*~*~*
Buffy stood restlessly infront of her fiance’s office, staring at the door. She wanted to go in there. She really wanted. But she was afraid.
Afraid of maybe walking in on him and his secretary. ‘Cause that would make it true.
And there would be another man cheating on her. Only using her.
But chances were high that she would find them going on at it. Because Mandy wasn’t sitting on her desk, it wasn’t break and the girl wasn’t ill. She’d asked one of the employees.
Taking all her strength together, she grabbed hold of the doorknob and turned it around.
And when she opened it she found the blonde girl sitting on his desk with her back to Buffy, clearly in a wave of ecstasy and Riley Finn pounding into her with is eyes closed in pleasure.
Buffy stood there frozen. She was unable to say anything. Unable to move. She just stood there.
And when Riley threw his head back, moaning the girl’s name a single tear made it’s way down Buffy’s cheek.
Coming down from his high, Riley shoved Mandy off of him and opened his eyes, fixing the zipper of his pants.
Looking up he froze.
“Buffy.”
Buffy stood there, staring into his eyes with tears in her own. She felt so lost and hurt and sad.
And betrayed.
Sure, she’d already known that Riley was cheating on her, but seeing it with her own eyes....
Riley looked helpless, shoving Mandy from the desk he made his way to Buffy. “I-It’s not what you think!”
“It’s not what you think?! Bastard!!” And exactly that very moment Buffy snapped. All her sadness forgotten, she fell downwards into fuming anger. And for once, she finally opened her eyes and saw the real Riley Finn. “You were *fucking* another girl, *darling*,” Buffy said slowly, gritting her teeth.
“That he was!” Mandy chirped, placing her still naked form into Riley’s leather chair, making herself way too comfortable.
Buffy only looked away in disgust.
But Riley didn’t seem to be able to tore his eyes away....
“RILEY!” Buffy yelled and said man’s head shot around to face her.
“I’m sorry, honey. I won’t do it again. I promise. Please, don’t be angry, darling. It’s gonna be okay!” Riley said. No Buffy would mean no money, wouldn’t it?
Buffy chuckled dryly at this. “Don’t even try boy. I know all about your whores and women.” She said coldly and glared at him, when the sweet blonde eighteen-year-old on his chair gasped in surprise. “You’ve heard right, girl. You’re not the only one.”
Riley boiled with anger. “Who told you? Lindsey? I swear, if I see him I---“
“What? Gonna beat him up like you did with me? Or Angel?” Buffy said calmly. “You’re NOT going to make this about Lindsey. It’s your fault! Lindsey was only being decent enough to tell me what I let myself run into. He made me open my eyes, Riley. He was being my friend!”
“What did that bugger want from you?” Riley said, nearly shaking with rage. “Did you sleep with him?”
Buffy couldn’t believe her ears. Did he REALLY just say that? “He’s not like you, Riley. I for once, am faithful. I always tell the truth. Lindsey is my FRIEND! As are Xander and Spike!”
“Oh, C’mon! You really think they are hanging out with you, because you are their FRIEND? They are just waiting until they can get into your pants! All of them. Especially that Angel-guy. Why else would he help you, huh?” Riley snickered.
“What’s making you like this?” Buffy shook her head. “Why are you such a sick bastard? Why are you doing this to me?”
Riley faced her. “Of course you doing this about me. I’m the bad one. I’m the sick one.” He snorted.
“You CHEATED on me!!” Buffy exclaimed. “Of COURSE this is about YOU! I’m not the one to blame here!”
“Ever thought you might be the one drawing me into her arms? Ever thought that you might be the reason for all this?” Riley told her angry. “You’re closing up to me! Every time I screw you, you’re somewhere completely else. You’re pulling yourself away from me! Ever wondered why all the guys keep leaving you?”
Buffy only shook her head in anger and ripped her engagement ring off her finger, nearly tearing the skin beneath it and throwing it at Riley. “That’s it. We’re over.” She said and turned on her heels, stomping off.
“Yeah? You’re gonna regret this. Face it, Buffy. You’re not able to love. Every boyfriend you’re gonna have in the future is going to either cheat on you or leave you. You can take, but not give. And you’re not such a good lay that someone would want to stay only because of the sex.”
Buffy stopped in silence, the tears returning to her eyes.
Was he right? Was she unable to love? Was it all her fault?
“Yes, Buffy.” Riley smirked. “That’s you, honey.”
And Buffy ran from the office.
Was this her? A woman that closed herself up like no other? Wasn’t she able to give?
She ran as fast as her legs could, never caring about people or cars around her. It was a miracle that all the cars were able to stop before they hit her.
She ran to her own office.
She couldn’t go home. She couldn’t let her little girl see her weakness.
Her vision blurred with tears.
She ran into her office. The hot tears were burning her cheeks when she bumped into a hard chest and collapsed sobbing to the floor.
Angel only held her.
*~*~*
“DEANNA CAMERON SUMMERS!” Spike yelled through the whole mall. “COME HERE, NOW!” And again, he shrunk to a little puddle of mush on the floor when all the glares of the older women around shot daggers at him. God, his grandmother had really left him traumatic.
“Yeah, yeah.” Deanna yelled back, but didn’t make any attempt to do what her godfather had shouted all the same.
Spike groaned and strolled through the toy section of the store they were in, in search for the small-sized Summers girl.
Spotting her in the Hello Kitty section, he had to smirk.
Despite all her protests Deanna Summers WAS still a nine-year-old girl.
And although he’d make sure to tease her about it later, Deanna gazed longingly at a small pink purse with flowers and the Japanese kitten on the front with stars in her chocolate eyes.
Deanna hadn’t even noticed her uncle standing right beside her.
“So, so.” Spike snickered, startling the youngest Summers who froze and let go of the purse.
Turning around she kept her cool facade up. “Let’s go?” She looked up at her uncle William.
Spike only smiled, grabbed the small pink purse in one hand, and Deanna’s little hand in his other and headed towards the blonde employee of the store he’d flirted earlier with in order to pay for the small Hello Kitty thing.
Deanna only grinned up at Spike and found herself once again to be the happiest girl in the world. Really, Spike was the best uncle in the whole world.
Spike handed her the purse and groaned. “Do you know that this Hello Kitty stuff costs a fortune?” he commented and pushed the girl out of the store. “Let’s get you home, Nibblet, eh?”
Deanna only nodded, grinning from ear to ear.
*~*~*
“He – He was so mean. H-he said things, that – He...” Buffy rambled, clinging to Angel who silently listened.
God knew how grateful she was for that. But somehow it scared her that she could open up better to a man she knew for 2+ days than every other member of her friends or family beside Faith or Spike.
The two of them were walking through a nice park with a little lake and Buffy had Angel’s leather jacket draped loosely around her shoulders because of the mild climate and her arm was linked with his.
They’d walked around for the last hour, although they actually had to work right now.
But that wasn’t really a problem. Everybody who knew Buffy knew that she needed a little time off right now. And her father was the boss, so...
“I thought I knew him and he just, - - he,... he was so different. And- for once – I think I saw him, really saw him for the very first time. He – he just... All that mattered to him was the money, I think. And I thought he loved me. He was the first. The only one that ever told me he loved me. And he...” Buffy said, feeling the sobs rise inside her anew.
“I doesn’t matter.” Angel said, desperately forcing down the urge just to grab her and kiss the lights out of her and tell her he loved her.
Instead he focused on her death-grib around his arm and the pain evident in her eyes. “There’ll be plenty other men to tell you just that. I promise. You’re young, Buffy. Your life has just begun, especially your love-life.”
Buffy smiled up at him through her tear-strained face and drew closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder and Angel had to inhale a deep breath to keep himself going forward.
“Thank you.” She whispered and he could feel her breath against his skin. He felt her shiver and laid his arm around her shoulder, making her snuggled more comfortable into him.
“This means a lot to me. You’re the first male in a long time who just comforted me and held me without any intention behind that. Except Spike and Xander, of course. And my dad, ‘cuz that’d be real gross.” She mumbled and Angel immediately felt guilty for his thoughts of the woman in his arms that were more than only there to comfort or hold her.
Okay, hold her was involved, but....
So Angel only kept silent. How could he possibly reply to that?
Buffy sniffled and let go of his arm, drawing back, much to Angel’s disappointment. “I’m sorry.” She wiped her tears away. “You must think of me as some cry-baby disappointed with her life. I mean, I’m a rich spoiled millionaire’s daughter. Why should you think of me differently?” She said, smiling difficulty through her lowered lashed, staring at her feet.
“No.” Angel, said lifting her chin up. “Buffy, you’re a beautiful and intelligent woman. And a wonderful mother. Deanna is great. She’s the cutest little girl in the world and you did a good a job with her. And I know your life isn’t as easy as it seems. Far from that. I can understand.” Angel tried to comfort her, but Buffy only cried harder and threw her arms around him, hugging him close.
“What’s wrong with me, Angel?” She cried. “Why does this keep happening to me?”
Angel hesitantly closed his arms around her and held her, breathing in the scent of her air. “It’s not you, baby. It’s not you.” He whispered in her ear, stroking her back softly.
It scared him that just such a single thing like her hugging him made him this uncomfortable and he desperately pushed down his feeling for her. If she kept being this touchy like he’d have a HUGE problem later, ‘cuz he was more aroused by the minute and he only hoped it wouldn’t begin to show in his pants soon, ‘cuz there was no way she wouldn’t feel it with her body flush against his. And she only pushed herself closer with each sob.
He felt terrible about it. How could he feel like this when the woman he loved was crying, CRYING in his arms?
Buffy quieted a bit, soothed by his gentle words and she once again felt herself drawn to him. But pushed the feeling back immediately.
However, she made no attempt to let go of him. She just stood there with her arms around her one-night-stand from ten years and one day ago.
She turned her head in his shoulder to the side, so that her lips nearly touched his neck and she could only stare at the smooth fabric of his skin, again being overwhelmed by the feeling rushing through her.
She closed her eyes and breathed in.
She felt like she couldn’t let go of this man ever again, because she felt more safe, warm and secure than ever before in her whole life and wondered if she’d felt like this ten years ago, too. Because it felt so frighteningly familiar. And most of all, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want them to ever part again. And it scared her.
“You want to come back to my house?” She sniffled into his shoulder. “Louisa, my housekeeper, comes today. She’s a real gourmet cook.”
“I’d love to.” He breathed into her hair, but neither of them moved to part.
So they stood there, in the complete silence of the comforting embrace.
*~*~*
“No, dear, you look really cute in that!” The elder woman smirked.
“CUTE? God, I must look like some gay freak!” Spike shuddered disgusted and opened the fridge, taking the milk out and placing it to the other ingredients to bake the cookies.
Only to turn around by the sound of a high-pitched giggle and Spike faced Enie. “What’s so BLOODY funny?” He snapped.
But Deanna only had to laugh harder until her laugher sounded more like hysterical sobs and she had to stable herself at the side of the counter to not fall over.
The sight of her *tough, BIG BAD and cool* uncle Spike in a shiny white lace-apron was just too ridiculous.
“Funny.” Spike glared at the small-sized teenie and even Louisa failed to hold down a fit of giggles.
The three of them were standing in Buffy Summer’s kitchen, preparing the lunch.
Louisa had been amazed about how much the bleached-blond man knew about cooking, so she’d simply made him help her and began teaching him a few things when he’d started protesting about the apron he was now wearing.
And honestly, he DID look gay in that.
Louisa calmed and turned to the cooker again, checking the food which caught Deanna’s attention immediately.
“What are you cooking?” She asked happily.
“Noodles, chicken meat and vegetables. The vanilla pudding’s in the refrigerator and Spike bakes the chocolate cookies!” The 50-year-old woman with grey hair told her smiling.
Louisa Michel was with the Summers’ family since Buffy was born, ‘cuz Dean was a disaster in housekeeping.
And when Buffy had moved out with Deanna she hadn’t been able to not take Louisa with her. Nowadays, the nice lady came twice a week, because Buffy could handle things on her own.
“Yummy!” The girl squeaked and hopped onto the counter where Spike put the already made cookies in a bowl and pushed the fresh ones in the oven.
And the door to the kitchen opened only to reveal another set of hysterical giggles.
Like mother, like daughter, huh? “Oh, bloody hell!” Spike mumbled and glared at Deanna who too, fell into another laughing mode. Great. “Shut up, Summers!” He yelped at Buffy. “What’s so unusual about me in an apron, huh?”
Buffy only smirked at him, before falling back into another fit of laugher and nearly collapsing against Angel whose hand she was still holding.
Which didn’t go unnoticed by Deanna and she only smiled knowingly at her dad.
“Hi Louisa!” Buffy said, still smirking. “Angel, this is Louisa, she’s been with us my whole life. Louisa, this is Angel, Deanna’s father.” Buffy introduced, smiling up at Angel.
Louisa's eyes grew wide and she didn’t know what to say. Instead she looked from Angel to Deanna and back to Angel, only to set eyes on the small girl again, trying to see the things that clearly matched. Like the eyes. And the hair. And the smile.
She smiled at Angel Liery then.
One with such a nice smile could only be a good man. She already liked him. “Well, then, Deanna, dear?” She said sweetly, not taking her eyes of the father of that sweet child. “Would you set another plate on the table, please?” She said, smiling warmly, almost motherly at Angel.
“Of course!” Deanna beamed and hopped off the counter.
Spike only grinned at Deanna, when he also noticed their entwined hands. And it seemed they weren’t about to let go anytime soon.
Buffy led Angel out of the room and into the dining-room, where Deanna placed a new set on the table with a goofy grin plastered to a face, munching on one of Spike’s cookies which were surprisingly good.
They both sat down next to each other, their hands still firmly locked and Deanna sat down across from them when Louisa came out of the kitchen with the food, placing the steaming bowls on the wooden table.
Followed by Spike who also exited the kitchen – without apron. “So, there? How come you’re so early, Buff? I thought I was supposed to look after the little one the whole day?” Spike said, sitting down to Buffy’s left while Louisa sat down next to Buffy’s daughter.
“I, um.... I took the day off.” Buffy stammered.
“Oh? You usually never---“ Deanna asked surprised.
“There wasn’t much to do.” Angel said quickly, rushing to Buffy’s rescue. “I took the day off, too. Was kinda boring today.” He said calmly and Buffy was immediately amazed how easy it was for him to stay cool while lying.
She just had to figure out if she found that good or bad.
Deanna loaded her plate with noodles, leaving absolutely no space for any kind of vegetable and Buffy only glared at her, so Deanna shoved a few of the noodles on Spike’s plate and took a spoonful of the green stuff. As little as she could, of course.
“Mom?” Deanna suddenly looked up, acting as if she’d thought of something only right before.
“Yeah?” Buffy looked up at her daughter, digging into her own food.
“Spike and I bought tickets to Snoopy on Ice for Friday. Can we go there? Ya know – you, Me, Spike and Dad?” She said sweetly.
And Spike only smirked at her.
Buffy and Angel both choked on their food.
“What did you just say?” Buffy said wide-eyed. Dad! She’d called Angel dad! For the very first time!
“I said, Spike and I bought tickets to Snoopy on Ice for Friday. And If we could go there: you, me, Spike and Angel.” She said innocently. God she was good, her plan was actually working!!!
“No!” Buffy shook her head. “You said Dad. You, me, Spike and DAD!” Buffy said, breathing hard and Angel only stared at Deanna as if she’d grown a second head.
“Did I?” Deanna said, kicking Spike’s smirk off his face under the table.
Buffy sat back into her chair, calming, before she noticed that Angel’s hand in her own was trembling. Hard. So she squeezed it lightly and smiled at him, before she turned to Enie, again. “It’s okay with me. Ask the others.” She said smiling. Spike only nodded and Deanna turned to Angel.
“Dad?” She said again and Buffy felt Angel jump slightly.
“Y-yes.” He said uncomfortably, his voice shaking nearly as much as his hands. “That would be nice.”
“Cool!” Deanna beamed and continued eating.
*~*~*
“Yes, .... Yes, all right..... okay, no! No, problem, really. I’m on it. .... Yes, later. ....Bye.” Angel spoke into the phone until hanging up and gathering his things from his desk. The was really quiet and boring and everybody seemed to go sooner, so did he. Taking an afternoon off didn’t sound too bad, anyways.
Especially when he had so damn much on his mind.
DAD! There was someone out who called him DAD! He knew Deanna only for three days and she already called him dad! This was impossible and it still gave him the wig when he only thought about someone calling him that. It made it all real in a way: He. Was. A. Father. And that meant that there was a little girl out there he was responsible for. And that depended on him. Okay, maybe not THAT much, since she had the best mom in the world and TWO godfathers and all of Buffy’s friends. But the lack of a father still existed.
And now he was going to fill that.
