Simple Things (Continued)

Part 10

With an hour left before graduation, Buffy finds herself surprisingly nervous as she stands in Cordelia's bedroom. After spending the morning in a daze, too worried about Angel to show much interest in traveling around town with her father, she finds herself finally perking up getting to spend her last few moments as a highschooler with Cordelia and Willow.

Cordelia primps Buffy's robe, trying to smooth as many of the wrinkles out as she can. She steps back, arms folded, assessing her work, while trying to keep up appearances around the slayer. Willow had told them all about the supposed prophecy that could turn Angel human, but the brunette suspected that she was the only other one to know, besides Willow and Giles, what would need to be done tonight for it to happen. "Not bad," she forces out a smile. "Not exactly dry clean perfection, but passable."

Buffy walks across Cordy's bedroom, looking into the mirror with a mixture of anxiety and satisfaction. "It'll do fine. Thanks." Idly smoothing out a few folds of her own burgandy gown, Willow timidly raises her head, looking towards her best friend. "H- how's Angel?"

Buffy bites her lower lip, forcing a smile. "I don't know...I tried calling him but he didn't pick up..."

"Oh Buffy, I'm sure he's okay," Willow tries assuring her. "Isn't that right, Cordelia?" She turns to Cordy for support, finding a new and almost disturbing look on her face. "Cordy...?"

"Mmm-hmm..." The brunette passes her a suspicious smile as she busy herself fitting Buffy's head with the cap, working with her hair until it fits.

"Are you guys sure?" the slayer sighs, feeling the depression starting to kick in again. "I mean, I'd just feel so much better if I could see him, or at least talk to him before having to sit through some long and boring graduation worrying about him."

"Oh Buffy, I'm sure he was just resting," Willow tries again, anxious to change the subject for both Buffy's and her own conscious' sake. "And who says graduation is going to be boring? I intend to be entertaining during my speech, so I'd better not see any of you sleeping while I'm up on stage."

"You? Entertaining??" Cordy blurts out in typical fashion. Receiving a stunned glare from the brunette, as well as a sympathetic look from Buffy, Willow can only pout as she grabs her own cap.

"Well...just promise me you won't snore..."

******

Listen to the waves
Everything communicates
Will it ever be
Anything more
Than wishful thinking?

Joyce snaps yet another picture of the three girls, leaving them all nearly staggering from the repeated flashes. Buffy rubs her eyes as her mother pops out the film and inserts another roll. A repeated honking gets their attention as Hank pulls his Explorer into Cordelia's driveway, motioning to his wrist to indicate the time. They all quickly pile in, with the girls maneuvering so as to not rip their gowns.

"It's too bad your parents had to go out of town for the week, Cordelia," Joyce turns back in the passenger's seat to face her.

"I doubt they even would've came if they *were* in town," the brunette mutters under her breath. Though she hated to admit it, she envied the relationship that Buffy had with Joyce. And even though she hadn't known Hank for too long, she could see even he had more of a relationship with Buffy than she did with her own parents.

Staring blankly out the car window, Buffy can feel an anxiety building in her stomach as the moment draws nearer. In just a little over an hour, she thinks, her heart pounding at a frenzied pace, it'll be over. It'll be all over. Childhood will come to a screeching halt, replaced by both promise and uncertainty.

Oh no, there you go
Looked away and missed the show
How much wasted time
Will you survive?

Willow, Cordy, and Buffy were walking across the high school parking lot towards the football field when Oz and Xander called out to them. "Lookin good girls," Xander pulls Cordy into his arms, giving her a tight, reassuring hug. As he pulls away, he can feel Willow's hands reaching up to his head. She quickly adjusts Xander's cap, brushing the tassel out of his face. "Well, you look dapper enough for the occasion. I'd even go so far as to say you look, dare I say, handsome."

He lifts the cap slightly, and is nearly blinded as Joyce's bright light flashes before him. "Hey! Easy with the bright lights there- I don't want to end up walking into anything as I'm fighting to rip the diploma out of Snyder's reluctant grasp."

"You and me both, Xand," Buffy smiles, giving her own hat a quick adjustment. "I'll be surprised if Snyder manages to hand me a diploma he hasn't laced with poison."

"Buffy...?" Hank lifts his head curiously at his daughter's last remark, "you're still having disciplinary problems in school? After everything that happened in LA?"

Feel the blades of grass
How it brings you back
It will always be
Only as green
As you can see

Buffy, along with her mother, can only sigh, each letting out their own small, irritated laugh. "No dad..." Buffy smirks at him, looping an arm with Willow as the friends move past him, "...no problems at all...at least none you'd ever show an interest in..." Leaving Hank to deal with her mother's own fury at his behavior, the slayer can't help but think back over her life, and where in those brief eighteen years could she find a memory of her father not disapproving of almost everything she'd done.

Oh no, there you go
Looked away and missed the show
How much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah, fooled again
Don't know how
And I don't know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking

"You're mulling..." Willow's cheerful voice brings her back to reality. "No mulling on graduation day."

"Yeah Buffster," Xander moves to her side, slinging an arm over her shoulders. "Don't wanna have a gloomy face for the rest of your mother's ten roles of film."

"All right everyone," they can hear Giles' voice call out over the already assembled class, "time to fall in. You have an entire community awaiting your company."

As they reach their destination, Xander responds to the librarian with a mock salute. "Yes sir, Mr. G-man!"

"Xander-" Giles lets out a sigh, "fix your hat. And will you please stop calling me that! You'll be out of highschool in a matter of minutes- grow up!"

As they file away, Xander's cap was caught by the breeze, and goes sailing down the pavement as they all give chase, screaming and laughing like children at play...the sound of innocence.

Little breakdowns
In coastal towns
They come suddenly
Crashing over you
They come...
...easily

I'm falling through the sky
Through frozen places

They assemble as a mass at the back of the school, strolling down the bright pavement and taking their seats in groups of two, Pomp and Circumstance blaring on the P.A. system. Buffy sits in the third row, plopping down in the chair as she looks around, watching the crowd as countless flashes, whistles, cheers, and screams of encouragement emanate from everyone's families. The enormity of it all was overwhelming. In just a few short minutes, she would graduate. She would receive her diploma, and then look to the future. No more procrastination, no more delays. It was here. It was now. It was the end...and the beginning.

And yet, when her thoughts should've turned to the options that lay ahead of her, planning out whatever future career a slayer could have, her mind quickly drifts to the only certainty she'd ever known in life- Angel. She had gone to sleep with him on her mind. And, like always, when she was most troubled, she fell into dreams. But last night, after so many before spent with wonderful images of herself and the souled vampire, she found only herself. Alone on a winding, dirt path with wide, flat pastures that grew wildflowers of crimson and pink on the left, and on the right, yellow and white blossoms swayed gently in the soft, warm breeze.

She had looked out across the field, both relieved and surprised to have finally spotted Angel, laughing and happy as he approached her. Finally closing the distance between them, he smiled up at her, and was about to speak when Buffy finally took notice of the red stain that was quickly growing on her shirt. She could almost feel it in her sleep as she cast her eyes down, watching the small trickle of blood sliding down her neck, seeping through the white fabric. But before she could even lift her eyes to Angel, she had woken up, bolting straight up in bed, a cold shiver staying with her for the rest of the night.

Oh no, there you go
Looked away and missed the show
How much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah, fooled again
Don't know how
And I don't know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking

"Students, parents, staff, gathered family, guests, and alumni, I wish to welcome you to the commencement of the 1999 graduating class of Sunnydale High School!" Principal Snyder recites over the P.A. as everyone's attention shifts to the stage. "Before we begin, please rise and join us in the singing of our school song, which is on the back of your programs."

In all honesty, none of them knew a single line of the song, nor did they care. This was their moment, and they wanted to relish every second of it before they walked up to the stage and walked into a new life. Following a motley mix of bizarre medleys, they sit down again, laughing wildly. Even Buffy seems to have regained her spirits, joking about how bad Xander's cap fit.

"If I may have your attention please," they hear Snyder's voice cut their antics short as they settle back into their seats, all of them snickering and biting their tongues so as not to laugh. "I turn the stage over to class valedictorian Willow Rosenburg who will give a brief speech and then we will proceed with the distribution of diplomas." As the applause quickly builds to a roar, thanks to the extra efforts of the Scoobs, Willow approaches Snyder at the podium, a few index cards beginning to shake in her already trembling hands. "Make it quick, Rosenburg," Snyder warns, handing the stage over to her as he takes a seat.

And I try to
Realize that I needn't look any further
The whole of the universe
Is plain to see

"Friends, family, distinguished guests, and my fellow classmates," she begins, praying to any higher power that would keep her from bumbling through her words. "I spent many nights awake thinking about what I could say tonight that you would remember. Act- actually...I'm not sure if many of you will even remember my name after all of this is over...but one thing that I am sure of is what matters most to me in my life...my friends."

The four teens, along with Giles, perk their heads up, focusing even more intently on Willow's words. "Friends will give you support, they help when needed, and they keep you from being lonely. Also, having friends gives you the chance to experience what your friend is doing for you. Sometimes giving is more enjoyable than getting. I couldn't imagine the last four years without my friends. That's why I'd like to thank all of them right now, and I would like to say that I could not have made it through without you all.

So, tonight, aside from the importance of friendship, my message is simple: make it a goal to discover what really matters in life. The things we usually fill most of our time with are often times not the things that matter the most. Let us decide today that we will take the time to do something valuable, or better yet...to be someone who makes a difference. Thank you."

As the students and crowd enthusiastically respond to Willow's speech, Snyder didn't exactly share their sentiments. Pulling her aside before allowing her to return to her seat, he leans over to whisper to her. "Very touching, Rosenburg..." he smirks. "A real heartwarmer. I hope you weren't referring to Buffy Summers and the rest of those future burdens to society in your little spectacle up there."

Suddenly no longer in fear of what possible repercussions could come of her actions, Willow pulls her arm out of his grasp before smiling back at him. "As a matter of fact, I was. Oh- and my name's Willow...and you Mr. Snyder can just kiss my ass."

Staring dumbfounded at her as she takes her seat, Snyder hesitantly takes to the microphone once more. "Th- thank you, Miss Ros- umm...Willow. Ladies and gentlemen, we have assembled here tonight to celebrate something of great significance. Each of these students has proven that hard work and dedication is its own reward..."

Buffy tunes his false praises out as she considers that significance. The comprehension struck her like a thunderclap. < It's over. All of it. Over. I'll walk up to the stage and receive my diploma, then...what?>

One by one, they walk up to the stage, shake Snyder's hand, and return to their seats with diploma in hand. Xander adds to the spectacle in his own inimitable fashion, screaming "Hallelujah! Free at last! Free at last!" as he ambles off the stage and jogs back to his seat. Portions of the assembly broke out in laughter. < Class clown to the end,> Buffy laughs to herself.

The rest of them would follow suit, sans the comic relief. Each of them receive the traditional handshake, receive the traditional diploma, and make the traditional walk back to their seats. They say nothing to one another as the rest of the student body also partakes of the ceremony. They drink it in, the remarkability of the moment. The field lights pop on as the sun starts to set on the horizon. < A fitting gesture of symbolism,> Buffy thinks. And the birth of a new life for the slayer.

And I try not
To rely on another world
Or the future
The whole of the universe
Is a mystery

******

They gather in the side parking lot after changing out of their 'formal attires' in the locker rooms following the ceremony. Xander, relieved to be free of his awkward-fitting cap at last, doesn't seem to stop beaming at the thought that he'd no longer have to be subjected to the horrors of highschool life. Buffy's parents walk up to them with their congratulations, and Joyce stretches out her arms to get their attention. "Alright people, here's the plan," she says. "Half of you go in Oz's van, the rest of you will come with us in the Explorer. We're all headed back to our house for a little party. Mr. Giles," she turns to the ex-watcher, "you'll be joining us I hope?"

"Yes. Yes, of course. But I've got a few...things to finish up here. Then I have to, umm...pick up one or two items at my apartment-"

"Aww...you didn't have to buy us anything, G-man," Xander gushes over him.

"I didn't," he chuckles. "At least not for people who insist on calling me that. But I will be over as soon as I've taken care of everything," he passes around a warm smile before turning to head to his own car. "Oh- umm...Willow? May I...speak with you for a minute?"

"Sure..." The redhead walks alongside him through the parking lot, already having a pretty good idea as to what he wanted to talk about.

