By My Side (cont...)

Part 11

"You're sure you both will be okay for the day?" Angel asked anxiously while he was holding Buffy's hand.

"We'll be fine," Cordelia told him. "We're two big girls and we've got lots of things to talk about. We haven't seen each other for quite a while and Willow's coming again later." She giggled: "It seems she's getting a taste for private investigation."

Doyle shook his head and laughed: "I see, I see, Delia dearest. Angel, man, this was a hint that we'd only be in the way. So let's go and find out something to help the girl."

"We'll be back as soon as possible," Angel kissed Buffy on the cheek and squeezed her hand.

"I'll be fine," she gave him a reassuring smile then pushed him slightly towards the door. "Now go."

With a last long look he turned and both men left the office.

Cordelia turned to the other girl: "He's really got it bad for you."

Buffy blushed and looked to the ground: "We'll see," she said evasive.

The brunette cocked an eyebrow: "What do you mean by that? Just yesterday I stepped into his office and what I saw was far beyond 'we'll see'."

"Alright, alright, we kissed. And he's nice and caring and all, but it's his job Cordy."

"What? You think he's behaving like this, because it's his job? Oh Buffy, obviously you've never seen a guy in love." She grinned. "Well I have, because I'm married to one and the signs are obvious. Just look in his eyes, he's hardly able to keep them off of you. The more important question is, what do you feel for him, because he had it tough, you know, and don't want to see him hurt. He's much too soft for that job," she sighed.

"I ... I don't know," Buffy said, averting her eyes. "I've not really experienced that I could trust guys. The ones I knew were, well they're not worth mentioning actually. Angel, he's so different, sometimes I think he isn't even real."

"He is real, I assure you," Cordelia said with a grin. "And I just know that you feel warm all over when you look at him. I mean, just look at him. He's very attractive." Seeing Buffy's face she raised a hand: "No, don't understand me wrong. I love Doyle, but I have eyes. So what does your body tell you, when he's near you, because as an observer I can almost feel the electricity between you both."

The blonde blushed furiously but didn't answer the question. "Could we ... I mean, could we talk about something else."

"You do not have to tell me," the brunette grinned. "Your eyes say everything. And I'm glad. He needs that. And you too. You both are so right for each other and you'll be good for each other. Angel is the most caring person I've ever met, Buffy. Don't be afraid, he'll never hurt you."

"I know," the other girl replied. "I trust him. I really do, the problem is I don't trust myself. I'm still so confused and I'm scared, all this stuff going on in my life. The murder, my parents, it's just a bit too much at one time. And most of all I'm afraid that I might hurt him because of all this."

"I understand. I just want to make sure that you both won't miss that great opportunity, because you're both to afraid to love or being loved. If you ask me, it has been a long time since I've seen two people more destined for each other."

"I hope you are right," Buffy said. "I really hope you're right." Because I love him and being with him is like heaven, it's almost too good to be true, she added silently. She was sure now, that she loved him, it sounded crazy in her head, she knew him three days and was sure she loved him. But there was nobody she loved or trusted more. The question was, was she the right girl for him. He was such a wonderful man and he earned someone without all the scars she had on her soul, someone who could love him without fear and doubts. And then another, very scaring thought entered her mind, what would happen if they'd put her in jail for murder. She could never expect Angel to wait for her. God, how she missed him. He was only gone for ten minutes and she missed him already. She missed his eyes and his hand on hers and the comforting feeling whenever he was around, it was as if nothing could harm her when he was near.

He hadn't told her how he felt about her, so could Cordelia be right? Could he be in love with her? He'd said that he wanted to kiss her and she could feel the passion in him, when he touched her. But love was something different. Life had told her the difference the hard way. None of the boys and men she'd met had ever been in love with her. And she'd never been in love with them. So she was inexperienced in these matters. She tried to remember his eyes when he looked at her which was not difficult. There had been need and passion, but there had also been something deeper and stronger in them. Could that've been love?

She sighed and looked at the clock. He was gone for about 15 minutes and to Buffy it already seemed like an eternity.

*********

"All I want is to see my daughter," Joyce told her husband while she was stirring the soup in their kitchen. "Why do you think it isn't a good idea?"

"As I told you, she isn't quite receptive to our care at the moment. I think that Angel-guy isn't the best influence," Giles replied and leaned back at the fridge.

"But I thought you liked him. You told me so, I clearly remember that. Weren't your words something like 'he is a very capable young man'?"

Her husband clenched one hand to a fist, why on earth had his wife always to remember everything he'd once said. She and her daughter were just the same. "That's not the point. I thought he was capable in his business, but I do not like him to be around Buffy. He is an attractive man and I've seen our daughter's eyes when she looks at him. We had that before, Joyce, and you could see where it leads to."

"That's nonsense, Rupert, and you know that," his wife replied. "You're acting like the typical jealous father." She looked at him for a moment. "Buffy is 22 years old, it's time she has a solid relationship. From what she's told me in jail, there hasn't been any in her life." She looked at her husband for a while, then she turned back to her soup again. "You have to relax Rupert. Our daughter isn't 16 anymore."

"What happened to you? Only some days ago all you wanted was to get her home and never let her go again." Women, would he ever understand them? Giles asked himself.

"I took some time to think about this. And obviously I was more successful than you," she told him without facing him. She loved him dearly, but men could be so difficult sometimes. Of course she'd never tell him that she'd a long talk with Willow yesterday night which made things a lot simpler. According to the red-head and Joyce had learned over the years that Willow was a very reasonable person, Angel was a wonderful man who seemed to care deeply for Buffy's well-being. In Joyce's book and although she didn't know him, it made him the perfect future son-in-law. She sighed and took the soup from the fire.

"What do you mean by that?," Giles eyed his wife sharply. Why did she feel so superior? It made him suspicious. Any time Joyce acted this way she knew more than he and when he hated something then it was the feeling he was left in the dark about things.

"I mean," she said, turning round with a grin on her face, "it's time to introduce you to a film every father should see sooner or later."

"And that is?" he asked quirking his eyebrows. What the hell was she up to?

She stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek: "It's called 'The Father of the Bride'. We're going to rent it for tonight and then you'll see a lot clearer, my dear. Soup is ready, if you're hungry just serve yourself. And if you excuse me now, I promised Willow to drive her. We're going to see Buffy. Oh and I'll take Steven with me. It's time Buffy knows about her little brother." With this she was out of the door and left a stunned Giles behind her.

*******

Doyle and Angel exchanged a quick glance before they entered the 'five-lights-club' where they hoped to find a guy called Brad. He was a little drug dealer, but he wasn't the worst kind. Actually he was too soft for his job and was only selling drugs because he was addicted to them too. Besides that he was almost hearing everything. When something happened in LA Brad would know it or he'd know someone who'd some information. So he was the best person to ask.

When their eyes could see again in the dim light of the club they were looking around. There weren't many people in, no surprise as it was still before noon. Not really the time to go to a club.

After a while Doyle touched Angel's arm and nodded towards a dark coner. Angel nodded back and both men approached the slim, blonde figure crouched on a chair who seemed to be in a conversation with one of the club-girls. They stopped in front of the table and Doyle patted the man on the shoulder: "Brad."

The man's head jerked round and he stared at the two other men with wide fearful eyes, but he seemed to relax when he finally recognized his visitors. "Doyle," he greeted back and then looked at the girl sitting opposite to him: "Vera, these are Doyle and Angel, that's my girlfriend Vera."

The girl's eyebrows quirked and she eyed the two men. On Angel her eyes rested a bit longer, then she smiled seductively: "I'll let you three alone. Nice to meet you," she paused and licked her lips. "Angel." Then she turned and left.

Doyle looked at his employer and shook his head: "Why do they always fall for you, man? I'm going to make a vow never to go with you again. A normal guy just doesn't stand a chance when you're near."

Angel chuckled slightly: "May I remind you of Cordelia. You remember her, pretty brunette, married to you?"

"Very funny, man. I love Delia. But that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate if women find me attractive." He growled slightly: "What they never do with you by my side."

"This is all very funny," Brad interrupted them, his voice sounding a little nervous. "But would it be too much effort to tell me what you want."

Angel studied the blonde man's face for a moment, then he took a seat and simply said: "Lex."

"Lex?," Brad asked confused.

"Yeah," Doyle sat himself beside his employer and leaned his ellbows on the table, his chin in on of his palms. "Lex. He was partner of another guy. Dermot. Said Dermot was shot some weeks ago."

"I've heard about that," the drug dealer said carefully. "Dermot was an ass. Was looking for a former girlfriend. Poor girl."

Angel gave him a sharp look: "Why?"

"The guy was known for his ... let's say special taste." Seeing the questioning gazes of the other men he sighed: "He liked to hit the girls. There's more than one hooker who can tell you about him. I've heard she killed him. Can't blame her, that bloody bastard."

Doyle shot his boss a quick look but his face didn't show any emotion. "Did you meet that Dermot-guy?"

"Nah," Brad snorted. "Wouldn't go near him. I saw him, yes. But met, no. He's a dangerous fella."

"Now what about Lex?" Angel asked trying to sound calm. Inside his blood was boiling. The mere thought that Dermot had beaten Buffy. Sure she'd told him about it, but now that a stranger had said the same... Dermot should be happy that he's dead already, he thought.

"Lex," Brad thought for a while. "I've seen Dermot with two other guys. One was Frankie Callan, you know the Beverly Hills-dealer. They looked as if they'd some business."

"Do you know where we could find Lex?" Doyle licked his lips nervously. Frankie Callan, this seemed to be much bigger than they'd thought.

"He plays cards here, in fact he'll come tonight."

Angel studied the face of the blonde man again. He decided he's telling the truth. He nodded: "Thanks Brad. I owe you one. If you ever need my help."

The drug dealer waved his hand: "No big. I don't like guys who hit the girls. If you can take him out you'd do me a favour."

Doyle and Angel nodded again and then left.

When they were outside, Doyle looked at his boss: "I've got a very bad feelin' about this, man. Maybe we should call the cops."

"And tell them what?" Angel asked impatiently. "We've nothing. And I doubt they'll carry drugs with them when they play tonight."

"What about Kate?," his employée wanted to know.

"What about her? I doubt she'll help us. Not after our last meeting."

"Maybe you shouldn't have been so rude to that woman."

Angel sighed loudly: "Doyle, what do you want to imply? That I should've slept with her so she'd help us?"

"No, but maybe you shouldn't have been so direct. She's attractive, it wouldn't have been much of a sacrifice."

"Oh god, Doyle. You're strange sometimes," Angel groaned. "You were there. You know how she was. The only honest thing was to tell her the truth." He suddenly grinned: "Why didn't you sacrifice yourself?"

His friend raised both hands in defense: "Hey, I'm married. Delia would've my head."

"Yeah," his boss nodded. "That she would've. Doyle, don't worry. I'll call Spike later. I'm sure he'll come with us."

"Good idea." Doyle felt better now. Spike was a friend of them and he was working as a private bodyguard. He was just the right person for this. "Maybe he can bring Dru too."

"Yes, maybe. I'll ask him." Angel sighed: "And now let's go and look at Buffy's and Anna's apartment. Maybe we'll find something the police haven't."

Part 12

"Be careful not to break the police tape here," Doyle whispered while Angel carefully removed the tape from the doorframe of Buffy's apartment. The police had sealed it, a clear sign that they were still investigating in the case of Anna's murder.

Angel rolled his eyes and shot his friend a look: "Yeah, well, because I haven't done that before. Doyle, I know how to remove it so nobody will know we're here." With a flipping noise the tape gave way and the two men entered the apartment.

Doyle whistled through his teeth: "I'd say someone was clearly looking for somthin'."

"You take the living-room and I'm going to look around in Buffy's bedroom," his employer said and disappeared into said room.

"What are we looking for?" Doyle wanted to know. "I mean, it'll much easier to search if I'd know exactly what it is that we're searching for."

"Very funny," came Angel's voice from the bedroom. "If I'd know that, it would be half the case. Just look around. Maybe one of the guys lost something or ... well, I don't know. Just keep your eyes open and look in every corner."

"Just keep your eyes open," his friend muttered under his breath, while he was looking through scattered papers and other things laying everywhere. "God, I love this work."

"What did you say?," Angel asked, his voice now coming from the other bedroom.

"Nothing," Doyle replied. "I was just thinking loud." Then something draw his attention to it and he stepped closer, it was metallic and when Doyle finally saw what it was he grinned. "Come over here," he called his friend. When the other man joined him he pointed to the blinking object. Both men looked at each other and a little smile spread across their faces. "I don't believe that belongs to a girl," Doyle said, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket and picking the little object from the ground.

