15

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company tonight, Peaches?" William "Spike" Roberts asked a week-and-a-half later. Angel gulped down the beer he’d swigged. "I haven’t been out with you guys in a long time. And don’t call me Peaches. I’ve hated that stupid nickname since the first day of college."

"Whatever." That was always Spike’s answer whenever Angel requested that he stop calling him by his nickname.

"Spike has a point, Angel. It’s like you’ve been avoiding the world the past few weeks. Actually, ever since the reunion if my calculations are correct," Xander pointed out. "Does this have anything to do with your hunt for a certain ex-girlfriend named Buffy?"

The mention of Buffy’s name made Angel’s face pale. "What makes you think that?"

"Could it be common sense? Gimme a break, Angel. Everybody at the reunion saw you chase after her when her husband dragged her out. On top of that you called me and Willow looking for her. What’s really going on? Did something happen between the two of you after you left the reunion?"

"Buffy and I are of the past. End of story."

Before Xander could respond Spike spoke up. "Who’s Buffy?"

"No one," Angel answered shortly.

There was no way Xander would leave it at that. "Buffy Summers was Angel’s high school sweetheart. His one and only true love."

"Xander…"

"What’s the big deal? I’m surprised you haven’t told Spike about your sordid history with your little blonde cheerleader."

Spike raised his eyebrows. "Cheerleader? You dated a cheerleader? No offense, but I’ve seen pictures of you from high school and I don’t picture *that* guy with a cheerleader."

"Buffy was only a cheerleader for one year, Xander," Angel reminded his old high school friend.

"One year was long enough to win her the title of Homecoming Queen our senior year."

"You got with a Homecoming Queen?" Spike asked incredulously.

Angel only groaned and dropped his head on the table with a thud.

Xander laughed at him. "Let me give you the Cliff’s Notes version. Buffy Summers is the one that got away. She moved to Sunnydale the summer before freshman year and you-know-who fell instantly in love with her. They dated exclusively for close to four years, and on graduation day Angel popped the question. She said no, he left town a few days later and the rest is history. They never even slept together."

"Thank you, Xander," Angel muttered sarcastically. "You summed up my life in fifty words or less."

"Let me get this straight," Spike started. "You dated the girl for four years and you never got any from her? What’s the matter with you?"

"Nothing. She wanted to wait until we were out of high school. And I respected her decision." Spike shook his head in amusement. "But the chippy dumped your scrawny ass before you got the pleasure of doing her? She sounds like a dick-tease to me."

"Well she wasn’t. We did…stuff," he defended himself.

"So that Cordelia chick from that party was your first? What’s-her-face, the actress who’s on that television show."

Xander’s brown eyes widened and his jaw fell. "Cordelia? As in Cordelia Chase? Queen C of Sunnydale High was the first girl you ever slept with?"

"Can we not talk about this?" The conversation had turned in a direction Angel didn’t like whatsoever.

"Why not? Things are finally starting to get good," teased his bleached-blonde college pal.

"You never told me about you and Cordy. You always hated her even from the first day of kindergarten. When did that happen?" Xander questioned. "And why didn’t you tell me before this?" It wasn’t like Angel to keep secrets from him.

‘I am going to kill Spike. Slowly and painfully,’ he vowed. "I didn’t tell you, Xand, because it wasn’t a big deal. We ran into each other at a frat party up at UCLA in November of our senior year. I got drunk and when I woke up next to her I remembered what happened. It only happened once, thank god. End of story yet again."

"Wait a second. November of ’95…that’s when Buffy and Griffin got engaged," Xander recalled.

Angel threw a couple peanuts into his mouth. "Thanks for the reminder. You want the truth? I was so upset when my sister sent me the engagement announcement that I went off the deep end for a while. Happy?"

"Of course I’m not happy. I didn’t realize what you went through when you found out. You pushed yourself away from everyone when you went to college. You could have told me. Or Will, for that matter. We would have understood."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Now you know. And now you know why I never mentioned it. It’s not a period of my life I’m proud of. Buffy had broken my heart for the second time. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let it happen this time around. She’s not going to make it three for three."

"This time?" Spike repeated. "What happened this time?"

"Huh?"

"You said you wouldn’t let it happen this time. Come on, tell us what’s really going on," he prodded.

Angel sighed heavily, knowing he’d have to tell his two best friends everything. There would be no denying anymore. That and he was tired of carrying it around inside. "After the reunion, we went back to my house."

"And?"

"Use your imagination! I’m not going to spell it out for you."

Xander took a sip of his beer upon hearing his friend’s revelation. He had assumed Angel and Buffy cleared the air between them, never for one second thinking anything sexual would actually happen. "You had sex with her? She’s married!"

"I appreciate the reminder, but I know that."

"You go!" Spike cheered.

Angel shook his head at Spike’s reaction. He knew he should have expected it. "I’m so glad you’re proud of me."

"Are you gonna share the details?" the blonde asked.

"It wasn’t really earth-shattering, Spike. She and her husband got into an argument, he left her there and I let her spend the night at my place. We had a long talk and the next thing I know I had her pinned against the wall and she was screaming my name. Is that enough detail for you?"

"Was she any good?"

Clenching his jaw, he glared at Spike. "I am not even going to dignify that with an answer."

Xander didn’t need to be told that something big and unpleasant went down between them after that. "Then what happened?"

"She was going to leave her husband to be with me. Then I got a letter two weeks ago saying that she’d decided to stay with Griffin."

"Sorry, man," Spike apologized, embarrassed by his previous jubilation.

"Forget it, I’m trying to. It’s over between me and Buffy, for good this time. After what she did to me I don’t care if I never lay eyes on her ever again."

***

16

Buffy pulled her car into the driveway, parking it behind her husband’s. With it only being a little past four-thirty, it surprised her to find him home already. Griffin didn’t usually return home from work until five or six.

"Griffin!" she called, placing her purse on the kitchen table after stepping through the back door.

No answer. Furrowing her brow, Buffy called his name again, this time walking toward their bedroom. "Griffin? Where are you?"

"Your office," came his voice.

Shaking her head and laughing softly, Buffy opened the door to her office, located across the hall from their bedroom. She found Griffin sitting behind her desk with an unhappy expression on his face. "You’re home awfully early today. Slow day at work?"

"Something like that."

"This is great. We can have an early dinner, maybe go see a movie or something," Buffy suggested.

After the incident at the reunion Griffin dedicated himself to starting their marriage over again. He courted Buffy just as he had back in college by taking her out to dinners, movies, or simply spending romantic evenings at home. Though still stinging from his treatment of her, Buffy did her best to try to be the woman he married six years earlier. But every time they made love, she found herself unable to keep her thoughts from wandering toward the other man she loved.

Griffin stood up, gripping a piece of paper in his hand. "I don’t see that happening tonight."

"Is something bothering you?" she wanted to know.

"You could say that. Would you care to explain what you’re doing with this?" He held up the paper for her to see.

Buffy sucked in a shocked breath. She immediately recognized the handwriting as her own. ‘4525 Crawford Street. Oh god, how did he find that?’ "I can explain."

"I certainly hope so. I’m assuming the name Angel written underneath the phone number is that of your ex-boyfriend. Am I right?"

"Yes, but–"

"But what?" Griffin demanded.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. "It’s not what you think, Griffin."

"It isn’t? Then why do you have his address and phone number? Are you having an affair with him?"

"Are you out of your mind?" she asked. "I’ve only seen him once since we graduated from high school. Not to mention that he lives fifteen hundred miles away. You’re being paranoid again."

"Why do you have it, then? Are you keeping in touch with him?"

"No."

Griffin approached her, leaving less than a foot of space between them. "You’re lying. I found this buried on the bottom of a pile of papers in your desk drawer. If you weren’t keeping in touch you would have thrown it out. Now tell me the truth!"

"What gives you the right to go through my desk? Those are my personal papers."

"I am your husband and this is my house," he stated simply.

"And what am I, a tenant?" Buffy shot back. "What’s yours is yours and what’s mine is yours? Don’t I have any privacy?"

He crumpled the paper and threw it across the room in a fit of anger. "There is no need for privacy, you should tell me everything."

"Did you fall into a time warp or something? We are not living in the eighteen hundreds. I don’t have to report to you my every move."

"Just tell me what you’re keeping from me," requested Griffin.

"I’m not keeping anything from you." Aggravated, Buffy turned away from him and tried to leave the room.

Blazing with anger, Griffin reached out and grabbed her arm, wrenching her body around to face him. "You fucked him," he accused.

Her heart pounding, Buffy struggled to keep her cool. "What are you talking about?"

"The night of the reunion," he started. "After I left, you spent the night with him. And you finally gave him what he wanted for years. Go ahead, deny it."

"Why should I? You are going to believe what you want to no matter what I say." She didn’t see the point in denying it or admitting to it. The damage was already done.

"You did," he sneered.

"And it was good, too. He was everything you aren’t and so much more. In fact, we did it three times that night; he took me against his bedroom door and twice in his bed. And we didn’t stop until we were spent!" she shouted. "All those years of unresolved sexual tension finally combusted. Are you happy now that you know, Griffin?"

"Yeah right." He recognized her spiteful tone. ‘She’s just trying to get to me. Buffy would never admit to sleeping with that man.’

"Do you want more details? Want to know what Angel did that you would never have the balls to do yourself?"

Griffin didn’t want to hear it, having reached his breaking point. "Shut the hell up!" Lifting his right arm, he struck her left cheek.

"I can’t believe you hit me," Buffy said, touching her fingers to the sensitive skin of her bruised cheek. "You promised me you wouldn’t do it again."

"And I *will* do it again if you open your mouth one more time," he threatened.

"What the hell has gotten into you lately? You aren’t acting like the man I married," she said, holding back the tears she felt burning her eyes. "You’ve changed so much."

Griffin narrowed his eyes. "You don’t like it, Buffy? Leave. Go back to your fuck toy in Sunnydale. Or maybe you have one around here and I just haven’t figured it out yet."

Desperate to get away from his cheating wife, he breezed past her and left the house, slamming the back door behind him.

"You want me gone, Griffin? You got it."

***

Angel was stepping out of the shower when he heard the pounding on his back garden door. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he padded barefoot through the main room to find out who it was. "Coming!" he called. ‘Who the hell could it be? It’s ten o’clock on a Monday night,’ Angel thought.

He pulled back the curtains and turned on the light he’d had installed over the door. When he saw the tiny figure standing on the patio, Angel frowned. "Buffy," he greeted after opening the door. She was the last person he expected to see on his doorstep.

Buffy held her suitcases in her hands. "Can I come in, Angel?"

Stepping aside, Angel allowed her to enter. "What are you doing here?" he asked hotly. "Shouldn’t you be at home with your husband?"

"I left him. Griffin and I are over."

***

17

Angel brought his thumb and pointer finger to the bridge of his nose, rubbing it. As soon as Buffy walked through the door, he developed a pounding headache. "What did you say?"

She put her bags down on the carpeted floor. "I’m leaving my husband."

"Really. Well, congratulations. How long is this going to last? Longer than the last time, I hope. A few days? A week? Maybe even a month?"

His tone cut her like a knife. "I mean it this time. It’s not just a few days, it’s forever."

"Forever? Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it."

"Angel, I packed up as much of my stuff as I could fit in these two suitcases," Buffy explained. "I bought a one-way plane ticket from Wichita to Sunnydale and I left Griffin a note saying that it was over. Why don’t you believe me?"

