Willow and I went to the salon today. I got sick of it long and decided it was time to do something different with it, so I chopped it and had it highlighted. What’s the matter? Don’t you like it?" she asked, suddenly scared that she made the wrong decision.

The shoulder-length bob certainly threw him for a loop. But he loved it. The cut made her look older and more mature. "I think it looks great on you. So does your dress. Let me tell you how I will be the envy of every guy there."

"Liam!" Mrs. Summers called from the living room. "Come in here so I can see you. Both of you. I have my camera, so I hope you’re ready to have your pictures taken."

"Oh god," Buffy mumbled as they walked into the living room.

***

23

"Buffy, you look great!" Willow complimented as her best friend and half-brother exited the Summers’ home. They had spent fifteen minutes inside with Mrs. Summers having their pictures taken.

The blonde blushed. "Thank you, so do you. Doesn’t she look great, Oz?"

"She always does."

Willow pulled Buffy aside while her brother and boyfriend spoke among themselves. "So tell me, did my brother faint when he saw you in that dress? And with your new haircut?"

"No, but I almost did when I saw him waiting on my front porch. Oh my lord, Will, I’m just in total shock that this is actually happening. I mean, I’m going to the Prom. With Liam. This is, like, my best day ever."

The redhead laughed. "You know what’s ironic about all of this? When he moved back to Sunnydale in November, you wanted nothing to do with him; you wouldn’t even give him the time of day. What made you change your mind?"

She shrugged. "It’s finally settled. I’m not angry at him anymore. I guess I was still hurt because of what he said to me before he left. But now…I don’t know. It occurred to me he’s the same boy I fell in love with when I was three, only he’s more grown up. Then when he punched Parker, things changed. I realized he really does care. And when my mom got sick, Liam was there for me."

The man in question came over and smiled when he heard his name being mentioned. "My ears are ringing," he teased.

Willow turned around. "Are we going now?"

"Just waiting for you two," Oz informed them. He extended his arm to his girlfriend. "Shall we?"

"We shall."

"Buffy?" Liam questioned. "Are you ready to leave?"

She nodded her head. "Yep. Let’s party."

The four of them walked over to the limo, where the driver patiently held the door open for them. As Buffy was climbing into the car, she looked up at her date. "In case I forget to tell you later, I had a terrific time tonight."

"So did I," he agreed.

***

"Wow," Oz commented when the two couples entered the gymnasium. "Check it out. Cool decorations."

Liam gazed around, giving the place the once-over. "Nice. Higher quality crepe paper than we had for the Junior Prom at Hemery."

"You went to the Junior Prom?" Buffy asked him. "You never mentioned it to me before."

"Yeah. I took Paige. We spent most of the night making fun of everything," he admitted. "It was fun, though."

"Oh. Is that what we’ll be doing tonight?"

He shook his head. Even though he’d had fun at the Prom with Paige the year before, he was determined to make this one special. "No. Tonight will be different. I thought maybe we’d dance. And eat. And drink."

"And be merry," Willow added.

"Sounds good to me," the blonde said with a smile. She knew, no matter what happened, it would be a night she would never forget for as long as she lived.

Oz looked around, noticing that the gymnasium was getting crowded with Prom-goers. "Don’t you think we should, um, grab a table before they’re all taken?"

Willow agreed. "Good idea."

The four walked to the cluster of tables situated near the locker rooms. A good portion of them were already claimed by the time they made their way over. The girls placed their purses on one of the available tables and the boys draped their suit jackets over the backs of their chairs. While Willow and Oz sat down, Liam turned to Buffy.

"What do you want to do first?" he asked. He wanted to make their first date as perfect as humanly possible for her.

"I wouldn’t mind dancing," she told him. "Unless you want to do something else first."

He shook his head. "Dancing is definitely something I want to do."

After informing Willow and Oz of their plans, the two of them headed for the dance floor. They chose a sparsely-populated corner to avoid being bumped into by the other couples. It was a good ten minutes before a slow song came on. Liam had been waiting not-so-patiently for the deejay to play a ballad so he could hold Buffy in his arms.

