47

// I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how you feel so much
But we cannot say a word \\

“School,” Buffy mumbled, rolling her eyes in disgust as she and Willow entered the main doors of Sunnydale High. “Why does it seem like summer vacation just started last week?”

Willow nodded, agreeing whole-heartedly with her best friend. “Yeah, I know what you mean. And for you it wasn’t exactly a vacation-y vacation anyway. It’s not like you even got to enjoy any of it.”

‘I enjoyed parts of it,’ she thought. ‘The parts with your brother were pretty memorable. But I can’t exactly tell you that.’ “Summer vacation just sucked rotten eggs. I need a vacation from my vacation. Do you think Snyder would give me another three months to recuperate?” Buffy knew it was a far-fetched idea.

“Doubtful. Think of it this way, we’re juniors this year!” Willow stated excitedly.

The blonde lifted her eyebrows at her friend’s statement. “Okay, Will, that’s something to be excited about because...?”

“Well, there’s the Prom in May and...and we’ll be seniors next year.”

Neither of the two girls saw Xander walk up behind them. He’d been listening to their conversation for the last thirty seconds. “I’ll be excited about that next year when we actually *are* seniors,” he said, announcing his presence.

The two girls turned around and broke out into huge grins upon seeing their friend. Xander had gone on a cross-country trip with Anya, and they hadn’t expected him back until the following week. To have him back so soon was a pleasant surprise for the first day of school.

“Xander!” the redhead exclaimed. “What are you doing here? Your mom said you wouldn’t be back until sometime next week.”

The boy frowned. He hadn’t had the greatest summer either and was glad to be back in Sunnydale. “Yeah, well, that was the plan originally. But it changed a few days ago. And let me tell you how happy I am to be back here.”

Buffy could tell something was definitely wrong with him. “Xand? What’s wrong? Did something happen during the trip?”

“You could say that.”

The three stopped walking when they reached the auditorium. On the first day of school, all returning students had to listen to Principal Snyder’s Welcome Back speech. After waiting in line to enter the crowded auditorium, they took a seat in the middle of the room and the girls waited for Xander to fill them in on what had happened.

“Okay, spill it,” Willow ordered.

“Anya broke up with me,” he stated simply, staring at his hands. “She did it two days ago. Just dumped me out of the clear blue sky.”

From her seat in front of them, Cordelia Chase heard his admission. Turning around, she flashed her trademark snide smile. “Oh, you poor baby. The girlfriend finally woke up and discovered what a loser you are? Certainly took her long enough.”

“Bite me, Cordy,” retorted Xander. “I’ve had a sucky enough week without additional grief from the peanut gallery.”

Making a snotty face, Cordelia faced the other way and continued talking to her friends.

“I’m so sorry, Xand,” Buffy apologized. She felt awful about the breakup, despite her dislike for Anya Emerson. Nothing made her feel worse than seeing her childhood friend so heartbroken. “What happened?”

He sighed. “We were in Ohio; we’d just gotten to the university and were putting her things away. I had to stay in the motel down the road because they wouldn’t let me stay in the dorms with Anya. The next day while we were unpacking her boxes she told me it was over. Apparently she met some guy during orientation and decided she didn’t want to be tied down to a high school student.”

Buffy was outraged. The couple had been together for close to six months, and Xander deserved better than to be treated like that. “I know you cared about Anya, but the girl was nothing but a bitch. Especially for doing that to you. If you want, Liam can introduce you to some of the girls in his dorm. I’m sure they’d love to get to know someone as great as you.” She thought for a moment. “Hey, you know what? There’s a party this weekend at the Sigma Delta Gamma house. Liam and I are going, why don’t you come with us? It’ll be fun.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he declined. “I think I’m just gonna stay at home and listen to country music. The music of pain.”

Willow put her arm around his shoulder as a supportive gesture. “Everything will be okay. If you decide to go, I’ll go with you. Oz and the Dingoes might be playing at the party, so you and I can dance and hang out and stuff.”

“While Buffy and your brother make out in some dark corner?”

Buffy laughed. “You got that right.”

***

// We are screaming inside
But we can’t be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me? \\

“How was school today?” Mr. Summers asked Buffy that evening over dinner.

She shrugged her shoulders. “It was okay. The first day of school is always the first day of school. A big disappointment.”

“Sorry to hear about that.” He took a deep breath. “Honey, I have some bad news. I have to fly to New York this weekend. I’m leaving on Friday morning and I won’t be back until Monday night.”

“How come?” It was unusual for her father to go away for a weekend.

“It’s for work, nothing to be worried about.” Mr. Summers couldn’t tell his daughter the real reason. At least not yet; not until he’d come to a decision. “I’ll be staying with your aunt Meredith and her family while I’m there.”

She bit her lower lip. “What about me?” Buffy was concerned he’d make her join him. She was looking forward to her first college party that weekend.

“Unfortunately, you can’t come with me. I don’t want you to miss any school, especially not this early in the year. I’m allowing you to stay home alone for the weekend. Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg will be watching the house while I’m away. Promise me you won’t do anything that’ll require them to call me.”

“You have my word, Dad. No wild parties while you’re gone. I just can’t believe you are letting me stay here by myself,” Buffy said. “This is so cool.”

“Well, I trust you. Remember that.”

She heard the underlying warning in his voice. “I’ll remember.” ‘I can’t wait to tell Liam. This is going to be the best weekend ever.’

***

48

// Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories \\

“Guess what? I’ve got some really good news I heard last night,” Buffy said to her boyfriend the next night at the Bronze. They were off to the side of the dance floor, swaying to the ballad the club’s deejay was playing.

“What’s the good news?” Liam asked.

She lifted her head off his shoulder and gave him a half-smile. Every time she looked deep into his brown eyes she thanked her lucky stars to have him in her life. “Dad is going out of town tomorrow morning. That means I’ll be home all by myself this weekend.”

Liam didn’t have to be a genius to know what she was getting at. But he wanted to hear her say it. “Really? You sound like you’re pretty excited about it.”

“I’m very excited about it. You know, I was thinking last night that maybe you might want to stay over with me.”

“You mean like a sleepover?” he teased.

“Something like that. I sorta planned on having a slumber party for just you and me. How does that sound? Are you game?” Buffy wanted to know.

He pretended he needed to think it over, just to aggravate her. In reality, he was more than game. Over the last few weeks Liam had been giving more and more thought to taking their relationship to the next level. And after serious consideration he came to the conclusion that he was ready. Mr. Summers going away for the weekend was beyond perfect timing; it was fate.

“Sure, why not?” he responded. “Could be fun.”

Buffy tried to gauge the expression on his face but it was unreadable. Something was going on in his mind, she knew that for a fact. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? You don’t have to stay over if you don’t want to, Liam.”

He didn’t want to let her in on his plans. If Mr. Summers was going out of town, they couldn’t let this opportunity pass them by. “I’m fine with it, Buffy. Don’t worry about me.”

“I just don’t want to rub your nose in it. If you’re still not ready, that’s okay by me. Nothing has to happen. I’ll be perfectly content just to snuggle with you all night long.”

‘Boy are you in for a big surprise,’ Liam thought. “I appreciate that. You have no idea just how much.”

***

// I’m so afraid to love
But more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose \\

Liam entered his dorm room at eleven o’clock that evening, after walking Buffy home. For the first time in weeks he was actually happy to see Spike there, lying on his bed listening to his portable CD player. Ever since Buffy told him about her father going out of town that weekend, he’d been debating whether or not to ask his roommate for advice. Spike had bragged numerous times about his experience with the opposite sex.

Seeing the dark-haired boy return, Spike stood up and pulled off his headphones. “You’re back early. I’m leaving.”

“Can we talk, Spike?”

“You mean you want to have another rousing one-sided conversation? That should be really exciting,” he replied sarcastically. “Count me out, Peaches.”

“It’s about sex,” Liam stated matter-of-factly as his roommate began opening the door.

Spike raised his eyebrows in interest. There was no other subject he enjoyed talking about more. “Well, you’ve piqued my curiosity. What about sex do you want to talk about?”

“I wanna know how to do it.”

The bleached-blonde man burst out laughing. “Right, that’s a good one. You almost got me there. But Spike’s not that stupid.” He started to leave the room again.

“This isn’t a joke, Spike. I’m one hundred percent serious about this. I need your help,” Liam pleaded. He hated admitting it, but his roommate was his only hope.

By the look on his face, Spike could see he was telling the truth. And that surprised him. “Gotta say, Peaches, I’m a little shocked. Especially after seeing you and the hottie going at it a few weeks ago. You mean to tell me you two have never knocked the boots?”

“I wouldn’t put it as crassly as you just did, but no, we haven’t slept together. And her dad is going away this weekend, which gives us the perfect opportunity to do so,” Liam explained.

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess it does. But what the hell do you need my help for?”

Liam looked away in embarrassment. This was the part he’d been dreading – the admission of his inexperience. “Because I’ve never done it before. And I don’t have the first clue as to what I need to do. I mean, I know what to do...I’m just not sure if there’s a technique or anything like that. Maybe there’s something I don’t know that everyone else does.”

Spike would never have guessed by the way Liam carried himself that he was a virgin. He exuded self-confidence. “Just rent a porno. That’ll give you an idea of what you need to do.”

“I can’t do that stuff!” he exclaimed. “I’ve seen pornos and there is no way I would ever be able to do that stuff with Buffy. Or *to* Buffy.”

“Never say never.”

“Spike, please. It’s hard enough for me to come to you, can you at least take it somewhat seriously? I’m in trouble here and I only have until Saturday night to become an expert.”

“Ain’t no way you’re gonna be an expert in forty-eight hours, even with my guidance. The most I can do is give you a few pointers and let you in on some tricks I’ve picked up along the way. Guaranteed to blow her mind.”

“I don’t want to blow her mind. I just want to make sure I don’t do something wrong.”

“Being there first definitely has its advantages. Nothing to compare it to.”

Liam nibbled on his lower lip. “That would be part of my problem. I won’t be the first.”

Spike whistled. “Well then, that *is* a problem for you. Although I am a bit surprised to hear that Fluffy’s done it and you haven’t.”

“With a guy who has more experience than you do, probably.”

“I would highly doubt that. Look, if you want my help, you got it. But I can only lay down the ground rules for it; the rest is up to you. First order of business is protection. You got any?” he asked.

He shook his head. “No.”

Walking to his dresser, Spike pulled out a box and tossed it to his roommate. “Take them. They’re the most important part of sex. You have to remember to put it on every time. You don’t want her getting pregnant.” He paused. “God, I sound like a bloody public service announcement.”

Liam examined the box. “Ribbed for her pleasure?” he read off the back of the box. ‘I’m in way over my head.’

“Which brings me to point number two. The first time is never about you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never had sex before or if you’ve done it a million other times, the first time with a woman is never about you. It’s all about her and making damn sure she enjoys every last second of it. If the first time isn’t good, you can pretty much guarantee there won’t be a second time.”

“How do I do that?”

“Find out what she wants. Fluffy should be easy; she’s done it before so she knows what she likes and what she doesn’t. It’s as simple as this: do what she says. If she says you give it to her harder, give it to her harder. She wants you to slow down or speed up, bloody well do it. Given enough time you’ll know before she tells you.”

Liam nodded. “Sounds easy enough.”

“One more thing, though. If she says no, you stop. No questions.”

“Yeah, that much I know.”

Spike patted him on the shoulder. “Gotta say, Peaches, you’re a quick study. Don’t worry, you’ll do all right.”

“I guess we’ll find out on Saturday night.”

“I can always let you borrow my video camera so you can tape it. I could watch later and critique it,” he suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“No way in hell.”

“It was worth a try.”

***

49

“I don’t why I let you guys talk me into this,” Xander complained as he, Willow and Buffy walked down the hall toward Liam’s dorm room. “I’m *so* not in the mood to get down and boogy.”

Willow grabbed her friend by the arm and practically dragged him down the hallway. “Come on, Xander, it will be a lot of fun. You need to get out and enjoy yourself.”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed. “Besides, this isn’t like hanging out at the Bronze on a Saturday night. This is a full-blown college party. Our first! You’ll meet all sorts of new people. Girls even.”

“I don’t want to meet new girls. I want to sit at home and mope over Anya.”

The blonde knocked on her boyfriend’s door. “Well, that’s too damn bad, because we are not going to let you mope around for the rest of your life. You need to get over Anya Emerson, forget she ever existed. There are going to be tons of college girls here. I told you the other day Liam will introduce you to a bunch of them.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Puh-lease. He’ll be too busy showing you off to his new friends to worry about me. I don’t plan on holding my breath.”

The door opened and Spike smirked at the three high school students, his roommate’s girlfriend in particular. Her black dress showed off her curvaceous figure. ‘No wonder the Poof’s so hung up on her, look at that body! She’s in for the surprise of her life tonight.’ “Hello, cutie. Red,” he greeted. “Who’s the big dork?”

Xander threw his arms up in the air. “That does it, I’m out of here.” He started to walk away.

But Buffy yanked him back. “This is our friend Xander Harris. Xander, this is Liam’s roommate Spike.”

They walked in the room and Xander gave the bleached-blonde Englishman a dirty look. “Charmed, I’m sure.”

“Where’s Liam?” Willow wanted to know. She hadn’t seen her half-brother since Thursday night at the Bronze.

“In the bathroom down the hall doing his hair. I have a feeling he could be in there for quite some time, so why don’t we all sit down,” he suggested.

The three guests sat down on Liam’s bed while Spike took a seat on his own. He kept looking Buffy up and down, trying to imagine what his roommate’s response to her delectable body would be. Buffy, on the other hand, felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

“Are you doing to the party tonight?” Buffy asked him.

Spike shook his head. “Nah. I got other plans.” ‘Not that I wouldn’t mind sticking around for the post-show later. Maybe I *should* hook up the video camera before I leave tonight.’

Liam walked into the room, not realizing Buffy, Willow and Xander had already arrived. His heart dropped, fearing his roommate might have spilled the beans about his plans for the night. Seeing Spike wink his eye at him, he no longer felt worried. His secret was safe.

“Hey, guys,” he said when he came up behind them. “Are you ready to party?”