"A cigar-cutter, well, not very likely. Buffy doesn't seem to smoke at all and we just have to ask her about Anna, but I didn't see any ash-tray in the apartment, so I'd say our killer wasn't so careful after all. Now all we can do is hope that he doesn't smoke his cigars wearing gloves." Angel reached into his pocket: "I've found something too. Something very interesting the police obviously missed in Anna's bedroom. It was laying under the bed."

"Will you tell me?"

Angel pulled out a picture and showed it to his friend: "Do you know the people on it?"

"No," Doyle shook his head. "What's the deal?"

"That," his employer pointed to a laughing girl, "is Anna. When you look on the backside of the picture you'll see it was made four years ago in San Francisco. And now I want you to pay attention to that guy." He looked at his friend for a long time. "I truly wished I never found that picture, because it will hurt Buffy and that's something I don't like at all."

"Spill it my friend."

"You remember the day Mr. Giles came into our office. Later Cordy and I tried to find a little bit more about this Dermot-guy."

"Yeah. And? Come on, man, you're killing me with the suspense."

"This guy on the picture with his arm around Anna's shoulder, the guy is Dermot."

*********

Buffy and Cordelia turned when the door was opened and the blonde's eyes went wide when she saw three people entering the office. "Willow," she greeted her friend. "Mom," she added hesitantly and then her eyes rested on a little boy on her mother's hand. "Hey you," she said, while Cordelia walked over and extended her hand to Buffy's mother.

"Mrs. Giles, is it now I think, hello."

"Cordelia," Joyce greeted her with a smile. "How very nice to see you again." Then she looked at her daughter who was still standing at a desk and hadn't moved yet. "Buffy," she said and stepped closer with the little boy at her hand. "Buffy," she repeated. "I want you to meet Steven. Steven, my love, this is Buffy. She's," she looked at her daughter, "your sister."

"My brother," the blonde whispered, staring at Steven, wonder in her eyes, while the little boy's mouth hang open. "But how?" she shook her head. "Well I know how, what I wanted to say is, why did nobody tell me?", her gaze wandering towards Willow.

The red-head came over and said: "I didn't want to make you feel sad. So much was going on in your life that I didn't want to make you feel you're missing something here."

"I have a little brother," Buffy said almost to herself. "How old is he?", she asked her mother.

"I'm five," Steven answered and held up his hand all fingers outstretched. "Buffy," he added and smiled brightly.

"Hi Steven," his sister bent down and put her hands on her tighs. "It's wonderful to meet you." Then she looked back to her mother: "But why telling me now and why are you here at all? I was sure after Giles' last visit you'd avoid me like the plague."

Joyce shrugged. "Men," she snorted. "Especially fathers are sometimes a bit difficult. But he'll come around," she assured her daughter. "I'm here to tell you that I had a long talk with Willow and she opened my eyes for some things." She gave the red-head a warm smile. "I won't bore you with the long story, but the cut version, I want you to know that I'll always love you and I understand and that I'll be here for you whenever you need me. And that I've been an idiot to behave like I did in jail, we both made faults in the past and it is up to us to start fresh." She looked at her daughter waiting for her response.

Buffy felt tears welling in her eyes, this was like a dream. With a sob she embraced her mother in a tight hug. "Oh mom," she cried at her shoulder. "I love you too. And I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, as I already told you, we both have things we're sorry for. But that's the past and I'd prefer to leave it that way."

Her daughter pulled back slightly and smiled: "Yes, I'd like that too." Then she looked down to the little boy who'd been looking at the whole exchange with huge eyes: "Now Steven. I think we both need to know each other, what do you think?"

He nodded emphatically: "Yeah," he replied. Then he cocked his head a little bit: "Are you strong?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow and asked: "Why do you want to know that?"

"There is that boy at school," he said. "Dylan. And he's a year older than I."

His sister smiled knowingly: "I see. And you think that's a big sister's job, right?"

He shrugged: "Don't know, but maybe he'll be nicer if he knows you're there."

The four women in the office laughed and Cordelia looked at Steven: "Hi you, I'm Cordy. Are you thirsty or hungry?"

"Thirsty," he replied. "Juice."

"Alright, I'll get you some juice." She looked around: "I'm sorry but I haven't got anything for you to play with."

"Don't worry," Joyce smiled and reached into her purse. "We brought his matchbox-cars." With this she produced four little cars and handed them to her son, who took them and went to play with them on the floor.

"He's a wonderful boy, Mom." Buffy smiled. "Giles and you must be so happy to have him."

"We are," Joyce said, taking a seat on a chair, while the other two girls got seated as well. "But truly happy I'll be when this stupid murder-accusations against you are dropped."

"So you believe now that I'm innocent?," her daughter asked with a hint of surprise in her voice. She was still digesting the new behaviour of her mother. She'd been so distant in jail, almost like a stranger and now the mother was back she remembered from the past.

"Of course I do. Buffy, you are my daughter and I know you. I'm sorry, I made you feel I wouldn't. We're just so confused at first."

"I know," the blonde smiled warmly at her mother. "I'm so glad you came. You'll never know what it means to me."

Joyce grinned: "Well it was one reason. The other," she looked to the ground for a moment as if she wanted to hide some embarrassment: "well, I wanted to meet Mr. Finnegan."

"Mr. Finnegan?," Buffy asked, her brows knitted in confusion. Then her face relaxed: "Oh, you mean Angel. He isn't there. He and Doyle left some hours ago. But why did you want to see him?"

"Well, just nosy I think. Willow told me about him," she looked at the red-head again.

Buffy's heard whirled around and she gazed at her friend who raised her hands in defense: "I only told her, how nice he is and how much he cares for you." The blonde relaxed a little bit. She was already seeing images of Willow telling her mother about their kiss or something.

"You're spending a lot of time with him, honey. You live with him in his apartment." Joyce, you're such a liar, she told herself. That's not what you're really interested in. But you can hardly ask her if she's in love with him.

"Mom," Buffy sighed. "I stay there because it's safer at the moment. I do not live with him."

"I know, I know," her mother assured her quickly. "I'm just interested, okay."

"Fine," her daughter nodded.

Joyce eyed her curiously. Willow had told her she had the feeling something was going on between her daughter and the young man and now Buffy was behaving as if he meant nothing to her. It was very strange and it made her wonder, if the red-head might have seen things. Suddenly something happened in her daughter's face, her eyes lit up and her mouth turned into a warm, welcoming smile, it was the expression of a woman welcoming her lover. The same moment she heard the door opening and turned in her chair. Two men were entering the office and they looked around in surprise.

Steven shot one of his cars directly into the taller man's foot. He laughed and bent down, a warm friendly sound: "Wow, that's a great car. Is it yours?," he asked the little boy. He had a rich, deep voice and Joyce like it from the start.

"Here I have your juice, Steven," Cordelia came out of the little office kitchen, a glass in her hand and smiled when she saw her husband standing there. She went over to him, handed Steven the glass who took it with a smile, then she leaned forward and kissed Doyle lovingly on the mouth.

Angel dropped the car on the ground and joined the other three women at the desk, leaving the couple to themselves. He smiled: "Willow," he greeted the red-head. Then he looked at Joyce.

"Uhm," Buffy said and smiled at him. "This is Joyce Giles, my mother. Mom, this is Mr. Finnegan."

"Hi," Angel said, extending his hand which she took without hesitation. "It's nice to meet you. But please call me Angel."

"Angel," she said with something in her voice he couldn’t really put his finger on. She raised one eyebrow and glanced quickly to her daughter. She barely managed to suppress a huge grin seeing the expression on her face. "I'm glad to meet you."

"Who is the young man over there?" he asked and looked at the little boy who was deeply concentrated on his cars.

"He is my brother," Buffy said with watery eyes. "I didn't know he existed until today."

The happy expression on her face warmed his heart: "He has your eyes," he remarked.

"Really?," she asked surprised. "I didn't notice."

"Angel's right," Joyce assured her. "It was the first thing I noticed when he was born." She looked at Angel again with that special look in her eyes, he couldn't read.

"Did you find anything?," Cordelia's voice came from behind and she and Doyle came to join the others. "Mrs. Giles. This is Doyle, my husband. Just call him Doyle. He has a nice name, but he doesn't like it."

Joyce grinned and shook hands with the young man. He had a nice, open smile and she liked him at once.

Buffy looked at Angel expectantly: "Now, did you find anything?" she repeated Cordelia's question.

"Well," he began. "We know where Lex will be tonight. So Doyle and I and hopefully two friends of us will check that out later." He moved closer to Buffy and took her hand: "Then we went to your apartment. And found there things too. First of all a cigar-cutter and I think I'm right that it didn't belong to one of you."

"Of course not," she told him. "Neither of us was smoking."

"Good," he smiled reassuringly. "We already gave it to a friend who is very good at taking finger-prints. And somehow, he never tells us exactly how, he can get into the finger-print files of the FBI. He'll cross-check them and hopefully give us a name in a few hours."

"That's so great," Willow exclaimed happily. Then she frowned: "It is great, right?"

"Hopefully," Angel replied, then he turned back to Buffy and squeezed her hand: "There is something else."

She saw the look in his eyes and fear was rising in her body: "What?," she whispered.

"I found a picture. A picture of Anna with two men," he went on and pulled it out of his pocket. "I don't know what it means yet, but I don't like it." With this he handed it to her.

She looked at it for a moment as if she would not understand what she was seeing. Then her eyes went wide, the picture slipped from her fingers and her free hand flew to her mouth. "Oh god," she whispered. Her body began to tremble again. This wasn't happening. Anna and Dermot, Anna and Dermot, her mind repeated again and again. It could mean anything, it could mean nothing, but whatever it meant, it proved that Anna had known Dermot and that meant she'd lied to her. Buffy had trusted her, she had believed her and Anna had lied to her the whole time. "No, no, no," she shook her head, shocked. "This is not happening," she cried, tears already running down her cheeks. "Angel, I thought she was my friend."

With one swift movement he pulled her to him and held her. "I know, Buffy. I know. And I'm so sorry."

She pressed herself deeper into his embrace, desperately needing the feeling of his arms safely around her body. Angel simply held her and let her cry at his chest, stroking the back of her head gently and whispering words of comfort in her ear.

Joyce watched them together and she knew Willow had been right. There was definitely something between them. And the way Angel seemed to care for her daughter was wonderful. She'd liked him from the beginning, now she was convinced he was right for Buffy. Oh how she wished those two would make it work. He seemed like the perfect boyfriend.

"Mommy, I need to pee," Steven's voice interrupted the emotional moment and everyone in the room, even Buffy, couldn't help but laugh. Doyle turned and looked at the little boy.

"Come on, my friend," he said with a smile. "I'll show you the way." He held out his hand and the boy took it without hesitation.

"Anyway," Joyce looked at her daughter. "Steven and I have to go," she told her. "He'll get tired soon. He needs to take his nap." She looked at the red-head: "What about you, Willow?"

Before she could answer, Angel looked at her: "Do you need to go home tonight?" he asked.

She looked at him with a questioning gaze: "Why?" "Well, Doyle and I have something we need to do tonight. And I wouldn't like Buffy on her own in my apartment. So I was thinking..."

"Of course I'll stay," she said immediately. "I don't even have to call someone as my boyfriend isn't in LA at the moment. He's in a band, you know and they've a gig for three nights in Santa Barbara."

"Alright," Joyce stood up and looked at Steven who'd just returned from the bathroom with Doyle. "Stevie, we have to leave. Please collect your cars and then say goodbye to your sister."

He nodded and crawled over the floor to get his cars.

"Honey," she turned to Buffy. "It was so good to see you again. And don't forget what I told you."

"I won't," her daughter assured her and both women embraced each other warmly. "See you soon."

"Yes, I truly hope that. Come whenever you want. I'll be happy. Oh and a last thing. Rupert and I will see 'The Father of the Bride' tonight." She quickly glanced at Angel and could see an amused glimpse in his eyes. "I'm sure he'll learn something." With a grin she turned, took the cars her son was holding up for her and put them back into her purse.

Steven went over to Buffy, she bowed down and they both embraced. Then he took his mother's outstretched hand and waving one of his little hands they both left the office.

"Doyle and I are leaving now too," Cordelia informed her friends. "I'm inviting myself to your apartment tonight, because I am SO not looking forward to another lonely evening, while my husband is chasing criminals. Besides, we can have a true girls talk then."

Doyle laughed and the couple left.

Willow smiled at Buffy and Angel: "If you two excuse me. I need to go to the bathroom." With a grin she turned to leave them alone.

"How do you feel?" he whispered looking deeply into her eyes.

"I cannot believe she lied to me," she replied with a sad voice.

