"Would you like something to drink? Ya know, maybe a final diet soda before I kill you!" Buffy was on the verge of a rant, and Cordy knew not to even bother trying to interrupt. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? What, you didn't think I was important enough to tell? It doesn't matter if I'm told that the man that I love more than life itself has lost his will to live??"
"Technically, Angel doesn't really live. To live, he'd have to be alive, and you and I both know tha-" Cordy glanced up to see a very pissed slayer. "Okay, I'm shutting up now."
"That's one of the smartest moves you've made since you got here." Buffy began pacing in her kitchen, glancing every so often into the living room to see if Angel had awoken yet. "Just because I'm not in his life on a daily basis doesn't mean that I shouldn't know about..." she trailed off, her emotions rushing throughout her.
"Buffy," Cordy began, hoping Buffy wouldn't interrupt her, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier, but I had good reason not to. I knew how you would react, and with everything happening, it didn't think it would be best for either of you right now." She walked over to her friend, placing an unsure hand on her shoulder. "I know how much you love him. And you're right, I should've told you. But- I just couldn't bring myself to do it- to cause you two any more pain." At Buffy's somewhat confused face, Cordelia explained.
"Buffy, I've seen what you and Angel have gone through. All the heartache, all the sacrifices. No matter how deeply you two have always and will always love each other, there always seems to be something trying to rip you two apart for good. I just didn't want to be one of the things inflicting any more pain on either one of you by bringing this up. I love you both too much."
"Cordy..." she was at a loss for words. "No matter how much pain is involved, no matter how much heartache, I need to know when something huge is happening in Angel's life. Angel...he is my life."
"I know that. But- Buffy you should've see him. On top of the roof of the hotel just before dawn. He even had a stake with him, just in case something somehow prevented sunrise again like the last time." Buffy gently nodded, remembering that Christmas morning that seemed so long ago.
"Why?" she asked through her tearing eyes. "Why did he get so bad? How?"
"Because of you. Buffy, since he arrived in LA, you were the one thing that kept him going, but you were also the one thing that dragged him down. You know, I I finally realized something after watching him when he gets in full brood mode so many times." As Cordy pauses for the words, Buffy can't help but notice the sincerity in her eyes. "You two are a part of each other, and no matter what anybody does, nothing's going to change that truth, and I've always believed that you shouldn't mess with something as strong as that, because it's a losing battle. Unfortuntely, Angel tried to mess with that when he left you for 'your own good' " she accented her final words with quotations in the air. "It's been hell for him Buffy. Especially after Thanksgi-" Cordy stopped herself, not knowing whether to press on.
"After what? Cordelia, tell me," she demanded. With a heavy sigh, Cordelia began to tell Buffy what she was told by Doyle about the day that wasn't. Everything about the Mohra demon, the Oracles, Angel's short-lived humanity. She didn't even skimp on the details of Buffy's and Angel's day together in bed- and on the kitchen table, despite the accompanying mental pictures which she was still trying to block out. She even told Buffy about her fears of being fired knowing that once he was human, he and Buffy would be able to have a life together, and she and Doyle would've gotten the boot. Then came the hardest part- telling her how Angel had given up his chance at humanity to save her life. When she had finally finished, Buffy sat in awe for a few moments before words came to her again.
"Ever since I came back from that first visit…I've had dreams about it. Falling asleep in his arms…kissing him in the sunlight…even the kitchen table rings a bell or two." She noticed the brunette flinch at the image. "I can't believe he gave up...oh god, Angel," a tear escaped her eye. "Why didn't he tell me any of this?"
"He wanted you to move on. He was the only one to keep the memories. I think that whole deal didn't help his depression level much."
"Move on?" she laughed. "Why can't he understand that I can't move on? I'm not supposed to move on. Out of the few dates I've had since he left, none of them even come close to him. No one ever will."
"I know. Buffy, like I said, I'm sorry. But I hope that you two take advantage of everything now that it's all been put pretty well into perspective."
"Thanks Cordelia." The two embraced in a warm hug until Gile's voice came streaming through the living room. "Buffy! Cordelia! Angel's waking up." The girls rushed into the living room, Buffy taking a seat next to him.
As Angel opens his eyes, he sees Buffy in the chair next to him feeling her hand in his. He gathers up enough strength to speak, "Buffy? What happened?" he asks as his voice begins to crack. Buffy grasps Angel's hand and leans over him to gently kiss his tender lips. "You'll be alright. Everybody's here...the Brood's all been dusted, and Ashlan is here."
"She's here?" He sits up on the couch, tossing the blanket covering him to the floor. He buries his head in his hands as he leans over to see Ash lying on Buffy's floor. "Are you okay, Buffy?" he asks her, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Yeah…" she whispers, taking his hands into her own. Their peaceful moment is broken as Buffy begins to hear movement from below her. The two separate as they watch Ash slowly push herself up off the floor, groaning in pain. When she finally remembers what happened and realizes where she is, she crawls back against the nearest wall, using it as a base to stand up completely. "Where- where are they?" she growls.
"Who?" Cordelia asks.
"Edge. Christian...where are they? Still at the mansion?"
"Well...technically they are. They may just be a step up from soot right now, but their ashes are still at the mansion," Xander answered her.
"They've been killed?" she asked, not wanting to believe it.
"Yeah...slow much?" Xander spoke again. "I'll tell you this much, Dead
Boy," he said, walking past Ashlan towards Angel, "you definitely got the
brains in your family." Ash slid down against the wall, dazed by what she
had just been told. "I believe the credit goes to our resident slayer...and of course,
everybody's favorite vampire," he added, nodding his head up at Angel.
Ashlan's eyes wandered around the spacious room, from person to person,
before she finally laid eyes on her brother and the slayer. "I'm stuck
here," she whispered.
"Come again?" Willow asked.
"I'm trapped…here. I can never go back now," she spoke up a bit louder.
"You," she pointed to Angel and Buffy. "The both of you..." she stood up,
holding her stomach as she walked directly over to Angel, who had now placed
Buffy behind him, shielding her from whatever he expected to unfold between
him and Ash. Ash peered fiercely into her brother's eyes, unable to hold
back her anger and frustrations any longer.
"Bastard!" she shouted, throwing a series of right punches at him, which
Angel easily blocked merely holding up his left arm. "It should've been
you!! It's your fault! If you hadn't killed them…" she began punching
harder, "...I'd be able to be sent back! If you had tried saving me...if
you'd never killed Alaana...I'd still be alive!" After a few more punches,
Ash finally tired and Angel grabbed her arm. "If I could have given my life
for yours, I would have," he told her. She was taking a few deep gulps of
breath to steady herself as Angel finally released his grip on her.
As the others looked on at the current situation, Angel waved an arm,
signaling them to just let things play out, but be on guard. Buffy made an
attempt to approach her, but ceased in her tracks when she felt Angel's arm
circle around her, holding her back. It was Tara who finally broke the
group's silence.
"Are you some kind of...of a ghost?" she timidly asked. Ash, turning
around, slowly walked up to Tara sitting on the couch with Willow and Dawn.
Moving close enough to her so that she was right in Tara's face, Ash simply
leaned over, switched into her game face, and growled "Boo." Tara flinched
back for a second, all the while, her eyes fixed on the young girl as her
face returned to normal and she walked over to stare out the window.
"I don't know what I am," Ashlan finally answered her earlier question.
"All I have left now are my memories...places I've seen...things I've
done...what I was...what I could've been," she turned to face Angel who she
saw approaching her, Buffy by his side, "...if it wasn't for my dear brother
here. Why didn't you do anything about it? Why didn't you stop them that
night? Why didn't you kill them right then and there. Then at least I
wouldn't be stuck here...between life and death." Angel stared at her, at a
loss for words. "Ash...I- I couldn't," he finally stammered out.
"Yet you could do it to me?" she almost laughed. "Snatch me from our poor
mother's womb after you drained her, like some monster in a fairy tale? And
now you weep!" she shouted, tears glistening in her eyes. "I haven't tears
enough for what you've done to me," she whimpered. "This isn't real." The
tears were now streaming down her face as she continued in disbelief. "None
of this is real. I don't know this world…everything's changed. I can't
think, I can't feel...I can't...do this...I can't exist like this." She
fell to her knees, pulling her head down to the floor.
The friends sat around, not really knowing what to say or do for her.
As he stood watching with his arm around Buffy, Angel thought back over the
things he'd done over the course of his life. And where, in that violent
time, it had gone. The lives he had affected. The pain and suffering he
instilled in so many. The only bright spot of his existence was the slayer
standing beside him. "Ashlan," he kneeled down to place a hand on her back,
"I want to show you something." He extended his hand to her, hoping she
would give him the chance to help her. "Please." She tentatively took his
hand as he pulled her up off the floor. He and Buffy stood by the open
front door, waiting for her to follow them.