"I'm going over to the mansion right now...check up on Angel. You and Buffy meet me there in a little bit, but none of the others."

"But Giles...I already told them about the prophecy-"

"Yes, but none of them know about the actual act. I'm afraid of how they would react knowing what Buffy must do."

"Alright...give us about an hour...we'll be over."

Minutes after Giles and the Scoobs head their separate ways, the graduates are tumbling out of Hank's Explorer and Oz's trusty van as they pull up to the Summers' house. They had removed their graduation attire, and were anxious to get a nice family meal together. Buffy was tossing her robe into the back seat as the others were goofing around, walking up the porch into her home.

Dinner soon turned into a happy retrospective of the friends' memories of some of their better moments in their four years at Sunnydale High. Xander kept Hank entertained with his good-natured antics, while Willow and Cordelia endeared themselves even more to him with their charming and bubbling personalities. For his part, Oz was enjoying just sitting back, watching the others interact and engage in conversation- not exactly his area of expertise.

While the others were enjoying themselves, Buffy can't help but grow more worried about Angel. He'd promised to be at the house at sundown, which was a good thiry minutes ago. She now began fearing the worst, that he wasn't physically able to keep his promise and had been ravaged again by whatever was causing his weakened state. "Honey?" Joyce places a hand on her shoulder, "you're awfully quiet. Anything wrong?"

"I'm just worried about Angel. He should've been here by now. I think I'm gonna run upstairs and change then head over to the mansion. Make sure he's okay." With that, she pulls away from the table and begins racing up the stairs until her mother's voice draws her to a hault.

"Honey, no-" Joyce hesitates. She didn't want to ruin her daughter's surprise by letting her see her now-emptied room, but she was also well aware of how troubled Buffy would be without checking on her boyfriend. Before she can get another word out, the phone rings.

"I'll get it in my room," Buffy draws in a sharp breath, "maybe it's Angel." Not waiting for her mother to respond, Buffy charges into her room, only to be struck by the realization of it's total lack of everything. Only a few of her posters were left hanging on the mostly bare walls. The plush carpet, phone, and bright curtains were the only two pieces of proof that the room had ever been inhabited. The slayer is so baffled that she almost doesn't notice that the phone had already been picked up.

Gathering her bearings, trying to get over her first shock of finding her room gone, she picks up the phone, only to hear even more devastating news.

"...well is he alright?" Willow's worried voice comes leaping over the line, panic and fear clearly evident in her tone.

"I put him into bed..." Giles breathes out, "but...Willow- we're out of time. He's not going to last much longer."

"I'll get Buffy. We'll be right over."

Trying to maintain whatever senses she had left, Buffy hurries down the stairs, seeing Willow waiting for her at the bottom. "Buffy- that was Giles. We need to-"

"I heard," she cuts her off, the fear and anger raising in her voice. "What's going on? I go upstairs to find a hole in the wall where my room should be, and now you and Giles have been keeping something from me about Angel??"

"Buffy..." Willow finds herself unable to explain things just yet, hoping desperately that she wouldn't lose her best friend in the process. "We have to get to the mansion. Please, just...let's just go..."

"Honey, what's going on?" Joyce steps up behind them, anxious to hear what Angel's condition was.

"We have to go to the mansion right now," Buffy states, an intensity lacing over her words.

"What's wrong?" Xander calls over to them as he, Cordelia, Oz, and Hank join them.

"That was Giles," Willow answers. "He, uh..." She looks to Hank, trying to come up with some sort of believable excuse other than the truth. "...needs some help taking care of some...wrapping up things from graduation. You know- collecting gowns and hats and stuff. Oh- plus...Xander has a few overdue library books that he needs to bring to him right away."

"I do?" Receiving a subtle kick to the shin from his girlfriend, he quickly shuts up. "Oh- yeah. Don't wanna have them take away my diploma. Come on, let's go."

The friends were in such a frenzy piling into Oz's van that Willow completely forgets what Giles had told her about bringing everyone. "Aw man..." she sighs, bringing a hand to her forehead.

"Somebody better start explaining things," Buffy nearly shouts, casting her eyes from one friend to another, looking for answers.

"Willow..." Cordelia leans over, "does this have anything to do with tonight? What Giles told you about-"

"How did you...you heard?"

"I accidently picked up the phone this morning," she defends herself. "Not like I was spying on you or anything!"

"Wait- what happened this morning?" Buffy raises her eyes to them.

"Giles called us while we were at Angel's," Xander blurts out, though instantly regrets opening his mouth. "Xander...you've got a really big mouth that you need to keep shut with Twinkies at all times..." he mutters to himself, letting out a nervous laugh as he sees Buffy angrily staring at him.

"Look-" Buffy raises an arm in the air to stop their fussing. "One of you had better tell me what the hell is going on right now and why none of you had the decency to tell me before!"

******

Part 11

Buffy comes pounding through the mansion's front doors, the rest of the Scoobs trying to catch up with her. "What happened? Angel- is he alright??"

"Yes," comes Giles' soft reply. "He passed out and took a tumble down the stairs. I took him up...stairs..." Giles trails off, watching as his former slayer flies up the massive stairway. Lifting a shaky hand to his head, he removes his glasses and turns his head, only to see all of the others standing in the great hall, staring at him with blank, helpless faces.

"What are you all doing here?" he asks them all, though his eyes turn accusingly to Willow. "There's no need for you all to stay." Not expecting Xander to be the one to confront him, Giles replaces his glasses, blinking back a few times as the young man approaches him.

"Angel's sick...Buffy's a nervous wreck...we stay."

A streak of moonlight drew away behind the heavy drawn draperies as Angel slowly begins to open his eyes, immediately settling them on Buffy, sitting on the bed by his side. A soft breeze was blowing in, playing in her hair as she reaches out a hand to softly caress his sweat-streaked face, feeling Angel move slightly in response to her. "Angel?" her voice whispers as she leans forward to give him a closer look. "Are you...?"

"I'm okay..." he tries insisting for the millionth time that week.

"Would you stop saying that?" she snaps back at him. "Whatever's happening to you has gone way beyond just scaring me. Giles, Willow and the others are all downstairs," she announces, feeling him tense at the librarian's name.

"Giles? You...talked to Giles?" < Did he tell her about the prophecy?>

"No. Angel- has Giles or Willow said anything to you about what's going on?" She feels his hesitation to reveal anything and instantly pushes him for an answer. "Angel- what's going on? What have Giles and Willow told you?" As he opens his mouth to tell her the little bit that Willow had told him, another voice can be heard coming up the stairs.

"Buffy..." Willow sticks her head in the door frame, fearing her friend's reaction, "Giles wants to...talk...downstairs. He said to br-"

"I'll be down in a minute," Buffy's stern voice shoots back.

"But he wants you to bring down-"

"Willow- just get out! I'll be down in a minute!" Not wanting to cause her any more reason to be upset, Willow turns back around, headed downstairs with the others.

A few minutes later, Buffy emerges at the top of the stairs, slowly making her descent. The others were all seated around the fireplace, a heavy silence draped over them. As she approaches, she opens her mouth, shakes her head, and snaps it shut. Other than the clock and the soft crackling of the fire, there was no sound among them.

"How's Angel?" Willow takes it upon herself to open things up, nervously lifting her eyes to face Buffy.

"Sleeping..." she quickly answers back, now folding her arms across her chest. "What is going on? And right about now, I'd appreciate the truth, since anything less is apt to get you all beaten-"

"Buffy-" Giles tries calming her, but he couldn't stop her- she was in full rant mode.

"Don't 'Buffy' me, Giles! You're in on this too! Now what the hell is happening to Angel?!"

With a deep sigh, Willow shifts a bit in her seat before finally explaining things to Buffy. "When you first told me about Angel getting sick, I started doing some research. Giles and I...found an ancient prophecy about the 'souled vampire' who would finally regain his humanity. Something called Shanshu. It talks about the vampire's redemption being brought about by the strongest lifeforce known to the universe-"

"In this case," Giles interjects, "the bond that you two share. It's quite powerful-"

"Gee- what a shocker!" Buffy throws her hands up in the air. "Never saw that startling revelation coming! Still confused over here- what exactly is happening to him?"

"He's becoming human, Buffy..." Giles simply states, finding Buffy, for the first time he could remember, at a loss for words. "It's a process you see. It started at the beginning of the week. As he continued to regain his humanity, his body became more steadily and more extremely affected by the factors that humanity brings with it."

"So that's why he's been so sick? Because his body can't handle it?"

"Not without..." The englishman hesitates, averting his eyes to the floor.

"Without what?" Getting no response from any of them, Buffy's strangled voice shouts out to them once more. "Damn it- without what?!"

"The sacrifice..." Giles resumes softly. "The humanity has to be anchored by an ultimate, noble sacrifice-"

"You call letting someone drink your blood noble?!" Cordelia blurts out in her typical fashion. "It's just gross if you ask me."

"What is she babbling about?" Buffy sighs, sounding frustrated and harried even to herself. "Guys- just stop, okay! Stop with the cryptic and tell me what Angel needs to get better!"

There was a moment's silence before Giles lifts his eyes to her. He had an expression on his face Buffy couldn't quite read- she didn't believe she'd ever seen it before. Somewhere between hopelessness and disbelief at what he was about to tell her.

"Your blood. If Angel doesn't...without your blood to maintain him, well..."

Buffy slips into a sudden daze, her ears falling deaf to Giles' stammering. She could only gaze at them all, her eyes bright and lustrous with the emotions running rampant throughout her- shock, bewilderment, confusion, but never once, for a single moment, do her mind and heart harbor any doubt as to what she would do tonight. And while she remains there, mesmerized by all that she'd finally been informed of, tears begin to spill out of her eyes.

"It took you all...three days...to tell me any of this while I've had to stand by...watching my lover die. My only question for you is why?"

"Buffy...we didn't want to-"

"What?!" she turns to face Giles more fully. "You didn't want to worry me, is that it?! Didn't want to get my hopes up that Angel could finally gain back the humanity that was stolen from him?!"

"Well...those make our top ten list," Xander tries lightening their mood, but finds his efforts met with a round of sharp glares.

"This is fun for you, isn't it Xander?!" Buffy yells at him, trying to stifle a sob. "Everything's just one big joke to you, isn't it? Always has been..."

Taken aback by her outburst, Xander goes to speak up, but stops himself once he feels Cordelia's hand come to rest on his shoulder. The other Scoobs, unsure of how to act, continue staring after Buffy as she makes her way over to the stairs. Wishing she could somehow redo the past 72 hours, Willow follows after her.

"What can we..." she reaches out a tentative hand to place on her best friend's shoulder, but winds up pulling it back when she feels Buffy flinch away.

"Don't...touch me."

"Please..." the redhead, now on the verge of tears herself, desperately tries again. "What can we do?"

"Leave...go home. All of you...just leave us here..."

"Wait a minute-" Xander pushes past Cordelia, no longer able to hold himself back. "You're not actually going to go through with this, are you? You're going to let him...feed off of you? How do we even know this prophecy is the real deal?"

"Xander..." Giles tries warning him, but again finds himself incapable of reaching any of them.

"No- I'm serious! Buffy, this is insane! You're the slayer, and you're gonna let a vampire- umph!!" Xander's head goes reeling back, his body following suit, as the impact of Buffy's solid punch almost knocks him off of his feet.

"I would die for him..." she proudly states, turning to head up the stairs once again. "Now go...there's nothing that any of you can do or say. If you're not all gone when I come back down...I'll put you all out myself."

Seeing Xander take another step towards stopping her, Giles grabs him by the arm, pulling him back into the great hall. "Don't. Let's just go."

"You've got to be kidding me! You're just gonna let her stay here to have him sink his fangs into her?!"

"Now you listen to me!" Giles' yell matches Xander as he grabs him more forcefully, surprising himself and the others. "I am not leaving her here to have a vampire feed from her...I'm leaving her here to give her and a fine young man who all of us, including *you*, have come to trust and depend on over the years, a chance at a normal life together. A chance to forge a new destiny for the both of them, away from the darkness they've both been condemned to for so long.

In case you haven't noticed, that girl loves and needs him more than anyone else in her life- including all of us. And Angel has proven on more than one occasion just how much he worships her. So unless you plan on spending the next few evenings in the intensive care unit of the hospital, may I suggest that for once you shut up and go home!"