The blonde jumped off the bed and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. With Liam around, she knew Spike would stop undressing her with his eyes. “Thank god you are here,” she said, relieved he’d finally arrived. “I can’t tell you how much I missed you.”

“You just saw me last night,” he reminded her.

“And I was hoping I could have woken up next to you,” Buffy whispered. “But you just left.”

“Hi, Liam,” his sister said, hoping to get his attention. Willow knew first-hand that whenever Buffy was in the room Liam tended to forget the rest of the world existed.

“Hi, Wills. Xander. How are you guys doing?” he asked them.

“I’ve had better days,” Xander replied.

“Hopefully that’ll change tonight. I made a mental list of girls who’d be perfect for you. I’ll introduce you to them at the party,” Liam informed him.

Xander frowned, not really believing the college student. “Sure.” ‘I’ll believe that when I see it. That might require you to keep your hands off of Buffy for more than five minutes. I don’t know if you can handle the time apart.’

“Mom wanted me to invite you over for dinner tomorrow night,” Willow told her brother. “We’re having vegetable lasagna.”

“Sounds good. Everyone ready to go?” he asked them.

As they left the room, Spike followed them to the door. “Have a good time,” he said, an unseen smile playing upon his lips.

***

// Say good night, not goodbye
You will never leave my heart behind
Like the path of a star
I’ll be anywhere you are
In the spark that lies beneath the coals
In the secret place inside your soul
Keep my life in your eyes \\

“That was so nice of you to do that for Xander,” Buffy commented to Liam while they danced two hours later. The band had taken a break and the sound system was playing a slow song. To their right, Willow and Oz were sharing a few stolen kisses before the band had to start playing again.

“Do what?”

“Introducing him to that girl over there.” She turned her head to see her friend dancing with a tall blonde young woman Liam had introduced him to.

Liam looked at the two. He had to admit they made a pretty cute couple. “You mean Kate Lockley? She’s a nice girl.”

“She seems like it. And she seemed to really take a liking to him. But you never told me how you met her.”

“We’re in the same English Lit class. She actually asked me out on the first day of classes, but I had to tell her I’m already taken. It broke her heart in a million pieces. I think she’s handling my rejection fairly well,” noted Liam.

The blonde rolled her eyes. “You are such a heartbreaker, Liam O’Neal.”

“It’s often been said.”

“And conceited, too.”

// Say goodnight, not goodbye
Don’t you fear when you dream
Waking up is never what it seems
Like a jewel buried deep
Like a promise meant to keep
You are everything you oughtta be
So just let your heart reach out to me
I’ll be right by your side \\

“I have to admit, I was a little disappointed when I woke up this morning and you weren’t there,” Buffy told her boyfriend. “I was *very* disappointed.”

The couple had stayed over at the Summers’ house Friday night watching a movie on cable. “Sorry,” Liam apologized. “I left right after you fell asleep.”

“Why? I thought you were planning to spend the night with me. In a purely PG-13 sort of way.”

“That was the plan at first.”

Buffy was confused. “So what changed?”

“I decided to go back to the dorms. I-I couldn’t trust myself to keep it strictly PG-13. Don’t get me wrong, nothing would have happened, it’s just that I didn’t want to be faced with the temptation.”

His words brought a smile to the sixteen-year-old’s face, which thoroughly confused him. “You were tempted by me?”

“Yeah.”

“Were you afraid you’d lose control and do something you weren’t ready to do?” Buffy wanted to know.

Liam touched his forehead to hers. “Something like that.”

// You are everything you oughtta be
So just let your heart reach out to me
Keep my life in your eyes
Say goodnight, not goodbye
Say goodnight, not goodbye \\

“Do you not trust me?” she asked, even though she was afraid of his answer. “Are you worried I might lose control and push you into doing something you’re not comfortable with?”

He sighed. “It’s nothing like that, Buffy. It’s going to take me a little longer to be comfortable with the sexual aspect of our relationship. You know how most guys are ready to jump right into the pool without testing the water? I’m not one of those guys; I never have been. I like to ease into the water slowly.” ‘God, I hope Buffy is buying this.’

Buffy nodded her head. “All right. I’m in no hurry, just...don’t make me wait forever, okay?”

“I won’t. What do you say we skip the rest of the party and go back to my room,” he suggested. “We can hang out in there for a little while.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

***

“...so that’s why I decided to major in law enforcement and criminal justice,” Kate told Xander.

He nodded, staring blankly into his drink. He’d spent the last twenty minutes listening to Kate Lockley ramble on about her family, career choice and her ex-boyfriend. If there had been a wall nearby, he’d be banging his head against it by now. “Sounds great. I’m, uh, gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“I’ll wait right here until you get back.”

“There’s a shock,” he mumbled as he walked away.

Heading through the kitchen, Xander found a door marked PRIVATE and turned the doorknob. It opened, much to his shock. Closing the door behind him for privacy, he turned on the light and found that he was not alone in the room.

“What the hell are *you* doing here?” he demanded.

***

50

// When the world wasn’t upside down
I could take all the time I had
But I’m not gonna wait when a moment can vanish so fast
Because every kiss is a kiss you can never get back \\

Upon opening the door to his dorm room, Liam sighed with relief when he found the room empty. Spike had promised to spend the night elsewhere, but he feared his roommate hadn’t left yet. The last thing he wanted was for Spike to rattle his nerves even more. It was the most important night of his life to date, and he wanted to be certain it went perfectly.

Buffy noticed his hand shaking. “Hey,” she said. “Are you feeling okay?”

‘Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,’ he thought. ‘Keep it together. This is supposed to be a surprise.’ “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, I guess.”

“Do you want me to leave so you can get some sleep?” she offered. “I know you were out late last night.”

“No! I’ll be fine.” They walked inside the room, Liam holding the door open for his girlfriend. Glancing around quickly, there was still no sign of Spike.

She smiled, sitting down on Liam’s bed while he closed the door for privacy. “No Spike, huh? Must be our lucky night.”

“You have no idea,” he said under his breath. “Do you want something to drink? I think there might be a bottle of Coke in the mini fridge.”

Buffy shook her head, standing up once again. “No thanks. I want to take advantage of our time alone before Spike gets back.”

She walked up to her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around his neck. Even though she wore heels, Buffy was barely able to reach his lips. But when they touched it was always worth the effort. This kiss, though, felt different somehow. Buffy could feel more passion and heat in it, radiating not from her but from Liam. He wasn’t holding anything back this time. That was unusual.

Liam had wanted to take things slowly, build up the passion and lust and wanting. His body had a different idea, however. His blood boiled to be one with his love while his mind pleaded to behave. So he chose to ignore his body, not wanting the night to be over before it began. Liam wanted to remember this night for the rest of his life.

The couple took several steps backward until the backs of Buffy’s knees connected with Liam’s bed. She was forced to sit down, then scooch further back until her boyfriend knelt on the mattress, straddling her with his knees. She sensed the change in him from their previous encounters. Something was going to happen if they didn’t stop very soon.

“We should stop,” she told him, pushing weakly on his shoulders. “Spike - Spike could walk in any minute.”

Liam peppered kisses along her cheek until he reached her left earlobe, nibbling gently on it. “Not gonna happen,” he whispered.

Buffy was almost beyond thought; she love dit when he did that. “What did you say?”

“Spike’s not coming back tonight,” Liam informed her, lifting his head up to look in her green eyes. Mentally, he prepared himself for rejection.

“He’s not?”

“Nope. We have this place all to ourselves until tomorrow morning. How do you feel about that?” he wanted to know.

“I feel pretty good about it.” She looked in his brown eyes and realized what was going on in her boyfriend’s mind. “Liam, did you plan this?”

He swallowed. Hard. And it burned because his throat was as dry as a bone. “Yes I did. I thought...with your father being out of town this weekend you might want to sleep over here tonight. Or, not sleep. That’s up to you.”

Buffy opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Her heart pounded, her blood raced through her veins. She thought she knew what her boyfriend was getting at, but wouldn’t let herself believe it until Liam said the words himself. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Depends on what you’re thinking.”

“You’re ready? You want to...”

Liam nodded, kissing her hungrily. “I want to.”

***

// Lift me up in your arms
If you told me that’s what heaven is, well you’d be right
I’ve been waiting forever for this
This is the night \\

Xander could not believe his bad luck. The night was getting progressively worse; he wished he’d shown more backbone when Willow and Buffy dragged him to the party. All he wanted to do was go home and curl up underneath the covers, listening to depressing music. But he was stuck at this party with a girl he didn’t care to spend another five minutes with, much less another three hours.

He groaned upon seeing the other person in the room and looked to the ceiling. “What did I do to deserve this?” he asked.

“Shut up, Xander,” Cordelia Chase retorted, sniffling loudly. “I’m *so* not in the mood for you and your stupidity right now.”

Xander raised his eyebrows at her comment before noticing the makeup smudged on her cheeks. Even though he didn’t care for Cordelia, he was concerned as to what had made her so upset. “Cordy? What happened?”

“Just go away.”

“No. Not until you tell me what happened.”

“Nothing,” she lied, wiping away her tears. The brown-haired girl stood up from the bench she was sitting on and started to make her way around him toward the door.

But Xander wasn’t about to let her go anywhere. “You’re crying. And I’m not letting you leave this room until you tell me what happened to make you cry. Don’t you dare say nothing because I’ll know you are lying,” he said.

Sighing heavily, Cordelia knew there was no way out of it. “My date took me upstairs and he tried to – he tried to...”

He waited anxiously for his classmate to continue. “He tried to what?”

“Tried to make me have sex with him!” she exploded, a fresh batch of tears streaming down her face.

For once in his life, Xander was virtually speechless. “Cordy, I–”

“Go ahead, say it! I know you want to. You’re probably brimming with excitement because Cordy finally got hers!”

“Look–”

Cordelia interrupted him once again. “What, no snappy comeback? Come on, Xander Harris, hit me with your best shot.”

He grabbed her hand and led her back to the bench. Too emotionally and physically drained to fight him, Cordelia simply let him sit her down. “I’m sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves that, not even you.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want your fake sympathy. Just leave me alone and go back to your party.”

“So you can do what? Wallow in your self-pity? Play the victim for all it’s worth? I am not going to let that happen. Stop pretending you are a cold, heartless, unfeeling bitch. Be human. Let it out.”

The brunette was prepared to slap him for what he’d just said. But one look in his concerned eyes and all desire to lash out at him washed away. For the first time in her life, Cordelia saw that Xander Harris actually cared about her feelings. “I don’t want to be cold and heartless.”

“Then stop acting like it.”

“I don’t know how to act any other way. I’m so alone, Xander. You don’t get it; nobody gets it. I can be in a crowded room, surrounded by my friends and still be completely alone,” she whimpered.

“So let someone in,” he suggested.

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound.”

He shrugged. “Make it that easy.”

Biting her lip, Cordelia nodded in agreement. But then she remembered her date pawing at her clothes, and then she saw the rip in her skirt and felt hot tears burning her eyes. “I was so scared, Xander. He could have raped me. Or killed me.”

He put his arms around her, holding her close to him in hopes of comforting the frightened girl. “You’re fine.”

“Thank you.” Before she realized what she was doing, Cordelia’s lips were pressed against his.

***

// When the answer to all my dreams
Is as close as a touch away
Why am I here holding back what I’m trying to say? \\

Liam tried to remember everything Spike had told him Thursday night, but he could do nothing but draw a blank. His mind was so jumbled that he could barely tell up from down. Luckily he had enough wits about him to unzip Buffy’s dress, although he nearly forgot his own name the second he saw her stand before him in only her matching bra and underwear.

Their lips met; the kiss began slow but quickly progressed to passionate in record time. Buffy’s right hand found the back of his neck, her fingertips massaging his scalp all the while her palm kept his head in place. Her left hand busied itself by attempting to unbutton his shirt. Giving up, she brought her right hand down and yanked on the buttons, ripping the shirt open.

Her boyfriend was both frightened and aroused by her forcefulness. He could safely ascertain that whatever the night held, it wouldn’t be dull. Closing his eyes, he felt Buffy’s lips leave his and venture lower, and her hands laid flat on his bare chest, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. It fell into a heap on the floor, much in the way Buffy’s dress had.

Buffy didn’t want to waste a single moment. She couldn’t wait another minute to make love with Liam; she’d waited for nearly seventeen years and as far as she was concerned, that was enough of a wait. She wanted him inside of her now. So no sooner had she removed his shirt did she begin working on his pants. Pulling hard, Buffy forced the belt through its loops and threw it across the room. It landed on Spike’s bed.

“Hey, slow down,” Liam told her. “We have all night. Don’t you want to remember this moment?”

Hearing his words brought her back to earth. She’d almost forgotten this wasn’t about only her. It was Liam’s first time. Of course, they had to slow down. “I’m sorry,” Buffy apologized. “I forgot.”

“It’s not that I don’t love your enthusiasm, Buffy, but I sorta want to make this moment last. Is that okay with you?”

She nodded her head. “Take all the time you need.”

“Just promise me something before we go any further,” he began. “Promise me if I do something wrong you’ll tell me. Or if I do something you don’t like. Or–”

Buffy touched his cheek. “Do whatever you feel comfortable doing. This isn’t a competition, this is about the two of us showing each other how much we love one another. There is no right or wrong tonight.”

“That makes sense.”

“I know it does.”

Instead of kissing her boyfriend’s lips, she started at his shoulder and kissed along it until she reached his collarbone. There she left open-mouth kisses on the skin. Scraping her fingernails across his taut abdominal muscles, Buffy brought her hands to the waistband of his pants and undid them. They slid off his waist and Liam stepped out of them, bending down to remove his shoes and socks.

While Buffy had had it relatively easy in removing his clothes, Liam came across some difficulty. He’d seen movies where guys unclasped a woman’s bra with ease, but it wasn’t the case for him. He struggled with it to the point where he was close to ripping it off of her body. And to make matters worse, he could hear Buffy’s giggles as she kissed his chest. Never in his life had he been so embarrassed. After what seemed like an eternity he got it off.

Liam put his hands on either side of her waist and lifted her off the ground. Buffy took the opportunity to wrap her legs around him, feeling his erection poking her buttocks. At that precise moment it sunk in that they were finally going to make love. There would be not turning back now.