But dad? All he could do was freak at the small one-syllable word. It both meant so very much to him, ‘cause he wanted children so desperately all his life and also reminded him that if he did something wrong... ANYTHING, it would mean....
“Hey Dad!” Deanna chirped from the doorway and Angel shot up, falling from his chair and breathing hard.
Deanna’s eyes grew wide, then and she rushed over to his desk, helping him stand. “Are you okay, dad?” She said innocently. Oh, not that you misunderstood: She KNEW what that word did to him.
“Yes... Y-yes, I-I’m okay.” He stammered, standing on uneasy legs. “W-why?”
“Oh!” Deanna interrupted. “I was here to visit mom. We wanted to take her to grab something to eat but she’s not finished, yet. Well, and she said you were free now. So I thought... You want to have lunch with me and uncle Spike?” She asked, smiling sweetly.
“You sure you don’t want to wait for your mother instead?” He asked frowning.
“Nah.” Deanna said. “Mom says she has to look a lot of new files over and the things are piling up on her desk. She won’t be finished before eight.... And I really don’t wanna wait that long for lunch!”
Angel shifted slowly from one leg to the other and closed his bag, shrugging on his coat. “Well, I-I don’t know...”
“Oh, C’mon, mate. Spend some time with your little girl.” Spike grinned, appearing in the doorway in his usual leather coat, black jeans and red shirt over the black T-shirt. Really, even with the little Angel knew about that guy, he wasn’t sure if he had something else in his closet beside that outfit. Well, actually that wasn’t true: yesterday the shirt had been purple... Angel nodded, slowly. “Okay. I’m in.” He smiled down at his daughter. HIS DAUGHTER!
“Cool!” The little brunette beamed and he once again wondered how she could still be so small-sized with nearly ten. She was half his size! “Let me grab my bagpack! I forgot it in mom’s office.” And she dashed out of the room across the hall and shot into Buffy Summers’s office without even knocking, which was something nobody even DARED to do, in fear of getting thrown out.
“You already love your daughter, don’t ya?” Spike smirked. “She’s an adorable little thing, isn’t she? Just like her mommy.” Spike said, looking in the direction Deanna ran while Angel closed the door behind him and joined him in the hall, waiting for the little girl to return.
“She is.” Angel smiled back.
“And you also already love the mommy, huh?” Spike said, glancing at the taller man.
And Angel suddenly got really pale. “How-“
“Oh, C’mon, mate. Even my grandmother would see that!” He said, grinning like a fool.
“Well,... I.... Yes. I love her.” Angel said quietly, gaining a sudden interest in his shoes.
Spike nodded. “Don’t hurt her.” He said and Angel’s head shot up to look the other man in the eyes. “If I find out that you, in any way, hurt Buffy or Deanna, I swear I’ll hunt you down and torture you until there’s nothing left of you, understand?” Spike said, suddenly serious.
“I’d never.” Angel promised. And let out a long breath. “Do you know about- ... What Riley.... did?” He asked unsure. He didn’t want to tell too much if Spike didn’t know.
“Huh?” Spike shot around, facing him. “What did the little piece of shit do, this time?” He said.
“T-this time?” He said, but was stopped when the smallest of the Summers tribe hopped next to them and took her father’s hand in her’s and Spike’s in her other.
“Can we go?” She asked and Spike grinned down at her, pulling her to the elevator while Angel could only stare at Deanna’s little hand in his.
*~*~*
“Knock, Knock!” Faith grinned when she stuck her head into her friend’s office. “Hey girlfriend! Working hard, are we?”
Buffy looked up from the file she was working on and smiled at her friend. “Hey.” She said back. “How was your vacation?”
“Cool.” Faith commented and strolled into the room, closing the door and sitting down on the arm of the chair Buffy was sitting on. “Don’t you ever take a break, B.? Half of the employees of that building are sitting in front of that nice little Italian restaurant across the street and having lunch, ya know?” “
”I can’t.” Buffy sighed. “Or else I’m gonna have to stay the night here to get this finished!” She said, gesturing with her hands to her loaded desk. Faith only shrugged and pulled Buffy off the chair onto the couch.
“No way. Here!” Faith said, fishing a box with sandwiches out of her bag and handing it to the blonde. “Eat. Or else you won’t grow big and strong!” She joked and Buffy could only smile at her.
It was amazing how this tough, dark woman could be such a caring friend. If she could trust anyone with her problems, it was Faith. Faith was always loyal to her and would never judge her whatever she did. Even Willow had been a bit distant when she’d first told her friends that she was pregnant all those years ago. All of them had. But not Faith. Faith had stood by her side and patiently waited with her that her friend accepted her current state, then.
“Faith?” Buffy asked, looking up at the pretty brunette.
“Yeah?” Faith grinned.
“Deanna’s father is working for me. Here. And he’s already met Deanna. And he’s so fucking caring and nice and mind-blowing handsome and so damn sexy and, god, I’m falling head over heals for him!!!” Buffy said in a row and Faith had to choke on her own sandwich.
“WHAT?!” Faith screeched. “Why the HELL didn’t you call me?”
“Oh, and I broke up with Riley, ‘cause he’s been cheating on me for a whole year.” Buffy added. “And I’m having a kind of date with Angel – that’s his name – on Friday. We’re going to Snoopy on Ice with Deanna and Spike.” Buffy said, choking back the tears in her eyes that had shot out when she’s mentioned her ex-fiance.
However, Faith noticed and guided Buffy’s head to her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, B.” She said. “But, anywho. What’s the prob, honey? You’re falling in love with that guy, you know he’s a bomb in bed and you’re single again. And on top of it all he’s the father of your child, so that’s no problem either.” She said softly.
“I-I’m afraid, Faith.” Buffy admitted, sniffling. “I think I’ve lost my trust in men. And I don’t now. I want to make it work with Angel. If there’s gonna be, any ‘with Angel’. I need to know if I can trust him first.” She said, looking into Faith’s eyes who nodded at her, telling her silently to continue. “I want to be his friend first. I want to get to know him first. Because.... When I first met Angel, he was a guy cheating on his fiance with a teenager. And in a way, he’s done the exact same thing Riley’s done to me. And I’m just so confused.” Buffy said, rubbing her eyes tiredly. “And I’m scared, Faith.”
“I know, sweetie.” Faith said, rubbing Buffy’s arm gently. “You’ve had some bad luck with men, but that doesn’t mean that there’s no prince charming out there. And who knows, maybe it’s Angel. By the way: Which mother names her son ANGEL???”
Buffy chuckled lightly at that. “It’s a beautiful name!” Buffy protested.
“It’s a GAY name!” Faith remarked and Buffy had to laugh, forgetting her tears for a moment.
*~*~*
“Ya know? The first weeks of a new project, like now, mom’s always busy and staying at the office. Then Spike, or Faith or Dean, Willow and Tara or Uncle Xander are babysitting me. But after three weeks or so, she only has to give introductions and stuff. Then she almost always stays at home and does the work from there and goes to the construction work once a week to look how things are going. It’s always like that. And mom loves that. That’s kinda been the reason she’s become this instead of a lawyer.” Deanna rambled, backing up in front of her father.
“A lawyer?” Angel chuckled, disbelieving.
“That was her Ally McBeal phase. But she dropped the thought when she realised that lawfirms don’t usually have such a toilet.” Spike remarked, leafing through the girlie magazine DEANNA’d just bought.
Angel had to grin at that. Really, he loved learning such little things about Buffy Summers. And he kept every single information burned into his scull, in order to be able to remember them at the right times, considering he’d need them in the future with Buffy. “Who’s Faith?” He then asked, turning to his daughter. HIS DAUGHTER!
“She what you’d consider a real Bad Girl. She looks like a slut and is all into the danger. But that’s just the facade she keeps up. Actually she’s a real softie and goes for the fluffy stuff in life.” Spike answered.
“I CAN talk for myself, ya know?” Deanna grumbled, stopping and waiting until the two males walked beside her, before she turned around and grabbed her dad’s hand again.
“Know that, ducks.” Spike smirked down at the small girl, lightening a cigarette and shoving the lighter back into the pocket of his black leather duster.
“Woah!” Deanna shrieked before running off towards a Toys’R’Us.
Spike had to laugh out loud and Angel only stopped in the middle of the street, confused. The three of them had spent the whole day out and it was now already late afternoon.
“Well, well. See, Angel? THAT’S Deanna Summers! A small, nine-year-old with her kid-desires.” Spike shouted towards the shop to make sure the girl could overhear every single syllable.
Angel only grinned and began strolling towards the store slowly with Spike falling in step beside him.
“So, what was that with Fish-Boy?” Spike said curious, suddenly serious.
“You’ll have to ask Buffy for that one. I’m in no position to tell you.” Angel mumbled, staring ahead.
“C’mon Angel, work with me here. The Buffster’s way too proud to tell anyone what that bastard does to her. It’s always been like that. Last time Deanna – the frightened DAUGHTER – told me. Buffy gets herself in these messes and is fucking AFRAID to turn around and run away from it. It’s a miracle in my eyes that she told YOU! You’re the jerk cheating on his fiancé. You’ve been exactly that for the past ten years. ...” Spike said outraged, but calming slightly on mid-way. “But ya know what, you’re not the asshole I expected you to be.”
Angel only kept on staring. Sometimes at the street ahead, but mostly at his shoes or the sky with the white cotton-like clouds that seemed to fly from edge to edge across the city. “Kinda windy today, huh?” He grumbled.
“Angel. What. Did. He. Do. To. Her. Did he slap her? Cheat on her?” Spike asked, grabbing the other man by the arm sleeve and yanking him around.
But Angel only kept silent, looking into the other man’s eyes.
Which more than answered Spike’s question. “No!” Spike shook his head. “No way! He DIDN’T! Not to her! NO!”
He yelled for everyone on the streets to hear, but for once he wasn’t embarrassed. “Oh, I’m SO gonna beat that little piece of fuck into a bloody little pulp, peel the skin off his slimy body and rip off his fucking balls, before I shove ‘em down his throat!” Spike cursed, stomping down the road and running off towards the Finn-residence that wasn’t too far away, throwing the magazine against a wall nearby.
“Where’s Uncle Spike going, Dad?” Deanna asked, startling Angel who hadn’t noticed her return.
“Nowhere.” He answered. “Nowhere, Come on, sweetie, let’s get you home.” He said and lead her through the mall toward the entrance.
*~*~*
“I can’t BELIEVE Spike let her buy THAT! C’mon, not even *I* haven't been able to get him into a Victoria’s Secret when we were *together*!” Buffy exclaimed, eyeing the lazy, not-too-much-hiding objects in the red box, along with the *gorgeous* red dress.
“Oh, you’re SO gonna wear these lacies for your date on Friday, girlfriend!” Faith laughed, holding the dress in front of Buffy’s body.
“NO!” She yelped. “C’mon, that’d be like I’d only want to jump in bed with Angel!” Buffy protested.
“Nah. I’ll talk to old Spikey. As much as I know him, the four of you will probably have dinner in some expensive restaurant. So you’ll HAVE TO dress up!” Faith said, turning the dress around and holding it in front of herself. “Think you’ll let me borrow that one, sometime?”
“Okay, I’ll wear it.” Buffy said, smiling.
“Good girl!” Faith smirked, patting Buffy’s head playfully.
“So?” Faith said, moving closer to the blonde. “Do we wanna get him into bed, or don’t we wanna get him into bed?”
*~*~*
“Do you wanna stay a bit? I’m sure mom should be here in a few minutes. It’s late!” Deanna said, unlocking the door and stepping into her and her mother’s home.
“Sure.” Angel smiled and Deanna smiled back, before dashing towards the ringing phone.
Once the girl was out of sight Angel didn’t know what to do in the strange apartment so he walked around, watching the framed pictures of Buffy, her friends, and Deanna on the wall.
He had to chuckle catching sight of a cosmic-blue haired Buffy sticking out her tongue, held by both Spike and Xander and another one that showed what he assumed a four-year-old Deanna covered from hair to toe in muck.
There were other pictures, like the one where Buffy, clearly tired, was holding a very new-born Deanna Summers that made him dread the time he lost in his daughter's life, but when he saw the happy smile on the young mother’s face he forgot everything around him.
Just then he heard two people talking in the room next to him.
“I won’t lie, Faith. I AM attracted to him. It’s just. I already told you. I want to be his friend. I can’t be hurt again. I can’t. I couldn’t stand it one more time.” He heard the voice of his love say and backed away from the door, hurt, towards his daughter who was still on the phone.
“I, .... I forgot, I have a meeting. Sorry. Bye Deanna!” He whispered to the brunette and walked out of the apartment door, before Deanna could say anything.
“At.... eight o’clock?” Deanna called after him, confused.
*~*~*
Riley was sitting in front of the TV, as always, when he heard a hard pounding on his door and he got up, grumbling and cursing.
But froze when he saw the smirking face behind his door.
“Hello, Finn!” Spike said, much too friendly.
*~*~*
“Okay, til tomorrow! Yeah, I’ll tell her. Bye Spike!” Deanna chanted into the phone and rushed towards her mom’s bedroom, surprised to find her mother’s brunette friend sitting on the large bed.
“Hey sunshine!” Faith grinned and held her arms open for the 4’4” small girl.
“Hi!” Deanna beamed, hugging the dark girl fiercely, before jumping next to her mother on the fluffy satin sheets, bouncing off the mattress.
“How’s your day been, honey?” Buffy smiled and then threw the red dress onto her daughter. “And care to explain what you’ve planned for me to wear this?”
“Nothing!” Deanna smiled, then moved to her mom’s side, pouting. “Moooooooooom?”
“What?” Buffy asked sceptically and Faith only smirked.
“Claire’s got a sleep-over tomorrow night and I’m invited. Pleeeeease, can I go there?” Deanna pleaded with her best puppy-eyed face.
“Enie!” Buffy said. “We’re going to Snoopy on Ice tomorrow, because of you!”
“I know, and I will. The sleep-over begins late and I already talked to Uncle Spike on the phone! He says he can drive me to Claire’s after Snoopy on Ice. And Angel can bring you home, then!” Deanna explained, performing like an Oscar-actress.
Her mother didn’t need to know that she was invited to that party for over a month and didn’t really want to go, but she’d do a lot for her parents to get back together.
“Please, Mom? Pleeease?” Deanna could actually see the ice break in her mother’s face and had to bite down a giggle. Literally. She bit so hard, her cheeks and teeth hurt.
“’Kay.” Buffy grumbled. “You won.” Buffy said and Deanna nearly knocked her out by jumping onto her and hugging her so strongly that Buffy feared the little oxygen she’d left in her lungs.
“You’re the best mom in the world! Ever!” Deanna charmed and only hugged her tighter. And of course Faith didn’t help her.
The girl only sat there. And laughed. And smirked. And laughed.
“Enie! ENIE! I CAN’T BREATH!” Buffy yelped and the small girl finally let go, being cuddled and tickled by Faith.
“Isn’t it past your bed time, cutie?” Buffy asked and Deanna’s smile fell.
Grumbling she walked out of the door.
“And don’t forget to brush your teeth!” Buffy called after her.
“Really, B. You’ve got the cutest daughter in the world. And she’s SO small!” Faith grinned goofy. “But back to the main topic: Was he good or not? Spill!”
“Faith!” Buffy exclaimed. “Don’t you think my first time is MY business! Really, with you it’s like I’m still in HIGH SCHOOL!”
“C’mon, girlfriend. It’s ME! You know about my orgasm at McDONALD’S last year!” Faith continued pleading. “Sides, you need something to distract you from that stupid cast your arm’s in!” Faith smiled warmly.
Buffy’s head shot around and she smiled at Faith.
It was the first time Faith had mentioned ANYTHING about her injuries.
*~*~*
“Good morning, Dru!” Buffy chirped when she entered her office and poured herself a cup of steaming coffee, and as always it was still way too hot and – as always – Buffy burned herself with the hot liquid.
Dru only chuckled.
“I hate this cast!” The blonde advertising executive cursed under her breath.
And Drusilla was careful to avoid reminding her that Buffy did that EVERY morning, since the morning she drank something hot. Cast or not.
But sleep had been kind to the young mother and the bruises in her face and the black eye had nearly faded away completely, leaving the deep cut on her lip all alone.
“You look better today!” Dru smiled and held the door open for her boss, who was struggling with the many files under her arm to handle the doorknob.
“I know!” She smiled back. “’Sides, I have to. I’d look ridiculous if I’d go all messed up, dressed up to a ‘family date’.” She told the brunette and mumbled a thanks when said brunette helped her with the door.
Dropping all of her files to the floor she was at least able to rescue her coffee when she – once again – got startled by the father of her daughter standing in the middle of her office.
“Oh, and Angel’s waiting for you, inside!” Dru called and shut the door.