******

Black, orange, white, and red
Dresses hanging off your bed
From now until you reach your grave
Baby I will be your slave

When she's certain that the others have left, Buffy enters Angel's room, taking a seat on the bed. She can hear Angel whimpering in his sleep, caught up in a delirious state. She glances around the room, finally noticing where all of her things had traveled.

"Buffy..." comes Angel's weak voice as he takes a few haggard breaths. "It's you..."

"It's me," she forces a smile out, placing a gentle hand against his sweaty cheek. "I see you and mom have already planned on renting out my room," she chuckles, happy to see a small smile form at the corners of his mouth.

"I wanted to...to surprise you. For graduation...moving in with me." After a fit of painful coughing he continues. "Won't get to have it now...

"Don't talk like that...we'll be all cuddled up with Mr. Gordo tomorrow night."

"I didn't...want to go without seeing you."

"Angel..." she begins, forcing back her own tears, "...I can cure you."

"It's okay..." he whispers, taking another gulp of air. "I'm ready."

"Angel, listen to me- sit up," she instructs him, wincing herself as she sees a bolt of pain cross his features. "You're going to live. You *have* to live...and you're going to be human," her mouth betrays her, forming a small smile at the thought.

"Giles...Willow...told you?" At her simple nod, he presses further for an answer. "What do I...the sacrifice...Willow never told me...what is it?" He sees her eyes dead set on his own, a fervent determination in her voice as she answers him.

"Drink..." Angel's eyes search her face in a state of confusion, watching as she removes his own leather jacket, revealing even more of her skin through her black tank top. "Drink me..."

Ask for your hand to hold
I could never be so bold
I could never be so brave
Baby I will be your slave

Angel feels a cold thread of terror slip down the center of his mind. "No..." he hears himself say in a panicked voice.

"It's the only way." Her voice comes sharp, holding a commanding note he'd rarely heard her use.

"Get away..." Desperate to get himself as far away from her and the idea as possible, he pushes her aside, trying to pull himself to his feet.

"It'll save you. Angel- you'll be human."

"It'll kill you," he matches her resolute voice, closing his mind off to the demon's voice raging within to break her skin and drink from her lifeforce.

"Maybe not- not if you don't take it all."

"You can't ask me to do this."

"I won't let you die," Buffy softly cries. "I can't."

"No...I won't. I'd rather die...it's over..."

I had a dream of bleeding skies
Crippled legs and static eyes
All I stole and all I gave
Baby I will be your slave

Stumbling on his feet, Angel clumsily makes his way down the stairs, reaching a hand out to steady himself against a wall as he crosses over into the great hall. Losing his balance, his legs giving way, he feels himself falling forward, knocking into the nearby table. Buffy catches him in time to prevent his full descent to the floor, pulling him back to his feet where he stands with his head spinning and his stomach churning.

"It's never over- not with us! It will never be over with us! I won't let you die. Drink..."

"Please..." he begs her, tearing his eyes away from her, trying to maintain his resolve.

Seeing no other way, Buffy does what she realizes she should've done at first. She balls up her fist, whips it back, and sends it straight across Angel's jaw, praying his demon would bring forth its rage, gaining control. Only slightly reeling from the blow, Angel lifts his head back up to face her. He wanted Buffy to see him, to see him on the verge of tears himself at what she was asking him to do. But once again he feels her fist connect with his face, this time more forcefully.

Staggering on his feet by now, he meets her gaze again, his eyes momentarily traveling to the curve of her neck. He quickly turns his head, sickened by what she offered to do, yet full of admiration that she has the courage and love for him to do so. Buffy swallows a small sob before punching him a third time, finally succeeding in her task, bringing his demon to the surface, forcing his game face on.

He feels Buffy's hand go up, wrapping around his neck, and tries to stop her, but there was no strength left in his body or mind. Buffy draws in a convulsive breath and pulls his face to the curve of her neck, cradling him in a strong grip to keep him from tearing away from her. His hesitation lasts only a moment before he hugs her tightly to him, supporting her back with a steady arm, feeling her tremble as he breaks through her skin.

I'm broken, lost in misery
But you don't have to worry about me
I have no more soul to save
So baby I will be your slave

Her heart beating in her ears, her breaths coming more rapidly, Buffy chokes down a whimper as she feels the first few trickles of blood sliding down her neck. The strength flows out of her legs and she feels herself slip backwards onto the floor, Angel quickly following. As he slides an arm around her, supporting his weight with the other, without thinking, he plunges his fangs in deeper, eliciting a soft moan from her that dances with his own.

Buffy's body shifts forward and her head lolls back, the skin of her face flushed with the intensity surging through her. She'd always loved him with a passion that ached, that burned inside of her, but this new sensation went beyond mere physicality, reaching a part of her soul she'd never known existed until feeling her lover, her soulmate, drink of her essence.

The impulse created between the two was so strong it overrode any coherent thoughts playing in Angel's mind. Just as his demon was raging within, his soul screams out from underneath as the slayer's potent blood spills down his throat. From out of the corner of his eye he sees Buffy's arm fly out, her hand grasping onto a metal pitcher he'd knocked over in his attempt to outrun her. In a split-second, the metal twists and contourts underneath her grip, making a clinking resonance that almost overshadows their own intense sighs.

Angel slides up a hand, cradling her head as he begins to feel her heartbeat pulsing through him, giving back life to his own cold dead one. He clings to her as he feels her settle her legs alongside his waist, her hands coming to rest on his back as she pulses underneath of him. Buffy's entire body clenches, her leg jolting out with her own powerful release, breaking the nearby table into two splintered pieces.

He moans against her throat when she grasps him a final time, trying to recover any sense of self. Pulling away from her with a jerk, he feels his face, now rid of his vampiric features, dripping wet. The moisture may have beem from sweat or it might have been tears. "Oh god..."

Little by little, Angel's strength returns and he crawls back over to an unconscious Buffy. "Buffy?" He smoothes a hand over her throat, feeling for a pulse but finding none. "Buffy..."

******

"We need help! She's lost a lot of blood!" With Buffy cradled in his trembling arms, Angel charges into the emergency room, demanding someone help them.

"What happened?" a nurse approaches him, leading him to a free operating room.

"She needs blood. She's lost a lot of blood..." he repeats, finding himself unable to produce much more of an explanation.

"Try to stay calm. We're going to take care of her," the nurse tries comforting him as he lays her out on the table.

"Something bit her. She needs a transfusion- now!"

"You found her?" the attending doctor makes his way over to them. "Was she conscious?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! I'm sure!" The doctor gives his instructions to the nurse, then pulls aside Angel to gather more information. "Tell me what happened."

"Something bit her- I don't know what."

"Any allergies?"

"None-" he almost growls, breaking off a piece of the door behind him with his arm, surprised by the fact that he could still do so. "Just help her."

"We'll do everything we can," he promises. "But you'll have to wait outside." Passing a glance to her, not trying to make sense of the situation, only wanting it to go away, he hears himself muttering something to the doctor. "A phone..."

"Right out there," he points before returning to the room to help the poor young girl who'd just been brought in.

Angel stares thoughtlessly at the payphone as he dials Buffy's home, fully expecting the worst reaction from Joyce.

"Hello?"

"Joyce..."

"Angel! Where are you? Are you alright?"

"The hospital..." he whispers, so quietly she strains to hear him. "Buffy..."

"I'll be right down!"

He had expected her accusations to come immediately but figured she'd save that for a face to face confrontation. Lifting a shaky hand to dial again, he almost flinches away when he hears Willow's voice answer after the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Willow-"

"Angel! What happened? What's wrong?"

"Hospital..." He finds his vocabulary quickly dwindling with his second call, hoping Willow would volunteer to inform the others.

"Oh god- I'll get everyone- we're on our way!"

******

"Where's my daughter?" To say that Hank was panicked would've been a severe overstatement. With Joyce only a few steps behind him, the overwhelmed father runs clear past a still in shock Angel, pounding on the nurses' counter. "Buffy Summers...where is she? Where's my daughter?!"

"Sir, she's still receiving treatment," the young nurse explains. "She's lost a tremendous amount of blood. It's a good thing that young man over there found her when he did, otherwise..." She sits back in awe, watching Hank snap around to set his eyes on Angel.

"What happened to her?" he demands, marching over to where the newly turned human Angel sits. "Damn it-" he grabs him by his sweater, pulling him to his feet, "I said what happened to her?!"

"Hank!" Joyce shouts, raising a hand to his shoulder, tearing him off of Angel. Hastily brushing past him, she pulls Angel to the side, her voice more calm, but still near the breaking point. "What happened?"

Angel stares at her dully before giving any response. "She...she..." Seeing him still in a horrorified state, she leads him over to a seat, sitting down alongside him. "Angel...please..." Joyce places a hand aross his chest, "what happ-" Focusing more intently on what she comes to discover beating beneath her hand, she takes notice of his face, full of more color than she was used to seeing. As their eyes meet, she can almost feel the new life pumping through his system. "Oh my-" < How? This is impossible.> "Angel...you're alive," she breathes out as more of a question than an observation.

Watching as he swallows the lump in his throat, Joyce turns her head towards the room where Buffy was still being treated, trying to piece everything into some sort of perspective. < There's something else going on here...>

"Mr. and Mrs. Summers?" the young nurse calls over to them, "the doctor has just finished up with Buffy."

"Is she alright?" Hank asks.

"She'll be fine. She's had a transfusion and she's regained consciousness. You can go in and see her now. Only two at a time though..." she trails off, her eyes casting a slightly timid glance at the young man who'd so brazenly and dauntingly brought her in for treatment.

"You'll be okay?" Joyce checks with Angel, not exactly wanting to leave him in his state. He slowly nods without looking up at her, feeling a small pat on his shoulder before she and Hank head down the hall to Buffy's room.

"Sweetheart..." Hank breathes a sigh of relief upon seeing his daugher sitting up in bed. He wraps her up into a tight hug, being careful not to upset the bandage that was gracing the side of her neck. "Thank god you're alright. What happened?" After receiving the same treatment from her mother, Buffy comes up with an explanation.

"Well I was at Angel's to- to see why he never showed up at the house. He had...been resting and just lost track of the time. We were walking back to the house and...something just leapt out at us. I don't even know what it was-"

"And he didn't protect you!" Hank immediately shouts.

"He couldn't, dad! It got him too!"

"He looks perfectly fine to me!"

"Is he okay?" Buffy moves forward on the bed, trying to pull herself to her feet but finds herself being restrained by both of her parents.

"You're staying right here until the doctor clears you to come home," Joyce's stern voice informs her. "I'll send Angel in."

Despite Hank's immediate protests, Joyce pushes him aside to go out into the hall to get Angel. But before she even reaches him, she can feel her ex-husband's hand grabbing her arm from behind, spinning her around to face him. "Are you crazy, Joyce? I don't want my daughter going anywhere near him from this point on!"

"Excuse me, but *our* daughter is eighteen years old, has a very level head, and is in love with a fine young man who's never done a single thing that wasn't in her best interest..." she pulls away from him before adding "...unlike some..."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I don't understand why suddenly you've decided to take such an interest in her life- it's not like you've bothered much in the past few years. So either you can make yourself useful for a change and go to the cafeteria to grab us some coffee, or you can wait for me to call security and have them escort you out of this hospital...unless of course you'd like me to show you out in my own special way?!"

Seeing no point in fighting, though completely shocked by how a woman he thought he had known so well could be in full support of letting their daughter continue a relationship with this young man, Hank storms off down the hall to the elevators, heading up to the cafeteria.

"Joyce!" Giles, with Willow and Oz following behind, comes running down the hall, anxious for news on Buffy. "Where's Buffy? Is she alright?"

"She's fine, she's fine," she assures them, leading them along to where Angel still sat in a daze. "The doctors gave her a transfusion..."

Three sets of eyes come to rest on Angel, not necessarily accusing, but still questionable to say the least. "Can we see her?" Willow asks.

"Of course- but she wants to see Angel now..." Joyce rests a hand on his shoulder, grabbing his attention. "Angel? Buffy wants to see you."

Blinking back his own tears, Angel stands to his feet, a slight hunch and uneasiness in his step as he slowly makes his approach to Buffy's room.

"Where are Xander and Cordelia?" Joyce asks, taking a seat along with the others.

"I called them," Willow answers, "they're on their way."

"Joyce..." Giles turns in his chair to fully face her, "there are a few things we need to tell you," he begins before outlining the past week for her, finally giving her the answers she'd been looking for.

