The first thing Faith was aware of was the pounding in her head as she slowly regained consciousness. It felt like some demon had wormed its way in and was happily playing with a jackhammer on the inside of her skull. She awoke confused and disoriented.
Then voices trickled in through the haze shrouding her brain, and Faith suddenly remembered what had happened. Those idiot friends of Buffy's had poisoned her or something, and it had knocked her out. She knew she couldn't alert them and let them know she was awake before she had time to devise an escape plan.
Slowly, ignoring the pain in her head, she cracked open one eye. Her vision blurred and swam for several moments before clearing, and she quickly swept the room with her gaze. Faith saw that she was tied--chained--to a chair in the middle of the room, with nothing she could use as a weapon near her. They must've learned from the last time...
Giles was seated at his desk, covering his ear with one hand as he yelled into the portable phone he held in the other. Some brunette...Annoying? Annie?...was fighting with Spike over the remote, while Xander sat on the couch and watched helplessly. Willow and her little friend were nowhere to be seen, which probably meant they were off "exploring" their new relationship.
The chains would be hard to get out of, but Faith liked a good challenge. Closing her eye once more, she began to worm her hand around, trying to break free. There, almost...
"They're magically bound, Faith. You can't break them without the spell," Willow said from behind her. Startled, she opened her eyes fully and craned her neck around to see the redhead and her little friend standing behind her chair. Turning back, she saw that Giles, Xander, Xander's girlfriend, and Spike were all staring at her too. She scowled and rolled her neck to crack it, keeping her cool. She'd been in worse situations before...
"Looks like our own little Body Snatcher is awake," Xander piped up, an edge to his voice. Faith turned her glare from Willow to Xander, her eyes narrowing.
"Oh goodie, the whole gang's here. Why haven't you losers gotten out of this town?" she snapped. "I'd say it surprises me, but it really doesn't. You're all pathetic."
"At least we don't steal other people's bodies because we're so lame and skanky that we can't deal with being ourselves," Anya replied, raising a sculpted brow. They'd obviously gotten to her, too...
"At least I didn't get fired from McDonald's," Faith retorted, her eyes on Xander. "Or hang out with the Slayer when I'm supposed to be some bad-ass vampire."
"You're lucky I can't bite you, pet, I've always had a thing for Slayer's blood," Spike said dangerously, his voice a growl.
"Your fangs wouldn't come within five feet of me," she replied. "The famous Scooby Gang may hate me, but they're not gonna let you snack on everyone's favorite Slayer's body."
"Evil Chick does have a point," Anya said, looking sympathetically at Spike. "Except for the whole favorite thing. How can we have a favorite if there's only one to choose from?"
"What, are you a closet blonde or something? I'm the other Slayer, therefore you have a choice," Faith said.
"Gee, what a contest," Willow muttered, glaring at Faith.
"Oh look, our little Sabrina is getting snippy. What are you gonna do, cast one of your little spells on me?"
"My, my, the kitty really does keep her claws sharpened nicely," Spike said, sizing Faith up. She sneered at him.
"Yes, Price, we'll bloody be there!" Giles cried. "Don't get your knickers in a twist!" Everyone in the room froze and looked over at the frazzled Watcher, who sat at his desk with his head in his hands, the portable phone pressed against his ear. Giles removed the phone and hit a button, cutting off the call.
"Wow, Giles, you grew a pair while I was out, huh? Who would have thought the unemployed librarian would be doing so well," Faith said, trying to stretch her aching muscles. Giles glared at over the rims of his glasses.
"Do stop your babbling, Faith, we really don't have time--"
"Don't have time?" she repeated. "What, you got a job interview or something? Hey, I saw that McDonald's was hiring, maybe you and Xander could work there together."
"I'm not unemployed, I'm...merely in between jobs," Giles said defensively. Faith cocked an eyebrow but said nothing, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "And I have a full-time job as Buffy's Watcher--"
"Ex," Faith interrupted. "Ex-Watcher."
"You know, you're really rude. Ruder than me," Anya stated, looking squarely at Faith. "Giles is trying to make an important speech about his sacred duty and all that nonsense and here you are interrupting him with technicalities. Let the man speak!"
"Yes, please do," Giles said dryly.
"Oh, you mean you're the ex-Watcher to the Buffy who didn't even come rushing to you when we switched? Wow, I can tell she really appreciates having you around," Faith said sarcastically, boldly looking Giles in the eye. "Where is the famous Buffy now? Hmm? Is the little Slayer having a hard time in jail?"
