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Author: Juliette
Disclaimer: Joss is God, Joss is King, Joss our Lord owns everything!
Note: This is a Secret Santa for Kelly Rowe :) Merry Christmas! Even if it's a little late...
Summary: Buffy never returned to Sunnydale when she ran away and stayed in L.A. with Anne. After four years she meets the Scooby Gang, again.
#2 Note: I'm German and have no Beta, so there will be bunches of mistakes. Sorry for that :(
Dedication: To Kelly, of course! :)
Feedback: P-L-E-A-S-E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*****
//You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen when your heart's not open
You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken when your heart's not open\\
She was standing on the stage of Caritas. She often went here when she needed information or was simply depressed. Like now. Always when she was alone at night and it rained, the memories pulled her into agony.
After all this time, she learned to feel save when she sang. It was somehow calming to know that when she sang somebody could just simply see what she's going through. Even when she never really let him see her fully. It was at least a lot easier than telling people what's on her mind. And Lorne could help her a lot. She could trust him with her thoughts. And in the past four years they'd grown good friends.
//Mmm-mm-mm... If I could melt your heart
Mmm-mm-mm... We'd never be apart
Mmm-mm-mm... Give yourself to me
Mmm-mm-mm... You are the key\\
Her hips swayed, driving every male in the room crazy. The black hair letting her face seem pale. She wore tight worn out jeans, black velvet top and a matching leather coat.
// Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should I'd suffer the same
If I lose you, my heart would be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurtinside of you die
You're frozen when your heart's not open//
//Mmm-mm-mm... If I could melt your heart
Mmm-mm-mm... We'd never be apart
Mmm-mm-mm... Give yourself to me
Mmm-mm-mm... You are the key//
//You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen when your heart's not open\\
And when she closed her eyes, the bittersweet memories of her Angel returned to her mind. It was very rare, these days that she allowed her feeling to come out to the surface. Normally she played the strong slayer. The girl that never let herself go and could do everything.
//Mmm-mm-mm... If I could melt your heart
Mmm-mm-mm... We'd never be apart
Mmm-mm-mm... Give yourself to me
Mmm-mm-mm... You are the key//
//Mmm-mm-mm... If I could melt your heart
Mmm-mm-mm... We'd never be apart
Mmm-mm-mm... Give yourself to me
Mmm-mm-mm... You are the key//
//If I could melt your heart\\
The various demons, vampires and humans applauded and she headed for Lorne while noticing Fred and Thomas, a kid outta the Teen Shelter, sitting at a table near the door. She chuckled when she realised that Thomas was fast asleep.
"That was awesome, Darling!" The Host told the not so blonde slayer.
"Thank you." Buffy smiled at him and took a seat at the bar. "What did you see?"
"One question first: Are you singing to another, or to yourself?" Lorne asked her.
Buffy took a deep breath. "To myself. It's how I feel."
To Lorne, Buffy was a mystery. She was the only human being whose soul he couldn't read completely. He only knew the few things she was willing to show. He could read every other being like an opened book when they sang, but Buffy closed herself up like nobody else.
All he knew was that the slayer mourned over the love of her life. Her soul was craving for it's other half. She'd done something that made him go away and she couldn't forgive herself for that. And there was one word in her mind that went round and round. A word he saw when he first met her. Angel. He supposed that was his name. Or her name. It was a girl's name, after all. He just couldn't picture Buffy as a lesbian, though.
"You're sad. There are memories you won't let go." Was all Lorne could answer her.
"Geeze, Lorne, I knew that before!" Buffy mumbled.
"I'm sorry, Love. But I can't help you. You have to slay this demon on your own." The Host told her sincerely.
Buffy sighed dramatically. "Well, thank you anyways." Then she got up from her seat.
"Oh, and sweetie?" Lorne called her back.
"Yeah?"
"Why did you colour your hair black? It looks wonderful. But what was wrong with the blonde?" The Host wanted to know.
"He liked it blonde." Buffy replied simply and walked towards her friends, leaving Lorne wondering.
*****
"So, what do we know? And facts, please!" Xander said.
"A Gang" Tara said.
"A demon Gang" Willow corrected. "No, more so: An All-Evil Cooperation!"
"Gouls, Fish-monsters, vampires, Layoks, Deevacs, Hell-Hounds, Polgaras, Kralics, Grahils, Racols, and other demons." Giles sighed, placing the book he just read on the counter of the magic box and cleaning his glasses.
"Short: An army of demons that wanna burn down Sunnydale!" Xander translated. "And we still have no idea who's their leader or how we're gonna stop them all."
"It could be an oversized Bunny that wants to eat the earth!" Anya suggested.
All eyes turned to her.
"I say we've got a problem." Angel stated while placing a blanket over Dawn's sleeping form.
Since Buffy wasn't there Angel was the leader of the Scooby Gang ever since the fight against the mayor. The Scoobies had been afraid, angry, wary and mad at him. They had simply felt betrayed; he could understand all that. He had tried to kill the all, had killed one of them and tortured another. Then he'd returned from Hell, but Buffy kept missing. They'd been convinced that it was his fault Buffy had ran away. Had pretended that he alone was the reason for her absence and had shut him out. Most of all, Joyce had been a master in blaming him with all the wrongs that had happened. But when Faith had changed sides and run over to the enemy, the Scooby Gang had turned to him and asked him for help. He'd stepped in eagerly, wanting to make his wrongs at least a little paler.
Ever since that, he'd taken over his love's duties. He patrolled every night, he fought the apocalypse and looked after Dawn, now that Joyce was dead.
It had crushed Dawn. And that one night, Buffy had returned to Sunnydale, visiting her mother's grave and comforting her little sister before disappearing again. Nobody had known that but Dawn. And she'd kept it a secret for months.
He knew now, that Buffy Summers knew about him being back from hell. But she'd never shown up. That had hurt him the most. That she hadn't cared to at least see him one last time.
God, he missed her.
He desperately needed to see her green-hazel eyes again, to feel her soft full lips against his own, to smell her unique vanilla scent, to taste the sweet flavour her kisses were, to hear her beautifully soft voice.
Dawn stirred in her sleep before mumbling something not even Angel could understand and sat up. Lifting herself onto the counter.
"I'd say we really need help!" Anya said. "They are too many! We can't possibly do this alone!"
The Scooby Gang was in the Magic Box, seated around the huge table. Angel paced restlessly around the room and Anya hovered as always behind the cash. Dawn was sitting on the counter now, a little sleepy and munching on a box of cookies.
Dawn lived with Angel these days. He and Willow & Tara had moved into the Summer's house after Joyce's death. Tara and Willow occupied Joyce's old room. Angel had managed to get the basement to a liveable small apartment. He'd been offered Buffy's room, but he hadn't dared to move or even touch her belongings. So he'd simply left 'em untouched and moved into the basement. Doyle and Giles had managed to get legally custody over Dawn for him. Together with Buffy. At least on paper. He always hated faking her signature.
And although nobody had ever been able to find Buffy, they knew that the youngest Summers girl had contact to her sister. But she wouldn't tell. Mostly because she really had no idea where she was.
"F-first of all, we need to know where exactly they are."
"I know a place. A bar whose Host can read souls. I think he could help us!" Doyle told Angel.
"Read souls?" Angel asked surprised.
"Yeah. Dunno how. It's in LA. We try that?" Doyle remarked.
"Let's try that!" Xander grinned.
*****
"Where's Buff's shadow?" Pike asked, sprawled over the couch in the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel.
"Fred's upstairs. Or out. I think." Anne shrugged, leafing through a romance-novel.
"Why shadow?" Wesley's head peaked out of Buffy's office.
"Oh, C'mon, Wes! You never noticed? Winifred Burke follows Buffy like a kitten its mommy!" Pike told the ex-watcher.
"Ever since Buffy's gotten her outta Lorne's dimension. Which'd be two years ago, English!" Gunn commented.
"But she's gotten better!" Wes insisted. "She's her own person, now!"
"Yup, Girl's cool." Gunn agreed.
"Speaking of. Where's the slayer, herself?" Pike asked Anne.
"She wanted to go to Caritas after patrol." Anne answered, still not giving much attention.