// I’ll always remember it was late afternoon
It lasted forever and ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed \\

Buffy let Liam take her in his arms as the song began. His touch was gentle, his fingers barely a breeze against the bare skin of her back. She rested her cheek against the crook of his shoulder and sighed. Being right there was the closest to heaven she’d ever been.

// In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
(deep inside)
Was there that I realized that forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry \\

Liam had never been so nervous dancing with a girl like he was at that very moment. He’d been fairly popular in high school in Los Angeles and went out on plenty of dates, danced with tons of girls, but he’d never felt for them what he felt for Buffy. He was holding the girl he’d been in love with for most of his life, and he never wanted to let her go

// It was late in September and I’d seen you before
You were always the cool one but I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed \\

"Check out the lovebirds over there," Oz pointed out, nodding in Buffy and Liam’s direction. "You’d think they were the only two people in the room."

"That’s probably exactly what they think." Willow laughed. "It’s going to take a crowbar to pry those two apart when the song ends."

Oz shook his head in amazement. "How long is it going to take them to figure it out?"

"They’re both stubborn and extremely pig-headed. But it will happen eventually. I think they’re finally realizing it."

// In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
(deep inside)
Was there that I realized that forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry \\

"Thank you," Buffy whispered. She wanted to thank whatever higher power was watching over her for giving her this experience.

"For what?" he asked her.

She opened her eyes in shock. When she spoke, she hadn’t meant for Liam to hear her. "For bringing me tonight. Being here – right here – is all I’ve ever wanted."

"It is?"

"Yes. I just never expected it to happen. That’s what makes this night so perfect," she said quietly. Then the realization of what she admitted hit her. She’d all but told him how she felt. Again. "Okay, let’s ignore Buffy’s little outburst."

"Why? It wasn’t the truth?"

She frowned. "It was, but–"

Liam lifted her head from his shoulder and stared into her big green eyes. She looked so frightened and he wanted to take that look away. "Then I can’t – and won’t – ignore it. Because it’s true for me, too."

// I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything all right \\

"What do you mean?" Buffy wanted to know.

"Just what I said. But I don’t want to get into that right now," he began. "This isn’t the time or the place. All I want to do is dance with you. And when the Prom is over, we’ll finish this conversation."

Buffy nodded her head in agreement. "Okay."

"There’s one thing I want to do first. And I can’t wait another four more hours to do it."

// I’ll always remember
It was late afternoon
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
Forever was in your eyes
Was there that I realized that forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry \\

By the look in his eyes, Buffy knew what he wanted to do. She had to agree, she couldn’t wait four hours to kiss him either. It was all she’d wanted to do from the moment their first kiss ended three weeks ago. But she hadn’t wanted to scare him away by pushing for another one, so she decided to let him make the next move.

His right hand moved upwards from her back to her neck before tangling it in her newly-cut blonde tresses. Buffy sighed when she felt his fingertips massage her scalp and brought her lips closer to his. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, their lips were only millimeters from touching.

"Nice to see you wasted no time in taking what you wanted."

The two looked up and saw Riley and Cordelia standing a foot away from them, their arms crossed and angry expressions on their faces. "Riley," Buffy stated. "What are you doing?"

"From what I can see, interrupting you two," Cordelia gleefully informed them. "And look at the good job we did."

"Yeah. High marks. Now go away," Buffy said.

"From what it looks like, you two were about to kiss. Let me give you some free advice, Buffy," the brunette started. "His kisses are highly overrated."

Liam glared at his ex-girlfriend. "I don’t recall you complaining at the time."

"I wasn’t until I found better."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Well, congratulations. I hope the two of you are very happy together."

"I find it funny," Liam said, trying to suppress a laugh. However, he was unsuccessful at doing so. "Buffy and I dumped you both and you’re still bitter. Yet you found one another. I hope you’re both very happily miserable together." Taking Buffy’s hand, he led her away from their exes. Liam was not going to let them ruin another possibly-romantic moment between them.

