Sinful Temptation

Rating R for language at the moment it will however change to NC-17 hopefully!

Couples Buffy with several different loves..... or lovers.. depending on how you look at it

Spoilers Season 6 and season 3 but turned into an AU fic

Authors Notes, Let me know what you think. This is my first story that has Lex in it. Victoria knows how to get me to write! The picture is located at www.jennsfanfic.com/sinfultemp I am trying to write Lex and if anyone sees anything wrong let me know. Also this is not a fluff story...... why would it be I don’t write them...... I want to thank my betas for going over my babble! Also just to make it clear I know Buffy was born in 1980 but hey she was in her mommy in 1980........

Part 1

1980

I looked around the huge office and fidgeted with my tie. I pulled a handkerchief out of my pocket and wiped my brow. I had never been so nervous before. I needed this job; I was going to move up in the world. I was a wonderful lawyer, I could lie with ease to a client’s face, but there was more that I wanted. Which brought me here today for this job interview. I stuffed the handkerchief in my pocket when I heard the door start to open behind me.

"Ahh hello Mr. Summers," a very elegant man said behind me. I almost smirked at the Italian suit. Oh yes, this is where I wanted to be.

"Its nice to meet you Mr. Luthor," I said reaching out to shake the man’s hand. I was extremely grateful that my hands weren’t clammy. I watched as the man sat down behind the expensive mahogany desk and stared at me for a few seconds before reaching down in one of the drawers and pulling out a fat folder. I squinted to see my name on it. Why would he have a fat folder on me? I only remember sending my resume.

Mr. Luthor opened the folder and flipped through it. I could barely make out what he was looking for.

"You have a wife, don’t you?" He asked.

"I… umm, yes sir I do," I stuttered.

"She's pregnant with a girl," he stated.

I just blinked at him. How did he know? We just found out two days ago. I was just about to ask when I saw his smirk. It was a creepy sort of smirk that sent shivers down my spine.

"Listen Hank, you’re not exactly what we are looking for but if you want this job you are going to have to give us something, well actually, me," he said, not looking at me.

"I am a hard worker. I know the law inside and out and I will do whatever you need me to do, just give me this chance," I begged. I couldn’t believe I was begging. Its not like we needed the money but I wanted to work for this law firm, it was the best in LA.

He looked up at me and asked," Anything?"

I gulped and nodded.

"Then Hank, I think there might be a place for you here. I just need you to sign these papers," he said pushing a piece of paper across the desk.

I reached down and was startled that the top of the paper said prenuptial agreement.

"I think this is the wrong form," I said pushing it back to him.

"I don’t want your daughter taking my son for everything he has if they ever decide to split up," he said standing up and walking over to the window.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused, I was getting a little annoyed.

"Your daughter and my son Alexander will be married as soon as you sign that prenuptial," he said.

I started to laugh, he couldn’t be serious, but he turned to face me and I realized that he was dead serious.

"She's not even born yet," I stuttered.

"Doesn’t matter," he said.

"I… I don’t think so," I whispered. She wasn’t even born yet!

"Then I'm sorry, there is no place for you here," he said getting up and walking over to the door.

I heard it open and yelled, "Wait."

"God help me," I whispered as I signed my daughter's life away to Lionel Luther, just so I could get this job. When the papers were all signed he reached over and shook my hand again and said," Be prepared for a change Hank. When you work for Wolfram and Hart you never know where you will go or who you will meet, or maybe I should say what."

I just stared at him and started to sweat again.

"It’s a life changing experience. I will be in Metropolis where I will be raising my son to run Luthorcorp. You will stay here and only here," He said with a smirk.

I just slowly nodded," What about my daughter?" I asked.

He shrugged and said," See you in a few years," And he walked out the door.

That was the last time I saw Lionel Luthor in person.

Part 2

"Oh, now that must be nice to ride around in but nooo, I have to take the damn bus since my Jeep is in the shop," Cordelia muttered walking past the Limo that was parked on the side of the road.

She walked up to the door of the Hyperion and threw it open," Hello everyone," she announced and walked directly over to Connor's basinet. Not a single person said hello or good morning. She picked the baby up and whispered, "Well cutie looks like it’s Monday after all." The baby cooed and swung his fist around into his mouth and started sucking, but his gaze never left her face.

"He likes you," I whispered behind her. Gunn started laughing when she became startled and I had to dive to catch my son.

"Damn you Angel, could you not do that! I swear you need a bell or something," she screeched angrily.

"Cordy do you realize that you just DROPPED my son?" I asked.

"Obviously you could handle it, you being super vamp dad, besides you would never let anything bad happen to him," she whispered into my ear. She looked back at me and winked and grinned.

I grinned back; the last few weeks we had progressed in our relationship. We had gone from being friends to dating quickly. I was actually dating - it had been a long time since I had been on a date. I shook my head, placed my son on my shoulders and watched as she walked away swinging her hips. I patted my son on the back absently and watched as she talked to Fred about the expensive Limo outside and how nice it would have been if someone had picked her up. I just chuckled as I walked towards Wesley's office. Sometimes it's hard to think that it’s Wesley's office since I used to own the place but as I felt the strong beat of my sons heart I realized that sleeping with Darla was worth it, even if it meant not being the boss anymore.

Before I could reach the office I heard the doors open and turned to see a young man come in dressed in what looked like Italian silk. The gentleman looked like he was loaded and that made me grin. Lately I had been doing jobs for money, well ok more money than I usually ask for, but hell I have baby formula to buy and a college fund to build. I stood in the shadows and watched Cordelia almost run over to the gentleman and ask how she could help him.

As I watched the young man I realized that he looked familiar and I also got a sense of dread. He looked Cordelia over with a cold distain, which made Cordelia wince. I had a deep urge to hit the man and get him out of my hotel. He looked straight at me and said," I'm looking for Angel."

With the dread building I stepped closer. He offered his hand but I didn’t take it. I was getting bad vibes off this guy. Instead I just stared at him, he stared back at me and I watched as his smirk became larger until it was a full grin.

"Um Angel, you’re staring," Cordelia whispered.

I jerked my gaze to her and felt embarrassed and reached up to touch Conner. Just to make sure he was safe and still there.

"I've only seen you in pictures," the man stated.

We all jerked to attention then and Gunn went into a fighting stance.

"Who are you?" Wesley demanded standing behind me.

The young mans grin became a smirk again and he walked over to the counter and leaned against it like he had no cares in the world. "I'm here to hire you. You are investigators aren't you?" He asked quietly but his whole demeanor demanded attention.

"The question was, who the hell are you?" Gunn asked.

"Yes well, I didn’t feel like answering it but if you insist, my name is Lex Luthor," he stated.

"Oh My God, Luthor as in Luthorcorp, billions and billions of dollars, that Luthorcorp?" Cordelia screeched.

He just stared at me and at Conner. I stepped back and held Conner tighter. No wonder he looked familiar, I had seen in him on the news once or twice.

"I need to hire you," he stated.

I just didn’t like the look in his eyes and I said," Look, we are too busy at the moment to take any new cases. You might want to find another P.I." I ignored the looks around me. I knew they were thinking about the money but I just did not want this guy around.

Lex pushed off counter and came closer. "You’re the only P.I. I want to hire, besides you specialize in special cases," he said, empathizing on the special.

"How did you know?" asked a small voice. I turned and gave Fred a look as to say shut up.

"Like I said I have pictures. I have been watching you all, especially Angel," he stated and walked to the other side of the room where the window was. In a flash he had the blinds up and the sunlight came into the room, the rays landing right at my feet making me have to jump out of the way.

"Hey that wasn’t nice," Cordelia said stalking over to where Lex was and pulling down the blinds.

"I never said I was nice," Lex whispered to her. I was dismayed to see her shiver at his words.

"And they say boogie monsters don't exist," Lex stated staring at me.

"Oh that’s not true. There are all kinds of boogie monsters. You should see the books we have on them. There are kinds that like to snatch kids in their clos...," She stopped talking when she noticed we were all staring at her.

"Its ok Winifred, in the past few months I have learnt enough," Lex said giving her a smile. It was the first one I had seen on the man since he walked in that didn’t leave me wanting to rip his arms off. He turned to face me and his eyes showed some pain, but his body language suggest otherwise.

Wesley must have seen the pain as well and held out his hand. This time Lex took it. "Mr. Luthor it’s a pleasure to meet you, how can we help you?" Wes asked.

"Like I said before I need Angel's help on this one. I think he can find her," Lex stated.

"Sorry I don’t work alone," I said.

"Even for seventy thousand? I think that should cover everything. Thirty five up front and the rest when you find her," he said.

"Angel will be more than happy to help you," Cordelia jumped in and told him. At the same time she threw her hands behind her and gave me two thumbs up.

I sighed and walked across the room and placed Conner in his basinet but didn’t leave his side. Seventy thousand dollars would be nice. Everyone would be able to get paid and I would have enough for that college fund. I looked around and saw that everyone had the same _expression of excitement and awe.

"Alright, how can I help you?" I asked sighing.