"We still don't know what it means. Maybe she just wanted to forget about it," he tried to comfort her.

"Yeah," she nodded but didn't sound very happy.

"What did your mom say to you? You do not have to tell me of course..."

She reached out and laid a finger on his lips: "She wanted to tell me that she loved me and that she believed me," she smiled.

He cupped her face in one his hands: "I'm happy for you. See, I told you they'd come around."

She nodded: "You did."

"I missed you, you know," he whispered suddenly.

"Me too," she replied.

They smiled at each other, then leaned forward and their lips met in a sweet kiss, that became passionate in no time. Buffy moaned and opened her lips while his tongue darted out to explore her mouth, then he withdrew it and his teeth captured her lower lip. She moaned again, enjoying the shivers that kiss was sending through her whole body.

He pulled her closer, his hands wandering up and down her back while hers left his neck and found their way into the hair on the back of his head, pressing his lips tightly on hers.

When the need for air finally became an issue, both pulled back slightly, breathing heavily. Staring into each others eyes, their foreheads still touching, they never noticed that Willow had emerged from the bathroom and was now inspecting the ceiling.

Part 13

"Will it be dangerous tonight?," Willow wanted to know when she, Buffy and Angel were sitting in his apartment waiting for the others to arrive.

Angel was just coming back from the kitchen carrying a tray loaded with some sandwiches and steaming hot chocolate. He put it down on his small glass-table and after a short glance to Buffy he answered: "I don't think so. We're only going to check that club. I'm not expecting any real trouble."

"But there could be?", Buffy asked anxiously.

He shrugged, trying to sound as casual as possible: "In my line of work there's always trouble. But tonight's nothing special." He avoided looking at Buffy, too afraid his eyes would tell her the truth. He wasn't really lying to her either, he really didn't know what they'd to expect. But anything connected to Frankie Callan was dangerous, he was one of the big drug dealers in LA, he controlled the whole Beverly Hills-district, the most expensive drug-area. He was rich and powerful and when Dermot and Lex had been dealing with him it meant to be extra careful. But he couldn't tell Buffy, he didn't want her to worry the whole evening and possibly the night. She would be worried enough the way it was.

"This is a nice apartment," Willow said, looking around.

"Thanks," he smiled at her, grateful that she'd changed the subject.

The doorbell rang and Angel went to answer it, telling them to help themselves with the chocolate while he was going over. Opening the door he looked into the faces of a blonde guy and a dark haired girl. Both were smiling.

"Spike, Dru," he greeted them with a smile. "I'm so glad you could make it. Come in," he invited them and then pointed to the table. "I just made some hot chocolate, you want some?"

"No thanks," Dru replied and looked at her boyfriend. "But I'm sure my Spikey dies to get a cup. He's always the sweet guy."

Angel chuckled and looked at the blonde guy: "Get yourself a cup, you know where they are. I'm sure there's some left in the pot on the stove." Then he turned to the girls sitting on the sofa and the chair. "Buffy, Willow. These are Spike and Dru. I know them all my life and they're ... well, never take them too serious, especially Spike."

"Hey, don't insult me," the blonde guy grinned broadly.

"I could never insult you," Angel replied dryly. "Spike, Dru, these are Buffy and Willow. I'm working for Buffy at the moment. It's about her case we have to do our little trip tonight."

Dru nodded and went over to the girls, taking the seat opposite to Willow: "Hi," she greeted them and took a sandwich from the tray. The way these both acted it was clearly visible they were very close to Angel. Buffy couldn't help but feel a little bit jealousy rise in her. They knew everything about him, they knew him all his life. What would her life have been if she'd met Angel when she was sixteen, not Dermot. She sighed inwardly, the thought was utterly useless. You should never live in the past. She didn't even want to begin to think about her life if she'd never met Angel at all.

"So you're the one with the druggy ex?," Dru asked Buffy. It sounded harsh, but a warm smile told her, she was only trying to make it easy on her.

"Yeah," the blonde replied, holding the hot mug between her hands.

"From what Angel told me, he was an ass," the dark haired woman leaned back, taking another bite from her bread.

Buffy nodded and sipped at her chocolate. Angel sat down beside her and gave her a look: "Not hungry?"

"No," she shook her head. "Maybe later."

He laid a hand on her leg and gazed into her eyes: "Is something wrong?," he wanted to know.

Spike who came back from the kitchen holding his mug exchanged a glance with Dru. They both knew at once what was happening between those two.

Buffy sighed: "I think I'm just tired. I'm going to bed early and after a good night's rest I'll be like new tomorrow."

Angel gave her a smile and then he served himself with chocolate and sandwich, when the doorbell rang again. He was about to get up, when Spike said: "No, no, stay there, I'll get it."

Cordelia and Doyle entered the apartment which was crowded by now and the brunette grinned: "Spike, I would say it's nice to see you, but that'd be a lie." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then she looked at Buffy and Willow: "That guy is a pain in my ass. Nobody ever insulted me that often," she informed them, nodding in Spike's direction."

"Yeah, well, what can I say. He's hidden qualities," Dru grinned. "But sometimes I'm asking myself why I keep him. He can be quite embarrassing."

Her boyfriend only grinned back and then looked at Doyle: "How can you live with her? I mean she's attractive and all, but ..."

"Don't even say it," Cordelia warned the blonde guy. "We've some innocent girls around here."

Willow and Buffy exchanged a look and burst out in laughter. The blonde looked at Spike: "Don't hold back for our sake."

"Hey," the brunette yelled. "You should be supporting me, not encouraging him."

"Alright," Angel drank the last bit of his chocolate and stood up. "I think we better get going." He went over to a drawer and pulled out a knife which he hid under his trousers and a gun, that disappeared under his shirt on his back. "Fine. I'm ready."

Dru stood up as well: "It was nice meeting you," she said, looking at the two girls. "I hope we'll meet again," she added and her eyes rested on Buffy for a moment. Then she turned and joined Spike who was already waiting at the door.

Doyle leaned over to his wife and gave her a quick kiss: "We might be late. Just stay over for the night."

Cordelia nodded in response: "And you be careful, okay?" He gave her a smile and followed Spike and Dru.

Hearing the fear in the brunette's voice Buffy felt her own panic rising again. Angel had sounded so careless, but would he tell her if it was dangerous. He clearly was the protective type, always trying to keep the heavy stuff away from her. She saw him turning and when he was almost out of the door she jumped up and followed him: "Angel wait," she said and he turned immediately watching her with curious eyes.

"Be careful," she whispered.

He smiled: "I'm always careful. Don't worry"

"Promise you won't get hurt or anything," she pleaded.

"I'll do my best." He looked in her eyes for a long moment and by seeing the fear in them something in his head clicked. He was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that there could always happen something to him. So far it had been only her safety he'd thought about. Sure, he didn't really think he would be hurt tonight, but you never knew. And suddenly it was very important to tell her something, something he hadn't planned to tell her so soon, something he didn't know how she would take it. But he had to tell her now. He leaned forward and breathed a kiss on her lips. Then he took her hand: "I'll be back soon. I promise." He smiled.

"Come on, Angel. We're waiting," he heard Spike's voice from the stairs.

He planted a kiss on the back of her hand. Then he locked eyes with Buffy for a moment. His face becoming serious again he said: "Don't worry. I love you." Then he let go of her hand, turned and was gone before she could say another word.

*******

The club was crowded at that time of the day and the foursome had even difficulties to find Brad between all the people when they were peering through one of the side windows.

"Can you tell me how we're going to find that Lex-guy?" Doyle said with a loud sigh. "I mean we don't even know how he looks like." "Guys," Dru said with a voice that clearly told them how superior she felt. "I'm going to get you that guy.

Just wait a moment." And with this she disappeared round the corner and then they saw her enter the club. She wore a skirt with buttons and had opened them now, so one would see more of her long, well-formed legs.

"She's not doing the hooker-number again, is she?" Angel groaned.

"She's Dru," Spike replied with a shrug. "She does what she wants. Have you ever tried to say no to her?"

Angel and Doyle chuckled, while the blonde rolled his eyes. Dru was a nice girlfriend and he loved her, she was a master in Karate and Take-Won-Do, but she was also the most stubborn, thick-headed girl he'd ever met. And saying 'no' to her was as if talking to her in Chinese.

The three men saw her swaying her hips and moving from table to table seductively smiling at the men, sometimes talking with one and always getting angry looks from the girls. Then she stopped at Brad's table and they saw them talking for some minutes. He nodded and pointed at another table. She smiled, bowed down and kissed him. Spike growled and the other two laughed again. That was just like Dru.

Only a minute later she joined the men again: "Now," she grinned. "That was fun. I've got your guy. It's the blonde scar-face over there. The one in the red shirt. And for you Spike, you can stop being jealous. You're too old to act like a teenager."

As an answer he only shook his head and sighed loudly. What could he do, he loved her, he had to take her the way she was.

"And I've got something else," she continued while she was re-buttoning her skirt. "The tall black-haired guy at the counter is one of his boys. However it seems that Lex and Dermot weren't on the best terms when your girl's ex was killed. Obviously Lex has made a deal with Frankie Callan to sell him drugs and Dermot didn't approve. Frankie was pressing Lex for the stuff and Dermot wouldn't tell him where it was. So I'd say Lex had a good reason to get rid of his 'friend'."

"And you got all the information with one sway through the club," Doyle looked at her with new admiration.

She smiled sweetly: "My dear. There's nothing more communicative then a pair of long legs, believe me. Looking downstairs the guys forget everything, even who their loyalty belongs to."

"So what are we going to do now?" Spike asked and looked at Angel, whose eyes seemed far away.

"I was just thinking," the tall, dark haired man replied after a while. "How are we going to prove this. I mean, okay Lex has called me that he thinks Buffy has the stuff, but there's only my word for it and it still doesn't connect him with Dermot's or Anna's murder."

"I see only one way, as much as I hate it," Doyle said, avoiding his friend's eyes.

"No," Angel replied, his voice raising a little bit. "There's no way. We're not using her as a target to get the information."

"But he'll come for her anyway," Spike said looking at Dru. "We're just waiting for him. If he's really sure she's got the drugs he'll try to get them."

"He's right, Angel. The date for the deal is the day after tomorrow. He'll have to act soon. All we do is play the game our way. We will not just wait for him, we'll set up a trap, make him talk."

"You mean, *she* has to make him talk," Angel shook his head. "I am not going to endager her like this. No."

Dru laid a hand on his arm: "She'll be danger this way or the other. But this way we're going to be the ones who have the ace of hearts."

"We don't even know if he killed Dermot. Or Anna for that matter," Angel argued, desperately trying to find a way around this, although deep inside he already knew it was the only way. "We'll have to wait for the results of the finger-print analysis."

"Alright," Dru nodded. "We're waiting. But I'd bet my inheritance that they belong to one of his men. Who else shoud've gone into that apartment, searching it and killing the girl."

"I would like to know why she was on the picture with Dermot. What was their connection?" Angel leaned back at the wall.

"Didn't you plan to call Anna's mother today?," Spike wanted to know. "You told me something like that on the phone."

"I did," his friend answered. "But she wasn't at home. There was only her boyfriend and he told me that the memorial service will be tomorrow."

"I have a very bad idea," Dru said suddenly looking at Angel. "What if Anna knew Dermot. Alright, we know they knew each other, but what if she knew him well. What if," she paused for a moment. "well, what if she was a former girlfriend or a relative or something. Didn't Buffy tell you she saved her from Dermot with a gun in her hand. Why did she have a gun in her hand? Think guys. I mean, was she the type of girl running around with a gun. What if Dermot wasn't actually searching for Buffy, but for Anna, because she had something he wanted?" She began to pace in front of her friends, her mind racing: "I mean. You always thought he came for Buffy, but what if he met Buffy by accident, because they lived in the same apartment."

"That sounds very interesting," Angel looked at Dru. "It sounds very smart."

"I am a smart girl," she gave him a smile. "But let me continue. So Anna took something from Dermot. Meanwhile his partner makes a deal with Frankie. Let's guess again, that Dermot did approve of the deal first, but then his stuff was gone and now he was under pressure. He had to find Anna and found Buffy. Still having issues with her he took the opportunity to get his revenge for whatever his sick mind thought. So he kidnaps the girl and binds her to the bed. Let's assume that Anna is a clever girl and she hides the drugs where he cannot find them and maybe she can protect herself. Like I can. What he hopes now is that Buffy might know about the drugs and he plans to use the fact that she's still afraid of him." She paused again and looked from one man to the other, all were listening carefully. "Alright. Meanwhile Lex gets nervous because Frankie is pressing him for the stuff. They fight and Lex shoots his partner, then he takes the shocked girl, who might have seen the whole thing but doesn't remember and places the gun in her hand and then he calls the cops. That leaves him enough time to disappear. And then he finds out that both girls had a connection with Dermot. So first he goes with his men and kills Anna and now he's going for Buffy. Problem is, she doesn't know what's going on. Or we think she doesn't."