"Blondie's in L.A. with her blood-sucking Romeo, probably bitching about the hair gel he uses," Spike called from his place in front of the television.
"What?" Faith asked, her teeth clenched as her heart stopped.
"Angel is in L.A.," Willow said with a smirk on her lips.
"Whenever Buffy's in a lot of trouble, she runs to Angel 'cause he can protect her with his vampire strength and that black duster he wears. Scares all the bad guys away," Anya added. Everyone gave her a strange look. "What?" she demanded. "I saw him in it at Thanksgiving. Very intimidating."
"Angel's in L.A.?" Faith repeated. "So he did leave after all. When did he get the balls to leave the love of his life?" Her tone was mocking, challenging.
"I believe it was right after Buffy put you in that eight-month coma," Willow said sweetly.
"You think she would've given the G.I. Joe-Wannabe a chance if Peaches was still around?" Spike asked with a shake of his head. "She'd be even more annoying with her whining than she is now."
"I'm speaking for Buffy here when I say hey!" Xander said, pointing his finger at Spike.
Faith had retreated into her mind and sat frozen in her chair as everything came together. Buffy was in L.A. with Angel. She'd managed to escape the police and hightail it to Los Angeles, probably knowing that Angel was the only one who'd be able to tell. That whole soulmates thing could actually come in handy for this one. Faith felt her hatred towards them increase tenfold, raging through her.
The stupid bitch always seemed to come out on top. She had everything. The friends, the Watcher, the mother, the lover. And she took it all for granted. Faith felt hot anger course through her stolen body at this new turn of events. Buffy wasn't in jail. She was cozying up to her undead ex-honey. In Faith's body. Oh, the bitch would pay. She would pay...
If Faith was going down, she was dragging them all with her.
"I bet it feels *real* good to know that she runs to her ex-honey in times of crisis," she said snidely, anger blazing in her hazel eyes. "Little Miss Perfect escapes for the police, makes her way to L.A., and ends up on her ex's doorstep, begging for him to tell her he knows it's really her. She didn't even come to you--her best friends. She goes to someone who *left* her."
"Exactly how much do you know about Angel's...departure?" Giles asked. Faith rolled her eyes.
"Well, he left."
"I think I speak for everyone here when I say 'duh'," Xander said. Faith turned her heated gaze to him, her hate-filled eyes sending chills down his spine.
"I know more about Buffy and Angel then you could possibly imagine," she retorted.
"Oh really? Somehow I doubt that," Willow challenged.
Faith laughed. "I know all about the good stuff, Red. The sex. The passion. I could tell you things about those two that would make your prude little head explode."
"And what makes you think she didn't tell me them, too?" Willow asked, sounding a little too defensive. Faith quirked an eyebrow at her and smiled wickedly.
"Because you wouldn't be able to handle it," she replied, her smile growing. "B knew she could talk to me because I know what she's talking about. What good is telling someone something if they can't understand it?"
"This really has been a fascinating conversation," Xander interrupted, "but I, for one, don't really wanna hear about Buffy and Angel's freaky sex life. New topic, please."
"No, no, this topic is fine. It's insightful and full of fun facts to learn and know--especially if it gives me dirt on Little Miss Buffy the Vampire Layer," Spike put in.
"Nice nickname," Faith mused. Spike flashed her a grin.
"Thought you might like that one, pet," he replied, his smile widening. Anya smacked him upside the head in disgust.
"Don't flirt with her! She's the prisoner, you're not allowed to do that!"
"Yeah, who's side are you on?!" Willow demanded.
"Guys, can we please stop acting like we're back in fifth grade?" Xander asked, rubbing his temples. Grumblingly, they all agreed. Giles stood and walked into the kitchen, and the sounds of cabinets opening and closing and the faucet running could be heard.
"I wonder if Buffy and Angel are having sex yet," Anya said, tapping her chin with a slender finger. "She's been there for at least twenty-four hours, and since Riley obviously isn't keeping her satisfied..."
"Why do we always have to talk about Buffy and Angel and sex?" Xander asked, pacing the room. The tension that was knotted deeply in his body was having a bigger effect on him than he would have liked.
"We can talk about me and you and sex," Faith suggested, her eyes twinkling with secrets. Xander stopped dead and slowly turned to face her, his face white.
"Why do you want to talk to Xander about sex? He's only allowed to talk about it--and do it--with me," Anya sniped. Faith sneered at the ex-demon.