Angel lifted his eyebrows. "Your track record of late hasn’t been all that convincing. Allow me to prove it to you." He walked over to the fireplace and picked up a wooden box that rested on the shelf above. "I got this letter in the mail a few weeks ago, perhaps you’ll recognize it. ‘My dearest Angel. What I am about to write is the hardest thing I have ever written. I love you; I have for half of my life. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m married. And I love my husband, too. Maybe not in the same way I love you, but it’s still a deeply-rooted love. I can’t turn my back on my marriage, no matter how much trouble it is in. I owe it to my husband to give it a second chance.’"

He looked up at her. "Shall I continue? There’s more."

Buffy shook her head. "No, you don’t have to. I know what I wrote, it haunts me every day. You think I wanted to write that letter? I didn’t. I wanted to stay with you."

"Then why didn’t you?" he demanded between gritted teeth.

"It’s complicated."

He sat down on the couch. "So tell me. It is ten o’clock on a Monday night. I don’t have anywhere else to be."

"Don’t you want to get dressed?" She pointed to the white towel wrapped around his lean waist and the droplets of water dripping down his chest.

"You’ve seen me in less as I recall," he responded shortly.

"I’m sorry, I really am," she apologized. "And you have every reason in the world to be angry with me. I wouldn’t blame you for hating me, Angel. Not one bit."

Angel sighed, chewing on his lower lip. "I’ve told you this before, Buffy. I don’t hate you. But the choices you’ve made recently have confused the hell out of me. Considering it’s my life you are screwing with, I think I deserve an explanation. Are you going to give me one?"

Nodding, Buffy sat down on the reclining chair to the right of the couch. "Yes. I-I left you that night so I could face my husband alone. You would have tried to stop me or tried to go with me. Don’t deny it, I know you too well. Ending my marriage to Griffin was something I needed to do all on my own. So I took a bus back to Wichita and walked into my house with every intention of telling Griffin it was over."

"What changed your mind?"

"I looked into my husband’s eyes and I saw the hurt in them. He would never have cheated on me like I had on him. I behaved irrationally and he didn’t deserve that. Okay, so maybe he did, but that doesn’t make it right. He apologized, swore up and down that he acted like a child and would never let it happen again. We tried to start our marriage over again with a clean slate. I owed it to him for all the good years we had together."

"The four years with me meant nothing, right?" he questioned.

"You don’t understand. Griffin’s my husband; you’re not." ‘Nice argument, Buffy. Why don’t you just take a chainsaw to his heart.’

"But I wanted to be!" Angel yelled. "You make it sound like I left you. You said no when I proposed to you."

"You did leave me! You took off without letting me explain why I said no. I spent three days in my bedroom crying because you walked away, and by the time I was ready to face the world you had left town. I walked over to your house and your mother told me you drove off to parts unknown. Angel, I never wanted things to end like that; god, I never wanted things to end with you at all! I loved you, I wanted to spend my life with you. God help me, I still do."

Angel stood up. "You have a very funny way of showing it, Buffy."

"I know that; I know how much I must have hurt you by saying no all those years ago, and then when I left after the reunion. And I have apologized for that over and over again. It’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. What more do you want from me?" she wanted to know.

"I don’t know. I was all ready to leave that chapter of my life behind me but you showed up at my door tonight. You keep running in and out of my life and I can’t keep track of what you want anymore. One minute you want to be with me, the next minute you don’t. Actually, I do know what I want from you. I want you to make up your mind," Angel stated. "You have to choose between your husband and me."

"I made up my mind, I know who I want to be with. And it’s you."

"Until you remember your husband tomorrow morning."

Buffy shook her head. She knew it wouldn’t be easy to make Angel believe her, given the events of the past few weeks. "I left Griffin. He lied to me. You never did that."

"What did he lie about?"

"Remember how I told you he’d never hit me before the night of the reunion? Well, he promised it would never happen again. He kept his word until this afternoon when he slapped me again. He found your phone number and address in my desk and flew off the handle. I refuse to be anyone’s punching bag."

"Oh. So you came running to me for protection?"

"Dammit, Angel, I love you!"

"I love you, too. But that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like you have been."

"I made a huge mistake and it hurt you, I get that. But I want to be with you. If I could turn back the clock to the day you proposed to me, I’d say yes. I was young and foolish. I didn’t know what a good thing I had until it was gone."

Angel took a deep breath. "I want to be with you. Unfortunately, I can’t be right now."

"Why not?"

"I’ll let you stay here, but nothing will happen between us while you are still married. When you divorce Griffin, I will be here, ready and willing to give our relationship a second chance. But only if you’re legally divorced," Angel told her.

"I’m not divorcing him."

"Buffy–"

"I am asking Griffin for an annulment. That way the marriage will never have existed and I’ll be free to marry the man I love. I want to marry you in front of our family and friends, and in the eyes of God. And it will happen, come hell or high water."

***

18

Sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper, Angel heard the spare bedroom door open at ten o’clock. He’d been up for three hours already, a habit he found hard to break over the summer months. Throughout his entire life Angel had been an early riser.

Buffy trudged into the room after fixing her hair and brushing her teeth. "Morning," she greeted with an exaggerated yawn.

"Morning." He eyed her choice of bedtime apparel: a white tank top and plaid green boxer shorts. She’d worn the same thing when they were in high school. ‘At least it’s not something out of the Victoria’s Secret catalog.’ "How did you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess. Comfy bed, but I’d forgotten how sticky the air gets in California at night. You should really invest in an air conditioner."

"I’ll put it on the top of my to-do list," Angel replied sarcastically, putting a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. "Do you want something to eat?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. What do you have?"

"Cereal, eggs, toast and I think there might be some frozen hash brown patties in the freezer, but they are probably freezer burnt. The last time I remember eating one was back in 2000."

"I think I’ll stay away from them, then." Buffy walked over to the refrigerator, laughing at what she found inside. "Eggs, cheese, milk and a bottle of red wine…when was the last time you went grocery shopping?"

"Awhile. I wasn’t exactly expecting company or else I would have stocked up on the five basic food groups."

"I didn’t mean it like that," she responded defensively.

"I know, and I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did. Let’s just say it’s been quite some time since I did any grocery shopping. I’m more of a fast food kind of guy."

She prepared herself a bowl of Cocoa Krispies. "What you need around here is a woman’s touch. Someone to make you good meals. Healthy meals."

"Dru tried and failed. Believe me, she tried."

"Who’s Dru?"

"My ex-girlfriend. We met in graduate school and both got jobs working at Sunnydale High. We broke up a few years ago."

Buffy nodded in understanding. "Oh. Are those her clothes in the closet?" She recalled the nightgown she’d worn the night of the reunion and assumed it belonged to his ex.

"Yeah. She and I broke up about six months before I moved in here, but she stayed in that room for a few weeks while her house was being remodeled. We kinda started seeing each other again but it didn’t work out. I never got around to giving her back her clothes after it happened, and she never asked for them back," Angel explained.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

"Mutual parting of ways. We just wanted different things out of life. Drusilla wanted to settle down and get married and I didn’t want to. I couldn’t see her as the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. In all honesty, it was because she wasn’t you."

Buffy didn’t know what to say. After listening to him speak, she suddenly felt an enormous amount of guilt over marrying Griffin. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish I had never–"

The sound of pounding at the door interrupted her before she could finish. Angel narrowed his eyes at the disruption; he wasn’t expecting company. Everyone he knew was at work except for his parents, and they rarely ever visited so early in the day. "Wait right here, Buffy. I’ll be back in a minute."

He got up to answer the door. Just as he had the night before, Angel pulled back the curtains to see who stood on the other side. "You’ve got to be kidding me," he mumbled. With a heavy sigh he opened the glass door. "What the hell do *you* want?"

Looking as if he hadn’t slept all night, Griffin Montgomery darkened his blue eyes. "Where’s my wife, Brennan?"

"I don’t know. Did you misplace her? Leave her someplace after a fit of rage?" Angel retorted. "That seems to be your M.O.."

"Go to hell. Where is she?"

"You expect me to know? Buffy’s your wife, not mine. It’s not my problem you can’t keep track of her."

Griffin shook with anger. He was in no mood to play games with his wife’s ex-boyfriend. "She left me, okay? Now tell me where the hell she is, dammit!"

"After the way you treated her, I don’t blame her one bit for leaving you. Let me guess, you lost your temper yet again and used her to get your aggressions out," Angel taunted. "A wife is not a punching bag."

He ignored Angel’s remark. "I’ve called all of her friends and no one has seen or heard from Buffy. Angel, you’re my last hope or I wouldn’t even be here."

"How did you even get this address? It’s not listed."

"She had it written down. Now stop fucking with me and bring her to me," Griffin ordered.

"Well, gee, since you put it so nicely…no! Even if I did know where she was, I wouldn’t tell you if my life depended on it," he said with a smirk. "I’ve seen the way you treat her, and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. Now get off my property before I call the police."

"Do you mind if I take a look around first?" Griffin requested, taking a step through the partially opened door.

Angel opened the door a few inches wider, then slammed it against the other man’s face as he tried to walk through. Griffin stumbled backward and held his hands to his bleeding nose. "Gee, I guess I do mind."

"I think you broke my nose! I’m pressing charges," the injured man threatened.

"Go ahead, I’ll press my own," Angel countered. "Trespassing, forced entry and I’m sure there are a few others I’m forgetting. That assault charge will be thrown out faster than you can even exhale. I also have friends on the force who’ll make the charges against you stick like super glue. Take my advice, get out of Sunnydale before they find you."

"Can you at least give Buffy a message for me?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe. What’s the message?"

"I’m staying at the Sunnydale Motel, room 403. Have her meet me at three o’clock in my room so we can talk."

"No. The only place you’ll be meeting her is in a public area, if she were even to agree to it. God only knows what you’ll do to her if you are alone."

Griffin rolled his eyes. "Fine. There’s a park across the street from the motel. She and I can meet there. Is that public enough for you?"

"It’s perfect. Now leave."

"Will you give her the message?"

"If I talk to her. Maybe."

Angel slammed the door shut and closed the curtains to keep the man from looking inside. When he returned to the kitchen he found Buffy standing by the sink with her head in her hands. "He’s gone," he told her.

She looked up, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "I should have known he’d find me. Thank you for not telling him I’m here. The last thing I want to do is see him right now."

"He wants to meet with you today at three."

"I know. I heard everything you two said."

Angel placed his palm under her chin, lifting her head so that she looked him in the eye. He wanted so badly to kiss her and make all her pain go away, but knew it would only complicate things; he had to remind himself that their relationship would have to be strictly platonic until her annulment was finalized. "You don’t have to see him if you don’t feel up to it."

Buffy shook her head. "I may not be ready now, but by three o’clock I’ll have plenty to say to him." She sniffled. "How hard did you slam that door? I heard his nose crack from all the way back here."

"Hard enough to make him bleed," he replied with a satisfied smile. "But I don’t think it’s broken."

"Too bad. It would have served the bastard right. And I would have loved to see it."

***

19

"Okay…Right…Got it. Are you sure about this? Is that even legal?" Angel asked over the phone. "All right, I’ll tell her. Thanks, Spike. See you later this week. Bye."

Once he’d hung up the phone, Buffy looked at Angel with suspicion in her eyes. "Your lawyer’s name is Spike? Where did you find him?"