Gently, he placed Buffy on the bed and attacked her lips as he pushed her back against the mattress. His tongue slipped between her teeth and probed the inside of her mouth, a prelude of what was to come. His hands found her panties and pulled them down her legs until she was naked beneath him. Then he debated what to do next.

But his girlfriend made the decision for him. She took his hand in hers and pressed it against her breast. At first he cupped it gently as he had always done in the past. Slowly he began to kneed it until the nipple pebbled under his palm. Lowering his head, he took it between his lips and suckled like a newborn.

Buffy was in heaven. Though her sexual experience was limited to her one night with Parker Abrams, she knew there was no basis for comparison between him and Liam. Everything Parker had done to her had been done out of lust. But with her boyfriend, it was done out of love. He may not have had the expertise Parker possessed, but he knew innately what she needed.

After lavishing the same attention on her other breast, Liam slipped off his boxer shorts and laid on the bed next to his girlfriend. “Are you ready?” he asked her.

“Totally ready. You?”

“Yeah.”

Reaching inside his nightstand drawer, he pulled out the box of condoms Spike gave him. Trying his best not to let Buffy see his shaking hands, he opened the box and grabbed the first condom he found inside. Just as he was about to unwrap it, Buffy put her hand over his.

“Let me do it.”

Shocked, he let her take it out of his hand and watched as she ripped the plastic packaging. Liam sat up when she did, waiting for Buffy to put it on his erect member. But she didn’t, at least not at first. She brought her hand to it and stroked up and down. He’d never felt anything so good in his life as her touching him, so he closed his eyes and let her continue. That is until he felt her hand being replaced by her mouth.

Buffy wanted to make his first time special, so she pulled out all the stops. She’d read enough romance novels to know what a man liked, and she decided to put that knowledge to good use. Swirling her tongue around him, she spent close to a minute giving him her very first blowjob. When she finished, she put the condom on his slick penis, doing it agonizingly slow to drive him out of his mind.

It worked. Liam was panting and sweat glistened on his chest. They hadn’t even made love yet and he was practically spent. “How...in the world...did you learn to do that?”

“I wanted to try it. My first time, did I do okay?” she asked.

“Oh yeah..”

Following her back to the mattress, he braced himself with his arms on either side of Buffy’s shoulders. She spread her legs, feeling the tip of his erection teasing her lower lips. Reaching her hands up, she ran them from the back of his neck to his upper arms. “Whenever you’re ready, Liam. Take your time,” she told him.

Slowly, he began to push his way inside of her. It was the strangest thing he’d ever experienced, but also the most wonderful. His eyes never left Buffy’s face, gauging her expression with every inch he pushed further inside of her. He stopped dead when he saw her face fill with pain.

“Oh my god. Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head vigorously. “No. It just hurts for a second. Keep going.”

“Buffy–”

Not wanting to hear him argue with her, Buffy grabbed his buttocks and pushed down on them as hard as she could, at the same time thrusting her hips upward. She cried out at the invasion, but loved the feeling of having all of him inside of her. She and Liam were finally one. “Perfect,” she moaned.

Liam brought his head down and kissed her hard, exiting her body and pushing himself back in until they found a rhythm they both enjoyed. He didn’t want to push too fast or too hard, so he let Buffy set the pace. Next time he’d do things his way, he promised himself. If the moans coming from his girlfriend were any indication, their lovemaking would be nothing short of intense.

“Harder,” Buffy ordered him, close to the edge. Liam had been gentle and considerate so far, which she loved. But with her orgasm fast approaching, she needed him to be a little more forceful.

Doing as she requested, Liam thrust himself home as hard as he could without hurting her. It put enough pressure on her clit to send his girlfriend immediately into her orgasm. He watched in awe as she spasmed under him and around him, calling his name over and over again while bucking her hips up to meet him. Not letting up on his thrusts, he sent her into another peak thirty seconds later. This time, though he joined her, milking his climax for all it was worth.

When they finally calmed down and were able to catch their breaths, Liam smiled down at his love. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.”

“That was beyond amazing. It was mind-blowing.”

Feeling himself growing soft, he pulled himself out of Buffy’s body. Then he scooped her into his arms. “I love you, Buffy Summers.”

“I love you, too, Liam O’Neal. And I’m glad you made me wait. This was absolutely perfect.”

***

51

// Lift me up
In your arms
If you told me that is what heaven is, well you’d be right \\

“Well?” Spike began late the next morning when he returned to the dorm room he shared with Liam. “How did last night go between you and Fluffy?”

Liam rolled his eyes at the Englishman’s nickname for Buffy. It didn’t matter how many times he corrected him, Spike continued to call her by that name. “It went well.”

The bleached-blonde man made a face. “‘It went well’? We’re not talking about a bloody business meeting, we’re talking about sex. And your first time, at that! You must have a better adjective than that.”

“I don’t want to go into gory detail with you,” he defended himself. “It’s very private, just between me and Buffy.”

“You don’t have to give me all the details, just *some* of them,” Spike pleaded. “After everything I told you; all the tips I gave you, you owe me that much.”

Shutting his eyes, the brunette gave in. “All right. It was great. But a part of me is glad it’s finally over.”

“Don’t tell that to Blondie. She might not like hearing that. To tell you the truth, no woman likes hearing a man say that.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. The experience itself was wonderful. I’m just happy to have finally done it. Do you understand what I mean?”

Spike nodded his head. “Yeah, I get it. The pressure is off.”

“Exactly! It’s like Buffy and I can move forward to the next level in our relationship. We reached the hurdle and cleared it. I guess I’d equate it to jumping off a cliff and reaching the bottom without splattering into a million pieces.”

“You’re comparing the loss of your virginity to suicide?” questioned Spike. “That’s a lovely analogy.”

Liam groaned. “Ugh! That’s not what I meant at all. It-It’s hard to explain. The act itself...god, I love every second of it, but the before was scarier than anything I’d ever done in my entire life.”

“Man, I wish I *had* set up my video camera.”

“You’re sick.”

“Come on, tell me how it went down.”

Taking a deep breath, he recalled the events of the previous night. “We left the party around nine o’clock and came back here. Buffy had absolutely no clue what I had planned, which made everything so much better. The look on her face when she figured out we were going to sleep together was like a little kid’s face on Christmas morning. She just lit up.”

“And how did it go? Did you do everything I told you to do?”

He shook his head. “Okay, Spike, we only did it once, so I didn’t get to do *everything* you told me to do. Half the stuff you told me about I would never be able to do in a million years!”

Spike smiled wickedly. “Never say never. Do it with the chippy a few more times and you’ll grow the balls to do just about anything. And she’ll beg for more, guaranteed. Now gimme the bloody details.”

“I told you before, I am *not* giving you details. That’s private and between me and Buffy.”

“Liam O’Neal, you are a sodding party pooper,” the blonde whined. “Don’t I deserve some sort of compensation for helping you out?”

“What do you want to do, watch us next time?”

“Now there’s an idea!”

Liam shook his head. “How about not? All I will tell you is that everything went smoothly. No major problems to speak of.”

“Would Blondie agree with that statement?” he wanted to know.

“Buffy had no complaints whatsoever. I have to admit – which does embarrass me a little – that she did have to tell me what to do at certain points. I was so afraid of hurting her in the beginning, I just stopped dead. But then she...she–”

“She what?” he prodded.

“Grabbed me and...”

Spike sighed. His roommate was embarrassed, he understood that. But he needed to get over his annoying shyness when discussing sex. “And what?”

“Do I really have to say it?”

“Yes!”

“She grabbed my ass and pushed me all the way inside of her.” ‘O god, did I just admit that to Spike?’

He laughed. “Way to go, Fluffy. At least one of you has a pair. You really gotta loosen up; you’re way too stiff.”

“I am not stiff!” Liam argued.

“If you can’t talk openly with me about sex, you’re not gonna be able to talk to her. And you’ll need to talk about it with Blondie sooner or later. Try it tonight. You *are* seeing her tonight, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. She’s gonna be at my mom’s house for dinner.”

“Do it then. Well, not then, but when you’re alone. You’ll feel better after you finally lighten up. You’re eighteen, talking openly about sex is not the end of the world,” Spike informed him.

***

// Hold me close to your heart
I would go with you to the ends of the earth and we’ll fly
I’ve been waiting forever for this
This is the night \\

“How are your classes going?” Mrs. Rosenberg asked her son at dinner the next night. The Rosenberg family, including Buffy, sat at the dining room table enjoying homemade vegetable lasagna.

Liam swallowed the forkful of lasagna he’d just put in his mouth. “So far so good. There’s a lot of reading. I’ve been spending more time in my dorm room studying than I have been going out with everyone. For the life of me I can’t understand how people can go and party all night and still show up prepared for class in the morning. It boggles my mind.”

“Well, you just keep concentrating on your studies and leave the partying to them,” his stepfather told him. “I can’t tell you how many students I fail each semester because of excessive partying.”

“Don’t worry, Ira. I’ve never been a big partier.”

From across the table, Buffy took a sip of her water and slipped her shoe off. Stretching her right leg out, she found her boyfriend’s leg and slid her foot inside his pant leg. She’d been thinking about him all day long, and about how wonderful the pervious night had been. It took nearly all of her willpower to keep from dragging him up the stairs to his bedroom and riding him until they were both spent.

Liam did his best to ignore the fact that his girlfriend was rubbing her bare foot up and down his leg. Especially when it felt so damn good. If he didn’t have her soon, he’d burst.

“Liam?” his mother repeated. “Did you hear me?”

He jerked to attention. “I’m sorry, Mom. What did you say?”

“I asked if you had a good time at the party last night. Willow said it was fun.”

“Yeah, it was a good time had by all,” he answered.

His sister gazed at him suspiciously. Something was amiss with him, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. “You and Buffy left kinda early, didn’t you? I didn’t see you when the Dingoes played their second set.”

“We took a walk,” Buffy replied. “It was getting really stuffy in the house and I couldn’t breathe.”

She nodded. “Oh, okay. Come to think of it, Xander left pretty early, too.”

“Maybe he and Kate hooked up,” Liam surmised.

“No, I don’t think so. She was still at the party long after Xander left. And I tried calling him this morning but he didn’t answer his phone.”

“I’m sure he’s just tired, Will,” Buffy said. Feeling brave, she removed her foot from inside her boyfriend’s pants and lifted it higher until it was pressed against his penis.

Liam practically jumped out of his chair when he felt her foot stroking his manhood. Gazing at her across the table, he saw Buffy run her finger across her plate and smear sauce around it. Then she put her finger in her mouth. He knew what she was telling him, and he wanted dinner to be over right then and there.

“Are you okay?” Mr. Rosenberg asked him.

“I’m fine. I just had a-a cramp in my leg, that’s all,” he lied.

Willow didn’t buy it for a minute. Looking from her best friend to her half-brother, she had a pretty good idea what was going on.

***

// This is the night where we capture forever
And all our tomorrows begin
After tonight we will never be lonely again \\

“You are evil, do you know that?” Liam chastised Buffy as they walked back to her house after dinner.

The blonde smiled evilly. Her ministrations over dinner had their desired effect on him. “You seemed to be enjoying it at the time. Don’t be such a prude.”

“I’m not being a prude, Buffy. My mother or Ira could have seen you doing that. Or even Willow.”

She didn’t get it. “Are you ashamed?” she asked.

Liam shook his head as his girlfriend opened the front door to let them inside. “No, not at all. What we do when we’re alone is our business, not theirs. I don’t want to make a spectacle of our private relationship.”

Buffy closed the door behind them. Looking in his eyes, she pouted. “You mean I can’t take out a full-page ad in the newspaper saying that last night was the best night of my life? Or that you are the kindest, gentlest, most considerate lover on the face of the planet?”

“No!” He let her words sink in. “You mean that?”

“Every word.” She pushed him against the door and began to pull off his polo shirt.

“What are you doing?”

She laughed. “What do you think I’m doing? I want you. Right now.”

“We’re in the hallway,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, I know that.” Once she got Liam’s shirt over his head, she unbuttoned her own blouse and started pulling off her pants. “Unfortunately, I’m not very patient at the moment. The hallway will just have to do for now.”

“But what about...I don’t have–”

Reaching into her pants pocket, Buffy pulled out a condom. “I stole it from your box while you were in the bathroom this morning. Now, do you have any more flimsy excuses or are you doing to make love to me?”

Pulling his girlfriend into a passionate kiss, the two fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

***

52

// Lift me up
In your arms
If you told me that is what heaven is, well you’d be right \\

When Willow entered the school building Monday morning, she made a beeline for her best friend’s locker. She had questions about what she had seen at dinner the night before. As luck would have it, Buffy was pulling her books from her locker as Willow walked up. And she was alone.

“Hi, Buffy,” the redhead greeted.

Buffy glanced up and saw her best friend standing to her right. “Hey, Wills. Did you ever get a hold of Xander last night? I tried after Liam left my house but his phone just rang and rang.”

“No, I didn’t get to talk to him. I’ll see him in English today. Hopefully we’ll talk then.” She took a deep breath. “If I ask you a question, would you give me an honest answer?”

“You know I would. Have I ever lied to you?”

She shook her head. “Never. Okay, I’m going to ignore the fact that Liam is my brother while I ask you this and just ask. Buffy, are you sleeping with him?”

The books Buffy held nearly slipped out of her hands. “Willow...”

“Don’t. Just answer me.”

Buffy couldn’t look her friend in the eye. She was full of embarrassment; she wasn’t having this conversation with her best friend anymore, but with her boyfriend’s sister. “Yes, I am.”

“How long?”

“Since Saturday night.”

Her answer only confirmed what Willow had already suspected. “That’s why you guys left the party so early. So you two could...” She had a hard time finishing the sentence. It was her brother and best friend, for god’s sake!

“I didn’t know, I swear,” the blonde tried to explain. From the way Willow was acting, Buffy was afraid she was upset with her. “He asked me if I wanted to leave and hang out in his room for a little while. It wasn’t until we were alone in his room that I figured it out.”

“I wasn’t asking you to defend yourself,” Willow said. “And you don’t have to explain it to me, either.”

Buffy knit her eyebrows together. “Then why are you asking?”

“Because I saw the way you and Liam were looking at each other last night at dinner. I just needed you to confirm what I pretty much already knew.”