"She doesn't," Angel said, his voice sounding firm. "I'm sure she doesn't know anything about the whole deal."

"I believe you," Dru nodded. "But maybe she's seen something. Something she doesn't even know. Angel you have to talk to her again. Ask her about everything." When she saw the expression on his face she laid her hand on one of his arms. "I know it'll be hard for her. But there is no other way."

He sighed: "I know. And as much as I hate it, I think your theory sounds very good."

"Yeah, it does," Doyle agreed.

"My very smart girlfriend," Spike grinned and pulled her to him.

"Alright," Angel said finally. "We wait for Doug's results regarding the finger-prints and if they are supporting this theory I'm going to talk to Buffy. But I'm leaving it to her if she wants to help with this. I'm not going to put pressure on her. Is that undrstood?" He looked at his friends.

"Understood."

"Completely."

"Totally."

"Fine, then let's go home. We know how Lex looks now. Better we're starting to plan."

Part 14

'I love you'. These words were repeated in Buffy's mind again and again while she was still standing in the open door of Angel's apartment, long after his form had disappeared in the elevator. Did he really mean it? Could it be? Could he love her, really love her? After only a few days? Was it possible? Then she remembered his eyes looking into hers when he'd said these words. Of course he could, of course it was possible a voice in her head told her. She didn't know him any longer and loved him. Loved him with every fiber of her body and every part of her soul. Oh god, he loved her!

A warm feeling rose in her body, a feeling she'd never known before. Sure her mom loved her and Giles, well most of the time, but this. This was different. It was the feeling of being loved by a man.

She flinched a little bit when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Willow's concerned voice asked beside her.

She turned her head slightly and looked at her friend. Her eyes had a far away look: "What?"

"Are you okay?," the red-head asked again.

Buffy shook her head and focused on her friend: "Sure, sorry Will. I was just deep in thoughts."

"Yeah, obviously," Cordelia said from her chair. "We called your name about ten times and you wouldn't react."

"Sorry, Cordy." She looked at both her friends, weird, she counted Cordelia to her friends. Where did that come from? Then without another thought she blurted out: "He says he loves me."

Willow looked at her in surprise while a huge grin spread across the brunette's features: "Sure he does. I told you so! No big."

"He actually said that?," the red-head asked in awe.

Buffy could only nod. As if she was in trance she walked over to the couch and sat down. "Yes, he said 'I love you' and then disappeared."

"And you?," Willow wanted to know.

"What about me?," the blonde asked in confusion.

"Do you, I mean, do you love him?"

Buffy looked to the ground for a short moment, when she looked up she could not help but smile by seeing the knowing grin on Cordelia's face. "Yeah," she replied. I love him too." Suddenly it was no problem to say it, she didn't have to struggle with the words. The knowledge that he loved her, and she was sure he did now, made everything so easy.

"But you never said it, right?", Willow looked at her friend with huge eyes. "And are you sure? I mean, you don't know him very long."

"No, I mean, yes. I am sure. I cannot believe it, but I am sure. And yes, we don't know each other for a long time but deep inside I've the feeling I know him all my life. As if ... well, I know that sounds strange, but as if we're made for each other, then thrown out into the world and damned to look for each other to find peace. I've never felt like this before and I doubt I could feel this with another person. When he's around it's as nothing else matters and as if nothing could happen to me. It's incredible." And it was exactly how she felt, incredible. There was no other word. This wonderful man loved her and made her feel special. It was a feeling as if doors opened in her soul, doors that had been closed many years ago, but also doors that were never opened before. Doors to deep, hidden feelings, feelings she didn't know existed until the day she'd met him.

"Wow," the red-head breathed. "Buffy that ... that sounds ..."

"Yeah, it sounds nice and all," Cordelia's voice was bored, but she had a warm smile in her eyes, "but as nice as love is, I'm hungry. Dru's eaten the last sandwich."

"How can you think about food in such a romantic moment?" Willow asked in disbelief.

"What?," the brunette shrugged. "Sorry for being hungry sometimes. Besides, if you're going to declare your love to him it's much more romantic without your stomach rumbling."

*******

It was quiet in the car on the way back to his apartment, there wasn't really anymore to say. Doyle was staring out of the window while Dru and Spike were making out in the back. Angel tried to concentrate on the traffic but his thoughts were constantly drifting to Buffy. He tried to surpress the panic that was rising in him again and again when he thought what she had to face. His mind was turning the facts round and round but the outcome was always the same. Dru was right. It was much better to set the trap than to just wait for them to come and get her. And they would come. The phone call had proved it.

Angel felt his hands begin to tremble and tightened his grip. She would be in the line of fire, she would be the bait and that meant danger. A man like Lex, who had killed before, wouldn't hesitate for a moment to take another life.

Her life.

The last thing he had searched for was love, but with Buffy he never had a chance. He was in love before he could even begin to built his defenses. He laughed inwardly. Love at first sight. It sounded so stupid, as if taken from a cheap romance novel. Only a few days ago he would have laughed out loud by the mere thought, but now it had happened, happened to him.

Was it right he'd told her about his feelings? But the urge had been so strong, so overwhelming. The sudden knowledge that these were the most important words in his life. But did this give him the right to burden her? After all she'd gone through he was sure she didn't want love in her life. Sure, he knew her body responded to him, but that didn't mean anything. It was a physical reaction that had nothing to do with love - not necessarily.

What would happen when he came back to the apartment? Would she try to stay away from him? Would she be scared and uncomfortable in his presence. It was the last thing they needed, not now when the danger was so close. For this she had to trust him completely. The question was, could she still do it? Or would she be angry because he'd overstepped his boundaries.

"You are sometimes looking on the road, right?," Doyle asked beside him, interrupting his train of thoughts.

"Sure, why?"

"You seemed far away," his friend remarked with a smile on his face. "I suppose at your apartment with a certain blonde girl."

"God, Doyle," Angel groaned.

"Hey, she's a nice girl. It'll be good for you, you'll see. By the way, what did you tell her, you know, when we were waiting for you just before we left?"

Angel didn't answer for a while. He gave Doyle a short glance and then he sighed: "Maybe something very stupid."

*******

The three girls looked up when the door of the apartment opened and Doyle and Angel entered. Cordelia jumped up and embraced her husband immediately. "You're early. What happened," she wanted to know.

"I'll tell you later, Delia," Doyle replied with a look at Angel. "I think we're heading home. Willow, can we give you a ride or are you staying over here?"

The red-head looked at Buffy, a little smile spreading over her face: "I think I'm going home, if you don't mind."

"No, it's fine with me," the blonde said and smiled back. "Thanks for staying."

Before the three left, Angel said to Doyle: "We'll meet at eight sharp and get me that number until then."

"Sure," he grinned. "Goodnight you both."

With this he closed the door behind him.

Buffy looked at Angel with a frown: "What number?"

"Lex's cell phone number," he explained.

Her eyes went wide: "So you found him?"

"Yeah, we did," he answered.

They stared at each other. After a while Buffy cleared her throat: "Where are Spike and Dru?"

"They left directly in their car. It's almost midnight and they'll be in the office at eight tomorrow morning." He turned and looked out of the window.

Buffy was confused. She didn't know what she'd expected, but this wasn't it. Ever since he'd come back he'd been distant. As if he wanted to be anywhere but here with her. She had to know what had happened. "Angel," she said softly. When he didn't respond, she said again: "Angel, please talk to me. Are you angry?"

He whirled round: "Angry?," his face was full of disbelief. "Why would I be angry?" He felt stupid, he'd hurt her with his distant behavior. And he didn't want to hurt her.

"I don't know. But you're so different. What happened?" She felt fear rising in her, would he regret his words, these beautiful words, that meant the world to her.

"There's a lot we've to talk about, but first of all. I'm sorry. I should've never told you about my feelings. It was totally unprofessional and it won't happen again. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. It's the last thing we're needing now. For the coming days you have to trust me, completely."

Now it was her turn to look disbelieving: "But why would I be uncomfortable around you? And I trust you, I told you before."

He stared at her. Could it be? "Doesn't it bother you, that I'm in love with you? I'm sure it's the last thing you want now. After all you've been..."

"You're right," she interrupted him, her voice sounding soft. "I was certainly not looking for love." She laughed shortly. "Most certainly not. But obviously it sometimes happens and you can do nothing against it. I never thought it would be possible, but now it seems I have to believe it."

He stepped closer, his eyes never leaving hers: "Buffy, I don't want you to say something because of my stupid declaration." He felt his heart beating faster and faster. Could it really be what he hoped and feared at the same time.

"Hush," she whispered. "It wasn't stupid. These were the most beautiful words I've ever heard and ever since you've said them I'm feeling as if I'm on cloud no. nine." She smiled and reached out her hand. He took it and sat down beside her. "You don't know how frightened I was, what was going on in my mind, having all these powerful feelings ever since you've stepped into my life only four short days ago." Her smile grew even wider when she saw the look in his eyes. Her heart was racing and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. "I don't feel uncomfortable around you because I love you too," she finally whispered looking deeply into his eyes.

For a short while it seemed as if he hadn't understood her, but then he reached out and crushed her to him, hugging her so tightly that she thought she wouldn't be able to breathe. "Oh god, Buffy," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. He pulled back slightly and cupped her face in his hands. Then he began to kiss her eyes, her cheeks, her nose and finally her mouth. When they finally needed to come up for air he pulled back again and looked deeply into her eyes: "I love you," he repeated his words from hours ago and Buffy had the feeling her heart would burst and her soul was singing in joy. "But this is the worst moment to find out about it," he added with a sheepish smile.

She chuckled slightly: "That's certainly an extraordinary declaration of love."

He chuckled too: "Yeah." Then he sighed and his face was serious: "Buffy, I cannot even begin to tell how happy I am that you return my feelings, but there are things we've to talk about and they're too urgent to push them away for a while."

She nodded: "Alright. Tell me."

He kissed her again on her mouth, this time gently, lovingly, then he let go of her face, took one of her hands instead, leaned back on the couch and began to tell her Dru's theory what might have happened. Emphasizing the fact that he strongly believed it to be true. The whole time he was holding her hand, stroking the palm with his thumb, sometimes leading it to his mouth to kiss it gently. When he was finished he waited a moment, then he dared to look at her.

"So you think he'll come for me to get his drugs that I don't have," she asked, her voice sounding surprisingly calm.

He nodded: "Yes. The phone call was prove enough. If Dru's theory is true and I think it is, he's killed before. Nothing's going to stop him."

"Alright," she said again. "Tell me, what I have to do." She looked at him, her eyes resting on his face, her hand firmly laying in his'.

"Are you sure?" his eyes searched hers trying to see the truth.

"Of course I'm sure. There's no other choice, right?" She sounded calm. Seeing his eyes she knew he was scared to death and usually she would have been frightened too, but with him near by, with the knowledge of their new found feelings for each other she felt a strength she never believed she'd find in herself.

"No, no other choice," he said and closed his eyes. The panic was there again. The panic to lose her, the panic something could happen to her and the certain knowledge that if something should happen to her, he wouldn't know how to go on.

"You're scared, aren't you?" she asked softly, her hand lightly stroking his cheek.

He swallowed hard and forced himself to open his eyes again. "If something should happen to you..."

"Nothing will happen to me," she assured him. "I trust you."

A pained cry escaped his mouth and he jumped up from the sofa. Buffy stared at him. He abruptly turned his back to her: "Don't trust me," he shouted. "I've failed before. Someone died because of me."

His whole body was trembling and Buffy felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She stood up and leaned her head at his back. Then slowly she encircled his waist from behind and held him close. His hands covered hers and she could feel them shivering. "Shhh," she whispered. "It wasn't your fault, Angel. Don't do this. I'm not Sarah. Everything will be alright."

He turned round and faced her again, cupping one of her cheeks in one hand. The love radiating from his eyes almost took her breath away. She felt a warm and comforting feeling run over her body. "I love you so much. I couldn't bear if anything should happen to you," he confessed.

"I know, I feel the same," she whispered and held him closer. "Just hold me, Angel. Just hold me."

Part 15

When Buffy woke up the next morning she needed some seconds to realise that she'd slept on the sofa in Angel's arms. Looking at his face she smiled. His eyes were still closed and he seemed relaxed.