"Wait," Cordelia spoke up, "Angel, it's almost sunrise. Where are you
taking her?"
"This isn't going to be long. It's close by. We'll be back in a little
while."
"Still, we're coming with you," said Gunn.
"Speak for yourselves," Spike grumbled. "I've had enough of the family-hour
to last me another few lifetimes. You guys are on your own...but, uh- I'll
be back tonight to check up on things. Ya know...who's alive and what have
ya." Spike left, rushing past Gunn as he grabbed his jacket and, along with
the others, headed for the door.
******
Part Eight
Caught out alone and I'm trying to be free
Caught up in things that are inside of me
Lookin for something that I cannot see
Losin my faith but I'm tryin to believe Feels like I'm caught in the ocean
There's always someone to help me drown
The twisted tangled emotions
There's always someone to help me drown "It's here." The group had reached the familiar hillside within minutes,
silent as they walked through the sleeping Sunnydale streets. Along the way
they had encountered only three lone vamps, which Buffy made short work of.
With each slaying, Ash looked on at the slayer in astonishment at such
strength for a young woman. In her years growing up, Angel had told her of
the slayers, how many he had killed himself, but she had never come across
one.
"What's here?" Ashlan asked her brother, highly annoyed at his insistence of
coming to the uninspiring hill.
"It's here that I gained a piece of humanity back."
"How wonderful for you," she sneered. "What's any of this have to do with
me?"
"It has everything to do with you. Ashlan…this isn't you. The blind rage
isn't you. You let it control you, but you have the chance to regain your
control.
"What can I say- being dead really takes a lot out of you." She walks
closer towards the edge of the hill, staring down at the houses below.
"Don't you understand? I can't feel anything!" she shouted, turning back
around to face him and the others. "And I can't understand for the life of
me why they even bothered bringing me back in the first place."
"I know the feeling." At Ash's confused look, he began telling her of a
time when he couldn't understand the reasoning behind an action. "When I
was brought back from Hell-"
"You were in Hell?? Well…no real surprise there." Her admission cut Angel
deep, but he quickly pushed it to the back of his mind. "I have been out of
the loop for awhile."
"When I was brought back, I wanted to know why. I couldn't understand why,
after finally being sent where I belonged, anyone or any power would want to
bring me back to this world. Ash, you can't understand or feel anything
because you won't let yourself. I know that you can't go back now, but now
that you're here, you have a chance to do something useful. You have a
chance to-"
"I don't want a chance to do anything! I didn't ask for a second chance!
All I want...all I want is to know peace."
"We're not in this life for peace, Ash," Buffy said.
"Oh, coming from the slayer- I'll take that to heart," Ash scoffed at her.
"I know what you went through being dead because I went through it too.
Twice, actually. I know what it's like- the peace...the end of the constant
struggle. Once you've known that, you long to be released from the pain of
living. Unless you have something worth living for," her last comment was
aimed at both Ash and Angel. "Family...friends...they make things more
bearable."
"And I suppose the lot of you are such cheery chums that you all live
blissful lives?"
"Far from it..." Xander almost tumbled over laughing at her last remark.
"But at least we all care about each other and we're happy that all of us
are alive."
"How fortunate for all of you," Ash laughed. "Unfortunately, I can't share
your sentiments. To be stuck in limbo for one hundred years, only to be
brought back to life, knowing that I'll never know real peace…I can't do it.
I can't face that pain. It hurts too much…" she trailed off as Angel
neared her.
"Angel…uh- it's almost daybreak. Perhaps we should, umm…"
"I know, Ash..." Angel ignored Giles' warning, "...better than you could
imagine. The pain is unbearable...and you don't want it to go on." Ashlan
slowly nodded as her brother continued. "I wish that I could just stop
feeling because I never knew that it could hurt this much. I wish that I
didn't need anybody. But once you love and need somebody, you can never
stop. It doesn't just go away. It stays with you forever."
"That's the whole point," Buffy finishes for him, grasping his hand in her
own.
"So Ash, if you can tell me that you've never felt anything- any love, any
deep need for something or someone- then that's the waste of you. But I've
learned, and I'm done turning my back and trying to ignore what I feel," he
admitted, looking down at the slayer standing beside him. "And I'm not
leaving here until you realize that."
"Are you kidding? In case you've forgotten, you weren't lucky enough to
have a big brother turn you into a hybrid, protecting you from daylight,"
Ash jeered. "Just go home with your little family."
"I'm not leaving, Ash."
"Angel, come on! The sun is coming up!" Cordy pleaded with him.
"Listen to the princess over there and just go," Ash neared him, feeling the
sun's rays breaking through the horizon. "Go!"
"No." Angel wouldn't budge, even as Buffy began to pull on his arm to move
him. Finally, Ash leaped at him, knocking him over, tumbling backwards down
the hill with him until finally reaching the bottom under a nearby tree.
"What are you- crazy! What are you trying to do- get yourself roasted!"
"No...I'm trying to get my sister back," he replied as Ash encircled him in
a hug. The others had ran down the hillside, reaching the bottom in time to
see Angel's arm stretched out in the sunlight, seemingly unaffected by the
bright rays.
"Angel- you're arm," Buffy noticed. "Why isn't it...?" Ashlan pulled
herself out of their hug to see what the slayer was talking about.
"Well...isn't this a kodak moment...it's like the freakin' Brady Bunch."
The group of friends turned to see the owner of the new voice. "Whistler."
In his worn leather jacket and black fedora, Angel recognized him
immediately. "What do you want?"
"Ease up tall, dark, and broody. I come bearing gifts." He walked past the
others, mumbling a few "hellos" and "hiyas" before coming face to face with
Buffy, Angel, and Ash. "Slayer- long time no see. Heard you were dead.
What happened- the afterlife just wasn't what you thought it would be?" he
chuckled.
"No- I just couldn't spend eternity without seeing your smiling face," she
replied, annoyed already at the demon's presence. "So what do you want
now?"
"Not me- the powers," he answered, pointing up at the sky. "Looks like you
were a good boy in a previous life, Angel. You've got it made now."
"As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about, so just spit it out,
Whistler."
"Geez...a guy tries to add a little more drama and excitement to a touching
moment and he gets his head chewed off. Actually- I've seen that happen a
few times. There was this one guy, fella by the name of Nello, whose wife
actually-"
"Whistler!" Buffy shouted. "We don't care! Now what is going on?"
"Your boy-toy is human" he blurted out. He watched as Buffy stood gazing at
Angel in both disbelief and hope. "Uhh, you might want to pick your jaw up
off the ground there girlie...not the most attractive look."
"Angel's human?" she whispered.
"Dead Boy is now Un-Dead Boy?" Xander asked in his typical fashion. At
Whistler's nod, all Xander could muster up was "Damn!"
"How?" Angel finally spoke up, picking himself and Ash off the ground to
face everyone.
"Her." Whistler pointed to Ashlan. "She's the second half of your
redemption."
"What was the first half?"
"Her." This time, Whistler nodded his head up at Buffy. "Earning her love
and loving her in return- that was the first step to redeeming yourself in
the eyes of the Powers That Be. This time your humanity is permanent, but-"
before he could continue, Buffy launched herself into Angel's arms, almost
knocking him to the ground again.
"Whoa! Whoa! Cool it you damn bunnies...do I need to get the hose already?
You're not completely off the hook, my man. You're still working for the
Powers- both of you are- so you've still got your strength and healing
abilities. Consider yourself the first, and hopefully only, male slayer.
Now as for you, kid," his gaze fell upon Ash, "the Powers haven't exactly
decided what to do about you yet. So if I were you, I'd stick around.
Things are always pretty interesting around here anyway."
"What do you mean, they haven't decided what to do with me yet? And who are
the Powers?"
"The Powers That Be. They sorta run things. Ya know...destiny, fate...the
whole deal. Your brother and the slayer here are working for 'em- they're
their chosen warriors in this thing called life, but they haven't exactly
figured out where you stand in the grand scheme of things...so you're going
to be given the chance to prove yourself worthy. You're not being returned
to your watery grave just yet-"
"Damn, and I just put in new curtains and a couple throw pillows," Ash
scoffed.
"Cute. Now I see the family resemblence between you and my man Angel over
th- Angel? Angel? Oh well, those two will have to come up for air
sometime." He couldn't help but smile at Buffy and Angel, almost toppling
over one another, enveloped in a long, passionate kiss.