Lex walked up towards me and reached into this pocket. In the corner of my eye I saw my friends stiffen and go into battle stance. Lex pulled out a fat envelope and handed it to me.

"I need you to find a missing person," he stated.

I nodded and took the envelope and started opening it.

"Who are we looking for?" I asked.

"My wife," He said wearily. This surprised me, he wasn’t wearing a wedding band and he didn’t strike me as the type of guy that would get married.

"Oh, I'm so sorry what happened to her?" Fred asked coming up beside Lex.

"Is there anything I can get you? Tea? Coffee?" Cordelia asked. I was annoyed by the way she was still looking at him.

"No, no thank you, she disappeared about three months ago. I have had other P.I.'s looking for her but they’ve found nothing and her friends¦. Well her friends say she just left and they moved into her house and her sister wont talk to anyone," se said smoothly.

I snorted; I don’t think coffee is what he wanted at this moment. Maybe his wife ran off with the gardener and or the pool boy.

I looked back down at the envelope, I was getting strange vibes from it and I just wanted to get this case over with. I pulled out the first piece of paper. It was folded up and I put it on the couch as I reached into the envelope and found a few more papers. Well at least the guy is proficient at keeping paperwork. The papers were yellowish in color, they were definitely older and smelled musty. I sat the rest of the papers on the couch with the first and reached in and pulled out a small picture. I flipped it over and just stared, I felt like a steam train had hit me in the stomach.

"I'm sorry, we can’t help you," I croaked and grabbed Conner and headed for the stairs, I still had the picture in my hand. I felt an arm grab me and I twirled to see Lex staring at me. His grip was strong.

"You have to help me, I have to find her," he whispered.

"Go away and take your money with you. I don’t know what you think you are doing, but she is not married," I stated with a growl. I could feel the demon in me whispering to rip his head off. I was becoming more tempted by the minute. I shook his hand off and started up the stairs.

Lex snorted, " I was right in thinking I should come here. I know you can find her."

That made me turn around and look at him. Just how much did he know? However, before I could ask Cordelia screeched," Buffy's married to you?"

I looked up to see her holding the marriage certificate, her hands were shaking slightly and she looked up and caught my eye. I saw anger and bewilderment there.

"This looks real," Wesley said.

"How," I croaked.

"We were married a long time ago, before she met you. Actually I don’t remember the ceremony. I just remember seeing her about his size," Lex stated pointing to Connor.

"If I hadn't been keeping tabs on her, I would have thought that was her child, " Lex murmured walking back over to the couch. I closed my eyes, he had just said what I had been thinking ever since I saw Darla huge and round. I heard Cordelia snort.

"Dear God, she was married two days after her birth," Wesley said.

"What?" I shouted.

"That's inhuman, no wonder Buffy was the way she was!" Cordelia declared.

"What do you mean was? I lost track of her a few months ago and now I can't find her, were is she?" Lex growled.

"Excuse us," Cordelia practically shouted and gave Lex a dazzling smile. She grabbed Wesley's arms and dragged him over to me and gave Gunn and Fred a look that said don’t say a damn word.

"Don’t you think the man deserves to know his wife is um... well you know, D.E.A.D," she whispered.

"I agree we have to tell him and Cordelia, please don’t spell things out, it really is annoying," Wesley whispered as low as he could.

I just stared at Lex ignoring their babble. He had her first, it didn’t matter that she came to me as a virgin, and I know she was a virgin, but he had her first. I thrust Connor in Wesley's arms because my anger was starting to get the best of me. Why didn’t she say anything? She never told me.

"All that money," Cordelia moaned.

"I will find her for you," I growled and marched up stairs. As I turned the corner I saw Lex staring at me with what seemed like a challenge in his eyes. He just nodded.

"Did he just say what I thought he said," Cordelia whispered to Wes.

Wesley just nodded and whispered," Oh Dear God," one more time.

We turned to see Lex heading for the door, "I will be back tonight around five before sunset, I assume he can't leave till then. I'm going with you," Lex stated. We watched as he walked out the door.

"Going where?" Fred asked slightly bewildered.

"Sunnydale," Cordelia and Wesley answered at the same time, both had horror in their voices.

************************************************** I got to my room and didn’t bother with the lights. I sat down on the bed and opened my hand. The picture is of Buffy, taken outside and she was sitting on a veranda. It was a younger picture of her, maybe eighteen. Her smile was brilliant but her eyes captured my attention. There was something in them, if only I knew what. I pushed the picture under my pillow. I didn’t want to know how he had gotten the picture and I didn’t care. The only pictures I had anymore were the ones in my memory.

I had known instantly when I saw Willow sitting in the foyer. I couldn’t feel Buffy anymore. I had been too excited to notice it at first, but seeing Willow there brought me down from my high. I had been off saving Cordelia and Buffy died. It’s a decision that will live with me forever. I don’t regret saving Cordelia, I love her, though not as much as I loved Buffy. Cordelia has been with me through everything and she is wonderful with Connor, almost like a mother. Sometimes I close my eyes and think that it is Buffy that's helping me and lying down with us at night to give Conner a bottle. But it's not, she is dead.

I have always wondered why the powers didn’t send Cordy a vision. You would think that would be top on their priority list. For me to help their chosen one, but a vision never came and Willow said she...she jumped to her death. I felt the first tear fall and didn’t bother to wipe it. They said she would live if I didn’t stay human. I put my hands on my face and started to cry harder. I miss her and now I find out she's married. She never told me.

"Angel," I heard Cordelia whisper. She hadn’t bothered to knock and came and sat down beside me. She reached for my shoulders and pulled me down on to her lap where she stroked my hair and whispered," Everything will be ok."

"I can't do this," I croaked.

"I know," she said reaching down to run her fingers over my face. I shivered.

"Angel, we have to help him. Wesley is looking into it and seeing if it's legit. If it is we have to help him, he has to know the truth," she whispered.

I nodded," I can't go back to Sunnydale, too many memories," I choked.

Her hands were on my face wiping away the tears," Yes, you can. You have to face it sooner or later. You went away Angel and it did you no good," She whispered in my ear.

I turned to face her with my head lying flat on her lap. I just stared at her, I grabbed her by the neck and pulled her down and kissed her. She always tasted like chocolate. I closed my eyes and moaned; I remember the flavor of chocolate. I remember how Buffy… I sat up and pushed her away," I'm sorry Cor I just can’t right now," I walked over to the other side of the room.

"Its ok Angel," she said and walked out of the room.

I stared at the curtain covering my windows and whispered," Its hurts. She was my girl." I glanced down at my hand and pulled off my ring. It wasn’t right that I was wearing it, since she was already married. It was almost laughable; Buffy never knew that we became married that night. I couldn’t tell her and now I find out she was already married. I clutched the ring in my hand and threw it against the wall.

*****************************************

Lex got in the limo and told the driver to head home. He sat back in the plush leather seat and thought about the day's events.

Meeting Angel was interesting; he didn’t like me that was evident. Not that I like him. Anybody or anything that touches my objects are usually my enemies but I need him to find her. From watching them over the years I know he can find her and when he does I will just have to find a way to get rid of him. A smile graced my face.

"Driver take me to Wolfram & Hart," I snapped through a small intercom. Ten minutes later I strolled in like I owned the place, well my father was a senior partner here so that made me something. I walked up to the reception area and the little old lady sitting behind jumped up when she saw me and grabbed a phone. I reached out and snatched the phone away from her and said," Who am I speaking too," into the phone.

"Linwood, Hello Alexander," he said. I disliked the man already; no one calls me Alexander, not since I was a boy.

"You can call me Lex, I want to see Hank Summer," I growled into the phone.

"How about you come see me and we will talk. Hank has taken a vacation," he said over the phone.

I didn’t like how he said vacation. "Hmm how about no, I have no reason to talk to you," I snapped. I threw the phone at the lady and strolled out. I looked up at the sky and grinned. "Just enough time to get some dinner," I mused.

I walked to the nearest little cafe and sat down. I thought about what had happened today. I met a vampire and a Seer and a real Watcher. Father had known about the prophecies of an unknown slayer being born. I really don’t know how he figured out it was Buffy and I didn’t want to know. I don’t trust my father.

I had no idea what a Slayer was until I found his old books with my marriage certificate. What I hadn’t understood is why he hadn’t bothered to use her, to mold her into what he wanted. He did it with everyone else, why not this girl?

When I asked him about it he told me it was none of my business. Seeing how I wouldn’t get any information out of him I paid several P.I's to keep track of Buffy. I have files upon files about her. Everything from when she lost her first tooth to when she became the Slayer. I know all about her and Angel, Parker and about Riley. Neither one of them I like. It really didn’t matter; Parker had a small mishap while driving and Riley was out of the picture thanks to me calling in a favor. I thought it was time he went back to work. Angel on the other hand had been more difficult, I never knew he would leave her on his own. I wouldn’t have. So what if you have a pesky curse, find some way around it.

I grinned at the thought of being able to use that information if I ever needed to. Maybe being immortal stunts your logic.