“You’re not mad at me, are you?”

Once again, Willow shook her head. “No. You’re my best friend, and he’s my big brother. I always wanted you two to get together; it’s just a little weird knowing how...together you really are. But as long as you’re happy...”

“I am,” Buffy responded. “He makes me so happy.”

“Good. Now I’m gonna go back into concerned sister mode and tell you not to hurt him. ‘Cause if you do, I *will* have to kill you,” she threatened.

She laughed. “Got it.”

They both watched as Xander passed wordlessly by the two of them. Even when they’d had fights he never ignored them; he’d always have to make some sort of sarcastic comment.

“Xander?” Willow called after him.

He stopped and turned around when he heard his name being called. For the past thirty-six hours he had been in a world of his own. The events of the party Saturday night left him completely confused. Seeing Buffy and Willow looking expectantly at him brought him back to reality.

“Hi, guys,” he replied, joining them at the locker.

“Are you okay, Xand?” the blonde female wanted to know.

Xander nodded. “Peachy keen, whatever that means.”

“How come you didn’t answer your phone yesterday?” Willow questioned. “I must have called you a hundred times. And you didn’t even say goodbye when you left Saturday night. I was worried.”

“So was I,” Buffy added.

‘That’s because I didn’t leave until long after you’d both left the party,’ he thought. He couldn’t tell them that, though. Both he and Cordelia had agreed never to mention what happened between them in the pantry room. “You guys looked like you were having fun. I didn’t want to bring you down.”

“What time did you leave?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Around nine or so.”

“That’s what time Liam and I left the party,” Buffy said. “You were still hanging out with Kate. What’s really going on, Xander?”

“Nothing.” Then he saw Cordelia walk by. “I have to go. I’m gonna be late for homeroom.”

Xander moved swiftly after the brunette beauty. When he was sure no one was looking he grabbed her arm and dragged her into the nearest empty classroom. “We need to talk, Cordy.”

Cordelia yanked her arm out of his grasp. “Don’t you ever grab me like that again, Xander Harris. Who the hell do you think you are?” she demanded.

“I’m the guy you spent most of Saturday night groping,” he answered. “We need to talk about what happened.”

“I thought we already talked about it. I was attacked, you kissed me, end of story.”

He could only stare at her in awe. “*I* kissed *you*? Are you out of your mind? *You* kissed *me* as I recall.”

“Whatever. Trust me, it’ll never happen again. It was only a momentary lapse in judgement.”

“No kidding,” Xander agreed.

“Excuse me?” she exclaimed. “What on earth do you have to complain about? Your reputation can only benefit from this...this mistake. I, on the other hand, will be the laughingstock of Sunnydale High if this gets out.”

He couldn’t believe her audacity. “I don’t recall you complaining at the time. But you don’t have to worry, I won’t tell anyone. Your precious reputation is still intact.”

Sickened by the sight of her, he walked out of the room, not seeing the tears forming in Cordelia’s brown eyes.

***

// Hold me close to your heart
I would go with you to the ends of the earth and we’ll fly
I’ve been waiting forever for this
This is the night \\

“It was weird waking up this morning without you there,” Buffy said to her boyfriend on the other end of the phone. “I got kinda used to it...Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. But I don’t think it’ll be happening again until Dad goes out of town for another business trip...Mmm, don’t tempt me.”

A knock at her bedroom door made her jump. “Liam, I gotta go. Dad’s home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow...I love you, too. Bye.” She hung up the phone. “Come in in, Dad.”

Mr. Summers opened the door, seeing his sixteen-year-old daughter laying on her stomach on the bed. As he entered, she sat up. “Hiya, honey. How was your weekend?”

“It was okay. Did your trip go well?” she asked.

He nodded. “I accomplished everything I needed to accomplish. Which is why I need to talk to you. I have some news.”

“News?” Panic gripped her heart. “You’re not sick, are you?”

“No, Buffy, nothing like that. See, this wasn’t solely a business trip. There were personal matters I needed to take care of,” he started.

Buffy bit her lip in confusion. “Dad, I don’t think I follow you.”

“There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it. I’ve accepted a position in my company’s New York office. That’s why I had to go on that trip; to buy a house. Sweetie, we’re moving to New York in six weeks.”

***

53

// When you called me up this morning
Told me about the new love you found
I said I’m happy for you
I’m really happy for you \\

Buffy couldn’t even blink, she was in such a state of shock. There was no way her father could be telling her the truth. He had to be kidding, he just had to be. It was a cruel joke. “No.”

Her father sighed solemnly and sat down next to her on the bed. “I’m afraid so. I know this comes as a surprise–”

“A surprise?!” she shouted. “A surprise is someone jumping out of a cake on your birthday. This is a life-changing event. And you just sprung it on me completely out of the blue.”

“Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you this way.”

“Then why are you? This is a joke, isn’t it? You’re trying to trick me; scare me. Good job, Dad. High marks.”

Mr. Summers shook his head. If only it was a joke. But it wasn’t. “It’s not a joke, I am one hundred percent serious. The company offered me a promotion and a significant raise in exchange for heading up their Buffalo office. I think the move will be good for both of us.”

Buffy let it all sink in. They were moving. She’d lived in Sunnydale – hell, in her house – for her entire life. Now they were moving three thousand miles away. “Why? Why would it be good for me? It’ll uproot my whole life. I love it here; everyone I care about is in Sunnydale, how can you make me leave? I’m not going to know anyone in Buffalo.”

“Buffy, you’ll make new friends. It won’t be that hard, I’m sure of it. And you will know people. Your aunt Meredith and her family live only a couple miles from the house I bought.”

It all suddenly made sense. “I get it,” she said. “Aunt Psychopath talked you into this.”

“No she didn’t. Granted, yes, we did discuss this shortly after your mother passed away, but she didn’t make this decision for me.”

“Dad, you don’t see it like I do. She wants to get us as far away from anything Mom-related as possible. Aunt Meredith always hated Mom and this is her way of separating you from her. Now she can have you all to herself like some sick, twisted Greek tragedy. Ever hear of Oedipus? Well, it’s as bad as that. It’s...it’s incestuous!”

“Don’t speak that way about your aunt. She loves you.”

Buffy got off the bed. The whole situation was making her agitated. “She wants to control me. Well, I won’t let her. Aunt Meredith is not going to ruin my life.”

Mr. Summers knew his teenage daughter was going to be upset, but she was overreacting. “This move is *not* going to ruin your life.”

“Yes it is! How come you don’t see it? My life is finally falling into place. My grades are improving, I actually enjoy my classes this year and I am dating the boy I’ve loved forever. And now you want to take all that away from me. Why do you hate me?” she demanded to know.

“You know I love you. I’m doing this because I love you.”

“If you loved me you wouldn’t be doing this!” Buffy accused. “Dad, how can you make this decision without talking to me about it first? It’s not just your life; it’s my life you are fucking with!”

He fumed. “You are not to use that language around me ever again. And I didn’t talk to you about it because I knew what you’d say. I’m the parent here, Buffy. I make the decisions, not you.” It was time to assert his parental control.

“I won’t go.”

“You bet your sweet ass you will.”

She shook in anger, knowing her father was right and that she didn’t have any choice. Wherever he went, she would have to go, too. “I hate you. I hate you!” Turning on her heel, she ran out of the room.

Hearing the front door slam shut ten seconds later, Mr. Summers flinched. He silently wondered if he was making the right decision. But when he noticed the empty condom package in his daughter’s wastebasket, he knew he’d done the right thing. Moving to New York was just what they needed to move forward.

***

// Found someone else
Guess I won’t be coming around
I guess it’s over, baby
It’s really over, baby \\

“Spike, can you get the door?” Liam asked when he heard pounding on their dorm room door. “It’s probably one of your girlfriends anyway.”

Rolling his eyes, Spike climbed off the bed and headed for the door. Who he found on the other side surprised even him. Buffy stood in her tank top and shorts, her feet bare. And she was struggling to catch her breath. “Wrong, Peaches,” he replied. “It’s yours.”

Liam turned around; one look at his girlfriend and worry coursed through his entire body. “Buffy, what happened?” He ran to her side once he saw the tears falling down her beautiful face.

Spike sensed the couple needed their privacy and quietly slipped out of the room.

“I’m sorry f-for not calling first,” she apologized, hiccuping.

He took her hands in his and led her to his bed, where they both sat down. “It’s okay. What’s wrong?”

“I–” The words wouldn’t come out, though. Nothing would come out.

Liam saw her bare feet and wondered where she had been. “Did someone attack you? Are you hurt?”

She shook her head. “No. N-Nothing like that. I ran all the way from my h-house. But it won’t be my house for much longer.”

“What are you talking about?” He was genuinely confused.

Closing her eyes, Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m moving to New York. With my dad. Next month.”

“What?”

The blonde nodded. “Yeah, I know. That’s why my dad went away this weekend, to buy a house for us. Liam, he didn’t even ask me what I thought about it, he just blurted out that we’re moving to the other side of the country in six weeks.”

“And you don’t want to go,” he deduced.

“Of course I don’t! I don’t want to leave my friends and my school. And I sure as hell don’t want to leave you. Especially not now. You have to help me talk my dad out of moving.”

He held her tight, fully realizing that these moments would be fleeting. In six weeks he wouldn’t be able to see his girlfriend anytime he wanted. The realization nearly brought him to tears as well. “I don’t think we can talk him out of it, Buffy. Sounds like the decision has already been made.”

“No. We can change his mind,” she said stubbornly.

“I doubt it. Look, I don’t want to sound pessimistic or anything, but I don’t think there is anything we can do at this point. I don’t want you to move away any more than you want to go, but that’s not our decision to make. The truth is, you have to go wherever your father goes.”

Buffy sniffled. “I don’t want to leave you. If I do, I’ll lose you.”

He looked her in the eye, seeing his reflection in her glassy tears. “Listen to me, Buffy. You will not lose me. Not now, not ever. I will be right here,” Liam swore.

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

***

54

// And from what you said
I know you’ve gotten over me
It’ll never be the way it used to be \\

“I’ve done everything you asked me to do,” Meredith told her older brother five weeks later as they spoke on the telephone. “The phone, cable, heat and electricity have all been turned on as of yesterday. And I stocked the refrigerator with all the basic necessities.”

“I can’t thank you enough for all of your help,” Mr. Summers said. “You’ve been a godsend through this whole move. It’s really making it easier.”

“Anything to help you out, Hank. You know I’m here for you, and I’m thrilled beyond words that you’re going to be nearby again. What time is your flight arriving on Monday? I want to meet you and Buffy at the airport.”

Mr. Summers needed to think for a moment. He and Buffy were leaving for Buffalo in three days and things were starting to get rather stressful. “I want to say two-thirty, but don’t quote me yet. I’ll give you a call on Sunday night and let you know for sure.”

“Are you almost finished packing?” she wanted to know.

“I am. Buffy, on the other hand, hasn’t even started.”

Meredith sighed heavily. “Is she still fighting you about the move?”

“Every chance she gets.”

“You need to lay down the law, Hank. Buffy needs to realize she can’t always get her own way. Joyce may have allowed her to walk all over you guys, but you’re the only parent Buffy has now. Tell her it’s your way or no way.”

He shook his head. “She’s not a bad kid; far from it, in fact. In my mind, she has every right to be angry about leaving. I *did* spring it on her out of the blue.”

“And she has had five weeks to accept the fact, yet she’s still resisting. Force her to get over it.”

“Buffy doesn’t want to leave her friends or her school or her boyfriend.”

Meredith scoffed at the mention of the word ‘boyfriend.’ “Please. At her age, she’ll get over it; they’re only teenagers. It isn’t like they plan on spending the rest of their lives with one another. Who meets the love of their life at sixteen?”

“I did.” Mr. Summers recalled how he fell in love with Joyce Masterson when he crashed her Sweet Sixteen party.

“Okay, aside from you. Look, Hank, I think it’s a good idea to separate them before they do anything stupid. Like...sleep together.”

“It’s a little late for that, I think,” he mumbled.

“How do you know that?” she questioned. “Did Buffy tell you?”

The forty-three-year-old man closed his eyes, a headache forming behind them. “She didn’t have to tell me, Meredith. I found an empty condom wrapper a few weeks back. And since it wasn’t mine, I assumed they used what was inside while I was away that weekend.”

“Did you ground her?” Meredith asked.

“No.”

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s not like grounding her would have made a difference or change what happened while I was gone. They had sex. At least I can take comfort in knowing they used protection.”

She was absolutely disgusted with her niece’s behavior, and her brother’s reaction to it. “How can you act so nonchalant about this? Your sixteen-year-old daughter is having sex and you are treating it like it’s no big deal!”

“Because I know my little girl. She’s had sex before and she’ll no doubt have sex again. I trust her. Joyce and I have talked to her about it and we both agreed to let Buffy make her own choices.”

“You mean mistakes,” Meredith corrected him.

“As much as I appreciate your concern when it comes to my daughter, I’d like you to stay out of it,” he ordered her. “I’ll raise Buffy as I see fit. End of discussion.”

***

// So if it’s got to be this way
Don’t worry, baby
I can take the news okay \\

“I just can’t believe you’re leaving on Monday,” Willow said to her best friend that evening at the Bronze. “It only seems like yesterday you told us you were moving.”

Buffy nodded, feeling her boyfriend take her hand in his. Liam had been her rock over the past five-and-a-half weeks. If it hadn’t been for him she probably would have gone crazy. “Yeah, tell me about it. I don’t want to go, I really don’t. Hell, I haven’t even started packing yet.”

“You haven’t?” the redhead asked incredulously. “I thought you were going to start doing that last weekend.”

“I was. But then I just couldn’t force myself to do it. Every time I picked up a box I ended up dropping it back on the ground again. I keep thinking about how hard it is gonna be to not see you guys every day. Or talk on the phone. How am I going to keep up with all the gossip?”

Willow frowned. “I know. But we’ll still talk all the time.”

Buffy shook her head, resting it on Liam’s shoulder. “It’s not the same, you know? I won’t be there. And eventually everyone will forget about me. You know, like that old saying – out of sight, out of mind.”

“Hey, Buff, we won’t forget you,” Xander reassured her. “You’ll always be in the back of ours minds.”