"So no wonder Angel is so upset...my god..."

******

Angel finally reaches her room, slowly leaning his head in, but Buffy instantly spots him. "Angel!" she shoots up from the bed, pulling him into a tight embrace, but is surprised to find him give her barely any response. She rests her head against his chest, tears nearly springing to her eyes as she feels his steady heartbeat against her cheek. She grasps his hand, leading him over to the bed so that she can sit down, still feeling a bit lightheaded. She tries pulling him down to sit beside her, but finds him resisting. Leaning up to gently kiss him, a small gasp escapes her lips when he pulls away from her. "Angel...what's wrong?" No response. "Are you okay?"

Angel barely nods his head in recognition. Buffy softly traces a finger along the hand she was still gripping as she notices the tears welling up in his eyes. "Angel..."

"I'm sorry..." he says with a weak voice. "Buffy, I'm so sorry..."

"No...don't do this, Angel," she gets out between her own sobs. "Don't you do this, Angel- you have nothing to be sorry for." He seems lifeless to her, and at a moment when he'd finally, after so long, regained his humanity, this scared her beyond words. "Angel, I'm fine. *We're* fine, and you're *human*," she emphasizes, giving his hand another squeeze. "That's all that matt-"

"I lost the last breathe of me that was human when I fed from you..."

Although her eyes were by now streaming with tears, Buffy puts on her most resolved face, reaching out to grab him and pulls him into her arms despite his struggle. "I love you," she whispers against his temple. She pulls out of their forced embrace to capture his eyes with her own intense gaze. "We're going home- now."

"No..." His returned, more forceful speech takes her by surprise as she gets out of bed, headed for the door. "You're staying here. You're still-"

"We're going home," she repeats, her voice this time deadset as she grabs his reluctant hand once more, leading him out into the hall and over to the counter. "Who do I talk to about being released?"

"Released?" the nurse eyes her warily. "Miss Summers, you've experienced quite a bit of trauma tonight and you've lost a significant amount of blood. It would be in your best interest to-"

"It would be in my *best interest* to be able to make my own damn decisions for once in my life!" she shouts, knowing full well that her friends were listening to her every word. "Now where's my doctor?"

"Honey, honey-" Joyce walks over to her, placing a warm hand on her shoulder as if to calm her down. "Mr. Giles and I will go talk to the doctor about getting you released tonight." Joyce and Giles leave with Buffy to follow the nurse down the hall, as Angel takes a seat next to Willow and Oz.

"Are you okay?" Oz looks over to him. "Angel?"

Angel looks to him, startled, as if his voice had brought him out of a deep private reverie. "No..." His calm broke. He fetches a deep sigh and runs a hand distractedly through his hair. "I...god...what I did...to her...to Buffy..." Willow and Oz can only look to each other, trying to think of how to possibly respond.

"I'm out of here," the three can hear the slayer's voice as she, Joyce, and Giles return.

"Oh- I'd better go get your father," Joyce sighs, turning in the opposite direction to head upstairs. "Wait right here. We'll be down in a minute."

"Buffy..." Willow places a tentative hand on her friend's arm, hoping she wouldn't flinch away from her touch again. "Are you sure you're-"

"I'm fine," she quickly retorts, moving over to pull Angel to his feet. "We're going home."

Buffy forces Angel to look up at her, holding his face in her hands. As she looks anxiously into his eyes, her ears pick up on the voices quickly approaching from down the hall.

"Xander-" Cordelia's is the first that Buffy can make out. "Don't!"

"You bastard!"

After shoving Buffy out of the way from behind, Xander grabs Angel, and locking his arms behind his head, slams him face first into the wall. In an instant, he pulls him away, whipping him into a nearby metal cart, sending him flipping over it, injuring Angel's knee in the process.

"Xander!" Buffy yells, rushing him from behind, knocking him off to the side.

"What is going on here?!" one of the nurses behind the front desk calls over, while another reaches over for the phone to call security. Not wanting to complicate matters any more, Giles hurries over to plead with her to withhold any call. "We'll handle this- I swear it. Xander!! Outside- now!"

"The hell with that!" he snaps back, going to lunge for Angel once more but finds Buffy standing in his way. "Buffy- get out of the way! You're still hurt!"

"Get the hell out of here, Xander!! Now!!"

"Buffy-" he makes another move forward until Buffy grabs hold of his arm.

"If you touch him, I'll kill you."

"We're not leaving you with him! *I'm* not leaving you with him!"

"You don't have a choice! Oh- actually you do. You either leave now, or you stay for six months eating all your meals through a straw!!

"I'm calling security," the fervent nurse calls over again, but before she can grab the phone, Giles grabs Xander from behind. "Outside- now!!" With Oz's help, Giles succeeds in removing him from the scene, dragging him out to the parking lot.

As Cordelia and Willow rush to Buffy's side, their eyes finally take in Angel's condition. His forehead was now graced by a three inch gash that was bleeding profusely and he was having trouble standing to his feet.

"Is he alright?" Cordelia breathes out, genuinely concerned for what she could only assume was a now very much human Angel.

Before Buffy can answer them, Angel braces himself against the wall, pulling a hand up to his head as he looks to them. His injured leg would barely support him as he begins a retreat down the hall. An orderly pulls him to a halt once he spots his injured condition.

"Sir, you need-" Angel was vaguely aware that he had tossed the young man into a nearby room before he could even finish his sentence.

"Angel!" Buffy cries, pacing after him. "Wait!"

"Go home, Buffy!" He tries outrunning her, but she quickly catches up to him in his weakened state. She wraps an arm around his shoulders, leaning her head against his arm.

"We *are* going home."

"No- wait for your parents, and just go home!"

Extracting himself from her arms, Angel staggers down the hall, reaching the glass doors and disappears around the corner, leaving Buffy standing, the tears flowing freely down her face as her world becomes a wild blur.

"Buffy..." Cordy and Willow make their way over to her, looking to each other as to what they could do. "Are you..."

"Can we do anything?" Willow cuts into the brunette's thought. Staring straight ahead down the hall Angel had just left her in, Buffy offers them her last three words before making her own departure.

"Go to hell..."

******

Part 12

The cold rain came, fierce winds blowing through the opened windows of Joyce's room. Ontop of the bed, curled up into a tiny ball, lay the slayer, waiting for her mother to return from downstairs. < Go home, Buffy...> She thought back to Angel's last words to her, thunderstruck. She should've said something, made some sort of effort to stop him, but she couldn't seem to get past her feeling of disconnection from him.

"Honey..." Joyce's voice comes wafting into the room, "Willow called again." Buffy clenches the pillow she was holding tightly at mention of the wiccan. She must've been so caught up in her own brooding that she'd never heard the phone ring for the fifth time since she and her mother had returned home from the hospital. "Wanted me to tell you to please call her."

Joyce was well aware as to what had happened at the hospital in those few moments she had left to find Hank, but the severity of it was just now dawning on her as her ears pick up on Buffy's sobbing. She'd returned to the emergency room to find Willow and Cordelia staring blankly down the hospital's corridor. They'd told her about Xander's rash actions, Angel's cold departure, and pointed her down the hall to find her daughter. After peering into a few sets of rooms, she finally made out Buffy's outline through the pouring rain, seeing her standing out in the parking lot just as the storm had started.

"Honey..." She crosses the room, settling down on the bed, cuddling her daughter across her lap. Running a hand through Buffy's hair, she tries calming her enough to get her to talk. "Things will be okay."

"How?" She turns her head slightly to look up at her. "I don't know anybody anymore..."

"Buffy," Joyce takes a deep sigh, trying to gather her thoughts, "I know you feel like Willow and Mr. Giles betrayed you-"

"They never told me until he was dying, mom! About an hour before Angel was set to die was when they finally were so kind as to tell me what was going on and that I was the only one who could've saved him all along!" What had been the easy task of simple breathing just seconds ago was now becoming a struggle as Buffy's sobs begin welling up inside, wracking her small frame. She breathes in a steady, calming breath before continuing in an even lower voice. "How do you even begin to forgive that? How can...how can anyone deserve to be forgiven for that?"

"We don't forgive people because they deserve it, honey. We forgive people because they need it. And even though I don't think Mr. Giles and Willow's secrecy was the wisest decision either one of them has ever made, I still believe that their intentions were good ones-"

"Yeah...trying to make my decisions for me- as always. God mom..." Buffy sits up, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I just can't do this anymore. Between Giles, and Willow, and Xander...and dad," she adds as an afterthought, "I can't stand knowing that they think they know what's best for me all the time." The slayer closes her eyes tightly as if to help keep the image from coming into full view in her mind, "I could've killed them for what they did tonight."

"Who?"

"Dad and Xander. It's bad enough that Angel's already low self-esteem guy, but dad didn't help improve upon it with all he had to say."

"That's just your father's way, dear," Joyce reflects with a somber note. "Always has been."

"And then Xander- I never thought he could be so unimaginably heartless."

In a way, Joyce agreed on almost every level with her daughter. And since she was opening up voluntarily for the first time in years, she'd be damned if she was going to toss out any criticisms. "And Angel..." she finally begs the question, knowing full well he was the first and last thing on Buffy's mind.

"He wouldn't...even look at me..." Joyce translates from her daughter's soft wimpering. < Go home, Buffy...> "And he was hurt...and he wouldn't even..."

"Oh, honey...honey..." Side by side mother and daughter lay, Joyce's arms protectively wrapped around her little girl. She couldn't help but ache for both her and the young man she'd come to regard so highly.

An hour dragged by like a year, and still Buffy hadn't made a move to leave her mother's arms. "Buffy..." Joyce begins tentatively, afraid to spoil the soft peacefulness that had falled over them, "how are you feeling?"

"I don't know..."

Joyce pulls slightly away from her to sit up and face her fully. Looking at her for the longest moment, her eyes lower to the curve of her neck, now bandage free. The small mark that was already beginning to scar graced her skin and stood out to her as a chilling reminder as to the evening's events. "Are you sure that doesn't hurt?"

Spotting her mother's eyes trailing over her warily, Buffy immediately goes on the defense. "Mom- he had to. I had to make him- he wouldn't do it, do you know that? He would've rather died than having to do it, and I'm sure he would've if I hadn't knocked him so far out of it that his demon took over." Still seeing her brow furrowing at the sight of the mark she now bared, Buffy sits up as well. "Mom...don't..."

"I'm not, honey. Just like you, I don't think Angel could ever do any wrong in my eyes. It's just...it's just a little much for a mother to take in at once." She makes a gentle grab of the blonde's hand, running her thumb over the back of it. "And if I'm having this hard of a time adjusting to all that's just happened...if seeing how he was when he brought you to the hospital was any clear indication, Angel must be beside himself."

Buffy didn't offer any other response than to pull herself to her feet, give Joyce a quick hug goodbye, and begin her run to the mansion...her run home.

******

Angel sits silent in front of the mansion's fireplace, from time to time staring off into the sudden feeling of empitness that accompanied the absence of his lover. Without her presence, everything just seemed to be frozen within the immaculate building's walls- including him. Each time the image or sensation of drinking from his beloved would enter his thoughts, he'd smother a cry- a now-warm hand hovering over his mouth; something wild and frightening burgeoned in his heart just from the idea that he'd fed from her.

It was the sudden knocking at the doors that finally tore him away from his brooding. After a bit of a struggle, he pulls himself to his feet, still favoring his left leg, the right seemingly being twisted or torn at the knee. He could feel himself quivering all over, his mind still reeling from the evening's events. As he pulls back the door, his head almost instinctively lowers as his guest offers him a cold, hard, resolute face upon being greeted.

"Hello Hank..."

******

Part 13

Hank Summers brushes past Angel, hastily making his way into the mansion. Angel takes a step back, slowly closing the door behind him as he turns towards him.

"You're hurt..." Hank observes, a true master of the obvious as he watches Angel limping over to where he stood.

"It's nothing..." Angel softly replies, still averting his eyes from Buffy's father. "I slipped leaving the hospital-"

"Is that so?" Angel suddenly feels very wary of Hank's almost accusing tone, and he fights to control the terrible sinking feeling that was developing in his stomach. "Xander tells things a little differently."

A wave of panic and sheer dread washes over the former vampire upon hearing Hank's revelation. "Xander's filled me in on quite a few things these past few hours," Hank continues, folding his arms across his chest. "And it's a good thing we were both still at the hospital when he did, because after hearing everything, I'm surprised I didn't drop dead right there in the emergency room. But then..." he moves over to where Angel was sitting on the arm of the sofa, "...I suppose you would know all there is to know about *dying*, wouldn't you?"