***

24

// Down to the earth I fell with dripping wings
Heavy things won’t fly
And the sky might catch on fire
And burn the axis of the world \\

"What was going on out there?" Willow questioned when Buffy and Liam returned to the table following their dance and subsequent confrontation with their respective exes.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she sat down. She wasn’t upset about the confrontation itself, but about Riley’s bad timing. Just as Liam was about to kiss her for the second time he *had* to interrupt. And that pissed her off more than anything her ex-boyfriend had said.

Liam, on the other hand, didn’t hide his anger nearly so well. "Riley and Cordelia can’t seem to let go," he informed his younger sister. "I don’t know how many different ways I have to tell her it’s over between us."

"It’s because you’re such a hottie," Willow teased.

"Yeah," he scoffed. "I’m so hot that girls are regularly throwing their panties at me."

Oz raised his eyebrows in amusement at the comment. "You’re turning into Tom Jones right before our very eyes."

"Or one of the Beatles," Buffy joked. "I’d have to say Paul, mostly because of the cuteness factor. He was the one all the girls wanted."

He smiled. ‘Cuteness factor? That’s a vast improvement.’ "Well, getting back to the matter at hand, I get the feeling Cordy is turning into a stalker. And don’t even get me started on Riley’s problem. Buffy broke up with him months ago!"

"What did he have to say?" the redhead wanted to know.

"Riley was trying to cause trouble, which is *so* not like him. It’s like he’s done a complete one-eighty from the guy I dated," Buffy said. "I don’t get it. He’s making a big deal out of nothing."

Liam bit his lip. "He thinks I stole you from him."

"What?" she exclaimed incredulously. "Are you kidding me?"

"I wish I were, but I’m not. I’ve lost count of how many times he’s tried to pick a fight with me over you."

The blonde shook her head in annoyance. "Why doesn’t he get it? He and I are over; I broke up with him five months ago. Not to mention that you only broke up with Cordelia a few weeks ago. Something should tell him you didn’t steal me away when you had a girlfriend at the time."

"Tell him that," Oz said.

"So, Liam, now do you wish you’d listened to me and Buffy when we warned you about going out with Cordelia?" Willow asked her brother.

"Yeah, I do. But there’s nothing I can do about it now. You know what they say about hindsight." He stood up. "I’m gonna get something to drink. Buffy, do you want something?"

She thought for a moment. "Can you get me a Pepsi?"

"You got it. Willow? Oz?"

"I’ll have the same," Willow told him.

Oz also stood up. "I’ll go with you; help you carry the drinks back."

When their dates were out of earshot, Willow wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at her best friend. "I saw what was going on out there when Riley and Cordelia interrupted you two. My brother was leaning in for a kiss. Am I right?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Are you nuts?"

"Maybe what?" Xander asked, tossing his coat on the empty chair next to Willow’s. Anya Emerson, his date, sat down next to Buffy without bothering with a greeting. "Is there a funny thing I’m missing?"

Willow smirked. "Buffy and my brother almost kissed. But Riley and Cordelia interrupted them."

Anya shook her head, totally uninterested in the conversation going on around her. "Give me a break. It’s not like he won’t try to kiss you again."

"I don’t know. Maybe he won’t."

"And chance are he will. Don’t get your panties in a bunch over it. He’s had the hots for you since day one."

"Excuse me?" Buffy demanded.

"Anya…" warned Xander. He was very well aware of the animosity that existed between his friend and his new girlfriend.

But she did not heed his warning. "I was there, Buffy, when he slammed into you his first day of school. For god’s sake, it happened three feet from my locker. Liam took one look at you and every other girl at Sunnydale High disappeared. You were all he could see. Just ask Willow, she’ll tell you. I’m sure he’s told her all about it."

Buffy turned to her best friend. She couldn’t believe what Anya was telling her. "Is she telling the truth, Will?"

The redhead couldn’t lie, even if her brother would be angry with her. "Yes."