Underneath the table, Liam kicked him. “That wasn’t supportive,” he growled.

“Sorry. Okay, I’m getting something to drink before my ass gets kicked. Anybody want anything?” he asked the other three people at the table. He was responded with a round of ‘no’s.

As he walked towards the refreshment stand, Xander thought about what Buffy was going through. He doubted he would have the strength she’d shown throughout this whole ordeal. If he’d been in her position, he probably would have cracked under the pressure. And even though he knew how deeply Buffy and Liam loved each other, he wondered if their relationship could survive the three thousand mile gap between them. He and Anya weren’t able to make it work at even less of a distance.

Lost in his thoughts, he never saw Harmony Kendall and Cordelia step directly in front of him until he bumped into the blonde.

“Excuse you!” she exclaimed, annoyed. “God, where did you learn how to walk? Clown college?”

With a roll of his eyes, Xander ignored her and walked on by. He didn’t even attempt to make eye contact with Cordelia.

“What a jerk,” Harmony commented. “Who does he think he is, anyway? A nobody, that’s who. A big fat nobody who can’t even get a date.”

“Harmony, shut up,” Cordelia stated.

She was taken aback by her friend’s outburst. “What’s your problem, Cordy? The oaf walked right into me without even saying he’s sorry. He *is* a jerk.”

Cordelia shook her head. She’d had a lot of time to think about her conflicted feelings for Xander Harris and it was time to face them. “No, he’s not. He’s kind and considerate and...and a great kisser!”

“And you know this how?”

“Because I kissed him.”

“He’s a reject!”

“Don’t you even start! Or do I need to remind you of your encounter with Parker Abrams? This may come as a shock to you, but I like Xander. A lot. I can be myself around him; I can’t do that around you.”

“Then go be with him!” Harmony shouted.

“Fine, I will.”

Cordelia walked in the direction of the refreshment counter. When she found Xander in the long line, she tapped him on the shoulder. As soon as he turned around, the brunette planted a kiss on his lips.

“What was that for?” he asked when they finally came up for air.

“For coming to my rescue at the party. And for making me see how wrong I’ve been about you. Go with me to Homecoming next week.”

“Huh?” Xander didn’t know if he’d heard her correctly.

“You and me. Homecoming. Is it a date?”

“People will see us. It might ruin your precious reputation,” he reminded her.

“Screw my reputation. I want to walk in there with you on my arm. So, is it a date? Yes or no?”

Slowly, he nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

She flashed him a smile. “Great. I’ll call you this weekend with the details.”

As Cordelia walked away, Xander’s mind raced. Was he imagining things, or had Cordelia Chase asked him out on a real date?

***

55

When she returned home from the Bronze at eleven-thirty that evening, Buffy was surprised to find her father in her bedroom. He stood next to her window, a box full of framed pictures to his right. “Dad? What are you doing?” she asked him.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Mr. Summers countered, not even bothering to turn around. “I’m packing some of your things.”

“Yeah, I figured that much. What I don’t get is why you are doing it.”

“Because *you* don’t seem to be doing it. I don’t know how many times I’ve asked you to start packing. But you haven’t. So I’ve taken it upon myself to start for you.”

“I’m gonna do it,” Buffy argued.

Mr. Summers turned around to face her. “When?!” he shouted. “You’ve had close to six weeks, yet I haven’t seen you do a damn thing. Well, I am sick of it. Now I’m doing it for you.”

“Dad–”

“Buffy, I do not want to hear it. I just got off the phone with your aunt Meredith and we both agree it’s time for me to act like a parent. I’ve allowed you to put this off for far too long.”

“You talked to Aunt Meredith about me? How could you?” she accused.

“She was concerned.”

Buffy frowned. “Nosy is more like it.”

Aggravated with his daughter’s attitude, Mr. Summers let the picture he’d been holding fall to the ground. The glass cracked upon impact. “That’s enough! I’ve had it up to here with your constant arguing. You are not leaving this house until you pack everything in this room. I mean it.”

“You can’t do that, it’s not fair!” Buffy yelled back at him. “I have plans tomorrow with Liam. We’re spending the day together.”

“At this point in time, I don’t particularly care what your plans are, Buffy. Tomorrow you will be packing. We leave for New York in a little more than forty-eight hours. Get a move on.”

“I hate you,” the teenager spat. “Mom would never have done this to me.”

“Your mother is dead.” When he saw the stricken look on his daughter’s face, Mr. Summers instantly regretted his words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

Buffy took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna move, Dad. Sunnydale is my home. Everyone I care about is here. I can’t leave them. I don’t want to.”

He walked over and took her in his arms. “I know you don’t. But you’re making it seem like you are never going to see your friends again. You can visit Sunnydale whenever you want. Well, within reason, that is. I’ll talk to the Rosenbergs and see if they’ll let you stay with them for a week during Christmas break. How does that sound?”

“It sounds okay. But what about tomorrow? Liam and I already made plans.”

“I’ll make you a deal. You can spend all afternoon with Liam, I’m fine with that. But you have to pack in the morning before you go, and again when you get back. And all day Sunday. Are you okay with that?” Mr. Summers suggested.

She nodded. “It’s a deal.”

***

“You went to way too much trouble,” Buffy commented as her boyfriend pulled the sandwiches out of the basket. The couple sat on a blanket in a secluded section of Weatherly Park where they wouldn’t be interrupted.

“It’s no trouble at all. This is probably one of the last times we’ll have to be alone for a long time. Why not do something special,” Liam said.

She looked to the left, seeing a portable radio on the edge of the blanket. “What’s with the boombox? Mood music?”

“After we are done eating, we could listen to some music. Or dance.”

“I like the sound of that.”

The couple began to dig into their sandwiches. Liam had packed turkey on wheat with lettuce, tomato and mayo for both of them, along with potato chips and cans of soda. They ate in silence for a little while before Liam began to speak.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. “You seem awfully quiet.”

“Sorry,” Buffy apologized. “I guess I’m still a bit upset with my father. He absolutely refuses to let me go out tomorrow. I can’t even say goodbye to my friends.”

“I think you’re exaggerating just slightly. Your father isn’t going to make you leave without saying goodbye.”

“He won’t even let me leave the house tomorrow until I pack my entire bedroom. It’s totally not fair,” Buffy complained.

“Well, he has a valid point. Buffy, you *have* had six weeks to pack and you haven’t even started yet.”

She widened her eyes at him. “I don’t believe this. You’re taking his side over mine!”

“This isn’t about sides. Truth of the matter is, you’ve been procrastinating,” Liam told her.

“No I haven’t. I’ve just been putting it off as long as possible.”

He smiled at her. “That’s what procrastinating is, sweetie. You know, this probably hasn’t been easy on your dad either. Maybe you should ease up on him a little bit.”

The blonde sighed in defeat. “I guess you’re right. I hate it when you’re right. It usually means I’m wrong.”

“You need to forget about this for a while.” He stood up and extended his hand to her. “Let’s dance.”

Smiling, Buffy took his hand and let him guide her a few feet away from the blanket. As they were heading over there, Liam pressed the PLAY button on the boombox he’d brought with him.

// Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can’t stop driving, I don’t know why
So many questions that need an answer
Two years of leaving still on my mind
Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
It’s true love just once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry? \\

Resting her head on his shoulder, feeling her boyfriend’s arms around her waist, Buffy discovered that Liam was right. She did need to stop stressing about the move. Instead, she wanted to focus on spending as much quality time with him as possible. They needed to savor every moment; to make this particular point in time last as long as long as they could.

// Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
Why I wasn’t meant for you \\

“You’re right,” Buffy whispered. “Again.”

“I am? Can I bottle this moment and relive it over and over again?” he joked.

“I’m being serious, Liam. You were right, what you said before. I did need to forget about this whole thing. Worrying about this move has been stressing me out for weeks.”

Liam looked down at his girlfriend, flashing her a half-smile. “Well, it’s good to see you coming around to my way of thinking. Certainly took you long enough.” “Yeah, whatever.”

// Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I’m speeding by the place that I met you
For the ninety-seventh time tonight \\

“Liam, I want you to promise me something,” Buffy started. “I mean really promise me.”

“As opposed to a fake promise?”

She frowned at his lame attempt at a joke. “It’s not funny. I’m being totally serious and you’re making a joke out of it.”

“All right, all right. What do you want me to promise you?”

“That we’ll be truthful with one another. No matter what, or how much it’ll hurt the other person,” she said.

// Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
That I wasn’t meant for you \\

“I don’t think I follow, Buffy. What exactly are you getting at?” he questioned.

She hesitated before beginning her explanation. “Just to be honest. Don’t lie because you think it’s what I want to hear. If you meet someone else, Liam, I want you to tell me. Please don’t keep it from me to spare my feelings. It’ll only hurt me more.”

“You’re afraid I’m going to fall in love with someone else?”

Buffy nodded. “Yes.”

// Someday we’ll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I’ll go dancing on the moon
Someday you’ll know
That I was the one for you \\

Liam lifted her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. “Well I won’t. I’m not going to fall in love with someone else. You’ve had my heart since I was a little boy and you’ll have it until the day I die. Nothing is going to change that.”

“We’re going to be three thousand miles apart. A lot can happen. I just don’t want you to hold yourself back if you do find someone else.”

“Very well then. I’m going to hold you to that same promise. If you meet someone in Buffalo and you want to be with him, I’ll expect you to be honest with me, too,” Liam agreed.

She nodded her head. “Okay. I just want you to know...in case I forget to tell you, or in case something happens, I love you. Forever.”

“I love you, too, Buffy. Forever.”

// I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren’t you here with me tonight?
Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
Why I wasn’t meant for you
Someday we’ll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I’ll go dancing on the moon
Someday you’ll know
That I was the one for you \\

***

56

// But if you see me walking by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away
Baby, look away \\

Mr. Summers lugged the last box down the stairs to the front hall on Sunday afternoon. The movers would be arriving in two hours. “Is that the last thing from your room, Buffy?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Everything else is going with me on the plane tomorrow.”

“Including him?” Her father picked up Mr. Gordo, who Buffy had rested on top of a sealed box containing her clothes.

“Especially him. I’m not going to run the risk of the movers doing something stupid, like drenching motor oil all over him.”

“Somehow, I don’t see that happening.”

“You never know, Dad. I don’t even want to think about what they’re gonna do to our stuff once it’s out of our sight.” Buffy shuddered at the thought.

He shook his head at her comment. “I bet they are just going to drive from Sunnydale to Buffalo. I very much doubt you have anything to worry about. Mr. Gordo will be completely safe.”

The teenager picked up the stuffed pig. “I’m not taking any chances. Mr. Gordo is like a member of the family.”

“All right, honey. You have your way. *Again.*”

She pouted. “If I’d had my way, we wouldn’t be moving to New York at all. And I’d get to go to Homecoming with all my friends next Saturday.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not. Don’t lie to me.”

Mr. Summers sighed heavily. “You’re making it out to be much worse than it is. This move isn’t going to be as bad as you think. In fact, you might even surprise yourself and enjoy it there. Stranger things have happened.”

“Doubtful. Don’t hold your breath, Dad.”

With a frown, her father decided to change the subject. “So, what did you and Liam do yesterday?” he wanted to know.

‘Finally, something I actually *want* to talk about,’ Buffy thought. “He packed a picnic lunch for us at Wetherly Park. We just spent our last day together, enjoying each other’s company.”

“That sounds nice. Did you guys do anything else?”

Buffy caught her father’s gaze, silently wondering what exactly he meant. “Um, what are you getting at?”

“I think you know what I mean.”

And she did. Though the implication threw her for a loop. “No, Dad, nothing else went on. We were in a public park, after all. What did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know. Possibly the same thing that happened when I went to Buffalo that weekend in September. I’m not stupid, Buffy. I know what went on in this house while I was gone.”

“How did...?”

He answered the question without needing to be asked. “I had my suspicions. Until I found an empty condom wrapper in your garbage right after I told you we were moving. Then I knew for a fact.”

“That was over a month ago. How come you are just bringing this up now?” she questioned.

“It never came up.”

“Oh, please!” Buffy scoffed. “You’re my father, you could have brought it up anytime you wanted. Why didn’t you? And why am I not grounded for life?”

“It’s called reverse psychology. If I’d gotten angry with you and grounded you, you would have thrown a hissy fit. Then you’d have run right to him and possibly do something really stupid. And I didn’t want to end up being the youngest grandfather on the block.”

Buffy shook her head. “You wouldn’t have. If it makes you feel any better, we’ve always been safe.”

“That does make me feel better. Thank you.”

“Dad, do you think it’s going to work?”

“What?”

She chewed on her lower lip. “Me and Liam. Yesterday, I told him that if it comes to it...if he wants to see other people, to tell me. Like, if he finds someone else while I’m gone. Or vice versa. We agreed to be honest with each other.”

“Sounds like a mature plan.”

“But do you think we’ll make it? Being three thousand miles away from each other.”

He smiled. “Honey, I have the utmost faith in you two. You and Liam remind me of your mother and I. I think you’ll make it.”

***

// And if we meet on the street someday
And I don’t know what to say
Look away
Baby, look away \\

“How was the flight from Sunnydale?” Meredith asked her older brother and niece on the drive to their new house. The two had arrived in New York half an hour earlier.

“Long,” Buffy complained from the back seat.

Mr. Summers rolled his eyes at his daughter. “We experienced a little bit of turbulence, but other than that it was rather uneventful. Thank you for picking us up at the airport, Meredith.”

“My pleasure. Anything you want, or need, I’m here for you.”

‘How about leaving?’ the teenager thought. ‘Will you go away if I beg you really, really hard?’ “Are we almost there yet?”

“Almost,” her aunt informed her. “Only a couple more miles. Have you seen the house yet, Buffy?”

“How could I?” she asked sarcastically. “I’ve never been here before. I guess you could call me a virgin. But not in the way you’d like, right, Aunt Meredith?”

“Buffy!” her father exclaimed.

Meredith shook her head, smirking. ‘Just like her mother. We’ll just have to change that.’ “It’s okay, Hank, she’s entitled to snap. This has been very stressful for her. She just has to get used to having me around all the time.”

“Lucky me.”