I pulled out a small picture I had of Buffy taken about five months ago and I stared at it. She was beautiful, what a great wife she will make. The perfect trophy and she was so strong. My own personal bodyguard, until she gets pregnant of course. There will be children. I have to have someone to take over when I die.

I sat there and ate my dinner all the while staring at the picture. " I will find you," I said out loud. I didn’t care if anyone heard me or not. I glanced at the window and noticed it was getting darker. I paid the bill and strode to the car. This should be fun.

Part 3

I just stared at the ring on the floor. I quickly looked at the window knowing that the sun was going down. I slowly stood and walked over and grabbed my jacket. I headed towards the door when I stopped and closed my eyes. With a sigh I turned around and walked over to where I threw the ring and picked it up. I was tempted for a second to put it back on but it took even less than a second to remember she wasn't mine. She never was. I slipped the ring in my pocket and headed out my bedroom door.

As I walked down the hall I could hear singing and I stood at the second floor looking down. Cordelia was swaying softly and singing to Conner. I could make out the words perfectly from where I was standing.

The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout

down came the rain and washed the spider out

out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the

itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

I heard Conner sigh and Cordelia giggle. She was singing the song over and over and my son was watching her intensely. Conner needed a mother. I can't give him everything that's obvious. I never thought of Cordelia as the mother type, come to think of it I have never thought of Cordelia as anything but a friend. Until recently we were just that and then the spirits... It felt good to be touched and kissed like that. I know we had lovers in us and I can tell Cordelia and I have nowhere near the passion that they did but maybe we could learn.

I touched my jacket pocket and felt the ring. A small voice whispered in my head that I didn't have to learn passion with Bu...no I will not even think of her. Its time to heal and move on. I nodded to myself," Yes, start over," I whisper.

I smiled as I saw Cordelia grab a bottle and sat down and feed him. Sometimes I think she knows him better than me. I flicked a glance to Wesley and saw him whispering to Fred at the computer. Good they were all busy and I tried to make my way out of the building without them seeing me.

"Just where the hell do you think you are going?" Cordelia screeched.

"Sunnydale," I murmured back without turning around.

I heard the click of heels and knew she was heading my way. I started walking to the door but a hand grabbed me and said," No way mister. You are not going to face the brat pack by yourself," Cordelia whispered in my ear.

I turned to face and gave a sad smile. She had Conner on her shoulder trying to burp him and was scowling at me.

"I have to go, just please stay here and take care of Conner," I said.

"Nope sorry. I know those people and they will tear you apart Angel," She sneered.

I tried to shake my head and I wanted to tell her she was wrong but I knew better. When Willow had shown up at the hotel she said that Buffy was already buried and that they were having a memorial service to celebrate the good things in Buffy's life. We never showed, none of us. I will live with that decision for the rest of my life. I couldn't do it, I couldn't think of all that sunshine down in the ground. I... I just couldn't. I had remained locked in my room the day of the service but the next day I listened to the message from Xander on the answering machine. I didn't know the kid knew that many curse words. I felt lower than dirt listening to it. I had let Buffy down and Xander and everyone knew it. I should have been at that service. I even let the tears finally drop when I heard they had it at night so I could be there and....and Spike.

"I'm going, I have to go for Lex," I murmured.

"And for you?" Cordelia whispered a mixture of sadness and hope on her face.

I just shrugged.

"Angel before you go I need to talk to you," Wesley said not looking up.

"Can this wait I need to get out of here?" I asked. I wanted to leave without Lex. I didn’t want to be anywhere around him.

"It deals with the marriage certificate, Lex showed us," he said. He finally looked up and stared at me for a moment. I actually saw horror in his eyes and it took a lot for Wes these days.

"Tell me," I said wearily.

"I thought I recognized the symbol at the bottom of the certificate. I had Fred search for me and....and we found it," he said excitedly.

"And?" I asked.

"Yes well I figured that I was wrong and Fred here is just a genius on the computer and hacked into the state files. I found the copy of the certificate and well it confirmed my suspicions. Angel there is no easy way to say this but...

"It was Wolfram and Hart," Fred squealed.

I frowned," What was Wolfram and Hart?" I asked.

"Yes I was getting that when Fred interrupted," Wes said giving Fred a glance.

"Sorry." She whispered and went back to the computer screen.

"It seems that they were the ones who drew up the contract," He said not meeting my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"It seems that Holland was the attorney that drew up the papers," he said softly.

"Its probably how he became senior partner," Cordelia snapped.

I shook my head but things started falling into place. They never bothered Buffy. She had lived here for years and when she became the Slayer they didn't touch her they didn't try too. They never even bothered to try to get rid of her while she was in Sunnydale. I had briefly wondered when I first met Lindsey. He had always seemed like the type that would have liked to have dead Slayer to his name but he never tried.

"They knew she was the Slayer from the beginning?" I asked.

"That's my guess but why not try to kill her," Wesley mused.

"Um...because she married a senior partners son," Fred blurted out.

"What," three voices shouted.

"See, it says right here Lionel Luthor, second chair senior partner at Wolfram and Hart," she said pointing to the screen.

"I didn't think he was a lawyer?" Cordelia asked.

"I've checked his background that I can find and so far I don't see a degree in Law," Fred said.

"Huh that's weird," Cordelia whispered.

"No its not. Who says you have to be a lawyer to work for the devil?" I asked. I quickly gave Conner a kiss on the cheek and came very close to kissing Cordy again. I turned and headed towards the door.

"I told you that you were not going alone," She snapped.

"I need you here for Conner," I groaned. I did not want to do this. I figured in and out in thirty.

"Conner is in perfectly good hands with Fred and Wesley and I think Gunn is coming back tonight," She said walking out the door. I followed and opened her door to let her in. There was no arguing with her.

I hopped into the car and waited for her to join me. I know it would have been polite to open her door but now was not the time for me to be a gentleman. My mind was too occupied on other things namely Sunnydale.

I pulled away from the curve to hear the squeal of tires.

"Oh my god he's going to hit us," Cordelia screamed. She grabbed the door and flinched.

I just stared at the black Porsche that stopped about a half a foot from my car. Even though the windows were tinted I knew exactly who it was.

"Oh god, I think I'm having a heart attack," Cordelia moaned.

I reached over and gave her a small pat on the shoulder but watched as the driver side door opened and Lex stuck his head.

"Going somewhere?" He asked. His eyes staring at me full of hatred, which I know my eyes, reflected back.

"Meet you at the Summer's resident," I growled.

Lex hopped back into his car and squealed away.

"He's a maniac. I can see how Buffy would stay married to him. They are both perfect for each other," Cordelia snidely.

I frowned. I let go of the breaks and hit the gas. I guess I'm following Lex. I floored it once I hit the interstate. So maybe my baby wasn’t a Porsche but I was defiantly going to keep up with that little boy.

"Angel please slow down," Cordelia cried out.

I groaned and slowed down and watched as Lex's car became smaller and smaller in the distant. Twenty minutes later I pulled up to the Summer's house. The first thing I noticed right away was that there were several cars in the driveway and all the lights were on at the house and the sound of very loud music drifting outside.

"Looks like a party," Cordelia snapped.

"Hmm," I grunted.

I hopped out my car and walked past Lex who was leaning on his car. I headed towards the door and hesitated before I knocked.

"Well do it, what are you afraid of?" Lex asked.

"Its not what but whom. Have you actually met these people?" Cordelia snapped.

"About a month ago," He snapped back giving Cordelia a nasty look. "Lets just say we are not the best of friends," Cordelia whispered.

"I know," Was all Lex said.

"Look they are not going to take this very well. I don’t think you should tell them about the marriage," I said softly.

"I hired you to find her not think," He whispered in my ear.

My anger increased and my hesitation flew out the window and I knocked.

Part 4

The door swung open and Dawn Summer's stood there.

"Um...hey Dawnie," Angel stuttered.

She just stared at him and her gaze shifted right over Cordelia to me.

"Didn't I tell you not to come here again?" She snapped.

Before I could answer a young redhead came to stand behind her. Whom I recognized as the girl named Willow.

"What's going on out here? Oh. oh Angel" Willow stuttered.

"Hello I'm here too. I'm not invisible," Cordelia snapped.

"Oh sorry hello Cordelia. You cut your hair," Willow said frowning.

"What do you want?" Said a male's voice coming from behind the girls. I watched as the man I knew from the pictures that were always around the girls push the two women out of the way and stand there glaring at us. I believe his name is Alexander.

I felt anger pulsing off him but it was directed at Angel. That was fine as long as it wasn't at me. I didn't want to make an enemy out of him and now that I know he hates Angel, Alexander and I just might become the best of friends.

"You have some nerve coming here," Xander snarled his eyes staring at Angel. I actually saw the vampire flinch.

"Look Xander this wasn't a social call," Angel muttered. His eyes staring at the boy. This was getting good.

"Get the hell out of Sunnydale and take your trash with you," Xander snapped and started to shut the door but Angel stuck his foot in the way and pushed the door back open.

"Excuse me?" Angel snapped.

"You heard me. You take those two and leave. We don't want you here," He snapped.

"Hey, Xander I think you should back off," Cordelia snapped laying a hand on Angels arm.