Angel began laughing like a loon and collected her files from the floor, placing them on her desk. “You were right. You ARE clumsy.” He teased her, receiving a mock-glare from Buffy.
“You look good today.” He said, and other than when Dru had said it, Buffy found herself blushing.
“Thanks.” Buffy whispered, drawing a lock of golden hair behind her ear.
And Angel had to remind himself over and over that he KNEW she just wanted to be friends with him and that he’d gladly be that for her, rather than have her not in his life at all, in order to keep himself to not OBVIOUSLY stare at her.
“So?” Buffy smiled at him. “Prepared for Snoopy on Ice? Oh, and dress up! Spike wants us to eat at some restaurant at 6o’clock. Deanna’s wish.”
“’Kay!” He smiled back, sitting down on her couch. “I’ve never been to Snoopy on Ice before.” He admitted.
“No? Boy, what kind of childhood have you had?” Buffy teased. “I LIVED for Snoopy on Ice. Once a year, my father would visit it with me and take me Backstage, and every single year I’d be thrilled the same. I just loved it. But I loved ice-skating anyway, sooo...”
“You’re into ice-skating?” Angel smiled, surprised.
“All winter sports. But mostly ice-skating, yeah.” Buffy smiled. “One of the kids in my kindergarten said that momm’s would take their daughters ice-skating. And since I only had a daddy I wanted to show them that I could do that on my own, too. I was obsessed. My room was a whole Dorothy Hamill shrine. That went on till Junior High.”
Angel chuckled and looked at his hands. She was just too good to be true in his eyes. Turning in his seat in her leather couch he looked her in the eye. “When was the last time you were on your skates?” He asked her.
“Woah, um, Deanna’s first birthday I guess. Dad would take me and all of my friends to the rink out in downtown.” She said, exhaling.
“Then, I think I know what we’re gonna do next Friday, since today’s already planned out.” Angel grinned up at her.
Buffy had to smirk right back at him. “You? Angel Liery on skates? Can you even skate?”
“Actually, no.” He admitted, grinning.
“But you can show me how.” He said, flirting.
*~*~*
Buffy stood in front of her mirror, smoothing down the soft fabric of her blood-red dress that hugged her curves just in the right places.
The dress was knee-length, but only transparent from mid-thigh to knee and a low cleavage, hold by two tiny spaghetti straps. Her hair was pulled up artfully, revealing her neck while a few single strands of hair fell to their full length. And her feet were embedded in simple red high heels, matching the dress.
And when Deanna entered her mother’s bedroom she was still frowning into the mirror, biting her lip and turning around every third second.
“Wow, mom, you look *awesome*!!” Deanna breathed, looked her up and down. **Angel’s gonna be knocked off his feet!** She grinned to herself.
“You think so?” Buffy asked her daughter way too unsure.
“I know so! Mom, you’re breathtaking!” Deanna convinced her, tugging at her uninjured arm. “C’mon, Spike’s parking in the driveway and Angel just arrived.”
Deanna herself wore a simple black, button-up, satin dress with puffed sleeves that made her look like a cute, little pre-schooler, matching with the two ponytails.
“HELLO? Could you *please* hurry up?! We’ve got bloody *reservations*! Do you *know* what that means?!” Spike cursed, yelling towards Buffy’s bedroom. “Women!”
“We’re coming!” Deanna shouted back and turned back towards her mother. “Mom? Are you ready?”
“Yes.” Buffy breathed out, breathed in. “Yes. I think so.” She said, turning to the door that Deanna was about to walk out of.
“No!” She yelped and ran back inside her walk-in closet, leaving a groaning nine-year-old behind.
“Oh, please, someone just shoot me! My mom’s worse than me!” Deanna grumbled before jumping after her legal guardian. “MOOOOM!”
“I’m ready! I’m ready!” Buffy shouted, exiting in a black, ¾ leather coat, before stopping in front of the mirror. Again.
“Can I do this?” She asked, turning to her daughter again.
“YES!” Deanna exclaimed. “Now, COME ON!” The small-sized brunette huffed and ran out of the room, grabbing her jacket from the couch.
“*GOD*, she’s worse than *Willow* in picking out her clothes!” Deanna told Spike, glaring.
Who only smirked in reply. “*Nobody* is worse than Willow in that point, pet. Believe me.” He tucked at one of Deanna’s pigtails.
“Bloody Hell, BUFFY!” He shouted towards room N° 3, where the blonde, 27-year-old still hid in.
Angel stood in the doorframe, smiling. He kind of enjoyed that little play in front of him. It made him feel like he was a part of her little family.
It was kinda nice to feel like that.
But he froze when the stunning blonde finally made her way out of that bedroom of her’s.
And she took his breath away. So the only thing he could do was stare when she stopped in the middle in the room and turned in a full circle.
“You like?” She asked both Angel and Spike, but only looked at the dark-haired, taller male in the room.
And Angel snapped out of it, and smirked at her instead, offering his arm to her. “Shall we, beautiful?” He charmed and Buffy took his arm, smiling right back.
“We shall.” She said and together they strolled out the door, leaving Spike and Deanna behind, who was grinning like a fool at her godfather in an I-told-you-so kind of way.
*~*~*
“Spike, is this the *same* tux you wore on our Prom?!” Buffy exclaimed, looking closely at her life-time friend for the first time that evening.
But Spike only smirked at her. “Isn’t it amazing that I still fit into the clothes I wore nine years ago?” He replied and Buffy only shook her head in disbelieve.
“I *can’t* believe you!” Buffy grinned, picking half-heartily through her Spaghetti Napoli.
“And *what* did you earn that bruise for?” She said, gesturing towards his swollen forehead.
Spike only shrugged, glancing at Angel.
There was no need to tell Buffy about his visit at Riley’s place, was there?
“He fell.” Angel covered quickly, nervously. “Yesterday, wh-when we were out with Deanna.”
“Yeah!” Deanna confirmed. “He tripped over a mailbox.” The girl said, totally straight-faced. “He got *distracted* by that woman in a shop bending over to pick up her fallen purse, nearby.”
Buffy only quirked her eyebrow at Spike and finished her meal. Earning a “FINALLY!” from her daughter who immediately grabbed her mother’s wallet and laid the money on the table, picking up her jacket and running to the door, jumping from one foot to the other and waiting for the others to arrive. It was already late and they had to hurry in order to arrive at the Ice Rink in time.
“Come on!” Deanna grumbled quietly. They were in a formal establishment, after all. “Snoopy on Ice won’t bloody wait!”
“She spends way too much time with Spike.” Buffy told Angel, shrugging on her coat who only smiled back at the young mother, walking her out of the building.
“Deanna, wait up! It’s dangerous!” Buffy called after her daughter who had crossed the busy street all on her own, between the many driving cars.
Together they walked towards Spike’s car that parked near to the restaurant and unlike than Spike, Angel held open the door for both Deanna and Buffy and the blonde noticed not for the first time that evening how sweet he really was.
She could never ever imagine Riley doing something so gentleman-like.
Deanna, after long complaining, sat in the passenger’s seat, next to a driving Spike and Buffy and Angel were jammed in the back seats of Spike's small, black sports car.
“I kind of like this.” Buffy whispered up to Angel, her head resting on his shoulder.
“Huh?” He whispered back, starlet.
“I like it. You know, it’s kinda like family.” She said, smiling up at him.
And even if it sounded cliche and corny, his heart melted at that moment. “I know the feeling.” Honestly, he wanted to freeze this moment so it would never end. He hadn’t been this happy for a long time.
“We’re almost there! We’re almost there!” Deanna chanted in the passenger’s seat, bouncing up and down and fumbling with the sleeve of her jacket.
*~*~*
“Bye!” Deanna shouted out of the open car-window when Spike drove off with her towards Claire Hudson’s home where she’d spend the night.
“Bye,” Angel and Buffy shouted after her unison, chuckling at each other and waving to the retreating sports car.
“I can walk you home if you want.” He suggested. “You know, it’d dark and all and the only car there was with us this night drove off two seconds ago, so...” He rambled uneasily which Buffy had to grin at.
“I’d love it if you walked me home, Angel,” She confirmed, smiling at the large grin appearing all over his handsome face.
So they stumbled down the street off towards her home, giggling and joking around the whole time, because Deanna Summers had made more than sure that they drank more than a little more than necessary and the two of them barely made to her apartment door with out getting lost on the way.
And when she invited him in on a glass of wine, who was he to deny this beautiful woman?
So there they sat in her living room across from each other, flirting and completely drunk.
That was, until Buffy shot around the table and attacked Angel’s lips, sucking his tongue into her mouth. Straddling his lap, she pressed her knees on both sides of his thighs.
Angel didn’t even recover from the first surprise when Buffy ripped the black fabric of his silk shirt off his body, tracing the lines of his chest with her blood-red colored fingernails. He moaned into her mouth and kissed along her jawline before moving to the soft skin of her neck, massaging her legs gently with long, firm strokes of his hands.
Buffy stripped him off his pants, then, leaving him only in his silky black boxers while Angel unzipped her dress and pushed it ever so slowly down her body, kissing every inch of skin it revealed.
“Oh god, Buffy!” He groaned and the blonde pushed him off the couch, shoving him not too gently through the hall into her bedroom, all the while never losing contact to his skin.
*~*~*
**Oh God** was the first rational thought Buffy could think of. What did she do?? Panicking she jumped out of bed and slipped on the first fabric of cloth around.
Which happened to be his button-up shirt and her eyes widened. She was about to rip it off her body again when she lay eyes on the man sleeping so peacefully in her large bed and she could only think about how right it looked to have him there.
And sure enough, the shirt stayed on her body and she sat back down on her bed again, stroking his arms ever so lightly, so that she wouldn’t wake him up.
And for the first time, since she laid first eyes on him, she noticed exactly HOW really beautiful that man was. Not that she hadn’t noticed before, she had eyes, hadn’t she? But it was the way that little smile played along his lips in his sleep and the even, slow moving of his chest while he breathed in and out. In and out. In and out. The way he lay so still, unmoving and silent expect this silent breathing.
He was sound asleep and he looked so very *damn* peaceful that Buffy could do nothing but fall in love with right that moment. Hard.
And it scared her. Hadn’t she wanted to be friends with this *gorgeous* man just a few hours ago? Hadn’t she ended her last relationship only a few days ago?
And what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he didn’t even remember their lovemaking? He had drunk even more than her, after all.
Panicking again, she jumped off the bed, sprinting into her kitchen and switching on the coffee machine, hitting her damn broken arm, or more hitting the cast, against the side of the counter and she bit down a scream of pain, afraid she’d wake Angel up in the process.
But what if he felt the same way as she did? What if he was in love with her, too?
Well, only one way to find out....
*~*~*
Angel woke up with a silly grin on his face. But he never opened his eyes, too afraid if he did, it all would only be a dream. A wonderful, amazing, arousing dream. He’d actually experienced the best night of his life. It had nearly been like they’d worshipped each other with their passion. Truly making LOVE, a thing he’d never understood before that night. And true, there was the ‘corny’ part again, but he was more in love with that amazing woman than ever before in all those ten years.
And with all the fluffy feelings he reached out to her. Only she was already gone.
His eyes shot open and he looked around the room, realising that he’d never been in her bedroom before.
Getting up, he pulled on his boxers and looked around a room. Chuckling he noticed her decoration was the taste of a five-year-old’s. The wallpaper was a very light pink and everything was fluffy and soft.
And on her nightstand was a little pink pig.
Not to mention the hundreds of stuffed animals in her wooden shelf.
But then it hit him. Hadn’t she told her friend that she wanted only to be friends with him? For her, this had to be the biggest mistake she ever made, something that happened out of the amount of alcohol in her blood, again. An accident. One damn little accident that happened in this innocent room of her’s, that easily could go through as Deanna’s.
Deanna! Oh god, what would she say about this? Not to mention that Buffy had broken of her MARRIAGE only a few days ago.
Oh God, what did he do? He’d destroyed every little chance he had with her. Burned down the roots and cut down the seeds.
Panicking, he walked down her hall, hearing her moving around in the kitchen. And surely, there she stood in nothing but his shirt with her back towards him, pouring herself a cup of steaming coffee.
“Hey,” He whispered and she shrieked loudly dropping the mug which broke on the cold tiles into billions of little pieces next to her dangerously bare feet.
“Oh my,” He sighed and walked to her side, helping her collecting the bigger pieces between the hot liquid that flowed over the whole area.
“God, you scared me.” Buffy admitted sheepishly, getting the broom and the dustpan before she began sweeping the floor.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered to her, helping her cleaning the floor. “You should go get yourself slippers. It’s not a good idea moving through all this nasty pieces of china with your bare feet.” He smiled at her.
“So should you.” She smiled back, making no attempt to follow his advice.
And when she looked into his eyes and he stared back at her she could do nothing but get lost in that gorgeous smile. She made her mind up and tried to be *brave* for once and tell her what she really felt instead of backing out of it and hiding till it went away and out of her reach. “Angel, I lo---“
“This was a mistake.” Angel said quickly, so he would be first to tell her. He was sure this was going to come from her, so he HAD to say it first in order to rescue *anything* that was left of their friendship. He couldn’t lose her. Not like this. Even when it broke his heart. “I – I don’t know --- how it happened – again – but it was a mistake. I ... don’t... feel this way... about you. It’s just... I want to be your friend. Is that okay for you? I-it must have been the alcohol, I think. I mean – you’re a beautiful woman and I---“ He stopped, confused about the look in her eyes. It was almost as if...
Her heart broke. In thousands of little hurting pieces that stung her flesh. It was almost as if he had ripped her heart out of her chest and danced on it. Lambada, or Boogie, or maybe even Break-Dance. But she covered it quickly and ignored the heavy knot in her throat and choked it back. “Y-yes. A mistake. I-... Yes. I-I’d like to be your friend.”
*~*~*
But things changed. So very drastically. And when they had to work this Monday all they did was avoid each other. He hadn’t even waited for Deanna that day in the kitchen but left quickly.
Deanna had been so hyper and wanted to know everything that had happened to her and her father the rest of the evening. Of course Buffy didn’t tell her, because she just knew he wouldn’t want his daughter know about the MISTAKE he made.
So he’d come for Deanna at Sunday, going with her to the movies and asked her as always if she’d like to come with them, but the look in his eyes had spoken volumes.
So she’d denied. As always. And he’d tried to look sad. As always.
And now there was this Monday and she sat in her office. Alone. He hadn’t come to speak about the project with her like he always did and when she’d met him in the elevator during lunch break it had been so much more than awkward.
It was exactly like it had been with Jenny, her former High School best friend. They’d agreed to stay friend regardless to the fact that her first serious boyfriend Tyler had cheated on her with Jenny, only because Jenny’d been willing to open her knees for him. It’d been so awkward afterwards. Things had cooled off only more than a year later, a little before her seventeenth birthday. But things had never been the same again. Jenny had been replaced by Willow and Xander and now the contact was nearly broken completely. She only was still in touch with Jenny because they still lived in the same apartment building.
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t EXACTLY the same, since Angel hadn’t slept with her boyfriend, but with her. Besides; First: That’d be SO gross, and second: What boyfriend? She’d broken off her MARRIAGE! A thing he should have done ten bloody years ago!.... Woah!
But the person who’d said that you learned to appreciate some things only when they’d already slipped away from you, surely was one wise man.
Because Buffy only realised how much she really felt for Angel Liery when it was too late. If she just hadn’t drunk so much, she’d have been able to stay away from him. Instead she jumped his bones and destroyed the only chance she had with him.
Life was unfair.
*~*~*
“Something happened.” Deanna complained, sitting between Faith and Spike in an Ice-Cafe in downtown L.A. “I know something happened!” She growled again, receiving a chuckle from Faith once in a while and a roll of his eyes from Spike. “There has to have! I’m sure!”
“Shouldn’t we end her torment?” Faith asked Spike grinning.
“Nah. Children’s ears.” Spike commented, winking at the brunette across from him.
“THEY DID IT? WHY THE *HELL* AREN’T THEY TOGETHER, THEN?!” Deanna shrieked and Spike only stared at her dumbfounded. He hadn’t meant to let it slip to her.
“Sometimes humans are just too stubborn to admit.” Faith told the little girl sincerely. She’d long learned that Deanna Cameron Summers was more than a nine-year-old and certainly whole lot more intelligent and smart than a nine-year-old.
“Why can’t they just be together?” Deanna asked after a beat, her voice small and scared. “I want a daddy.” She admitted quietly, tears shimmering in her eyes and Spike had to blink several times to realise what he was seeing. He hadn’t seen Deanna cry for three years, and had been more than happy with it, because every time he saw the tear-stained face of the girl that was like a daughter to him his heart broke a little more.