***

// That’s why I prefer a sunless sky
To the glittering and stinging in my eyes
I feel so light, this is all I want to feel tonight
I feel so light, tonight and the rest of my life \\

After the Prom was over, Buffy, Liam, Willow and Oz decided to stop by the beach and watch the waves crash onshore for a while. The four of them figured a lot of other students would have the same idea, but were pleasantly surprised when they were the only ones there. Which worked out in their favor, given what Liam wanted to say to his date.

"Buffy, do you want to go for a walk?" he asked her once they’d been there for a good ten minutes.

She nodded. "Sure, I’d love to."

Leaving their shoes on the blanket where Willow and Oz remained, she took Liam’s hand as he led her to the shoreline. They walked in silence for thirty seconds before either of them spoke, listening to the sound of the waves as they broke, the water splashing over their bare feet.

"It’s beautiful out here at night," noted Buffy, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, it is." He glanced over at her, seeing her shiver in slightly in the moonlight. "Are you cold?"

Buffy nodded. "Just a little. I probably should have bought the matching jacket."

"You can wear mine." Liam removed the coat and draped it over her small frame. "Better?"

Her heart skipped a beat at his kind gesture. "Much. Thank you."

The two stopped and just watched the ocean. Liam inhaled the fresh sea air, summoning the courage to say what he’d wanted to say for so long. "There’s something I need to tell you, Buffy."

"What is it?"

"I-I don’t quite know how to say it, so bear with me while I try to find the right words." He sighed heavily. "I’ve practiced this in my mind a million times. I guess what I want to say is that I care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone. The feelings I have for you go way beyond neighborly friendship."

"Okay…"

"And when I asked you to the Prom it wasn’t because of convenience or because I felt sorry for you. I wanted to go with you. I wanted…" Liam struggled to find the right words to express what he was feeling.

Buffy noticed it. "You don’t have to say it. I know what you mean. At least I think I do. And it’s how I feel. Why do you think I broke up with Riley?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me. I broke up with Riley to be with you. And here we are five months later and you’re finally figuring it out. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I couldn’t. Like the day after we went back to school following Christmas, but then Cordelia came along and I never got the chance."

"Buffy," he began. But he never finished the rest of what he was going to say. Gently caressing her cheek, he leaned down and touched his lips to hers.

She moaned quietly and stood on her tiptoes as Liam massaged the back of her neck. It felt so good she never wanted it to stop. Her lips opened wider and she darted out her tongue, meeting his halfway. Her whole body was on fire, she’d never experienced that with a single kiss before in her life. But then again, she’d never been truly kissed by Liam before. At least not like that. His kiss worshipped her mouth.

"I want to be with you," Liam told her breathlessly when they finally broke apart.

"Me, too," she agreed. "Come on, let’s go back before Willow and Oz think we fell off the face of the earth."

As they walked back, Liam clutched her hand in his. This time it meant something different. "When would you like to actually go out on a real date?"

She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "How about tomorrow night? We could catch a movie at the Sun."

"Sounds like a date."

***

25

// Gleaming in the dark sea I’m as light as air
Floating there breathlessly
When the dream dissolves I open up my eyes
I realize everything is shoreless sea \\

Mrs. Summers couldn’t get to sleep. She’d laid in bed for an hour-and-a-half after she had decided to retire for the night. But sleep wouldn’t take her; she couldn’t sleep until her daughter was home. Mostly because she wanted to find out how the date went.

At midnight she heard the back door open. She nudged her husband, who had long since fallen asleep. "Hank," she whispered. "I think Buffy’s home."

Mr. Summers rolled over and groaned. His wife had been tossing and turning ever since he’d climbed into bed. "Yes, Joyce, I heard her. You can finally go to sleep now."

She got out of bed, threw on her robe and headed downstairs. When she reached the kitchen she found her daughter gazing into the refrigerator. "I was wondering when you were going to get home," she greeted the teenager.

Buffy turned around. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to find out how the Prom went. Are you going to give me the details?"

She had a dreamy smile on her face, which didn’t go unnoticed by her mother. "I had a great time. We ate, we danced, we kissed, we walked on the beach. The end."

"Kissed?"