The Hyperion was a large building. It hadn't been occupied for decades, which could lie on a fact that a demon had lives here that made the people crazy. Buffy had bought it from the money she'd found in a bag in the basement.
The building had quite it's history, she knew that from Judy - the old woman that had died in her arms, here. And after a bit of research she'd found out that even the love of her life had spent a time, here. Before they hanged him, that was. And honestly, she couldn't forgive this people that. She could only imagine how he must have felt. So betrayed and alone.
That had made her buy the hotel, because in a way it made her feel nearer to him than stalking him in Sunnydale.
And that was exactly what she needed, because she missed him so much. Longed for him. Ached for him.
She'd thought that with the time passing, the pain would fade away. That she'd learn how to go on without him. That she'd manage to not think about him every single moment of her life.
And every day she was tempted to go to him. Beg him to take her back.
But was she brave enough to do this?
The answer was simple: no. She was too afraid that he wouldn't be able to forgive her. She *killed* him. And she had to live with this as long as she walked that earth. Nothing would ever change that. She just wouldn't stand being rejected by him. Or worse, seeing him with another woman.
And with those thoughts she entered her home, having overheard their conversation. "Fred and Thomas are at the Deli buying things for tomorrow's breakfast."
"Speak of the devil!" Gunn chuckled.
"Hey guys" She said and plopped down onto the couch. "Watcha doin'?" She asked massaging her temples.
Anne looked at her concerned and touched Buffy's forehead with her palm. "God, you're burning up! Go the hell back to bed! You're still ill!"
Buffy groaned. "I'm okay!" She told her family stubbornly. That's what they were. Her family. Wesley, Anne, Pike, Fred, Gunn and the whole Teen Shelter.
"You don't look okay!" Gunn remarked. "C'mon, bed-time! Don't play with your health like this. You still have a few broken bones and your pneumonia is not that faded, yet!"
"I'm healthy!" The Slayer protested - and coughed strongly.
And with that her watcher dragged her upstairs into her room. Room 217.
*****
"Something tells me that I don't feel comfortable in this bar!" Xander commented, standing between two large horrible-looking demons.
"Me, neither!" Doyle remarked, commenting about the horrible-singing slime-demon on stage. It seemed that the thing had never ever in his life heard about such a thing called 'rhythm' in his entire life!
"Welcome to Caritas!" The Host said to them in a much gay-ish voice. "Hello Doyle, dearie. Haven't seen you in a while!" The green-skinned demon smiled sweetly.
"Well, I haven't been around much, lately." Doyle shrugged. "I'm living on the Hellmouth, now. That's quite the fulltime job!" The half-demon defended himself.
"Oh, I know, honey. I know." The host smiled. "So, you're the famous demon with the soul? What can I do for you?"
Angel felt very uncomfortable under his look. It seemed like that demon was looking right through him. "I need to find out who is the leader of the demon-gang, we're about to face." The dark-haired vampire said monotone.
"Well," The Host smirked. "What do you want to sing then, Angel-cakes?"
"Sing? SING? I-I have to *SING*?" Angel exclaimed.
"How do you know his name?" Giles asked suspectly. "He didn't tell you!"
"I know everything!" Lorne smiled. "And a friend of mine likes to share." Or not, considering that you can't exactly say that Buffy's a lot for the opening up thing. But he knew for sure that this had to be Angel. His soul matched perfectly to her's. This was the slayer's true love.
But other than the newly-dark-haired girl he could read the vampire's soul like an open novel.
"So? What is it then? Mandy? Wonderwall?" The Host asked. "Maybe Frozen? A friend of mine once sang Paper Bag by Fiona Apple! That would match you, too! It's a wonderful song!" Lorne wouldn't tell him that Buffy was this friend, though.
"Why can't somebody else sing?" Angel whined. "Giles can sing!"
Lorne smiled at that. As stubborn as his soulmate. "You're the leader of your group. You have to sing."
"I don't sing!"
"Angel C'mon! Sing! How bad can it be?" Doyle tried. "No singing - no information!"
Angel turned around and glared at the Scoobies. "There're three things I don't do! Sunbathing, date and singing in public!"
"Oh, dammit! Get over yourself! We need to know who we're fighting!" Cordy snapped.
"There's no way around?" Angel whined helplessly.
"Sorry, sweetie." Lorne said.
"Hero" Was all Angel said before walking to the stage relucantly.
"HERO?!" Cordy exclaimed. Lorne only smiled and watched Angel taking the mike.
//Would you dance
If I asked you to dance?
Would you run
And never look back?
Would you cry
If you saw me crying?
And would you
Save my soul, tonight?\\
Giles only grimaced and Xander burst out laughing. Angel sang simply horrible! His voice broke several times and he couldn't hold one tone. Now they understood why he didn't sing in public...
Lorne flinched visibly, but it was also very interesting to him, because with Angel's soul in front of him, everything that confused him about Buffy's fell into place. He could understand her finally, because Angel understood her. The mystery that was Buffy Summers was lifted.
//Would you tremble
If I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh, please tell me this
Now would you die
For the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight\\
He saw everything. The doomed lover's first meeting. Their first kiss, their first date. Their first dance. Their first time together and the horrible change in her life after their first and only night. Lorne saw her killing him and how she came to L.A. after that.
So, this was what she couldn't forgive herself for! This were the memories she couldn't let go! Well, obviously he couldn't let 'em go, either!
He watched him when he returned from hell and how he became the leader of the Scooby Gang and their following adventures.
He saw how the witches removed the loophole out of the curse.
//I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away//
//Would you swear
That you'll always be mine
Or would you lie?
Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight//
//I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away\\
Lorne just knew he had to do something. Those two souls belonged to each other, they were lost when they were apart.
God, Buffy will hate him for this.
With that he dialled the number of the Hyperion Hotel.
//Oh, I just want to hold you
I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well, I don't care...
You're here tonight//
//I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away//
//I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away//
//I can be your hero\\
And when Angel stopped, there was an awkward silence before people began to applaud reluctantly.
They were equally touched by his words and creped out by his badly singing-skills.
Angel walked down from the stage and a blue-skinned demon took over the microphone, singing Tears in heaven.
"Did you know that Eric Clapton wrote this song after his son fell out of the window?" Tara asked nobody in particular, only to ease the silence that had settled over them.
"That was... interesting." Giles patted Angel's back fatherly.
"Yup, interesting." Xander smirked goofily.
"Thanks." Angel mumbled and turned to Lorne who had just ended his phone-conversation. "What can you tell me?" The vampire asked the green-skinned demon.
"You're missing your mate like hell." Lorne told him.
"Not that. I mean the demon danger." Angel grumbled. "'sides, that's none of your business!"
Lorne smirked at that. "Well, you've got quite the army after you. I'll tell you more, later. But you'll definitely need help with this one. I called a few friends of mine. I think they will be a big help to you, sweetie." Lorne told the souled vampire.
"I-I don't think we need any-" Giles began but was interrupted by the Host.
"They are already on their way" Lorne told them and walked towards the blue-skinned demon who had just finished his song.
*****
"Oh, I will *so* kill Lorne!" Anne cursed on their way to Caritas. "How dare he destroy all our hard work getting her to rest!" She pointed towards Buffy who walked behind them and looked really ill.
"Calm down, Anne." Gunn chuckled.
They were eight people. Gunn, Anne, Bethany, Wesley, Pike and Buffy. And Peter and Thomas, two guys outta the Teen Shelter.
Buffy Summers ran the Teen Shelter together with Anne. She trained all the kids that have lost their parents and friends because of the vampires. She trained all those that got ripped out of their dream world and into the horrible reality. She taught them different fighting skills and knowledge about various demons and famous vampires. And she gave them a home in the Hyperion.
Buffy's own strength had grown a great deal over the years. But what nobody knew was, that she was a born witch. She'd known ever since she was six when her grandma had died. The thing with the witch-line is, that the magic skips every second generation. That was why her mom never had that talent. But Buffy had never used it. She'd been too afraid to. She had thought that she could only hurt people with it. That was why Bethany, the girl with all the telepathy stuff going on, had cured her from that fear.
Seeing a girl with a talent as strong as her's who could control her power in the end gave her hope. So she began training her mind and using her magic. She was now a very powerful witch. A very few people knew, though. And she didn't use her power often. But she could when she wanted to. And that thought was somehow comforting. It told her, that in a way, she could handle everything.