Faith only smiled sadly at her and drew the 4’4” tall girl into her arms and simply held her. “You have a daddy, cutie. You have. And a great one. And believe me, even when they aren’t gonna be gettin’ together – which I don’t think, by the way – he’ll always be your father. And what I heard of him, he’ll also always, ALWAYS be there for you. Understand, little one?” She whispered softly into Deanna’s ear and stroked her hair. “And one thing more: *I* will always be there for you, too. Just like your mom, Spikey over there, your granddad and Wills and Xand. Understand? We’re there for you. Always. You’re not alone. Never.”
Deanna only sniffled into the brunette’s shoulder, nodding her head slowly. “And if you stop cryin’, then maybe I’ll help you get ‘em together. Deal?” Faith smiled at Spike over the little girl’s head, rocking her back and forth.
And Deanna quieted then, drawing back a little to stare straight into Faith’s eyes, who had crouched down to the girl’s height. “Promise?”
*~*~*
“Okay, Angel did you speak to the factory we’ll get the supply and cement? I have to have his answer on Friday, or else we’ll have to move the appointment for the first stone. That’d be a disaster.” Buffy said, sitting in her big leather chair in the meeting room at the end of the large table along with both Xander and Angel, all business mode.
“No, the Boss’s secretary simply wouldn’t call him out of his meetings, every single time I called. I’ll have to go over tomorrow.” He answered, straight-faced and completely serious.
“Good, do that. But don’t let him go, we need the whole supply. Not just little bits. That’s important!” Buffy told him, avoiding his eyes though. But he didn’t notice, since he was avoiding her gaze also.
And Xander sat in between, looking slightly lost. “Hello? What’s wrong with you guys? Since when are you so desperately *stiff*?!” He spat, looking from Angel to Buffy and back again.
Before his eyes widened. “You did!” He exclaimed and Buffy blushed while Angel tried to say something, but wasn’t able to get anything out but a few stammers.
“I-It’s not what you think.” Buffy managed to get out finally.
“Oh, no. I think I’m gettin’ this right. You two got all groiny and now you’re hell of embarrassed about it. What, no sparks?”
“NO!” They both yelped quickly, but were equally hurt to hear the other say it out loud, too.
“You’re ... not ... surprised?” Buffy asked sceptically.
“Nah.” Xander smirked at them. “Will, Ahn and I actually had a bet about that goin’ on. And now they both owe me twenty bucks, each. Ya know? They actually believed you two would hold yourselves together one more week!” He joked, grinning at the embarrassed faces of the One-Night-Stand lovers. Can you still call it a One-Night-Stand if it happened two times?
“Can we, um, change the subject, please?” Angel grumbled, looking anywhere but at Buffy.
“Yeah!” Xander grinned. “Look outta the window. Isn’t that the *perfect* sign?” He teased them, motioning towards a sign that hung largely on the skyscraper that could be seen directly out of Buffy’s window.
And Buffy glared at him, challenging. “No! The PERFECT sign is 33, 5 x 20 m large and fits exactly between window N° 1 – 20 of that skyscraper and if you stand in front of my desk and gaze out, all you see is that sign!” She informed him grinning, glad about the change of the subject, even if it was only a mock from one of her best friends.
Angel only watched her sadly. Joking with a friend of her’s. Someone she actually *liked*.
And so he went out of the room, but it seemed she didn’t even notice.
But she did, but kept back the hurt she felt and struggled to hold her grin in place when Xander said something snappy about one of the snobby guys from the 78th floor he met in the break room half an hour ago. She actually fought herself to not cry immediately.
*~*~*
Riley walked, with a bruised face and body and a bloody chin towards his ex-girlfriend’s apartment, talking about her “best friend”.
He boiled with rage. How dare she send her lap dogs after him! She was lucky he didn’t sue her for that one. It wasn’t like he couldn’t. He was one the most successful lawyers in California. He had all the ways to torture her in front of the judge all in his head.
But he wouldn’t. No. Not yet, that was. First he’d get his revenge. Screw the money. He could get Lilah Morgan any time, and that woman was actually a little interesting.
Don’t think anything different, he knew he was being cruel and heartless. But that was who he was. The person his oh so nice father had taught him to be, back in Iowa. Someone who wasn’t as dump as all the other “Farm-Boys”: nice and so incredibly stupid.
Who could blame him for that? He was smart and in the law firm. He could get everyone behind jail, good or bad. He didn’t care. A job was a job, and he only did his right.
It was his right to have a woman obey him. This was a man’s right. All the more good if she was of the rich side.
Well, and if not Buffy, then some other naive slut.
Pounding against her door he yelled her name.
*~*~*
//You and me
We used to be together
Every day together
Always
I really feel
that I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be
the end\\
Honestly? Buffy felt like dying, curled up in a fetal position on the leather couch in her office that now seemed much too big for her alone, because now Angel wasn’t sitting right beside her.
Was it really just a week ago that he’d sauntered into her office after a whole ten years?
It felt like she’d spent years at his side and had been left by him after fifty years of marriage. At least that was the feeling her gaping heart told her.
In one week the handsome, well-talented stranger had become her best friend, lover and love of her life. And just as soon as he’d appeared in her life, he was gone again. In a way.
//It looks as though
you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know\\
He wasn’t talking to her since the most horrible 30-minute-meeting with Xander not two hours ago. And she’d tried. She’d really tried.
But after she’d not only tried his office, the break room, her dad’s office and everything else she could think of, she’d found him in the lobby.
And the moment he’d seen her he ran, really ran, towards the elevator and pushed the buttons panicking, so she wouldn’t be able to follow.
//Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts\\
And when she’d caught up with him back up in the 79th floor, he’d pretended that he hadn’t seen her. Afterwards Buffy had tried to talk to him about that wonderful night – again- for the nearly hundredth time that day, but he’d made up a way sorry excuse and fled from the scene. As if he was ashamed of what he’d done.
As if that night had been the worst of his life.
Exactly like the one so many years ago.
//Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty
frightening
As we die,
both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry\\
So now she sat in her dark office, peeking out into the already darkened L.A. night and the moon that shone so much too brightly and full for her eyes to adjust in the small room clouded in black.
He hadn’t even told her the words. Hadn’t even said anything about the night except ‘it was a mistake’ and ‘let’s forget it ever happened’. And that had been right after.
He’d never actually said that he’d hated it. He hadn’t bothered to let her know.
As if he didn’t care at all.
Which, maybe, he really didn’t.
//Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts\\
And that was the fact that hurt the most.
Although she was sure that she’d die on the spot if he really said those words, at least he’d show her he cared about their night together. Even if it was in the exact other way than she did.
But all he did was try to forget it. Play it down.
He didn’t know she was crying all alone and broken in her office. Didn’t even care where she was, although they were supposed to have another meeting right that moment.
//It's all ending
You gotta stop pretending
who we are...
You and me
I can see us dying
... are we?\\
In another world, where she was still the careless freshly turned seventeen-year-old and he the handsome bachelor, there –maybe- would have been a happy ending for them.
But she wasn’t seventeen. And they didn’t live a fairy-tale.
And he didn’t love her.
Even though she did.
//Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don’t
Don’t
Hush, hush, don’t
Hush, hush, don’t
Hush, hush, don’t tell me cause it hurts
Hush, Hush, don’t
Hush, hush, don’t
Hush, hush, don’t tell me cause it hurts\\
*~*~*
“What the FUCK do you want, Riley?!” The brave nine-year-old barked at her ex stepfather-to-be, standing at the door and gripping the wood as if her life depended on it. Oh, please, couldn’t Faith hurry on the toilet???? “You’re NOT welcome, here!”
“Out of my way, BRAT! I’m gonna have a nice little chat with your mommy.” He glared down at her as if it was the girl’s fault Buffy’d broken up with him and not his own.
“No!” Deanna glared up at the so much larger guy equally as strong, although she was so very frightened on the inside.
“You think you can prevent me from it, *child*?!” Riley Finn shouted at her.
But Deanna didn’t even flinch. “Wait up, Riley. You know all about your rights. You’re a lawyer. And the moment Dad or Spike find out you were here, they---“
“DAD?!” Riley yelped horrified, interrupting her in mid-sentence. “You know the piece of shit a week, father or not! How come you call that *wanker* DAD, but you needed a whole *year* to stop calling me Mr. Finn?!” Riley screamed at the small brunette.
“Because he *is* my father. He isn’t just *pretending* that he likes me!!” She shouted as loud at her little lungs allowed. “Face it, Riley! Mom HATES you! And my parents are FINALLY together again and there’s absolutely *nothing* you can do about it!!”
“Oh, yes?” Riley smiled cruelly. “So she *did* cheat on me, the little slut. Wait, oh, wait unti---“
“I think that’s enough, Ri,” Faith said calmly, appearing behind Deanna at the door. “I think you should go now. Or you’ll have to deal with the police.” She threatened coolly.
And Riley only glared at her. “Tell her I was here! TELL HER!” He barked, punching into the wall next to Faith’s face which made Deanna jump and backed up towards the staircase before his form disappeared fully.
Leaving Faith to take care of a horrified and scared little child, sobbing in her arms.
*~*~*
Angel left the building of Summers & Co. as quickly as possible. He wouldn’t be able to make it past one sentence without kissing her. Ever.
That day was a nightmare.
He know he was acting like a chicken, looser, jerk and what so ever. He ran away from her all day, only to avoid possible embarrassing questions or the possibility to simply shout out the words ‘I LOVE YOU’ through the whole damn building and trashing every chance he ever had with her.
Or worse: Breaking her feelings and losing her.
Not that he ever had her in the first place. But that wasn’t the topic.
Angel fled into his car and drove off much too fast into the darkened L.A. evening sky. He needed to get away so damn much. Needed to forget the bloody problems in his life.
Maybe he’d get himself drunk tonight.
*~*~*
“Hello?” Buffy walked into her apartment, but the lights were out and nobody seemed to be there. Which was odd because normally Deanna sat waiting for her in the kitchen, doing her homework or making herself a sandwich, painting, playing Game Boy or phoning.
But today she wasn’t there.
Buffy almost began to panic when she found a small note on the fridge, almost like the one she found ten years ago, on a different fridge, in a different apartment, written by someone else and with different words.
Hey Girlfriend,
I took Deanna with me,
so don’t freak, she’s okay.
Go to sleep, watch a movie
or whatever, just get your mind
off of him. There’re Spaghetti
left over in the fridge.
CU tomorrow,
I’m taking care of your girl,
~Faith
Sighing she walked towards the refrigerator, pulling out the cold plate with Spaghetti Napoli as cold as the plate itself and shoved them into the microwave, turning on the radio and turning the volume as loud as possible, in order to stop the rambled thoughts in her scull.
Pressing her hands against her head and pulling at her hair she shouted herself well to the beating sound of Linkin Park’s Crawling.
// Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I feel
Confusing what is real\\
And she simply ignored the sound of the microwave telling her her meal was ready and leaned heavily against the counter, turning the volume up just a little more and letting the tears flow over her cheeks.
//There’s something inside me
That pulls beneath the surface
Consuming – confusing
This lack of self control
I fear is never ending
Controlling
I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence
I’m convinced there’s just
To much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure \\
But she never gave a sound. Not one sob escaped her lips and she opened the fridge again, drawing out a box of OJ and pouring herself a glass of it.
But she never touched it. Simply stared into the orange fluid.
// Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I feel
Confusing what is real\\
Wiping her tears away in one swift motion she stood up fully, opened the microwave and pushed to burned Spaghetti all the way into the trash, quickly followed by the OJ.
And the glass and plate.
//Discomfort
Endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting – reacting
Against my will
I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence
I’m convinced there’s just
To much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure\\
Feeling the tears return a second time she made quick process with the radio and threw it against the wall in anguish, before fleeing out of the walls around her and leaving the building in order to clear her head some.
//Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I feel
Confusing what is real \\
*~*~*
Today was supposed to be the best day of her life, so well planned and everything had already been ready.
And in the end, this day wasn’t different then every other day of the year.
She was supposed to walk down the aisle in her flowing white velvet dress in order to become Mrs. Riley Finn, in about two minutes hadn’t she broken it all off.
But there was no aisle and no dress on her body and her heart was broken in that chest of hers.
And not because of Riley Finn, no, he didn’t have anything to do with that aching in her pumping heart. Not at all.
And it wasn’t that she thought she made the wrong decision. No. It was simply the fact that only two weeks ago she was so sure she knew where her life was going or who she was. That bothered her.
Two weeks ago she’d pretended to be the happiest woman on earth, eager to marry the jack ass known as Riley-the-Frog-Man, moving into a huge, white villa in a small village near L.A. with her big and shiny car, Deanna in the backseat and her plastered fake-smile in her purse.
And now she stood here, her happy facade having crumbled down, being forced to admit the depths of her feeling for a man she barely knew and a future that lay ahead of her which she knew absolutely nothing about.
And it was all still the same. But somehow not.
The same hall, the same people working there, the same elevator getting her into the 79th floor. Greeting her employees with fake-smiles, as always. Dru sitting on her desk as always. Pouring the coffee all over her new dress, as always. Tripping over the one step into her office, as always.
But all the same, the hall suddenly looked so dark, as if there was no sunshine coming through at all. The people all looked suddenly so sad and the elevator seemed so small she was almost afraid of getting no air, although over 20 people were able to fit in there normally.
Dru was babbling into the phone and for the first time she didn’t notice Buffy entering. The coffee dropped onto her arm, not her feet, legs or skirt and she tipped two inches too late into the office and fell onto the floor. Hard.
She never fell hard.
Cursing, Buffy got up, placed her half-filled coffee mug – due to the fact that half of it had been flowing down her hand- onto her desk and walked out again, into the hall.
She wanted to go away again, wanted to curl up into her bed and stay there until time ceased to be.
More so, she wanted back to that silent bench she’d been sitting on until dawn, staring out into the silent streets of L.A., usually so busy. But in the five hours she’d been sitting there, there’d been two cars driving through the main street. Only two. And it felt so very abnormal and unfair because when she had wanted the chaos so desperately, had wanted to see something being so out of wind as she was, everything had been calm and at peace.
And than there was the only thing that chaos of her life that never seemed to change, and she turned towards the familiar ‘pling’-noice of the opening elevator doors.
And froze.
*~*~*
When the doors of the elevator opened the whole 79th floor looked after him, as always. He stepped out of the cabin with his long coat flowing behind him, in his black slacks and shirt and dark sunglasses so that you could only guess the color of his eyes.
And – as always- he didn’t even notice the stares from the various women – secretaries, employees, guests, customers – but one.
Buffy.
She was standing, beautiful as always, in the middle of the hall, having stopped and turned around when she’d heard the familiar sound of the elevator doors opening, in hope to see the man she’d been trying to catch up with for the last week and longer.
Her eyes were steadily locked to his and he didn’t seem to be able to look away even when he so desperately wanted to.
Only when she looked away, he was able to do so, too. “Hav- Have you spoken to Snyder Sons? W-we really need the cement and.... stuff.” She rambled, remembering her cover-story for meeting him.
“Yes.” Angel answered. And his voice was much to gathered and strong for her liking.
Seemed he really didn’t care. “Oh. Good.... You...... They...... Does?..... What did they....”
“They’re gonna send it in today. The workers can begin tomorrow. Means the schedule’s still working proper.” He told her. “But I think Snyder wasn’t kosher. He seemed so..... troll-y?” He mumbled, avoiding her eyes all the time. He could keep up his cool facade as long as he didn’t have to look into those beautiful eyes. But what the heck? She probably wouldn’t even notice.
She wanted to be friends.
“Oh.” She said, her voice terribly sad. Which didn’t go unnoticed by the handsome dark-haired man in front of her and he lifted his gaze from the floor.
And Angel stared into her beautiful hazel-orbs and moved closer, inch by inch, his gaze lowering to her soft, pouty lips and staying there. He felt like dying right on the spot. He wouldn’t be able to take it when she rejected him now.
Reaching out he traced the lines of her mouth, his fingers barely touching her skin, hovering slightly above it as if he was too afraid to actually touch her. The sensation left her completely breathless and she felt like a puddle of goo on the floor, somewhere along with the pudding of her knees. And when he finally touched her lower-lip, she quickly sucked his finger into her mouth, making him moan loudly and the sound made her skin itch for him.
Determined she looked up into his dark, chocolate pools. “Quickie in my office?”
He could only nod helplessly before they dashed towards her office, completely ignoring the stares they received from the many other people in the room.
*~*~*
She lay all snuggled up into her warm and fluffy pillow, covered in her warm and fluffy blanket in her warm and fluffy bed. Hoping against fate that this *wasn’t* the afternoon sun shining through the large window right behind her desk and it wasn’t her dish washer that made all this terribly horrible sounds, but instead it was still late night, the apartment was still silent and little Deanna wasn’t gone out of bed and hopping around her kitchen, probably smashing all her dishes and favourite cups.