"Yes, kissed. And Liam asked me out to a movie tomorrow night. You don’t mind if I go, do you?" she asked. "I kinda already said yes."

Mrs. Summers shook her head. "Not at all. Have a good time."

"Cool. I’m going to head upstairs and change before I go."

"Change? What for? Where are you going?"

"I’m spending the night at Willow’s house. Remember? I told you and Dad before Liam and I left for the Prom," Buffy reminded her mother.

The older woman shook her head absently. "I guess I must have forgotten. I’ve been doing that a lot lately."

"Is everything okay?" the teenager questioned, very concerned about her mother’s health.

"Everything is fine, sweetie. I went to the doctor’s office last month and he gave me a clean bill of health. Nothing to worry about."

"I’d feel better if you went again," she said. "Especially if you’re starting to forget things. Just to be safe."

"I’ll make an appointment first thing on Monday morning. Better?"

Buffy grinned, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. "Much. See you in the morning."

Mrs. Summers returned to bed five minutes later, taking time to drink a glass of ice water. "Buffy’s home."

"I figured as much," Mr. Summers mumbled sleepily. "Now you can sleep peacefully. And so can I."

"Yeah." She paused. "Hank, did you know she’s spending the night at Willow’s?"

"She told us right before she and Liam left. Why?" he wanted to know.

She shook her head. "No reason."

***

// A weightlessness is passing over me
I feel so light
This is all I want to feel tonight
I feel so light, tonight and the rest of my life \\

"You’re holding out on me, Buffy," Willow stated as the two girls crawled under the blankets of the sofa bed in the living room. They were settling down to watch a movie.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don’t even play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know you’re not telling me everything about what happened on the beach tonight with my brother."

Buffy laughed innocently. "A girl is entitled to her privacy, you know."

"That’s not fair!" the redhead exclaimed. "I tell you everything that happens when I go out with Oz."

"Yeah, I know. A little more than I want to know, to tell you the truth. There is such a thing as oversharing, Will."

"Oh, come on. We’re best friends, that’s what we do. Just tell me something before I die from not knowing. Please," she begged.

She shook her head and laughed again. Willow wasn’t going to give up, she knew that for a fact. "All right. I won’t say *too* much since he’s your big brother and all and that might gross you out. We talked while we were walking on the beach. And he offered me his jacket when he saw that I was cold."

Willow grabbed a handful of popcorn and put it in her mouth. "Aww. That sounds so like him."

"Then he kissed me. A real kiss this time."

"Then what?"

The blonde bit her lip and decided to tease and torment her best friend. "A good girl doesn’t kiss and tell."

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"Buffy! You have to tell me right now. I don’t give a damn if Liam is my brother, I need to know. It’ll eat me up inside."

It was just the reaction Buffy had hoped for. Now came the fun part. "We kissed. One thing led to another and he took me right there on the beach. There’s sand in places that haven’t seen sunlight."

"No way!"

"Way."

She shook her head in disbelief. "I can’t believe it. You and Liam…"

Buffy had to ‘fess up before Willow said something that might get her and Liam into trouble. Her best friend wasn’t notoriously known for being able to keep secrets. "I’m only kidding. We just kissed."

"I know. My brother’s not the type of guy to sleep with a girl on the first date," Willow stated.

"Yeah, tell me about it. He beats those guys to a bloody pulp in the hallways at school."

"So that’s it? He just kissed you?"

Buffy nodded. "That’s it. But it was a nice kiss, don’t get me wrong. And then he asked me out on a real date tomorrow night." She glanced at the clock on the VCR, taking note of the time. "Well, tonight considering what time it is."

The two quieted down and Willow put the movie in the DVD player. As it was starting, Liam came downstairs and saw them staring at the television. "What are you guys watching?" he asked them.

"A movie."

"Funny, Wills. What movie?"

"’Someone Like You’," his sister responded.

He knit his eyebrows together. "Never heard of it. What’s it about?"

"Ashley Judd has an affair with Greg Kinnear, gets dumped by him, moves in with Hugh Jackman and turns into a man-hating relationship guru," Buffy summarized for him.