"Spike is his nickname. His real name is William Roberts," he informed her. "And he’s an old friend from college. We dormed together freshman year and have been good friends ever since."

She nodded. "Oh. Well, what did he have to say? And is what legal?"

"First of all, you have a consultation with him tomorrow at noon. He’ll go over everything you need to know about getting your marriage annulled. Also, he doesn’t advise that you see Griffin this afternoon; he thinks it’ll be easier on you if you let him deal with it."

Buffy shook her head in disagreement. "I need to do this. I have to face Griffin sooner or later. And I’d rather it be sooner."

"That’s what I figured. Spike understands that he can’t stop you from going, but if you are going to see him you might as well use it to your advantage. He suggested that you keep a tape recorder in your purse and record your meeting."

She scrunched up her nose. "Is that legal?"

Angel smiled at her question, given that he had asked the same thing. "According to him, it is. You can use it as a bargaining chip if he says something incriminating. In case he wants to contest the annulment or something of that nature."

"Do you think he will contest it?"

"I wish I knew, Buffy. But Spike doesn’t think he will. A divorce means alimony and given the circumstances…"

"But what about the fact that I cheated on him?" she questioned. "He could use that against me."

"Griffin doesn’t have to know about that. He can make accusations, but as long as he can’t prove it, it’s your word against his. The battered wife versus the abusive husband. Spike guarantees you the annulment; Griffin won’t have any choice but to give it to you."

She exhaled the breath she’d been holding. "Are you coming with me to the park?"

He shook his head. "No. Me being there will only complicate things for you. Besides, I’ve got some grocery shopping to do."

***

By the time three-ten rolled around, Griffin had just about given up hope that Buffy would show for their meeting. He’d been sitting on the park bench for twenty minutes waiting for her, and she was ten minutes late. It crossed his mind that Angel didn’t give her the message, but didn’t see him as the type to do such a thing.

"Didn’t expect me to show up, did you?" a voice from behind him asked.

He turned around and saw his wife standing a foot away. Her face wore an unreadable expression, and he knew he had his work cut out for him if he was going to convince her to return home with him. "I wasn’t sure, to be completely honest."

"Well, I had my doubts about coming." Buffy made her way around to the side of the bench and sat down next to him. "But it’s something I knew I had to do."

"Let me say what I have to say," Griffin began. "Buffy, I am so sorry for what I did. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do. You’re my entire life and I love you more than anything in the world. And I screwed up big time."

"You certainly got that right."

Griffin took her hand and grasped it tightly. "I want to make it up to you."

"It’s too late for that."

"No, no it can’t be. I made one little mistake and you want to throw away all our years together?"

Buffy gaped at her husband, unable to believe what he’d just said. "One little mistake? We’ve been over this before, Griffin. Hitting me isn’t simply a little mistake. How can I ever be able to trust you? Now I know that I can’t. I let it go once, but never again. It’s over."

"Whatever happened to second chances?" he demanded.

"I gave you one and you messed it up. I won’t give you a second second chance; some things cannot be forgiven."

‘No. This can’t be happening.’ "I’ll do anything if you’ll take me back. You can work, talk to any of your old high school and college friends, I’ll even let you have a baby if it’s that important to you."

Something inside of Buffy snapped with his last statement. "You’ll let me? You’ll *let* me? Excuse me, but whose life is this? You don’t get to decide when I have a child. I do. And as of right now, you are the last man on earth I would want to raise a child with."

"Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that."

"Yeah you did," she said with a smirk. "Nothing you can say or do or even promise me will convince me to take you back."

"What exactly do you plan on doing?" Griffin wanted to know.

"I have a consultation with a lawyer tomorrow. I want an annulment. The marriage is over. I want nothing more to do with you. As far as I’m concerned, this marriage never happened."

He shook his head. "You can’t mean that."

"I can and I do. The next time we talk will be through our lawyers." Buffy stood up to leave. "You’ll be hearing from mine shortly."

Griffin grabbed her forcefully. "It won’t happen, Buffy. If you think I’ll let you walk away from me, you are sadly mistaken."

"You don’t have a choice in the matter. You either agree to the annulment or I sue for divorce. Considering that you slapped me twice, I have enough evidence to get a hefty settlement. Give it up, Griffin, it’s over."

"What are you going to do now? Shack up with your ex-boyfriend slash lover?" he shouted angrily.

"What I do with my personal life from this point on is none of your business. Angel is a good friend, he cares about me and what I want. And that’s more than I can say for you," she shot back.

"How can you throw away nine happy years?"

She yanked herself from his grasp. "How can you live with yourself after treating me the way you have? Just give me the annulment. If you ever loved me you’ll let me be happy."

"Is this what you want, or what Angel wants?"

"It’s what I want. Will you do it?"

"I’ll give it consideration. That’s the best I can do right now," he answered. "But you should know I’m not ready for this to be over. We can work through this."

Buffy pulled a piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to him. "No, we can’t. This is my attorney’s phone number. His name is William Roberts. Call him when you have an answer; don’t call me or go near Angel. He might actually break your nose next time. And I wouldn’t put it past him."

***

20

"Dinner was great, Angel," Buffy complimented later that evening. "I can’t get over what a good cook you are."

He shrugged his shoulders as he washed a plate in the sink. "I’m not a good cook, I’m just really good at following the directions on the back of the box."

Buffy laughed, taking the plate out of his hand so she could dry it. Their hands touched, and she felt a surge of electricity shoot through her body. Quickly, she moved her hand away. "Well, you’re better off than I am. The only thing I excel at is making reservations."

"I think you’re being too hard on yourself," Angel admonished. "Didn’t you tell me that Griffin wanted you home to make dinner every night?"

"He did want me home, but that doesn’t mean I was any good at it. I can make simple things, like spaghetti, and chicken, and macaroni and cheese. Other than that, it’s take-out or dine in."

He handed her a glass to dry. "Still love Chinese food?"

"Oh yeah. Orange chicken, mixed vegetables, rice…you’re making me hungry again! It has been so long since I’ve had a good Chinese dinner. Griffin can’t stand it, though, so we never went out for it. The best place in Sunnydale for Chinese was–"

"Tai Pei," Angel interrupted.

"Yep. *Please* tell me it’s still around."

"And still going strong. They relocated near the high school last year, so I stop by at least once a week during my free period."

Tossing the towel on the counter, Buffy turned around and leaned her back against it, resting her elbows on the Formica tiles. "You as a teacher. It’s a shock and yet it’s not."

"How so?"

"I don’t know. Back in high school you were so smart; hell, you’re the only reason I even graduated. When we first started hanging out after I moved here, I pictured you as a brainy professor-type. But that was before I got to know you. I suppose I figured you’d end up as a doctor and not a teacher."

"A brainy professor-type?" Angel laughed with raised eyebrows. "Thanks, I think."

"You know what I mean. Although I’m sure your female students are happy you chose teaching as your profession."

He didn’t quite know how to take her last statement. "Meaning…?"

"Come on, Angel. You can’t honestly tell me you don’t know how good-looking you are. I’m willing to bet that a lot of your female students purposely stay after school for additional help. Am I right?"

"Well, I do offer review classes."

"And what’s the ratio of girls to boys? Truthfully."

After thinking for several moments, Angel replied, "Two to one."

"I knew it. Those girls only stay after so you can be their eye candy. Take it from a girl who used to do the same thing when she was their age."

"What teacher did you gawk at back then? And why didn’t I know about it?" he questioned playfully.

She had to smile at his naïveté. "It was you, silly. Remember the day Larry Munson gave you that black eye because I told him we were going to Homecoming together? I didn’t really need help on my Math homework. I just waned to be near you. And I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"I never knew that."

"You do now. And now that you know about all those female students of yours, do I have to beat them off with a stick if they try anything smart?"

Angel chuckled. "I think we’ve still got plenty of time before we need to worry about that happening."

"Oh." Her tone didn’t hide her disappointment. ‘I guess it will be quite a while before Angel lets me back into his life.’

He could sense what was going through Buffy’s mind. "School doesn’t start for another two months. The only girls you need to be worried about are the ones on the softball team I coach. But they are absolutely no threat. You are the only girl I have eyes for. Or designs on."

***

At five minutes to ten, Buffy and Angel sat on his couch, relaxing and watching television. "I don’t get it," she started. "How can you watch this stuff?"

"It’s entertainment."

"Still…it’s not reality-based. And it’s not like you don’t know what happens to these characters in the future. Clark becomes Superman and falls in love with Lois Lane. Lana ends up with a kid that isn’t Clark’s, Lex becomes a supervillain, and who cares what happens to Chloe and Whitney. Do I even need to mention that the woman who plays Clark’s mother played Lana in one of the Superman movies? And don’t you find it the least bit humorous that Bo Duke is Clark’s father?"

Angel sighed. "Buffy, it’s a television show. The reason I like it so much is because I know what happens to them. I know Clark and Lana won’t end up together. I don’t like those shows where you fall in love with a couple and you wait seven years for them to finally get together, only to have them end up on separate shows with no chance in hell of ever being truly happy. Why should I waste my energy?"

"Are you done with your rant?"

"Yes."

"Good. No offense, but you need a life."

Before Angel had a chance to respond, the telephone rang. Reaching over, he picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hello, Peaches."

Groaning at the voice he recognized, Angel shook his head. "Hi, Spike. What’s going on? Are you at Willie’s Bar and had your car keys stolen again?"

"Very funny, mate. That only happened once, thank you very much. This is a business call for your girl. Is she still there?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, hold on." Angel passed the phone to Buffy. "It’s for you. It’s Spike, so I assume it has something to do with the annulment."

She put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Buffy. This is Spike Roberts, your attorney. Sorry for calling so late; I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important."

"Not at all. Is something wrong?"

"Quite the contrary. I am calling with very good news, in fact. I just got off the phone with Griffin Montgomery. It seems your meeting this afternoon went exceptionally well. He agreed to the annulment," Spike told her. "He called me half an hour ago."

Her green eyes opened as wide as saucers. "You’re kidding."

"I’m not. With his full cooperation, your marriage should be dissolved by the end of September at the latest. Congratulations, Buffy. We’ll go over more of the details when we meet tomorrow. I just had to call and tell you."

"Thank you so much."

"You’re welcome."

They said their goodbyes and Buffy turned off the phone. She saw Angel’s expectant look and grinned at him. "Griffin agreed to the annulment."

"That’s great news. I’m happy for you."

The two embraced over the unexpected news; they were one step closer to being together. "Thank you, Angel," Buffy whispered in his ear.

"What for?"

"For being here. For giving me the strength to leave an unhappy marriage. And for loving me."

They faced each other and stared in one anothers’ eyes for several seconds before moving their heads closer together. Their lips met in a soft kiss that surprised both of them, but neither pulled away from it. Both of them wanted it, both of them needed it. They’d been dancing around it since Buffy arrived on his doorstep, though they did nothing about it. Now they couldn’t stop fate from following its course.

Buffy wound her arms around his back, feeling the muscles contract as their kiss deepened. Her body was pressed against his, her soft one contrasting to his hard one. While their tongues danced with frenzy, their hands roamed, seeking out new treasures to discover. They throbbed for one another; Buffy ached for his touch in a way she had for no other. Even in high school, her desire for him hadn’t been this strong.