Angel was taken aback by this bold inference, and he struggles to keep himself calm. "Hank...I-"

"I want you out of my daugher's life- completely and permanently. I don't want you to spend one more moment with Buffy. You're not the type of person I dreamed about her finding. I had someone else- anyone human- in mind."

Angel says the only thing he can, flatly declaring, "I am human-"

"After feeding from my daughter!" Hank's voice echos off of the mansion's towering walls, resonating in Angel's ears. "It's hard enough finding out that my daughter is some sort of freak herself, but I will not have her-"

"Buffy's not a freak!" Angel snaps back, beginning to feel the anger building within. He was already thoroughly upset by the remarks Hank had directed to him, but he wouldn't stand for him insulting Buffy in any way.

"I can make your life a living hell, Angel. Whether you're human now or not- it doesn't change what you are. Just because you've won over Joyce and the others doesn't gain you points as a decent person. Buffy may not see what you really are- but I do." Hank pauses, then adds, "You know, even talking about my daughter being with you in any sense is turning my stomach. So right about now, I think you'd better-"

"I think you'd better leave, Mr. Summers," comes Giles' voice from the doorway. Angel and Hank turn to see the ex-watcher with a stern glint in his eye as he walks over to them. "I can't really see you having any business here with your ridiculous accusations-"

"Accusations?! Are you denying the fact that he's a vampire and has just ravaged my poor daughter to save his own ass?!"

"A vampire?? And I suppose if Xander told you that Willow was a witch or Oz was a werewolf you'd believe that too?" Angel can't help but give Giles a look at the all too true revelations he'd just made, though Hank was never the wiser.

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Well then- you see my point," Giles sighs.

"No- what I see is my daughter with a strange bite mark on her neck where this..." he throws a pointed stare to Angel, "...this *thing* mauled her! And while you and Joyce encourage it, I won't stand by and watch my daughter being warped by some demon!"

"No...but that's considering you would ever stay around your daughter long enough to take notice of anything important to her in her life," Giles spits out, Hank's stunned face letting him know that he'd finally gotten to him.

"I don't think my relationship with *my* daughter is any concern of yours! Now for the last time, I don't want my daughter around this monster!"

"You sir, are severely trying my patience!" Giles makes a shove at Hank's chest, pushing him slightly away from a stunned Angel. "Angel is no monster!"

"No..." comes an unyielding voice from behind all three of them. "The two of you are..."

Buffy storms in through the mansion's front doors, heading immediately to her father and former watcher. "Get out," she commands in a low, guttural tone. "The both of you get out- now."

Hank smiles and says placatingly, "Buffy, you're just upset. If you would only do what I say, calm down, and think this over rationally, you would realize that I only have your best interests at heart."

"Do what you say?? Since when do I have to do what you say, or what anyone else says for that matter?! I know you've been out of the loop for the past few years when it comes to me and just about everybody else you supposedly *love*, dad, but in case you've forgotten- I'm eighteen!"

"And since when does that mean a parent stops looking out for their child?"

"When a child can no longer respect their parent's opinion!" Buffy answers him back. "And as of this moment, you just proved why I've lost all respect for you! Now get out while you still can," she orders again. "Get out before I throw you out."

"This isn't your home, Buffy," he says reasonably, as if addressing a child having a fit.

"Well, it is now," Giles chimes in, throwing a glance around the boxes holding her things. "Please do leave."

Hank looks at everyone in the room in turn. He had known that his actions wouldn't initially go over well, but he was certain he was doing the right thing for his daughter. He had been gone from her life far too long already. He needed to atone for his absence, and he would do that by ensuring that Buffy did not make this mistake in her life. He was confident that eventually she would see it his way.

"I'm just looking out for my daughter's best interests," he says after a long pause. "I can't let her endanger herself by being around him. I'm just trying to protect you."

"In case you haven't noticed..." Buffy walks over to him, leaning up to stare him directly in the eyes, "I don't need any protecting- from anyone, least of all Angel. Now get out before you need some protecting of your own."

Looking intently at Angel for a final time, he turns and makes his departure back to his hotel, leaving Giles to fend for himself. "Buffy..."

"Just don't, Giles- okay," the slayer holds up a hand to stop him from continuing. "Not tonight. Just...get out."

"I understand and respect your wishes, Buffy," Giles calmly begins before taking off his jacket. "But I'm not leaving here until I've examined Angel.

"Ex..." The initial sound was the only one Giles and Buffy had heard Angel make since they'd arrived at the mansion. "Examined?"

"I'd like to take a look at your leg, among other things. See how your body is reacting to...being human again..."

Giles looks over to Buffy as if checking for permission. Receiving only a blank stare as a response, he slips an arm underneath Angel's shoulders, trying to lead him upstairs to tend to him. Seeing him struggling, Buffy races over, making a move to support him from the other side, but finds her attempts being brushed off once more.

"What are you..." Angel breathes out, tossing a sideglance to her, looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. "Buffy- what are you doing? Why did you come here? I told you to go home." Taking hold of his gaze with her resolute face, she places a hand over his heart, surprised that he doesn't immediately pull back from her.

"I *am* home..."

******

"Why are you doing this?"

Giles eyes shoot up as he hears Angel's faint whisper. As he places another layer of bandaging around his knee, Giles offers him the only response that comes to mind. "Because I want to." Another few minutes of awkward silence linger between the two until Giles speaks again. "You'll have to stay off of this for a week or two...take things easy."

The two sit in heavy silence for the duration of Giles' examination, the librarian's occassional 'hmms' being the only sounds radiating through Angel's room. "Take this..." Giles hands over a single white pill to him, along with a glass of water. "It'll help with the pain. Help you get to sleep."

"It doesn't...hurt as much as it was," Angel remarks, absentmindedly wondering just why it didn't. "I am tired though."

"Well...just one more stitch, and...there." Giles sits back, reaching around to grab a nearby mirror to allow Angel to give his work on his forehead a quick once over.

Letting out a small laugh, Angel averts his eyes from having to stare into the mirrored glass that would now bear his own reflection. Instead, he leans back, sinking into the pillows and sheets. "You know, it's funny..."

"What's that?"

"All these years...not being able to see myself...my reflection. Now that I can...I can't stand the sight of it."

******

The sound of medical tape being wrapped jars Buffy from the few moments of sleep she'd been able to grab hold of while waiting downstairs as requested by both Giles and Angel. Though she was at first hurt and distraught by Angel's plea with her not to come upstairs with them, she was at least glad that he hadn't asked her to leave altogether.

"He's, umm..." she picks up on the englishman's voice as he makes his descent down the stairway. "He's all finished. I put a few stiches in his forehead and taped up his knee. He should try to stay off of it until it fully heals...which, if my theory holds true, shouldn't take too long."

"Theory? What theory- oh no, wait...maybe you'd like a week's time before you decide to fill me in on it," Buffy can't help but offer him her sharp response, noticing as his eyes nervously avert her angry glare.

"At the hospital, your doctor told me that Angel became so upset at seeing you in your condition that he broke off a piece of a door with a single swipe. He also told me about him tossing one of their staff almost twenty feet through the air- after he was...attacked by...Xander."

"Point being?"

"I think it's safe to assume that along with the life that your blood gave Angel, it also fed him your strength and abilities. Of course, he's not a slayer, and this is all in theory, but still...he'll be human and still be able to fight without much fear of being hurt. The next few days will be hard on him...physically and mentally. He's still...adjusting. But he should be just fine in due time." He moves over to where his jacket was laying over the sofa, gently lifting it into his arms. "I, uh...assume you'll be staying the night?"

"Giles...I live here now."

"Oh. Well, I mean...I didn't think you'd...I didn't think he'd still..." Giles decides to put his ramblings to rest, anxious to return home to salvage a few hours of sleep from the tiring day. "You'll be alright with him? Ta- taking care of him, I mean?"

"What do you think?" Turning on her heel without even saying goodbye, Buffy leaves Giles standing in the hall as she quickly jogs up the stairs, down the familiar hall to the master bedroom.

His soft breathing was a welcomed new sound escaping the darkness of the room. Taking a deep sigh, Buffy crosses the floor over to the bed, sitting down softly beside her sleeping lover. She stands there looking at him, caught in a trance, almost wishing her body wasn't demanding sleep just so she could stay awake watching him. She eventually drifts back to reality, shedding her clothes and reaching into the bureau, extracting a black silk shirt of Angel's that she'd long since made her own.

Careful not to wake him, she eases under the sheets, maneuvering herself so that she was curled up against Angel's chest, feeling her own heart skip a few beats upon hearing his own steady rhythm. She holds him tightly, her shapely form enveloping him into a warm embrace, clutching him so fervently that her breasts were flattened out against his chest. And then, just as her eyelids begin to droop closed, she hears him faintly murmur her name in his sleep, reaching a hand around to tug at her waist, pulling her even closer.

"I love you..." she whispers against his skin. Her final thought before succumbing to sleep rested on the hope that in the morning, he would be able to offer her his own matching response.

******

Part 14

Angel was surprised, though somewhat appreciative, to feel a few fragments of sunlight dancing across his face the next morning. With a low moan, laying on his left side, he opens an eye to see that Giles must've left the curtains open when he'd finished examining him last night. He lays still for a moment, his eyes trying to fully adjust to a brightness they hadn't experienced in ages. Rubbing his face with his bare arm, he finally allows his eyes to travel down the sheets, staring with surprising slowness at the warm body clinging to his own.

Her arms and legs wrapped around him as if to prevent him from making an escape, Buffy was resting peacefully in his arms, a small smile across her lips. Unable to resist the impulse, Angel runs his fingers through her hair, sighing down at her sleeping form as he wraps his arms around her and snuggles down into the covers with her. Resting his head ontop of her own, his lips reach down to press a gentle kiss against her hair.

"Angel...?" Immediately feeling him stir, Buffy's eyes slowly open as she lifts her head up to face him. "Hi..."

"Hi..." he whispers back, unsure of what to say next.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asks, leaning up on her elbow. Getting no further response, she tries another approach and leans over to kiss him.

"Don't..." he holds her back at arm's length preventing any embrace. He sits up, swinging his legs over his side of the bed, turning his back to her.

"Angel- you're not going to do this," she states, sliding over to him, wrapping an arm around his bare waist to pull herself completely to him. "I'm not going to *let* you do this," she says against his back, feeling him wince in response. "Not after everything that's happened-"

"After everything that's happened..." his voice drops to an almost inaudible whisper, "...you shouldn't even be around me."

Before she can respond, he turns his head to look back at her, opening his mouth as if to say something else, but hesitates. "I..."

"You what?"

"I...I'm leaving."

The two words leave Buffy's face numb and pale from shock and she can barely breathe as she pulls away from him. Forcing herself to take some sort of control, she moves to sit beside him, grabbing his shoulders, turning him to her. "What do you mean you're leaving? You're leaving Sunnydale? You're leaving me?"

"I already did..." Confused by his not uncommon crypticness, she passes him a teary stare. "Buffy- whatever you saw in me that held any goodness at all, left me last night-"

"I'm not going to listen to this!" she gasps, standing from the bed to approach him more forcefully. "You didn't *drink* from me-" she says sharply, "I *fed* you my blood to save your life...to turn you human..." her last few words barely escape her sobs as she begins pacing in front of him. "You're just going to give up? Give up on me...on us? I don't accept that!"

"You have to. Buffy, what your father said-"

"Was all a lie! Almost everything he's ever told me was a lie and his little speech earlier was no exception. Can you honestly tell me that you believe anything he said?"

It was at that moment that Angel's emotions began to waver out of control. He chokes down the sob that was threatening to escape, shutting his eyes tightly without answering her.

"Well?" Buffy asks, her tone sharp, teetering between anger and frustration. Angel finally looks up at her. "You don't deserve this."

"You're right- I don't deserve to constantly be told by just about everyone, including the man that I love more than life itself, what's good for me! I don't understand how you can even act like this-"

"Because I'm scared!" he cries angrily, Buffy seeing the tears in the corners of his eyes. "Because I can't control myself around you, and I still wonder if I hadn't been sick whether I still would've eventually drank from you!"