"Oh. In other words, a chick flick."

"Pretty much. Wanna watch it with us?"

"Gee, as tempting as that offer is, I’m gonna have to say no. If I want to see a good Hugh Jackman movie, I’ll watch X-Men," Liam informed them.

Willow shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Buffy laughed. "Don’t worry, Will. I’m dragging him to a chick flick for our date tomorrow night."

"Terrific," he mumbled as he walked into the kitchen for a can of soda.

***

26

// I feel so light
This is all I want to feel tonight
I feel so light, tonight and the rest of my life \\

Following a dreamless sleep, Buffy woke up at quarter after nine the next morning. It was Saturday morning, which meant her date with Liam was less than twelve hours away. She couldn’t wait to get through the afternoon so that she could start getting ready. Unable to sleep any longer, the blonde silently got out of the sofa bed, careful not to wake her best friend.

When she entered the kitchen she saw Mr. Rosenberg sitting at the table reading the morning paper. “Good morning, Mr. Rosenberg,” she greeted.

He looked up and smiled. “Buffy. I’m surprised to find you awake so early. You and Willow stayed up pretty late last night. So did Liam.”

“He wasn’t with us,” Buffy said, worried he thought they’d spent the night together.

“I know. I could hear the TV going in his bedroom. Tell me, did you enjoy the Prom last night?” he wanted to know.

Buffy nodded. “Very much so. I’m glad Liam asked me to go with him.”

“As if there had been any doubt.”

“I’ve been hearing that from everyone lately. It seems like I’m the last one to know.”

Mr. Rosenberg stood up and walked over to the refrigerator. “What can I get you for breakfast? Pancakes? Eggs? French toast?”

She weighed her options. Willow’s father was a terrific cook. “They all sound so tempting. French toast sounds the most appetizing, though. Thank you.”

“You got it. Would you mind waking up Willow and Liam? By the time they get down here it should be ready.”

“No problem.”

Exiting the kitchen, she decided to wake Willow up first, knowing how long it took the redhead to get up in the morning. When she reached the couch, Buffy tapped her best friend on the forehead. After thirty seconds of tapping she opened her eyes.

“What?” she mumbled.

“Time to rise and shine,” Buffy said.

“Ugh,” Willow groaned. “It’s too early to get up on a Saturday.”

Buffy laughed. “Sorry, Will. Your father is making breakfast and he wanted me to wake you up, and Liam, too. So get up because I’m hungry.”

“Yeah yeah.” Yawning, the tired girl stretched her limbs.

Shaking her head, Buffy headed up the stairs so that she could wake Liam. His bedroom door was closed, not surprisingly. She knocked on it and was shocked when Liam told her to come in. She figured he’d still be sleeping.

“Your dad wanted me to wake–” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw him standing in the middle of the room, clad in a pair of tight black boxer shorts. It wasn’t as if she’d never seen a man in that few clothes before; it was that she’d never seen *him* in so little since they were children. And Liam had definitely grown up since then.

He blinked at her abrupt silence. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, fine. I just wasn’t expecting you to be so...naked.”

Liam smirked. It was refreshing to see the usually unflappable Buffy so flustered. “You caught me in my pajamas. Truthfully, I thought you were Willow. If I’d known it was you at the door I would have put some clothes on.” ‘God, this is embarrassing.’

“That would have been appreciated. Anyway, your dad is making breakfast for us. Hurry up,” she informed him.

He smiled at her. “I’ll be down in a couple minutes.” She nodded and turned to leave, and he called out to her again. “Are we still on for tonight?”

“Definitely.”

***

// Tonight and the rest of my life
This is all I want to feel tonight
I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life \\

As they walked out of the movie theater, Liam debated whether or not to put his arm around Buffy’s shoulder. Given what they’d just sat through, he wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea. He wiped his brow with the back of his hand, wishing he hadn’t chosen to wear jeans and a heavy sweater. Man, was he ever hot, and it had nothing to do with the temperature outside.