"Ooh, Xander, the girlfriend will not be pleased to hear a recount of our little sex romp, then. Should I tell her? I do think she has a right to know, after all. I mean, you cheated on her with me. And I tell a mean story, I remember every little detail...exactly what made you moan the loudest. What made you scream. I'm sure Annoying over there would just *love* to hear all about it," Faith said, looking him straight in the eye. Somehow, Xander held her gaze, his jaw clenching visibly.
"I don't think *Anya* really cares about what you and Xander did a year ago, Faith," Willow put in. Faith let out a shrill laugh, shaking her head.
"My dear girl, you really need to catch up on your gossip," she said, gasping for breath. "I was referring to the sex we had last night. The hot, sweaty, dirty sex on that old crate in the warehouse. Remember, Xand? It was dark and hot and I pushed you up against the wall--"
"What, so along with psychotic you're also delusional?" Anya demanded, glancing uneasily from Faith to Xander, who was as white as a ghost. "Xander had a job last night. He needs money to buy more condoms."
"Yeah, that he does," Faith agreed, turning to him. "That one you used looked like it had been in your wallet since freshman year. I'd say you could have gotten me--well, actually Buffy--pregnant, but she seems to have taken care of that all by herself."
The silence that settled over the room was sharp and cold. They stopped and stared hard at her as though she was crazy. Faith smiled broadly and shifted in her chair as she waited for them to process both pieces of information.
"Three, two, one..." she whispered, mostly to herself, counting down the expected time for the room to erupt in pandemonium. On her mark, it did just that. She smirked and said under her breath, "Damn, I'm good."
"Pregnant?!"
"She is not!"
"You're so pathetic, you need to spread lies about us, too?"
"I wonder if Riley knows."
Anya spoke last, and at her statement the others fell silent. Xander scowled, although he was secretly glad that the attention of the group had shifted from him. His palms were sweating, his breathing was labored, and he felt as though he would faint at any moment. Why was nobody saying anything about it? What were they waiting for? Did they not believe it, or had it not processed?
"There's nothing *to* know," Willow replied sharply, "because Buffy is *not* pregnant."
"Are you in her body? Did you get morning sickness when you woke up? No, I believe that was me. Face it, Buffy got knocked up," Faith said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "And from those angry faces I'm guessing she decided not to share her little secret with the class."
"This is impossible," Giles said, pulling off his glasses and beginning to pace.
Faith scoffed. "Impossible? Hardly. Look, I know you think she's a saint but she's still got urges. Why else do you think she's fucking her boytoy? It's not like he's anything special." Willow gasped at Faith's perception of Buffy and Riley's relationship--something she had no idea about.
"Do stop with your lies, Faith," Giles continued, ignoring her. "First you accuse Xander, and now this-this lie with Buffy--it's all in very poor taste."
"Yeah, well I wasn't exactly brought up to be tasteful. And I'm disappointed in you, Giles, I thought you knew me enough to realize that I don't lie. I enjoy screwing with people's lives by opening their closets and bringing out all those skeletons," Faith said, staring him straight in the eye.
"She's telling the truth," Tara said quietly, her gaze fixated on Faith. Everyone turned to look at her, ready to defend Buffy from her as well. She looked at each of them for a brief moment. "I can feel something inside of her."
"Oh great," Spike snorted. "This is bloody priceless. Do you mean to tell me that we're going to have a little Riley Junior running around here? There must be a God, because he obviously gets his kicks out of torturing me."
The others, as always, ignored him.
"Are you sure?" Willow asked Tara softly, her brown eyes wide with disbelief. Tara tried to smile reassuringly at her, but failed.
"I've been practicing my honing in on people, just so I'll be able to tell if a person is a demon or not. It lets me sense them...and I don't sense just Faith," she said, almost apologetically. Willow glanced at Xander fearfully, as though it was too much for her to handle. It *was* too much. Buffy was pregnant?
The room grew quiet once more as each person mulled over the discovery. Faith sat, surprisingly quiet, ruling over the chaos in the room with a huge smile. She had done this. She had created this. She watched Willow look helplessly at Xander, and then Giles, as though they would be able to reassure her that both Tara and Faith were lying. But they were too deeply involved with their own shock to notice. Anya sat on the arm of the couch looking bored, and Spike was flipping boredly through the channels.
"I don't believe it," Willow said firmly, causing the others to look at her in surprise. Faith rolled her eyes. "Buffy's my *best* friend. She would've told me about something as major as this. And as much as I trust you, Tara," she said with a glance at the other girl, "I just can't believe it. Not without proof."