But fate wasn’t nice to her and Deanna chose that moment to dash through the door singing loudly some children’s wake-up-call-song and spilling her mug of hot cocoa all over her recently cleaned carpet.
Well, that tick she definitely had from her mom. Buffy also spilled every liquid there was all over herself.
Groaning, Faith lifted one of her many pillows over her head and threw another right at Deanna, but missing her aim in lengths, since she hadn’t looked where she threw it.
“You throw worse than mom; and her arm’s in a cast.” Deanna commented dryly, placing her suddenly empty mug – oh, oh, miracle: it was all poured over the floors of Faith’s home – onto the dresser nearby.
“Enie! Pleawe lep me wleep,” Faith whined, her voice nearly not audible through the thick fabric of pillow.
“It’s already twelve! You slept twelve hours straight!” The little girl argued stubbornly. She was hungry and she wanted to eat *now*. Not wait another three hours for her auntie Faith to finally awaken.
Faith’s only reaction was throwing her other pillow at Deanna and loosing her only barrier to the sunlight streaming through her window. “And? Normally I sleep until *two*!” Faith growled, clapping her hands desperately over her eyes to block out the light.
“Yeah, but *normally* you work during the night!” Deanna smirked, referring to Faith’s half-time job at club in downtown.
So the brunette only scowled and got out of bed, waddling half asleep towards her bathroom and the heaven of a nice warm bubble bath, in her Simpson’s boxers and Peanut’s T-shirt.
“Robbie Williams became a priest, you know?” Deanna called through the apartment, fixing herself a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich while leafing through one of Faith’s thousands of magazines, making herself as comfortable as possible.
“Yeah!” Faith called through the bathroom doors, extremely hoarsely. “Unbelievable, huh?” And one could clearly hear over the water running into the tub Deanna knew to be larger than her mom’s car. “That’s like.... like Spike would suddenly become a monk!” Faith slurred, her voice still tainted with sleep.
Deanna only smiled. She was supposed to be used to Faith’s moody mornings, Buffy was exactly the same in this, but somehow it was still fun every single time anew. “I’m gonna call mom!” She shouted over the running water.
“YEAH,” Faith screamed back, her voice cracking loudly in the middle and dying off completely.
*~*~*
“You MORON! You STUPID, IDIOTIC *MORON*!” Angel exclaimed, slapping himself hard against the forehead, pacing around in her office, still only in his boxers. “IDIOT!!”
He pounded his fist into the wall like a madman until his knuckled bled. This couldn’t be true!
He’d so scared her off. Driven her away once and for all. That was it. Of course she ran away.
Right in the middle of their little mambo, right the moment he’d driven her over the edge. Of course he’d slipped this. How could it be different?
He’d shouted a big loud ‘GOD, BUFFY I LOVE YOU!’ when he came. And she’d frozen on the spot in the aftermath of her orgasm and grew real silent, then jumped away from him, threw on her dress and leaving her underwear behind, only grabbed her shoes without pulling them on and skipped from the office.
Typical. World, meet Angel: the one who’d been able to make the woman of his dreams run away from him after sex *three* times!
He didn’t even hear a very confused Drusilla entering with widening eyes once discovering a man’s not so dressed appearance and Buffy’s underwear all over the place along with his clothing. “Uhm, .... well...” The pale woman stammered embarrassed, having discovered something she really *didn’t* want to know about her boss.
And Angel froze, turning around, grinning sheepishly. “Hey Drusilla.”
“Angel!” Dru exclaimed, she hadn’t recognised him on the start. I mean, come on, she didn’t see this guy half-naked very often!
“I..... I, well.” And all the blood rushed straight to his face, turning his blush into the color that reminded her more of a tomato.
And Dru only began to smile at him, lifting his black slacks from the floor and handing them to him. “What are you waiting for?? Run after her!!” Dru smirked when Angel only give her the brightest smile she’d ever seen on him and dashed out of the room.
Only to return and grab his clothing strewn all over Buffy’s office.
*~*~*
Buffy felt a little stupid, running with bare feet through L.A. downtown when there were two beautiful, nice sandals hanging around at her hands.
But she really couldn’t care less. He said he loved her! Well, okay, so he was having an orgasm while actually shouting, more than saying it.
But he’d said it all the same and she hadn’t been able to do anything but flee.
She’d got cold feet, she knew that.
But what was she supposed to do? Jumping in his arms and testify her love for him? Right on the day she was supposed to actually marry another only a few days before?
What would he say? Would he take it back? Would he think of her as a slut, jumping in bed with a man at every chance she got?
Well, he wasn’t able to think different, was he? It had happened not twice but three times with him!
And, what would Deanna say? What would her father say? Or her friends.
What was she supposed to do now?
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with him. God, everything but that. Actually, she never wanted to leave his side again. But wasn’t it to soon? Wasn’t she supposed to wait before hurrying into the next relationship?
She loved him. But could she really be with him?
*~*~*
When Angel arrived at her apartment he found the door unlocked. And since nobody had answered the door over and over again, he decided to just step in.
Looking around him he found the entire hall dark as the night due to the fact that every single door was closed and not a single ray of sunshine came through one of them.
Walking as quietly as he could to not disturb the silence, a tick he sometimes had, like when he couldn’t talk when nobody else talked somewhere around him or in a church or museum. But then again, he guessed nearly everybody had that.
Opening her door quietly he stepped in only to nearly tip over in shock and surprise.
There she sat completely still and silent in front of her large mirror on the floor in Indian style.
In her wedding dress.
So he only swallowed. Twice. And shifted from one foot to the other, leaning against her doorframe and watching her without ever saying a word.
But neither did she. Buffy simply sat there and stared into her reflection, her face covered in sadness which tugged at Angel’s heart every second passing by.
“Today I was supposed to wear this, you know?” She whispered ever so quiet, suddenly.
And Angel only kept silent. He’d known that. How could he ever forget??? He’d promised her to help her through this day when they’d strolled through that park after she’d found Riley cheating on her. He’d promised her, but he hadn’t kept it. Today was her wedding day.
“I’m sorry.” Angel choked hoarsely. “I should hav...”
“No.” Buffy whispered, still not looking at him, but keeping her gaze locked firmly on the glass in front of her. “You did help me. You made me .... forget..... for a little while. ... And I’m grateful for that, Angel. I am.”
Ever so slowly and carefully he made his way over to her and crouched down beside her, looking into her eyes while she looked into her own in the mirror and tucked one loose strand of golden hair behind her perfect ear. “Maybe.... but I’m still sorry. I promised you to help you. And if you let me, I’d like to help you now.” He said softly, gazing into her sad face and he only wished he could let her smile return if anything else.
And Buffy smiled, if only a small smile, but a smile all the same which warmed Angel’s heart to no end. “Let me help you?” He asked her again and Buffy only nodded, never letting her eyes focus on anything but her reflection. That dress.
“This was my mom’s.” Buffy admitted silently, smoothing her hands over the velvet and carefully done lace on it. “Dad says she wanted me to wear it even before I was born.”
“You’re wearing it.” Angel said softly, stroking her hair back from her face, carefully lifting her locks and smoothing them behind her neck on her back.
“It’s not the same.”
“Not now, not today. But someday you’ll wear it. When you walk down the aisle of the biggest and most beautiful church there ever was, every single corner filled with red and pink roses and you’ll walk towards your Mr. Perfect. You’ll feel like the princess in a fairy-tale and I swear to god I’ll make him worship the ground you’re walking on. And even if I’ll probably never be that Mr. Perfect to you; I promise you I'll be there when that day comes.” He said in his smooth and silky voice that affected her in a way she would never ever be able to describe.
And she smiled, a true smile this time, because of the fact that he was both so silly to not believe he could be the man of her dreams and as well so sweet and gentle. And that he *still* remembered her favourite flowers.
But she had yet to retreat her eyes from that mirror, and Angel finally really sat down next to her, kissing her shoulder, bared by the dress, but never letting his gaze go from her face.
“Was it.....” Buffy trailed off, afraid of actually letting the words roll over her tongue.
“What?” He probed gently, taking her hand and stroking ever so lightly over the soft skin of her palm with his thump.
And finally she looked at him and the agony in her eyes made him want to bawl. “What it true... what you said.... earlier....?” Buffy asked unsure, embarrassed and scared all at once.
“Yes.” Angel replied in a low and even voice without hesitation, for the first time sure that it was time for him to tell her. He loved her, so why shouldn’t she know? “I love you, Buffy Summers. I loved you for the last ten years. Since I first laid eyes you.”
And Buffy’s eyes began to tear up and a little sob escaped her mouth before she drew Angel towards her and hugged him as fiercely as she could in her weakened-state and her arm in that cast.
“I’m sorry.” Buffy sobbed. “I love you, too. I do, Angel! But I can’t, not yet!” She cried into his shirt, clutching the fabric like a lifeline.
“I know.” Was Angel’s only reply and he breathed in the sweet smell of her vanilla shampoo.
And when Buffy finally quieted he didn’t release her from his embrace.
“Buffy, I...” He started and let her go, looking her straight in the eye. “I’ll wait for you. But don’t expect me to give up without fighting. I’ll do what ever is necessary to earn your love fully. I’ll fight for you, Buffy.” He said determined, but smiled at her.
And Buffy grinned at him. “Fight for me? With swords and all?” She smiled through teary lashes.
“I was thinking more around the lines of candle-light dinners, dozens of roses and chocolate.” He half-smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes,” She smiled softly. “I’ll make you something.” He said, getting up and walking towards her bedroom door. “Angel?” “Yes?” He turned around at her little call, so soft and quiet he nearly hadn’t been able to make it out at all.
“Stay with me today?” She pleaded with her big eyes and little girl voice, still sitting on the floor in that gorgeous dress and looking so damn cute and fragile. Like a doll.
“Of course.” He replied before disappearing into the kitchen to fix her something to eat.
Spaghetti. Her favourite.
*~*~*
“Someone laid the receiver next to the phone.” Deanna complained, slamming the portable phone onto the mattress of Faith’s bed.
“Don’t worry.” A freshly bathed and awake Faith said, walking around her bedroom in her much too big, green bathrobe, pulling a well-worn pair of jeans out of her dresser along with a cotton sweater and her undies.
“I’ll get you home, later. I have the key, ‘member? But first, we’re gonna eat something at Mr. Mc Puke’s!” She winked at the small girl and patted her on the head.
“Cool! Me and mom didn’t eat at Mc Donald’s for over a month!” Deanna told her proudly.
“Already suffering from withdrawal?” Faith smirked, leaving the room to get dressed.
*~*~*
Spike drove through downtown L.A. in Buffy’s shiny, silver convertible. Dark sunglasses firmly in place and smirking at every female passing by.
Okay, so Buffy didn’t know he was using it, and she’d probably kill him if she found out. Which she would once she wanted to go home from working and wouldn’t find her car standing in her parking space.
But hey, she wouldn’t be ready until late afternoon, which meant he had plenty of time to bring that lady-killer automobile back to it’s rightful owner’s place!!
But with widening eyes he looked after a male running down the road in the opposite direction.
Angel!!
And he was running straight towards Buffy’s apartment. Well, that was what he supposed, anyways.
But if Angel really did that, then it meant that little Miss-I-Will-Work-Longer-Today was actually at *home*!
Which meant he was in serious trouble now.
Panicking he turned around in the middle of the street, receiving various angry shouts and curses and ‘Fuck you!’s from the other drivers and drove much too fast back to the way he came.
Only to nearly hit a little girl running over the street.
Spike nearly jumped onto the brakes and was able to stop only inches in front of his niece.
Oh God, his NIECE! “DEANNA?!” Spike shouted devastated. He’d nearly run over little DEANNA SUMMERS!
“God, SPIKE!” Deanna exclaimed.
“What the HELL were you thinking driving this FAST! You could have KILLED her! This isn’t bloody well the freeway!!” Faith ran over to Spike and slapped him hard into the back of his scull.
“I’m SORRY! I didn’t look!!” Spike said and parked the car in second line, getting out of the convertible. “You okay, honey?” He knelt down in front of the smallest Summers girl to get into the same eye-height with her.
“Yeah.” Deanna confirmed. “Nothing happened.”
Relieved, Spike stood up again and stroked the small girl’s hair. Then frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school right now?”
“Pah.” Faith snored before Deanna even had the chance to reply. “This kid’s a GENIUS! She doesn’t need to go to school every single DAY!” Faith pronounced, grinning like a fool.
Spike only rolled his eyes and picked Deanna up. “You sure you’re okay, pet?” He asked her again.
“I’m FINE!” Deanna answered annoyed.
“O-Kay. So why aren’t you at school?” He asked the small-sized 7th Heaven-Fan.
“Well, Riley was there yesterday. And ... he said mean things and Faith brought me to her place. We were gonna go home and phone mom now!” Deanna said and she could actually see her uncle Spike’s eyes darken. “What?” She asked him confused.
“Riley threatened you?” Spike asked her, setting her down on her own feet. “Did he do anything to you?”
“No.” Faith said, stroking Deanna’s arm. “But he was... well, angry. And said things...well, let’s say it wasn’t nice. Nice job you did there, Spikey.” She commented sarcastically.
Spike winced at that. “Okay, I messed this up. Sorry. But..... Don’t tell Buffy.”
“WHAT?” Faith shouted, receiving the looks from the people around.
“What the HELL are y---“
“Buffy’s burdened enough. She already has to deal with the facts she knows about Riley Finn. She’s devastated she never saw what he really was!!! God damnit, Faith don’t you see? Buffy will blame herself for this mess! She already does! If she finds out that this piece of scum nearly did something to her DAUGHTER.... it’ll break her... So, don’t. Don’t tell her.”
And Faith quieted at that. “Okay.” She swallowed, then looked down at the small girl having her little arms slung around Faith’s waist.
“That’ll be our little secret, Deanna. Okay?” Spike asked her, crouching down to her height again and to Faith’s feet.
“Okay.” Deanna whispered back. “Um, Spike?”
“Yeah?” And the little girl smirked up at him. “Isn’t that mom’s car??”
*~*~*
Buffy stared into her plate of warm and delicious looking, so amazingly smelling Spaghetti and back at Angel, still hurrying through her kitchen, cleaning, cooking and entertaining her all at once. And then she looked at her trash that still held her last meal of Spaghetti. And the plate and the OJ and glass, hoping against hope he wouldn’t look into it.
She looked back at Angel, running through her kitchen as if it were his own, and she really liked that idea, and then looked back at her plate.
Smiling, she dived in, twirling the Spaghetti around her fork and stuffing it into her mouth.
And actually really moaned loudly at the taste of them. God, where did that man learn to cook like THAT?
Smirking, Angel turned around, leaned forward and leaned his forearms on the counter, watching her. She’d made exactly the same sound when she.... ok, don’t go there now. “Good?” He asked grinning mischievously.
“Amazing.” She corrected him. “My GOD, even Louisa doesn’t cook this well!” She said, clearly at the loss of words.
“Good to hear.” He smiled at her and drew the one single strand of hair he’d not so long ago pushed on her back behind her ear again.
It was amazing. She was the only person he ever met who wasn’t embarrassed being watched while she ate. She didn’t care. And he liked that.
“What?” She asked him, he hadn’t moved for quite a while but simply stared at her.
“Nothing.” He smirked. “You’re just beautiful.”
She blushed and locked at her plate again, circling her fork in the noodles. Glancing at the door through which she could see right into her bedroom, where her wedding dress lay neatly folded on her bed.
Looking down at her baggy pants and pink sweater she shrugged. “If you say so.” She mumbled carelessly and drew her attention back to the Spaghetti.
And Angel’s grin only grew wider. “C’mere.” He said and opened his arms.
And she hopped down from her bar-stool and stepped into his embrace, hugging him long and strong.
But they didn’t part, just stood there and she rested her head on his wide chest, sighing contentedly and he kissed the top of her head before resting his own head on her’s, rocking her gently.
*~*~*
“*I* like to read Card Captor Sakura! And Magic Nights Rayearth and Wish and Neon Genesis Evangelion and X!!!!!!"” Deanna protested loudly.
“Those are no *books*! Those are *comics*!” Spike argued with the 4’4” tall junior high schooler.
“Mangas!” Deanna corrected him. “And they are FAR better than your Batman and Superman comic collection!!!!”
“Can’t you read Harry Potter like *every* other normal child?!” Spike exclaimed. They’d been arguing the whole drive to the Summers’ home. “Or Lord of the Rings? I wouldn’t dislike Dr. Seuss, either.”
“DR. SEUSS????? ARE YOU *NUTS*? I’M *NINE*!!!!!” Deanna yelped horrified.