Angel did his best to ignore the tiny voice in his head that told him to stop. All he wanted to do was kiss her, touch her, feel her as if it were for the first and last time. He wanted to love her, to take her in every room of the mansion, to make love to her the way he had planned to ten years earlier. But it had to be perfect; and groping like teenagers on his living room couch wasn’t the perfection he craved. The night of the reunion had been frantic and rushed. Their "true" first time would begin as something much more romantic.

"Buffy, stop," he said, pulling her hands from under his shirt. "We can’t do this. Not right now."

She gazed at him with confusion written all over her face. "What are you talking about? I want you and it’s fairly obvious you want me. What’s the big problem?"

"You’re still married."

"Not for long."

"I can’t be with you like that until you’re not married anymore. I’m sorry," Angel apologized. "This – us – has to be platonic until Griffin is out of the picture forever."

Buffy groaned in frustration; she’d never met anyone as stubborn as Angel Brennan. "Angel, that could be months from now. Do you really want to wait that long? I know I don’t. How about we compromise. After I sign the first set of papers for the annulment, we celebrate by Making love. Can you agree to that? As a sign of faith that I have every intention of leaving Griffin."

Even though his better judgment told him to say no, Angel’s hormones took over. "Okay. But no sooner."

"Can we at least make out a little until then?"

He laughed at her suggestion. "I don’t know…I seem to have a hard time keeping my hands off of you."

"No complaints here," she said, pushing his head towards hers for another kiss.

***

21

Friday night, Buffy greeted Angel with a smile when he returned home from softball practice. He was dirty and she thought he looked drained. "Hey, you. How was practice?" she asked.

He groaned and slumped down onto the couch. His arms fell to his sides like strands of spaghetti, his legs felt like rubber bands and he could hardly breathe. "I’m gonna die. I’m way too old for this."

"How come? You told me the girls are good players."

"They usually are. Apparently today was an off-day for them. I’ve never had to run for so many stray balls in the two years I’ve been coaching."

"Aww, poor baby." She walked around to the back of the couch and proceeded to rub Angel’s shoulders. The muscles felt tense under her fingers; she did her best to loosen them up.

He closed his eyes, letting the feeling of Buffy massaging his shoulders take him over. It had been years since he’d felt so calm and relaxed. "Hmm…that feels so good. Where on earth did you learn to do that?"

"Do what? Massage? It’s not hard to do. And you are so tense, Angel."

"I know. I have a lot of stress in my life. Which is sad considering it’s the beginning of summer vacation."

She leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Then let’s make tonight as stress-free as possible."

The sultry tone of her voice heated his blood, made his heart pound and aroused him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and pleaded with his body to behave. "Buffy…"

Unbeknownst to him, she smiled slyly behind his back. "Yes, Angel?" she innocently asked.

‘Down, boy,’ he told himself. "Nothing. So, um, what exactly did you do today?" Angel wanted to change the subject, removing any sexual undertones.

"Well, I had a meeting with your friend Spike at three-thirty, went out to dinner with Willow and Tara, then I did some shopping at the mall. It was fairly boring. Not nearly as exciting as your day, apparently. Or as tiring."

"Seventeen- and eighteen-year-old girls will drain all your energy."

Buffy laughed, continuing to rub him. "Did I drain your energy when I was that age?"

"Yes. I spent most of my energy trying to keep you from getting expelled from high school. But I was ten years younger and totally in love with you. I’d have done anything for you back then," Angel explained.

"What about now?"

"Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in love with you, but I’ve since put limits on what I’ll do for you. Or anyone, for that matter. I am older and wiser. And I get tired more easily."

She agreed wholeheartedly. "We both are. And we both do."

"My father called this afternoon while you were out. Alexis and her family are coming down to visit this weekend and there is a picnic at the house on Sunday afternoon. We’re invited."

Her face paled. "We? Your parents know I’m back in town? What did they say about me?"

"Don’t worry, Buffy, they don’t know you’re in Sunnydale again. They did tell me to bring a date if I want to, so I’m going to bring you."

"Thank god they don’t know about us." She sighed with relief. If Mr. and Mrs. Brennan found out what happened after the reunion, she’d never be able to face them.

"My dad knows."

Buffy stopped what she was doing from the shock of Angel’s words. "What? Your father knows? That’s it, Angel, I’m humiliated! I can’t go to this thing on Sunday. I’ll never be able to deal with their horrible thoughts of me. I loved your parents like they were my own and–"

"It’s okay. He doesn’t know everything," Angel interrupted her.

"Huh?"

"Dad only knows that I had an affair with a married woman. He doesn’t know it’s you. And as far as I’m concerned, it isn’t any of their business. You’re getting an annulment, and when it’s completed we’ll be together. End of story."

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her chin on the top of his head. "You mean that? Really mean it?"

"Yes, I do. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to take a long, hot shower and wash some of this dirt off my body."

***

After his relaxing shower, Angel felt refreshed. The hot water relieved his sore muscles and soothed his nerves. He had no idea how his parents survived his and Alexis’ teen years. Granted, he’d been more of a homebody compared to his older sister, but he hadn’t been easy to live with. Angel wondered how he’d handle parenthood, should the time ever come.

When he opened the bathroom door, he immediately smelled smoke. "Buffy? Is something burning?" he called.

"I lit a few candles," she replied.

"A few? The smoke alarm is gonna go off any minute." Turning off the bathroom light, he stepped into the hallway. "Where are you?"

"In your room."

Angel walked down the hall to his bedroom, the stench of the smoke becoming stronger with every step he took. Once inside his room, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him: Buffy lying on his bed, clad only in a sexy black negligee. He needed to blink several times to make certain his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. On every flat surface sat a burning candle, which brought the only light to the otherwise-darkened room.

"B-Buffy," he stuttered.

"You like?" she questioned.

He shook his head in confusion. "I don’t get it. What’s all this for?"

"You told me on Tuesday that you and I wouldn’t be intimate until I began annulment proceedings. Well, I signed the initial paperwork this afternoon and Griffin will be served on Monday morning," Buffy told him. She handed him a piece of paper. "For proof. See? That’s my signature at the bottom."

Angel looked it over. "You’re serious."

"Of course I am. You thought I was just fooling around?"

"No, but…"

"Look, I don’t know why I married Griffin when you were the one I truly wanted to be with. Angel, it was your face I saw when I recited my wedding vows to him. I’m putting the past behind me and beginning my future with you. This is just the first step."

She got off the bed and slithered over to where Angel stood. Taking his hands in hers, she led him to the bed, pushed him into a sitting position at the edge of it and straddled him with her knees. "You never answered my question. Do you like my outfit?"

"It’ll look better on the floor," he answered. "Where’d you get it?"

"I told you, I went shopping today. My credit card got quite a workout at Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood." She licked her lips. "What do you say we work on getting this thing on the floor?"

Buffy captured Angel’s lips with hers, running her fingers through his damp hair. She moaned in his mouth when she felt his gentle hands making their way up her legs, over her thighs and finally underneath her silk negligee. His fingers danced over her skin, causing her to break out in goosebumps. All he had done was touch her and already her body was on fire with want.

Angel saw how her hardened nipples pushed against the thin material of her garment and, smiling to himself, he lifted his hands to her breasts to pay them their rightful attention. He ran the pads of his thumbs across the pebbles, feeling Buffy shudder from his touch. Their lips were still fused together, their tongues dancing erotically and their hearts were pounding uncontrollably. He dropped his left hand to her thighs, running a single finger along her center, feeling the moisture pooling there, waiting to aid in his entrance.

In one swift motion, he lowered his right hand, grabbed the hem of the flimsy nightgown and lifted it over Buffy’s head. Instead of bringing his lips to hers again, he suckled on her neck, finding her pulse point. Buffy closed her eyes and simply let him do what he wanted. Even thought they’d only been together a handful of times, she trusted him completely. He’d always known what she liked.

He lowered his head, kissing a line from her neck to her breasts, nibbling on one nipple while fondling her neglected breast with his hand. Through her haze of desire, Buffy managed to regain control over her body and brought her right hand to Angel’s boxer shorts. She could feel his erection straining its tight confines. Slipping her hand between the buttons, she stroked him.

Angel never expected her to do that; it had been ten years since he’d felt her hands on him there. Her mere touch sent him to the edge, and he knew he’d have to enter her soon or he would explode. She wrapped her long fingers around his member and ran them up and down from base to tip. With her left hand, she unbuttoned the only garment he wore.

He raised himself off the bed high enough for her to remove his boxers and then rolled them over so that he was on top. Continuing to suck on her nipples, alternating from one to the other, Angel used one arm to hold his weight. With his free one, he found her wet center and inserted his pointer finger. He rubbed his thumb along her swollen bud until he heard her climax beneath him. She spread her legs wider, giving him easier access to her core as he slid his middle finger inside. Wiggling them around, he felt her inner walls clamp around them as she orgasmed for the second time.

Angel found himself unprepared when Buffy flipped him over and grinned down at him. Her face was red, her chest heaved and sweat glistened over her skin. She sat on his thighs, sitting so that his penis touched her clit gently. Without a word, she brought her hand to it, running her fingernails along the skin. He moaned, fighting to keep control. And he all but lost it completely when she flicked her tongue across the tip.

Leaning forward, Buffy placed her hands on his chest, climbed on her knees and lowered herself onto him. She took all of him at once, but remained unmoving once he was inside. Slowly, she began to move her hips in a circular motion. Angel put his hands on them to help her, but when he bucked himself up to thrust deeper inside, she held him down. It was a signal to him that she was in charge.

She tried desperately to find her G-spot but seemed unable to do so. "Angel, please…" she moaned.

With his right hand, he found her clit and tenderly pinched it, successfully sending her over the edge. In the throes of her orgasm, he flipped them over and thrust into her repeatedly. Buffy wrapped her long legs around his waist and let Angel take over. Within a matter of minutes she reached two more peaks and Angel approached his. She clutched him tightly as he wildly thrust himself home, kissing him passionately when his hot seed shot through her.

"Sorry it wasn’t the romantic setting you had in mind for us," she apologized, stretching her tired body along the length of him once their lovemaking ended.

"It was perfect. You were quite…aggressive," Angel commented. "I don’t remember you ever being like that."

"Yeah well, Griffin always wanted to be in charge when we did it. I wanted to see what it felt like to be in control for a change."

"And?"

She planted a kiss on his cheek. "It felt brazen and wanton. And absolutely wonderful."

"It was all of the above. I loved every second of it. You can take charge anytime you like. And you know what? I’m glad we didn’t wait until the annulment was completed. I don’t think I could have waited that long to be with you again."

"Same here. I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. That took a lot out of me," Buffy said.

"Me, too."

***

22

Sunday afternoon rolled around much too quickly for Buffy. After spending Friday night and most of Saturday morning in bed with Angel, she felt as if she could conquer the world. But as soon as she woke up on Sunday, a sense of dread filled her. She was going to be re-introduced to his family as the woman in his life, and she feared their reaction given the circumstances of their breakup ten years earlier. Would Angel’s parents hold her responsible for him leaving only days after graduation? Would they blame her for his unhappiness that first year of college? Or would they simply slam the door in her face?

Angel walked into the room he’d converted into an office, finding Buffy staring at the computer monitor. "I was wondering where you went to."

"I wanted to start working on my column for next week. I promised Beth I’d fax a copy to her by tomorrow afternoon so it’ll be ready for Thursday’s edition," she told him.