Buffy sat silently in the back seat, watching the scenery as it passed by. Though she’d never admit it to her father and aunt, seeing the trees with all their different colored leaves was a pretty sight. Autumn in Buffalo looked nothing like autumn in Sunnydale. It looked just like it did in all the movies she’d watched growing up. The changing of the seasons was truly something to behold.

Ten minutes later they pulled up to a brick ranch nestled in a quiet little cul-de-sac. It was significantly smaller than their old house. But even from the driveway she could see the pool in the backyard and the back patio. So far, it didn’t look too bad. She wouldn’t commit herself to an opinion until she saw the inside.

“This is it,” Mr. Summers announced. “Home sweet home.”

“Joy. Can I go inside and call Liam?” asked Buffy, stepping out of the car.

“No,” her aunt responded immediately.

“If you help us bring everything inside, you can call him after dinner,” her father told her.

Buffy shot her aunt a smug look. No way was she going to let her run her life. “Thank you, *Dad.* Which one is my room?”

Mr. Summers opened the door for them. “End of the hall. Last room on the right.”

After the teenager was out of hearing distance, Meredith turned to her brother. “What are you doing, Hank? You’re catering to her!”

“She has every right to call her boyfriend.”

She shook her head in disbelief; her brother just didn’t get it. “You have to know it won’t last between those two. She’s in Buffalo. That boy is in Sunnydale. *And* in college. It’ll only end in heartbreak.”

“We’ll see.”

“Hank–”

“Butt out, Meredith. Just butt out.”

***

57

// When we both decreed as lovers
We were better off as friends
That’s how it had to be
Yeah, that’s how it had to be \\

With a deep breath, Buffy prepared to walk through the double doors of her new high school. After spending Monday and all day Tuesday unpacking hers and her father’s belongings, she was finally starting her first day of school. And she was petrified. Not only did she not know where anything was, she didn’t know who anyone was. For the first time in her life, she was alone.

As she walked down the crowded hallway in search of the main office, people stared at her. Buffy could feel their eyes boring holes into her, scrutinizing her every move. It made her want to cry; made her want to run home and lock herself in her bedroom until her father allowed her to return to Sunnydale.

“Hey,” a voice to her left said, breaking the blonde out of her reverie. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

Buffy turned her head, seeing a friendly-looking dark-haired girl walking in step next to her. “Yeah. Is it that obvious?”

“Well, you do have that ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look all over your face. That kind of gave it away,” the girl told her, giving Buffy a half-smile.

“I didn’t even realize it. I just moved here on Monday. Today’s my first day and I don’t have a clue where I’m going. All I know is I need my class schedule.”

“Come on, I’ll show you where the office is. By the way, my name is Drusilla Campbell. You can call me Dru; everyone else does,” she introduced herself.

Buffy sighed with relief. Finally, someone friendly; Drusilla reminded her of Willow in a way. The girl immediately put her at ease. “I’m Buffy Summers. Unfortunately, you can call me Buffy.”

Drusilla laughed. “It’s not *that* bad. Where’d you move here from?” she questioned as they made their way down the hall.

“California. Sunnydale, actually. It’s a small town about two hours south of Los Angeles,” Buffy answered.

“Why would you ever leave California for Buffalo, New York? We’re the Great Frozen North. The only thing it ever does around here is snow and snow some more. And let me tell you, I’m not exaggerating.”

“I doubted you were. Moving here wasn’t my decision; I didn’t even get a say in the matter. My mom died over the summer and my dad decided we needed to put as much distance between Sunnydale and us as possible.”

Her heart went out to the new girl. “That must have been awful. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you. I just miss everyone like crazy, you know? I think what upset me the most was leaving my boyfriend. Things were finally starting to go our way. Do you know what I mean?”

Drusilla nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I think so. But it’s not so bad here once you get used to it.”

“I hope so. If not, it’s going to be a long two years.”

***

// I tell you I’m fine
But sometimes I just pretend
Wish you were holding me
Wish you were still holding me \\

“Are you sure you won’t come with us?” Willow asked her brother Saturday night. “I’ve got an extra ticket for you.”

Liam laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The last thing he wanted to do was go out and party. No, all he wanted to do was sit in his dorm room and spend the evening missing his girlfriend. “Thanks, but no thanks, Will. I don’t feel much like going out tonight.”

“You haven’t felt much like going out a lot lately. Heck, you haven’t set foot off campus since Buffy left on Monday morning,” she said. “I know you miss her, we all do. But you have to go out and live a little. That’s what she’d want you to do.”

“Are you telling me to forget about her?” he accused.

“No! Look, tonight’s Homecoming. Just come with us; you’ll have a lot of fun. Besides, you would have been there anyway if Buffy were still here.”

He frowned. “I’d feel weird being there without her. Go on and have fun without me. I expect details tomorrow morning.”

Willow sighed. She really felt bad for her half-brother. He was utterly heartbroken without Buffy. “All right, but if you change your mind you know where I’ll be.”

“I won’t change my mind. Have fun.”

As they were saying their goodbyes, Spike walked into the room. He rolled his eyes when he looked at his roommate. The expression on his face told Spike what – or who – was on Liam’s mind. “Bloody hell, you’ve got Buffy face. Again.”

“Shut up, Spike.”

“Was that her on the phone?”

Liam shook his head. “No, it was my sister. Tonight is Homecoming and she wanted me to go with the gang.”

“And by the look on your face, and the way you’re dressed, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’re not going.”

“Nah. I don’t feel like going out.”

“You can’t hide in your room forever, you know. Eventually you’ll have to leave. There’s a party tonight at one of the sorority houses. I’m going and you are coming with me.”

Liam sighed heavily. “No.”

“Okay, just so we’re clear, that wasn’t a request. It was an order. I’m sick and tired of seeing you mope around here all the time. Go put on something relatively clean and brush your goddamned teeth. I’m going to make you forget about Blondie for one night.”

“I’ll go,” he relented, not having it in him to fight. “But don’t expect me to have fun. Or to forget about Buffy.”

Spike smirked. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

***

They’d been at the party for an hour and Liam had said hardly a word to anyone since he’d arrived. He stood in a dark corner of the room by himself, ignoring everyone around him. Spike watched from a distance as at least six different girls walked up to him, only to leave with disappointed expressions on their faces.

He’d had it. His roommate needed to loosen up and he made it his mission in life to make sure he did. Making his way to the table where drinks were being served, he came up with an idea.

“Hey, man,” he greeted the bartender. “Gimme a rum and Coke.”

Less than a minute later he reached his roommate. “Here, Peaches,” Spike said, handing the drink to Liam. “Drink up.”

“What is it?”

“What does it look like? It’s Coke. You look thirsty. Must be all that brooding you’ve been doing since you got here. You know, it wouldn’t kill you to dance with one of them. Some of ‘em are major hotties.”

Liam took the drink from Spike and chugged some of it. “Not interested in them. Hell, I don’t even want to be here.”

“We’re not leaving until you stop brooding over Blondie. She’d want you to have fun and enjoy yourself. That’s what college is all about.” He smiled to himself when Liam drank the rest of the alcoholic beverage. “Want more?”

“I’ll get it.”

“Let me. You go out there and enjoy yourself. Experience what UC Sunnydale has to offer.” ‘Let the games begin.’

***

// I just never thought
That I would be replaced so soon
I wasn’t prepared
To hear those words from you \\

When Liam awoke the next morning he felt like a freight train was running through his head. He rubbed his eyes, trying to recall what had happened the night before, but couldn’t. The last thing he remembered was asking Spike to get him a third Coke; after that it was a complete blank.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” a sultry voice said from across the room.

For the first time, Liam realized he wasn’t in his own room. Looking to his right he found a blonde-haired girl he recognized from his Psychology class. “Where am I?”

“My room,” she answered.

“And you are...?”

“Darla Spencer. I’m not surprised you don’t remember, you were pretty trashed last night. You were doing shots of Crown like they were water.”

‘Oh shit, oh shit,’ he thought. “Did we...?”

Darla shook her head, sitting down on the other side of the bed. “Almost, but not quite. You passed out before we had a chance. So I tucked you in. If you notice, you’re still wearing your pants. But if you want to now, I wouldn’t object.”

“Thank god we didn’t.”

“Don’t sound so happy about it.”

Liam stood up and grabbed his shirt, which was lying on the edge of the bed. “I gotta get going.”

“So soon? You don’t want breakfast in bed?”

“No thanks.”

“Maybe we can go out sometime,” Darla suggested. “You know, finish what we started.”

“I don’t think so. I have a girlfriend. Thank you for being so honest with me, but I’ll be going now.” ‘I’m going to kill Spike,’ he told himself as he left Darla’s dorm room.

***

58

// I know I wanted to be free
Yeah, baby, this is how I wanted it to be \\

“Hi, Dad,” Buffy greeted her father when she returned home from her last day of school before Christmas break. She’d passed by his bedroom and saw him looking at himself in the mirror. “What are you doing?”

Mr. Summers adjusted the tie he had selected to wear around his neck. “I’m getting ready to go out.”

“So I noticed. Are you gonna be real late? I thought maybe we’d rent a movie and make some popcorn. You know, make it a father-daughter night in. Sound like a plan to you?” she wanted to know.

“No can do, kiddo. I’ll have to take a raincheck this time. I don’t know what time I’m going to be home. Why don’t you invite your new friend Drusilla over and watch some movies? I will leave money for you two to order a pizza and some chicken wings.”

Buffy nodded. “I can do that. So, what’s on tonight’s agenda? Big meeting?”

“Actually, I’m having dinner with Sierra McKenna,” her father answered.

“I see. Is she a new client of yours?”

He shook his head, thinking of the best way to tell his daughter what he had planned for the evening. “No, she’s not. Buffy, we’re going on a dinner date.”

“A dinner date?” she repeated. “As in, you pick her up, you drive to the restaurant, you eat, you pay for both meals and you kiss her goodnight on the front porch? That kind of date?”

“It’s just a casual dinner.”

Buffy was flabbergasted. “Casual? Yeah, I can tell by the way you’re dressed how casual this dinner really is. You’re wearing a freaking suit!”

“You’re upset about this.”

“Gee, what gave you the first clue, Dad? How can you do this? Mom has only been gone for five-and-a-half months and already you’re trying to forget about her!”

“Buffy, that’s not the case at all. I still love your mother very much, and she made me promise to move on if she passed away before me, just as she promised me. And that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. I’m not proposing marriage, I just asked Sierra out for a nice, quiet dinner so we can get to know each other.”

“What kind of name is Sierra, anyway? It sounds like something out of a soap opera. In fact, I know it is. As The World Turns, as a matter of fact.”

Mr. Summer sighed. His daughter was taking the news just the way he’d anticipated she would. “I want you to be okay with me dating again. This is a period of adjustment for both of us; it’s been a rough couple of months. Tell me how you feel. I want to know.”

“You want the truth, Dad? I hate it. I hate everything! Ever since Mom died, my life has sucked beyond the telling of it. Things were starting to go okay for a while there until you told me we were moving to Buffalo. And I hate it here! It’s cold and snowy and miserable all the time. I hate my new school, no one likes me and I have one friend – Drusilla. I miss our old house; I miss Mom, I miss Sunnydale High, I miss my friends and I miss my boyfriend. Hell, I even miss Cordelia Chase! Did you know she’s going out with Xander? I just found out they’ve been together since right after we left town. I’m so out of the loop and it’s all your fault!”

“I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. If you were really, truly sorry you’d let me go to Sunnydale for the holidays like you promised me before we moved. But no, you changed your mind as soon as I told you Liam and I were making plans. Well, I hope you’re happy. You ruined my entire Christmas.”

“It’s going to take some getting used to.”

The teenager groaned. “It has been two months, Dad, and I’m still not used to it here. And you know what? I’ll never be used to it. I hope you have fun tonight,” she said sarcastically.

She turned around and exited the room, going into her own room and slamming the door behind her. Her father just didn’t understand how hard it was for her. The move had ripped her away from everything she’d ever known. And he expected her to adapt overnight? Not a chance. In the back of her mind, she knew it wasn’t only her father’s doing; she’d be willing to bet money her aunt played a big role in it.

Ten minutes later she heard her father’s car start up. Pulling the blinds away from the window, Buffy watched him back out of the driveway and head down the street. When he was out of sight, she reached over, grabbed her telephone and looked up the phone number for the airport in the phone book.

“Buffalo-Niagara International Airport, my name is Sue. How may I help you?”

Buffy pulled her father’s credit card out of her purse. They’d gotten a joint account not long after moving. “Hi, I’m Buffy Summers. And I need a seat on your next flight to Sunnydale, California. One way.”

***

// But if you see me walking by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away
Baby, look away \\

Alone in his dorm room, Liam was packing his clothes before returning home the next day. The majority of his belongings had already been moved to the new dorm room he’d requested several weeks earlier. After the fiasco at the party when Spike spiked his drink, Liam put in for a transfer to a private room for the following semester. Despite numerous apologies, he refused to forgive his roommate. The two hadn’t shared more than two sentences in the past two months.

The knock at his door took him by surprise, particularly since it was nearly nine o’clock. Very few people remained in the dorms; most had already returned home for Winter break. He knew for a fact he was the only student left on his floor.

“Coming!” he called, nearly tripping over his sneakers on the way to the door. When he opened it, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He thought they were playing tricks on him; he had to be dreaming. “Oh my god.”

On the other side of the door his girlfriend smiled, clutching her suitcase. “Surprise,” she said.

***

59

// Don’t look at me
I don’t want you to see me this way \\

Liam gawked at his girlfriend for a full thirty seconds, completely shocked to find her standing in the hallway outside his dorm room. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect to find her there; her father had cancelled her holiday trip unexpectedly. But to have her there – close enough to touch – only days before Christmas, simply blew his mind.

The blonde didn’t know what to make of his silence. “Liam? Are you not happy to see me?” she asked him.

“I’m – what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. Dad surprised me with a trip to Sunnydale for Christmas,” Buffy lied. She couldn’t tell him the real reason; not yet anyway. “So I thought I would surprise you in turn. Am I interrupting something?”

He shook his head. “No, not at all. Come on in.” Opening the door wider, Liam allowed her to enter the room.