“Oh, C’mon, sweetie. Dr. Seuss’s awesome. One piece of great literature that shouldn’t be missed in anyone’s collection!” Faith smirked. “*I* have *every* single volume!”
“Me too.” Spike grinned at the brunette.
Deanna only rolled her eyes and unlocked the door to the apartment, frowning when she finds the lights on when her mother wasn’t supposed to be returning after late afternoon.
“Don’t tell me you never read them, darling. I *know* B. was obsessed with Dr. Seuss. She HAS read them to you!!” Faith ranted on. “’Sides, not having read Dr. Seuss is like not having watched the Peanuts or the Smurfs or Scooby Doo or..... or not having read Garfield or Calvin and Hobbes... or---“
“Hello?” Deanna called warily, listening very hard for a noise or a movement in the apartment she lived in, which made Faith quiet immediately.
Very quietly they made their way to the room the light was coming from and peaked a look into the kitchen.
And what they found were two very distracted people hugging in front of the counter. Buffy seemed to be nearly asleep in Angel’s arms who was rocking her ever so slightly from one side to the other, his eyes closed and a small smile playing on his lips.
Deanna only beamed like never before in her life and had to fight down the urge to jump up and down and sing with joy.
“Well, well.” Spike snickered loudly, causing Buffy and Angel to jump apart and receiving a kick to where it hurts from little Deanna....
Nearly doubling over in pain Spike groaned loudly while Faith only laughed like a loon.
And Buffy only grinned and walked back to the stool she’d recently occupied and continued eating her now colder plate of delicious Spaghetti Napoli. “Hey.” She told them, but only looked at Deanna. Holding out her loaded fork she winked Deanna towards her. “Taste!” She ordered.
Confused, the smallest Miss Summers walked towards her mouth, eating the offered noodles with widening eyes. “*YOU* didn’t cook that!” Deanna shook her head, amazed.
“Angel did.” Buffy smiled and Deanna’s head shot around to look at her father.
“There’s some left.” Was his only reply and Deanna rushed towards the cupboard and got herself a plate before positioning herself right in front of her Dad and holding out the plate with a wide grin on her face.
Rolling his eyes teasingly Angel took the china plate and arranged the Spaghetti neatly on it, handing it back to her.
“HEY! Me too! I’m starving!” Faith complained, shooting Deanna a look who was about to say something about their McDonald’s visit not SO long ago.
“Same here!” Spike voiced and walked towards the mahogany cupboard as well.
“You KNOW that these are actually MINE? Angel made them for *me*!” Buffy mumbled with her mouth full of Spaghetti with tomato sauce.
“Buffy, you weren’t really planning on eating *all of them*, were you?” Angel said smirking, arching one of his eyebrows.
“Oh, Oh, Angie, you don’t know our B.! She can eat as much as a football team! One of those many ticks of her!” Faith grinned at Buffy who sent her a mock-glare.
“Nah. I don’t think Buffy has a tick. I mean to remember that the eating thing can be normal with a woman. ‘Sides I’ve eaten with Buffy before and she doesn’t eat that much.” Angel commented, catching a big smile of Buffy’s in the process.
“OH! She HAS ticks!” Spike pronounced very slowly. “Like, sometimes she showers five times a day or the fact that she cries about every second movie. She cries at happy ends. She cries when someone’s hurt. She cries when someone dies. She cries when someone CRIES! Really, Buff’s built really close to the water in that case! Hell, that girl cried in TOY STORY! You should see her watching the LION KING!!!!!!” Spike ranted, stuffing the Spaghetti into his mouth after getting the plate placed right in front of him by Faith.
“I’m not that bad!!” Buffy protested.
“No? Remember ‘What Dreams May Come’? You cried from the very beginning when that kid dies to the bleedin’ fluffy happy end!!!!!” Spike huffed, looking the blonde straight in the eye.
“Come on, that movie was MEAN! First die the children, the he dies, but he can’t even enjoy his rest in heaven, ‘cuz he misses his SOULMATE only to find out she’s in hell because of suicide! And they are all dead!!!!! Don’t tell me that movie ISN’T sad!” Buffy yelped at the bleach blondie.
“Ok, I admit. What Dreams May Come WAS sad.” Spike mumbled, glaring at Buffy, who was watched with amusement by Angel, staring at her all the time. “But, YOU, girl, are crying every single week during the bleedin’ *TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL*!!!!!!! How sorry is that?!”
“I cry at Touched By An Angel, too!” Faith voiced grinning, receiving a shocked stare from Spike. “What?”
“I cry at that, too!” Deanna commented dryly. “But I’m allowed to. I’m a child.”
“No. Are you all CRAZY? WHAT the HELL is there to cry about?!” Spike said unbelievingly. “Please Angel, help me here, man!!!”
“Well, I find it kinda sad, too...” Angel trailed off and Spike was nearly so very much in shock that he almost fell from his stool.
And Buffy only chuckled. Partly because Faith was laughing so hard she choked on her meal and spit it out all the way onto Spike’s shirt.
*~*~*
Buffy’s eyes only widened when she opened the door to her office, Dru hot on her heels.
The large room was filled with dozens and dozens of red and pink roses, all smelling wonderfully sweet and not a corner was left empty. For a short time she even wondered how she’d ever be able to make it to her desk, and her coffee had long emptied itself on the floor, completely forgotten.
Walking slowly to the one single rose attached at the frame on the wall that held a picture of herself and Deanna when she was five she pulled out the small, simple, white card behind it that showed her face, sleeping, perfectly drawn by an amazingly talented hand that wasn’t so unknown to her.
Smiling she turned it around and was greeted by his beautifully flowing handscript.
I love you, A.
Hugging the paper close to her chest she skipped from her office, leaving a gaping Drusilla behind and ran though the great hall of the 79th floor only to stop in front of a glass-door, peaking her head inside, and smiling at Amanda, his secretary. (old, wrinkly, motherly and sweetly nice. But 60. She’d covered that problem immediately after she’d caught Riley with HIS secretary.) Strolling up to his office door she softly knocked and was greeted by the most handsome man she’d ever seen, smirking down at her.
“Is this the florist’s?” She quipped, smiling up at him through her long lashes that seemed to have no end.
“Guess so.” He smirked and took her hand gently, pulling her into his office.
Looking around her, she realised that she’d never been in his office before. Strolling along his shelves she traced the lines of his large, dusty books with just the tip of her fingers, flowing over the titles with her eyes.
Poetry. Loads of it.
“Any chance you’re ready, NOW?” Angel asked her hopefully, smirking at her back.
“You read all these?” Buffy said instead, simply ignoring his last comment.
“Yeah. You know, all these lonely nights, nothing else to do.... ‘Sides, I like ‘em. Read my first in elementary school.”
“I read Comics, then!” Buffy beamed, grinning at him. “Garfield and Calvin & Hobbes and Peanut’s!! And *I* was the child prodigy.” She joked, then turned to face Angel once again. “Thank you.” She smiled. “They are beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like them.” He smiled down at her, and the bill for these roses seemed to doesn’t matter anymore, because it had gifted him with this precious smile and that was worth it more than just a little.
“We’re gonna eat something at Mimmo & Santo’s later, when Deanna comes home from school. Are you hungry?” Buffy asked him so very innocently he simply had to smirk at her. She was just so adorable *cute*!
“Yeah.” He told her, beaming right back at her.
*~*~*
“Ciao bella. Come sta? Lungo tempo non ti ho visto. Cominciava che tu mi ai mancata.” The waiter, who obviously seemed to know Buffy quite well, smirked at her. “Quello e tuo amico, Buffy?” He asked her, mentioning towards Angel.
“No, no. Lui non e mio amico. Non ancora.” Buffy replied and Angel threw a startled look towards her. She spoke ITALIAN? And FLUENTLY? But what bothered him all the more was that she grinned back at the waiter. As if they were flirting!
“O, capisco” The waiter nodded, grinning.
“Tieni la bocca, Giuseppe.” Buffy said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, or so it seemed, from Angel’s point of view. She knew that guy by NAME! Sending a confused look towards Deanna he nearly doubled over. She nodded grinning towards that Guiseppe-guy! She UNDERSTOOD him!
“Come sempre?” The waiter asked instead, still smiling.
“Si.” Buffy smiled right back and looked at Deanna.
“Me too!” She told Guiseppe, and looked expectantly at her father and god-fathers. “What do you want to eat?” She translated, as if it was the most normal thing in the world that a nine-year-old was able to speak Italian.
“The usual. A big yummy Pizza Margarita.” Xander told Guiseppe, who he seemed to know as well, if you could count on Xander’s body-language.
“Pizza di al capone.” Spike stated and handed the menu back to Guiseppe, the tall, dark-haired, tanned and well-trained buddy of Buffy’s.
“Spinaci.” Angel said, grumbling, earning a mock-glare from Buffy.
“Could you bring us a Merlot, Guiseppe? And a coke for Deanna?” Buffy asked sweetly, causing Angel to roll his eyes annoyed. Jealous, much?
“Sure. I’ll be right back.” That waiter said and retreated, much too slowly for Angel’s liking, back behind the counter.
“Is it just me or did he work out recently?” She asked frowning, looking after Guiseppe. Oh, she KNEW what this did to Angel.
“Nah. Looks just the same to me.” Xander said shrugging. Not in the slightest getting it and Spike just smacked him in the head. “HEY!” He yelped at the bleach blonde, causing the entire restaurant to turn and look at him.
“Are you that dump or are you just pretending you didn’t get this?!” Spike asked Xander, patting him on the head.
“What didn’t I get?” Xander asked, clearly at the loss. Buffy was laughing as if she was stuck in a vat of laughing gas, while Angel only glared non too friendly towards a certain blonde woman in front of him. Shaking his head he turned towards Spike again. “What didn’t I get?”
“Oh my.” Spike snorted, disbelieving, just in time when their drinks arrived.
“C’mon, Angel. That’s Giuseppe di Ancona, we went to the kindergarten together. His family lives next to my grandparents in Venice.” Buffy explained to the guy whose eyes were darkened to a deep, deep black with jealousy. But then again, she found that quite attractive...
Swallowing, he snapped out of it, focusing on another subject instead. “So why do you speak ITALIAN? And why does DEANNA speak it???” Angel asked filled with awe. He’d learned French for years during High School and wouldn’t be able to get just one sentence straight out.
“I’m Dean Summers’ daughter! I’m supposed to speak several languages. In fact, I speak French, Spanish, Italian and German fluently! Not to mention that I AM half Italian!” Buffy said proudly, smiling. “that’s why Deanna speaks it, too. My grand-parents can’t speak English so she had to learn it.”
“Huh?”
“Her mom was an Italian.” Spike told him, opening the bottle of wine carefully.
“And her grands’ still live there.” Xander filled him in. Well, he certainly had still to learn about the beautiful vision in front of him.
“God, Spike!? Can’t you even open a *bottle*?” Xander whined, ripping the wine out of Spike’s hands who only growled in response.
*~*~*
He didn’t know what exactly it was that drew him to her office over and over again, but he just needed to be around her.
He wanted to learn more about this beautiful, precious woman.
It was only an hour ago that they left that restaurant for work, but it felt like a whole day to Angel. Peaking his head inside the room, Angel smiled at Buffy who was pacing a whole into her carpets, phoning some important business man in France, as he recalled.
“Bien, j'alignerai. Oui, je vous vois alors la semaine prochaine. Oui, au revoir.” Buffy said into the receiver in perfect French, nodding, earning a smooth grin from the man standing in her doorway, leaning his head against the frame.
Putting the cordless phone back on her desk she walked to her shelf, flashing him a million-dollar smile. “What’s wrong?” She asked, pulling the chair next to her desk in front of the shelf and climbing it, balancing herself with her knee leaning against the big wooden book-shelf.
“Nothing.” He smiled. “I just wanted to see you.” He mumbled, very silent, but she heard it none the less and a smirk was leading its way to her face.
Making his way over to her, he pulled a book out from the shelf, just in the height her thighs were in that moment, and sure enough: Garfield. Directly next to ‘Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus’, but there weren’t any books about architecture to be found, and he wasn’t really surprised. “You know, one would expect books about your JOB in your office.” He quipped, earning a glare from the woman on the chair right next to him, stuffing the books in her arms into the shelf.
“There ARE! Just the OTHER shelf! I’m NEAT!” Buffy said, pointing to the wall opposite from her over her shoulder. “I may be the boss’ daughter, but I’m also the best worker in here! Dad says I had him beat long ago, Angelino!” Buffy said, standing straight up on the chair so she was at least one foot taller than him, flashing him a mocking smirk.
“I know.” Was all Angel replied and lifted her from the chair by the waist, setting her down on her feet and letting his hands linger longer on her hips than actually necessary.
Looking into her eyes he could only think about how desperately he wanted to kiss her, and sure enough, his lips landed on hers only a second later.
He wanted to kiss her into oblivion, and she didn’t even pull back, but put her arms around his neck and drew him even closer to her when Angel’s hands found her waist.
And exactly that moment Dru burst into the room, her eyes widening, and Buffy and Angel immediately jumped apart.
“I, ... Um,.... Xander, he ..... You... “ Dru stammered sheepishly and Buffy only threw her an innocent grin. “Xander,.... he said you had to go..... Go to the building... in downtown... with him.... now.” Dru managed to get out and practically skipped from the room, only hearing Buffy’s childish giggles from inside the room.
*~*~*
“Those construction workers tend to work a little slow when you don’t show up once in a while.” Xander explained to Angel, who was walking right beside him onto the place the building was built.
Buffy walked a little behind them, looking up the not at all finished building warily. That was the part of her work she hated, visiting these things and having to stand on top of it on platforms that weren’t even held by walls under them, but machines and wires that replaced them for a while.
Watching Xander shout constructions and orders and critics on various orders, Buffy made her way to the horrible and dangerous looking elevator, made out of a few steel-bars and cables.
Walking into it very carefully, she nearly jumped out of her skin when Angel appeared right behind her, jumping onto the steel as if it was the safest thing in the world.
“God!?” Buffy screeched. “How can you do that?!” She yelped, panting hard.
“Sorry.” He smirked, not in the least actually being sorry for it. “Don’t worry. They wouldn’t let their boss onto it if it *wasn’t* safe.” He told her sincerely. “No need to be afraid. Most of the time, these are the most safe elevators, because here they are careful that everything’s working proper, but in the finished ones nobody checks if there’s a mistake somewhere.” He told her, trying to calm her a little bit and pushed the ‘up’ button.
“I dunno.” Buffy mumbled, staring wide-eyed down onto the retreating ground under her.
“If you’re afraid of it, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to look down. That makes you only more giddy.” Angel said and Buffy instinctively reached for his hand, swallowing hard, when the elevator reached his aim with a bob.
“I’m not really afraid of them, they just give me the wiggs.“ Buffy told him when they walked out of it, releasing his hand.
“You’re cute.” Angel commented while they strolled along the place, in the middle of various construction workers.
Buffy only looked at him, then back at the built of a wall and back at Angel.
“What? You ARE!” He told her, grinning.
Buffy only smiled at him and looked around her.
“You know, I actually want to send out a memo, or write it in the sky, or onto a plane, or on a large three-page-advertisement in the Times, that I, Angel Liery, love the lovely Buffy Summers.” He grinned at her, watching her turn away her head when she blushed.
“You wouldn’t. Face it, Angel. But in *some* things, you’re shyer than I am!” She joked, grinning back at the dark-haired man.
“You bet?” He smirked and ran to the opposite side of the place as fast as he could.
“Angel, NO!” Buffy yelped, running after him on top of a not really stabile looking construction building that hadn’t even one single wall finished, in the 7th floor.
Jumping onto a steal-platform Angel walked to the edge of it, looking down onto the street under him, spreading his arms like wings. “I, ANGELUS WILLIAM LIERY, LOVE BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS!” He shouted as loud as he could and grinned when nearly everyone around, on the street and on the building, stared at him in a flash, and then to Buffy, who stood only a few feet behind Angel.
Blushing furiously, she glared at Angel and pulled him away, pushing him into the small, red elevator that looked a little rusty. “I *hate* you!” She scowled, looking around her and finding the majority of the workers staring after them.
“No, you don’t.” Was all Angel said when the elevator bobbed to the ground with a little impact that made Buffy’s insides twist around and she found the urge to puke.
Flashing him an evil glare again she stalked out of the rusty building’s elevator and onto the street. “I CAN’T *BELIEVE* YOU DID THAT!” She yelped over her shoulder.
And Angel only shook his head, still smirking, and ran after her.
*~*~*
All that could be heard was the sound of the expensive sea-blue china vase crashing against the front of his flat-screen TV. He was furious. How could this have ever happened? He was always this careful to keep these things top secret.
Who told them? Who?