"Angel- you've never hurt me. It's impossible for you to hurt me-"

"You don't know that! I mean- just because I'm human now...god...sometimes it's so hard to be around you because it's just too intense, and..." He stops there, not sure of what he saw in her face. He wasn't sure he wanted to know- but it wiped away any anger he was feeling. A stricken look replaces it. "I was always afraid when we were together. Afraid that...that the demon would take over- just like it did last night."

Buffy takes her seat back beside him, touching her hand lightly to his shoulder, relieved when he leans slightly into her touch. "I know you. I know and love every part of you. Even if the prophecy wouldn't have made you human, I would've let you drain me to save your life."

"But that doesn't change the fact that I-"

"That doesn't change the fact that I knocked you out to *force* you to live...for me. Angel...if you would've died last night, I wouldn't have been able to live. This bond between us...I feel everything that you do. The same fears, the same pain, the same intensity when you and I are together. And when we're apart...it just hurts so much. It's physically painful...and regardless of anything else...the only thing in my entire life that I'll ever be certain of is us. That's the only truth I have to hold onto."

His resolve broken, his uncertainties beginning to fade, he feels himself relax in her arms as the slayer pulls him to her tightly. "I love you..." he whispers against her temple.

"I love you," she locks eyes with him. "Nothing can ever change that," she whispers, reaching up to kiss him, deeply and lingeringly. As the kiss escalates, Angel feels Buffy's arms give his own a slight tug, as she pulls him back down onto the bed on top of her. Reaching a hand up behind his head, Buffy breaks their kiss, arching her neck slightly to give him access to her neck. He buries his nose against the curve of her throat, his mouth traveling along her skin until he feels his lips brush over her scar. He flinches away suddenly, his momentary solace quickly fading.

"Angel..." Buffy tries pulling him to her again, but finds her efforts being interrupted by the doorbell's chime floating up the stairs. "Uggh...never fails..."

"I'll get it-"

"Oh no you don't." She crawls out of bed, pushing him back to lay down. "You're staying right here- we're not done discussing this yet."

Muttering to herself, wondering who could've been paying them a visit so damn early, the slayer soon finds the answer to be one she wasn't ready to, nor wanted to deal with.

"Well...if it's not one backstabber, it's another," she observes as she pulls back the door fully to reveal Cordelia, Willow, Oz, and a returning Giles staring at her with hopeful gazes.

"We didn't wake you...did we?" Willow meekly speaks up, her eyes trailing over Buffy's shoulder to catch a glimpse of the inside.

"No- but you just started my day out on a sour note," Buffy snaps back, anxious to return upstairs. "If you don't mind, we've got a busy day, and I don't need this right now-"

"But we do," Giles speaks up for the three, stepping past them to approach his former slayer. "You wouldn't talk to me last night, so I'm asking you now- give us ten minutes. That's all we ask."

Sensing there was no other way to get them to leave, Buffy steps aside, letting them into the mansion. She makes a motion for them to have a seat on the sofa, taking her own spot on the armchair across from them. "Where's Judas number five?" she asks, her question mostly directed to Cordelia. "Out having drinks with my father- plotting how to get rid of Angel?"

"I wouldn't know," the brunette answers her back calmly. "I broke up with him last night."

"Is this the part where I'm supposed to instantly forgive you because you've dumped the guy who attacked my boyfriend in the hospital?"

"No..." Cordy shakes her head softly, then looks up directly at Buffy. "This is the part where you start to realize how sorry we all are and just how much we care about you. The both of you," she lifts her eyes to the stairway, wondering to herself how Angel was fairing.

"How is Angel?" Oz breaks his semi-permanent silence, slinging an arm around Willow's shoulders.

"Getting better." Buffy looks over to the antique clock standing against the wall. "You're down to eight minutes."

"I don't think we need to tell you just how sorry we are about not telling you sooner about Angel," Giles says.

"No- cause that would've made sense, and god forbid any of you ever decide to use your common sense," a still brassed-off Buffy responds.

"We understand how serious the matter was-" Giles tries again, only further infuriating the young girl whom he respected more than anyone...the one he'd looked upon as his own daughter.

"You understand nothing. Angel could've died! Do you understand that?! It's bad enough that my own father could be so cruel, but for all of you to have done something like this..." Her emotions betray her as her voice drops to a whisper. "I never would've expected that from any of you. Not from people who are supposed to be my friends."

"That's our point," Cordy chimes in. "It's because we *are* your friends, and we care so much about you that we did what we did."

"You call what Xander did being a friend? Attacking Angel? Trying to tell my father about everything?"

"No- what Xander did was be Xander," the brunette answers.

"In other words," Oz adds, "what he does best. The only thing he knows how to do without screwing it up."

"What we did- or rather, what we tried to do, was keep you from getting more upset than was necessary," says Giles. "The last thing any of us would ever want to do is hurt you, Buffy." He leans forward, trying to get her to realize the detail she seemed to be overlooking. "You have to know that- you have to know how much you mean to all of us. How much love and respect we have for you."

"Buffy," Willow's voice grabs her attention, "we did what we thought was right. We didn't want to upset you- we only wanted to protect you. Do what was best for you."

"No one bothered to ask me what was best for me."

"And we can't apologize enough for it," Willow responds. "All we can do is plead temporary insanity and hope we can find a way to put this behind us."

Buffy hesitates, mulling over all that had been said, before giving them any indication of a response. As she stares off towards the doors, Willow senses her doubts and raises her head, her voice on the verge of breaking as she makes a final plea. "I don't wanna lose my best friend because of my own stupidity and carelessness. You're my family, Buffy. All of us...we're each other's family..."

In all the time they'd been friends, Buffy had never heard Willow speak so fervently and with such desperation. Leaning forward in her chair, the delicate features of her face hovering between mixed emotions, Buffy can't help but let her thoughts drift back to yesterday afternoon, the words of Willow's speech playing over in her mind. < One thing that I am sure of is what matters most to me in my life...my friends.> For a moment, she wonders whether Willow had written the speech as a deliberate pre-apology to her.

After all that had passed, all that she knew laid ahead for them, it wasn't worth losing the rest of her family over. Though Xander had all but officially been driven out of her heart, she couldn't deny the sense of peace and trust slowly melting away any remnants of anger and resentment that had been built up in her since yesterday afternoon. < Make it a goal to discover what really matters in life.> And at that moment, what mattered most to her was the family inside the mansion.

A lopsided smile sneaks out from the corners of Buffy's mouth before she finally gives a response. "Only *temporary* insanity?" Releasing the breath she'd been holding since arriving on Crawford Street, Willow rushes over to her, diving on the slayer with a huge hug. "I'm sorry."

"I know, Will," Buffy says, giving her an extra squeeze. Looking over the redhead's shoulder, she smiles at the others. "You three plan on joining us here anytime soon?"

******

Part 15

Buffy had been looking through her magazine- not reading it but thumbing idly through it, glancing every now and then at a picture while she waited for Willow and Cordelia to meet her at the Espresso Pump a week later. After looking up every so often, she finally spots the redhead jogging over to her, a huge smile plastered across her face.

"Sorry I'm late," she grins, taking her seat across from her. "I had to help Oz, uh...find his...guitar pick," she gives her best friend a playful smile, wondering whether the rest of the Dingos would be upset seeing her boyfriend stoll into band practice fifteen minutes late.

"Uh-huh...and I'm guessing it was a very thorough search," the slayer giggles back over to her, setting her magazine off to the side. "Where's Cordy?"

"Oh...she didn't feel up to coming."

"She's okay, isn't she?"

"Aside from the whole 'breaking up with Xander thing', she's fine. It's funny- I never thought she cared so much about him." Willow notices that Buffy wasn't paying much attention to her after hearing Xander's name pop up and she passes her a lopsided grin. "Has...has Xander...called you?"

Seeing her simply roll her eyes, Willow decides to quickly change subjects to one she was sure Buffy would enjoy. "Didn't you bring Angel with you? I mean, seeing as how he's got the whole 'walking in the sunlight' thingy going on, I would've thought I'd be seeing you two dancing through the streets by now."

"He's home...working out. I think he said Giles would be coming over to help him train."

"Didn't you guys all train together last night?"

"And the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that. It's ridiculous, Will! That's all he does. He wouldn't even come over to mom's for any of the ten times she's invited us over for a meal. In the five days he's been human, he's spent exactly one hour outside in the sun- and even that was spent swimming."

"Oh- that reminds me...you've definitely gotta throw a pool party." Willow succeeds in gaining a small grin from her friend, but still senses something else wrong. "I don't get it- why doesn't Angel want to go out?"

"Well I'd ask him, for the *millionth* time, but all I get for an answer is 'I'm fine'. Either 'I'm fine' or 'I'm adjusting'. That's about all he says to me anymore."

There was no question in Buffy's mind that Angel hadn't been the same since graduation night. Whenever she'd try to get him to finish their discussion, he'd become distant, shutting himself down to the point where he'd barely mutter five words to her in a single day. He hadn't become cold or mean, just distant. He was less interested in going out, in seeing people, or the sunlight he'd been banished from for so long. He'd brushed off Joyce's invites to dinner and even declined both her offer to work at the gallery and Giles' offer to train him as a Watcher.

There was no big personality change in him...but he wasn't the same. He'd go to bed only after Buffy would, and would always sneak away downstairs once he'd been sure she was asleep. WIthout his knowing, Buffy had snuck down after him most times, only to find him sitting on the floor beside the fireplace, reaching a hand in, allowing his fingers to trail over the dancing flames for a moment or two.

"Okay- I'm confused...I thought you had talked him out of feeling any guilt? Are you two fighting?"

"No...I don't know..." Buffy lets out a deep sigh. Leaning her head off to the side, brushing her forehead with her hand, she makes a final confession to her best friend. "He won't touch me..."

Buffy looks up to see Willow staring at her with a baffled look. After a long silence, the wiccan finally barks a bewildered little laugh at the very notion. "You know, making jokes isn't going to make this easier to discuss," she smiles, looking at her steadily until finally realizing the slayer was serious. "Oh...you're not...joking, are you? I'm sorry Buffy- it's just...you two can't go like, a minute without some sort of touching involved."

"I think he's touched Giles more during their sparring lessons than he's touched me all week. Sometimes...sometimes I'll catch him looking at me, and I'll think for a minute that he looks like he's going to come over to me, but then he just turns away."

"Have you thought about asking Giles to talk to him? Maybe he'd open up to someone else. Hey- him and Oz are pretty close. I could tell him to stop by the mansion after practice if you want."

"Giles tries talking to him everyday when they train, but he just blows him off too. God...I could just fatally maim my dad and Xander for what they did!"

"You think that's what's got him?"

"Among his own esteem problems, yeah. I mean, him and Xander were actually pretty good friends. I think to see him react the way he did really threw him off. And my dad...what he told him about him being a danger to me didn't help much. I think I'm ready to take up my mom's offer to put a hit out on him. Did you know it only costs $400?" In an instant, Buffy sees Willow pass her a raised eyebrow, unable to contain her gasp. "What?? Mom knows some guys, that's all!"

"Well...aside from hiring your own private mafia, why don't we try cheering Angel up in the traditional way. Maybe perk up Cordy too. Bronze it tonight?"

"If I can get him to go," Buffy shrugs.

"If you can't convince him, we'll just all have to drag him out," the redhead smiles. "I can be pretty big and mean when I wanna be...until someone bigger and meaner comes along and tells me to stop."

******

Your construction
Smells of corruption
I manipulate to recreate
This air to ground saga
Gotta launder my karma

With the jagged dance music blaring throughout the Bronze, Angel was beginning to regret finally giving into Buffy's pleas and pouts to party with the others tonight. "It's loud..." he casually remarks, falling behind in his pace alongside her.

"You'll live, trust me," she laughs, grabbing his reluctant hand, pulling him to her side. "It'll do you good to finally get out."

"Mmm..."

"And..." she pulls him to a stop among the crowd to face him, "maybe tomorrow morning...we can go out for breakfast?"

"Don't you like to sleep in on weekends?" he responds, going to sit down at what he recognized as the Scoobs' usual table.

"Okay then- lunch?" Seeing that he was now ignoring her, paying more attention to the lights beaming down from the ceiling than to her, Buffy can only roll her eyes, not wanting to make things worse by pushing him. Taking her own seat beside him, she catches a glimpse of the others approaching with drinks.

"Angel- you came!" Willow cheers, giving him a friendly pat on the back.

"Hi Willow..." He throws a half-smile to his silent counterpart Oz before moving his own chair over to make room for them.