"Anyway, here's the deal- you're staying until the Powers deem you worthy of
your ultimate choice- life or death. If, after you've earned your
redemption, you decide life is more enjoyable than chillin at the bottom of
an oversized murky fishtank, you'll be granted humanity. But, if you want
to put up some wallpaper to match your new curtains, you'll be sent back.
That's the deal, and whether you like it or not, it's the only one you've
got, kid."
Whistler gave her a light pat on the back as Ash let his words totally
sink in. "You two," Whistler approached a finally separated slayer and ex-vampire,
"had better take advantage of this. It's not everyday the Powers do
something like this. Apparently, they decided that you two are better off
together than apart- though personally, I think they just realized that no
one else would be able to stand either one of you, so you're stuck together
for all of eternity. You kiddies enjoy..." he began heading towards the
street, but turned suddenly when he remebered the other thing he wanted to
ask them. "Oh yeah...do any of you know where to get some decent Chinese
around here?" At their surprised looks, he started walking again. "Ah,
that's alright. I'll ask around."
"Well...I think I speak for eveyone when I say, let's get some pancakes,"
Xander smiled, "...and some sleep. I guess sleeping during the day has
gotta be old hat for you, huh Angel? Angel?" He looked up to see Angel and
Buffy walking back up to the top of the hill. "There they go again. It'll
be a few good hours before we see them again."
"Try a good few days, Xander," Cordy said. "Come on, let's leave them.
They'll be home...eventually."
"Yes, but will they be fully clothed?- that's the $64,000 question." The
others, including Ash, headed back for Buffy's home, leaving the slayer and
her now-human beloved alone.
******
Part Nine
"Will you stay here with me?" Angel asked, locking eyes with the beauty
sitting beside him on the grassy hill.
"Always." She leaned her head against his shoulder as he wrapped an arm
around her. Together they sat, watching the whole magnificence of the
sunrise as if for the first time. Neither could remember any sunrise before
it.
"I can't stand Christmas."
"Angel, here we are, you human, watching the beautiful sunrise together, and
all you can say is 'I can't stand Christmas'?" He turned to look at her,
gently nodding his head. "Well, you may be Scrooge, but at least you're my
Scrooge," she admitted, cuddling up closer to him.
"I didn't say that I hate Christmas, it's just...well, it was around
Christmas that I was turned."
"Oh, Angel...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"You don't have to apologize," he softly kissed the top of her head. "You
didn't know. I lost everything at Christmas...my family, my
humanity...things I never thought I could have again...until you. Buffy,"
he pulled them both up, brushing off some grass as she did the same. "I
stopped believing in Christmas. I stopped wishing for anything. But then
you came along, and I finally had a wish. This is it-" he nodded towards
the rising sun. "Being able to watch the sunrise again and having you to
share it with."
Buffy tries to hold back her tears as she feels his hand gently caress
the side of her face. "That day, when Willow called...what I felt was
deeper and more terrifying than anything I've ever felt. Loss. A terrible
feeling of loss. A part of my life- safety, simplicity. Things that I'd
never known before you. The only thing that I've ever wanted, even before I
was turned, was to be whole. To be needed by someone as much as I need
them. I've only known that feeling with you."
"I feel the same way. I don't know how to feel, how to exist without you,
Angel. Even when we weren't together, I still carried you with me. I need
you, Angel. I love you so much."
"I love you. For awhile, I tried to convince myself that I couldn't love
you. That it wasn't fair to you. But all that did was make it worse
because it killed me that we couldn't be together-"
"Angel, we could've been together. I told you that time and time again.
Even if you weren't human now, the only thing I've ever wanted was to be
with you- no matter what."
"As much as it hurt being away from you, it hurt more being with you- taking
away your chance at a normal life."
"I was the one thing that kept you going, but I was also the one thing that
dragged you down." Angel began to respond, but was silenced as Buffy's
finger fell upon his lips. "I heard what Ashlan said, back at the mansion.
What she left out, Cordelia filled me in with all the details."
Angel's eyes avoided her own, filled with guilt and shame at his recent
actions. Angel gently grabs her hand. "I'm sorry, Buffy," he whispers. She
looks up at him, softly staring into his sorrowfilled eyes, and carefully
grabs his face in her hands. She softly kisses his forehead, and then his
lips, pulling him into a strong hug. "I know...I know. But why didn't you
tell me?" He shrugs his shoulders as she pulls out of their embrace to face
him.
"I didn't want to worry you."
"Fat chance of that ever happening," she softly laughed.
"I know. I should've told you. I just hate-"
"Being taken care of instead of being the one who always takes care of
everyone else?" As he nods his head, she takes his hand and leads him back
down the hill. They walk the waking streets back to Buffy's house, and as
Angel pulls her into a strong embrace, Buffy continues. "I know. That's one
of the many things I've always loved about you. Angel, what finally knocked
some sense into you?"
"Believe it or not, Cordelia."
"I believe it. Cordelia's really changed...matured. I'm sure she's been a
great friend."
"She is. They're all wonderful- but they're not you. That night, I
should've known that Cordy knew what I was up to…she had been watching me
for a few hours after everyone else had gone to bed. The next morning.....
1 week ago:
Been around this world so many times
If you could only see my mind
I watch my secret heaven turn to hell
Love alone has guided me
The ghost of my own destiny
I wish I never had a soul to sell All the things I put me through
I wouldn't wish my hell on you
You'll never know what's going on inside ~~~"Angel? What do you think you're doing?!" Cordelia had followed her
boss to the roof of the hotel just minutes before daybreak. "Come back
down. We'll have some breakfast, and talk- just you and me, ok?"
"Leave me alone...just go Cordelia...now."
"Angel- Angel, I know it's hard. I know-"
"You don't know!" he turned around to face her. "You don't know how hard it
is- how painful it is. I can't do this. I can't keep fighting with nothing
to fight for. I've dedicated myself to helping strangers I've never met,
faces I've never seen. Well, the innocent aren't faceless anymore."
"And what about Buffy?" Cordy inched closer towards him, hoping to be able
to snatch the stake out of his hands.
Just another lonely, broken hero
Picking up the pieces of my mind
Running out of faith and hope and reasons
I'm running out of time "It's easier to just let go like this."
"So that's it! You're just giving up on her?! You're just giving up on all
of us?!" His only response was to turn his back to her, staring off into
the horizon, waiting for the sun's first rays to hit him. "Believe it or
not, Angel, people depend on you more than you realize. I don't know what I
would've done without you these past few years. The same goes for the
others. And Buffy-"
"-deserves a normal life" he cut in.
"Which means that she deserves you! Why is it so hard for you to realize
that you are the one person she depends on for everything?"
Trouble always seems to find
A way to live inside my mind
My haunted hell and me remain alone
Underneath my masquerade
A simple man who's so afraid
I tried to find the light to guide me home My love, please just hold me tight
I'm feeling so afraid tonight
Cause you're the only one who really knows "We can never be together, Cordelia. You know that-"
"All I know is that even when you two are not together, she still depends on
you. She carries you with her. She carries your soul with her everyday.
To tell you the truth, I think the idea of you is what's keeping her going
now, according to Willow." Angel looked up at her, searching her eyes for
an explanation as she walked closer towards him. "It's killing her to be
alive again, Angel. She is so alone...empty and lost. But just knowing
that you're here is enough to keep her sane." Cordy was now standing by his
side, holding the stake in her hand. Gently reaching out to hold his hand,
she pulled Angel into a strong hug, which he more than welcomed. She could
hear him softly crying as he rested his head over her shoulder.
Just another lonely, broken hero
Picking up the pieces of my mind
Running out of faith and hope and reasons
I'm running out of time "I tried. I tried so hard. I gave it all I had, I just don't have any more
without Buffy. I can't help how I feel about her. It's like I tried to put
her and the memories we shared into this dark abyss, but the feelings just
keep resurfacing..."
"Than go to her. Tell her. Angel," she pulled out of their embrace to face
him, "this isn't doing either one of you any good." He nodded, letting her
lead him back down through the hotel. They reached his room and upong
entering, Cordy picked up his phone. "Call her." Angel began dialing the
familiar number but was interrupted by Wesley's shouting as he saw the
former watcher racing into his room.
"Angel! We've got a problem on our hands-"
"Correction-" Gunn interrupted him as he entered the bedroom, "-several
problems. They found the scrolls for the ritual."