Thinking about it, then Bethany hadn't been the only one saving her once. Anne did as well, in her own way, by forcing her to help those kids, training them and opening the Shelter. And Wesley had saved her, too. He'd shown her that there were still men in this world you could actually turn to. Like a father. Although they'd had a very bad start.
God, how she'd hated him.
When he'd first shown up she'd been so afraid that he'd tell her family and friends in Sunnydale where she was. He'd ordered and barked and had been so very strict and stiff until she'd quit the council. After they'd fired him, Wes became a better man. He'd changed.
Dawn had also saved her. Her little Dawnie. Her beloved baby sister. She was the only one she'd always held contact to. When their mom had died, she'd almost died herself. She'd been so guilty for not having been there and so down. But she'd known that she had had to be strong for her little sister and that had kept her together.
And God knows how many times Angel had saved her.
Anne stopped out of a sudden and Buffy walked straight into her with a big loud 'bump' and they both fell to the ground, being caught by both Pike and Gunn.
"Woah, Damnit! Annie! What's wrong?" Buffy grumbled. She felt sick.
"I forgot to switch off the coffee-machine!" Anne whined.
They groaned loudly and Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'll go switch it off. I can use the air, anyways. I'll join you guys at Caritas, later. Find out what Lorne wants." She ordered and walked back the way they came from.
*****
"Ah, finally." Lorne remarked when he saw Wesley enter the room, followed by the others. He was very disappointed to see that Buffy wasn't among them, though.
"She's coming. Anne forgot to switch off the coffee-machine." Pike explained as if reading his thoughts.
"Oh, good, good." Lorne chirped. "Good, then. Angel-cakes, these are the heads of the L.A. East Hills Teen Shelter. They are well-trained and very strong fighters and keep Los Angeles worth living. They will be a good help to you."
"Hello? Lorne!" Gunn said a little angry. "Stop making our decisions! Who says we'll help! Buffy will SO kill you for this!" Gunn huffed.
Xander chocked on the coke he was drinking and the rest of the Scoobies looked shocked at each other. Buffy? Had he said BUFFY will SO kill him? Angel only stared at Gunn.
"Buffy?" Xander asked, not daring to hope. He suddenly very wished that Willow would be there. But no, Willow was staying with Dawn at the motel they were checked in. "Buffy Summers? The Vampire Slayer?"
"Of course!" Pike answered as if Xander was crazy. "The one and only. Or not so only. There's Faith!"
"You know about the second slayer?" Giles asked them. "Does Buffy know about her, too?"
"Buff knows everything we know! She's our boss!" Thomas told the Scoobies annoyed.
"Faith came here two years ago or so. She was so crazy and so mad at Buffy without reason and tortured her for hours." Anne explained to the strangers. She was surprised to see the tall dark-haired handsome guy flinch and growl at the same time. It looked like he wasn't too fond of Faith. "Buffy saved her and helped her and then Faith made a confession and they put her into jail. Buffy visits her twice a week."
"How is Buffy?" Angel whispered.
"She's Buffy!" Pike answered. "Who are you guys?"
"We're friends of her's." Xander mumbled. He couldn't stand these guys. They acted as if they were her family.
And in this particular moment Anne recognised both Angel and Xander. But there was one missing. The red head. "I know you. You're from Sunnydale, right?" Then she turned to Lorne as if she remembered something. "I hate you by the way! We had to work SO hard to make her rest and then you called. She's ill, goddamnit! And you knew that!"
"She's ill? What's wrong with her?" Giles asked concerned.
"She had a pneumonia a couple days ago that's not really cured, yet and a really hard fight that left her with a broken hip, wrist, three broken ribs and a scratched arm." Wesley answered matter of factly.
Giles could clearly hear the English accent in the other man's voice and knew immediately that this had to be Buffy's new watcher. He already hated him. "But she's okay, I hope?"
"No, she isn't!" Anne insisted. "She acts as if, but she isn't and she just won't rest!" The blonde whined and as if on cue, the slayer entered Caritas. Angel's eyes were fixed on her immediately. She looked magnificent. She still moved with the same grace she'd always had, but her face looked awfully pale and she looked sick. Gone were the short golden locks, replaced by long welled dark silk, but she still looked completely stunning. Her outfit was all black and her coat swayed behind her with her moves.
And when her eyes set upon his, he could clearly see the shock in them, but she covered it quickly. Instead she walked strayed to the Host and pulled him with her by his ear into the next room.
"What the HELL have you DONE?" Buffy screeched.
"Well, I brought you two kind of back together!" Lorne said. "You should thank me." He whined.
"THANK you? Lorne, I TRUSTED you. I let you read me so often and I let things out that I never let people see, before. And I thought I could trust you. I thought you were my friend and now you pull out THIS stunt!" Buffy ranted.
"Honey, this is the solution to your problems! Talk to him!" Lorne tried.
"What did you do? Called him? ‚Hello, I'm a friend of Buffy's, the girl who hid from you for years, do you want to know where she is?" Buffy yelped.
"No. He came here for help. He DOES need your help. He's facing an ARMY of demons." Lorne told the slayer. "Will you help him?"
"I don't know." Buffy held her hands over her head in her hair. "I don't know. I only know that I hate you now!" She glared at him. "HOW COULD YOU!"
*****
They could still hear Buffy yell from the outside and Anne was laughing her head off.
"She'll kill him." Gunn stated.
"Who are you?" Xander asked.
"We?" Beth asked back. Xander only nodded. "We're her family. The Teen Shelter." Bethany answered them.
She was a little taken aback, because all of the Scoobies stiffened and looked at each other the moments the words left her mouth.
"How's Buffy doing? In L.A., I mean." Xander asked further.
"Oh, she's like the queen of the city. Everybody knows her and respects her. Where she is, you're save." Pike told them proudly. Angel only glared at the blonde guy.
"W-what's a T-teen Shelter?" Tara asked shyly. Although she'd never met Buffy in person, she knew her through and through, because Dawn used to talk so much about her.
"Buffy and I opened the Shelter four years ago after we met Gunn and Alonna. They'd just lost their parents, because of vampires and Buffy began training Gunn and helped him find work. After that we had to realize how many homeless kids are out there who's happened the same to. So Buffy bought this Hotel and we took all this kids and Buffy thought ‚em how to fight and research and stuff. We're good, I tell you. Buffy says most of us are better than some of the past slayers!" Anne told them. "We've faced a lot. Dracula, for example. And Wolfram and Hart is always after her. They've tried to kill her for years, now!"
"Wolfram and Hart?" Angel asked.
"Evil law-firm!" Gunn translated shrugging.
"BETH? COULD YOU *PLEASE* LET A TRUCK RUN OVER LORNE?" Buffy's voice came out of the next room.
Wesley only chuckled when Buffy came out with Lorne in tow.
She walked towards them and stopped next to Pike who laid an arm around her shoulders.
"Where's Dawn? And Willow?" Buffy asked in a small voice.
"Dawn's at a motel we're occupying. Willow's looking after her. I thought it was better to leave her there. This might have been to dangerous for her." Angel explained to her warmly.
Buffy only nodded and coughed a little which made Pike pull her closer. "You okay?" He asked.
Angel wanted nothing more than to rip the guy's throat out. How dare he touch his girl!
"I'm okay!" Buffy replied. "Lorne, we still need to talk!" Buffy told the Host angrily. "But before that, you're giving me just any drug you have that makes the pain go away." Buffy mumbled before plopping down onto a stool.
"So, what do you need our help for?" Wesley asked the Scoobies warmly. He seemed to have gotten who these people in front of him were. The Scooby Gang. Buffy's past. And who was he to be mean to the people who were once everything to the girl he loved like a daughter?
"We're facing a demon-army!" Anya chirped happily.
Buffy only cocked an eyebrow at her.
"How many?" The younger watcher asked further.
Giles explained their situation to the other watcher and they began to make theories and plans. But where Wesley was nice and polite, Giles tried everything to seem smarter and better than the other watcher. The dislike was like written all over his face.
But that didn't matter to Angel. Much. But Buffy was another story. She looked so small and fragile and lost with the pale color of her skin and her thin figure and small voice that were the side affects of her illness.