"Nice and cozy aren't you?" Willow snapped.

"I don't think it’s any of your business," Cordelia snapped back.

"You are such a bitch. You haven't changed a bit obviously," Willow said. Her voice was like ice and I could tell she was tense but I watched as feminine hand reached up to squeeze her shoulder. She actually seemed to loosen a bit.

Cordelia was sputtering. Honestly I didn't like her. She seemed like a person I would sleep with but never have a conversation with.

"Willow, I know things have been bad around here," Angel tried.

"Angel do shut up. You have no idea what has happened around here. You never tried to find out. You left, or did you forget. You did forget about everyone who actually gave you the time of day, except maybe Cordelia because she's obviously giving you something," Dawn snapped pushing her way back up to the front to stand by Xander.

"Look, I'm really sorry that we intruded on you. You seem to be having a party of some sort I just need some information. I hired Angel Investigation," I said trying to reason with these people.

"Its a coming home party," A voice piped up.

"Huh?" Cordelia and Angel asked together.

"Our honeymoon," The tiny little blond said from behind Xander.

"Anya?" Cordelia asked.

"Yup, Xander and I, married see," she thrust her hand in front of Cordelia's face and wiggled it around for her to see the engagement ring and the wedding band. I almost snickered at the brunette's _expression.

"Your married?" She asked.

"Yup, one month and two days," Piped Anya grinning happily.

I rolled my eyes. I hope Buffy is not that animated.

"That's all very nice and congratulations but I really need some information," I said. I was starting to get annoyed especially from Angel who was doing nothing but staring at Xander and the young man was staring back at him.

I reached up and shook Angel. He turned to glare at me. "Don't ever touch me again," He growled.

I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow.

"Look guys, like Lex said he's a client and he um.. how do I put this," Angel mumbled.

"Oh for Gods sake, Lex here was married to Buffy when she was a baby. He's looking for his wife," Cordelia snapped.

There was nothing but silence as everyone at the door turned to look at me and I just nodded.

"No way, we would know," Xander mumbled.

"Damnit I wanted to be the first one married," Anya whined.

"Sorry?" I shrugged.

I watched as everyone backed up. I thought they were going to let us in but the door was slammed in our faces.

"Well that was interesting," I said. I stuffed my hands into my jeans and walked back to the car. I was use to people shutting doors in my face but I always got around them but for some reason I had a feeling that those people were not going to help me in anyway.

"What were you expecting?" Angel asked.

"Look why don't you tell him," Cordelia whispered to Angel but it was loud enough for me to hear. Angel looked my way and looked extremely sad and he nodded.

"Lex, I have something I need to tell you. Its about Bu..,"but he was interrupted by a blonde stepping out from behind a tree.

"He..hel..hello," She whispered and gave a strained smile. "Its Tara right?" I asked walking towards her. She nodded but stepped back as I got closer.

"I hav..have to go back...inside. She..she will be look..looking for me. I just wa..wanted to say...if you ar...are married to Bu..Buffy. Go to the Br..Bronze," She said and was breathing hard and looking over her shoulder. She turned to run back to the house.

"What was that all about?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't know," Angel said.

"Well looks like I'm going to the Bronze where ever that is," I said and headed back to my car.

I looked up to see them staring at each other. I could tell they were whispering and I had no idea about what. I was getting annoyed by the minute.

"Are you coming?" I yelled.

Cordelia shrugged and Angel said," ya."

I followed Angel not far from Buffy's house to what looked like a warehouse.

"What the hell is this place?" I asked catching up to Angel.

"I thought you knew everything," Angel snarled.

When Angel who was heading towards the door of the warehouse refused to say anything more I turned to look at Cordelia who was walking and putting on makeup.

"Its a club," she said meeting eye contact with me.

I sighed and followed her into the club.

"Ohhh they remodeled," Cordelia squealed.

I frowned the place wasn't that nice but I guess in Sunnydale it’s all they had. I saw Angel stiffen when he walked in and I walked over and ordered a beer and prayed for and walked back to Angel who was standing in the shadows looking around. He was starting to make me jumpy. I didn't trust this guy especially when I read everything I could on his past. Still bothers me that Buffy and him were together in anyway. I leaned against the wall and started looking for any sign that Buffy was here.

"Angel come dance with me," Cordelia yelled over the music.

"I don't think so Cordy," Angel declined but Cordy grabbed his hand anyway and started to pull.

"One dance and we will tell him ok," She said.

Tell me what but she started singing.

You're a song
Written by the hands of God
Don't get me wrong cause

I flinched as I listened to her voice. "Stick with your day. night job, whatever that is," I muttered.

I watched her drag Angel out to the middle of the dance floor and he wrapped his hands around her waist and she basically glued herself to him. I watched the couple for a minute. Angel seems to be enjoying himself, maybe I was wrong maybe I don’t have to worry about Buffy and Angel anymore. I headed to the other side of the room looking for any sign of Buffy when I heard the scream.

*******************************************************************************************

I had to escape the house. All that hooray for Anya and Xander were honestly making me kind of sick. Not that I wasn't happy for them but it was the fact that I would never have that sort of love like they did. No one ever sticks around. I once believed in love but that flew out the door when Angel left. I tried with Riley I really did but I just couldn't.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. Mine was pathetic but at least I didn't have to fight anymore. Then they brought me back. I knew they were doing something they thought was right. They thought I was in some hell dimension, im suppose to give them that credit but its hard. They let me crawl out of my own grave.

The only person who actually talks to me about anything besides, are you ok Buffy, or is there anything I can get you Buffy is Spike of all people I didn't think he would be the one I would start spending time with. It really wasn't a healthy relationship, he wanted more but even though I felt nothing at all didn't mean I wanted to sleep with him or did I? My life was confusing these days.

I dressed myself in a purple tank top with diamond cut outs on the side an black leather pants with black high-heeled boots. I threw my hair in a bun and added a simple cross. I was dressed to kill and that was exactly what I did to two vamps who got in my way on the way to the Bronze. I stepped in and grabbed a drink and gulped it down and made my way to the dance floor.

"Hello cutie," Spike said coming up behind me. I stopped myself from flinching as his arm snuck around me. He's body was cold just like Angel's. I sighed and decided to let myself fall back into him. I can think of him as Angel right? As long as my back was to him I had no cares.

The music changed and I swayed against him and a small smile came to my lips as I felt his arousal. I felt him pull me against him harder and I caught a whiff of cigarette smoke and instantly wanted one. A bad habit as Xander said to me when he found out about the smoking.

I chuckled remembering how I told him what were the cigarettes going to do, kill me?

"Good to hear ya laugh luv," He whispered in my ear. I tilted my head and he buried his head in my neck. I reached up and grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to me. I felt his tongue dart out and I remembered Angel's fangs against my throat. The intense feeling I had from him drinking my blood. He made me his and he walked away.

I started swaying to the song.

(Shakira's Underneath your clothes)

You're a song
Written by the hands of God
Don't get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I'll find them

I swayed against the cold body behind me thinking of another cold body whose kisses could warm me up. His hands had touched all the right spots that night. His mouth, his teeth, his fangs, I sighed.

"Getting hot luv," Spike snickered.

I actually blushed but shook my head.

"I can smell you," He whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes and rubbed up against him.

Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

"Want a bit of a tumble, Slayer," He sneered in my ear.

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other

I just ignored him and listened to the song. The problem was I was so lonely and he was getting tempting. Maybe he could take away my problems for a while. I wonder if he's as good as Angel was.

Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

I just swung my hips and let his hands roam. I threw myself into the song. I ignored the tingling in my stomach and closed my eyes and started singing along with the music.

Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl
For being such a yeah...

I love you more than all that's on the planet
Movin' talkin' walkin' breathing
You know it's true
Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady to her good manners
I'm tied up to this feeling

The tingling was getting closer to me. I did my best to ignore it. Angel wasn't here, hell I haven't even called him to tell him I was alive. I swore I would beat anyone up that called him. He didn't need to deal with my mess.

Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

Spike started to laugh. "Guess your not good enough anymore Slayer," His laughing became louder.

"Huh," I asked startled at his words. I opened my eyes and looked in the startled eyes of Cordelia Chase. She looked at me for a second and started screaming. It wasn't the screaming that pissed me off it was her dancing partner. I was staring into the eyes of a very shocked Angel.

"Oops," I whispered. Suddenly feeling ashamed and untangled myself from Spike who was still laughing. I shouldn’t have ignored that feeling.

Part 5

I just stared at Angel and Cordelia and swallowed thickly. I was seething with jealousy at the bitch that was screaming her head off. I heard Angel whisper my name and I looked up at him. His eyes held anguish and anger. Pain was one thing I expected to see, hey its Angel: Mr. Broody, but hatred? I was suddenly unable to say anything to make the situation better. Cordelia on the other hand was still screaming and starting to cause a panic, "Your dead. Demon, she's going to kill us all." Now honestly I would have laughed except her eyes showed real fear.

"Good Lord, someone shut the bint up," Spike snapped annoyed.

"Yes please do," someone yelled from the crowd.