"Who? And what ritual?" Angel placed the phone back on it's receiver. "Edge and Christian," Wes answered. "They're planning something. Something
big....."~~~
"Remind me to thank Cordelia when we get home." Buffy hugged Angel tighter
as they continued their walk back to her house, taking the time to enjoy
their first sunrise together. "Angel, no matter what happens, I'm always
going to love you and take care of you. So just promise me one thing- that
no matter what happens or what comes, you'll always share it with me." She
wraps her arms around his waist, being careful of his still sore ribs, as he
lovingly gazes into her hazel eyes, and sweetly nods his head in agreement,
responding to her promise with one of his own. "Whatever happens, whatever
comes, always know that I love you."
******
Angel was careful to close Buffy's front door as quietly as possible.
Seeing the empty living room, they figured everyone was trying to catch some
sleep, either at their own homes or somewhere in Buffy's house.
"Since food will now be part of your daily routine, do you want some
breakfast?" Buffy asked him, stifling a yawn.
"Buffy...you're exhausted. You've got to get some sleep, even if it's only
for a few hours."
"Oh...do you have plans after that," she beamed up at him.
"Wouldn't you like to know. Sleep now, play later. Come on...you're going
to bed." He grabbed her hand, leading her up the stairs to her bedroom. As
they opened her door, they took notice of the small frame curled up among
Buffy's pillows.
"Why does this girl love my bed so much...she's gonna drool all over Mr.
Gordo."
"I'm sure he's had worse over the years." At Buffy's unamused look, Angel
walked over to her bed and gently picked up Dawn. "Come on, Dawnie. Big
sister Buffy is kicking you to the curb." Dawn, half-awake, curled up
closer to his chest. "She always does," she groggily murmured.
Returning from tucking Dawn into her own bed, Angel found Buffy already
dozing off under her covers, Mr. Gordo snuggled under her right arm. Unable
to resist and feeling exhausted himself, he snuggled down next to her.
Sensing him near her, Buffy rolled over onto her side, slinging an arm
across his waist and resting her head ontop of his chest. "Don't move," she
whispers. "I just want to hear your heartbeat." Angel kisses the top of
her head and within minutes the two are fast asleep.
******
Six hours later, Angel, in an attempt to stay warm, went to snuggle up
to Buffy, but instead he found himself snuggling with her still-warm pillow.
"Buffy?"
"Over here, Angel," she called from the large window across from her bed.
Angel slips out from under the covers and goes to join her by the
windowsill. "What are you doing?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing," she quickly places the sketch pad she held onto her
floor along side her bureau. "Late sleeper, huh?"
"It's only..." he glanced to her nightstand, "twelve. I would think for
you, that's still too early.
"Mmm..." she wraps her arms around him, "it's late when I want to spend the
whole day with you."
"Cordelia! Dawn! Will, Tara! Get your stuff!" Buffy slipped on her
jacket as she and Angel reached the bottom of the stairs. "I managed to
convince Angel to take us shopping, and-" they entered her kitchen where she
expected them all to be, but was met with an empty counter and empty chairs,
"-and I'm talking to myself," she finished. "Where is everyone?"
"I guess they're all still asleep," Angel said.
"Well some people are trying to sleep upstairs," Cordy appeared behind them,
"but it's really hard with someone yelling down here. Gunn, Wes, and Fred
already left for LA- and no, they did not take your car," she answered
Angel's question before he could ask it, watching him race to the window to
see his new Benz still in the driveway, "-Giles drove them. Xander and Anya
went home, said they'd see you at the Christmas party at the Bronze tonight.
Dawn's out like a light, and Tara and Willow left to go buy you a
Christmas tree. It is Christmas Eve- though you wouldn't know it looking at
this place. I think even Scrooge had at least a wreath or something."
"Where's Ash?" Angel inquired.
"Oh, she was asleep with me in Willow and Tara's room when I heard you two
down here. Hope you don't mind. She's really a sweet girl, Angel. Takes
after her brother," she smiled up at him. "What are you two doing back so
soon?"
"We've been back. Caught up on a little thing called sleep. Get dressed.
Angel's taking us out."
"No…no, no, no. If I don't get at least six hours of sleep, I go psycho.
Just ask him," she nodded up at a still smiling Angel. "On second hand,
don't ask him. I do not need him telling stories."
"You know I'm going to hear them eventually, Cordy."
"Mmm. Cordelia- bed. That's all I'm comprehending right now. Besides,
it's a much better alternative to seeing you two making with the smoochies
the whole time we'd be at...where'd you say Angel wanted to take us?"
"Shopping." Before she knew it, Cordelia was heading back up the stairs to
grab her purse. "Gimme two minutes. I can sleep when we get back. You
two-" she pointed at them as she came bouncing back down the stairs after
fixing her hair, "-had better get all your kissing out of your systems
before we get to the mall, cause I refuse to be seen with the both of you
when you're like that- which, by the way, is almost all the time. I will
fully deny that I even know you two-"
"Cordelia- chill. We'll behave." Angel kissed Cordy on the forehead, then
leaned in to place a kiss on Buffy's soft lips. As he was grabbing his
jacket and keys, Buffy took Cordelia by the arm, leading her out the front
door. "Cordelia…I wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"For bringing my Angel back to me. For being such a great friend...to the
both of us." The brunette sweetly smiled at the slayer. "You don't have to
thank me, Buffy. Seeing the both of you finally happy together is thanks
enough." The two were embraced in a sweet hug when Angel came out the front
door. He opened the door for both of them then made his way around to his
side to head off for the mall.
******
While driving to the mall, Buffy keeps her hand entwined in Angel's, he
smiles at her and then looks back out at the road. Angel looks out at the
gray pavement and the yellow strips passing the car as he speeds down the
highway, he thinks about how much he wished and waited for this moment to be
with Buffy. To be human.
"Angel??", Buffy gently grasps his hand tighter to break him our of his
thinking state. He jerks out of it and glances at her quickly, "What??
What's wrong??", she laughs "Well, I said the mall was two exits back...you
passed it," he smiles, still thinking a little, "Sorry...I didn't hear
you...I was thinking about something", he
takes the U-turn at exit 3 to turn around and head back the other way.
"About what??", he looks both ways and heads out back onto the highway,
"About you and life in general...", she smiles and turns to look out the
window, "Yeah...I get like that too."
"Umm...excuse me," Cordelia popped her head up from the backseat, "another
person in the car people. Could you please refrain from any more dirty
thoughts about one another until we get home?" she jokes with them, still
reeling from the happiness of seeing them together.
Twenty minutes in the mall with both Buffy and Cordelia was enough to
drive Angel crazy. When they weren't both racing from rack to rack trying
on every piece of clothing they could find, they were dragging him into
store after store making him buy a new wardrobe- more clothes that were less
"broody" as Cordy put it. But it did his newly beating heart good to see
the two most important women in his life so happy.
"So…where to next?" Buffy asked, three bags of clothes in each hand.
"Actually," Angel stopped in front of the huge fountain in the center of the
mall, "why don't you two finish up whatever shopping you've got left to do,
and we'll all meet up here in an hour."
"Where are you going?" Buffy leaned against him, not wanting him out of her
site for a minute. "We promise, we won't make you try on anything else,"
she gave him her sweetest smile.
"Tempting...but no," he laughed, kissing her forehead. "I have some
Christmas shopping of my own to do and I'd like to keep your gifts as
surprises."
"Hey, if he's buying us presents, let the man go, Buffy. When you get to my
name on the list Santa, just remember two words- sparkly diamonds."
"I've got two words for you too- pay cut?"
"Haha...come on, Buffy. I think you can bare to be apart from Mr. Jolly for
sixty minutes."
"Think again…but, I'll be good. Love you," she leaned in to kiss Angel and
was dragged off in the opposite direction by Cordy.
"So what are you getting Angel for Christmas?" Cordelia asked her once they
stepped into Capo's.
"Actually, I've got a fantastic idea, Cord. I already asked Dawn to finish
working on it while we came shopping. I just hope he likes it."
"Please...you've got that man so wrapped around your finger. You could give
him a brown paper bag and he'd treasure it forever just cause it's from
you..."
An hour and a half later, Angel waited patiently with his few bags
sitting by the fountain. Buffy and Cordelia walk down slowly, noticing Angel staring into
oblivion with a goofy grin on his face. Cordy heads over to buy a lemonade
as Buffy rushes over to Angel, kissing him on the neck from behind, covering
his eyes with her soft hands. "Guess who?"
"I don't have to guess," he pulls her hands down, turning around to capture
her lips in a soft kiss. "I'd know you anywhere. Did you two get all of
your shopping done?"
"Yep. How 'bout you? What'd ya get me?" She leaned forward to peer over
into his bags.