But what bothered him most was that she avoided eye-contact with him. Where he stared at her openly, she always turned away embarrassed when he caught her watching him. He hadn't been able to look into her eyes so far. Instead she was clinging to the glass of water in her hand and the guy to her left. Pike. He remembered now. He'd seen him before, when he'd watched Buffy becoming the slayer. This was her ex-boyfriend. He just hoped he wasn't her ex ex-boyfriend.
But what he saw told him different. They were all clingy and touchy like. They looked definitely like a couple.
If there wouldn't be the ‚non weapons and violence' sign, he'd already have attacked the blond man.
"We need to do further research." Wesley stated.
"We have a few books outside in our car." Giles told the other man coldly.
And all of them got up to leave the bar, but not before Buffy could turn back to the Host and glare at him. "We're not finished, yet! You'll get this back!" She warned critically.
"Yeah, Yeah. Whatever." Lorne grinned. "Love you. Take care!" He yelled after her but they had already left the building. And he was left wondering once again.
*****
"So," They were standing in the alley near Caritas. "Where is your car?" Buffy asked.
"I-It was supposed to be right, here!" Cordy defended herself, glancing at Angel from time to time. "I parked it, here!"
"Cordy, WHERE is my car?" Angel asked in a dangerously low voice.
"Well, looks like someone stole it!" Thomas grinned.
"Oh god, please no!" Xander whined desperately.
"Calm down, there're only a few guys doing this in that part of town. I can get it back, for you." Buffy told the Scoobies. "What does it look like?"
"It's a big black 67 Plymouth convertible." Angel told her, trying to look into her eyes.
She giggled at that. "You're driving a convertible?" Buffy grinned.
*****
They walked into a lot of car's towards a small house at the end.
"We can go. They don't have Angel's car!" Cordy told them, scanning the place.
"They park the new ones in the garage." Buffy told her over her shoulder. "HENRY!" She stopped a man who was about to exit the place by yelling after him. "67 Plymouth?"
"Sorry, Luv. I'd have noticed if I had a convertible, here." Henry glared at her.
"Oh yeah? And what's with the red one over there? I think Mrs. Jenkins is missing it for a while now!" Buffy told the guy icily.
Henry only shrugged.
"Jack get your car's elsewhere, but leave the neighbourhood car's alone, understand?" Buffy warned.
Henry chuckled at that. "I'm human, you won't hurt me."
"Try me." Buffy grinned suddenly. "You DO know that one of my best friends is a high police officer, don't you?"
Henry's eyes went wide. "Desmond's your man. He's at a party at Tito's." The older man said in a rush.
"Good boy, thank you." Buffy charmed smiling and backed up towards the entrance.
"That was... inspiring." Giles commented.
"That was nothing. You should see her when she's really on fire." Pike told the Scoobies and Angel felt the urge to kill him returning again.
*****
They walked all together towards a house where definitely a party was going on. Tito's homey house.
The music could be heard even two blocks away and the house was so full that even outside people were still standing.
"Buff!" A guy yelled happily and Buffy moved forward to hug him. "How've you been?"
"Been better." She smiled at the man and in the background Desmond tried to sneak out of the building. "Move and I'll send Gunn after you!" She told him without turning around.
The Scoobies were impressed to say the least. Buffy was like ruling the town. They were even more surprised to see that Desmond was so afraid of Buffy that they were sure he'd have showed them the way to Angel's car if Buffy wouldn't have sent him home.
The dark-haired slayer came back with Angel's car keys in her hand. "Cordelia, I can't believe you left the keys in the car!" Buffy said, shaking her head.
"I-I forgot 'em! This happened to me so often in Sunnydale and there never happened anything!" Cordy whined.
"Well, this is L.A., Barbie! Not small town." Gunn snapped at her.
"I'm NO Barbie!" Cordy slapped Gunn across his arm.
"Ow! Hey! She slapped me!" Gunn yelped.
*****
"Hot car." Buffy grinned. "Now, that I finally see it. So, tell me again. Why does a vampire drive a convertible?"
To the Scoobies surprise, nobody of the guys in front of him seemed surprised by this revelation. As if they all perfectly knew who was standing in front of them. And thinking about it, they probably did. Wesley said, only a few minutes ago, Giles's full name. Although nobody had told him that.
"Okay, since you guys have a car, I'd say you take it. We'll take a walk to there. You know, I don't think we fit in that car all together..." Buffy said. "We can research much better at my place." Buffy went on. "Oh, and you better get Willow and Dawn…cause when you're staying at that creepy motel you said you checked in, then they're really NOT save there. We killed a bunch of vampires there only yesterday. They have their nest in that motel."
"O-okay." Angel stammered. "So, we meet at your place. Where is it?"
"Huh?" Buffy was taken aback.
"Your place." Angel said, again trying to catch her eye. "Where do you live, Buffy?"
That was it. The question she'd feared. Oh, how often had Dawn asked her this question. She'd always managed to avoid the answer. Now she wouldn't. Now came the moment where they would find out where she was. And that meant they'd always know, from now on…
"Hyperion Hotel. You should know how to find it." Buffy said in a whisper. And although she didn't look into his eyes, she saw the shock in them. Yes, she noticed that she avoided eye-contact. She'd done that all night by now. But how could she look into his eyes? She had killed him, god damn it. And she was sure, she'd loose it when she looked into his eyes and all she'd see would be love and forgiveness. How could she possibly handle this?
"Meet you there?" She asked Giles instead, because she wasn't able to confront Angel now.
"Yes." Giles smiled at her. Really truly smiled at her. Yes, you got that right. She'd looked into his eyes and she'd seen the love a father held for his daughter in them. Giles had the same look Wesley had whenever he looked at her. God, why did her life had to be THIS confusing?
"Kay" Buffy said and turned around to walk home. "Someone will open the door for you. There's always someone home." Buffy yelled back to the Scoobies before disappearing into the next street along with her friends.
"So these are the Scoobies?" Pike asked her the moment they were out of sight.
"Yes, these are my best bud's in Sunnydale. God, that's so confusing." Buffy groaned. "I already have a headache, why does this crap has to add itself to that? I really can't do this now. How am I gonna face a demon gang this big with a broken hip cage? I'm SO gonna die!" Buffy ranted.
Gunn chuckled. "Pft. You can do that. You killed a vampire gang all on your own with a pneumonia and fever. You can handle everything, and when it's too difficult for you, then you can always still use magic. 'Sides, we're all behind your back and you can still call Kate and Spike." He comforted her.
"Exactly. Spike'll be here in a heartbeat, fighting by your sight. The guy's in love with you. He'd die for you. And Kate has a lot of guns and I can kill people with flying objects!" Bethany smiled at Buffy and pulled her towards her, lying an arm around her waist.
"You're right. I can handle this." Buffy smiled back at Beth and rested her head in the collar of Bethany's neck. The headache was killing her!
"Think about it." Wesley told her. "We're the whole Teen Shelter, a police officer, a lovesick vampire and your Scooby Gang. They'll never see it coming. They expect like ten people. They'll be too surprised to fight in the first place!" The ex-watcher told his charge.
*****
"Oh my god. Where does Buffy get the money from to buy SUCH a house?" Xander whined. "I mean, I work SO hard, and I am SO poor."
"Yes, he is. I already earn more money in the Magic Box than he does!" Anya nodded.
"Well, somebody should go inside!" Willow said. "I mean, when we want to research we should go inside."
They were standing in front of the entrance to the Hyperion Hotel.
"Yes we should do that." Giles said before grabbing the doorknob and finding it closed. "So, where's the bell?" He asked then.
"Here." Dawn said before pushing the little button. They could hear the sound ring through the entire building and could see the silhouette of a person coming towards the door from the inside.
"Hi." Fred said shyly. "You must be the Scooby Gang. Buffy already called me with her mobile." The brown-haired girl said. "I'm Fred. Please come in." With that she opened the door further and led the Scoobies into the lobby. "Buffy said I should tell you to feel like home. I can bring you something to drink if you want. You can begin with your research. Buffy's office is right over there, but I would use the lobby in your place. We always research in the lobby." Fred babbled.