Once he closed the door again, Buffy dropped her suitcase on the floor and threw herself into his arms. Their lips met in a frantic kiss, like they were afraid they’d never have the opportunity to share another. When the buss finally broke apart, the two were breathless as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Wow,” Liam commented.

“I second that,” his girlfriend agreed. “God, I’ve missed doing that. I’ve missed seeing you almost every day. The past two months have been utter torture for me.”

“They have for me, too. You are a sight for sore eyes. I can’t believe you’re really here. It’s like a dream or something.”

Buffy smiled at him. “A good one, I hope. But you never did answer my question. Are you happy to see me?”

“I’m thrilled, you know that. Just really shocked is all. How long have you known about this trip? And why didn’t you tell me?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” she teased. “I’d have missed seeing the expression on your face when you opened that door. I wouldn’t have traded that moment for anything in the world, I can tell you that. Besides, I just found out about the trip. I guess you could say it was a last-minute decision.”

“Where are you staying while you’re here?” Liam wanted to know.

She shrugged her shoulders. In all honestly, Buffy hadn’t thought that far in advance; all she cared about was getting the hell out of Buffalo. “Probably the Sunnydale Motel. Dad gave me his credit card to use.”

“I’m sure you can stay with my family,” he suggested. “You can save your dad money, and visit with Willow at the same time. I know my mom and Ira would love to see you.”

‘No, I can’t do that! They’ll just call my dad and then he’ll make me go back to Buffalo. Not a chance in hell!’ Buffy thought. “Thanks, but I was actually hoping that this trip could be just you and me. You know, nobody else has to know.”

Liam narrowed his eyes at her suggestion. It was then that he realized something was off with his girlfriend. “Is everything okay, Buffy? You seem a little different.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know. You don’t seem like yourself, that’s all.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He sighed, knowing he’d put his foot in his mouth. “I didn’t mean it like that. Look, I’m sorry. I am so happy you’re here. And you can stay here tonight.”

“What about Spike?”

“He’s back in England. And even if he was here, it wouldn’t make a difference.”

“Did you two have a fight?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“What happened?” she questioned.

“He did something I couldn’t forgive. So I requested a private room next semester. Spike and I haven’t really spoken since the week after you left town.”

The look of disgust on Liam’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Buffy. “You never mentioned it before. Okay, what did he do this time? Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

“He got me drunk at a frat party; he spiked my drink with rum and I...well, I woke up someplace that wasn’t my own room. I guess I was pretty trashed because I don’t remember a thing of what went on.”

“Whose room, Liam?” ‘Please god, don’t let this be heading where I think it’s heading.’

“Darla Spencer’s room. But before you jump to the inevitable conclusion I know you’ll jump to, I want you to know nothing happened that night. When I woke up I was still in the clothes I wore to the party,” he explained.

She slowly nodded. “How do you know nothing happened? You said it yourself, you were drunk. Maybe you don’t remember doing it.” “Darla admitted nothing went on that night. She told me I passed out before we could really do anything. Apparently I can’t hold my booze very well. Which is a very good thing to know.”

“So there hasn’t been anyone else since I left?”

He touched his palm to her cheek. “Not a soul.”

“Good. Because I have missed you and I’m dying to show you just how much.”

***

// Don’t look at me
Baby, I don’t want you to see me this way \\

The next day Liam stopped over at his mom’s house to drop off some of his things. He’d gone there alone per Buffy’s request. She told him she wanted to spend the whole day alone with him without any interruptions. After spending the majority of the night showing him how much she missed him, Liam could only imagine what his girlfriend had in mind for the rest of the day.

“Hi, Mom,” he said when he walked into the kitchen.

Mrs. Rosenberg looked up from the cup of coffee she’d been staring into when she heard her son’s voice. “Hiya, Liam. I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Sorry. Where is everyone?” he wanted to know.

“Ira is at his office grading papers and Willow is at Oz’s house. It’s just me.” She paused for a moment. “Liam, have you heard from Buffy in the last day or so?”

“Why?”

“I just got off the phone with Hank Summers a little while ago. He said he and Buffy got into an argument yesterday afternoon, and now she’s missing. According to Hank she used their credit card to buy a plane ticket to Sunnydale. He assumed she would contact either you or Willow. And since Willow claims she hasn’t spoken to Buffy in over a week, that leaves you.”

Liam shook his head. “Sorry, Mom. I haven’t heard from her either.”

“Okay. But if you do, please have her call her father. Hank is going out of his mind with worry,” Mrs. Rosenberg told him.

“Sure thing.” ‘Why didn’t you tell me the truth, Buffy?’

***

60

// Of all the things I believed in
I just wanna get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by \\

Throughout the ten minute drive back to the university, Liam couldn’t stop thinking about his girlfriend. It boggled his mind knowing she had purposely lied to him. Why? was the question he kept asking himself over and over again. Buffy had had numerous opportunities to tell him the truth as to why she’d come back to Sunnydale. They’d promised each other to always be honest. Why hadn’t she been honest with him?

He wondered what happened back in Buffalo to make her run away. Had someone hurt her? Had she gotten into some sort of trouble? Did her aunt Meredith say or do something hurtful towards her? Or had it been her father? Liam was determined to get an answer out of her.

Entering his dorm room, he wore an expressionless face. Liam wanted to give his girlfriend an opportunity to admit to him what she’d done before he called her on it. When Buffy saw it was him she ran over and gave him a kiss.

“I was getting worried about you,” she said. “You said you weren’t going to be gone for very long. Where’d you go?”

“I went to see my mom.”

Her face paled. ‘Did he tell her?’ “You didn’t tell her about me being in town for a visit, did you?”

He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I was thinking about it, though. It’s gonna be kinda hard to keep your visit a secret from everyone. I mean, someone’s bound to see you eventually.”

“I don’t want everyone to know,” she explained lamely.

It was a bullshit excuse and Liam knew it. “Why not? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled beyond belief you want to spend your entire trip with me, but don’t you want to see your friends? I’m sure Willow and Xander and Oz would like to spend some time with you before you leave again.”

“I-I wanna be with you.”

“Well, how long will you be staying?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

Buffy was reaching for her answers; it wouldn’t be long now. “What does your return ticket say? I’m sure the date is on there.”

His constant questions were beginning to fluster her. “Look, I don’t remember where I put it, okay? What’s the deal with you playing twenty questions, anyway?”

“I don’t know, Buffy. What’s the deal with you lying to me?”

“What are you talking about?” Buffy demanded. By the look on her boyfriend’s face, she knew she had been caught.

“You know exactly what I am talking about. Did you think I wouldn’t find out the truth? You ran away from home. Didn’t it occur to you that your father might call my mom and Ira looking for you?”

At that precise moment, all the color drained from her face. Buffy was pale as a ghost. “What did your mom tell him?”

“That she didn’t know where you were,” Liam replied.

“Did you tell her I’m here?”

He shook his head. “I already answered that question. No. And now you are going to answer some questions for me. The first one being why the hell did you lie to me?”

Buffy looked down in shame. She’d hurt Liam by not being completely truthful with him. “Because I was afraid you’d call my father. I knew you’d make me call him, and then he’d make me come home. Liam, I don’t want to go back there. Ever. That’s why I bought a one-way ticket.”

“What happened back there?”

“What *didn’t* happen? It’s exactly the way I knew it would be from the start. The weather is crappy; I hate the cold all the time. My aunt is trying to run my life, which is nothing new and exciting. I hate my new school. I have one friend, Liam. One. No one has bothered to say more than two words to me since I started there. And my dad is never home; he’s always at the office. He’s even dating this woman named Sierra now!”

“So this is about your dad dating again,” he assumed.

“That’s not the only reason.”

Liam took a seat on the bed, taking a hold of Buffy’s hand so she could join him. “You took geography classes, so you knew what Buffalo weather was going to be like. You also knew your aunt is a control freak; don’t blame it on that either. And you have one friend, big deal. I happen to know for a fact you are a very outgoing young woman. Buffy, if you actually wanted friends, you’d have a million of them by now.”

“What are you getting at?”

“I’m getting at my original theory. You are angry about your father dating again. Tell me the truth, that’s why you ran away.”

Slowly, she nodded. “Okay, you’re right. That’s the main reason I ran away. But can you blame me? My mom hasn’t even been dead six months and Dad’s already trying to forget her.”

“I doubt that. He could never forget your mother.”

“The least he could do is show some respect.”

“Somehow I don’t think he’ll be proposing to this Sierra woman anytime soon. Look, Buffy, I know you’re upset with him right now. But I think you should call him.”

“No.”

“He’s worried about you,” he tried to reason with her.

“I’m sure he is.” Buffy sighed. “Liam, I am not going back there. If I call him, Dad will only make me go back. And I won’t.”

He bit his lip. His girlfriend could be stubborn when she wanted to be. “As much as I hate to say it, I really don’t think you have a choice.”

“Yes I do.”

“What would that be?” he wanted to know.

“We could get married.”

It took several seconds for her words to sink in. “Married?” Liam finally managed to repeat. “You want to get married?”

“Yes. Dad can’t make me go back to New York if I’m married. I want to be your wife, Liam; I have for years. I’ve always known I was meant to spend the rest of my life with you. Instead of waiting, we can make it official now.”

“You want to marry me?”

Buffy sighed once more. “Yes, Liam. We can drive down to Mexico. In fact, if we leave now, we can be there by sunset. What do you say? Will you marry me?”

Liam sat there in shock. Had he really just been proposed to? One look in his girlfriend’s eyes and he knew the answer to her question. He loved Buffy, and *did* want her to be his wife. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

***

61

// I’ve been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I’m hearing
Are starting to get old \\

Once Buffy left the room to take a shower before they left for Mexico, Liam picked up the telephone and called home. He kept his fingers crossed that his sister would pick up rather than his mother or stepfather.

“Hello?” Willow answered on the third ring.

He sighed with relief. ‘Thank god,’ Liam thought. “Will, it’s Liam.”

“Hi. Did you want to talk to Mom?”

“No, I was hoping to talk to you. Are you in your room? Or are you at least alone where no one can hear you?” he wanted to know.

Willow wondered why Liam was asking her so many strange questions. “Yes, I am alone. Dad is still at his office and Mom is outside. What’s going on, Liam? You’re acting all secretive.”

“I have to. Listen, if I tell you something in confidence you need to promise me you won’t tell Mom or Ira.”

“You know me.”

“Yeah, I know I do. Which is exactly why I’m asking you the question to begin with,” he said. “This is really important.”

She nodded, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. “You can trust me. What is it?”

“Buffy’s here with me. She showed up at my dorm room last night after a fight with her father. Willow, she ran away from home.”

“That’s what Mom said. But she never mentioned Buffy was staying with you. Did you find out what happened?” Willow asked.

“No one knows she’s here with me. I don’t have the time to get into the specifics of it right now. I only called to tell you what’s going on. We’re going to Mexico to get married.”

The redhead’s jaw dropped to the ground. “Did you just say what I think you just said? You and Buffy are getting married?”

“Yes.”

“Are you out of your freaking mind?!” she exclaimed. “Mom and Dad are gonna totally flip out when they find out. Not to mention your dad and Buffy’s dad, too. And has it escaped your attention that Buffy is only sixteen? What are you two thinking?”

“We’re keeping her in Sunnydale. She doesn’t want to go back to Buffalo and I don’t want her to. We love each other.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to run off and get married. This is totally crazy!”

Liam sighed. He should have known Willow would have this kind of reaction to his news. “Look, Willow, I didn’t call you to ask for your permission. I called so you would know what is going on in case something unforseen should happen. Don’t tell anyone. You promised me.”

“Liam–”

“You *promised*,” he reminded her. “If Mom or Ira asks, I went out with a bunch of my friends for the night. Buffy and I will be back tomorrow afternoon. And we’ll be husband and wife.”

***

// It feels like I’m starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said \\

Mr. Summers sat on the couch in the Rosenberg’s living room. As soon as he discovered his daughter had run away to Sunnydale, he hopped on the first flight to the small California town. And despite his pleas to the contrary, his sister accompanied him.

“I just don’t get it,” he stated. “Why would Buffy feel like she had to run away from home? I’ve always told her she can say anything to me. This isn’t like her.”

“What I don’t understand is why she’d come back to Sunnydale and not contact anyone,” Mr. Rosenberg added.

He nodded in agreement. “I know, that’s the strange part about this whole thing. I assumed she’d call Willow, or Liam. But you said neither one of them has heard from her. Buffy could be anywhere right now.”

“It’s a childish prank is what it is,” Meredith commented. “Buffy is acting out to get attention. The girl couldn’t get her own way, so now she is trying to force you into doing what she wants you to do. Hank, you cannot let her back you into a corner like this.”

“My little girl could be lying in a ditch someplace. Dead or dying or...someone might have kidnapped her. They could be holding her hostage; torturing her. Forcing her to do unmentionable things.”

Mrs. Rosenberg touched her hand to her former neighbor’s. “Hank, you’re overreacting. Wherever Buffy is, I’m sure she’s perfectly fine.”

The frightened father stood up. “I’m calling the police. She’s been missing for twenty-four hours now.”

Willow, having heard the adults from her place at the top of the stairs, ran down to the living room. “Please don’t call the police, Mr. Summers.”

“Willow, I told you to stay upstairs,” her father said sternly.

“Buffy’s not hurt. Or kidnapped. Or being tortured.”

Mr. Summers turned to look at his daughter’s best friend. “Did she call you? Is she okay? Where is she?”

“She didn’t call me. But I know for a fact that she’s fine.”

“Willow, how do you know this?”

She took a deep breath. The promise she made to her brother wasn’t one she could keep. Not when Buffy’s father was going out of his mind with worry. “Liam told me. She stayed the night with him.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me,” Meredith said. “I knew that boy would only cause trouble. Let’s go find them and drag Buffy back here. And ground her for the rest of her natural life.”

“We can take my car,” Mr. Rosenberg told them. “I know exactly where his dorm room is. That’s probably where they are.”

“He’s not there. You won’t find them there; they left.”

“Where did they go?” questioned Mr. Summers.

Willow closed her eyes as if in pain. “They drove to Mexico. To get married.”

***

// Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to \\

“O’Neal!” the minister called. “You’re next.”

Grabbing Liam’s hand, Buffy stood up and the two of them walked to the altar of the chapel. It wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect wedding she had dreamed of since she was a child, but that didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was that she was marrying the man she loved. The rest wasn’t important.