"Uh-uh...you'll just have to wait until later tonight. It'll be worth it, I
promise."
As she sits down by the fountain to take a rest, she wraps her arms
around his waist, and begins to interrogate him about her gift. "Angel,"
she begins as they kiss, "how about you tell me what my gift is?" Kissing
her while laughing at her attempt, Angel answers, "Cause that would ruin one
of my greatest surprises ever for you, and you really don't think I'm about
to do that, do you?" Buffy continues to work on him, kissing her way down
his neck. "If you tell me now...I'll be your best friend," she says, not
being able to hold back a laugh for her last remark.
"First of all, you're already my best friend," he says with a final kiss,
pulling her up as he sees Cordy returning with her drink. "And second...no.
You'll just have to wait and be surprised." Seeing Buffy's immediate
mock-pout, he kisses her, and drags her out to his car to head home.
******
Part Ten
"Please?"
"No."
"Pleeease?"
"Noooo."
"Please, please, please, pleeeease?!"
"Exactly what part of the word 'no' don't you understand," says Buffy as she
places the wrapped box in her bedroom closet.
"Actually, I've always had a hard time with the 'n'," says Angel, grabbing
Buffy around her waist from behind. "Come on," he says, beginning to nuzzle
her neck, "tell me what you got me? I think I've had my fill of surprises
for one day- you know, being granted my humanity and all- I really don't
think my heart could handle any more surprises."
"Hmmm...nice try, but...nope. To quote a certain someone, 'you'll just have
to wait until later tonight'."
"Oh, that's really fair," Angel pouts.
"But, you're more than welcome to continue with your methods," Buffy says,
as she goes to kiss him, but he quickly turns his head. "Oh come on...the
least you could do is let me surprise you once in a wh-" she's taken by
surprise as Angel pulls her into his lap. The two begin laughing heavily on
her bed. "You know, if it wasn't Chrismas, and I wasn't so much in love
with you, I'd slug you for making me think you were really mad," says Buffy
as she snuggles into his arms.
"Come on Buffy, you know I could never get mad at you," he says, as he
places one arm around Buffy's back, sitting up on the bed.
"Good...cause if you wanted to play that game I could start bugging you
about that bag we saw you were carrying out of the jewelry store."
"I haven't the faintest idea of what you're talking about," says Angel with
a smile. "That must've been some other guy you saw."
"Well see, that's impossible. Wanna know why?"
"Enlighten me."
"Because no matter if we're alone, or in a crowded place, you are the only
guy my eyes ever see." She begins to kiss him deeply. "So...how's about
giving me a hint as to what's in that jewelry bag?"
"Nice try. You're almost as good as I am when it comes to being sneaky."
He pulls Buffy into his body for a sweet kiss. "You're happy," he says to
her, almost as a question.
"Why wouldn't I be? I've got everything I need right here in my arms."
"I'm glad...to see you smiling and happy again. That's all I've ever wanted
Buffy...for you to be happy." Buffy pulls him in and kisses him, but the
couple is interrupted by a knock on her bedroom door.
"Are you two decent?"
"Come in, Dawn," Buffy invites her sister in.
"Xander and Anya are here. We're all ready to go to the Bronze. And,
Cordelia's got a surprise downstairs."
"Should we be worried?" Buffy laughs, going over to her mirror to give her
makeup a final check. Angel couldn't pull his eyes away from her. Dressed
in a simple black spaghetti strap dress that stopped just above her knees,
with a small, cute dragonfly detailed out of rhinestones upon the left
corner, Angel couldn't imagine anything more stunning.
"Hard to say...I think it's pretty cool."
"We should be worried then." Angel smiled. 'I never knew Angel could smile
so much. It's a good look for him.' As Dawn talked with Angel about the
gang's plans for the evening, Buffy's gaze quickly fell upon him. He was
dressed in a black suit, the collar of his tieless darkblue dress-shirt
having one button undone, slightly emerging from his black suit jacket.
"Ready?" Angel's silky smooth voice knocked Buffy out of her appreciative
gaze. Taking his hand, Buffy followed Angel and her sister downstairs.
"Look who decided to grace us with their presence."
"Spike?! What are you doing here?"
"I told you I'd come 'round tonight to check up on things, Peaches."
"Great. I don't know how I would've survived the night without seeing you."
Looking around the room, he noticed only one person missing. "Where's
Ashlan?"
"Oh- she's in the kitchen," Tara answered, a smile plastered across her
face.
"So…I hear you're among the breathing now. Glad to hear it- now maybe you
won't as much as a nuisance to me," said Spike.
"Don't bet on it, Spike," Angel replied.
"He's still got his strength, ya know," Willow chimed in. "He's a male
slayer. The first, actually," she added matter-of-factly.
"Christ- it wan't enough to have just blondie over there. And now you're
human. Oh- great! Now I can't even hit you!" Spike whined. "Some
Christmas!"
"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be celebrating with some of your more
gruesome buddies?" Xander asked him.
"Hey- I happen to think that Christmas is a joyous occasion that should be
shared with loved ones and friends. And since you all are my best friends-"
"But we all pretty much hate you," Anya told him. Spike stared at all of
their glaring faces. "Alright, well- you're the only ones who'll answer the
door and let me in," he admitted. "So are we going or what?"
"We're just waiting for Cordelia to show us this surprise of hers," said
Buffy. "So, where is it Cordy?" They all watched as she strolled over
towards the kitchen. Coming back out into the living room, her smile beamed
from ear to ear, anxious to see Angel's reaction. "It's right here," she
gestured behind her with her arms but soon noticed that her surprise was a
bit shy. "Ash? Ashlan, get out here."
"I'd rather be back underwater," she muttered.
"Get out here-" she reached into the kitchen and finally pulled her out into
the living room for everyone to see. Ash stood awkwardly against the wall,
staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the group's reaction.
"Wow," came Buffy's response. "Ashlan, you look...I mean- you look just
like-"
"God- they even dress alike," Xander interrupted her. "Ok- lemme just say,
the second you and undead boy get matching haircuts- I'm outta here."
"Can I have that in writing, Xander," replied Angel. He walked past him,
approaching his sister. Her new attire, quite similar to Angel's, was a
departure from her previous leather pants and black shirt ensemble. Her
black hair was finally dry and tied back into a simple ponytail. She wore a
pair of black dress pants, and a black duster overtop a blue silk shirt.
"You look great, Ash" was Angel's simple and honest reaction. "This was
your doing I take it?" he asked in Cordy's direction.
"Your sister cleans up nice, doesn't she?" The brunette walked over to them
and began fussing with Ash's duster and shirt. "What can I say- a little
haircut, some new threads, and-"
"And you've got an Angel mini-me," Xander cut in. Seriously though," he
noticed Angel's annoyed glance, "you look great, kid."
" 'Kid'? I think I'm over 240 years past 'kid'. But...thanks. It was
Cordelia's idea though."
"Thanks Cordy." Angel leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.
"Wonderful...the lil' squirt's got new clothes," Spike spoke up, "how 'bout
we get going so she can show them off, huh?"
******
"So...let me get this straight...you're the slayer...you're an 1100 year old
demon but you're pretty much powerless...you two are witches, but good
witches...you're still a full-fledged vampire but you can't hurt
anyone...and you...you, uh- don't...do...anything?"
"Hey!" Xander took offense to Ash's quick summaries of the friends sitting
at their usual table in the Bronze. "I may not be an official freak, but I
lend moral support and comic relief to the party mix." Ignoring his plea,
Ash's eyes wandered to the huge Christmas tree standing in the corner of the
club by the stage. While admiring it's beauty, Ash turned her questions
back to Spike. "So Spike, why exactly can't you hurt anyone?"
"I've got this bloody chip in my head, and-"
" 'Chip'?"
"You know, like a computer chip-"
" 'Computer'?"
"Oh…yeah- you've been pretty much out of the picture for about a hundred
years. Come on over here, love..." he motioned for her to move beside him,
"I'll fill you in on everything you need to know to survive the twenty-four
hour zoo around here."
"No offense, Spike," Angel began, "but I think I prefer my sister sane. If
you really want to be caught up with things Ash, Cordelia is a much better
source."
"Well, why can't you just give me a quick rundown of the past century right
now?"
"Because," he sat up and reached for Buffy's hand, leading her to the dance
floor, "I need to dance with my heavenly date here- if you'll do me the
honor, love?" Buffy nodded slowly, wordlessly, as she felt herself go weak
in his arms.
Something is wrong, nothing's o.k.