"You know, we never really talked about what you’ll do about your writing once you finalize the move out here," he said.

She nodded, agreeing with him. "I know we haven’t. Angel, I love my job and I don’t want to quit."

"You know I’d never ask you to do that. But don’t you think it’ll be difficult to write for the Wichita Press when you live in Sunnydale, California?"

"I don’t think so. My weekly column is about life. No necessarily about my life, but how I see things and the world around me. I have a pretty loyal fan base and I’m sure they’ll love reading about life in Sunnydale."

"For your opening line you can tell them there isn’t any corn," Angel suggested.

Buffy groaned at him. "That is such a big misconception. Kansas is not the corn state, Nebraska is. I thought you passed History and Geography."

"I did. But that was over a decade ago. I’m lucky I remembered that Kansas is one of the ones in the middle."

"Very astute of you." She stood up and smirked at him.

"Are you ready to go? We were supposed to be at my parents’ house twenty minutes ago," he told her.

Her face fell and her heart pounded with nervousness. "Maybe you’d better go without me. I’ve got a lot of work to do if I’m going to have this article written by tomorrow afternoon. I still have to write the first draft, edit, revise, proofread…"

"Forget it, Buffy. Nice try, but you’re still coming with me."

"I can’t. I-I’m not dressed for it."

Angel took a hold of her hand, rubbing it reassuringly. "What you’re wearing is fine; it’s not a black tie event. Now let’s go."

Swallowing her pride, Buffy nodded slowly. "Okay. But I’m scared."

"Don’t be scared. They loved you ten years ago and they’ll love you again today."

***

When the doorbell rang at quarter to three, Margaret Brennan practically jumped from her position on the couch to answer it. "That must be Angel and his date. I wonder who he brought with him."

"Has he been seeing anyone recently? I know he hasn’t been doing much dating since he and Drusilla broke up," Alexis commented.

"Not that I know of. I’m just happy he’s putting himself out there again." She walked over to the front door and opened it, seeing her only son standing on the other side. "Hiya, honey. I thought you were going to be here half an hour ago."

"Sorry," Angel apologized. "We were running a bit behind."

"Who is your date? We’ve been sitting here in suspense since Friday afternoon."

Angel smiled at his mother and moved to the left to reveal his date. "I think you already know her."

Mrs. Brennan stood with a shocked expression on her face when she saw the blonde woman standing at the door. "Oh my lord. Buffy Summers."

"Hi, Mrs. Brennan. It’s nice to see you after so many years," Buffy greeted.

"Same here. Please, come in." After Buffy entered, Mrs. Brennan grabbed her son’s arm as he was walking through the door. "Angel? Care to explain?"

He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. "I will. Don’t worry, I’m not setting myself up for a fall. I know what I’m doing, Mom."

"Who’s that?" five-year-old Steven asked, pointing at Buffy.

"That, Steven, is my girlfriend," Angel answered his nephew. "Her name is Buffy."

‘Hell hath frozen over,’ Alexis thought. ‘Buffy Summers is back.’

Edward Brennan got off his chair and ran over to hug the young woman. He’d always thought of her as a second daughter, and knew she thought of him as the father she never had during the four years she and Angel dated. "Buffy. You look lovely."

"Thank you. You look great yourself."

"You and Angel are seeing each other again?" he asked.

Mr. Brennan’s questions seemed to put her at ease. She knew he wasn’t trying to pry and was genuinely happy to see her; she didn’t get that feeling from Angel’s mother or sister. "You could say that. We reconnected at the reunion a few weeks ago and I’m in the process of moving back here."

The tall, dark-haired man sitting next to Alexis stood up and extended his arm toward her. "We haven’t met before, but I’ve seen pictures of you. I’m Brad Nelson, Alexis’ husband."

Buffy shook his hand. "It’s a pleasure to meet you. Angel’s told me a little bit about you."

"Speaking of husbands," Alexis began, speaking for the first time since her brother arrived, "don’t you have one?"

"Lexie…" Angel warned.

"Yes, I do. We’re separated at the moment and I have filed for an annulment. Griffin isn’t the same man I married six years ago. Shortly after the reunion I realized how much I still love Angel and how unhappy my marriage was. I made a mistake and now I’m fixing it."

Sensing a bit of underlying hostility between Alexis and Buffy, Mr. Brennan thought it best to change the subject. "It’s a beautiful day outside. Why don’t we all sit in the backyard," he suggested.

***

"Angel, I need your help with the hot dogs and hamburgers," his father said to him shortly before dinner was to be served.

Angel got up, heading to the grill where his father stood preparing the family’s meal. "No problem. What do you need me to help with?"

"Nothing really. I just wanted to talk to you in private."

Rolling his eyes, he flipped a hamburger. "Let me take a wild guess here. You want to talk to me about Buffy. Well, get in line behind Mom and Lexie." Angel glanced back at the other family members, seeing Steven sitting on Buffy’s lap. "It looks like Steven’s taken a liking to her. Did you hear him ask if he should call her Aunt Buffy? I thought Lexie’s eyes would fall out of their sockets." "She’s the one, isn’t she, Angel?" Mr. Brennan started. "Buffy is your married woman."

"What?"

"You heard me. I can put two and two together. You told me you slept with a married woman a few weeks back, now out of the blue Buffy Summers is back in your life. And she’s separated from her husband, no less."

Angel sighed. "Yes. It was her. It happened after the reunion. She and her husband got into an argument and he left here there. I offered to let her spend the night in one of my spare rooms. It wasn’t something I planned; we got to talking, one thing led to another and we slept together. Buffy told me she was leaving her husband, but she sent me a letter a few days later telling me she’d decided to give him a second chance. I figured that was the end of it until she showed up at my door Monday night."

"I don’t mean to sound harsh, but what makes you think she will stay this time?" Mr. Brennan wanted to know.

"Because I’ve given her every opportunity to go back to Griffin Montgomery and she hasn’t. This is it, Dad. Buffy and I are in it for the long haul."

***

"Edward and I were very saddened to hear of your mother’s death," Mrs. Brennan said to Buffy while her husband and son were flipping the hamburgers and hot dogs. "We were in Florida at the time and didn’t find out until we returned a month later."

Buffy solemnly nodded. "Thank you, Mrs. Brennan."

"Please, you have known me for fourteen years, Buffy. I think it’s time you started calling me Margaret. I have a feeling you’ll be a member of this family if my Angel hasn’t anything to say about it."

"I hope so."

"Now, I don’t recall Joyce ever mentioning she was ill. She had a brain tumor, correct?" she questioned. "Her obituary said it was a short illness."

"Uh-huh. It happened really quickly. She found out just weeks before I got married and passed away a few months later. Mom had had surgery to remove the tumor and we all thought she’d be fine. Then I got a call saying she’d suffered an aneurysm. The doctor said it happened so suddenly that he doubted she felt any pain whatsoever."

Mrs. Brennan patted her knee. "You don’t have to talk about it if it hurts too much."

"It does still hurt. Mostly because she was so young when it happened…and I never got a chance to say goodbye to her."

"Dinner’s ready!" Angel announced.

Everyone got up and filed to the grill, Buffy and Alexis bringing up the rear. "What’s your game this time, Buffy?" the older woman demanded.

"What game? I don’t know what you are talking about, Lexie."

"The game you are playing with my brother. Is toying with Angel’s heart your idea of fun?"

"Of course it isn’t. I love your brother more than anything."

Alexis gave her a sarcastic smile. "Yeah, sure. You may have him fooled, but not me. I can see right through you. Don’t you dare break his heart again. You don’t know what he was like last time; I do. I was the one left picking up the pieces."

"I am not going to hurt Angel. You have my word," Buffy swore.

"Your word, that’s really comforting. Let me make one thing very clear, Buffy. You and I aren’t friends, we’ll never be friends again after what you did. I don’t trust you. And if you hurt my little brother this time around, I’ll make your life a living hell."

***

23

"What do you make of this new turn of events, honey?" Mrs. Brennan asked her daughter while they were cleaning up the dishes after dinner.

"You mean Buffy and Angel?" Alexis wanted to know.

"Of course! What did you think I meant?"

Alexis shrugged her shoulders. "I was hoping you were talking about something else, like maybe the events in the Middle East."

Sighing, her mother dropped the cup she was holding into the dishwater. "Okay, I’m sensing you aren’t happy that your brother and Buffy have worked things out. You used to be their biggest supporter."

"’Used to be’ being the operative phrase there, Mom. Yes, I wanted them to get together; hell, I practically pushed Angel to ask her out. I loved Buffy like a little sister and I saw how Angel felt about her. And then she broke his heart in a million pieces. I’m sorry, but I will never be able to forgive her for that," she explained.

"It was ten years ago."

"I’m aware of that. I’ve never been one to forgive and forget." She shook her head. "Don’t you remember what Angel was like when he got home that night? Or the days following? He was devastated that she didn’t want to marry him."

"Yes, I remember. But try to look at it from Buffy’s point of view."

Alexis glared out the kitchen window, watching Buffy braid Emily’s hair. It made her sick to see her act as if she were a member of the family. "Truthfully, I don’t want to see things from her point of view. There’s no excuse for what she did."

"She was only eighteen, Alexis Jane," Mrs. Brennan reminded her thirty-year-old daughter. "Not everybody is ready for marriage right out of high school. Your brother overreacted when she said no; he took off without waiting for an explanation."

"You’re taking her side? What kind of a mother are you?" Alexis demanded, her brown eyes wide and her hands on her hips.

"I don’t appreciate that tone of voice. You may be the mother of two, but I won’t hesitate to take you over my knee in front of them," she warned.

Rolling her eyes, she let out a deep breath she’d been holding. "Sorry, Mom. But I still don’t understand why you’re taking Buffy’s side over your own son’s."

"This isn’t about taking sides; I happen to know what she went through when Angel proposed because I went through the same thing. We were the same age, fresh out of high school. Do you think I said yes to your father right away? No. It took me days to finally say yes. I wasn’t sure if I was ready and your father was kind enough to give me the time I needed. Now I can’t speak for Buffy, but I can guess she knew she wasn’t ready yet. That doesn’t mean she didn’t want to marry him eventually. Your brother jumped to the wrong conclusion when she said no, and took off. He made a mistake."

"No. Marrying her will be his biggest mistake."

Mrs. Brennan frowned at her daughter’s remark. "Alexis, Angel is old enough to make his own decisions. I haven’t seen him this happy in ten years. Allow him his happiness."

***

"Mom, can Steven and I sleep over Uncle Angel’s house tonight?" Emily asked at eight o’clock when Buffy and Angel were getting ready to leave.

"I don’t know, Em. Your uncle might have other plans."

She shook her head vigorously. "Oh no, he already told us we could. And Aunt Buffy said she’d give me a makeover. Please, Mom?"

‘I don’t want Buffy anywhere near my daughter. It’s bad enough she’s got Emily calling her Aunt Buffy,’ Alexis thought. "Maybe some other time."

"Lexie, it’s fine with us if Emily and Steven sleep over. I was actually hoping they would," Angel told his sister.

Brad came up behind Alexis, putting his arms around her. "Aren’t you the one who’s always complaining that we never get any time alone? Just let the kids stay over at your brother’s place. Besides, you know how much they love it over there. And they’ll just whine if you don’t let them."