“Would you please come with us, Sir.” The police officer pleaded. She read his rights, arrested him, but he was stronger than her and a lot taller. If she’d known this happened, she’d have brought her partner. That guy scared the shit out of her. And this man was supposed to be on the right side of life? Her own line of business?
“What do they do with me?” He raged, pushing the arm-chair out of the way and stalked towards the police officer in front of him, wearing a name tag that said ‘Lorene Watson’, who backed away as many steps he took towards her.
“Yo-you’ll be forced to step in front of a judge. The law is against you, now. I’m sorry, sir. But you did the wrong thing... you---.”
“I didn’t!” Riley yelled as loud as he could. “It is my JOB to help my clients out of jail!”
“Not MURDERERS! Not RAPISTS!” Lorene answered, raising her voice for the first time before widening her eyes in fear of the murderous glance of the man in front of her. “Mr. Finn, please. You also work for the law, you should know that I’m only doing my job.”
Even if the scene may look ridiculous to others, she was fearing for her life that moment, standing in front of a man in handcuffs, unable to raise his hand, while she stood there, pointing with a gun to his heart from three feet away.
“Who was it? Who told you assholes this?!” Riley screamed, seemingly unaware to the pistol right in front of him. “Was it this slut? Little, fragile, blonde, thin? Buffy Summers?”
“I-I’m sorry, sir. I have no idea. Please sir, would you follow me. You will just make it worse with this.” The small red head pleaded with tears in her eyes, shaking.
“Oh no, not with me. The bitch will pay.” Riley said, suddenly calmer, with a smirk on his lips, walking towards the officer, straight into the gun. “don’t play me, little girl. You’d never shoot. You’re too much of a goodie.”
“Not her, but I’m sure we would.” Came a voice from the open door and about ten police men stormed into the room. “Freeze! Hands up, so I can see them! Both!”
And Lorene released a breath she didn’t know she was holding when the crazy lawyer complied. “Arrest him.” She whispered brokenly.
*~*~*
“Honey, I’m home!” Buffy yelled into the apartment, shrugging off her leather jacket. She felt so dirty she just wanted to disappear into the warm haven of her bathtub for sweet two hours. She just dreaded the unfinished buildings. Everywhere was dirt and muck and dust and dusk and slimy wet cement and just ‘ugh’. Grunting disgusted she continued the search for her little girl, finding her crouched inches in front of the TV screen, totally occupied in watching ‘The Simpsons’ to notice anything. “Deanna?” She called softly, smiling, when Deanna jerked a little, startled.
“Mom! Don’t DO that!” She yelped, turning her gaze back to the screen where Bart Simpson tried to jump with his skateboard over a cliff. Seemed to be one of the older episodes...
It was still late afternoon, so Buffy wanted to do something with her daughter for once. But Deanna didn’t want, so it seemed. “I’m sorry. Do you want to go to the movies with me later? Say, eight-ish? They're showing A Beautiful Mind.” Buffy tried.
“Can’t we watch Queen Of The Damned? I wanna see that!” Deanna whined. “Please?”
“Isn’t that one PG-13??”Buffy asked, cocking and eyebrow at her daughter. “Oh, C’mon, they don’t check that! And Christine already watched it and she says it’s really cool! C’mon, it’s Anne Rice! I read the book!” The nine-year-old begged with her puppy eyes.
“’Kay.” Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes. “We’ll see.” She said and Deanna grinned at her. ‘We’ll see’ *always* meant Enie was getting her way, but Buffy didn’t want to say it out loud! “What do you think about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?” Buffy asked.
“Yay!” Deanna exclaimed happily. “But can you bring it here? I want to watch the Simpsons! They show two eps in a row!”
“Sure.” Buffy smiled, patting her daughter on the head and leaving the room.
“How was work today?” Deanna yelled from the living room and Buffy had to smile. Sometimes Deanna was acting like a real grown adult, sometimes she was the sweetest little child in the world; naive and innocent. Her daughter was amazing.
“Horrible! Angel shouted an I-Love-Buffy-Summers like right from the rooftops! It was humiliating!” Buffy yelled back, despite the grin on her face. As embarrassing as it had been, it was still the sweetest and cutest thing a guy had ever done for her.
And in a flash, her dark-haired daughter came running into the kitchen, The Simpsons all forgotten. “What?! He told you he *loved* you?!” Enie yelped, she was thrilled beyond belief!
“He told me a while ago. But now he shouted it from the new Tramp Mall we’re working on together.” Buffy glanced at her daughter, unsure.
“Do you love him?” Deanna asked, totally straight-faced. Crouching down to her daughter’s height Buffy knelt in front of Deanna. “Honey, yesterday I realised you were so glad when Riley and I broke up, and I suddenly saw you always *pretended* to like him, for me. I want you to know that you’re the most important person in the world to me. You come before everything in my life. No guy can come before, not if Brad Pitt proposed to me I’d say yes if you wouldn’t like him. The man I like has to like you, because he’s only getting me in a double-pack with my daughter attached.” Buffy smiled, stroking Enie’s dark brown locks. “And I know I’m not often there, leaving you with my dad and Spike, and Xander and all, but I love you. I. Love. You. More than anything. And I need you to know that. If you aren’t okay with Angel, I’ll forget him. Understand?” Buffy asked seriously, gazing into her daughter’s chocolate eyes that were a perfect replica of Angel’s.
“Yes. I know. I love you too, mom!” Deanna said, smiling back. “Do you love him?”
“Yes.” Buffy beamed. “I love Angel. Very much.”
And Deanna Summers fell into her mothers arms, hugging her like her life was depending on it. “Thank you!” She exclaimed.
“For what?” Buffy asked confused.
“For giving me my daddy.” Deanna whispered, beaming.
*~*~*
They’d been watching The Queen of the Damned, so what? Deanna always got her will, that wasn’t new. She was a spoiled only-child anyway...
But that wasn’t the point here. Point was, that Deanna almost had her mother convinced to buy a motorcycle, go to Disneyworld with her and learn how to do Tai Chi.
Sitting at the edge of Deanna’s bed she gazed at her little girl, almost asleep, worn out and smiling so sweetly.
“Mom?” She whispered, suddenly her smile turned into a deep, sad frown and Buffy constantly grew worried.
“What’s wrong, honey?” Buffy asked, stroking her soft, brown locks.
“I’m scared. Spike said I shouldn’t tell you, but Riley... he---“ But Deanna stopped in mid-sentence, as if considering in the last second what she did was wrong.
“What happened?!” Buffy said more loudly, her voice booming in her own ears. What did he do to her daughter?
“He... he was here yesterday, he said things...” Deanna began, watching her mother’s silent tears all the time.
*~*~*
Walking out of the L.A. Police Department Riley smirked to himself. They hadn’t been able to hold him there. And they wouldn’t ever have the chance.
He’d lost his job through this. And she would pay.
They were so sure he’d been that? Well, maybe he was, who knows? Maybe he was the one killing this little girl. But even if he was it, they wouldn’t find out. Ever. Not if he had a say in this.
Flashing a smile towards the frightened Lorene Watson, climbing out of her police car, he left the place, eager to never return.
And about to visit an old girlfriend of his.
*~*~*
“I just have no idea what I’m to do! I mean, what if he shows up again? What am I gonna do then? I-I think he’s—he’s insane! He hurt me! And he threatened Deanna and the reasoning he gave when I caught him chea--- He just seemed so ... crazy? I’m --- I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Buffy sighed and collapsed on the couch. “I’m afraid, Angel.”
“You don’t have to.” Angel whispered, kneeling down in front of her. “I’m not gonna lie to you. He IS insane. You’re not imagining it. I know. But I’m here for you, Buffy. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to Deanna and you. Never.”
//What on earth am I meant to do
In this crowded place there is only you
Was gonna to leave now I have to stay
You have taken my breath away\\
Buffy looked up, staring into the deep chocolate of his eyes. He was so nice to her. So kind and giving, although she kept him at bay for so long. And she knew without a doubt he was telling her the truth. Angel was there for her. Always. “I know.” She whispered hoarsely, he voice dripping with emotion so thick you almost touch it.
But then again, she knew Riley. And she wasn’t sure what the almighty Mr. Finn would do to Angel if he protected her from him. Or if he found out that she loved Angel. Sighing, Buffy promised herself to keep Angel out of this.
“What?” Angel asked concerned, turning her chin upwards, so she looked directly into his eyes.
//Is the world still spinning around
I don't feel like coming down\\
“Nothing.” She breathed. She knew he deserved the truth, but she just couldn’t . It was her fault Riley was after her. She alone had to protect her daughter from that man. And here she stood in front of a man that so desperately wanted to help her... and she didn’t let him. “I love you.” She whispered instead. And god, he looked just so---
“I love you, too” He smiled slightly.
//It's in your eyes
I can tell what your thinking
My heart is sinking too
It's no surprise
I've been watching you lately
I want to make it with you\\
“Why can’t we just be together? It’s so simple. Why won’t you let me love you?” Angel whispered, threading his hands into her hair.
“I can’t.” Buffy sighed.
“Why?” Why couldn’t they just be together when she loved him, too? Why did it all have to be so very difficult? Even though it seemed to be so simple?
“Because I love you.” She stated, her eyes never leaving his, watching his confused blinking. He didn’t get that. She knew he didn’t. Knotting her fingers into the cloth of his shirt, she swallowed hard.
//Destiny has a funny way
When it comes and takes all your cares away
I can't think of a single thing
Other than what a beautiful state I'm in\\
“Every relationship I’ve been in ended so soon. And every time I’ve been the cause of that. I drive them away. I’m not made for a relationship. I’m rush-girl. But you’re the first man I ever truly loved, Angel.” She said, smiling through teary lashes. “ I want it, no, I *need* this to be forever. I just wouldn’t be able to stand loosing you. I need to be sure this is going to work before I let you into my life. I want this to be forever.”
And Angel only blinked. He didn’t know she felt so strong about him, too. And the joy he felt was indescribable. “Okay.” He only grinned and offered her his hand. “C’mon. I think we have a meeting, now.”
//Is the world still spinning around
I don't feel like coming down\\
“Yes.” She whispered, taking his hand. But as soon as she walked out of his office he released her hand, strolling towards the elevator. “Where are you going?” She called after him, but he only turned around, blowing her a kiss and left without saying a word.
//It's in your eyes
I can tell what your thinking
My heart is sinking too
It's no surprise
I've been watching you lately
I want to make it with you\\
*~*~*
To be honest, she was downright scared. By a man who was supposed to help those in need and stand for the law.
This man was insane. All that was right was beyond him, that man didn’t even SEE the line between good and bad.
She feared to meet him everywhere she went. So much that she nearly trembled.
In her job as a police officer she’d faced the biggest scum of this earth. Had interviewed rapists, arrested killers and fought against robbers. But nobody had scared her like this man had.
He was crazy. He didn’t respect anyone or anything. A sadist. A chauvinist.
And if she could judge on the look in his eyes, she was sure he’d enjoyed scaring her like that. he’d nearly gotten off on it.
How come that a guy like him was allowed to walk L.A.’s streets freely? No wonder there was so much crime in this city. What would happen if he was angry with a little boy?
What would that bastard do to a child? Were they safe in this city? Was her son safe in this city? God knows she’d die if anything happened to her little Phillip. He was only thirteen! He didn’t deserve to live in a world like this. In a society where you were allowed to do everything as long as you had the right amount of money.
But what worried her most was a fact that there was a woman out there who was in serious trouble right now. And she wasn’t sure what he’d do with her if he found her.
Would he kill her?
Walking into the great hall of L.A.’s city library she walked directly to the computers.
Lorene had to find a way to contact that Buffy Summers Riley Finn was so mad about.
She had to warn her.
*~*~*
When Buffy came back from her meeting she was surprised to find a single red rose on her door, along with a card, similar to the one she’d found on that frame not long ago. Looking back at Dru, Buffy found her grinning back at her like a lunatic.
Your couch.
Was written on the note and Buffy turned around the doorknob, entering her office and smiling. There was another rose lying on her black-leather couch, a white one, with another card.
Shelf. – it said.
And sure enough, there hang a simple, see-through, white sundress, exactly her size. And yet another white card.
Desk.
She turned around and gasped. Opening the small black silken box there was a beautiful silver ring. Claddagh, she remembered, she’d once learned about it in her history class in College. A diamond heart held by two hands with a crown floating over it. Picking up the last note she opened it carefully, smiling.
Look out your window.
And her heart nearly stopped at the sight in front of her. In front of her window, right on the building opposite to Summers & Co. hung a large sign. Just the perfect size. And she nearly couldn’t read the letters fully because her eyes were filled with tears.
Do you want to marry me, Buffy Summers?
“Do you?” Came his silken voice from behind her. She turned around and faced him, melting with the shadows in her dark office.
She was speechless, for the very first time in her life, and he had to smile. Gripping the small box that contained what she now knew was her engagement ring for dear life, she gazed into his eyes. “You... you don’t need to---“ She coaxed hoarsely.
“I want to. I love you, Buffy. I want this to be forever, too.” He whispered, walking ever so slowly towards her and stopping in front of her when there was not more than an inch space between them.
“I... I don’t know what to say.” Buffy breathed, staring at the heart held by the hands on her ring. The heart that stood for love.
“How about ‘yes’?” He said, lifting her chin with just the tip of his finger, gazing into her hazel-eyes so intimately. As if he could see right through her, see her darkest fears and sweetest desires.
And with a sob the tears fell, and she threw herself into his arms. Digging her fingers into his leather coat.
“IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou,” She chanted mindlessly.
“That a yes?” Angel smirked against her soft hair.
“Yes!” She whispered back.
*~*~*
Buffy left the building of Summers & Co. with a goofy grin on her face, smiling like an idiot. She hadn’t believed she could ever feel like this again. She hadn’t believed she could feel like this at all. She felt as if she could hug the whole world. Kiss it's breath away big time. Kiss Angel’s breath away.
Strolling to her car with a slight skip in her way she fumbled to find her keys in her purse.
But the small bag was wrenched away from her, thrown aside and she was pushed against the wall nearby.
“Hello Buffy.” Riley growled against her throat, licking his way up to her chin and Buffy began to quiver, trying to push him away.
“Oh no, lover. You won’t do this to me.” Riley snapped and pushed her even harder against the wall of that alley, where nobody could see her, pushing his erection hard into her stomach.
“Leave me alone, Riley.” Buffy cried panicking. “Please, you won’t do this. You can’t. Please, let me go!”
“Shut up!” He roared, slapping her with her own keys, leaving a big bloody wound on her cheek in it’s wake, causing her to whimper in pain and fear.
And he tore her shirt open, ripping the fabric of her bra from her body and latched onto her breast when Buffy pushed him away with all her strength, running away and screaming for help.
But Riley caught up with her before she could reach the end of the alley, pushing her to the ground and holding her down with his own body crouched over her, his breath trickling the skin of her neck and his hand clamped tightly over her mouth. Her bare breasts pressed tightly to the ground, being cut by the glass and dirt on it. Sobbing, she felt the urge to gag.
“Oh no, lover. Try and I’ll kill you.” He whispered, making her cry harder.
“Angel will kill you.” Buffy promised him, hiccuping, her mouth muffled by his hand
“Not if I kill him before.” Riley smirked, stroking the column of her neck with his index finger, but Buffy jerked away. “Well, sorry you don’t want to. Sex under ex’s is said to be the best.” he said and got up from her, pulling her roughly to her feet.
“I will get you.” He glared at her and ran away, leaving a sobbing blonde-haired girl in the alley.
And Buffy climbed into her car, tears running down her cheeks, trying to knot the torn shirt together.
*~*~*
“I need help, Lindsey. What the hell am I gonna do?” Buffy whimpered, sitting in front of her friend, in her ex-fiance’s office building, Wolfram & Hart. Looking around frantically every second minute.
“Foremost, try to calm down Buffy.” Lindsey advised, handing her a steaming mug of coffee in the break room.
“Please, Lin, is there a way I can hold Riley away from Deanna and me by law? He’s scaring her. He’s scaring me. He tried to rape me! He threatened to KILL me! Hell, he almost did!? He said he’d kill Angel.” Buffy exclaimed, panicking, but then quietening again, because of the various stares she received from the lawyers in the room.
“You okay?” The blonde-haired man asked her concerned. “I’m five by five.” Buffy shrugged, and froze. She spent way too much time with Faith... “But it’s Enie I’m worried about. Riley thinks it’s because of her I’m back together with Angel. He gives her the fault that I didn’t love him. And she knows. Yesterday when I came back with that *scratch*, she knew.”
“Good” Lindsey breathed out a sigh of relief. Just because he wasn’t with her anymore didn’t mean he stopped caring about her. He still loved her, just... well.
Buffy looked around again when she felt a shiver run down her spine, but there was nobody.
Noticing her discomfort, Lindsey dragged her into his office, closing the door behind him. “Don’t worry, Buff. He won’t be here.”