Cause when I'm without you, nothing's the same
Don't misunderstand me, cause nothing's alright
When I'm without you the day turns into night
...into night We dream of a future...a possible place
Where we lie together face to face
And I'm looking forward
I will not deny
I dream of a future made for you and I
You and I Buffy pressed her body closer to his and felt his arms tighten around
her. His hand traced light circles in the small of her back. She shivered
and brought her arms around his neck, resting her head against his chest,
smiling at the all too true words of the song.
When I'm with you
No longer alone
When I'm with you
It feels like I'm home
You are with me
No longer alone
You're all I can see
It feels like I'm home
It feels like I'm home Buffy begins to tear up at the song, sniffling as the tears
unvoluntarily flow--and Angel smiles, kissing them away with his lips,
hugging her deeply.
I look through the darkness into the sky
The moon up above me brilliantly shines
I've never been happier watching it glow
You're here by my side, I'll never be alone
...I'm not alone I look through the brightness into the sky
The sun up above me, spitting out fire
Call me a child, call me naïve
The world is much brighter
Than it ever used to be Angel brought one hand up from her back and placed it gently against
her head, brushing against her hair and tucking it back behind her ear. He
continued to stroke her hair and Buffy felt herself slipping into the
ecstasy of complete contentment. "Buffy...I don't know whether you still
do, but...I want my life to be with you. I want to give you that bright
future you deserve."
"Do you know how much I love you, Angel? There aren't enough words that I
could use to tell you just how much I absolutely adore you, and want to be
with you- now and forever. You are and always will be the one person who
makes me truly happy. I finally feel alive again." Angel inclines his head
and Buffy meets him halfway. The kiss was long and sweet and filled with
the promise of more. Buffy tangled her hands in his hair, and he sighed
against her lips. He pressed forward and she layed her forehead against
his.
When I'm with you
No longer alone
When I'm with you
It feels like I'm home
And you are with me
No longer alone
You're all I can see
I know that I'm home
I know that I'm home As the song ends, Buffy looks up into his loving gaze, taking his hand
and leading him back to their table amid Ash and Spike's fighting.
"You're out of what lil' bit of a mind you ever had you miserable excuse for
fishbait! How do you figure-"
"I'm telling you- you owe me $5,462- give or take a hundred."
"Sod off! How do I possibly owe you-"
"Remember that night in Paris when you went on that all night drinking
binge? Your tab came to about-"
"A hundred francs! Two hundred at most! So how do I owe you-"
"You didn't think that I wasn't going to charge you interest for the money
you borrowed, did you? So pay up!"
"Hey Peaches- you'd better restrain your kid sister before I knock her
blinkin' block off!" Spike quickly got up, mumbling his goodbyes to
everyone. "Bloody hell- everybody wants something these days. I swear- the
minute I manage to get this damn chip out of my head..."
"It's a good thing you two came back when you did-" Dawn made an attempt to
put a stop to their bickering, "I was about ready to send for the jaws of
life to pry you guys apart. I see we're not too keen on the whole breathing
aspect of being human yet, huh Angel? Cause otherwise, you and my sister
wouldn't have been making with the nonstop smoochies out there," Dawn
giggled.
"Get used to it, Dawnie," says Willow.
******
Part Eleven
"So who's going first?" Anya twirled the small box she was holding perched
atop Xander's lap. "Since I already know Willow's going to hate my present-
it's a new pen" she told the young wiccan, tossing her the box, "who's got
me? Who bought for me?"
"Gee- thanks for the surprise, Anya." Willow lifted the lid of the small
case. It wasn't the best gift she had ever received, but it was a pretty
cool pen- as cool as pens can get. It even had a small menorah inscribed
around the cap. "I don't know who picked your name, but-" she handed a
larger box to the ex-demon's fiancee. "Merry Christmas, Xander."
"If this is a really big dreidel, Will-" he joked. "Hey- cool sweater.
How'd you know I needed something to keep me all warm and toasty now that
we've been hit with a freakin' cold front."
"I thought that's what I was for, sweetie," Anya asked him with a raised
eyebrow.
"Well...yeah- I mean, you do. I just meant- ya know…uh- who's next?"
"I'll go." Buffy sat up from Angel's lap to hand Anya her gift.
"Finally- somebody bought me a gift that I don't have to pretend to like and
then return." Anya held the skirt before her for the others to see. "This
is great. Thanks Buffy."
"Honey- that stuff about pretending to like gifts? You never did that with
any of my gifts- did you?" Xander stared at her for a moment, watching as
her eyes quickly darted away from him.
"Okay- next. Who's going next??"
"So that's the way it's going to be, huh? Fine- here Dawn," Xander tossed
her the box.
"Xander…do I look five years old to you?" Dawn held the box in front of
her, eyeing it curiously.
"Hey- people of all ages love Pokemon. And that's the complete set of
figures. A rare commodity," he proudly smiled.
"Not to me," she placed the box beside her on the floor. Seeing his
distraught face though, she got up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "But
thank you- it is pretty cute. It'll look great in my room."
"At least someone around here appreciates my efforts," he murmured in Anya's
direction.
"Oh- come here, honey. You know I love you- and all you're gifts." That
was all it took for the couple to kiss and make up.
"Guys- hello? Kid in the room," Buffy said.
"You should talk, Miss My-tongue-has-permanent-residence-down-Angel's
-throat."
"Here Tara-" Dawn handed her a fluffy bundle. "I decided to go practical
this year." Tara ripped through the wrapping paper to reveal a new pillow
covered in moons and stars.
"Thanks Dawnie," she reached over to hug her. "Hopefully Willow won't hog
this one too." She received a light nudge from her girlfriend before
handing a box to Buffy. "Here ya go, Buffy- Merry Christmas." Eagerly
tearing away at the box, Buffy reached inside to find a new journal. "Wow-
this is really beautiful Tara. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. If I could've found another one, I would've bought it for
myself."
"Well, maybe if you're a good girl, Santa will bring you one." Angel sat up
to retrieve the bags he had accumulated at the mall earlier that day.
"Here-" he handed Tara the first present before making his way around to
hand everyone else one- except Buffy, Ashlan, and Cordelia.
"What about us?" Cordelia spoke up for the three of them. "I suppose we're
yesterday's news, huh?"
"Be patient- you'll all get yours."
"You got us all gifts, DeadBo- err…Undea- umm…Angel. Yeah that works."
"Yeah- and if you can go an entire year without calling me any of your
obnoxious names, maybe you'll get a birthday gift from me too." The rest
of the Scooby Gang wasn't surprised by the ex-vampire's generosity. Angel
had bought Tara the exact same journal she had bought for Buffy, and Willow
some new spellbooks; Anya a new necklace, Dawn an art book, and Xander…
"Space Mutant Freaks 2! Awesome! I've been looking all over for this video
game! Bless you!-" he jumped up, wrapping his arms around a very surprised
Angel before he realized what he was doing. "I mean, uh-" he released his
hold, backing away quickly, "thanks man." Xander sat back down, hugging the
video game to his chest.
"Great," Anya whined, "now that's all he's going to do. Way to ruin my sex
life, Angel."
"I can't wait to go home and play this! You're going to love it, sweetie.
There's this huge-"
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to play that thing!"
"Uh-" Angel cut in, trying to prevent another lover's quarrel between the
two, "-I have something for Giles too. Where is he anyway? He should be
back by now."
"I think he said something about doing some research with Wes," Cordelia
lied. She knew where Giles and the others were- and it certainly wasn't in
L.A. But she wasn't about to ruin her second Christmas surprise for Angel.
"Well, I guess that leaves you three." Angel walked over to the couch,
pulling out a small rectangular box for Cordelia, and a larger one for his
sister. His final gift, a small black jewelry box, he held in his right
hand.
"Whoa- it's beautiful, Angel. How'd you remember?"
"That you love clocks? How could I forget? You had only collected about
four hundred by the time you were 120." The small porcelain clock was
encased by a glass dome with a tiny silver cross perched on top of it.
"Thank you," she smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
"You're welcome," he answered her kiss with a warm hug. "So…Cordy, how do
you like your gift? Cordy?? Cordelia??"
"Sparkly," she finally managed to breathe out. "Ve- very sparkly." She
lifted the small diamond-accented watch from it's case. "Angel…I can't
accept this."
"Why? Not enough diamonds for you?"
"Angel- I'm serious. I was kidding earlier about the diamonds. This is too
much."
"Well, if it's too much for you-" Dawn stood up, making an attempt to grab
the silver watch, "-I'll take it off your hands." Cordy quickly clutched
the watch to her chest. "Touch it and die little girl. Angel-"
"Cordy- take it. I owe you this much. Just consider it an alternative to
that raise you've been bugging me about," he smiled at her.