She loved him. Oh, she loved him so much and it was good to admit it. And he loved her back. This was too good to be true. But there were also shadows hanging over their happiness. First of all this accusation for murder and Dermot's friends who were threatening her. But also the past. Mostly mine, Buffy thought sadly. She hadn't exactly told Angel in words, but she was sure he'd understood. After Dermot had beaten and finally raped her she'd felt numb and empty. And she'd felt dirty, extremely dirtly. It was even worse because she'd had sex with him before, willingly. She hadn't even realized what he was about to do before it was too late, when he was finally laying on her, she'd had not chance to defend herself.

That was another problem. The feeling of being helpless. She'd boyfriends afterwards but it never became serious, for once because she never loved one of them, but also because she couldn't stand the idea to sleep with a man. The experiences with Dermot were so imprinted in her head. Surprisingly she wasn't afraid of Angel. Or maybe not yet. What would happen if he wanted more? Would she back away again and would he leave her as the others had?

Had she not fallen in love with other men, because she couldn't anymore and was the fact she was in love with Angel a sign she was healing? Would that also mean, she could trust him further on? She sighed and that moment she felt Angel stir and open his eyes.

Blinking to adjust his eyes to the light he smiled: "Morning."

"We've fallen asleep on the sofa," she said.

"Hmmm, it was nice," he replied. "Holding you in my arms, I mean."

She smiled back: "It was nice to be held." She reached up and stroked his cheek.

He bent down and brushed her lips lightly with his. "I'm making us breakfast and some coffee." He looked to his watch: "And then we have to go, it's seven and I've told the others we meet at eight at the office."

Buffy felt fear rising in her: "So what's going to happen today?"

"We'll discuss it later, okay? First coffee and breakfast."

She nodded: "Alright, I'm just going to have a quick shower and change." Smiling at him she stood up and disappeared in her bedroom.

*********

"Did you sleep well?," Joyce asked casually when she and Giles were sitting at their breakfast with Steven between them.

"What's that supposed to mean?," he said quirking an eyebrow. What was she up to now?"Mommy, can I get some more milk please?" the little boy asked.

Pouring him some more milk into his cup, Joyce smiled: "Uhm, I just thought you had a lot to think about."

He frowned: "You mean that stupid film? Certainly not."

"Of course," she replied and tried to hide a smile. Men were just so predictable. Or did he really think she hadn't felt him turning the whole night.

His frown deepened: "I did not think about that film. Why should I? I'm not at all like that stupid man. How he was hovering over his daughter. It was sickening."

"You think so," she raised an eyebrow. "I think you're pretty much behaving like him. All protective and fatherly."

"Joyce. This is different. The boy in the film was a nice young man, not some detective who does things I don't even want to think about to earn his money." He poured himself some more coffee. She was not thinking straight, mothers always looked for son-in-law prospects. He slightly shook his head and sighed.

"Let's say like helping our daughter?" She wouldn't give up the subject.

"I'm not against him helping Buffy. I just don't want to get her involved with him. We know nothing about him and the fact he's PI doesn't sound trustworthy for me." Why wouldn't she understand?

"But you thought he was trustworthy enough to deal with her murder case. Rupert, you're behaving ridiculous. I've met him. He's a very nice young man and obviously in love with our daughter."

His head shot up: "In love?," his voice sounded alarmed. "How the hell should he be in love with her? They know each other for only some days."

She sighed loudly: "In some cases it only needs one moment to know who's right for you. I think they're very cute together."

"Cute," he echoed. "Did you forget the last time when she got close with a guy, she disappeared for six years."

"Oh god, Rupert," Joyce groaned. "She was a lovestruck teenager then. Buffy's grown up so much. I can see it in her eyes. She's in love with Angel and he's in love with her, I'm happy for those two."

"Now she's in love too," he shook his head again. This isn't happening, I'm still dreaming, this is a nightmare. "Joyce I think your imagination runs wild. They know each other for four or five days. They cannot be in love."

"Cannot," she quirked an eyebrow. "Pray tell me, how are you so clever to now that?"

"Angel's not right for her," he insisted not replying to her last question.

"Angel's nice," Steven said suddenly grabbing another donut.

Giles gave his son an irritated look: "How do you know that?"

"I like him, and Cordy too and Buffy." He smiled happily at his father who rolled his eyes.

"What's this? Now you even use my son to convince me to give my permission for this relationship."

Joyce nearly choked in her tea: "I think you're living in the wrong century, Rupert. There's nothing that needs your permission. Buffy's a legal adult and for that she can do what she wants. No I'm not trying to convince you to give your 'permission'. I just think our daughter would like our approval. But whatever you do, I will support her. And that means regarding this stupid accusation for murder as well as in her relationship with Angel. I truly hope it'll work, because I have a very good feeling about those two." She stood up and glared at him: "And now please excuse me, Steven needs to go to school." She held out her hand for her son and they left for the bathroom. In the doorway she turned around: "And while we're at it. As long as you don't give up this stupid attitude and your hostility against Angel I think you'll find the guest-room very comfortable." With that she was gone.

Rupert Giles sat over his coffee for a long while after that, desperately thinking what suddenly went wrong in his life.

******

The tension was almost palpable in Angel's office. They were all assembled there and without letting go of Buffy's hand he explained the plan: "What we're going to do is this." He looked at the blonde girl:

"Buffy will call Lex and offer him the drugs. It all depends that you can convince him you really have them. Do you think you can do it?"

"I can try," she offered weakly. She felt sick, the fear was creeping through her body and she desperately held onto Angel's hand to steady herself.

"No," came Dru's sharp reply. "There's no room for 'try'. Buffy you have to sound firm and steady. He has to believe you. This is our best shot. After that you'll tell him where to meet him. He'll not like it and say another place and time but you've to insist on your ideas. And then we'll get him."

"Alright," Buffy replied and tried not to shiver. She wasn't really sure what she was afraid off, the fact that Lex would probably try to kill her or that he was a reminder of all the things connected to Dermot.

"The next step will be the meeting," Angel continued. "You have to make him talk. We think he was the one to kill Dermot and maybe you can get him to a point where he's confessing it." He swallowed hard and locked eyes with her: "It'll be the moment he's sure he's going to kill you."

She closed her eyes for a moment: "Okay, I'll do it. I know this is the only way."

"It is," Spike looked at her and smiled. "I know it sounds scary, but you've been through a lot already. This is only the last chapter to close the book."

"You're strong Buffy, I'm sure you can do it," Cordelia laid a hand on the other girl's shoulder.

"You'll have a microphone on you," Angel said. "We'll record everything. And Spike phoned his old friend from the LAPD, Daniel Lansky, he'll come with us. We'll be with you all the time. You'll never be alone." He tried to give his voice a casual note. But all he wanted was scream and run. Hide her somewhere so nothing and nobody would harm her. The mere thought she'd be hurt was making him sick in the stomach.

"I know," she smiled and was relieved her voice sounded normal again. She reached out and stroked his cheek. "I know you'll be there."

Doyle cleared his throat: "Alright kids." He reached in his pocket and produced a small piece of paper. "That's the guy's phone number. All you have to do now is deal and believe you're the best actress on this planet."

Part 16

It was already dark when they arrived at the "Red Dawn"-Club. Angel stopped his car and switched off the ignition. He turned and looked at the three people on the back-seat, Spike, Dru and Doyle: "I think we better wait a moment until Dan Lansky and his partner will arrive."

The three nodded and he turned back to the girl on his side. Buffy was biting on her lower lip. Angel reached out and took her hand: "You'll see, everything will be alright," he tried to assure her, although the fear was knotting his guts. He was surprised his hand didn't shiver.

She looked at him and tried to smile: "I know. I just hope he'll buy it and I can make him talk."

"You will," he replied, squeezing her hand. "I believe in you, Buffy. You've been so strong the whole time. You can do it. As Spike said it's the last chapter to close that book so you can move on."

"Move on," she laughed, but it didn't sound happy. "For six years I was only running away. I don't know if I still know what moving on is." She looked at their entwined hands: "Will you be still there? I mean when this is all over, will you stay with me?"

"If you want me to," he said. "It's up to you."

She nodded but didn't look at him. Then Angel saw a car coming up behind them and turned to his friends: "That's Dan I believe." He took a deep breath and again looked at Buffy: "It's time." She nodded again and they climbed out of the car.

Dan and his partner, a guy Spike introduced as Sam Lowell, came towards them and everybody shook hands. Dan gazed at the blonde girl: "Okay Buffy, I think Angel and Spike have explained everything to you. We just make a test with your microphone, okay. You go a little bit over there and say something."

Buffy did so and when the equipment worked she came back. "Alright," Sam pointed towards the club. "Dan and I will be inside. There is a backside door. Angel, Dru and Spike will go with you and be right around the corner. Buffy, you have to go on your own." He smiled: "You can do that. You're tough girl, Spike says."

She gave a half-smile: "Tough girl, uh? Sounds good, I hope I can live up to your expectations."

The two police officers looked at the group, nodded and then disappeared in the club, while the others made their way to the backside of the building. Angel glanced at his watch: "He'll be there any minute. Buffy," he turned to the girl: "I believe in you, you can do this." He paused for a moment and then leaned towards her: "I love you, never forget that," he whispered near her ear.

She smiled and mouthed: 'I love you too.' Then she squeezed his hand again and stepped into the dimly lightened back-yard. Many thoughts were racing through her head, would Lex believe her, would she make him talk, would she be able to end the nightmare today, leave Dermot and all her past behind her. And then, what would happen to Angel and her? She loved him, but they'd never talked about the future. Deep inside she knew they had avoided the subject, both of them, because of the danger that was still hanging over them. She was still in her thoughts when suddenly a tall scar-faced man stepped into the light. Lex.

Angel drew a sharp breath when he saw the figure coming towards Buffy. His mind was running wild too, but the dominant feeling was fear. He'd never been so afraid in his whole life. He knew it was maybe her best shot to prove her innocence, but suddenly it didn't look as intriguing as it had. All he wanted now was to keep her safe. He felt Spike's hand on his shoulder and turned. His friend smiled and nodded to show him he understood.

"Hi Buffy," Lex began, while he was stepping closer. "I'd say it's nice to see you, but we both know that'd be a lie."

"Lex," Buffy nodded.

"I didn't think you'd remember me," he tilted his head a little bit. "I never thought you'd be so clever to take the stuff yourself. I thought you were a little scared lamb."

"Looks can be disguising," the blonde said and was surprised how cool her voice sounded.

*

Dru turned to Spike and grinned: "She's doing it like a pro."

"Sounds good," her blond boyfriend replied. Angel couldn't say anything, his mouth was dry and his heartbeat fast.

*

"Obviously," Lex grinned. "Frankly I never understood why Dermot was so obsessed with you, but now I think there might be more in you than we all have guessed. You seemed like pure innocence, little girl. Anna," he smiled, but his eyes were cold," yeah, Anna, that was another thing. She was really hot. And she would do it with everyone. Little, cheap whore. It was a pleasure to erase her unworthy life from this planet."

He killed Anna, Buffy thought. Oh god, he really did it. She took a deep breath: "So you killed her," she tried to sound casual. "Well, after killing Dermot this wasn't really something new, was it?" How can I be so cool, she thought. Must be the shock.

He raised his eyebrows: "You think so?" He leaned his right side at the wall of the building. "But we didn't come to talk about Dermot, did we? Where is my stuff, little girl?"

"I want to talk about Dermot though," she replied. "I would like to know who killed him. To say thank you, you know. I hated him."

"Did you?," Lex let out a short laugh. "Well, I think most of us did. He was a greedy bastard. You really don't remember, do you. Yes, many people hated him, but only one hated him enough." He laughed again seeing her questioning gaze: "You're really a little innocent girl. Anna killed him, sweet Buffy. She killed him and took the stuff. I didn't plan to kill her that night in her apartment. But she attacked me," he shrugged. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter. And now my drugs please."

The same moment Sam and Dan crashed through the back-door of the club while Angel, Dru and Spike came around the corner. Lex looked around, wildly: "Mike, Phil," he shouted to call his partners for help. When they didn't show he cried: "Damn cowards." Then his eyes fell on Buffy: "You little betraying whore," his voice was dangerous and before anyone could react he produced a knife and stabbed the girl right in her stomach.

Angel's eyes widened in shock when he realized he was too late: "Buffy," he cried and caught her in his arms before she hit the ground.

She looked at him with wide, almost surprised eyes: "Angel," she breathed. Then she was unconscious.

*******

He had been in waiting rooms of hospitals before but he couldn't remember that he'd ever felt like this. Angel sat in the corner on the ground, his knees pulled to his chest, his forehead resting on them. He had failed her. He should have never allowed her to do this, to try to prove her innocence this way. Oh god, what had he done. This was all his fault. If she would die it would be his fault.