Seeing the pleading gazes in her children’s eyes, she relented. "All right. But you two better be good for your uncle and his…and Buffy. If I get one bad report, that’ll be the last time you stay over there. No more sleepovers ever."

Cheering, the two kids went running down the hall to the bedroom they were sharing. "They’ll be fine at my house," promised Angel. "They always are."

"Yeah, I’m sure they will be. They have certainly taken a liking to Buffy."

Having heard Alexis’ comment, Buffy stated, "I’m glad. I love kids, and it’ll be fun having a few around tonight."

"If you love kids so much, why don’t you have any with your husband?"

"Alexis!" Brad exclaimed, shocked by her question.

"No, it’s okay, Brad. You want to know why Griffin and I don’t have any kids? Because he didn’t want any," she answered shortly, not liking Alexis’ tone. "Is there anything else you want to know about my marriage while we’re on the subject?"

Alexis took a step toward her. "As a matter of fact, yes there is. What’s the real reason you’re getting a divorce?"

"Stop this right now," Angel demanded.

"Angel, you don’t have to stick up for me," Buffy told him. "First off, I’m not getting divorced, I’m having my marriage annulled. There *is* a difference. And I left him for personal reasons I don’t care to get into right now."

"What? Fidelity became too hard?"

"Because he hit me!" she blurted out. "Are you happy now, Lexie? Does that bring a smile to your face? Does it brighten your day?"

The revelation surprised Alexis; it was the last thing she expected to hear. She couldn’t imagine Buffy letting any man hit her. "I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Buffy."

"I hope so," growled her brother.

Buffy placed her hand on his arm, hoping to calm him down. "Angel, please. Not here, not now. Besides, I just want to go home."

"Okay."

Emily and Steven ran into the room, each of them carrying a duffel bag. "Ready!" they shouted.

Angel knelt down to their level. "Do you two monsters have everything you need? Toothbrushes, underwear, first aid kits?" he asked.

Watching the exchange, Buffy smiled to herself. ‘He is so great with kids. I’m sure he’ll want a whole brood of them. Little Angels running around…now there’s an image.’ "First aid kits? Am I missing something here?"

"For the pillow fight to end all pillow fights," Angel informed her. "I’m the reigning champ."

"No way!" Emily argued. "I’m gonna beat your sorry butt this year."

Buffy laughed. "Hey, Emily, how about we make it boys against girls this year. I think the two of us can give those two losers a run for their money."

"We’re not losers!" complained Steven. "Are we, Uncle Angel?"

"Nope. We’re gonna wipe the floor with them."

"Yeah!" Steven shouted.

Emily looked at Buffy and grinned. "I’m in. Can we go now?"

"Sure. Say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa first."

After the kids said their goodbyes, Mrs. Brennan approached Buffy, handing her a piece of paper. "Here’s the phone number for my doctor, just like you asked. She’s excellent, but you should give her a call first thing tomorrow if you want an appointment anytime soon. Dr. Valenti gets very busy."

"Thank you so much, I’ll be sure to call tomorrow. It’s been so long since I’ve had a physical, now is as good a time as any."

***

24

The next morning, a very tired-looking Emily shuffled into the kitchen, her light brown hair rumpled from sleeping. Buffy laughed when she laid eyes on the little girl. "You look awfully tired this morning, Emily. Didn’t you sleep well?"

"No, not really."

"Don’t tell me you’re still afraid of this house. It’s not really haunted, you know," her uncle teased as he cooked their breakfast.

Emily shook her head and scrunched her nose. "I don’t believe in ghosts, Uncle Angel. Mom told me there are no such things. She says you made it all up to scare me."

"And to think your mother used to be fun," he said with a light-hearted laugh. "I think you’re old enough to hear what your mother used to do to me when *I* was nine."

With a roll of her eyes, Buffy sighed. The last thing Emily Nelson needed to hear were horror stories about her mother. "Angel, don’t. She’s too young. In ten years she’ll still be too young." She turned her attention to the nine-year-old sitting across the table from her. "How come you didn’t sleep well last night? Did your brother keep you up?"

"No. I couldn’t sleep because it was loud."

"Loud?" Angel repeated, confused by her answer. "Is your little brother a snorer?"

Emily giggled. "Nuh-huh, Uncle Angel. It was loud in your room. You guys sleep really loud. Were you having a bad dream? ‘Cause that’s what Mommy says is wrong when she and Daddy are really loud at night."

Buffy and Angel exchanged embarrassed smiles. ‘Dammit,’ she thought to herself. ‘I knew we shouldn’t have made love last night.’ "That’s it exactly, Emily. I had a bad dream. And when I have one, I like to toss and turn a lot."

"Oh, okay. Do you have any Pop Tarts?" she wanted to know.

"Sorry, we’re all out," her uncle answered. "But I think I might have some Cocoa Krispies left. You don’t want any eggs?"

"No thank you. I’ve tasted your eggs. I think I’ll stick with cereal."

With mock hurt, Angel tossed a towel at his niece’s head.

***

"Angel, I want to apologize for Alexis’ behavior yesterday evening," Brad started later that day when he stopped by the house to pick up Emily and Steven. "She had no right to say those things about Buffy."

"Don’t worry about it. Lexie hasn’t exactly been Buffy’s biggest fan over the past decade. You’d figure by now she would be willing to forgive and forget. I guess not."

Brad laughed at the comment. "You got that right. Believe me, that woman knows how to hold a grudge. But the thing is, I don’t understand why she’s so upset about Buffy returning. The way she tells it, they were the best of friends in high school."

"Yeah, they were. When Buffy first moved to Sunnydale, the two of them hit it off immediately; that entire summer the three of us were inseparable. In fact, Alexis knew how I felt about Buffy before I even did. She convinced me to act on my feelings and ended up being our biggest supporter. If it wasn’t for her, I doubt Buffy and I would have ever gotten together."

"And then you two broke up and she blamed Buffy for it," he deduced.

"Yep. The breakup was due to my own stupidity, I know that now. But I don’t think my sister thinks of it that way. She put all the blame on Buffy when it really belonged on me. I was the one who walked away, and when I couldn’t deal with the prospect of seeing her, I ran away."

Frowning, Brad nodded in understanding. "You were only eighteen, it isn’t like you knew any better at the time."

"Exactly. I’ve put the past behind me. Now I hope Alexis can do the same."

"She will. Just give her some time."

"Well, she had better. Because as soon as those annulment papers are finalized, I plan on asking Buffy to marry me. I’m hoping she’ll say yes this time around," Angel said.

"I think that woman out there knows how lucky she is. I can almost guarantee she’ll say yes. I don’t see Buffy as the string ‘em along type," Brad commented.

Angel smiled. "No, she’s not."

***

Two weeks later, Doctor Sheila Valenti sat in the examining room with Buffy. It was the woman’s first visit and they were going over Buffy’s family history prior to her physical.

"Any history of heart or lung disease?" the doctor wanted to know.

Buffy shook her head. "Not on my mom’s side. I don’t know about my dad’s side. Hell, I don’t know much of anything about my father’s side of the family."

"How come?"

"It’s kind of a long story. The shorter version is that I only met my father twice – once when I was a kid and again five years ago when my mother died. The only thing I know about him is his name," she explained.

"I see. You said your mother died; how? She wasn’t very old, was she?"

She looked down; talking about her mother’s illness was never easy for her. "She was in her early forties. She had an aneurysm as a result of a brain tumor."

Scribbling on her sheet of paper, Dr. Valenti nodded. "I see. How long as she ill for?"

"Six months at the most. It happened very suddenly. I consider it to be a blessing that she went quickly and painlessly."

"Sometimes it is a blessing. Well, I think I have all I need for now. Your former physician in Wichita is forwarding your file to me; if I have any further questions I will call you. But I do need some blood work."

"Why?"

"I require all of my new patients to have complete blood work done. That way I can run any necessary tests at once. We can do it right now or wait until tomorrow morning, it’s up to you," the doctor told her.

Buffy shuddered, imagining the needle she’d be pricked with. "I guess now would be a good time to mention my fear of needles."

"Don’t worry. I’ll make it as painless as possible."

She took a deep breath. "Okay. Do you mind if I ask what kind of tests you’ll be running?"

"Just the usual. Trust me, Buffy, it’s nothing to be concerned about. If there is anything out of the ordinary, I’ll let you know right away."

***

25

"Did your doctor’s appointment go well?" Angel asked Buffy when she returned home an hour later.

Shrugging her shoulders, she made a beeline for the refrigerator and pulled out a can of Diet Pepsi. She opened it and took a swig. "It was okay. I don’t love doctors any more than I did before. But it didn’t kill me. Dr. Valenti seems like a nice lady."

"She is. Mom has been going to her for years and swears by her." He noticed a bandage on the inside of Buffy’s right elbow. "What’s that?"

Buffy groaned. "I had to get blood work done."

"And I’m sensing by your tone of voice that you still hate needles," Angel noted. "But everything’s okay, right?"

"Yeah. Dr. Valenti said it’s standard procedure, not that it made me any happier about it. Oh well. At least it’s over. No more doctors for quite some time."

***

Later that night, the two of them sat on the couch watching television. They had been watching a show on Channel 7 when all of a sudden Buffy turned it off. "What did you do that for?" Angel complained. "I was watching that."

"It was a repeat. Besides, I think right now would be a good time to talk," she told him.

"About what?"

"I don’t know. Anything. You know, we never really talked about what happened to each other in college. Now might be a good time."

Angel’s pulse quickened; the last thing he wanted to talk about was college. "Buffy, maybe that’s not such a great idea."

"Why not? Come on, don’t be such a baby, college wasn’t that bad, was it? I’ll even start. Ask me anything."

Against his better judgment, he gave in. ‘I know this is going to come back and bite me in the ass. But I guess Buffy will find out eventually. The sooner the better.’ "Okay. Willow mentioned a little bit about freshman year while we were at the reunion. Some guy you dated named Parker…I’m curious about what happened between you two."

"Ugh," she moaned in disgust. "Do I really have to talk about Parker Abrams? Getting involved with him wasn’t one of the brightest things I’ve ever done in my life."

He could see the flicker of pain as it flashed across her face. "He hurt you, didn’t he?"

Buffy nodded her head. "Big time. He was the first guy I went out with after we – after you left town. At first he seemed like a really great guy: friendly, funny, sweet, good-looking…he reminded me of you in a lot of ways. Parker even looked like you, with his dark hair and dark eyes. But he wasn’t you, and he demonstrated that to me. Anyway, we went out on a few dates, had fun…and then I slept with him."

"H-He was your first," Angel assumed, practically choking on the words as they left his mouth.

"Yeah. I mean, he was so much like you that I wanted to believe he *was* you. And I also wanted to prove to everyone that I could move on with my life even though I really didn’t want to. I knew I’d never get over you , and the only thing I was capable of doing was going through the motions." Buffy paused, gauging his reaction. "Does that make any sense?"

"Believe it or not, it does. I went through almost the exact same thing at UCLA. But go on, continue."

She swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. "Well, I woke up the next morning alone in his bed. He’d gone out for coffee and came back a few minutes after I’d woken up. When I left, Parker promised to call me, and I sat in my room for two days waiting to hear from him. But I never did. Finally, I confronted him about it and do you know what he told me? He said it was fun. He never cared about me; all he wanted to do was get me in bed. Apparently he suffered from intimacy problems, and the problem being that he couldn’t get enough of it."