"Angel...thank you." She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him
tightly and planting a sweet kiss to the side of his head. "Thank you for
everything," she whispered into his ear. Angel had essentially taken
Cordelia in as his family- his sister. Knowing that her own family rarely
showed much concern for her, Cordy had relied so much on him over the past
few years for which she would be forever grateful. The only person she
considered luckier than herself to have Angel in their life was-
"So where's Buffy's gift, Angel?" Dawn's sharp voice broke Cordy out of her
thoughts. Pulling back from him, she playfully slapped Angel across the
chest. "Yeah- if you got little old me this-" she motioned to her her new
favorite piece of jewelry, "I can't wait to see what you got the lovely Miss
Summers over there."
"Actually..." Buffy began, "I want to give you your gift first. "Even
though it was my idea," she walked over to pull his gift out from underneath
the tree, "I guess you can consider this a gift from me and Dawn...and
Xander??"
"Huh?" Xander looked up from his video game booklet.
"There's a box under here that's addressed, 'From: Xander, To: Angel'?"
"Oh…yeah. I got ya something man. Not much. Just something I'd figure
you'd be needing now that you're among the land of the living with the rest
of us mortals." Buffy handed the box to Angel. Cautiously peeling back the
paper, he opened the case lid. "Sunglasses? And Ray-Bans too. That's
really...sweet, Xander. Thanks."
"Wear 'em in good health my man," he responded, barely looking up from his
video game box.
"I guess it's my turn," a nervous Buffy said, handing Angel the thin,
rectangular package. Carefully tearing the paper off, Angel paused for a
moment as he caught a small glimpse of the gift that layed within. He
looked up at Buffy with unbelieving eyes, and she nodded for him to
continue. Finally ridding the gift of the remaining wrapping, Angel held
the framed portrait in front of him to eye completely. It was a handdrawn
picture of him and Buffy from just that morning- captured in a passionate
embrace ontop of the hill, watching as the sun's beams illuminated their
faces with the breaking dawn. "Buffy…this is magnificent. How did you-"
"This morning- I woke up long before you just to watch you sleep. You
looked so peaceful...I just wanted to capture your first moment of humanity
for you to always be able to look back on and cherish."
"So this is what you were doing this morning?"
"Mmm-hmm. I started it, and I had Dawn finish it while you took us
shopping. I know it's not as good as some of your stuff, but...do you like
it?"
"I love it. I couldn't imagine a better present," he pulls her into a deep
kiss, his free hand gently caressing the small of her back. "But-" he
reluctantly pulls out of their embrace, "maybe I can imagine one just as
good." Angel slowly reaches into his back pocket to retrieve the jewely
box. He lifts the lid of the small black box to reveal a silver claddagh
ring- a large heart-shaped diamond as it's center being carefully guarded by
the hands and crown. As he bends down on his knee he begins to speak, fully
aware of Buffy's startled, tear-filled gasp.
"Buffy, we've been through so much agony and so much pain, that it's time we
started enjoying each other- just being able to be with you once again and
hold you in my arms in the sunlight is enough joy for me to last me five
lifetimes. I would be honored if I could finally hold you as my wife.
Buffy...will you marry me?"
Buffy can't think or breathe. This is the day that she had waited for
since the day she first laid eyes on Angel. Not being able to think past
the fact that she had just been proposed to, Buffy just stands still.
Cordelia can't stand it. "Hey dummy," Cordy hits Buffy's arm, "You just got
asked the question of a lifetime. Aren't you going to answer the man?"
"What? Oh right! YES! YES! YES! Yes, of course I'll marry you, Angel!
I love you so much!" Buffy shouts as she launches herself into Angel's
arms. When she finally releases her grip on him, Angel slips the ring on
her finger once again, the heart pointing towards her own. Buffy wraps her
arms around his neck and begins kissing him passionately, until their mutual
need for air becomes an issue. "I love you," she whispers.
"I love you." He leans down to kiss her again but soon realizes they still
have an audience.
"Guys," Willow is the first to hop up, "congratulations! If any two people
were meant to be together, it's you guys." She and the rest of the gang
take turns congratulating and passing around hugs to the two of them.
"So-" Cordelia begins, fully expecting to be out of a job- "I take it Angel
Investigations is-"
"Relocating," Angel answers for her. "We've worked too long and hard
building up our reputation, Cordy. I may not be going back to L.A., but
we're definitely keeping the agency going. We'll just find an office here
in Sunnydale."
"Angel, no. Why do that when I can just move in with you in the hotel?"
"Buffy, I appreciate that, but you're needed here. All of your friends- our
friends, are here in Sunnydale. Plus, there's Dawn-"
"Hey!-" Dawnie cuts in- "don't let me stop ya. I'll be fine here on my
own."
"You've got to be kidding me?" Buffy passes a glance at her little sister.
"Yeah Dawn. Besides- you wouldn't want to stay with us?" Dawn stands
before the both of them stunned. "You mean...you guys would still want me
around?"
"Of course..." Buffy reaches out to stroke her hair. "You can sorta be like
our daughter- practice for when we have our own kids." Dawn rushes into her
sister's and Angel's arms, nearly knocking them over with her excitement.
"Oh Damn!"
"Cordy?" Angel is taken back by her shout. "What's wrong? It's not another
vision, is it?"
"No, no. My bracelet. It's missing."
"And you just realized this now?" Xander asked. "Cordy- you're losing your
touch."
"The mansion."
"Excuse me?" Ashlan spoke up at Cordelia's mention of the mansion.
"I just remembered- it fell off while I was fighting Sigfried and Roy's gang
of bloodsuckers. I've gotta go get it."
"Cordelia, it's just a crummy bracelet," Xander begins, "but then
wait…nothing's just a bracelet with you, is it?" he laughed, but quickly
stopped himself as he saw Angel's stare.
"It's the one Doyle gave you, isn't it?" Angel asks, already knowing her
answer. She heads for the door until she feels Angel's hand on her
shoulder. "Wait- Buffy and I will come with you."
"No. No, you two enjoy yourselves. Sing some songs- drink some nogg- well,
actually- you might not want to drink the nogg, but you guys stay here. I
won't be long."
"We'll feel better if we go with you," Buffy assures her. "Humor us," she
pleads.
"Fine- but...I'm driving." Cordelia races out to Angel's car, as Buffy
follows, dragging her fearful fiancee along with her.
******
Part Twelve
"You sure you don't want me to run in really quick and get it, Cordy? I
mean, it is pretty cluttered in there."
"It isn't that bad, Angel."
"Cordelia...it looks like the land that time forgot in there." He and Buffy
followed behind the brunette, hand-in-hand, as they walked to the front of
the mansion. Angel opens the front door for the two of them, only to be
startled by what greeted them as they walked in. "Oh my god...wow," came
Buffy's surprised response.
"Buffy, what's- whoa." Angel's shocked expression matched hers completely.
"Did you do this, Cordelia?" The entire mansion was completely restored.
All of the debris had been cleared out and most of Angel's furniture was
present. Some of the artifacts, weapons, and sculptures he had collected
over his many years were tastefully on display, and a few paintings were
strewn over the walls. The floors, walls, and ceilings were all washed
down, and new French windows provided crystal clear rays of light.
"Well, I can't take all the credit. It was just my idea…they-" she pointed
into the hall by the roaring fireplace, "did all the dirty work." Wes,
Gunn, Fred, and even Giles were all sitting around the fire, smiles grinning
merrily. "It's about time you two showed up," Gunn shouted, jumping up to
greet them. "And it looks like congratulations are in order," he stared
down at Buffy's diamond claddagh ring. "Congratulations you two," he pulled
them both into a hug.
"Let me just say-" Wesley approached from behind, "it's about time.
Congratulations."
"You guys-" for the first time in a long time, Angel was at a loss for
words. "I can't believe this."
"Enjoy it. But, uh- this isn't an all play and no work sorta deal,"
Cordelia pointed out. "This is kinda gonna serve as another branch of the
LA office."
"Wes, Fred and I are gonna head up the squad at the hotel in LA," Gunn
explains.
"And I suppose I'll stick around here in town with you guys" Cordelia
announces, "seeing as how you can't get along without me," she adds with
smile.
"Cordelia..." Angel is astonished by the past day's events and can't even
begin to put into words his gratefulness, for everything. "This...is-"
"Our cue to get going," she interrupts him as she sees Buffy wrap her arms
around him, unshed tears of joy glimmering in her hazel eyes. "You two
enjoy..." she reaches out to hug them both, "and don't worry about Dawn- or
Ash for that matter. I'll stay at the house tonight until I figure out
where I'll pitching up new residence-"
"Cordy," Buffy begins, "since you're staying in Sunnydale, why don't you
stay at home?"