He had been with her in the ambulance and now she was in surgery for almost an hour. Doyle had called her parents, Angel wasn't sure if his voice would work properly. All he felt was fear and guilt. He would never forgive himself for endangering her life.

Spike and Dru were gone with the police and Lex to complete the paperwork there, while Doyle had picked up Cordelia and they were now sitting next to Angel in the waiting - room.

"Angel," a voice sounded from the doorway.

He looked up and saw Joyce Giles standing there, her face wet with tears.

"Mrs. Giles," he gazed at her. "She's still in surgery," he answered her unspoken question.

She stepped closer and sat herself on the chair beside him: "What happened?"

"She was stabbed in the stomach. It was my fault," he said without looking at her. "I should have never allowed her to do this. I should've known how dangerous it was."

She laid a hand on his shoulder: "Buffy can be very stubborn."

"Angel, man, it was the only way, and you know it. Don't blame yourself," Doyle said. "Mrs. Giles it's nobody's fault. It just happened, we weren't fast enough. The swine stabbed her with his knife before anyone could react."

Joyce nodded and squeezed Angel's shoulder: "Don't blame yourself. I know you love my daughter, you would never endanger her intentionally."

For the first time he looked up: "But it was my fault. I was responsible for her. I should've never gotten emotionally involved. That's the first thing you learn. Never attach yourself to your clients, it clouds your judgement."

"Oh Angel, we cannot always control our feelings and emotions, sometimes they are stronger than we are," Joyce smiled at him. "And it is wonderful."

He shook his head stubbornly and put his forehead back on his knees, when Giles stepped into the room and looked at his wife: "I talked to a nurse. They're through with the surgery and they'll bring her to the IU now. The doctor will talk to us soon." He shot the man on the floor a deadly glare. For him, Angel was the one responsible for this. He hadn't trusted the guy with his daughter and this was the proof he'd been right.

Only five minutes later the doctor came: "Mr. and Mrs. Giles?"

Joyce and Giles stood up and the doctor smiled: "I think she'll make it. The stab wound was pretty deep and it went right into the liver, but we could sew the damage and with a little luck, she'll be okay."

"Thank you so much," Joyce was relieved. "Can we see her?"

"But only for a minute or two. She'll sleep until tomorrow morning. You should all go and have some sleep too."

"Alright," Giles smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," the doctor said and left.

Giles looked at his wife: "You go first." Joyce nodded and left the room.

"Angel," Cordelia looked at her friend who hadn't lifted his head during the whole conversation. "Doyle and I go now. I hope that's alright."

He nodded and she asked: "Will you be alright?"

He raised his head, tears were running down his face: "I'm okay. Thanks for being here."

She went over to him and took his hand: "She'll be okay. That's all that matters, Angel. Don't blame yourself."

He nodded again and the couple left.

Giles took a seat and looked at the man on the other side of the room: "That's the way you're protecting my daughter," his voice sounded angry. "You should've stayed away from her."

"I'm sorry," Angel replied in a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

"It's a little late for this," the older man went on. "I think it would be the best you stay away from her now. She has to recover from this and all she needs is rest and peace."

Angel rose to his feet, but his body still leaned against the wall. He didn't say anything, he only stared at Giles. Buffy had trusted him and now she was laying in a hospital bed with a stab wound. He had failed her like he had failed Sarah. He pushed himself from the wall and without a word he left the room.

In the corridor he almost bumped into Joyce who was coming back from Buffy's room. When she saw him she smiled: "I have a good feeling, Angel. She'll make it."

He nodded and wanted to turn towards the exit when she held him back: "Don't you want to see her?," she asked.

"I don't know." He took a deep breath: "Yes, I'll go and see her," a sad smile played on his lips. "One last time," he whispered, so that Joyce wouldn't hear it. He smiled at her and she smiled back. Then she turned to join her husband in the waiting-room.

*

Angel entered Buffy's room and walked over to her bed. She looked pale and was hooked to several tubes, but the constant beeping of the monitor told him that she was alright. As alright as she could be with a stab wound.

He moved closer, sat on the chair and took her hand: "I'm so sorry, Buffy," he said and a tear run over his cheek. "You trusted me and I failed you. You'll never know how sorry I am. Your father is right. I'll stay away from you, you're not safe with me." He pressed a kiss on the back of her hand: "I love you. I'll always love you, but I'm not good for you. Be safe, my love." He stood up and kissed gently her forehead: "Good-bye, my love."

Then he turned and left the room.

Part 17

Buffy lay on her bed in her old room and was staring at the ceiling. Three weeks since Lex had stabbed her with his knife, ten days since she had been allowed to go home. And still no sign of him. He hadn't shown up in the hospital, he hadn't phoned - nothing. All Cordelia had found on his desk had been a note that he would be out of town for a while and contact her and Doyle in a few weeks.

Why had he left her? How could he just walk out of her life like this - without a single word. Had their love meant so little to him? Or had all been just a way for him to make her feel safe during the time he was responsible for her? No, that couldn't be true she tried to assure herself. It wasn't like that. He had been so loving and it had been in his eyes. People couldn't lie with their eyes, not people like Angel. But what had happened? What could have caused him to leave her - alone and empty?

She felt lonely and numb during the days, but she was crying through the nights, when the darkness took everything away that was connected to light and life. Did her parents hear her, she wondered.

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and Joyce entered her room: "Hi honey, how do you feel?"

"Alright," Buffy replied, but her voice sounded lifeless.

"Does it still hurt?," her mother wanted to know.

"No," her daughter answered, touching her wound. It had healed nicely. But it hurts, oh god it hurts so much more somewhere else, she thought. "Mom," she began. "Is it possible to stop loving someone?"

"Would that someone be a handsome, dark-haired guy named Angel?"

Buffy nodded and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "I miss him so, mom. Why did he leave me? How could he just walk out of my life like this?"

Joyce took her daughter's hand and looked into her hazel eyes: "I don't know honey. I had such a good feeling, I told him it wasn't his fault and he seemed to believe me. I don't know what happened." She shook her head to show how helpless she felt.

"Giles says I shouldn't dwell on it, but I can't. I love him, oh god, I love him so much." She threw her arms around her mother's neck and cried on her shoulder. Joyce hugged her tightly. Her heart went out for Buffy, there had been so much pain in her life and all that she wished was for her to be happy.

After a while the crying stopped and the blonde girl pulled back: "I'm sorry, but it seems I feel like crying all the time these days."

"I understand," her mother replied softly. "It hurts. Oh, I want to kill him for hurting you like this!"

Buffy couldn't help but smile: "You're a great mom, do you know that?"

"It was time you would realize that," Joyce joked. "Now, my darling. You should take a nap and later I'll bring you some soup. How does this sound?"

"Great," her daughter said. "And thanks."

Joyce stood up and smiled at her. And she made a vow that she would find out what had happened.

******

It appeared that she didn't have to, because only half an hour later while she was standing in the kitchen making some soup for Buffy the door bell rang.

Joyce was surprised to see Cordelia standing there and more so when she saw the angry face of the young woman.

"Mrs Summers. Can I talk to you? It is quite important, I think," she said with an urgent voice.

"Of course." The older woman stepped back to let her in and pointed towards her living-room. "Please take a seat. Do you want coffee?"

Cordelia raised her hand: "No thanks. I just have to talk to you. It won't take long." She sat down and when Joyce did the same she began: "This morning I had a call from Georgie, she's Angel's sister. She's living in New York and it appears that Angel is with her." She looked at her lap for a moment and then back into Joyce's eyes: "It seems he's miserable and refused to talk about it. But yesterday night he and Gavin, that's Georgie's husband, had a long night and drank a little bit too much. It loosened Angel's tongue." She paused again and Joyce looked at her expectantly.

"Go on. What did he say? Buffy's miserable too."

The brunette smiled: "I know. Willow told me. It seems that a certain step-father of a certain client confirmed his feeling of being guilty. And that he even convinced him that staying away from said client would be the best for all parts."

"You mean, that..." No, this can't be, Joyce thought, he wouldn't do this. He would never go so far, would he?

Cordelia nodded: "Yes, when he and Angel were alone in the waiting room he accused him that he wasn't able to look out for Buffy and that he was the last person she would need right now. I don't know if you know that, Mrs. Summers, but some years ago, Angel's girlfriend. Well, it wasn't something serious. Nevermind, Sarah, that was her name, was killed by an assassin. He shot her while they were kissing. Angel had a hard time to get over this and ..."

"... for that he was an easy victim for Rupert," Joyce finished her sentence in a voice that held barely hidden anger. "I cannot believe it," she stood up and paced the room. "How could he do it? I know he didn't approve of their relationship, but his," she waved her hands, "it's unforgivable. She's been so miserable." Suddenly she stopped pacing and faced her visitor again: "Let's forget Rupert for a moment, he's mine to deal with. The more important question is, how can we get Angel back here? I strongly believe they have just to talk with each other and everything will be fine."

Cordelia grinned: "Now, I've already taken care of this. I just wanted to know if you're game."

"I'm in," Joyce confirmed her enthusiastically.

The brunette looked at her watch: "Angel's plane should land in LA right now. Doyle went to the airport to get him there. He confirmed him this morning that we had a complicated case where we need his help. And he'll bring him right here to your house."

Mrs. Summers grinned too: "Sounds great."

"All I have to do is call Doyle to tell him, you're okay with this," she looked at Joyce.

"Sure, take the phone. I'm going to tell Buffy. She has to know this at once, although it'll hurt her that her *step-father* was behind all her misery." She sighed. "I'll be back in five minutes."

Cordelia had already dialed: "Doyle," she said into the phone. "Get him here. Now."

*********

Angel watched the LA traffic passing by when he drove with Doyle towards the agency or that was what his partner had told him. New York had been hell or close to it. He'd never thought he'd miss her so much. He missed her every second of every day. If he hadn't been so sure before he would be now, he loved her. Truly, madly, deeply. He laughed inwardly, his sister had played that song all the time and it had cut right into his heart.

And now he was back. In LA, where she was only minutes away from him, but it could've been the moon as well. He wasn't sure anymore if he'd been right leaving her, but he couldn't go back now. She'd hate him and she had every right to do so. He'd left her, wounded, in the hospital. He'd listened to the words of her father, step-father, he corrected himself quickly. All of a sudden it seemed terribly important, that they weren't natural relatives. But he had felt so guilty that night and Giles's words hat hit home. He just couldn't deal with it.

Angel suddenly realised that they weren't going anywhere near the agency: "Doyle, where are we going?"

"Not to the office," his friend replied dryly.

He sighed: "I've already noticed. But I wanted to know *where* we're going and not where not."

"There is this urgent case. A girl, blonde, nice, but terribly miserable, because her boyfriend just left her in the hospital without a word." Doyle didn't look at his friend, but grinned.

"No," Angel sat straight up in his seat. "Doyle," he said warningly. "Don't do that."

"You've no choice. We're going there and you talk to her. I promised. And you know Delia, you wouldn't want me to sleep on the sofa for a week, would you?"

"Alright. I'm coming with you. But just for the record. I think this isn't your best idea ever. She'll hate me. And as a result it'll only hurt her more."

But Doyle didn't seem to listen, so Angel just leaned back in his seat. He should've known it. They tricked him. Christ, I only hope she can forgive me that.

********

Half an hour later Joyce came back into the living-room, followed by a pale Buffy, whoes face showed that she'd been crying, but whose eyes showed new found hope. "Hi Cordy," she greeted the brunette.

"Hi Buffy," she greeted back.

"I'm going to get us some coffee," Joyce announced and disppeared in the kitchen.

"Mom told me," the blonde began. "I cannot believe Giles did this."

"Where is he?," Cordelia wanted to know.

"Gone to the zoo, with Steven," Buffy replied and sat down. "He's seen every day how much I missed him and he didn't say a word. God I'm so angry with him, but also sad. How could he do that to me ... us? I can only imagine how much Angel's hurting. I know how much he still suffered because of Sarah."

"Yeah," the brunette said. "Angel's a good friend. And he had a hart time when the thing with Sarah happened. They weren't really close you know," she explained. "Well, they were sleeping with each other, but it wasn't," she paused for a moment, "it wasn't the same. When he looked at you, you could see he loved you. He never looked at her like that. They liked each other, they had fun together, but it wasn't the same."

Buffy smiled: "You don't have to assure me, Cordy. I'm not jealous and I already knew that. He told me. God, I thought he wouldn't love me and now I hear that my own father did this."

"Now here you go," Joyce smiled when came back with a tray loaded with coffee-mugs and some crackers. "Take yourself a mug. Buffy just one thing. When your father comes back, let me deal with him. I don't want to have any quarrels in front of Steven, okay?"