“Um...” Buffy started. “Interesting choice you made.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Next time I take you to the movies, I won’t wait until the last minute to buy the tickets. In fact, I think I’ll get them a week in advance.”

“It wasn’t *that* bad.”

Liam gazed at her in astonishment. “Buffy, it was practically porn. Not my idea of a great first date flick. It sounded artsy and foreign.”

“It was foreign. There were subtitles.”

“You didn’t need them. Some things are universal.”

She laughed at him. He was obviously embarrassed by the movie they had just sat through. “Okay, Mr. Expert,” she teased, a thinly-veiled poke at his sexual inexperience.

“It’s not funny!” he snapped. When he realized what he’d done, Liam immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t mean to snap on you like that. I just wanted tonight to be perfect.”

In hopes of reassuring her date, Buffy took his hand. “It was perfect. Regardless of the rather tasteless movie we went to see, it was a fun date. It’ll be hard to top, that’s for sure.”

“You’re not mad?” he questioned.

“No. I had a great time. Although I don’t know about you, but I could definitely go for a cold shower.”

He nodded in agreement. “Oh yeah. Would you take it the wrong way if I kissed you right now?”

The question surprised her, but in a good way. It was the last thing she expected him to ask. Not that she had any objections to it. “I’d take it the wrong way if you didn’t.”

With her verbal permission, he brushed his fingertips along her cheek, reveling in the softness of her satin skin. A part of him still refused to believe this was actually happening. It wasn’t the first kiss they’d shared, and if he had anything to say in the matter, it certainly wouldn’t be their last. If there was one thing he wanted to do, it was make each kiss uniquely different. And for this one, he simply closed his eyes and brought his lips to hers and kissed her. No frills, just a chaste kiss on the lips.

Buffy had been expecting something more passionate, so she was taken aback by it. Staring into Liam’s soulful brown eyes, she needed to know what was going on between them. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” But he knew what she planned on asking before she asked it.

“What’s going on here? Between us, I mean.”

“What do you want to be going on between us?”

She sighed. “I think you know what I want. It’s why I broke up with Riley. And Prom was great fun and so was tonight. But if you’re only here for fun, or to be a sympathy date because you feel bad for me, then tell me right now.”

“It’s not about sympathy or guilt,” Liam explained. “I don’t know what on earth gave you that idea. Truth is, I’m attracted to you. I want to get to know you better; get to really know the girl I’ve known for most of my life. I thought I explained that to you last night when I said I wanted to be with you. Only you. That is, if you’ll let me.”

“You really mean it?”

“I want to see more of you. Outside of home and school and our friends, on a more continuous basis. Are you okay with that?”

Buffy nodded her head. If only Liam knew just how okay it was with her. “It’s exactly what I was hoping you’d say.”

***

27

// It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark \\

Mrs. Summers gulped hard when the doctor entered the examining room. It was Thursday morning and she had made an appointment to see him Monday, just like she had promised Buffy. Her forgetfulness in recent weeks frightened her. And her family.

“Hi, Joyce. How are you doing?” Dr. Henderson asked her.

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

The doctor smiled, glancing down at Mrs. Summers’ chart. “Well, I’ve gone over the tests you took on Monday and nothing appears to be out of the ordinary.”

“Then why do I keep forgetting things? My daughter told me she planned on staying at a friend’s house and twenty minutes later I completely forgot she even mentioned it,” she explained. “It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“It’s comment to forget things, Joyce. Everybody does it.”

“If only it were that simple. Not everybody just had surgery to remove a brain tumor. I forget things not five minutes after the fact. I’m scared the tumor is coming back. So is my daughter.”

He nodded his head. “You have every reason to be concerned, but I assure you everything is fine. Just because you forget something doesn’t automatically mean you’re having a relapse. Your tests have come back negative, Joyce. The tumor isn’t growing back. I can safely say you are as healthy as a horse.”

“Are you sure?” she questioned.

“One hundred percent positive.”