However my eyes were on Angel's hand that was squeezing Cordelia's arm. Disgusted I grabbed Cordelia who, if it was even possible, started to scream even more and actually tried to push me away. Thank God for super powers! I dragged the screaming ex-May Queen out the door.

"God shut up," I snapped as we stepped into the back alley of the Bronze. I pushed her away from me and she was more than happy to hide behind Angel who followed us out. I could feel his soulful eyes on me but I just couldn't deal with this. Actually, since I had been back there were a lot of things I couldn't deal with.

I turned away from my ex lover to look for the man who wanted to be my lover. I saw him leaning against the wall with a man I didn't know; I didn't bother to give him a second glance. I figured he was a friend of Angel's. I reached into Spike's pocket.

"I love it when you take what you want," Spike purred looking straight at Angel and smirking.

"Shut up," I snapped finding the cigarettes and reaching into his back pocket for the lighter. I inhaled, needing the nicotine and looked at the crowd that was gathered in front of me.

"So your alive?" Angel snapped.

"What does it look like?" I snapped back. Could he not tell I was alive? I was barely living though, so I suppose I wouldn't really call this alive. I could feel his anger and tension from where I was standing. He had no right to be mad at me, right? With a shrug I inhaled again.

"What do you mean alive?" Asked the man standing beside Spike.

I heard Angel growl and my interest in the young man took a new turn. I inhaled again and turned to look at the man in question. He was well dressed and looked damn good in a pair of blue fitted jeans and a black turtleneck. I noticed he had the most stunning set of blue eyes, which were looking at me with what looked like humor. I stared at him for a moment and he stared back and smiled. For a minute I think I might have actually drooled.

I was shaken out of my thoughts by," Well, its nice to know that you two know each other?" Cordelia snapped.

"Huh," I asked staring at her like she was insane. I would remember meeting this hunk.

"Your husband," Cordelia said with a huge evil smile.

I frowned and looked back at the man and started laughing. For the first time since I had been resurrected I was laughing and tears were falling from my face.

I threw the cigarette down and smashed it with the heel of my boot.

"You married slayer?" Spike joked running his hand over my waist.

I was still giggling," Would it make a difference for you?" I asked. My stomach was starting to cramp from the laughter.

"Not in the least, luv," he snickered.

"You are," whispered the hunk against the wall.

I looked at him and sneered," Two marriages I never even knew about. Talk about luck."

I saw a frown crease his handsome face and I saw anger reach his eyes. For a minute I actually believed him, but of course I don't remember a wedding. But then again, Angel never told me what the claddagh ring stood for. I accidentally found out at the magic box while looking up Irish customs.

"Buffy this is serious," Angel snapped.

I turn to look at him again and I really was starting to believe now that they were telling the truth.

"Uh...huh, well I suppose I'll have to get an imaginary divorce. Guess it would be my second," I said softly tapping my ring finger.

I saw pain flash through Angel. I regretted the words after they came out but I wouldn't apologize for anything. I turned and started walking towards my home, Spike right on my heels. I'm sure he wants to comfort me or something, not something that was going to happen.

I felt a hand snatch me and turned to see that it was Cordelia. "Let go," I snapped.

"I am so going to enjoy this, especially since you don’t know. You were married when you were a baby and who gave you away? Can you guess? Dear old daddy." She grinned.

I had the biggest urge to slap her. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, however I didn’t make it that far. "Buffy, I'm sorry I figured they would have told you," the man said.

"Look, I don’t believe you, but the least you could do is tell me your name?" I asked.

"Its Alexander but you can call me Lex," he said. There was something in his eyes that mesmerized me. There was a huge part of me saying don’t trust him.

"Well Lex, do you have proof that I'm married to you?" I purred.

He smirked," Of course," he said and pulled out an old piece of paper from his jean pocket. I couldn't help but notice how tight those jeans were. He handed me the paper and I stared in shock as I saw both of our names as well as my father’s name down at the bottom. I let the paper fall from my hands.

"How could he?" I whispered. My own father.

"I thought he would have told you. I've known for awhile," My new husband said to me.

"Buffy," he started again, but I held up my hand and cut Lex off from saying anything else as I turned to walk to my house. I heard footsteps behind me but I ignored them. I walked up the steps of my house to see that the party was still going on. I opened the door, went in and walked straight to the music turning it off.

"Hey Buffster, turn the music back on," Xander complained.

I stalked over to the phone and started dialing. Hmm gee, dear old dad wasn’t home.

"Buffy he's gone," Lex said standing behind me. It startled me that he was able to come that close without me realizing he was there.

"Can I come in?" Angel asked quietly. Startling everyone.

"Hell no," Xander yelled.

"Xander shut up. Come in," I said, never looking up from my hands.

"Buffy what is going on?" Willow whispered.

I started laughing again. "Well kiddies, it looks like I'm married," I said.

"Huh,"

"What?"

"God Dammit, she beat me. Xander I'm very pissed, she beat us to the altar," Anya complained and I heard her stomp out of the house.

"Um Buffy, who are you married too?" Dawn asked confused.

"Guys meet Lex... my husband," I stuttered placing my hand on Lex's shoulder and shivered. Lex must have felt it too because he smirked and was staring at me intently.

Part 6

My eyes never left her and neither did that Neanderthal of a vampire. I don't think his loving her disgusted me more than the bleach blond touching her did. Obviously I wasn't the only one because every time he did Angel growled. Something was going to have to be done about them both. I can't have competition. I wanted this woman. Something about her was driving me crazy, maybe it was the way she moved, the way she looked in those leather pants and that I could get a small glimpse of what was under her shirt every time she moved. Or maybe it was the fact that she was mine. Mine and only mine I grinned.

I watched as her little friends started laughing and then nervously started asking questions when they saw she was serious. She hasn't looked at me since we were outside that club.

"Look, I think you all need to go home, so I can...um figure this all out," Buffy said as soon as her friends started yelling.

"Buffy I don't thi....."Xander said

"You know how to think?" Cordy snorted.

"Oh God your still here. Don't you have an audition to go fail," Xander started in.

"Get out," Buffy yelled.

Everyone was startled at the venom in her voice.

"We sort of live here Buffy," The red head piped in.

"Xander, can they stay with you tonight, including Dawn?" Buffy snapped.

"Now wait a minute missy. Xander and I have a sex filled night ahead of us, so no way," The woman getting married to the kid snapped.

Everyone in the house groaned including Cordelia who I think looked ready to throw up.

"Xander," Buffy warned.

"Ya ya, come on guys," He said.

Angel, Cordelia, Buffy and myself sat in silence for a few minutes after everyone left.

"So," I said.

"So," She said fidgeting underneath Angel's glare.

"Look, we gotta go. We will leave you two love birds alone," Cordelia snickered grabbing Angels arm and dragging him to the door.

His eyes met mine and I shivered. He has to go. The door was slammed shut and I turned to look at my wife who was staring at me.

"So why now?" She asked.

"Your twenty-first is coming up?"

She gave me a puzzled look.

"It can be annulled."

Her beautiful mouth shaped an O but nothing came out.

"Only if that is what you want?" I asked her.

She snorted, "Your kidding right?"

"No, I'm not."

"You are giving me a choice?" she asked slightly stunned, and was that awe in her voice?

I nodded.

We stared at each other in awkward silence.

"I can help you," I said.

She raised a beautiful sculptured eyebrow and cocked her head.

"The social workers will disappear and all your money problems will be solved. I can support you if we stay married."

I saw something come in her eyes but I couldn't make it out.

"You would do this for me?" She whispered.

I nodded and pulled out a phone.

"Who are you calling? It's ten at night." She said awkwardly.

I ignored her and said, "Take care of the kid problem Jeffrey."

I saw Buffy tense up and advance on me. I snapped the phone shut and placed it on the table.

"Who was that?" She growled.

"One of my lawyers. You will never see another social worker again," I smiled.

She stared at me for a few seconds her eyes never wavering. I slowly placed my hand on her face. She flinched but didn't back away.

"You're beautiful."

"I am?"

I leaned down and slowly placed my lips on hers. This was torture, what I wanted to do was throw her on the couch and claim her as mine as many times as I could but her lips were like heaven. I think I actually moaned and I was thrilled when I heard her sigh. I deepened the kiss and pulled her closer to me. I felt her arms wrap around my neck and it deepened the kiss even more. I prodded with my tongue to make her open her mouth. I almost grinned when she did. I let my tongue duel with hers and I pulled her hair so it bared her neck and started kissing that beautiful white skin. I did grin when I heard her breathing start to become ragged but she tensed when I kissed one spot.

She backed away and was flushed but her hand was at her neck covering something.

"Buffy?"

"I cant, not there," She moaned

I walked over to her and lifted her hand and saw what looked like a scar.

"Angel did this?" I asked already knowing the answer.

She never said a word.

"He doesn't want you Buffy. He's in love with that bitch. You're too good for him. Let me make you mine," I whispered in her ear. I felt her shiver and I pulled her closer to me and took the hand I was holding and let her feel how much I wanted her.