Willow, Dawn, Tara and Anya made themselves comfortable on the couches while Xander and Giles gawked at the furniture and large hall. They could only imagine how big the entire place was.
Angel could clearly feel other person's in this place. Some sleeping, some not. He could hear a few in the kitchen and Fred was like running from one place to the other.
He gently pushed open the door to Buffy's office and entered the room, careful to not brake anything. It was like a sacred thing to him, eyeing her belongings. There were several weapons hanging on the wall and many stakes shattered on the shelf next to the door. There were also many books all over the place, even more than there had been books in the library which was quite difficult. On the table were many files and other papers and on the table was a framed picture of what he imagined to be the whole Teen Shelter and one of Dawn. He sat down into the leather chair behind her desk and leafed through a book that was lying opened beside her keyboard. Other than all the other books in the room, this one was non- demon-y. It was poetry. Romance-poetry. And when a picture fell out of the book he bent down to pick it up again and was surprised to see a painting of himself. He knew the picture, he'd seen it in several books about vampires a lot of times.
He quickly stuffed it back into the book and laid it aside when he heard someone come towards the room and opening the door, switching on the light.
"Angel" Buffy breathed and stopped dead in her tracks, surprised to find him sitting in her office.
"Buffy" He replied unsure. "I was... I just... You're back already? I-I thought you'd need longer." He stammered and nearly jumped out of her chair.
"It wasn't really far away from here. 'Sides I'm the slayer. I'm a fast runner." Buffy said.
"Oh." Was all Angel answered. "I-I was just looking around a bit. You've quite the archive of books, here." He babbled unsure. "I'm sorry for looking through your stuff." He apologized.
"It's okay." Buffy smiled. "You're welcome. It's not like I have any stuff that I need to hide from others." Buffy told him. She just hoped he hadn't found her book. Or if he did, she hoped he hadn't found the drawing.
"I... - You're beautiful." Angel said suddenly before he could stop the words.
Buffy blushed furiously. "Thanks." She mumbled. "You look quite handsome yourself. Although you haven't changed a bit from when I last saw you." She whispered. And finally looked into his eyes.
They were even more breathtaking than he remembered.
"Why have you colored your hair?" Angel asked. "I-I mean, it looks completely stunning. I like it. It kind of suits you."
Buffy took a deep breath. "I don't know." She lied. "I think I just wanted a change. But it's only a one time thing. I do it quite regularly. The color's gone once I've showered, though. That is when I don't color it anew." She explained. "But that speech's surely boring you to death." She smiled. "Didn't you want to research your demon gang?"
"Y-yes." He said quickly and exited her office.
When Buffy exited her office as well, Dawn practically flew into her arms and held onto her for dear life until Buffy hugged her back. "Dawnie, I can't breath!" Buffy finally chocked.
"I'm sorry." Dawn pulled back slightly. "I've missed you." Dawn said before pulling back fully.
"I love you." Buffy smiled at her and tucked a strand of hair behind Dawn's ear.
"Hey Willow." Buffy smiled at her former best friend.
"Hey." Willow whispered back.
"Fred?" Buffy called, she'd closed the door behind her and walked into the lobby.
Fred was nearly running into the room. "Yes?"
"Can you please bring me a cup of coffee? And an aspirin?" Buffy pleaded.
"Of course." Fred beamed and disappeared into the kitchen.
Buffy groaned pain filled and let her head sink onto the counter.
"I have a question." Doyle turned to Buffy, surrounded by several piles of books.
"Then ask." Buffy said, her voice muffled by the material of the counter.
"Why do you know the Host's name? I know him for many years now and he never told me. But you all seem to know it. Why?" Doyle asked the slayer.
"Oh, you know- the Host comes from a dimension where they have no music and two suns and humans are called ‚cows' and treated like that and Bethany got sucked into this dimension and we went after her to rescue her and met Lorne's parents and they called him by his name. That's how we know his name. And that's how we met Fred, she was held as a slave in that dimension for five years and we got her out of there." Buffy told them just when Fred had entered and brought Buffy's coffee.
"Buffy was wonderful! She rescued me!" Fred beamed happily.
Pike chuckled. "NUMFAR, DO THE DANCE OF JOY!" He joked.
Buffy laughed at that. "NUMFAR, NO LONGER DO THE DANCE OF JOY!" She giggled (For those who doesn't know: Re-watch this scene with the knowledge that JOSS is Numfar!!)
Anne smacked Buffy on the leg. "Hey, I wanted to say that!" The blonde whined.
"NUMFAR, DO THE DANCE OF HONOR!" Pike laughed.
"I miss Plyea." Beth dreamt.
"I don't" Fred shook her head.
"I do!" Bethany grinned.
"May lie on the fact that you were a queen there and Fred a cow." Pike remarked.
"A queen?" Willow asked confused. "I thought humans were cows!"
"Beth can do telepathy. They thought she was some kind of god." Gunn told the red head.
"Oh." Willow replied, still not understanding.
"So?" Buffy interrupted them. "What have you got about the demons?"
"Not much. We still don't know who's their leader." Giles sighed and cleaned his glasses. Buffy smiled. Still her same old Giles.
"Didn't Lorne tell you? He told me!" Buffy said surprised.
"Tell us what?" Xander asked.
"Dru. She's their leader." The Slayer told them.
*****
"What?!" Angel yelped. "Dru?"
"Yes." Buffy confirmed. "I mean, that's not so uncommon. She made us trouble over the last two years with teaming up with W & H." Buffy told Angel.
"W & H?" Angel asked confused.
"Wolfram and Hart." Pike said without looking up from his book. "That chick was pretty tough. She's nuts! Did you know you can vamp BIRDS!"
Gunn burst out laughing and Buffy couldn't hide her grin at that. "Dru vamped a chicken, a duck and a bunny!" She told the Scoobies giggling. "Have you any idea how hard it is to find a chicken's heart?"
"Aaaaah!" Anya screamed terrified. "She v-vamped a BUNNY? I-Is it still running around?"
Pike lost it then and couldn't even hold the book in his hands anymore. "No." He said between laugher. "Buffy hunted it down." He told them laughing. "God, you should have seen that!"
"That's NOT funny!" Buffy smacked him pouting. "That was bloody difficult!"
"Oh, that was priceless." Gunn chuckled. "A bunny in GAME-FACE is so DAMN ridiculous. I tell you, when you've seen that, then all the big-bads are only relative. That thing actually wanted to BITE somebody!!!" Gunn laughed.
"No, no, no. I don't EVER want to see that!" Anya told them scared.
"She's afraid of bunnies." Willow explained to Buffy.
"Oh." That had explained a lot... All in all she found Anya pretty strange. She couldn't believe it when Dawn told her that this was Xander's WIFE!
"I'd say, we team up in Sunnydale, hunt those demons down and get Dru staked for good. That shouldn't be such difficult. All we need is people. Maybe we can pull out a nice little angry crowd?" Buffy said.
"I say we don't need even that. We're enough." Wesley said.
"Yeah." Buffy agreed. "I can get around 50 men. And that without Spike and Kate. That should be enough, right?"
"Wait. SPIKE?" Angel nearly shouted.
"Spike helps her from time to time. The fella's in love with Buffy." Anne told Angel before Buffy was able to stop her.
"WHAT?!" Angel yelled.
"Uh-oh." Was all Buffy said to that.
"You KNOW Spike's in love with you and you still let him be around you?" Angel asked her.
"Well, you know, Spike is kind of a good help. And he helps me train and... well." Buffy stammered. "It's not that he's any danger with the chip and all, he's just. Kind of. Obsessed. With me." Buffy mumbled.
Angel took a deep - unnecessary - breath. "Did you--"
"NO!" Buffy yelped. "God, NO! I'd never! Ew!"
"Okay is this just me, or was that confusing, now?" Gunn asked the others.
"My, Gunn. Are you THIS dumb?" Pike mocked.
"Huh?" Gunn replied, still not getting the point.
*****
Buffy walked around her room the next morning in nothing but a robe that was bound dangerously lose around her waist, her hair still wet from the shower she'd just taken. She was searching through her clothes, throwing all the stuff onto her bed.
"Waaaaaaah," Buffy exclaimed. "I have around 150 clothes, but nothing to wear!" She ranted desperately, pulling out a pink sundress and holding it in front of her body, turning around to show it to Pike who was sitting on her bed, jammed in a dozen clothes of her's.