***

// Try is a word I could never explain
But I hear you when you don’t say a thing \\

Buffy struggled with her Math homework. She hated quadratic equations; she had absolutely no use for them. It wasn’t as if she’d ever need them in real life anyway. More than once in the past hour had she been tempted to pick up the telephone and beg Willow for help. But she knew she had to muddle through it by herself. Willow, Liam, Oz and Xander were all at the Bronze.

As if sensing she needed a distraction, the cordless phone on her desk began to ring. ‘Thank god,’ she said to herself. But when the blonde reached over to pick up the receiver, it stopped. ‘Just my luck.’

“Buffy!” Mr. Summers called from downstairs. “Telephone!”

“Who is it?”

“I didn’t ask. It’s a guy, I know that!” he responded.

‘Must be Liam, finding out if I finished my homework so I can party with them. I *really* hate Math!’ She picked up the phone. “I got it, Dad,” she said into the receiver. When she heard him put the phone down, she giggled. “Let me guess. You couldn’t go two hours without hearing my voice.”

“Something like that,” the male voice on the other end of the line replied.

The voice definitely didn’t belong to Liam. It was Riley. “Riley. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were–”

“Liam. Yeah, I figured as much. Sorry to disappoint you.”

“It’s not a disappointment. It’s...it’s nice to hear from you.” Buffy had no idea what to say to her ex-boyfriend. Their last conversation was tension-filled to say the least.

“But I’m the last person you expected. Right?” he asked.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. She hoped this wasn’t the beginning of another argument like the one at the Prom. “Truthfully, yes. Not to sound rude or anything, but what do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize to you.”

Buffy was taken aback. “Apologize?”

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to talk to you all week, but every time I see you, you’re flanked by Liam or one of your friends. And I didn’t want an audience. Prom night I acted like a real ass.”

“No argument here,” she agreed.

Her words cut like a knife. Riley knew Buffy would never understand how much she meant to him. “I didn’t mean to start a fight with Liam. I guess I didn’t want to admit how much our breakup hurt me.”

“It was nearly six months ago, Riley. You need to move on.”

“I know that. Losing you to someone I once considered my best friend killed me. I tried for a long time to get you to notice me, Buffy. He never even had to try. Liam had you at hello.”

“No he didn’t.”

Riley scoffed. “I was there. Maybe you didn’t see it, but I did. At that moment I hated him.”

His confession was eye opening, but she didn’t understand why he was telling her now. “This is all well and good, Riley, but why are you telling me all this now?”

“I wanted you to know that I didn’t mean to ruin your date with Liam. Seeing you in his arms, ready to kiss him, caused something inside of me to snap,” Riley explained. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Thank you for admitting that to me, it was very big of you. And you didn’t ruin my date,” she informed him.

In the privacy of his bedroom, he nodded. “I’m glad. I’m sorry, Buffy, I really am. It was selfish and completely out of line. Please tell Liam I said so.”

“You can tell him yourself. It’ll mean more to him if he hears it coming from you rather than from me.”

“I know I have no right to ask, but I have to know. Are you and Liam going out now?” he wanted to know.

“We’re in the beginning stages of seeing one another. So to answer your question, I guess that would be a yes,” she answered.

“You’re in love with him,” whispered Riley, spitefully. Realizing how angry it must have come out, he instantly regretted it. “Sorry.”

Buffy bit her lip. His statement caught her off-guard, but she couldn’t very well deny it. What Riley had said was the truth. “Don’t be sorry. You’re right. I’m in love with him. Or maybe I’m falling in love with him again. I am not sure which.”

“The moment he set foot in Sunnydale, I never stood a chance.”

“Our breakup had nothing to do with you or my feelings for you. I cared about you; I still do and I always will. I’ve just always had these feelings for Liam. This is my time to act on them. I wish things could have been different between you and me.”

Riley understood where Buffy was coming from. He’d felt the same way about her. “Maybe someday they will.”

She frowned. “Maybe, but I don’t think so. You are a great guy, Riley. Someday you’ll meet the girl of your dreams. I’m sorry I couldn’t be her,” Buffy apologized. And she meant every word of it.

“I’m sorry, too.”

***

TBC...

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