“What?” Buffy replied, confused.
“Riley. He’s not here. He got suspended after the senior partners found out about that girl. They try to keep him in quarantine, but they have nothing against him, beside the old lady who saw it. But, well, she’s a little nuts and you can’t count on her.” Lindsey explained.
“What?” Buffy asked, even more confused than before. What was going on?!
“I thought you knew!” Lindsey replied, doing a double-take.
“I knew what?” Buffy asked, growing more giddy by the second.
“Riley. He killed a girl!” Lindsey told her softly.
And Buffy only stared at him in shock.
*~*~*
Angel carefully opened the door to Buffy’s apartment with his very new own key, smiling to himself he strolled through the lit hall, listening the soft tunes of the piano. He didn’t know Deanna could do that. But she had quite some talent there. She played the instrument gently, almost melancholic, and poured all the emotion she’d got inside of her, in the small song. Which Angel assumed wasn’t one of the easy ones. She played the piano like an angel would it’s harp.
They’d agreed that he was to tell Deanna about their engagement. And honestly, he was downright panicking. This had got to be the most difficult challenge in his very life.
“You play fantastic, Deanna.” Angel said softly, startling her. And Deanna stopped, turning around to face her daddy in mock-shock. “Hey! Don’t stalk up on people like that! Mom does that, too!” She said, pouting. “Thank you.” The nine-year old blushed a soft pink.
“Wanna come to the cinema with me? I know you went with Buffy yesterday, but...” Angel started, suddenly unsure about his plans for the day with his daughter. HIS DAUGHTER!
“I’d love to!” Deanna beamed, running into her room and grabbing her fluffy pink coat, leaving Angel all alone in the living-room, in front of the black, shiny grand-piano.
Shrugging, chuckling, he walked to the door, holding in open for the small-sized, brown-haired girl. “Kate & Leopold?” He suggested, when Deanna hopped her way out of the apartment.
“Woah, nah. Love Story, eew. You can go watch that one with mom. No, thank you. No offense. Can’t we watch Blade 2?” Deanna crunched up her nose, making herself look like a small, cute three-year old.
“Aren’t you a little young for that one?” He asked her, quirking one eyebrow up.
“I go to bleedin’ JUNIOR HIGH! I’m not a child!! Why don’t people see that???” Deanna protested, face red and foot stomped down on the ground.
“Could lie on the fact that you’re half my size....” Angel smirked down at her, making sure she had to look way up to look into his eyes.
“Funny.” The 4’4” tall girl growled, stepping up onto her tippy-toes.
Laughing, Angel pushed the elevator button. But the smile soon left his face and he grew serious again. “Um, Enie, what--- what would you think.... if I’d... proposed to your mother?” Angel stammered, looking everywhere but at the girl with the chocolate eyes. Did his eyes look like that, too? He suddenly wondered.
And Deanna’s head snapped around, looking him hard in the eyes for several seconds and Angel already began to fear the worst when her lips melted into a large grin, throwing herself into his arms, just when the elevator arrived, it’s doors opening with a ringing sound. Shrieking with joy, the little girl nearly knocked the air out of Angel’s lungs. Picking her up, he carried his daughter into the elevator, pushed the button and set her down again.
“You’re not mad?” He asked her, crouching down to her height.
“How could I?” Enie beamed, hugging him again. “I’m bloody THRILLED!” She exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, happily. “You’re gonna marry!!!”
Angel only smiled, taking her by the hand and leading her out of the elevator, and out of the building, strolling towards his black convertible.
“And when you’re married, Riley won’t ever hurt mom again.” Deanna said, grinning like a madman.
“Riley hurt her? Again?” Angel whirled around and his car-keys dropped to the floor, forgotten.
“He- he was there. Yesterday, he—he was vey mean and slapped mommy. She, she cried.” Deanna said, confused. They were engaged, why didn’t he knew?
Swallowing hard, he opened the picked up his keys and opened the door for Deanna who climbed in immediately. Why didn’t she trust him? Why did Buffy think she had to keep this a secret from him?
“Everything okay?” Enie asked, concerened, and Angel snapped out of it.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Angel said, climbing in behind the steering wheel, starting the engine. “Everything’s alright.”
*~*~*
“Did you report him to the police?” Tara asked her softly, sitting next to Willow, opposite to the shaken blonde.
“No.” Buffy replied qietly.
“Why not?!” Willow shrieked, then calmed in Buffy’s favour. “Buffy, what he did to you--.”
“He’s suspected for murder... if I, if I do report him, they’ll arrest him. And I... I *can’t* believe he did it!” Buffy said, inspecting Willow and Tara’s horrified faces. “He, he may hhave something strange going on in his head regarding me, but I left him! I don’t think he would do something to an innocent. No.”
“Buffy, of course he would. That’s Riley! ‘sides, you ARE an innocent, too!” Willow jumped in, nearly spilling her _mocha over the whole table.
“No.” Buffy whimpered, shaking her head fiercely. “Riley was always nice and kind to me. Only these last two weeks of our relationship, he...”
“He never was nice and kind!!” Willow exclaimed, “He was an asshole, all the time! He held you back from your friends, remember?!”
“We had something like this in Psych once, remember?” Tara said gently, looking Buffy straight in the eye. “Denial. You had your first time with a guy cheating on his fiance, then there was Scott, who only used you to get another girl, then Parker, who used you for sex, Spike, who in the end never loved you like that, Tyler, who wanted to send Deanna to Nebraska.... You just needed yourself to belive that Riley was different. It’s only natural.” She said, watching the tears gather in Buffy’s eyes.
“So, you say all men are pigs?” Buffy grumbled.
“No, I say most are. Some are angels.” Tara said, smiling slightly and Buffy couldn’t surpress a grin.
“Speaking of.” Willow chimed in. “I need to meet your new flame! Preferably BEFORE the wedding bells ring!”
“He isn’t like Riley, Willow. He’s the totally opposite.” Buffy told her best friend.
“Did you tell him?” Tara asked and Buffy’s smile fell.
“No.”
“Why not?” Tara’s brow furrowed.
“He’ll be disgusted and....”
“No! Buffy, NO!” Willow exclaimed. “He won’t, I promise you! You will go see him right after he returns with Deanna. No, better you go to his place now and wait!” Willow ordered.
“I--- Deanna....” Buffy began, struggling to find an excuse.
“I can take care of my little charge! I’m her godmother, after all!” Willow smiled.
“Thank you.” Buffy smiled and got up to leave the mall’s small ice-cafe.
*~*~*
What could have possibly happened to her that she was too afraid to tell him? Why didn’t she trust him enough to tell him?
Walking through the big lobby of his apartment building, Angel shoved his hands deep into his pockets.
He’d thought he’d finely made it. That he had everything now. A good job, a perfect life and the love of his very existence. But her trust he hadn’t.
He wanted to hit something. Hard.
How could he have ever been so blind to think he really had a chance with this woman? He couldn’t help but miss her, right now, he just wanted to hold her, comfort her. Help her with all the things troubling her mind.
She didn’t deserve all these troubles. Down right, she was just a girl. Not so different from all the other women walking the earth.
But to him, she was special, regardless. One in a million.
Just like the cliche. He still could remember the time he’d laughed about things like destiny or bad luck. But now, someone had carried all this so close to him.
And when the elevator stopped, and he walked out to his floor, he wasn’t so angry anymore. He just wanted to know. To help. And when he looked up, there she sat. Next to his door, crouched into a tight little ball, her head resting on her knees, looking so very lost and frightened.
And when he stopped directly in front of her, red, swollen eyes met his, and he felt her tears burn his insides out.
Extending one hand towards her she took it and he opened the door, leading her into his apartment, suddenly very aware that he hadn’t found the time to tidy up properly.
So he simply drew her into his bedroom and lay her down gently, slipping her shoes off her feet and drawing the covers over her shoulder.
Just when he was about to leave she whimpered a little and he turned around again to check on her.
“Stay with me?” She whispered, so very soft and quiet.
And Angel just smiled at her, took off his own boots and climbed under the sheets. And Buffy instantly snuggled closer to him, resting her head heavily onto his chest, hugging him as close to her as possible without breaking any bones inside of him.
And she fell asleep, the frown leaving her features.
Angel never said one word, just watched her sleep so peacefully in his arms.
*~*~*
Grumbling, cursing, growling, Angel reached for the ringing phone at 2.30 in the morning. “What?!” He bellowed into the receiver, and cursed under his breath, ‘cuz he’d probably woken Buffy with that action.
But sure enough, the cute blonde only stirred a bit and pulled herself deeper into his embrace. Which plastered a smile to his face and he suddenly wasn’t that angry with the still-unknown person on the phone. “It’s Lindsey McDonald, I’m---“
“One of Buffy’s ex’s, I know you.” Angel threw in, and Lindsey was surprised that the tall man whose eyes were firmly drawn to a certain Buffy Summers all that day, had actually had the time to remember him. “Um, yes, I’m calling you, and at a very uncommon time, I’m sorry, but..... Oh, fuck the pleasantries, I called you because Buffy’s in serious trouble. With her mind at most and she’s too much of a holy to tell you,” Lindsey nearly shouted, and Angel could almost imagine the man having sat in his office till now, pondering his phone call and pacing a hole into his carpets.
“What happened?” Angel asked concerned. “Did Riley do anything else?”
“You know? Did she tell you?” Lindsey asked, now more than confused. “No. Deanna saw something, but she didn’t know the background story either.”
“Well, Riley...” The lawyer began, but all that followed was silence, and Buffy mumbling in her sleep.
“WHAT the FUCK did he do?” Angel exclaimed, and Buffy stirred another time. Thank the gods in the heavens that that girl sleeps so tight.
“He attempted rape.” Lindsey said quietly, calmly.
And Angel said nothing, he just said down onto the bed with a look on his face made out of utter shock and looked at the love of his life. Lifting her hand he turned it and stroked a sore, black and blue spot on her wrist. Why hadn’t he noticed it before? And looking closer, she was black and blue all over.
“Bye.” He mumbled into the phone, not waiting for Lindsay’s reply, just hung up.
He’d kill that bastard for doing this to her.
Standing up determined, Angel began to dress and left his apartment for a places not so unknown.
*~*~*
“YEAH!” Riley yelled hurriedly pulling on a pair of sweat pants and cursing loudly. What moron pounded on a door as loud as an earthquake at 3o’clock in the morning anyway?
“Damnit, I HEARD!” Riley shouted when he crashed the door open, only to get one hell of a fist pounded into that lovely nose of his. “What the---“
But Angel only shoved Riley back into the apartment and kicked the door shut, nearly breaking it. Riley couldn’t even say one word until he was crashed into the wall, panting heavily. “I’ll get you back for this!” Riley screamed and kicked Angel in the groin.
Angel stumbled back, flinching, groaning, but only smirked at Riley Finn. “That’s everything you can do, *rapist*?” He growled and charged at the blonde man again.
“Well, maybe my little bitch of an ex-wife didn’t tell you, but I DIDN’T go through with it!” Riley defended himself, avoiding a kick in the lack by the dark-heard guy.
“Ex-FIANCE!” Angel snapped. “And that DOESN’T excuse ANYTHING!” Angel scowled, pinning Riley against the wall behind him and looking him straight in the eye, so hard that Riley had to blink several times. “You touch MY mate EVER again, and I’ll kill you. I’ll rip every single finger off you, pool with them in your insides before I rip out your lungs and feed ‘em to your dog, understand?” Angel growled darkly, his eyes having grown a deep deep black, filled with anger.
“Your *mate*?” Riley spat, choking, because the hand gripping his throat tightened constantly. “What you fucked her too, didn’t you? She’s one hell of a screw, isn’t she?”
And Angel kicked him into the wall, breaking the frame behind Riley back, the glass cutting through his skin. Riley nearly began to cry, it hurt so much.
“Do you feel this bastard? This kind of fear? Not knowing what’s to happen now?” Angel breathed, calmly, sarcastically. Evilly. “Can you even imagine what you put her through? What you did to her? You scumbag, you broke her! Scared her beyond everything else in her life, so deep it reached her very soul. You took her innocence away.”
And Riley only coughed, tears gathering in his eyes, while the blood of his back slowly flowed down the insides of his knees. “Took her innocence away? I think... ahh.... you took care of that 10 years ago...” And he cried out in pain when Angel threw him against the opposite wall, and Riley fell to his knees on the floor, sobbing.
“If it wasn’t for her well-being, you’d be dead by now. But know, I’m not gonna lower myself to your level.” Angel growled darkly and turned to the opposite direction when he heard a high-pitched scream beside him.
A girl, maybe sixteen, blonde, naked, only covered in a transparent white sheet. Looking horrified onto the scene in front of her.
And Angel only snorted. “So, you didn’t get to fuck my girlfriend, so you went off and got a teeny to suck you?” Angel snorted, directing his gaze back to Riley, who struggled to not to fall unconscious. “You’re a wanker, Riley Finn.” With that turned to go, but noticed a glistening gold chain, with blood on it, with a clover, in a silver heart. Clearly belonging to a girl. Not thinking clearly, he took it with him.
He never looked back.
*~*~*
Lorene Watson strolled carelessly through the Police Department. Since the incident with Riley Finn she was retired from the outdoor strives and shoved behind the desk for the next month. And honestly, she was quite happy about that. She was still a bit shaken.
It was way past midnight. In fact, the sun would be rising soon, and she still wasn’t finished. Groaning, she sipped from her coffee, placing it back onto her desk.
Looking up from the paper-work, she saw the hottest, cutest and most handsome man walking in that she ever saw in her life. Swallowing hard, she got up from her chair. “Is there anything I can do for you?” She asked politely.
But Angel only dropped the chain onto the counter, and breathed out. “I heard this Department is working on the Finn-Case?” He said hoarsely, bone tired.
“Yes,” Lorene answered confused.
“Then you might need this.” He said and walked over to the chairs opposite off him, and Lorene Watson’s eyes widened, and she skipped off into the other direction, calling for her boss and one of the officers, who quickly sat down behind a computer.
In the inside of the pedal were written the words: For my beloved Lisa Emmanuel. Yours Eternally, Rick.
Lisa was the one Riley had killed.
That chain was able to get Riley Finn under arrest.
*~*~*
Angel sat down on his side of the bed, turning, and stroke the soft skin of Buffy’s cheek, and the small blonde stirred softly, snoozing.
Angel only chuckled and kissed his love’s forehead. Smiling against her skin. It was amazing how cute that woman looked when she slept. Like an angel, a small innocent girl, with blonde hair framing her face like a halo, her face twisted into a soft smile, her hands resting near her head.
“I want a Spring-wedding!” Angel whispered into her hair, playfully, inhaling the sweet vanilla smell of her blonde locks.
“Me too!” Buffy whispered back, opening her eyes. “So you have enough time moving in with us!”
“Since when are you awake?” Angel breathed, so quiet Buffy was barely able to make out the words at all. “Since you came back.” She said truthfully and smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He asked, stroking her hair with just the tips of his fingers.
“You didn’t ask any further. You trusted me.” Buffy said, serious, referring to the night before when she sat crying in front of his door. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you. I talked to Will and Tara. They said I was to tell you. Riley, he---“
“I know.” Angel stopped her, and smiled at her confused, shocked look.
“Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be alright. They arrested him. Riley’s gonna be in jail for the next fifteen years.” Angel told her. “It’s a long story.” He added to her questioning look and Buffy simply nodded.
“You can tell me later.” She said, and lifted herself up from the bed. Kissing him good-morning. “Are you disgusted now?” She asked, unsure.
“WHAT?!” Angel yelped.
“I mean, Riley--- he...” Buffy stammered.
“Buffy, NO! It wasn’t your fault!” Angel looked her in the eye, holding her face with the palms of his hands, close to his. “Don’t even think that. I love you. Forever.”
“I love you, too.” Buffy sobbed softly. “Forever.” And climbed out from under the sheets, sitting next to him and enclosing his hand with her’s.
“So, back to the wedding?” Angel smirked, nudging her in the side and kissing the back of her hand, holding it close to his lips. “A big loomy church with white birds and a giant white limo?”
“And Faith will be bridesmaid, as well as Will and Tara – I want three of them instead of two. Doyle could be your best man, Deanna, of course, the cute little kid with the flowers. And my father’s gonna freak out if he finds out he’ll be giving his daughter away in Spring. Well, that is, if he didn’t already notice that sign in front of the building in front of his firm building...” Buffy chirped brightly, climbing into Angel’s lap and kissing his temple softly.
And Angel only grinned up and his soon-to-be wife.
“Deanna will be thrilled!” Buffy remarked, leaning her head in the crook of his neck and closing her eyes. Instantly falling asleep again.
With Angel, everything seemed as easy as that.
~*fin*~