"Nah. Too cold. Have you noticed that it's December 29th? Yesterday it snowed and this is California!" Pike told the - once again - blonde girl.
"Ooo-kay." Buffy sighed and threw the dress at Pike who caught it easily. "Convinced." With that she turned around again, pulling out a small black button-up shirt, holding it against her body and turning around. "This? And the leather pants?" She asked unsure, turning around again and eying the shirt suspectly in the mirror on her wall.
She then threw the shirt over the door of her closet, turned around with a pout on her face and fumbled a knot out of her wet hair. "I need to go shopping. When will you go shopping with me?" She asked Pike in a whine-y voice.
They were interrupted by a knock on her door, they didn't think anything of it. Buffy was never left alone. There was always someone wanting something from her or just her help. "Come in!" She yelled without turning around, instead tossing another one of her little dresses at Pike.
"Um, I.... I can come back another time if it's, um..." Angel stammered, standing in the doorway.
Buffy turned around in a heartbeat, suddenly very aware of the fact that she was almost naked despite of a piece of cloth being held together by a lose belt at her waist, and still all wet from the shower. "No!" Buffy nearly shouted. "It's okay!"
"I'm gone." Pike stated and made his way out of Buffy's bed and clothes, leaving the room before turning around again. "The black one. With the leather pants." He told her before exiting the room.
"Thanks." She mouthed to him and then the blonde man was gone. "So." She began embarrassed. "Was there, um..., anything you wanted?" She stammered a little helplessly.
"I,..." Angel began. "Yeah. I just... I wanted to make sure that we're leaving for Sunnydale today." Angel said, very distracted by the way her robe threatened to open itself any moment...
"Um, yes. I guess." Buffy said, fastening her belt and snapping Angel out of his thoughts by doing so. She had to grin at that a little. Just a little.
Okay, so maybe a little more than a little...
"You're blonde." Angel said after a moment.
"Yes." Buffy smiled. "I showered."
"I noticed." Angel smiled back, motioning towards her wet form.
"Yes, well. I'm not ready, yet." Buffy blushed a little and turned towards her dresser again.
"Um, yes. Okay. Then." Angel mumbled and turned to leave the room again.
"I killed Darla." Buffy nearly shouted after him when he grabbed for the doorknob. That made him stop.
"What?" He turned around startled. "I mean, no you didn't. I--"
"They brought her back to life." Buffy interrupted him.
"They?" He asked confused.
"Wolfram and Hart. They brought her back. As a human." She had to take a breath at Angel's bewildered look. "They brought her back, because she was the one creature hating me more than anything other in the world. But she was dying. Of syphilis. The same thing she was dying on when the master sired her. I wanted to help her. I really did. She had a soul after all. I even did the thing where I wanted to give my life for her's but she already had had her second chance. And then there came Dru. She vamped Darla and… and they killed... so many innocent people and I couldn't.... I had to." Buffy told Angel in a rush. "I'm sorry."
"I,.." He began but shook his head. "Don't." He told her. "I'm finished with the Darla chapter a long time ago. I had no idea."
Buffy nodded. "I just... - I thought you should know, now that Dru's in the picture again."
Angel swallowed and turned to Buffy again. "Yes. Thank you." Then he wanted to exit the room again.
"She wanted to contact you. Darla, I mean. But I didn't let her." Buffy told him further. It was crazy. The words came out, although she didn't want 'em to.
"Why?" Angel asked her then, having turned around fully and walking towards her.
"I-," Buffy tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out.
"Why?" He asked again. He was standing so close to her now that she could feel his breath against her skin. Which was quite distracting and sent shivers down her spine, because the sensation was so unusual and her skin was still so cold and wet and she was almost naked.
"Because I was afraid you'd take her back. She was your sire. You were a couple for over 150 years. How could I possibly stand against this? I'm just a girl. A little crush of your's. I didn't let her, because I knew you'd choose her over me." Buffy whispered in a little girl voice near tears.
Never in his life he was more moved and touched by simply spoken words. He had to choke back tears of his own now. "You're not a crush to me, Buffy. You're the love of my life. In 248 years I've loved one girl. You. I'd never have chosen Darla over you. Never." He told her, catching a tear of her's with his thumb and stroking her cheek, before exiting the room and leaving her alone.
*****
"Nice talk?" Pike smirked when he saw Angel entering the room. He and Gunn were sitting on the counter drinking coffee while the Scoobies, Wesley, Bethany and several people he didn't know were packing more weapons than he'd ever seen in his entire life.
Angel only scowled at Pike. He couldn't stand the guy at all.
Wesley looked up from what he was doing and glanced at Pike who was chuckling out of control. "How do I have to understand that?" He asked the younger man.
"Oh, nothing. Dunno what Soul Boy wanted. Buffy was running around in nothing but her lame excuse of a robe, though. As usual." Pike filled the watcher in.
"Oh." Was the entire watcher replied. Seemed that this lame excuse of a robe was seen a little often, here... Angel only had no idea if he should like that fact.
Just that moment Buffy entered the room, jumping down the stairs. Her hair was loosely hanging down her shoulders in it's usual golden color and dark fashionable sun-glasses were hiding her eyes. She wore a small black button-up shirt that brought out the sharp bones of her décolleté´ and showed just a little stomach, and tight black leather pants that hung dangerously low on her hips. Really, he had now idea where those could be broken...
And when Angel looked closer at her he could see that she'd matured in every possible way. She truly was a grown woman now who could handle herself and knew about her effect towards others, especially males. Gone was the school girl he'd fallen in love with, she was replaced by the woman he truly loved. Even her walking had matured. Her hips swayed with every step she took.
She stopped just on the third staircase and turned around in a circle. "Well?" She asked the crowd around her. "Has Pike chosen well?" She grinned at Dawn who was smiling up at her.
"Absolutely." Gunn breathed in awe and Angel was busy shooting him with glares then.
Buffy smiled at that. "We can go then?"
*****
Buffy was seated in the back-seat of Angel's convertible, jammed between Gunn and Pike, much to Angel's dislike. The sun wasn't out, it was a foggy day and it was snowing, so Angel could walk around at the day without worrying about the sun, but they had the top up anyway, just to make sure if the sun wanted to come out and play all the same.
The slayer was joking around with her friends all the time and neither Angel, nor Xander who was sitting in the seat next to Angel could follow the conversation. The three of them would laugh at certain comments they just couldn't have a clue about. Inside jokes. What a waste of time.
God, how dearly he wanted to understand those.
Buffy was mockingly slapping Pike in the rips from time to time and they would laugh together and smile knowingly at things they talked about and he simply hated it. That was exactly what he wanted with Buffy. That and a few more smoochies. He wanted to know her through and through. Wanted to help her pick out her outfits in the morning when she still ran around in her bathrobe, wanted to joke around with her, pull her closer to him when she was ill and asking her how she was, spoiling her with everything he could get when she had a headache. And Pike had all this. All in front of his eyes.
God, how he hated this blond man.
The drive to Sunnydale took one hour and soon they were all standing in front of the Summers' house.
Buffy suddenly looked very sick and she was staring at the door she hadn't entered for four years. It was as if she was afraid to enter.
"It's still the same. We haven't moved anything in your room, neither in the kitchen or living room." Angel said, standing behind her, urging her to open the door with her own key. Just, Joyce's room and the basement." He added quietly.
"Yeah. Willow and Tara's room and your small apartment, I know." She whispered back, only loud enough for Angel to hear.
"Don't you want to open the door?" Angel asked her, pointing at the key she already held in her hand.
"I'm afraid." Buffy breathed, facing the door with tears in her eyes.
Angel stepped towards her then, until he was standing right behind her and took her hand in his own, leading it towards the lock and making her hand move the key into it and turning it around until the door opened with a little 'click'. Their hands still held together.
He pushed her gently into the house then, never letting go of her hand.
"See?" He whispered into her ear. "Still all the same."
Tears rolled down her face. "She told me to never come back." She said in a frightened voice.
"I know." He said. "But she didn't mean it. She never meant it. She loved you. More than you think." Angel told her quietly. "Don't ever forget that."