I heard her moan and I started sucking on the other side of her neck. I didn't want her to freeze up again. I wanted her. God I wanted her more than any other woman before.

She sighed and I pulled her to the couch and let my hands wander to the ties in the back of her shirt. I slowly undid them while I was sucking on her shoulder and placing small kisses up and down her arms. I pulled away the shirt and groaned. Her breasts were tiny and perfect. She grabbed me and kissed me again and I let my hands travel to her breast. I slowly let them trail over her nipples till she was moaning.

"What do you want?"

"God I...I need more." she said arching up till her breast filled my hands.

I cupped and squeezed them. I lowered my lips and started placing small kisses over her breast never touching her nipples.

"Please," She moaned.

Finally after enough torture I licked her nipples and she reached up and cupped the back of my head and brought it down. I started sucking.

"Oh God." She whispered.

I was suddenly against the back of the couch. She took my shirt off in record time and I was pretty sure I heard it rip. I moaned when I felt her little tongue over my nipples. If it was possible I became harder. Her hands reached down and started with the buckle of my pants. I heard a frustrated moan and heard a snap. Now I know she broke my belt. Didn't care though. I heard the zipper coming down and groaned when she reached in and pulled out my erection.

"Commando, huh?" she grinned.

"You never know what might happen," I smirked.

"Hmm."

She ran her hands up and down my cock and I grabbed her hands.

"Stop, I want to be in," I moaned.

Her eyes twinkled. "Not a problem for me."

I flipped her over on the couch and pulled her boots and leather pants off. She was wearing a pair or red thongs and I pulled them off as well. God she was beautiful. I smirked when I heard her groan and ran my hands over her thighs.

"Stop teasing," Buffy groaned.

I humored her and pushed a finger in her and she jumped. She was wet and dripping. I wanted to go down on her and taste her but at this moment I just wanted to fuck her. So much for going slow.

"Now Damnit," She barked out.

That was all I needed I quickly shucked off my shoes and pants. I sat on the couch and pulled her so she was on top of me. I grabbed her hips and pushed down while I trusted up.

Buffy let out a scream while I let out a moan. We kept a fast pace going and I watched her face. She was beautiful while screaming for more, every moan, every keel made me thrust upward harder. She was close; I could feel her begin to tighten. I reached down between us and flicked her clit.

"Fuck," she groaned.

I just nodded, not able to say anything I was close. I watched through narrow eyes as Buffy threw her head back and wailed. I thrusted harder and faster.

"God," I moaned. I exploded.

We lay there for a few moments her head was on my shoulder and both of us breathing fast. She looked up at me and her eyes showed nothing but sincerity.

"I can't be married to you." She whispered.

After what just happened it was the last thing I expected to hear from her. I lifted a hand to her face." Why not?"

"I don't love you. You don't love me, I would probably get you killed, and the list goes on," She whispered. Tears were beginning to form in those beautiful readable eyes.

"Buffy... Is this because of Angel or that blond idiot?" I growled.

She stared at me for a minute. So many emotions going through her beautiful eyes. She started to laugh." You saw Angel with Cordelia, he doesn't love me. He left and he needs to stay gone and..... and Spike... oh, you have got to be kidding?"

I nodded.

She got up and we both sighed. I was starting to miss her already. She walked to the stairs not bothering to cover herself and looked at me with a small sad smile.

"Would you be faithful to me?" She asked quietly.

Part 7

Lex smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. I knew better than to trust him, hell, he had just had sex with someone he didn’t know. Why would he be faithful to me?

"Would you be faithful to me?" he asked the question back.

I didn’t bother saying anything. That was a question I was unsure about. Why would I? Did I love him? I don’t even know him. However, the fact that I had just had unprotected sex with someone I didn’t know didn’t escape me.

"Difficult question?" He asked.

"Is it for you?" I said evenly.

He smiled, damnit does this man have to smile? He’s so delicious when he smiles. I shook my head.

"I’m going to take a shower," I said walking out of the room. I just heard him sigh.

I got in the shower and groaned. I have to say, the sex was better than with Riley but I wanted more. There was something missing. Granted - it was really good, but it felt meaningless. Is that how a marriage is supposed to be? Is that why married couples don’t stay together? I refuse to even think about my parents.

"Eww… Buffy don’t go there," I snapped to myself. I felt myself shudder.

Did I sleep with Lex because he was smooth or was it because I was jealous of Cordelia all over Angel, or was it because I needed something? No, if I wanted something I could have slept with Spike and made it totally meaningless. It wasn’t wrong was it? I mean I’m married. Ok, so I’m married to a man I have never met.

I sighed, ”Could you possibly be anymore slutty?” I asked myself.

I turned the shower off and stepped out. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked back to my room. Lex was sound asleep on my bed. I sighed, and reached into my closet to find something to sleep in. I actually didn’t feel like patrolling. In fact, a smile came to my face when I thought about climbing into bed with Lex and just snuggling. Does Lex snuggle, he sure as hell looked snuggable.

I was about to climb in when I felt it, or rather him. I knew Angel was outside. I walked down the stairs and headed towards the front door. Now I suddenly felt dirty. I looked down at what I was wearing and cringed. I was wearing red silk boxers that looked like they belonged to Dawn. They were way too short but hey they were comfy and a matching red silk camisole. You could see through the entire outfit.

"What the hell, he’s probably boinking the prom queen from hell. Time to show him what he’s lost," I snickered trying to get some confidence.

I swung the door open but no Angel. I looked around but nope, he wasn’t there, but the feeling was strong.

"Angel just show yourself," I snapped.

Angel stepped out behind a shadow from the side of the house.

"Shouldn’t you be with Cordelia?" I sneered.

To his credit his expression never changed but he was at my side in an instant. Almost to fast for me to see him. He pushed me roughly up against the front door. My head hit the door hard. I was pretty sure it left an indention but I didn’t fight him.

"You could have told me," He snapped.

"I didn’t know I was married...again," I snapped back. This time I did see him flinch but he shook me a little.

"Not what I meant," He growled.

I snorted.

"I had a right to know you were alive," He snapped, his grip was starting to hurt.

"Does it matter that I’m alive?" I snapped back.

When he didn’t say anything I continued. "You have obviously moved on to someone else you can’t give sunlight and babies too," I sneered.

Something flickered in his eyes and I got a bad feeling.

"Buffy...I...things have happened," He started and loosened his grip.

"Look around Angel, I think things have happened here too."

"It hurt," He croaked and suddenly buried his head in my neck. I could feel his tears falling. Tears sprang to my eyes but I blinked to keep them back.

I ran a hand through his hair and tried to consol him but he was shaking and the tears were coming harder. Suddenly he growled and tensed immediately. His head snapped up and his eyes were flashing yellow.

"Didn’t waste any time screwing your husband,” he sneered.

Fury flashed through me. "Hello! Cordelia!" I sneered back. I tried to push him away but his grip was too tight. What frightened me was that I saw his game face come down and I had never seen him this angry before, or at least not at me anyway.

"Your mine," He growled and kissed me. I couldn’t help the moan that came out. I felt his fangs nip my lips and I could smell the blood flowing from them. I felt Angel's tongue sneak out and lick the blood up. He pushed me back and I could see his eyes. I actually saw emotion, passion and anger. Angel dropped to his knees and kissed the inside of my thigh. He placed a hand on each leg and spread them apart.

I screamed when I felt his fangs go in to the inside of my thigh. I was starting to get dizzy from the sensation and probably the lack of blood. I didn’t care, I gripped his head and I heard him growl even more. I felt him slide my boxers to the side and he did something I never expected, he just plunged a finger in.

"God," I groaned.

He grunted and he ripped the shorts off. He stood up and I wailed. I wanted more. I heard his zipper come down and I watched in fascination when he pulled his erection out. He picked me up and I quickly straddled his waist and he pushed me up against the wall. He thrust into me and we both grunted. God how long I have wanted this. I did my best not to scream and Angel noticed and he stopped thrusting.

"Scream," He demanded.

I stared quizzingly at him. He sneered and his eyes flickered up towards my window. He knew exactly why I didn’t want to scream. I didn’t want to wake Lex up. Angel wanted Lex to see.

"No," I grunted.

He thrust into me with a force that was painful, even for me, and I screamed.

"Name," he panted.

"Angel," I screamed as he pounded into me.

"Mine," he grunted and he licked my neck and plunged his fangs into his scar. That’s all it took for me. For a moment I really thought I was back in heaven and then I felt myself dropping to the ground. I landed on the porch with a thud. I stared up at him and he looked at me, anger still there in his eyes and he turned to walk away.

I felt the tears start to fall. "Walk away, its what your good at," I snapped. I saw him stop and I stood up and slammed the door. I literally fell on the couch and bawled.

"Why me?" I sobbed.

I cried for everything that had ever happened to me. For my calling, for my parents, for my deaths, for my marriage to Angel and for my marriage to Lex which was going to fail. I wasn’t even sure I could love anymore. I cried at the thought of Angel being with Cordelia giving her everything I wanted. Pure happiness was something neither of us found tonight, Angel wouldn’t be losing his soul.

I fell asleep feeling like I had nothing left.

