Chapter 1
Life…it just passes you by. Things you wish you had done and things you still have to get done. Honestly, life just sucks…..doesn’t it? First, you find out you’re the fucking Champion of Good. The one girl in the entire fucking world to save the world from darkness, and then you die, but the ironic thing is you come back because of friendship and love. Then you find out that you’re not the only fucking girl in the world to save the world from darkness, you’re just the runner up, and you're not even supposed to be alive.
Then you watch as the first place winner of death, dies and another was called and you’re still in the background, saving the world as always. The newest Champion goes bad and look who they look to, to save the day! Then you die…..again, and get brought back by your friends…..again. Only to find out you have a child with the man you loved only to watch him die….again, in front of you, except this time, this time he’s gone. He’s just gone. There is no coming back, is there?
I sit on the floor of the warehouse sniffling and wondering if I should be slightly wigged that some of Angel’s ashes are coming in my nose and mouth. Connor wiggling around in my lap, reaching his little hand out to play with the dust on the floor. I didn’t care, I just don’t care anymore.
William had left a few minutes ago without saying a word. I could hear the stake falling to the ground and his shoes walking away with a stomp. I knew he blamed me for the death of Dru and Angelus even if I wasn’t the one who staked them. Was it my fault? It didn’t really matter, I had come here to kill them anyway. Might as well blame me, it's easier that way.
“It wasn’t my fault,” I whispered, not believing a damn word of it.
My heart aches, my body aches, but mostly my soul is dying. Even if he wasn’t around he still had a place in my heart. I could always feel him no matter what. I watched as a tear drop fell into the ashes of my love. I was entranced at the sight of my pain mixing with his life. I had wanted to tell him that I wanted to be with him forever, after hearing him tell Darla she didn’t stand a chance with him, that he loved me. Or at least I think that’s what he said, God I can’t remember. I can't remember his last words. I only remember trying to kill him in the basement.
“Please, please, please forgive me,” I cried out.
Forever was a long, long time. How the hell would I go on without him? Sure I had lived in Sunnydale without him, but he was alive…..ALIVE….and now….he's gone. I feel my chest hitch from a trying to stifle a sob.
“He’s gone,” I croaked. Spreading my fingers through the ashes one last time and getting up.
I willed myself not to look back as I walked out of the warehouse.
“He’s gone baby,” I whispered. Connor seemed to notice his mother’s pain and stared up at with his big brown eyes and blinked.
I feel my breast aching and know I need to get Connor home and try to feed him. Something I hadn’t done since my episode, thanks to Darla.
I looked up at the sky, "I promise you, I will take care of him,” I sobbed walking down the street.
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Part 2
I wake up with a searing shot of pain, bursting right behind my eyes. I look around in shock. How did I get in the tub? Then, it hits me like a brick. Buffy. She did this to me. Personally, I don't blame her. How the hell could I have done that to my own sister? Sure, I’m an evil lawyer, but I do love my sister and my nephew. He was going to be my heir.
I run my fingers through my hair and try to get out of the shower. I wince as my hands find the spot Buffy ran my head into the wall. The girl is lethal!
“You did it this time Lin,” I mutter, stepping out of the bathroom and staring at the blood on my hands.
I can hear my phone ring, but I completely ignore it and hobble down to my bedroom. I flop my battered body on my bed and sigh.
“What the hell have I done?”
The phone is still ringing and my head is going to explode from the pain. I look over at it. Maybe it's Buffy? Did she find Conner with Dru? Wacky bitch! I grab the phone, realizing that whoever it is they are not going to stop until they get a hold of me.
“Ello.”
“Well, Lindsey my boy. It's about time you answered the damn phone!”
I swallowed. “Dad?”
“Yes, your father you ass!” Hank yelled.
“How the hell did you get this phone number?” I ask slowly, still not comprehending that Hank Summers, my father is on the phone. The man has never called me. And I like it that way.
“How do you think?” Hank said smoothly.
“Honestly you jackass, I don’t know!” I yell. The pain from hitting my head on the tub is ripping through my skull.
“Your sister did a number on you, didn’t she?” Hank said laughing.
I sat up straight on the bed and nearly dropped the phone. I look around the room. How the hell did he know?
“Lindsey, shut your mouth. Who the hell do you think your boss is?” Hank snarled.
“Boss?”
“Boy, you're not dense. You sure as hell didn’t go to Harvard because of your smarts. You were a slacker, but now you're one of our best. We were hoping you would get Connor away from your sister, but you screwed that up,” Hank yelled.
“Wait a minute, I may have some brain damage at the moment, but I thought you loved Connor? Buffy mentioned something about it,” I mumble, still not connecting the dots.
I hear a sigh on the other end. “Love is complicated boy! I do love that child, however; we need to know what he is. You understand. I do not approve of what you did to your sister though. We did not want Angelus dead, no matter your own personal vendetta,” Hank snarled.
I just started laughing until I grabbed my ribs.
“Gets better and better,” I mutter.
“Dawn, please go back to your room,” Hank whispered in a soft voice.
I grinned, so little sis number two doesn’t know about dear old dad either. Of course, that would make three of us until this little bomb was dropped on my lap. Hank is a senior partner? Kind of explains a lot.
“What do you want?” I asked softly.
“Lilah is dead,” Hank chuckled.
My eyes widened. Lilah was dead. Sure she’s a bitch, but she was one tough broad. How could she be dead?
“How?” I stutter.
“Angelus,” Hank laughed.
Well, that confused me. “Angel would not kill Lilah.”
“I said Angelus, pay attention.”
“Look, I don’t want to know anymore. Where is Buffy?” I snarl, getting very annoyed at dear old dad.
“Weeping over her lover's ashes,” Hank said softly.
“Conner?”
“With his mother....You will get close to your sister again and watch the boy,” Hank demanded and hung up.
I sat there, staring at the phone in my hands. What the hell was going on? Dear old Dad was a senior partner? Angelus was dead! Lilah is dead! Buffy, God what she must be going through? I wonder about Darla. Sure, there was no love lost between us. Well, maybe a little bit. I felt something towards her. I close my eyes. Well, can’t do much with this fucking pain.
TBC…
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