"No offense Buffy, but I'd rather move in with Spike than have to move back
in with my parents-"
"No, I mean my house. I mean, now that the agency's going to be open here,
I'm going to be around the house less often. If you don't mind helping look
after a hormone-raging teenager, you're more than welcome to take my old
room-"
"Actually," Angel cuts in, "I think Dawn may want your room now that it's
going to be vacant. But that's a great idea. Of course, you can always
stay here in the mansion with us, Cordy. I mean, this place is almost as
big as the hotel- we've got plenty of room."
"You know, I think Buffy's invitation is a bit more ideal. It's not that I
don't love you guys to death, it's just that- well...you two also love each
other to death, and I really am not looking forward to being woken up in the
middle of the night by the happy couple."
"So..." Buffy attempted to hide her blushing face in Angel's chest, "you'd
rather be woken up by a whining brat who'll take all of your clothes and
forget what she did with them?"
"You know it," she laughed. "Plus, I could do wonders with your room. If
Dawn thinks she's getting it, she's got another thing coming to her."
"Hell hath no fury like Cordelia Chase on the rampage," Gunn mused.
"Damn straight!"
"So that only leaves one thing," Angel speaks up as he tosses his jacket
onto the sofa. "What about Ashlan?"
"I've been meaning to ask you that myself, Angel," Wes says. "What if she
returned to LA with us? She could be a huge help now that you'll be here."
"Tell you what-" Cordelia begins pushing the rest of her friends and Giles
out the front door, "I'll talk with her tonight about what she wants to do,
and you two-" she finally shoves everyone out the door, "enjoy!"
After removing her own jacket, Buffy turns around to see her fiancee
walking towards the full-size mirror that had been placed in the bedroom
hallway. He stood there, edging his face closer to the glass, running a
hand through his hair before he began to trace his facial features. "Looks
like you like what you see almost as much as I do," Buffy says as she leans
her head on his shoulder.
"It's been a long while since I've been able to see myself...almost forgot
what I looked like. And for the first time since even before I was turned-
I like what I see," he nods at their perfect reflection.
"And what do you see?" she turns herself in his arms, gently reaching up to
caress the side of his face.
"My gorgeous soon-to-be wife-"
"And her amazing soon-to-be husband-" she finishes as she pulls him into a
long, passionate kiss. She leads them back into the bedroom, slowly
slipping her hands underneath his suit jacket and sliding it off before
Angel breaks their embrace. "Buffy," as Angel takes Buffy by the hand and
leads her over to sit on the bed, he asks her the question that's been on
his mind since Whistler first said he was human. "Are you sure that you
don't want to wait until after we're married? I mean, as much as I miss
making love with you, and want this so much, I don't want to push things too
soon for you, and..." before he can finish, Buffy gently grabs his face and
kisses him deeply. "What was that for...?"
"For being the sweetest man in the world. It's been one whole day since
you've rejoined us permanent-soul folks, and I say, we start healing each
other- body and soul, tonight. I want to be with you in every sense of the
word, Angel. I just haven't brought it up yet because I thought that you
may still be in pain."
"Well then...I guess tonight you'll just have to be gentle with me." Buffy
giggles, softly kissing the outer shell of his ear as she whispers, "I
should be telling you that...", she playfully smacks him across his chest as
he grins, instantly grabbing her and pressing his lips against hers in a
passionate kiss, stealing away her breath as well as his. They slowly break
the kiss and he stares into her sapphire reflection, seeing himself in her
eyes. "A-Are you sure about this--", he stutters before she places her
hands on his belt buckle, teasingly pulling it. She nods softly, capturing
his lips for another kiss, running her hands over the belt loops of his
pants, tugging at them.
He gasps softly and cups her back in his arms, massaging every curve
and crevice of her body as he pulls her against him, feeling a sudden whisk
of cool air as she managed to get his pants off. They both laugh softly,
feeling the anxiety and sudden rush of emotions fill their hearts
completely, having to wait for this moment for what seemed like forever.
After a few moments of caressing each other and becoming familiar with each
other's feel again, Buffy teases with the elastic band of Angel's boxers,
hooking her thumbs on the inside of them and slipping the shorts from his
body ever so gently.
He trembles and rests his hands on her waist, bending over slightly to
place butterfly kisses on her neck and shoulder, keeping her close to him.
Her eyes flutter shut as he continues to lightly nip at her shoulder blade,
continuing lower to the silk fabric covering her slender body, smiling
before grasping one of the dress's thin straps and slowly pulling it
down--halfway down her arm. He repeats the action with the other shoulder,
lightly tugging the other strap so that the dress hangs off her shoulders, a
strong wind could remove the garment completely from her body. He chuckles
at the sight, leaving her speechless as she blushes and wraps her arms
around his neck, kissing him passionately. He reaches around and pulls on
her garment, letting the dress cascade off her shoulders and landing on the
floor, tickling her feet. She gasps in surprise as he sweeps her up in his
arms and gently lays her on the bed.
They let the silence and warmth speak for them, their soft sighs and
pleads filling the room like a gentle breeze as they become a tangled mess
in the silk sheets, their sweat and sighs of passion becoming a jumbled
emotion in their minds, focusing only on each other and how long they've
been keeping their love inside--only for it to be released. Angel holds
Buffy in his strong arms, the pain in his side going unnoticed, as he thinks
of only pleasing her--his own pain nothing to be with the woman of his
dreams.
Time passes slowly, like grains of sand through a fine shifter, until
finally--their passion erupts, exploding in a soft but sweet way. Angel
sighs, deeply kissing Buffy as she softly moans into his mouth, as he
releases the love that's been pent up for so long...accumulated over time
and finally spoken without even saying a word at all.
"Angel...", Buffy whispers his name softly as she wraps her arms around his
back, sighing exhaustedly and keeping him close to her as she releases her
love for him as well, gently kissing his face as he softly kisses her
shoulder, burying his face in her neck. "Angel...I love you...", she sighs,
stroking his muscular frame as she snuggles herself into his arms, safe and
comforted by his touch. "I love you," he gathers her into his arms and
nuzzles her neck as he pulls her close to him, and they lay together-
kissing and caressing one another, whispering their undying love, and gently
drifting off to sleep together.
******
Buffy pushed herself up off of Angel to reach across him to read the clock-
6:44am. She smiled to herself, recalling their evening's activities. As
she went to go lay back down on top of the nice, soft spot that she had
become accustomed to stretched out across Angel's body, she noticed that he
was awake as well.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," Buffy said, propping herself up on his chest to face
him. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"Sweetie, huh? I could definitely get used to that. I wasn't asleep, by
the way."
"Couldn't get to sleep?"
"Not when I have you in my arms," he said as he wrapped his arms around her
and began to slowly massage and caress her body. "I've just been laying
here watching you sleep, and I want to enjoy every minute of it."
"Well I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of tonight. I missed you so much."
"Me too, Buffy." As his hands continued to roam her body, he gazed deeply
into her eyes, almost becoming lost in their depths of peacefulness and
cherishing love. "I love you."
"I love you too." She leans up against him to give him a kiss, and snuggles
onto his chest, planting several kisses there, until finally laying down
on top of him.
"Do you know how even more beautiful you are when you smile," asked Angel.
Buffy turned herself around in his arms to face him. "I was just thinking
about our first night together- how safe and loved I
felt in your arms," she whispered.
"Until the next morning-" Angel's returning brooding was quickly silenced as
Buffy reached up to place a finger over his lips. "Angel don't. Past,
remember. I wouldn't take back that night for anything."
"I know. I never knew that anything could be so wonderful as having you
love me, in every way possible. He covered her mouth with his, slowly
slipping his tongue on top of hers. "Speaking of wonderful, how are your
ribs?"
"Not too bad. I'll change the bandages before I get in the shower so I can
rub them down good with some ointment. I think after another day or two of
bandages I should be good as new. Thank god I'll still be able to heal
pretty fast."
"Well, how about we take that shower now," says Buffy, as she gets out of
bed, clutching the sheets to her naked body. "You know, growing up, I was
always a firm believer in conserving water. We'll get all washed up, and
I'm sure that I can help soothe your ribs again in the shower. Then after,
we can head back to my
house- see what everybody's up to."
"Well...," Angel slips from underneath the covers to follow her into the
large bathroom, "if you insist. And believe me, we've got plenty of time
for a nice, long shower together. No rush..."
THE END
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