"Where's Cordelia?" Buffy asks.

"She's here...she just went to the bathroom," Willow replies.

"Meaning we won't see her for a good hour," Oz adds, hoping to share his usual chuckle with Angel, but is surprised to barely receive any response.

I'm blown to the maxim
Two hemispheres battlin'
I'm blown to the maxim
Two hemispheres battlin'
Suckin' up, one last breath
Take a drag off of death

"Oh...my...god..."

The four friends turn in their seats at Cordelia's startled gasp, watching with confused stares as she hurries over to their table, stumbling to her seat. "I can't believe I wasted two years on that worthless...no good...I mean- who does he think he is?!"

"I assume you're talking about Xander?" Willow speaks up for the group.

"Who else?! You won't believe who that scumsucker brought here tonight!" Stretching out an arm to point past them towards the dancefloor, the hurt brunette draws their attention to the sight of Xander with his arms all over another familiar brunette.

"Anya!" Buffy almost shouts, though it was barely a hushed cry over the music and crowd.

Got a revolution behind my eyes
We got to get up and organize
Got a revolution behind my eyes
We got to get up and organize
Got a revolution behind my eyes
We got to get up and organize
You want a revolution behind your eyes
We got to get up and organize

"A demon!" Cordelia turns back around in her seat, resting her elbows on the table. "He's got his awkward paws all over some demon!!"

"Actually, *ex*-demon," Oz corrects her.

"Whatever! But after everything she did, to *all* of us, he's got the nerve to be going out with her?!"

"What do you expect?" Buffy replies. "The obnoxious attract the obnoxious."

"Oh- it is *sooo* over now! For a minute, I was considering thinking about possibly letting him apologize to me...and everyone else, and I just might've taken him back on his hands and knees, but now- oh...I'm just beside myself." She hastily tosses her purse onto the table, not really caring at the moment if it got scratched, and takes a long, deep breath over the new song that comes on over the speakers.

Now can I make this crystal clear
There's still a world without you here
How can I make this crystal clear?

Now can I make this crystal clear
There's still a world without you here
How can I make this crystal clear?

"If I was a member of his family, I'd need a drink right about now!"

"How about a Coke instead?" Willow offers her.

Trying to take her mind off of the still-sore subject of Xander Harris, Buffy turns her attentions to her strangely quiet boyfriend. His eyes were combing over the catwalk above when normally they would've been combing over her. Reaching over with a tentative hand, her fingers curl around his wrist as she offers him a warm smile. "You wanna dance?"

"I'm fine..." he whispers back, seeing her face drop even further at his dismissal.

"Funny..." comes a familiar voice from behind, "...I didn't even know vampires *could* dance."

Buffy watches with an annoyed glare as Xander makes his way around to face the group. "You lost, Harris?"

I'm giving you the gift of a second chance
So use it for the first time wisely done
Your way out of the war of words that's raging
All around the globe in conversation
I'm giving the gift of the double bluff
Forever laying lowly high enough
I'm tired of treading cautiously
I'll walk the path prepared for me

"No...just thought I'd check up on how Deadboy here was enoying life," he grins, leaning over to whisper into Angel's ear. "How're ya holding up, big guy?"

"Unless you plan on coughing up some apologies, you can just get out of here, you little spaz!" Cordelia snaps back.

"Believe me- if any of you are waiting for an apology, you've got another thing comin'. See, that's the other reason I wanted to come over...to resign."

"Resign?" Oz speaks up.

"I'm done. I'm through being everyone's whipping boy. I mean, come on- that's all I ever really was to any of you...the comic relief of the gang. Buffy's the strong one, along with her little boy-toy over there," he tosses a sideways glance to Angel. "Willow's the smart one, Oz is Mr. Philosophical, and Cordelia...well, I haven't quite figured out what position you fill besides all-around bitch, but when I do, I'll be sure to fill you in on it."

Surprising herself, as well as the other Scoobs, Buffy pulls Xander's arm behind his back, slamming him up against a nearby pillar. "Why don't you head on back to your demon plaything before I decide to fill you in on exactly what a slayer can do to someone who pisses her off in everyway possible?"

"No need for the hostility, Buff." Xander, relieved when she releases him, passes them all a wicked grin before turning back to find Anya. "We're still on the same side...I'm just more aware of things than any of you will ever be."

I'll be giving the gift of great confusion
So make of it what you will it's yours to use
Come show me where my footsteps ought to tread
And fill me with the wise words that you said
I'll be giving the gift of the double bluff
So do whatever you want to do 'til you've done enough
The words you worship died upon
The pages that you wrote them on

"Okay- who thinks he's just replaced Angel as Cryptic Guy?" Cordelia finally speaks up, in utter shock of Xander's display. "What the hell was that all about? 'We're still on the same side' ?"

Looking on from his own table, Xander becomes so caught up in observing their reactions that he almost doesn't hear his newly acquired beeper go off. Looking down at the number that pops up on the screen, he mutters something to Anya before grabbing his jacket, dashing off out the back door.

******

Part 16

Why can't you see
That everything's broken?
Why does it seem
This life's turned gray?
I can't believe
In anything sacred
When I don't believe
That I am real

Buffy sighs heavily as a sudden rush of emotions fills her head, keeping her from peaceful sleep. She remembers how hectic the whole day has been- the encounter with Xander being the latest addition to her seemingly never-ending list of problems. She groans and rolls over to look at the time as the red digits on the alarm clock reflect off the dresser- 2:37 AM; too late for her to just be getting to sleep. Beginning to stir in bed, she reaches over to grab Angel but finds an empty space where he should've been laying. "Angel," she calls softly into the darkness. After about six times, she notices that their door is cracked open. Having a pretty good idea where she would find him, she crawls out of bed, making her way downstairs cautiosly.

I need someone to
Break the silence
That's screaming in my head...
...and in my soul

Broken fragments of moonlight dancing across the walls gave life to the otherwise empty great hall. Surprised to find that Angel hadn't retreated downstairs as he'd been doing for the past week, Buffy begins her search through the rest of the mansion. After her last check in their training room, she realizes her lover had made a stealth departure into the night without even bothering to tell her. Instinctively, she grabs the phone, carrying the cordless with her to call Giles. But before her fingers can finish dialing the familiar number, her ears pick up on the sound of the front door opening.

"Angel..." she calls out to him as she runs over to him, launching herself into his arms. By now used to his less than enthusiastic responses to her lately, she pulls away from him. Slowly, her eyes travel down the front of his jacket and gray sweater, seeing that the streaks of blood that had stained the material were now smeared across her own tank top.

"Where were you? What happened?"

"Patrolling..." he mumbles, trying to move past her but finds himself being held back.

"We already patrolled tonight. Why did you have to go out again...by yourself?"

"I couldn't sleep," he tiredly sighs, finally succeeding in getting past her. He sheds his jacket, tossing it over the back of the sofa as he takes a seat, holding his head in his hands. Trying to push her anger aside for the moment, more concerned about whether or not he had been injured, Buffy sits down beside him. "Are you hurt?"

I am alone
Locked in my memories
There's nowhere left
For me to hide
But I am not real
I've made all I am with lies

Shaking his head softly, he turns to face her. "Aren't you going back to bed?" Inching over closer to him, she snakes her arm around his waist, trying to feel for any wounds. Assuring herself that he's okay, she rests her head against his shoulder. "I'll wait for you."

"I have to get cleaned up..." he responds, moving out of their embrace to stand.

"Why don't you let me help?" she manages a faint smile, hoping he'd accept her offer.

"Just go to bed, Buffy."

Blinking back tears, the slayer watches as Angel turns his back to her, grabbing his jacket, walking over to hang it up by the front door. "Can't you talk to me?" Buffy finally cries angrily at him. She sees him immediately tense up at her question, turning back around to cross the room to approach her. "Angel..." Seeing the look in his eyes as he lifts his head to face her was only making this harder for her. With a nervous hand, she begins twirling the claddagh ring that rested on her finger before mustering the strength to speak again. "Do you still want me?"

Why can't you see
My need for forgiveness?
The truth and the lies
Confused as one
I can't believe
In anything sacred
When I don't believe
In anything

As Angel watches her, he can feel the hurt and fear radiating from her eyes. Despite his best efforts, he can't bring himself to tell her the truth- to tell her how desperately he wanted her, how much he adored her but no longer believed he should be allowed to do so. He'd never meant to let Buffy conjure up such a ridiculous idea as the one she had just presented to him, but he was still finding it hard to react in any other way since drinking from her.

"You asked me to..." Buffy voice waivers, seeing him at a loss as to how to respond to her. "You asked me to move in, but...but now you don't...you don't seem like you even want me here."

"You know you're welcome to stay here if you want, Buffy."

"I don't want to live here because *I* want to...I want to live here because *you* want me to- because *you* want me here."

Seeing him make no move to respond to her in any way, Buffy sits up on the sofa, folding her legs underneath her as she tries once more. "Please..." she whispers, tasting a bit of the tear that had fallen to the corner of her mouth.

"I have to take a shower..." Unable to face her for a second longer, Angel retreats upstairs leaving Buffy cringing as far into the cushions of the sofa as they would allow, her bright eyes gleamed over with tears.

I need someone to
Break the silence
That's screaming in my head...
...and in my soul

******

"Oh Buffy..." Willow lets out a deep sigh as she listens to her best friend confiding to her over the phone the next morning. "He wouldn't answer you?"

"No...h- he barely even looked at me." She pauses for a moment, listening to the punches and kicks coming from the training room down the hall. She'd suspected that Angel had been in there since late last night. "Will...maybe now that he's human...maybe he doesn't want me anymore. I mean, maybe he figures that now he can have someone normal instead of having to deal with me-"

"Buffy, stop. That's crazy," Willow tries comforting her, though not too sure herself of how to explain Angel's behavior. "That's impossible. Angel would never do that. You're the only thing in the world to him."

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you
It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

"Sometimes I wonder, Will. He won't even talk to me-"

"So make him. If you can't reach him one way, find another. Be more forceful- you can do that. You're really good at that," she smiles into the phone.

"But-"

"Nope- that's it," Willow silences her. "The next time I talk to you I wanna hear a full, glowing report about how you and Angel spent the entire day in bed making up. Except, you know, you don't have to go into all the lusty details."

"Thanks Willow," Buffy smiles, unable to hold back a small chuckle as she hangs up the phone.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Shaking his head trying to remove the sweat from his brow, Angel runs his hand through his hair roughly, ignoring the twinges of pain as his muscles stretch, overexerted from his strenuous training. He throws a few punches and kicks, trying to work out the knotted muscles. Closing his eyes, he lets his body flow through the routine, just letting his mind sit and look for flaws in his movements. Finding none, he opens his eyes during the final killing move, then quickly retracts the punch as he sees someone's face fill the air that should have been empty. Wincing as the tightly leashed energy in his muscles protest, he glares at the young woman in front of him. "Buffy! What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

Stepping aside, the slayer ties her hair back into a ponytail, moving towards him again once she readies herself. "Okay- let's go."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, tough guy. If you're so into training, let's train." Not giving him a chance to respond, she throws the first punch, connecting with his jaw.

"Buffy!" Angel steps away from her, shocked by what she was doing. "What is this?!"

"Come on-" she delivers a kick to the side of his stomach, "my grandmother fights better than this! Hell- I think Xander fights better than this!"

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

After a minute's hesitation, still with no clue as to what was really happening between them, Angel twists around and lands a high kick to Buffy's back, knocking her to the ground. He barely has time to gasp at what he'd just done before the small blonde flips herself back to her feet, spinning around landing a sharp right cross to Angel's eye.

With a series of punches to him, seeing that he was barely fighting her back, Buffy gains a bit more confidence in her method. Angel's breathing was coming in ragged gasps, but he keeps trying to do what was expected of him, determination etched hard on his face. He was about to raise his leg to deliver another kick to her when Buffy sees an opening in his defenses and uses it, knocking his feet out from under him and throwing him down to the mat.

An awkward silence follows as Buffy scrambles on top of him, straddling his waist, keeping him pinned to the ground. He begins to struggle underneath her but finds himself unable to escape her. "Why are you doing this?!" he demands.

"Because this is the only way you'll talk to me!" she responds, receiving a confused glare from him. "This is the only way you'll even touch me!"

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you
I remember when I moved in you
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Regaining some of his strength, Angel manages to push her off of him, crawling backwards on his hands, reaching out behind him until he can feel the wall to brace himself against.