They were completely unaware of the people around them. And the other's sticked to leave them alone. They waited outside until they were sure they wouldn't disturb Buffy.
Buffy walked up towards a framed picture hanging on the wall, letting go of Angel's hand. The picture was of Joyce, Dawn and her, made when they'd just moved to Sunnydale. Dawn still a little girl and Buffy only a teenager. She took the picture from the wall and kissed the image of her mother. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry for not having been the daughter you wanted so badly."
Angel walked up behind her. Being snapped out of his thoughts by her words and lying a comforting hand onto her shoulder. "You were exactly the daughter she wanted. You and Dawn were everything to her. Always." He told her and she put the picture back onto the wall.
"Do you think she knew I loved her?" Buffy sobbed.
"She did. I know she did." Angel said. Pulling her into his embrace and stroking her hair.
"Oh God." Buffy cried desperately, holding onto her Angel for dear life. "Why haven't I been there? Why? Why haven't I been there when she needed me. I could have saved her, maybe." The slayer sobbed.
"No. You couldn't have done anything. It was a natural death. Nobody could have known. Nobody has seen it coming. It was too quick." The Vampire told the fragile girl in his arms. She seemed so very small and lost in his arms.
Then she stopped crying. Out of a sudden. And pulled back. It was as if she remembered that she had to be strong. And if there was still something left in her that he knew, then this impression was right.
"You don't have to be strong." He told her when she headed up the stairs and stopped without turning. "Sometimes you can be only a girl. A girl that's allowed to show emotion. A girl that needs to be comforted. And maybe even saved." Angel whispered up to her.
She turned around and looked deeply into his eyes. "I'll come back to that offer." She tried to smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Thank you." She whispered before walking up the rest of the stairs.
*****
Angel walked out of the house again, just in time to see a few vans arrive in the Revello Drive. Guys he'd only seen on the picture on the desk in Buffy's office exited those rides and he could tell that some of them weren't even 18, yet. They were kids. He easily found the youngest among them. She was at most 16. Maybe younger. But that didn't mean she was the weakest. She moved with a easiness he seen only from Buffy and Dawn, before. It seemed Buffy had put very special work into this girl.
He walked up to boy lifting what he expected to be the heaviest of the boxes filled with various weapons and took the thing from him. Lifting it onto his shoulder and carrying it into the Summers' living-room.
"You can put it down where you want." He told the girl that he'd seen just before who was carrying in the next box and standing with a disoriented statement in the middle of the room.
"Thanks." The - maybe - 16-year-old smiled at him gratefully.
Buffy then walked down the stairs, with her Bazooka in her hands.
"Huh?" Angel said bewildered. "The rocket-launcher was in your room these whole four years and I never noticed it?"
"Cool." The girl that was still standing in the room remarked.
"Yeah." Buffy grinned. "Guess so." She put the Bazooka down carefully and laid it onto the box Angel had recently carried in and put a pillow beneath it so nothing could happen. "Mira?" She called after the 16-year-old.
"Could you please ask Thomas if he loaded the magnums?" Buffy asked her and Mira went out of the house, nodding towards Buffy.
"I don't think a gun would be useful against Dru." Angel commented which made Buffy face him.
"The bullets are made of wood. Special made for me by a friend that works at the police." Buffy told him smirking.
"Wow." Angel remarked impressed. "I kind of don't want to meet that friend of your's." He joked, silently hoping that this friend was female, because every male friend of her's - that he'd seen already, that was - had the hots for the slayer.
"Oh. Kate's cool. You'd like her." Buffy smiled at him.
He smiled back at her. Mostly because Kate definitely was a girl's name.
Just then Pike entered with the next box. "Where to?" He asked.
"Couch." Angel answered monotone.
"But look out that you don't knock over the Bazooka." Buffy told the blond before helping him placing the box carefully onto the couch.
"Bazooka? Cool. Where do have that thing from?" He asked Angel.
"It's Buffy's." He said coldly.
Pike only cocked an eyebrow at the slayer. "Why do I know nothing about that thing?" He asked the slayer grinning.
Because you're a stupid jerk that doesn't need to know everything! Angel wanted to scream in the other man's face. Instead he kept being silent.
"Was a birthday present." Buffy said smiling.
"Awesome." Pike grinned and left the room.
They needed at least half an hour to get all the boxes into the house and another hour to separate all the weapons from those boxes.
*****
By the time they were finished the sun had set and they were prepared for the fight. The weapons were divided to the many fighters so everybody had at least two weapons. They had stuffed up the car of the Teen Shelter with new stakes put into the oversized crossbow and Buffy had the Bazooka hanging over her shoulder. They were all ready for the war.
"Ooo-kay." Buffy sighed. "What does your demon-army need so long for?" Buffy whined. They were parked in the Weatherly Park, waiting for Dru's Gang to arrive.
"What can I say? Dru's nuts!" Angel defended himself. "But they WILL come. They burned Sunnydale almost down the day before yesterday. That's why we needed help!"
They were interrupted by a crossbow being fired into the Teen Shelter's war-car. And everybody jumped to their feet and Buffy onto the roof of the ride.
"They are coming!" She yelled before Thomas jumped behind the large crossbow-fire-machine. And Buffy aimed the Bazooka.
And suddenly they were standing in front of an army that counted at least 100 demons. "Wes? Didn't you say they'd be too surprised to even fight?" Buffy whispered in a whine-y voice.
"Well," He said, but he couldn't finish, because the demons began attacking them. Buffy fired right into the middle and killed at least 20 demons by doing so. Angel jumped right into the action and killed several demons with his bare hands and game-face.
"Mira!" Buffy yelled when she saw the already injured girl. "Duck!" She screamed and threw a stake into the heart of the vampire that was about to bite the brown-haired girl.
It was a massacre. But like a miracle, already half of the demons were down and nobody of the good side was killed, several were injured, though.
Buffy jumped into the center of the fight so she was back-to-back with Angel.
"You've got a stake handy? I've lost all mine." He whispered in a very low voice that made her shudder. "Yeah." She chocked after killing a ghoul with the axe in her hand and handing him a stake. Then he was gone, running into a bloodsucker that was attacking Anya.
Gunn, Pike and the rest of the Teen Shelter were handling themselves really well, fighting in groups and synchrony. They've learned by the best all the same, Wesley added proudly in his mind.
The witches were good as well, killing vampires with flying stakes and the power of their magic. And Bethany had just thrown a giant tree towards a few ugly demons. Which had made several heads of the Scoobies turn towards the red-haired girl in surprise.
"You'll die!" A large ghoul hovered over Angel with his own stake in hand and threatened to kill the souled vampire any moment. And he'd killed Angel if the demon handed exploded into thousands of little peaces right in front of his eyes. Magic. But from a kind of power he'd never felt before. No way that this had been Willow, Tara or Amy. He turned around startled and faced the eyes of the love of his life that were still shining in a glittery water blue from the after affect of using her magic.
He couldn't believe he'd never noticed that the love of his life was a witch. A born witch after all. Those were even more powerful and the magic was like floating around them as long as they live. And when he really concentrated on it, then he could feel it. In the air around her. The sparkling energy.
But he couldn't think about it further, because Xander and Anya were about to get eaten by a huge vampire.
Buffy jumped onto a bench and fired another rocket into a bunch of demons. 80 demons gone. 20 more to go. And not to forget a crazy vampiress.
Buffy could see her through the many dead demon bodies and jumped from the bench, running towards the brown-haired vampire. "Angel! I GOT HER!" Buffy screamed all over the place and Angel dropped the demon which neck he recently snapped to save Xander and Anya and ran to Buffy's side.
Buffy tackled Drusilla and she fell to the ground with her shiny white silk dress. "You made my baby go away. Once she was my grandmamma then she was my baby and you made her go all away, naughty little slayer." Dru laughed crazily.
"Dru, that was nearly two years ago. Can't you let go already?" The slayer asked her.
"You made her go away. You make everybody of my family go away." Dru said in her sing-sang voice. "First you made daddy all in love with you and then you made my Spike floating all around you and you made grandmother be so angry with you and then everybody was gone. You made my family go away." Drusilla sobbed madly.
"Dru, you know what? Go. Go the hell away. I don't want to EVER see you again, understand?" The slayer told her coldly and Dru got up, looking into the slayer's eyes and turned around running for cover. The danger was defeated.