"Alright mom, I'll try, but I can't promise anything. Right now I'm so angry."

Mrs. Summers planted a hand on her daughter's arm: "I understand honey, but please try."

Buffy nodded and the same moment the door-bell rang.

Part 18

"No, mom, let me go," Buffy touched the arm of her mother and held her back.

Joyce looked at her daughter for a moment, then she smiled, nodded and settled down beside Cordelia.

Buffy took a deep breath and opened the door. Doyle stood there and smiled sheepishly while Angel only stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"Hi Doyle," the blonde said and smiled. "Why don't you just go in. Your wife is already there." Then she looked at Angel: "It's like a big family reunion."

He still couldn't say a word. She was pale and fragile and you could see she still suffered from the stab wound but she was taking his breath away. He tore his gaze away from her face and wanted to enter the house when he felt her hand on his chest: "No, mister. You're not coming in."

"Sorry," he whispered. "I told Doyle it wasn't a good idea." He tried desperately not to show how much he was hurt by her behaviour although he felt she'd every right to treat him this way. "I ... I'll better go." He turned and wanted to go to the car, when he felt her hand on his arm.

"You're not going anywhere. I just don't want to talk to you in front of a bunch of spectators," she smiled, stepped out of the house and closed the door behind her. She nodded over to the bench: "Why don't we sit down for a moment?"

He studied her face and then said: "Alright."

After both sat down Buffy took his hand: "I missed you. No, don't say anything. I know why you left and you're wrong."

"Buffy, I..."

She raised her free hand: "Let me talk. Cordelia told me what Giles said to you. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take that away, he must have hurt you terribly."

Angel only stared at her. She wasn't angry with him: "I'm sorry too," he said. "For leaving like this. It's just ... I couldn't deal with it. I felt responsible for what happened. I know it's stupid, but that night everything came rushing back and... I was a fool and all I can offer you is to say I'm sorry for hurting you." Suddenly it wasn't important anymore if he was the right man for her, the only thing that counted was that he loved her more than anything. The three weeks without her had been hell and all he wanted was to be with her for the rest of his life. So he took a deep breath and looked into her eye: "Would you," he swallowed, "would you take me back?"

"Oh Angel," she breathed and threw her arms around his neck. "I'll take you any way I can get you. I love you. But you have to promise never to leave me like this again. And for the record, you're not responsible for this." She looked at her stomach and touched the spot where she'd been wounded. Caressing his cheek she smiled: "You're responsible for helping me, for finding the real killer, for giving me my life back, for believing in me. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

He rolled his eyes and smiled too: "Don't flatter me. I only did my job."

"No," she said firmly. "It was much more and you know it. You believed in me when nobody else did and you did it although you barely knew me."

He laughed: "I'm usually not that gullible. Actually Doyle always says I'm too critical with our clients. But with you. I just knew it. Maybe because I loved you. I certainly never planned to fall in love with you, it just happened and it happened so fast and was so deep there was not way I could fight it."

She smiled: "I'm glad. That you didn't fight it, I mean. Because I've never felt that way before and I doubt I'm going to feel like this for any other man." She grinned: "So you see, you're stuck with me. I'm your private responsibility now."

He grinned back: "Are you? Hmm. Sounds good." He leaned forward and began to nuzzle at her earlobe.

Buffy felt showers running all over her body and moaned: "God, Angel. We're sitting on a bench for everyone to see us. I think we'd better stop."

He pulled back from her: "Maybe we should go in, don't you think?"

She nodded, stood up and pulled him with her into the house where the others were sitting and grinning broadly when the couple entered the living room.

"Why are you grinning like idiots," Buffy asked playfully.

"Oh nothing," Cordelia tried to make a straight face. "So everything's alright with you two, I guess."

"Yes," Angel answered, putting an arm around Buffy's waist and pulling her to him. He looked at Doyle and Cordelia: "Thank you. For being not as stupid as I was."

Joyce smiled and stood up: "I'm glad," she said. She gazed at Angel: "She was miserable you know. But now her eyes are shining." She laid a hand on his arm: "Angel, none of us blames you for what happened. And I'm sure you know that."

"What about your husband?," he asked.

"Leave Rupert to me. Now, why don't you just take Buffy and you spend the day together or as much time as you want."

"Mom," Buffy exclaimed in mocked indignity. "Are you pushing me in the arms of a man? Ts.ts.ts. Shame on you!"

Joyce laughed: "Hush. Just go and have a nice day. Angel I know you'll take care of her. She's still not back to her full health, so make it easy."

He kissed Buffy on the top of her head: "I'll treat her like gold," he promised and smiled at her.

"I'm not an invalid," she protested. "But I'm not saying anything against the rest. So we go?"

"Fine." Cordelia got up and looked at Angel: "You have to drop us off at the agency so we can get our car."

He nodded: "Then let's go. Thank you Mrs. Summers."

"Why don't you call me Joyce?"

"Thanks then, Joyce," he smiled at her and she surprised him by leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. Then she hugged her daughter and whispered:

"Have a great time."

Buffy smiled: "I'm sure we will. See you later."

Laughing they got into the car and drove away.

*******

When Rupert Giles entered the house with his son about an hour later he was surprised to find his wife sitting in the living-room, drinking coffee and reading a book.

"Mommy," Steven cried and jumped onto his mother's lap. "We were at the zoo," he exclaimed.

Joyce laughed: "I know, my darling."

"It was sooo cool!"

His mother rolled her eyes. Steven was definitely spending too much time with Willow's boyfriend. "What did you see?"

"Oh," his eyes were wide and excited: "Lions and tigers and rhibos."

"Rhibos?," she asked.

"Yeah," he answered quickly. "They have a horn on their nose. And sometimes two."

"You mean rhinos, darling."

"Whatever," he said with a motion of his hand. "And then we saw penguins. Daddy said they live where it's always cold, but I don't believe him." He looked at his father who smiled.

Joyce didn't look at her husband: "And why won't you believe this, Steven?"

"Because they don't even have clothes. They would be freezing," his face was very serious and it was obvious he'd thought about that very thoroughly. "You need a coat to live where it's cold and they hadn't anything."

"I see," Joyce smiled at him when he yawned. "You are tired my love," she said and touched his cheek. "Why don't you take a little nap and afterwards you can have a piece of cake."

"Yeah," he grinned.

"Then let's go upstairs." For the first time she looked at her husband: "Could you please wait for me, Rupert. I want to talk to you."

Her voice was harsh and he looked at her quizzically. When she wouldn't elaborate anything he only shrugged and nodded.

******

After dropping Doyle and Cordelia at the agency Angel looked at Buffy: "How do you feel?"

She rolled her eyes: "I'm fine. My mother always exaggerates. I'm just not up for a long distance run, but I'm fine. Really," she assured him.

"Alright," he smiled. "What do you think about going to the beach. Just for a walk. I know a nice spot where almost nobody goes to."

"I'd like that." She leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. "I would like to talk to you some more."

"Yeah," he took her hand. "We never talked about us, right? To much ... action?"

She grinned: "Yeah. Now, let's go. I've been too much inside the last weeks. I'm *so* looking forward to the beach."

********

Giles looked up when his wife returned to the living-room and smiled: "I bet he fell asleep at once. He must have been exhausted." He stretched his hands over his head: "And I'm too."

She didn't smile at him, only sat down and studied his face. After a while she said: "You're still looking like the man I've married, you know, but I'm not sure if you're he anymore."

He stared at her: "What do you mean? By the way how's Buffy? Is she asleep?"

"She's fine," she said without taking her eyes from his face. Then she shook his head: "How can you even dare to ask how she feels after what you've done? How could you do this and then look into the mirror each morning?"

"What are you talking about?," he asked confused. He tried to think about what he'd done but couldn't find anything.

"God, this is the worst. You don't even know it! I don't believe it." She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at him again: "You told him to stay away from our daughter, do you remember that?"

His eyes lit up with understanding: "Yes, I do. I strongly believe it's the best for her. Joyce, he's an unsteady job. A private investigator, his life is dangerous and he couldn't even keep her safe."

"But she loves him," his wife stood up and paced. "Love, Rupert. Do you remember that feeling?"

"That's low," he replied with a hurt look.

"Is it? I'm not so sure. They love each other so much. How could you do this? But to inform you, they're back together. Fortunately women are smarter than men and so we rightened the wrong. And Buffy is with him now and by god I hope they'll making it work. And don't you dare to interfere again."

He stared at his wife. He couldn't believe this: "So you went behind my back although you knew I didn't approve of this," his voice was filled with anger now. "How could you do this?"

"I think you should really shut up now, Rupert, before you say things you can't take back again. Better you go and think about everything. You're already familiar with our guest-room, as I recall. I think you'll better get used to it because you won't sleep in our room until you've come to your senses. What is the matter with you. Are you afraid she's going to leave us? Newsflash, honey, she's grown up. She'll leave us sooner or later, that's only natural. Get used to it, get your senses straight or," she paused and glared at him. "Get lost." With this she stormed out of the room.

Giles jumped on his feet and ran after her: "Joyce, you can't mean that," he pleaded.

She was half-way up the stairs. Her eyes were like ice: "Watch me, Rupert." Then she turned back and disappeared in Steven's room.

Part 19

It was very peaceful at the beach although it was weekend and one should've expected more people around, but obviously Angel knew this special place. So the only people they saw was another couple walking somewhere in the distance.

Angel and Buffy walked in silence for a while just holding hands and enjoyed being together after these lonely weeks. After a while he leaned over and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up and smiled at him, then they continued their silent march. There was light breeze, they could hear some seagulls and noises of the water.

Buffy stopped and took a deep breath: "It's wonderful out here. How do you know this special spot."

He looked to the ground for a moment as if to struggle with the answer, then he raised his head again: "Sarah and I used to come here." He watched her waiting for her reaction.

She smiled: "So you're ready to finally let go?"

He smiled back happy she understood him so well: "Yeah. I thought it was appropriate coming here. You know to start fresh with you. Leaving the guilt behind me, so it won't haunt us anymore - well somehow at least." He stroked her cheek: "I know it'll ever be with me, but I am not allowing it to run my life anymore."

They began to walk again.

"I thought you'd realized it was a fault. Us, I mean. When you didn't come to the hospital and nobody knew where you were. Then Doyle came with your note." Her voice was even and quiet but he could hear the sadness in it.

He kissed the back of her hand: "You'll never know how sorry I am. But it just came rushing back and then your ..." he took a deep breath. "However. I know it was wrong, but I couldn't deal. I'm usually not the run-away type."

"I don't know if I can forgive him," she said. "How could he do this to me? I always thought he loved me." Tears were threatening in her eyes.

Angel stopped her and put a finger under her chin to make her look at him: "He loves you."

She let out a short unhappy laugh, but he insisted:

"He does. Buffy, he loves you very much. Everyone can see that. But he's afraid to loose you. Again. He thinks if you're falling in love with a man and then you'll disappear like you did some years ago. It's a very irrational fear and maybe he isn't even aware of it. He thinks he's angry with me, but actually he's only scared." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"You think?," there was hope in her voice. And she truly hoped, hoped nothing more this might be true. Because she could, would, forgive him for this - eventually.

"I'm sure. You have to talk. Assure him, that you still love him and that nothing will change that feeling."

"I love you," she whispered. "I cannot believe I could ever live without you. It's as if I only started living when you came into my life."

"The feeling's mutual," he replied, closing his arms around her and pulling her to him. "I want this to work," he said suddenly. "I love you so much. I never thought something like this was possible. It's almost unreal."

"It's very real," she protested with a smile. "I'm very real."

"Yeah," he whispered and caught her lips in a kiss that told her about his deep love and devotion.

Buffy felt like flying, nobody had ever kissed her like this. It wasn't a very passionate kiss, but it held so much love it literally took her breath away and she tried everything to show him her feelings as well. When they came up for air again she smiled: "Wow."

"One kiss," he agreed.

They laughed, their foreheads still touching.

"I want this to work too," she said. "I cannot think ever living without you again. It's so strong it scares me."

"Scares you?" he asked worried.

"Not scares me *scares me* you know. But it's so strong. It fills me completely, without you I feel empty and lost. How am I ever going to be without you again?"

"There's no need to be scared. I'll always be with you, as long as you want me to, that is, and if it helps I feel the same. That was the reason I was so scared at the beginning. Scared, that my feelings would interfere with my job. I thought when they already clouded my judgment with Sarah then what would happen with you. But obviously it was stronger than me. I couldn't fight it."

"So we stay together?" she asked with a shaky voice. The answer would decide her whole life.

"That's all I want", he replied honestly. *She* was all he wanted. "Maybe we could have a real date, have dinner, drink coffee or what normal couples do." He smiled.