“Are you making up your own vows or using traditional ones?” he asked the couple.

“Traditional,” Buffy informed him. “Right, Liam?”

“Right.”

But he wasn’t paying much attention. Liam was distracted by his sister’s words from earlier that day. Was he out of his mind for agreeing to do this? There was no question that he loved Buffy with all of his heart. He *did* want to spend the rest of his life with her. The question remained, was he ready for marriage?

“Do you, Buffy Summers, take Liam O’Neal to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold until death do you part?” the minister asked her.

Staring into Liam’s chocolate eyes, Buffy smiled. “I do.”

“And do you, Liam O’Neal, take Buffy Summers to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold until death do you part?”

With his heart pounding in his chest like a freight train, Liam swallowed the lump in his throat. “No.”

***

62

// I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can’t live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it’s not right \\

When the word “no” came out of his mouth, Liam felt a huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders. He knew how upset Buffy would be with his change of heart in regards to marrying her, but he simply couldn’t go through with it. The one thing he hoped was that his girlfriend didn’t believe it had anything to do with her. It didn’t. He loved Buffy, but he just was not ready to be someone’s husband. And Buffy deserved someone who could be one.

“Buffy, I–”

She gaped at him, both angry and sad tears filling her green eyes. How could Liam do this to her? “I don’t think I want to hear this.”

“It’s not that I don’t love you. I do. But I’m not ready for this yet,” he started to say.

“Not ready? Don’t you think you should have told me this, oh I don’t know, maybe three hours ago!? Instead you wait until we’re in front of the minister to tell me you don’t want to marry me!” she accused.

Liam closed his eyes and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “I can’t do it, Buffy. And it has nothing to do with you or my feelings for you. We’re just too young. You’re sixteen and I’m eighteen. We have our whole lives to be together; do you honestly believe you and I are ready for this?”

“Yes,” Buffy replied in a small voice. Though what he was saying made perfect sense to her. The problem was she didn’t want it to. Now she’d be forced to return to Buffalo. “No, I guess not.”

The minister cleared his throat. He had lost track of how many times this situation occurred since he’d taken his vows. “Excuse me. If you aren’t going to finish the ceremony, I’ll have to ask you to leave. I have other couples waiting.”

Looking at him, Liam nodded his head. “All right. Buffy?” He held out his hand for the girl standing to his left.

With a quivering lower lip, Buffy reluctantly took his hand and allowed him to lead her into the hallway outside the chapel. Once they were alone, Liam pulled her into his arms. The last thing he wanted was for her to hate him. “I’m so sorry. I hope you understand why I couldn’t do it.”

“Unfortunately, I do,” Buffy answered with a sniffle. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.”

“Hey. You know how I feel about you. I love you more than I have ever loved anybody. The timing just isn’t right.”

“You don’t want to marry me.”

“Buffy, you make it sound like I never want to marry you, which isn’t the case at all. Not now, though. I know if I married you back there, you and I would regret it eventually. That’s not what I want to happen,” explained Liam.

“Liam, I wouldn’t regret it.”

“Maybe today you wouldn’t. You might wake up tomorrow morning and realize it isn’t what you really want. Then we’d end up hating each other. Besides, how would we support ourselves? Neither of us have jobs. And what if you got pregnant right away?” he questioned. “Are you ready to be a wife *and* mother at the age of seventeen?”

She thought about his words. Yet again, they made total sense. “No, I’m not.”

“See? All of that is stuff we never gave any thought to when we were driving down here.”

“You gave this a lot of thought, didn’t you?”

He shook his head. “Not a lot. Just enough thought. I didn’t want to hurt you or embarrass you back there, but I couldn’t go through with it.”

“I know. Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“I am sorry. Someday, Buffy, when the timing is right, we’ll do it.”

“Okay.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Liam, I don’t want to go back there. My dad is going to make me go back to Buffalo, and I can’t live there. I *won’t* live there.”

Resting his chin on the top of her head, he frowned. “We’ll find a way.”

***

// Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to \\

The couple was still sitting on a bench in the hallway when their parents came running through the doors. After a two-and-a-half hour trip, all six adults were exhausted. When Willow told them what her brother and best friend were doing, Mrs. Rosenberg called her ex-husband to explain the situation. He and Amelia met them at the Mexican border.

“Buffy! Liam!” Mrs. Rosenberg called, speeding down the hall to where the two teenagers were sitting. “Thank god we found you.”

“What the hell were you two thinking?” demanded her husband. “You nearly gave us all heart attacks.”

“Sorry, Ira,” Liam apologized. “We didn’t meant to frighten anyone.”

“However, you did.”

Meredith stepped forward. “I thought you had more sense than this, Buffy. Marrying this boy was the worst mistake of your life. I hope you know he’s only using you until he gets bored. Then he’ll leave you high and dry when he finds someone better.”

Offended by her words, Liam stood up and glared at Buffy’s aunt. He wasn’t going to allow her to attack his character. “Shut up! You don’t know me, so stop tossing accusations at me. They only make you look more ignorant, if that’s even possible. I love Buffy. That’s why I didn’t marry her.”

“Didn’t?” his father repeated. “You mean you’re not married?”

Buffy shook her head. “No. Liam stopped the wedding. He knew we weren’t ready. And he’s one hundred percent right.”

Mr. Summers pulled his daughter into a tight embrace. “Honey, why did you do it? Run away from home and then here to get married?”

“Buffalo isn’t home, Dad, it never will be. Home is Sunnydale; where Mom and Liam and all of my friends are. Can’t you see how miserable I am in New York?” she asked him. “I asked Liam to marry me so I wouldn’t have to go back there.”

“You’re only sixteen,” her father pointed out. “That’s too young to be married.”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t care. But Liam did.”

Mr. O’Neal approached his son. “I’m proud of you, son. You did the right thing. The *smart* thing.”

Meredith couldn’t believe what they were saying. “I don’t understand a single thing you people are saying. These two kids ran away to a foreign country to get married and you’re telling them how proud you are of them? What kind of parents are you?”

Upset with Meredith’s words, Mrs. Rosenberg walked up to her, standing less than a foot away. “They realized their mistake before they made it, that’s what makes us proud of them. If you don’t like it, I suggest you go wait outside in the car before I personally bitch slap you all the way back to Buffalo. Kapeesh?”

With an angry sigh, Buffy’s aunt marched out of the building.

“So, what happens now?” Liam wanted to know.

“We go back to Sunnydale,” Mr. Summers told him. “Then Buffy, her aunt and I go back to Buffalo after a long talk.”

The blonde vehemently shook her head. “Dad, I don’t want to go back. I already told you that.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

“Actually, she does,” Amelia interrupted. “I’m sorry, Mr. Summers, I know I have no right to interfere in your family problems, but I’d like to offer a possible solution. Liam’s father and I were discussing this on the drive down here.”

“I’m listening.”

“We’d love to have Buffy live with us. I know it’s on the other side of the country from you, but it’s closer to Sunnydale than Buffalo is. She’d be near her friends, she can go to Sunnydale on the weekends. And during vacations she’ll go to New York to be with you, or you can visit her. We have plenty of room at our place in Los Angeles. As long as Buffy doesn’t mind living down the hall from a crying baby.”

Mr. Summers considered the idea. Weighing his daughter’s happiness against his desire to keep her close, he didn’t need long to think it over. “If Buffy wants to live with you, I’ll be fine with it.”

“Are you serious? You want me to live with you?” she asked them.

“We’d love it.”

“Then I want to. Thank you so much. And thank you, Dad.” She gave him a big hug.

He smiled. “I only want what’s best for you.”

“I know.” Buffy turned to her boyfriend. “I don’t have to go back. We can see each other every weekend. You are gonna be sick of seeing my face all the time.”

“It’ll never happen. I’ll never get sick of you, Buffy. Never.”

***

63

// And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what’s yours and I want what’s mine
I want you
But I’m not giving in this time \\

“Liam...”

The napping teenager groaned when he heard his name being called. He didn’t want to wake up. Liam was tired from the long trip to and from Mexico. ‘This isn’t even remotely funny. Why can’t I take a freaking nap without someone wanting to lecture me on the stupid thing Buffy and I did?’ His mother had taken his car keys from him and decided to drive him and Buffy back to Sunnydale.

“Let me sleep a little longer,” he complained. “Save the lecture for later.”

“Liam, we’re at your mother’s house.”

He jerked into wakefulness. ‘What the hell?’ he asked himself. Looking to his left, Liam saw his father staring expectantly at him. He was confused; they were alone in the car. Buffy was nowhere to be found. What happened to her? Had he been asleep so long that they changed drivers without him noticing? “Where is Mom?” he asked.

Mr. O’Neal gave his son a strange look. “She’s probably in the house waiting for you.”

“But she was driving us home.”

“Us?”

“Yeah. Me and Buffy. Don’t you remember Mexico?” questioned Liam.

His father shook his head. “No, I don’t. We’ve been on the road for nearly two hours from L.A.. And you’ve been asleep since we left.”

“But what about Buffy?”

“I’m assuming she’s probably at her house, Liam. Your mother did say she couldn’t wait to see you when she got here. She might even be here now, I don’t know. From what I hear, she’s quite a beauty these days. You had a big crush on her when you were a kid, remember?”

“Dad, what day is it?”

“It’s Sunday, November thirteenth. Why?” His son was making absolutely no sense.

‘November thirteenth? Oh my god, it was a dream. All of it. I can’t believe it, none of it happened. Buffy and I never fell in love, her mother never died, Amelia never had Amanda, and me and Buffy didn’t run away to Mexico to get married. Why would I dream about all of that stuff? Why?’ “I’m just – it’s been a long week. Sorry, I had the strangest dream.”

Mr. O’Neal raised his eyebrows. From the questions his son had asked, it was easy to assume Buffy Summers played an integral role in the dream. “Anything you’d care to share with me?”

“Not really.”

“All right. Let’s get your stuff and go inside. Willow is dying to see you.”

***

// Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one that I tried to hold on to
The one that I tried to hold on to \\

“Hey, Will, can I ask you a question?” Liam asked his sister later that afternoon after his father had left for Los Angeles.

“Sure. What’s up?”

He took a deep breath, trying to find the best way to pose his question. “Do you remember when I moved to L.A. a couple years ago? I told Buffy I hated her.”

“Yeah, I know. She told me all about it.”

“Well, do you know if she’s still upset with me about it?” he wanted to know. Given the events of his dream, Liam didn’t want to take his chances. If Buffy hated him for it, he wanted to know up front.

Willow shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t think so. She hasn’t really mentioned it to me since then, but I doubt it. It happened three years ago. That’s an awful long time to hold a grudge.”

“I guess. Has she – has she been seeing anyone lately?”

The redhead couldn’t help lifting an eyebrow at his question. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear her brother still had a thing for the girl living next door. “Why do you want to know?”

“Just wondering.”

“I think it’s more than that,” Willow deduced. “Come on, you can tell me. Do you still have a crush on her?”

“Still?”

She laughed at his perplexed expression. “Oh please. Everyone knows you had a thing for Buffy growing up. You practically drooled whenever she walked in the room. Just admit it. You want to know if you have any competition.”

“I haven’t seen her since I left.” ‘That’s not exactly true, but whatever. A dream doesn’t count anyway.’

“Maybe you should,” his younger sister suggested. “I know she’d love to see you. You know, Buffy had a crush on you, too.”

“I heard. She said she loved me.”

“Did you?”

Biting his bottom lip, Liam didn’t need to think hard for the answer. The dream he’d had on the car ride to Sunnydale extinguished any doubts he might have had. “Yeah, I did. And I think I still do.”

When she saw him head for the front door, Willow called out to him. “Where are you going?”

“To apologize. And to tell her how I feel.”

“Liam, the answer is no,” she told him with a knowing smile. “She’s not seeing anyone. Buffy has never even had a boyfriend.”

“Thanks.”

***

// And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You’re my shooting star \\

Mrs. Summers had to admit she was shocked to find Liam O’Neal standing on the front porch when she opened the door. She’d been told he was returning to Sunnydale to finish out his senior year of high school, but never expected to see him on the other side of her front door.

“Liam,” she greeted. “How nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you, too, Mrs. Summers.” And it was the truth. He’d been taken aback when she first opened the door; in his dream she had died in early July of the next year. ‘It was just a dream, Liam. Remember that.’ “Um, is Buffy home?”

She nodded, opening the door wider for him to step inside. “She is in her bedroom. Have a seat on the couch and I’ll get her for you.”

Walking up to her daughter’s bedroom, she thought about how strange it was to have Liam in her living room waiting for Buffy. Yet at the same time it was familiar. He’d done the same thing when they were children. She knocked on Buffy’s door and waited until she heard a reply before entering.

“Honey, you have a visitor,” Mrs. Summers informed her daughter.

“Willow?” asked Buffy.

“Liam.”

Buffy jumped off her bed and bolted out of her room, then down the stairs to the living room. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him sitting on the couch. If it were possible, he looked even more handsome than when she’d last seen him. Liam was a lot taller, much broader, but he still made her heart race.

“H-Hi, Liam,” she stuttered. All of her feelings for him came rushing back to her like a flash flood.

He stood up and gazed at her. Buffy looked exactly the way she had in his dream. It made what he had to say so much easier. “Hi, Buffy. You look...really grown up.”

“Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.”

Liam smiled. One glance in her emerald eyes and he knew he loved this fifteen-year-old girl. “I just got back today and I wanted to see you. I really wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” she wanted to know.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

His smile faded into a frown. “For what I said before I left all those years ago. I told you I hated you but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. The opposite was true. I loved you, Buffy. I always have and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. You know, I didn’t even realize it until this afternoon. I don’t want you to hate me for something I said when I was only fourteen years old.”

“You l-love me?” she repeated.

“Yeah. Even if you hate me I’m still going to love you,” he said honestly.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. Never in her entire life had she expected to hear those words from him. “I don’t hate you.”

“I hurt you, though, didn’t I?”

She nodded. “Oh yeah, big time. Doesn’t mean I stopped feeling what I felt for you. I love you, too.”

Closing the gap between them, Liam captured Buffy’s lips for her first kiss.

THE END!

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