Part 8

I stared at her on the couch. I felt anger and maybe the other feeling was hurt, I wasn’t sure, but I sure as hell felt jealousy. I had heard everything. How could I not, she was screaming. She sure as hell didn’t scream like that for me. I watched everything from the window. I saw her throw her head back in satisfaction and was disgusted as he bit her. However she seemed to enjoy it and I saw her pain as he stood and walked away from her. She would never love me.

So here I am sitting at the bottom step of the stairs. I had tried to go back to sleep but her pathetic sobs had kept me awake. Ok, so they weren’t pathetic but anger had cursed trough me when I saw her with him not even an hour after me. What kind of person was Buffy Summers? It wasn’t just anger I was feeling but envy as well. God I envied the vampire. I hated Angel. I hated him with a fucking passion.

I walked up the stairs and picked up my cell phone and called Jeffrey again.

"A disappearance has to happen," I snarled.

"Yes sir," Jeffrey said and I hung up the phone.

I didn’t have to say who or what, Jeffrey knew. He would never say a word. I liked being a bad ass and I liked being feared. I walked back down the stairs. Something was telling me Buffy would never be scared of me. I wasn’t sure anything could scare her. I’m not sure that’s something I like.

A sly grin graced my face and I slid on the couch and picked up Buffy's head. I stroked her hair and felt her wake up.

"Hello beautiful," I whispered in her ear. I felt her tense and I saw her try to smile. I kissed her ear and I noticed that the scar on her neck was slightly red. I closed my eyes and tried counting to ten but felt a small hand slip in mine. I opened my eyes to see her staring at me.

She sighed and brought my hand to her lips, kissed it and closed her eyes. I tried to ignore the fact that her hands were shaking. I continued stroking her hair, her neck and her face. I let my fingers trace her lips and nose. I suddenly felt like someone was watching me and was startled to see that the door was open and Angel was standing there in the doorway.

I grinned at his expression. I gave him a look as if to say you shouldn’t have walked away. I lifted her hand and kissed it and Buffy sighed and tried to get closer.

My grin turned smug. Angel had fucked up and by the expression on his face he knew it.

"Thank you," I mouthed.

Angel let his face change and for a moment I felt fear but relaxed when Angels eyes went to Buffy's who’s eyes were now open.

"Get out," She whispered.

"Buffy please let me talk to you," Angel said.

Buffy shook her head.

"Please baby," Angel croaked.

Buffy started laughing hysterically. "I’m not your baby. I’m his wife," She said snuggling up to me.

Angels face flashed hatred and pain and I grinned some more and pulled her close to me.

Angel opened his mouth but Buffy jumped up. God she was beautiful even though she was only half dressed.

"I said get out, you are not wanted here. You didn’t want me Angel, you wanted for him too see you try to claim me. You left me, you have no right to me at all," She hissed.

I watched in amazement and pure amusement as she pushed him out of the door and he landed flat on his back. She then however turned to me and said," Get out."

I frowned but she came over and dragged me out the door to where the vampire was starting to stand up. She pushed me outside next to him.

"Ya know what? I don’t need either one of you. Do either one of you actually care about me? She asked.

She didn’t let either one of us say anything before she slammed the door in our faces. I heard the door click and knew she locked it.

"Your an ass," Angel growled.

I turned to face him, my hands clenching and I tried to hit him. Angel was faster than me and I got a right fist in my face. My head snapped back and I was sure I had broken my nose by the searing pain. I reached up and felt the blood dripping down and started to laugh.

"I’m an ass? You probably killed any feelings she had for you when you screwed her into the door and walked away. You walked away from her and left her to her tears. I was there to dry them for her. Why don’t you go back to your brunette bimbo and leave my ‘wife’ alone," I stressed.

"I should kill you," Angel sneered.

"You wouldn’t enjoy it," I snapped.

"Oh yes I would boy," He growled.

Suddenly the door opened up to see Buffy standing there in sweats pants and an over sized shirt. Looking very beautiful I thought. She threw my phone to me and said," You might want to call Jeffrey back and tell him not to take care of the disappearance," She snarled.

"What?" I asked. Fear laced through me. How the hell did she know?

She smiled and it scared me. "Jeffrey called back and with a little sweet talk I said I would take a message," she sneered.

She looked at Angel and said, “Watch your back." and with that she shut the door.

I just stared at the door and then down at the phone. Jeffrey was going to be looking for a new job.

"Now who do you want to disappear?" Angel asked. I twirled to see him standing maybe an inch behind me and I backed up.

"You did your job, now leave," I snapped.

"No, I don’t think so," He said.

"Could you two leave? I really don’t want to call the cops. Just leave, the both of you and Angel the suns coming up soon," Buffy yelled from her window. She looked at both of us for a minute with sad eyes and slammed the window shut.

I turned to see Angel walking down the street shaking his head. I did have a moment off happiness at thought of him burning alive before he reached the hotel, cause I sure as hell wasn’t going to give him a lift.

My moment of happiness wore off when I realized I was going to have find a hotel for myself. I wonder if there are any decent hotels in this piss ant town. I passed Angel without a second look. God I hope I’m not going to have to stay in the same hotel as him.

Damnit this does not happen to Lex Luthor. I use to have this feeling that maybe the marriage could become something. Now I wasn’t so sure. She could be my mistress, my lover but I was starting to want more from her. I wanted her to be my wife as well as my lover.

Part 9

I watched from the window and saw Lex get into the car and drive away and my eyes drifted to the lone figure that was walking away. My heart lurched as I saw his head down. I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed and grabbed Mr. Gordo and hugged him to my chest. I didn’t need this. This was way too much for me to deal with right now. I had just returned from the dead. I had my own demons to fight and I sure as hell didn’t want to deal with a husband and an angry mate. I frowned, if I was his mate then how come I wasn’t with him?

Did I love Lex?

"That’s laughable," I moaned. I don’t even know Lex. I did know he wanted Angel gone and he seemed powerful. I also knew he was great in bed. Definitely better than Riley. However I couldn’t see myself with him. I couldn’t see us having a meaningful relationship. It would always be full of secrets and regrets.

I was startled out of my thoughts by the tapping at my window. I swirled around to see Angel standing outside on the ledge. I frowned and walked over and flipped the window open.

I sighed." What do you want now?" I asked quietly.

"Can I come in?" He asked hesitantly.

I walked back over to the bed and climbed into the middle and crossed my legs. I grabbed Mr. Gordo and clutched him back to my chest. I heard Angel climb in and when I didn’t hear anything else I looked up to see Angel staring at me.

"Thought I asked you to leave?" I mumbled.

My heart almost flew out of my chest at his expression. I knew that I had hurt him, but he had used me. Of course that tiny little part of my brain refused to let me believe I had used him as well. I had sex with Angel. How many times had I dreamed about doing that in the last few years? I wanted him and I still do.

"Buffy, I wanted to come and apologize and I..."

I was out of the bed in a flash and placed a finger over his mouth. "Shhh... I don’t want to hear an apology. I don’t want to hear you say you’re sorry," I whispered.

He pushed my finger away and placed a small kiss on the tip. I almost purred; I sure as hell became aroused. Was that possible to get aroused again?

"I wont lie to you. Part of me wanted to make you remember whom you belong to but the other half of me is sorry. I never should have…and I should never have fed from you. I walked away from you a long time ago Buffy," He said looking around the room.

At the memory of him biting my thigh I flushed but looking up at him my heart lurched in my chest. I closed my eyes, I wasn’t sure I could listen to anything he said that would break my heart.

"Is this were you say goodbye?" I croaked out.

His eyes flew to my face. "I don’t want to Buffy. I do love you. I learned a long time ago that we could never be together. Tonight was something that should never have happened. When you died I died along with you and now your back. I don’t know how to feel about this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I had this plan to get on with my life. Things have happened, like I told you before. Things...I’m not going to tell you about. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Buffy I want you to be happy," He said. Tears flowing down his face.

I reached over and clutched his hand. I couldn’t help my own tears. This was worse than dying.

"Cordelia?" I croaked.

He squeezed my hand." I do love her Buffy but she will never replace you. You are the only one who will ever make me happy," He whispered.

It felt like something was pushing down on my chest. It hurt to breath and I gasped for air. I stood up and walked to the other side of the room.

"So you want me with Lex?" I gasped.

I heard a small chuckle and I felt him walk behind me and wrap his arms around me." I don’t want you with anyone but me but that’s not fair to you. He can give you everything I cant," he whispered into my ear.

I couldn’t say anything. I was starting to think I was having a heart attack my chest hurt so much and my body felt like giving out.

"You need to go," I whispered looking at the clock.

I felt him tense. "Cordelia and I are going back tonight," He whispered. He kissed the crook in my neck and I shivered.

I just nodded. I let out a small moan when I felt him unwrap his arms around me and I knew he was gone. I wanted to just start bawling but instead I flung my arm over my dresser and knocked everything off. It felt so good that I just started throwing things at random. After my room was completely destroyed I sat in the corner trying to think of what I was going to do now.