"Coffee, huh?," she grinned. "I think normal couples don't meet each other in a case of murder."

He tilted his head: "What are you trying to say?"

"That we're over the stage of coffee. But I'd like to have a dinner with you. What about tonight?"

"Are you sure?" his voice sounded concerned. "You're out of hospital for only ten days."

"And?"

"I don't want you to over-exert yourself, that's all." But he didn't want anything more than spend time together with her and he already knew the perfect place.

"I won't," she assured him. "I feel fine. Actually," she grinned, "I feel great, better than I have for a very, very long time."

"Alright," he kissed her again. "Then you're invited for dinner at Angel's place. I'm quite a good cook, if I may say so and you can lay down whenever you feel it's too much for you."

She beamed: "I'd like that very much, but I want to go home first. Dress up, you know," she grinned.

He raised an eyebrow: "Does that mean I have to wear a suit or a tux?"

She laughed: "No, although I'd like to see you in a tux someday, but not tonight. Whatever you choose to wear is perfect. I just think when you cook dinner the least I can do is surprise you with a nice outfit. And I'll ask Xander to drive me, so I can meet you at your doorstep.""Alright," he kissed her again and looked at his watch: "It's almost five now. I'll bring you back home and then we meet at eight. Is that okay with you?"

"Perfect," she beamed. "I love you."

"Love you too," he replied and they sunk into another kiss.

********

"Honey you look perfect," Joyce told her daughter two hours later. "Angel's going to lose it."

"Mom, what language," Buffy exclaimed but grinned. "I don't hope this is going to happen. Because I want him to be very aware of me tonight."

"Oh he will," her mother assured her. "You're so beautiful, honey."

"And I have to thank you for that. This dress is great." Her daughter turned back and forth in front of the mirror.

"I wanted to give it to you for Christmas but I think now it's just the right time." Joyce stood up from her place on Buffy's bed and walked over to her. She reached in her pocket and held out something for her.

"Oh mom! These are your pearls!" Buffy could hardly believe it.

"Yes. And I think they fit perfectly for tonight." She put them around her daughter's neck. "When do you expect Xander?"

Buffy was about to answer when the door bell rang: "Now," she said laughing.

"I'll go and let him in," Joyce headed down the stairs and towards the door but Giles had already let Xander in. Mrs. Giles stopped on the stairs and listened.

"Xander," her husband said in a friendly voice. "Did you came to see Buffy?"

The young man smiled: "Good evening Mr. Giles, I just came to bring her to her date. She called me some hours ago." His voice was tight and held anger.

"I see," he replied and Joyce choose this moment to join them: "Xander, how good of you to drive Buffy," she extended her hand to greet him.

"Mrs. Giles," he greeted back. "Is she... all mighty goodness," he said suddenly and stared to the stairs. Buffy came down, a smile on her face. She wore a burgundy red dress of knee-length with thin straps that accentuated the important parts. With it she wore high heels of the same colour and the beautiful pearls her mother had given to her. Her hair was curled up on her head and some loose strands fell at the sides of her face over her neck. She looked breathtaking.

Giles saw her as well: "You look wonderful, Buffy," he complimented her.

"Thank you," she said, but the smile on her face disappeared. "I'm going to meet Angel," she informed him. Then she looked at Xander and the smile was back on her face: "Thanks Xand, I owe you one."

He grinned: "Not really. I had to honour to look at you."

She laughed: "You're never going to be a millionaire. You're to easy to please."

Joyce kissed her daughter on the cheek: "Have a wonderful evening," then she leaned to her ear: "And don't feel forced to come back."

"Mom," Buffy blushed a little bit. But Joyce only shrugged and grinned.

With a short glance at Giles she left the house, Xander in tow and Giles could hear him laugh while he was saying: "God, Buff, whoever that guy is he must be pretty special to earn you."

"He is," she said laughing as well. "I assure you, Xand, he is."

Part 20

Angel was nervous and almost burned a part of their dinner and he felt butterflies in his stomach when the doorbell finally rang. Taking a deep breath he headed for the door to open it. What he saw took his breath away. Buffy had never looked so beautiful, in fact he couldn't remember ever having seen something like her tonight.

She smiled at him, he looked gorgeous in his black pants and the dark green shirt. "Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi," he breathed, still not fully master of his voice.

"Hi, I'm Xander," a young man beside Buffy said. Angel hadn't noticed him so far.

"Angel," he introduced himself. When he saw the other man rise an eybrow he held his hand up: "Keep your comment to yourself. There's none I haven't heard already."

Xander grinned: "I just wanted to see that Buffy's safe with you." He leaned over to her: "Have a nice evening. But I really can't see what's so special about him."

"Xand!," she exclaimed. "Thanks for bringing me."

"You're welcome. Have a nice time." With this he turned and disappeared in the elevator.

Angel cleared his throat: "Uh, why don't you just come in?," he invited her.

She smiled and entered his apartment: "It smells wonderful. What are you cooking?"

"It's a surprise," he replied smiling as well. "You're so beautiful," he complimented her.

"Thank you, mom had planned to give me the dress for Christmas, but she thought this evening would be more appropriate."

He stepped closer and encircled her waist with his arms: "Remind me to thank her."

"I will," she rose on her toes and met his lips in a sweet kiss. "I missed you," she whispered in his ear.

He smiled: "It was only three hours."

"Too long." She pulled back a little. "It looks wonderful," she pointed towards the table where Angel had everything ready for them. He'd lit up two candles as well.

"Are you hungry?", he asked.

"Hmmm, very and the more so when this smell is tickling my nose."

"Sit down, Mylady," he bowed like a servant. She nodded as ladylike as possible and he helped her in her chair. "First course is coming soon."

With this he disappeared in the kitchen but was back only a minute later with two plates. They held avocado-salad with crevettes and joghurt-dressing. Her eyes widened: "Where did you learn to cook? The Riz?"

He laughed and took his seat opposite to her: "My mother loved to cook and as she had no hopes I'd ever marry she thought it would be a good thing to teach me how to prepare a proper meal."

"Why?," she asked while she tasted the salad: "Oh my god, that tastes delicious."

He beamed: "Thanks. Why what?"

"Why didn't she think you'd ever marry?"

He rolled his eyes: "I was ... well pretty wild. Had a new girlfriend every week. It wasn't anything serious, actually I was very shy and we never did more than kissing, but they all ran after me in highschool."

She grinned: "I cannot imagine why."

"Me neither," he replied honestly. "In highschool I was certainly nothing a girl could find attractive, but I had a brother who was the quarterback of our highschool football-team."

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah. Graham. He's two years older than I. He and his wife live in Sidney. He works for a computer company," he sighed. "They have two children, Sam and Sheila. That's my mother's name."

"Where are your parents?," Buffy wanted to know everything about his family now.

"They live in New York too. That's where I was born. I saw them while I was there," he told her. Then he looked at her empty plate. "Ready for the second course?," he asked. When she nodded he stood up and went into the kitchen again.

So he had two siblings and his parents were still alive, she thought. There was so much she didn't know about him, and yet she felt so comfortable around him as if she'd known him forever. It would be interesting to learn about every detail in his life. When she saw him coming back she smiled.

He smiled back: "Now this is catfish in creme-sauce. I love it and I hope you'll do too." He placed the plate in front of her and waited for her to taste it.

She closed her eyes: "That's wonderful, hmmm. God, you're not a cook, you're a genius."

He laughed: "Thanks. I'm glad you like it."

"Definitely," she nodded. Waving her fork through the air she said: "If I wouldn't be in love with you already I'd fall in love with you instantly."

He laughed even harder. "My mother would be very proud of you. And after all, you cannot cook as you said, so one should be able to prevent us from starving."

It was said in a teasing voice but Buffy felt a little pang of joy in her heart. It definitely sounded as if he was planning for a longer time. A future, she was almost afraid to think about that word. Sure, they had decided to try to make it work, but his words sounded different, as if ... no, not now. Don't think about it, she told herself. Don't jinx it.

"So you have two siblings and your parents," she said instead.

He nodded: "Yeah, and my niece and nephew and hopefully another one very soon."

"Oh yes, the one you'll be godfather of, I remember."

"Yes," he nodded again and took another bite of his food.

"So you'll be in New York in February."

"Hmm, and for Christmas. My parents want us there and my brother and sister-in-law are coming with their children from Australia." He sighed: "It's a great big family reunion."

She felt disappointment in her chest. Their first Christmas and they would be separated. But he obviously loved his family and she didn't want him to feel bad about her, so she tried to sound relaxed when she said: "You're certainly looking forward to spend these days with your family."

"I am," he looked at his plate and didn't dare to raise his head when he said: "but only if you're coming with me."

Her fork fell down with a loud noise and she stared at him: "What?" she whispered.

He looked up: "Would you come with me? It's only one week ahead and ... well, I don't want to spend Christmas without you. It would be only for three days and I promise you'll like my family."

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. Happiness flooded her whole body. "Of course I want to come with you."

"Really," his eyes were full of hope. "What about your family? Won't they be very disappointed?"

She gestured with her hand: "Mom will understand. And at the moment I don't really care about Giles." When she saw his look she sighed: "I will talk to him, I swear, but there's nothing I want more than to spend Christmas with you."

"I'm very happy," he said with a smile. "Very happy," he said again. "Are you finished with your fish?"

She nodded: "Yes, I feel stuffed. And it was delicious."

"I made some mousse, but we can have that later," he told her while he was carrying the plates into the kitchen.

"Yeah," she said and sighed happily. Christmas with Angel in New York. Yes!

**********

Joyce looked over to her husband who was staring at the television. They had spent the whole evening with looking at a stupid film and avoided to talk with each other. She grinned inwardly, she could almost see him fuming. Buffy had treated him cooly and Joyce knew he was angry because Buffy met with Angel without telling him a word in advance. He was behaving ridiculous and deep inside he knew it already, she was sure of it. But true to himself he couldn't admit his fault, he first had to shout and brood.

She yawned: "I'm going to bed now," she announced. "You know the way to the guest-room." He groaned and she almost couldn't hide her smile.

"Don't you wait for Buffy," he asked her trying to hide his annoyance with her behaviour.

"Oh no and I wouldn't wait either if I was you," she said casually and began to walk towards the door.

"Why?," he asked sharply.

"Because," she turned round, "I doubt she'll come home tonight." She yawned again. "I'm really tired. Sleep tight."

"Joyce!"

"Yes, my beloved husband," she replied with amusement in her voice.

"This isn't funny," he said loudly.

"It isn't? Well, alright, then serious. I'm very sure she'll stay with Angel for the night. And please don't shout. Steven is asleep." She leaned at the doorframe and studied his face. God, she loved him, but he could be so stubborn.

"So you're telling me that our daughter is going to have sex with ... him."

"Yes. Rupert, she's 22, don't behave like a moralist. You'd sex when you were 18, you told me yourself and Buffy was born when I was only 21." Not waiting for his reply she disappeared on the stairs.

He only shook his head. This was running out of his hands. Women, he thought, why do they always have to win.

*******

When Angel came back from the kitchen he found Buffy sitting on his sofa and he had to steady himself at her view. He felt himself responding immediately, but he thought about her experiences with men and knew there was no way he could just go and take her right away. He had to be patient, and he wanted to be patient. He loved her so much, he would do nothing to scare her or to make her feel uncomfortable.

"Do you want anything to drink?," he asked glad his voice was working properly.

She shook his head: "No, all I want is for you to come over here," she patted beside her on the sofa.

When he sat beside her she looked deeply in his eyes: "I love you," she whispered and leaned forward to kiss him, soon the kiss spiraled out of control and panting they pulled away from each other. "I," he began, but she laid a finger on his lips and kissed him again.

Soon his hands were roaming all over her body and she pulled him closer with her arms that were lying firmly around his neck. Suddenly she realised what they were doing and pulled back. They were both looking at each other, both breathless.

Angel looked to the ground and then back into her eyes: "I'm sorry," he said, his voice hoarse with desire. "I didn't mean..." His eyes were like deep dark pools and she'd the feeling to drown in them.

"Shhh," she kissed his cheek. "It's okay. I want it too," she said and smiled when she saw the look in his eyes. "I really do, but I'm scared." She bit her lower lip: "I trust you, but after..."

"I know," he cut her off. "We do not have to, I mean, I understand."

"But I want it. I just want you to be gentle."

He kissed her deeply: "What about that? Whenever you feel uncomfortable you just say it and we'll stop."

"Oh Angel," she breathed and tears welled in her eyes. "I love you, oh god, I love you so much." She threw her arms around his neck again and as if she was only a feather he gathered her in his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

Next Chapters...
Back to Jill's Rewrite Courses
Back to Literature Department