"God, Buffy, I’m so sorry. I had no idea."

"Forget it, it’s of the past. A few weeks later I met Griffin. After the way I’d been burned by Parker, I was determined to take things slowly. Part of me figured if I kept dating guys who looked like you, I’d always end up hurt or disappointed. Griffin was your polar opposite." Buffy laughed shortly. "In every way."

Angel looked away. "I think I know how the story goes from here on out."

"There’s not much left to tell. We dated, he proposed in November of 1995 and we got married shortly after graduation."

"Yeah, I know. Alexis decided to torture me by sending a copy of your engagement announcement. And I took the news rather hard," he informed her.

"I can imagine. If the roles had been reversed, I probably would have gone off the deep end myself."

He gazed at her, a sad look on his face. "Looking back, I think I did go off the deep end. I did things I never would have done under normal circumstances."

Buffy was intrigued. Something had happened to him, something bad he found difficult to talk about. "Feel up to telling me about it?"

"Not particularly. But since you shared with him, I should extend the same courtesy. When I left Sunnydale I didn’t head straight for Los Angeles. I spent most of the summer driving around the West Coast; I went to San Francisco, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, etc.. That entire summer was spent thinking, second guessing myself and wondering what I could have done differently. And in the end I came up with nothing.

"My first year at UCLA wasn’t nearly as eventful as yours. I spent the majority of it studying or spending time with my new friends. Spike was my roommate and he dragged me to every frat party on campus. It took me until sophomore year before I felt ready to date again. Even then it was only a few girls, nothing really serious. I graduated, went to USC for grad school and moved back here to teach."

"Is that where you met Drusilla? At USC?" she wanted to know.

"Uh-huh. First year. We had Psychology together."

‘At least he’s opening up. I just wish he’d tell me what *really* happened at college that upset him.’ "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."

"Who was she?" Your first, I mean. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume it wasn’t Drusilla."

He inhaled sharply. It was the question he’d been dreading. The last thing Angel wanted to do was hurt Buffy. "I don’t want to talk about it, Buffy."

‘A-ha!’ "What is it? Angel, don’t clam up on me now. Believe me, it can’t be anywhere near as bad as mine."

"Care to make a wager on that?" he asked. "I would rather forget about it. I wasn’t in my right mind at the time."

"What do you mean? Were you drunk?"

He shook his head. "I wish I had been, at least then I would have an excuse for what I did. My first time was a lapse in judgement that I regret. More so now than ever because you’re back in my life."

"Spill. It’ll feel better once you talk about it," Buffy reassured him.

"You don’t want to hear it. If I tell you, it will only hurt you."

Buffy gazed at him with questions in her green eyes. "Hurt me? What are you talking about? How is it going to hurt me?"

"It just will. But if you really want to hear about it, I’ll tell you." Angel paused, taking a deep breath in preparation. "I was a senior and it was late November; I’d just gotten a copy of your engagement announcement. Needless to say, I did not take the news very well. For three years I held on to the hope that maybe – just maybe – you and I might get back together. Reading that announcement basically shot all my dreams to hell.

"Spike saw how upset I was and forced me to go to this party a friend of his was having. So I went and I was determined to try to forget what I had read. I ran into a girl I knew, we talked, went back to my dorm room and slept together. End of story."

She was confused by his story. "Okay, I don’t understand. How would that have hurt me? It’s better than what happened to me."

"It’s not *what* happened. It’s *who* it happened with."

"Who?"

He looked away once again, ashamed. "Cordelia."

It took several moments for the weight of Angel’s words to sink in. A bevy of emotions flowed through her. "Cordelia? As in Cordelia Chase?"

"I’m sorry."

"You had sex with Cordelia Chase?" she demanded, not doing a very good job of hiding her anger.

"I know what you’re thinking, Buffy, but –"

"Do you?! You had sex with the one girl I hated for most of high school! You know the hell she put me through when she made it her life’s mission to steal you from me. Cordelia did everything in her power to take you away from me."

"I know that. And that’s the reason I regret it."

"And she got you."

"No. No she didn’t. I’m with you, not her. Look, when I realized what I’d done, I regretted it instantly. And I haven’t seen or spoken to Cordy since," he explained.

Buffy bit her lip. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"That’s why I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew it would hurt you. Besides, you slept with that Parker guy, and you only knew him for a few weeks. I’ve known Cordy since grammar school."

"That’s completely different, Angel. You didn’t know him like I knew Cordelia. You’re not going to be the one imagining it tonight. You’ve got it easy, you’ll be thinking of me with a nameless, faceless guy. I’ll see you with Cordelia Chase. It makes me sick. Right about now, so do you."

Without another word, Buffy stood up and walked into the bedroom they shared. Hurt and betrayed by Angel’s confession.

***

The phone rang the next afternoon. Closing her laptop, Buffy reached over to answer it. "Hello?…Yes, this is Buffy…Hi, Dr. Valenti…You got my blood work back? Is something wrong?…What?…No, thank you for letting me know…Goodbye."

She hung up the phone, staring at the receiver. "Oh my god."

***

26

"Nice hit, Maggie!" Buffy heard Angel compliment the redheaded girl up at the plate during softball practice.

The teenager smiled shyly at her coach as she walked back to the bench. Buffy saw her and thought, ‘That Maggie seems to have a crush on my Angel. I’d recognize that look anywhere. I had the same expression on my face for about three months before he and I started going out.’ Not wanting to interrupt the practice, she stood several feet away from the field.

She watched for about five minutes before anyone realized she was there. "Are you here to pick someone up?" one of the girls on the team asked her. The girl had seen Buffy while she was up to bat.

Buffy shook her head. "No. I’m just watching. Well, I’m actually waiting for Angel – Coach Brennan."

"Are you his girlfriend?"

"Something like that. What time is practice over?"

"In about ten minutes, we’re working on our hitting. Do you want me to tell Coach Brennan you’re here?" she wanted to know.

"That’s okay. I’ll wait here until he’s done," Buffy told her.

The girl shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever." She went back to the bench where the rest of the team sat. "Coach’s girlfriend is here. Check her out."

All of them turned around to see Buffy. Maggie’s face fell when she gazed upon the older blonde woman. "Why couldn’t he have an ugly girlfriend?" she whined.

"Like you have a chance with him," one of the girls said.

Seated to Maggie’s left, Melody Kendall got up and made her way to Buffy’s side. "Aren’t you Buffy Summers?"

"Yes I am. Do I know you?"

"Not really. We only met a few times and I was only four at the time. I’m Melody Kendall, you used to be friends with my sister Harmony," Melody explained. "But I won’t hold it against you."

"Oh my god, I can’t believe it. It *has* been a long time. You were so little, how do you remember me?" questioned Buffy.

She laughed. "My sister’s yearbook. I used to love going through it, and I remember seeing pictures of you and Coach Brennan on every other page. You haven’t changed a bit. But I thought you lived in another state with your husband."

"I did. It’s a long story, Melody."

"Did you and Coach Brennan get back together?" ‘It’s so romantic. High school sweethearts finding their way back to one another after years of being apart.’ Melody was a hopeless romantic at heart.

"Sort of. I’m ending my marriage and I’m staying with him until everything is finalized."

"Girls, team meeting!" Angel called form the pitcher’s mound.

Melody sighed; she wanted to get the gossip on Buffy and Angel’s relationship. "Dammit. I gotta go. It was nice seeing you again, Buffy."

"Same here, Melody."

The girls on the team ran onto the field, surrounding their coach. "Okay, ladies, great job today. I want you here at six-thirty on Friday night so we can have a quick practice before the game. Wear your blue uniforms and white socks. If you can’t make it, give me a call. See you later," Angel told them.

"Hey, Coach Brennan, your girlfriend is here to see you," Maggie informed him, pointing in Buffy’s direction.

Angel looked over, seeing Buffy standing near the players’ bench. After their fight the previous evening, Buffy was the last person he expected to see. They hadn’t spoken the entire morning, only exchanging quick, silent glances. He was sure she was doing her best to avoid him. Not that he blamed her, but he figured given the proper amount time she’d forgive him.

He walked over to her, wearing an unsure look on his face. "Hi, Buffy," he greeted tentatively.

"Hi. I didn’t want to interrupt your practice, so I just watched for a little while."

"I’m glad you came," he said, giving her a half-smile. "Look, about last night–"

Buffy lifted her hand to silence him. "Angel, it’s okay. Really. I didn’t come here to talk about it."

"Can I at least apologize? I am sorry that it hurt you the way it did. I didn’t want you to find out like that. I had sex with Cordelia and it meant nothing to me. It happened six-and-a-half years ago. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat. It was a mistake, a huge mistake and I don’t want to lose you over it," he stated.

Buffy nodded her head. She took his hand and slowly led him to the bench, where they both sat down. "I know. And I had no right to treat you the way I did last night. I did some pretty stupid things myself while in college. We all make mistakes, and I guess I can’t hold your mistake with Cordelia against you. But that’s not why I came here."

"Then why are you here?"

"Dr. Valenti called me about an hour ago. She got the results of my blood work back."

Angel’s heart pounded, almost afraid to ask his next question. "Is there something wrong with you?"

"That really depends on how you look at it. I’m not dying or anything like that, but it’s something that’ll change our lives – or at least my life – forever."

"What are you talking about?" he wanted to know. Buffy’s cryptic explanation wasn’t doing anything except confusing him.

She took a deep breath. "I’m pregnant."

An uncomfortable silence followed. Angel didn’t know what to say, or if anything would come out if he tried. The news came as a complete shock to his system. Buffy was pregnant?

"Angel? Did you hear me? I said I’m having a baby," Buffy repeated.

"I-I heard you."

She didn’t like it. His reaction – or lack thereof – frightened her to no end. ‘Come on, please say something. Anything.’ "And?"

"And I think I need to sit down."

"You are sitting down," she reminded him.

"Oh" was all he could muster. "Good."

"Are you okay?"

He nodded in response. "I think so. How-how far along are you? When is the due date?" Slowly but surely, the news was beginning to sink in. ‘Buffy’s pregnant. She’s going to have a baby.’

Buffy shrugged her shoulders, happy that Angel hadn’t yelled and screamed when she told him the news. If anything, he seemed calm. A bit dazed, but calm. "I don’t know yet. I made an appointment with an obstetrician Dr. Valenti recommended. It’s next week, so I probably won’t know until then." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Are you okay with all this?"

"Yeah. I am okay. You’re having a baby."

"Looks like it."

Ignoring the fourteen teenage girls watching them from ten feet away, Angel pulled Buffy into his arms, giving her a soft, loving kiss. ‘I’m going to be a father,’ he thought. ‘Buffy and I are going to be parents. Life doesn’t get better than this.’

***

27

Buffy was still sound asleep when Angel awoke the following morning. The sun had just risen above the horizon, but he wasn’t ready to get up yet. No, all he wanted to do was lay in bed for a little while longer and watch her sleep. The sight before him was so peaceful, so serene that he couldn’t bear to disrupt it.

She slept on her back, the blankets only covering her up to her chest. On her face she wore an expression of contentment, a glow that he knew could only accompany her pregnancy. His sister bore the same look when she announced her pregnancies with Emily and Steven. And the image of Buffy – eight months pregnant with his child – brought a tear of happiness to his eyes.