"After what I did?!"

"Uggh! When are you going to realize how much I love you, Angel? When are you going to be able to understand that I'd die for you in an instant?!"

"How am I supposed to even come near you!" he shouts back to her, now beginning to finally release his own frustrations. "Why do you think I've been keeping myself busy doing all of this?! To keep myself from you!"

"Why?!" Buffy cries back, still sitting on the mats herself across from him. "Why are you even letting this get to you?!"

"It's not just what I did to you, Buffy-"

"Angel, you didn't do anything!"

"And what about before- what about that? All those years...all the lives I took. And now that I've been given all of this- thanks to feeding from you," he says, disgusted by his own actions, "I don't know what to do with it because I don't deserve this! I don't deserve to be human again..." His voice lowers to a faint whisper as he averts his eyes to the floor. "...I don't deserve to have you..."

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

In an instant, Buffy's at his side, cradling him in her arms, relieved to find him seeking comfort from her instead of pulling away. "I'm sorry..." Angel pleads with her, reaching his arms around her, tugging her close. Buffy rocks his limp form, whispering to him, to herself, for a few minutes before pulling him fully into her grasp and standing with him.

"It's okay..." she begins whispering into his ear. "It's alright...Angel- Angel, look at me." She pulls back, lifting his head up to fully face her. "You deserve so much more than all of this. I've never known anyone with such an amazing soul. You are the one absolute thing in my life- the one thing I will never give up for anything. I can't...I don't understand anything else but loving you..."

Angel steps forward, tenderly taking her into his embrace, running his thumb along her jaw. "I love you," he says as he brushes Buffy's hair behind her ear. "I love you so much."

"I love you," Buffy gently whispers with a seductive smile, pulling him closer to her as she draws him in for a passionate kiss.

******

Part 17

Buffy curls herself further into Angel's embrace, running a hand through his hair as she slowly pulls him down ontop of her. She loved the feeling of his body and it's almost-crushing weight on top of her. It seemed to give solidity to the moment. Angel cradles the sides of her face in his hands, his face directly above hers, just looking at her as if he would never see his fill. He slowly lowers his head to hers, and softly feathers light kisses across her face. On her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her forehead, her flushed cheeks, her chin, and finally, he captures her sigh in his own mouth.

Buffy couldn't imagine ever feeling this sense of overwhelming love with anyone else. She couldn't imagine living the rest of her life with anyone other than this one man who had come into her life, first to protect her, then to love her- utterly and completely. He feels her body tremble beneath his, and he pulls back and just holds her for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm..." comes her only reply, slowly opening her eyes to greet him.

"I'm too heavy," he chuckles, going to move out of their embrace but finds her arms pulling him back to her.

"Uh-uh..." Her hand slides up and down his back slowly as she stares up into his eyes, her heart beating so hard in her chest she was sure he could feel it. She reaches over, lacing her fingers with his, bringing their interlocked hands to rest between between them against their hearts, beating in unison underneath their palms. "That feels so good," she smiles up at him.

"It's pretty amazing." Lowering his head to her, he buries his nose against her neck, taking in the intoxicating scent of her soft skin before reaching her lips again. After a few timely moments, he slowly breaks the kiss, pulling away from her, drawing an instant moan of disapproval from her lips. "Apples..."

"Huh?" she stifles a yawn, sitting up with a confused look.

"Do we have any apples?" He slides off to the side of her, running a hand through his hair as he grabs his sweatpants.

"Yeah...I think..." Buffy crawls over to him, wrapping an arm around his waist as she rests her head against his back. "Though I would've thought you'd prefer some double chocolate cookie dough mint ice cream in bed."

"I just realized..." he hops out from underneath the covers, sliding on his pants before heading for the door, "...I'm starving."

Feeling a bit ignored, though too happy and tired to give it a second thought, Buffy pulls on one of Angel's shirts, quickly following him downstairs to the kitchen. "Well- considering the fact that you kinda have to eat now, I'd say that you barely eating anything for the past week might have something to do with that. Plus, the fact that it's almost six and we've spent the majority of our day making up for lost time probably hasn't helped your stomach much." She hops up onto the counter, watching as he pulls open the fridge door. "But why apples?"

"I don't know..." he smiles, offering her the shiny red fruit he'd just taken a bite out of. "I've always loved apples...ever since I was a kid...I used to pick them with my mother..." Buffy sees his face start to show signs of shifting into brood-mode and she reaches over, tugging him by the shoulder into a deep kiss.

As their kissing continues, they're soon interrupted by the sharp ringing of the phone. "It never fails," Buffy complains, leaning over on the counter to answer it. "I swear, one week we're disconnecting this thing. Hello?"

"Hi sweetheart."

"Mom- hi!" Angel smiles to himself as he sees Buffy's face light up at the sound of Joyce's voice. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to see how things were going. I'm guessing pretty well?" she smiles to herself, happy to hear her daughter in a much better mood from the last time they'd talked.

"Mmm...wonderful...couldn't be better, mom."

"Well, if you two haven't eaten yet, maybe you'd like to come by for dinner? Then you can fill me in on just how *wonderful* things are."

"Dinner? Great...we haven't eaten yet," she throws a glance to Angel, giggling softly as he places a kiss to her forehead. "We'll be around in a little bit."

"Oh- why don't you invite the others? It'd be nice to spend some time with you kids before you all go running off to college."

"Right mom- like we're all so anxious to start classes in the fall. In fact, Willow's already camping outside the front of UC Sunnydale. Actually, in her case, that may actually be true."

"Well we'll ask her tonight. I'll see you guys in a little bit, hmm?"

"Great. Bye mom." Setting the phone back down, she turns to look for Angel, finding him rummaging through the cabinets, pulling out a jar of chunky peanut butter. "Angel- mom just invited us to dinner, so stop scarfing down everything in sight."

"I'm starving," he pleads, reaching over to grab a few chocolate bars. Buffy can't supress a laugh at the sight of him and scoots over to join him. "Uggh...well at least share with me!"

******

"Psychology?" Buffy passes her best friend an incredulous look from across the dining room table. "What makes you think I'd be any good at that?"

"Well...you're good at reading people," Willow smiles. "I think you'd really get interested in it."

"But they do all those weird experiments- depriving people of sleep, and injecting them with a bunch of drugs, and electroshock therapy, and...wait- remind me again why I'm against this?"

Joyce wraps an arm around her daughter, pulling her into a small hug. "I'm sure whatever you decide to go into you'll be great at. You all will," she beams towards the rest of them. "Do any of you have any idea what you'd like to study yet?"

"I for one am going into the arts," Cordelia proudly declares.

"What a surprise," Willow mumbles, sharing a small laugh with Oz.

"You wait- when I'm rich and famous and finally able to break away from all of the stress of living on a hellmouth, I'll be making acceptance speeches for my numerous awards *without* mentioning any of your names."

"We should be so lucky..." Oz muses in typical fashion. "I'll stick with the old standby known as history. I'm hoping it'll give a nice balance to all of Will's forays into science."

"Speaking of which," Buffy jumps in, "have you decided between chemistry and biology yet?"

"I'm still not sure," the redhead pouts. "I'll probably wind up double majoring. Ooo- but I wanted to do something with medieval literature too-"

"Oh please- you'll probably wind up majoring in everything!" Cordy snaps. "God- don't you ever get tired of being an overachiever and making all of us look like a bunch of lazy toads?"

"Speak for yourself, toadie," Buffy laughs back at Queen C. "Ya know, maybe I'll give psych a go. What do you think?" she turns to her left, seeking Angel's assured support.

"I think you'd be great at it," he leans over to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"So Angel," Joyce draws his attention, "now that you're...human..." the joyous mother still has trouble believing the wonderful miracle that had been brought forth, "...what do you plan on doing? Taking classes with everyone else?"

"I can't see that happening, Joyce," he smiles over to her. "I'm not really sure. I can still fight and slay with Buffy, but other than that...I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

"You know...my offer's still open to come work at the gallery. We could really use you."

"Thanks, Joyce," Angel passes her his trademark half-smile. "I really appreciate that. It's not money that I'm worried about...I just won't know what to do during the day while Buffy's in classes."

"So you came into some money from your family?" Joyce guesses at his last remark, hoping she wouldn't offend him.

"Not quite...the years I spent...throughout Europe...I...attainted a lot of finances from...people..."

Hearing his somber tone at thoughts of the years his now-vanquished demon had spent killing and plundering, Cordy takes it upon herself to lighten everyone's mood. "So you're rich? Well this is just my luck, and irony in the worst way. The week after I become single *you* become human and to top it all off, you're rolling in cash. But of course, I'll never get the chance to enjoy either one of these things because little miss slayer over there already has you wrapped around her finger."

Queen C throws a glance across her plate to the small blonde whose head was resting peacefully against Angel's shoulder. "You so totally suck!"

******

You are free to change your mind
Any place or time
You are free to change your mind
Any place or time

The night was charged with electricity. As thunder begins to roll, lightning flashes across the sky, throwing streaks of energy into the atmosphere. Before midnight, the heavens finally open up to pour upon the city. The rain falls hard and cold, and late-night revelers run for cover from the pounding, stinging drops.

Along the sidewalk of Revello Drive, however, a solitary figure stands silent and still. Rain beads off of the hooded jacket covering his camouflaged gear, puddling beneath him. After observing the sight before him for awhile, somewhat sickened by the sight he'd seen inside the cheerful house, the figure makes his departure, headed back down along the street, already pulling out his cell phone to let headquarters know he would be in shortly.

Burning down the riverbank
Deliver us deliverance
Deliberation of the people
Is irrelevance
The liberation of the mind and the body comes first
For a change in the politic of politics

From across the street, another figure stands, making his own careful observations of both the inhabitants of the house, as well as the figure who'd just made his own stealth departure. Watching the figure fully disappear down the street, the new stranger makes a slow approach to the Summers' home. Peering in a bit through the window, though staying out of clear sight, he watches as Angel reaches over, stealing a kiss from a more than willing Buffy. "That's him?" the dark-haired stranger asks aloud, a heavy Irish accent and more than a hint of alcohol lacing his words. "That's who Whistler wants me to help? This oughta be fun..."

Several miles away, in a secluded sub-basement laboratory, a middle-aged woman looks up from her desk when an associate gently knocks at the door. "Come in."

Graham Miller enters the room and, seeing beads of sweat flowing down her forehead as she continues toiling on an awkward-looking piece of machinery before her, he makes his apologies for the interruption. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you told me to let you know when-"

"He's back?" she looks up fully, a hopeful glint in her eye.

"Yes ma'am."

Enough for one, enough for two
Enough already son
I've come to tell you that
The future is undone

Quickly following after Graham, the woman makes her way out to the foyer to greet her returning squad leader. "Agent Finn...welcome back."

A not-so-alluring 21 year old, with dirty-blonde hair dangling in awkward pieces over his forehead, Riley Finn shrugs off his gear as he moves to stand before Maggie Walsh. "It's good to be back after two weeks."

"Job well done, Riley," Walsh congratulates her prized member of the Initiative. "Have they all been recovered?"

"All present and accounted for. Ready for demobilizing and rehabilitation."

"Excellent." Walsh makes a motion of her hand towards Graham. "Get a team on this right away. Oh- and now that Agent Finn's back, I want him to meet-"

"I know, ma'am. He's been waiting here for the past hour. I'll bring him over."

You are free to change your mind
Any place or time
You are free to change your mind
Any place or time

Riley follows Walsh into her office, intrigued by his mentor's mention of his being introduced to someone. "Meet?"

"We've acquired a few new recruits while you were on assignment. One in particular has been quite impressive. Not since you first joined us have I seen a young man so eager. I've decided to place him in your squad, and...oh-" Walsh looks past Riley at the sound of her latest addition to the Initiative entering her room. "Here he is now. This is Agent Finn," she introduces her prodigy first, not masking the extreme pride in her voice.

"Glad to have you aboard," Riley extends his arm, grabbing his new squad member's hand in a firm grip. "Professor Walsh tells me you're going to be quite an asset to us...eager to help in the Initiative's fight against some of curses of humanity."

With a sly smile crossing his face, almost twisting his normally cheerful and upbeat features unrecognizable, Xander Harris offers his unyielding reply. "Oh...you wouldn't believe..."

Enough for one, enough for two
Enough already son
I've come to tell you that
The future is undone...

******

THE END!!!!

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