"Why was she so afraid of you?" Angel asked Buffy.
"She watched me killing Darla." Buffy explained simply.
"And why didn't you stake her?" Angel whispered.
"She watched me killing Darla." Buffy said and walked back towards the fight in order to kill the last ten demons standing.
*****
Mira winced under Buffy's touch. The slayer was cleaning the wound on the younger girl's forehead in the kitchen of the Summers' house. Buffy had already done a mayor 'first-aid-kid-job', as Gunn called it. Gunn himself ran around with an oversized plaster on his neck. Two poultry scratches. And Pike ran around Sunnydale with a bottle of beer and his left arm in a cage.
"Don't move." The blonde slayer told Mira. She was removing the dirt out of the long scratch. Suddenly she chuckled.
"What's so bloody funny?" Mira whined.
"Looks just like my arm." She told the girl grinning.
Mira smiled at that. Forgotten was the pain.
"It was over, rather fast." Wesley agreed, entering the kitchen with Giles in tow. Some how these two had found a way to come along with each other. "Are you okay?" Wes asked the pale blonde.
"Yeah. Been better, but okay. I just feel a little sick." She told the watcher without turning around, she was busy placing the plaster on Mira's wound.
"Good. And Mira, you take care of that scratch. It can turn to a scar, but it doesn't have to if you let it heal proper." He sat in front of the girl and Buffy got up and walked through the house, leaving the 16-year-old with her watchers and Beth who was uninjured and making tea. Those tea which flavour was tasting such awful that it just screamed 'healthy'.
"Hey, Dawnie." Buffy sat down on the couch, next to her little sister who was watching cartoons on one of these pay-per-view channels. Since when did the Summers' house have pay-per-view??
"How should I be? You guys left me home, so that the little kid isn't standing in your way. I was all save. There's no need to ask." She told her sister.
"Dawnie, we left you here, because you could have gotten hurt!" Buffy told her baby-sister.
"Yeah, Yeah." Dawn mumbled and grabbed a handful of Popcorn out of the bowl that was standing on the couch-table.
Buffy smiled at her little sister and stroked her hair. "You're the bravest girl I know, you know that Dawn?" Buffy told her and the girl turned her head to look her sister in the eyes. "You live here, without me, Mom or Dad, with people who've grown closer to you than any family could ever do and you haven't changed. Not a bit. You're the same old Dawn I always knew. You're real. My little baby-sister." She said. "And there can come any monk of the world and tell me different: You are my sister."
Dawn had tears in her eyes then and hugged her older sister. "Come back, Buffy. Please. I miss you so much." The teenager cried.
Buffy hugged her back. "I don't know if I can." She told the girl.
What they didn't know, was that Angel had been standing in the doorway the whole time, having seen the display in front of his eyes. "You're welcome, here." He whispered, startling Buffy.
He turned around and walked down the stairs into his small apartment, followed by Buffy.
The basement had changed dramatically. There was a black antique couch to the left of the staircase and a small kitchen in the opposite side of the room with a table, refrigerator, sink and cooker. He actually had food around. On the other side of the room were many shelves and armchairs. All in all it looked quite comfortable. A little old maybe.
There were pictures on the wall. Mostly of temples, monasteries, convents and sunsets. But a few of Buffy herself. She blushed a little seeing those and he chuckled lightly noticing her discomfort.
She could see a large king-sized bed and a dresser when she looked into the smaller room that led from the main-room. It was even bigger than the apartment he had when they'd met first. Okay, so it was definitely smaller than the Crawford street mansion, but it was nice. And comfortable.
She liked it. Mostly because everything in the room looked and even smelled like Angel.
"It's nice." Buffy commented and Angel turned to her smiling.
"It is." He agreed.
Buffy walked around the room restlessly. "You have food?" It was supposed to sound like a conclusion but ended up as a question.
"Um, yeah." Angel stammered. "You know, Dawn and the other's often breakfast here, so I keep a few things." He told her.
Buffy nodded understanding.
"Um, do you, um, w-want to drink anything?" Angel stammered unsure.
"Um. yeah. Cool." Buffy answered smiling. "But nothing healthy. I had enough of that already." She added disgusted by the thought.
"I-I have vanilla tea." Angel suggested.
Buffy's eyes lit up. "Yummy. My favourite!"
"I know." He smiled back.
He went into his kitchen and set up the water, waiting for it to boil. He sat the boiler onto the cooker and switched it on, filling the vanilla into the kettle. Then he stood and waited. And reality came crushing down onto him. She was here. In his apartment. Sitting on his couch. About to go any moment if he didn't find a way to keep her with him.
Could he really live without her any longer? God knew he longed for her. And there she was. Right in front of his eyes. He just needed to reach out his hand and could touch her perfect skin. But would she let him?
The tea was ready and he filled it into two cups. He let his own untouched and filled just a little milk into her cup and added a bit of sugar. Just like she always drank her tea. After all this years he hadn't forgotten it.
That was the most amazing to her. He still knew her.
Wesley made her tea day after day and he still didn't know her favourite flavour and he always had to ask her how many milk and sugar he had to add. Angel knew it on instinct. He did it out of reflex. He'd never forgotten.
Could she really just walk out of that door and pretend that this never happened? Could she pretend that the fire burned out when it was lighter than ever before?
She wanted him to take her back. So badly.
"Thank you." She whispered when he handed her the mug.
"You're welcome." He replied and sat down himself, watching her sip on her tea. "So, um, are you and Pike, um..." He didn't finish the question
Buffy smirked at that. "Just so you know: Pike's gay." She grinned at Angel's bewildered statement and giggled.
"I miss you." She suddenly said.
Angel gazed at her for a long time before silently replying: "I miss you, too. Because I love you more than ever. Always."
A single tear ran down Buffy's cheek then. "But I killed you. I stabbed you with that sword and your eyes were so *fucking* trusting when you closed your eyes and I killed you!" Buffy nearly screamed. "I killed you. How can you ever forgive me?" She cried.
"How can YOU forgive me?" Angel countered. "I killed one of your friends. I tortured Giles. And I was so mean to you. I tortured you in every way possible, because I KNEW that you loved me and I..." Angel told her.
"That wasn't you!" Buffy yelped. "It was him. The demon. But the one I killed was YOU! The one I wanted to save so badly. It was my fault that he was there again. Mine! It was me who took the first step-"
"You couldn't have known." Angel interrupted her and laid a finger onto her lips. "We couldn't have known. And I wanted you, too. So very strongly. It would have happened, anyway. Even if you hadn't done the first step, then. We'd have done it, anyway, because we had no idea."
"I killed you." She whispered with big teary eyes.
"It doesn't matter." He whispered back, gazed into her big hazel-eyes when the first sob shook her body and she fell into his arms.
"It never mattered." He added while he held her shaking body. "Never."
"Just hold me. Please." She cried, holding onto him with all her strength.
"Forever." He whispered into her ear. "Please, stay. With me. I can't ever let you go, again."
She nodded into his chest and he kissed the back of her head.
"And the loophole?" She asked him scared.
"Is gone." He answered smiling.
Buffy's eyes went wide. "How?"
"Willow and Tara. Witchcraft." He said.
"Why... Why didn't Dawnie ever tell me?" Buffy said, her eyes puffy and red.
"You never told her why I lost my soul, remember. She had no idea." Angel explained to her.
"Right." She nodded, still clinging to the man she loved. "Wait. Witchcraft? That means, ....that means, I could have .... I could have removed it, too? There was a spell?" Buffy asked in her little girl voice.
"Yes." He smiled. "Since when do you know?" He asked her.
"What?" She asked surprised.
"That you're a witch. Since when do you know?" Angel asked her.
"Since I'm six, I think." Buffy told him. "Since the death of my grandma."
He smiled. "How does it feel?"
She considered that question a moment and then smiled at him. "It's nice. It makes me all warm and comfortable and I feel like I could burst any moment. It's exactly like when you kiss me." She grinned.
"It is?" He smirked down at her.
"Um, don't know. Kiss me, so I can see!" She grinned up, the tea all forgotten.
And he kissed her. Bittersweet and perfect. For the first time in four years.
The End