Anya

She felt it. It had been awhile since she had felt that particular pain. She smiled, D'hoffryn will be proud of her. The feeling of loneliness and pain were increasing and her smile widened and she transported herself to find the woman she could help.

She gasped in shock when she found herself in the Slayer's bedroom. She just stared at Buffy. The blonde was lying there with blood dripping down her arms and tears falling from her face. She was still alive Anya could feel her. She was still feeling pain. She heard the Slayer's breath hitch slightly. She was hanging on by a strand. By the looks of the knife on the floor and the cuts, she realized Buffy had done this to herself.

Her first instinct was to grab the phone and call for help, but her feet wouldn’t move. She wasn’t suppose to stop matters of death. She frowned and took a step back. No, she wouldn’t call. She would let nature take it's course. It wasn’t her problem. None of this had ever been her problem. This stupid family had made it her problem when she fell in love with Xander. Didn’t they see what they did to Buffy by bringing her back?

She laughed out loud, Of course they did. The Witch knew Buffy wasn’t in Hell. There was a body and Slayers don’t go to Hell. They are part Angels. Another reason she had hated Buffy. The demon in her hated anything good and when it was taken from her she still couldn’t help the reaction she would get by being around the other woman. She never told anyone about what she felt.

Her thoughts flittered to Xander. She had come close to doing this same thing when he left her at the alter. Her life had fallen through, but her real friends had come through for her in the end. D'hoffryn took her back. Her true father had taken to look after her. Where was Giles for Buffy? He left her so she could grow up. So he could pretend that she was fine. They were all children, all immature. They let this happen and so it shall be.

Buffy was hurting, she could feel it.

She swallowed a grin when she looked at Buffy. Xander was going to lose his precious Buffy again. It's what he deserved, after he left her. They could have been so happy together. She could be pregnant by now getting ready for the pain of her life to have his child, but no. He wanted to believe someone else. He never loved her.

This is what you get, her mind whispered.

He always turned to Buffy for help. He hadn’t even talked to her for the three months that Buffy had been dead, almost as if she wasn’t his girlfriend. He would come home and we would have the best sex ever and it was all because he was grieving. Maybe, just maybe, he would need her when Buffy died again.

She reached down and pulled her engagement ring from her chain she carried around her neck. She just couldn’t give it back to Xander and he never asked for it back. She carried it around her neck as a symbol of what was and what is. She had become a demon again because of him. She had planned to give it all up for babies and Xander. If he had asked, she would have even gotten a pet bunny.

She felt the tears fall while she stared at Buffy

Forever was forever, right?

She gripped the ring, she was so tempted to put it back on but there was no Xander anymore. Even if Buffy died, he wouldn’t come back to her. She knew that in her heart. He left her. He left over something stupid. He knew who she was before…he knew she had done terrible things…

He didn’t love her, he loved this blonde here. He wouldn’t be able to deny it, she thought. He never did. It was something they never brought up but it had always been, 'Buffy this, and Buffy that'.

She stared down at the Slayer and sneered.

“When one dies, another is called,” She whispered.

Something the others didn’t realize. There was another Slayer, that Faith chick. They just didn’t get it. Buffy wasn’t suppose to live long. There was no marriages for her, no babies for her. Anya cocked her head and stared at the blonde. Did she dream of those? Was that why she had done this? Anya knew the Slayer was in pain and it had to do with a man. That was why she was here. She sighed and shook her head.

She walked over to the bed and laid a hand on Buffy and smeared some of the blood on her hands and stared at it. For once she was glad she had never done this over Xander. What would make Buffy do this? Did it matter?

Everything that had ever happened here was a mistake.

She didn’t even bother with the clasp of her necklace but instead just broke the chain with little force. She stared at her beautiful ring. It was suppose to mean forever, but it was all lies.

It hurt.

The tears were falling harder.

Forever was forever, right?

She reached down and placed it beside Buffy. She made her decision just like Buffy had and with one last look, she dried her tears.

“Die in peace,” she whispered.

Baby it hurts…

She transported herself out of Buffy’s life.

It hurts.

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