Part 10

I woke with a groan and slightly confused as to why I was laying on the floor and everything came flooding back to me. I pushed myself up so I could stand.

"I should have gotten drunk, would have made everything easier. Who really cares about headaches and hangovers?" I mumbled as I headed towards the shower.

Every muscle in my body hurt, I’m sure it was a combination of sleeping on the floor and having wild sex with two different men last night. I frowned at that thought. Now what possessed me to actually have sex with Lex? Now Angel I dream about nightly, but Lex?

I switched on the water and stepped in. Lex had said that I was beautiful, when was the last time anyone had said that to me? I racked my brain and came up empty. I wanted to feel something. I felt beautiful in his eyes and possessed in Angel's.

I let out a frustrated yell when I realized I wanted them both. I needed them both but I couldn’t have it that way. I shook my head and got out of the shower. I walked into my room and quickly got dressed. I grabbed the phone and realized I didn’t have Lex's number.

I was starting to get more frustrated by the moment. This was Sunnydale, so there were not to many places that Lex could be staying. I headed down the stairs and out the door. I slammed it shut and was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Lex sitting on the porch.

"Buffy," He called. A small sad smile gracing his face.

I turned to see him and couldn’t help but smile. I jogged back over to the porch and sat on the steps and patted the seat beside me. Lex sat down beside me and offered me a drink.

"Starbucks?" I questioned.

He nodded.

I smiled and took a sip. I was slightly surprised to find out it was my favorite, Iced Mocha with vanilla flavoring with whipped cream and lots of chocolate flakes and cinnamon. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know how he knew my favorite. I sighed with pleasure and looked up to see Lex grinning.

"Good morning," He said.

"Morning," I whispered taking another sip.

We sat and stared across the street. I just didn’t know what to say to him.

"Buffy, I think we should...talk about last night and about...Angel. I had a lot of free time to think about things last night," he sighed.

"I don’t want to talk about Angel," I said evenly. Truly I didn’t, Angel was the last person I wanted to talk about with Lex.

"I think its something we have to talk about. Your still in love with him aren’t you?" he asked.

My eyes flew to his face. " I don’t know why you think that?" I asked hesitantly

Lex let out a small chuckle. "I saw you last night remember. I can definitely say that you didn’t look like you had just gone to heaven when you came for me," he snided.

I knew my face was beet red.

"Its ok ya know. You are beautiful when you’re in love. I just wonder if you will ever love me?" He said.

I opened my mouth but no words would come out. I didn’t know what to say.

"I thought that when I finally met you that you would come willingly and be a perfect wife or be the perfect lover. Now that I met you I realized that I don’t want that. I want love not a mistress not just a lover," he whispered staring out into space.

"What are you saying?" I asked frowning.

He sighed," I cant stay here Buffy and I know you cant leave. I have a life in Smallville and well I’m not a Saint."

I smiled, who was?

"I’m just saying that I don’t want someone who is in love with someone else," he whispered.

I took another sip of my drink and my thoughts drifted to Riley. I know Angel was a main reason he left.

"Like we asked before, would you be faithful to me?" he asked.

"I don’t love you, I’m not sure I ever will. I can’t promise you anything," I whispered.

"I know," He said. He stood up and reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a yellow envelope and handed it to me.

I looked up at him and stared confused. He reached down and kissed me on the lips. It was a short and sweet kiss.

"Goodbye Buffy, be good," he whispered as he let his finger trace my face.

I was flabbergasted and I watched him leave. When he was out of sight I found a small note in the envelope and started to read.

Buffy,

Our marriage was made so my father could get his corporation started. He knew you were to be the Slayer and thought you would be the perfect wife for me. What better than to have an Angel on their side. Only they picked the wrong woman. You’re beautiful and strong. Your father was a fool to sell his soul and try to sell yours.

If I were Angel I wouldn’t let you go. I would tie you up to the bed if you were mine. I would spend my life making sure you were happy. He’s a fool but you love him even if it’s degrading to you. I want you to be happy. I know I would never make you happy enough.

There is enough in here for you to be happy with. Don’t worry Dawn is yours legally they wont take her away from you. Just sign the papers and everything will be legal. Our marriage will be over. It never really started did it?

Be happy

Love your ex husband Alexander

"Be happy?" I mused.

How am I supposed to be happy, when the love of my life is leaving and doesn’t want me but is going to stay with Cordelia, and the man I’m married to doesn’t want me to be with him because of the man I love. I rubbed my head, I was starting to get a headache and everything was starting to jumble together.

"Now what am I suppose to do?" I asked aloud.

I sat and finished my drink and realized there was nothing I could do. I knew Angel wouldn’t come back to me. I wasn’t going to go beg him and I wasn’t going to cry over him. If he wanted me he knew where I was he always did.

"Morning Buffster," Xander said walking up the driveway with the gang in tow.

"Good morning," I smiled.

"Where is the hubby," Dawn asked bounding over to me and grabbed my cappuccino.

"Left," was all I said.

I felt every set of eyes on me.

"Wow your track history is astonishing. I hope it doesn’t run in the family," Dawn grumbled.

I giggled and reached over and smacked her on the head.

"Shut up," I snapped but I was grinning for the first time that day.

I felt Willow give me a small hug and I handed her Lex's note.

"Oh…oh, you didn’t?" Willow yelped.

I just shrugged and said," Yes."

"Did what?" Xander and Dawn asked at the same time.

"Oh its obvious, I mean look at her, she has the same glazed look you get Xander after multiple orgasms," Anya said bored.

We all looked up at Xander at that one.

"Is she saying what I think she’s saying?" Dawn asked.

"No, she is not," Xander yelled.

I giggled.

"And what do you think you were doing. Mr. psycho could have killed us all. Should we hop on the next plane out of the country?" Xander scolded.

I stood up and headed down the driveway. "Nope he's fine," I yelled back to them.

"Buffy," Dawn yelled.

I hopped into the jeep and drove down the street. My first stop was the bank where I deposited the check. I bought a paper from the street vendor and then headed towards the Double Meat Palace where I officially quit. I ran smack into Cordelia on the way out the door.

I was about to apologize when she started in on me.

"Well well, is this what the great Slayer has been reduced too?" Cordy snickered.

"Are you sure you should talk. From what I hear you bombed as an actress, no one will hire you," I snapped back.

"It really doesn’t matter, I have Angel," She smirked.

I grinned and I could tell that caught her off guard.

"Do you really? How is that happiness thing working Cordy?" I asked walking away and heading to the jeep.

I heard her huff, and did she just stomp her feet?

"Oh and one more thing, tell him I said thank you for last night," I chuckled and got into the car. I looked back in the rearview mirror to see her flip me off.

"Still Queen - C," I muttered.

I was tempted to stop and find out what hotel Angel was at but I kept to my idea that he could come to me when he wants me.

I walked into the house and flipped open the paper. Time to look for a new job.

One month later.

I stood outside the Hyperion Hotel and stared at Angel holding a small child. My heart broke in a million pieces when I realized the child was his. So this is what he meant by things had changed. He left so I could try to have a normal life. Something I will never have even If I try my damndest.

Angel didn’t show up that night Lex left. I had my hopes up that he would stop by to say he was leaving or something but he never showed up. After a few days I gave up, I stopped holding my breath.

Two days ago I found out I was pregnant. At first I had been shocked but when the idea had set in I realized this was my reason for going on. I was going to be a mother and I was going to try to stay alive and give my child the best life possible.

Xander had asked if I was going to tell the father about his child and I answered that I wasn’t sure and that I would think about it while I was in LA visiting the UCLA campus for a class I needed. I don’t know what possessed me to stop at the hotel. Maybe I wanted to see Angel but I was not expecting him to be feeding a baby and babbling like an idiot. I actually started to drool at Angel holding his child. Has to be the hormones I thought. Something about a strong man holding an infant.

I wonder if the child is a boy or girl? I reached down and let my hand wander over my stomach. If it was possible for Angel to have a child, could it be possible that this child is his? I smiled at the thought but it quickly was replaced by a frown when I saw Cordelia descend the stairs and reach Angel and the baby. She cuddled up to them and started to feed the child.

I watched them for a few minutes and realized Angel must be happy if he’s still with her. I placed a kiss on my hand and reached out and touched the glass.

"Good-bye my Angel," I whispered and turned to walk away.

I made up my mind right then and there that I wouldn’t tell either man that I was pregnant and that I didn’t need either one. I would raise this child on my own. He or she is my salvation, my reason for living.

****************************************

Angel stared down at his child and at Cordelia and felt a small tug at his heart. He got a slight tingling sensation and looked up toward the window. There was no one there but he could have sworn that Buffy was near. He got up and walked towards the window and just saw cars traveling up and down the road like normal. He reached up and touched the window.

He missed her like hell and had been elated to find out that she was no longer married to Lex. One day he would go back to her but for now this is where he was suppose to be. He walked back over to Cordy and his son and stared at them for a minute picturing Buffy feeding his child.

"One day," He whispered.

"What was that?" Cordelia asked.

"Nothing," He whispered and kissed her on the cheek and turned to watch her feed his son.

One day they would be together, just not now.

The End

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