Angel pulled the blanket down and placed his ear to Buffy’s flat stomach, listening carefully. Somewhere inside of her their baby was growing. The mere thought of it astounded him. The one thing he’d always dreamed of was having a family with the woman he loved. For so long he feared his dream would never come true, but now it was finally becoming reality. He and Buffy were going to be parents. Together they’d created a new life.

"Hey, little baby," he murmured to the child growing inside of his sleeping love. "I’m your daddy. And I’m gonna teach you everything you need to know. First thing you should know is that my name is Angel and your mom is Buffy. And I love her very much." He laughed softly. "I guess I don’t need to tell you that. You’re here because I love her. Just so you know, your mom and I are going to be the best parents in the world. Or we’ll try to be the best parents. I can’t think of anything else right now. I’ll see you in a couple months."

As silently as possible, Angel climbed out of bed, put on a pair of sweatpants and went into the kitchen to begin cooking breakfast.

***

It wasn’t much past nine when Buffy finally woke up. She opened her eyes and smiled when the aroma of frying bacon and toasting bread reached her nose. "Mmm…" she moaned, hearing her stomach growl. "Angel?"

"Wait in there!" he called.

With a shrug of her shoulders, Buffy did as she was told. Besides, she felt too tired to argue with him. They’d stayed up late celebrating her pregnancy. "Whatever your daddy is up to, it certainly smells delicious," she said, rubbing her belly.

Three minutes later Angel walked back into the room carrying a tray of food. "Good morning," he greeted cheerfully.

Buffy grinned when she saw the trouble he’d gone to in making her food. "What’s all this for?"

"For you." He placed the tray on the bed in front of her, pulled a shirt from the back of the chair and put it on her. "I made you breakfast in bed. You are eating for two now, you know."

"You are so amazing, you know that?"

Angel cocked his head from side to side in amusement. "It’s often been said. Now eat."

"There’s so much food here!" Buffy exclaimed. "Are you trying to make me gain all my pregnancy weight in the first few months? You made enough here for an army! Eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, hash browns…are these the same hash browns that have been in your freezer since last year?"

He laughed at her question. "No. I threw those out right after you moved in. And I’m not trying to make you fat, Buffy. Not at all. I just want to make sure you’re eating healthy things and that our baby is healthy."

"Promise that’s the reason?"

"Promise. How did you sleep last night?" he wanted to know.

She took a forkful of eggs and put it into her mouth. They practically melted. "Pretty good. Which is fairly surprising considering that you kept me up later than usual."

"Hey! We had to celebrate the good news."

Buffy put her arms around him. "I’m not complaining about it, Angel. Believe me, I’m not."

"Good. Now, I want you to eat everything on that tray," he ordered. "Not one scrap of food is to be left."

"Yes, *Dad.*"

"I have to get in practice."

He watched her eat for a few minutes. It was hard to get over the fact that she was carrying a child inside of her. His child. The sight was more beautiful than any he’d ever seen. "When are we going to tell everyone the good news?"

Buffy looked up from her eating. "T-Tell everyone?" she stammered.

"Yeah," Angel replied with a nod. "I mean, it will be pretty obvious in a few months, so we will have to tell my family and our friends."

"I hadn’t really thought about that."

"Is something wrong?" Her tone troubled him; something was definitely amiss with her.

"No, not really. I guess I haven’t really thought much about telling everyone. Or maybe I have and I’m afraid of what your family will think of it."

Angel leaned over and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Who cares what they think. I certainly don’t. This is our baby, not theirs."

"But I’m still married to Griffin," she reminded him.

"Not for much longer. I’ll call Spike and have him rush the annulment. That way you can be rid of that man forever. And we can begin our lives together. Just the three of us."

***

"Have you been suffering from morning sickness?" Dr. Albertson asked Buffy the next week during her first pre-natal visit.

She laid down on the table, lifting the paper robe over her belly. "Not much. A couple days ago I did, but nothing really bad. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be."

"Morning sickness differs with every patient. Is this your first pregnancy?"

"Yes. I was so thrilled when I found out last week. I’ve wanted a baby for a long time," Buffy told her.

The doctor smiled. "It’s always nice to hear that. So many people these days don’t want children, or see them as a burden. And how about the father? Was he as thrilled as you were?"

"Most definitely. He’s the fathering type, you know I mean? He’s great with kids. Just seeing him with his niece and nephew told me how great he’d be with his own."

"Are you two married? I’m sorry, that was very personal, you don’t have to answer that."

"Don’t worry about it. It really depends on how you define married. I’m in the middle of getting my marriage annulled. The baby’s father is my high school sweetheart. We’re going to get married after the annulment is finalized."

"Good for you. Let’s have a look at your baby."

Dr. Albertson applied the jelly along Buffy’s stomach. She waited a few minutes for the wand to heat up before rubbing it around. "Buffy, I’m going to do a sonogram so we can look at the baby. You’ll be able to see everything on the screen right next to you. I want to determine how far along you are." She pointed to the screen. "There’s your baby’s head."

She stared in awe at the screen. ‘My baby. That’s my baby.’ Tears burned her eyes just thinking about it. "Can you tell what the sex is?"

The doctor shook her head. "It’s too soon to tell. In a couple months that’ll be very apparent. From what I can tell, you’re due date should be around the end of March."

"That means I’m…"

"About seven weeks along. My educated guess at this moment would be that the baby was conceived around the end of June. Probably within the last two weeks. But I’ll be able to give a better estimate once the pregnancy progresses."

Buffy’s heart nearly stopped. ‘June. End of June. Oh my god. That means – that means the baby might not be Angel’s after all. It could be Griffin’s.’

***

28

She drove aimlessly around Sunnydale for an hour after leaving Dr. Albertson’s office. Buffy was in a state of shock – literally. She didn’t know what to think or feel, or how to process the information she’d received. If the doctor’s calculations were correct, she was seven weeks pregnant, with a good possibility she carried another man’s child.

Buffy feared Angel’s reaction to the news. For the better part of a week he’d been the happiest she’d ever seen him. If it were possible, she’d even say he glowed. The prospect of impending fatherhood seemed to keep a perpetual smile on his face. The last thing she wanted to do was burst his bubble. But she couldn’t hide it from him forever.

Twenty minutes later she found herself in front of Restfield Cemetery, the very place she buried her mother five years earlier. Buffy stepped out of the car and made her way to her mother’s grave. When she found it, she saw it overwhelmed with weeds and leaves. Biting her lip, she cleared them away in silence.

"Hi, Mom. Bet you’re surprised to see me here," she started after she’d finished, bending her knees and holding her weight in her ankles. "I know it’s been a long time since I’ve visited you, and I’m sorry. It’s just so hard to think of you as being gone. Even after five years. There have been so many times I’ve needed a mother to talk to and I’d pick up the phone to call you, only to realize as I dialed your number that you aren’t there.

"And boy, do I need you now. Guess what? Buffy screwed up again." She laughed shortly. "Although I’m sure you know all about it already. I know how much you disliked Griffin for moving me halfway across the country, not that you were his biggest supporter before that. You pretended to be happy for me on my wedding day, but I know you secretly wished I’d married Angel instead. And you know I was wishing the exact same thing.

"I’m so close, Mom. So very close to making my dream come true. Griffin and I are over; I’m back together with Angel and everything was going along so perfectly. But now I am pregnant. Under normal circumstances I’d be thrilled beyond belief. Well, I *am* happy to be having a baby except for one little thing: it might be Griffin’s."

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. If telling her mother was this hard, she could only imagine what telling Angel would be like. "I want him out of my life, but how can I do that if this baby could be his? The annulment should be finalized in a couple of weeks and, in theory, that part of my life will cease to exist. But this baby changes everything.

"And then there’s Angel. God, I love him so much; I never stopped, even when I thought I had no chance of a future with him. He tells me how wonderful our life will be; all the things we’ll do, places we’ll go and so on. And I believe him. Life with him is almost as great as I dreamed it would be. My god, Mom, the sex…I can’t even begin to put into words how amazing it is. If I had known that ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t have said no when he proposed.

"Anyway, he is so happy about my pregnancy. Just yesterday he came home with a book of baby names, gift-wrapped with a blue bow. I think it was his way of telling me he wants a son." She brought a hand to her eyes and wiped away her tears. "I don’t want to hurt him. But I know it’ll kill him to know this baby might not be his. You don’t need to tell me there’s always the opportunity to have more babies; I’m well-aware. But there is something about this baby – maybe because it’s my first – that makes me want it to be Angel’s so badly."

With a sniffle, Buffy looked towards the sky. "Help me, Mom. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to tell him without breaking his heart."

***

"How’s the annulment coming along?" Angel asked Spike while he waited for Buffy to return home from her doctor’s appointment.

On his end of the phone, Spike sighed heavily. It was the third time his friend had asked in the past week. ‘I wonder what is making him so anxious. Besides the obvious.’ "Same as the last time you asked. It’s coming along smoothly. No major snags. Montgomery is being surprisingly cooperative."

"How long until it’s finalized?"

"You in a big hurry or something?"

"Kinda. Come on, Spike."

"Fine. A month, tops. Of course, that’s barring any complications," Spike informed him. "To sign the papers, both Buffy and Griffin will need to be there."

Angel narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Distribution of property and other things."

"Oh." He heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. "I think Buffy’s home. I’ll give you a call later this week. Bye, Spike."

"Bye."

Once he’d hung up the phone, Angel headed into the garden patio in time to see Buffy walked down the stairs. "Hey," he greeted with a smile on his face. "You’re awfully late."

All the color left her face the second she heard his voice. "Yeah, I know. After I left the doctor’s office I drove around for a while. Needed to think."

"Oh. Is something wrong with you? With the baby?" Given her tone of voice, he naturally assumed the worst.

Buffy shook her head. "No, nothing like that. Baby and I are physically fine. According to Dr. Albertson I’m about seven weeks along. I’m due at the end of March."

"That’s great."

"Let’s sit down," she suggested, tugging his hand and leading him to the stone bench near the fountain. "There’s something we need to talk about; something that could change everything."

Angel looked at her suspiciously. "Sounds ominous."

"I am approximately seven weeks pregnant. Do the math, Angel."

He thought for a few moments. "That’s around the last week or so of June. That’s no reason to look so depressed, Buffy."

Buffy closed her eyes and swallowed the giant lump in her throat. "The first time you and I were together was the night of the reunion. June twenty-first, seven weeks ago. You already know that. But what you don’t know was what happened the next day when I returned to Kansas."

"It’s not important; it doesn’t matter."

"Yes it does!" Tears began to stream down her cheeks, and she didn’t bother to wipe them away. "It matters because I slept with Griffin the next night."

Not a word came from him. Angel just sat there and looked at her.

"We used protection, we always used protection. He was so adamant about not having children that Griffin *always* wore a condom whenever we made love. That night was no exception. And even though you and I didn’t, there’s a good chance…Griffin could be the father."

She paused, awaiting Angel’s reaction. When he didn’t give one off, Buffy feared the worst. "I love you, Angel, not him. I want to be with you, not him. And I want you to be this baby’s father, not Griffin. If you want, we can have a paternity test done to find out for sure. You deserve that much." She stopped long enough to finally wipe her tears away. "I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. Say something. Please."

But he didn’t say anything right away. Instead, Angel slid off the bench and perched himself on one knee in front of her. "Will you marry me?"

***

Next Chapters...
Back to Michelle's AU Courses
Back to Lit Department