"You want proof?" Faith sneered. "Come here and feel my stomach."
Willow stared at her as though in a trance as her brain worked to understand what was happening. Faith waited for a moment before rolling her eyes in boredom.
"Xand? You wanna feel? You seemed to enjoy it last night..." she said with a wink, bringing up the other subject once more. All eyes turned to Xander, and he paled noticeably in the spotlight. Shakily, he stepped over to where she was seated and with a lot of hesitation he reached his hand out to touch Buffy's belly. His eyes widened when he felt the gentle curve that had once been hard and toned. He yanked his hand away as though he had been burned and stared at her.
"She...there...but-I mean-there's...pregnant," he choked out. Faith laughed at him.
"Look at that, I can still make you stutter...although we established that last night too," she said.
"Will you stop talking about having sex with Xander last night? You didn't! And it's really starting to annoy me!" Anya cried angrily, glaring at Faith.
"Oh, well God forbid that should happen," Faith said, her voice thick with sarcasm.
"Does anyone else think we should gag her? Show of hands, please," Willow called, eyeing the chained girl with disgust.
"Hey, don't give me that look. Direct it right over there to Xander, and save it for Buffy. I did nothing but let you in on their little secrets," Faith told her with a shrug. She glanced at Giles, who had long since dropped down into his chair, his head braced in his hands.
"Xander said you didn't, and I tend to believe him more than someone who's not below lying to make herself look better," Willow said hotly. Faith half-expected her to stick out her tongue, too. It was just the immature thing to do...
"Au contraire, Red," Faith said sweetly. "He didn't."
"Well, at least you can admit that you lied," Anya said huffily. "Although I don't think they have Twelve-Step programs for people like you."
"No, I meant he didn't deny it. Look at him standing there, sweating like a virgin on Prom night," she narrated, nearly laughing when Xander turned paler still and looked as though he was going to be sick. "He's either gonna bolt or faint, whichever one comes first. See how nervous he is? He looks like his parents just caught him watching porn or something...geez, Xand, if you're gonna deny things at least make it look believable," Faith said with a sweet smile, ice in her voice. Xander paled further and remained as still as stone, afraid to look at Anya, Willow, and Giles. If they saw his eyes, they would know...
"Xander, tell her to stop lying! She's making me upset and I don't like it one bit!" Anya cried, looking hard at Xander. He raised his head slowly, his eyes focusing on her, and Anya gasped when she saw how guilty he looked.
"It's true," he said, his voice rough. "We had sex last night."
They were deathly quiet once more. Even Spike was shocked into silence. The occupants of the room stared at him in growing horror as they slowly processed his confession. He didn't dare look at any one of them for too long, he couldn't handle the accusations and disappointment. Anya's face was a mask of betrayal, tears shining bright in her eyes.
Suddenly she sprang into action. She jumped up and walked over to Xander, slapping him hard across the face. His head whipped back from the force of the blow, and he felt the inside of his cheek split open.
"What I wouldn't give for my powers right now!" Anya cried, her eyes burning with anger and despair. "I can't believe you would do this to me! What, was I not satisfying you enough? Or could you just not pass up a chance to sleep with Buffy? You told me you'd never break my heart, Xander! And you did! You just did!"
With that, Anya fled to the bathroom, the door slamming shut as she sobbed. The room was quiet once more as Willow slowly approached him, her eyes dark with anger towards him as well. Xander held his wounded cheek and stared at his best friend, flinching under her gaze.
"You disgust me. To think that you would sleep with her because she's in Buffy's body...which means you thought you were sleeping with Buffy! That makes it so much worse!" Willow cried angrily. "How could you? How could you do that to Anya? How could you do it to Buffy?!"
"I didn't think, okay?!" Xander shot back, lashing out like a wounded animal. "One minute we were looking for a phone and the next she was all over me like I had suddenly turned into Angel or something. It just happened."
"Gotta say I'd have done the same thing in your place, mate. And then to be able to gloat to Blondie that I'd done her...why couldn't you have seduced me instead, luv?" Spike asked, his voice tinted with amusement. Xander shot him a venomous look, which Spike mocked with a roll of his eyes and a toss of his head.
"How are you going to tell one of your best friends that you slept with her mortal enemy--AGAIN, might I add--in *her* body?! How are you going to tell her that you thought it was her?" Willow asked, staring hard at Xander. Without waiting for him to answer, she barged on. "You disgust me. Just because you can't get over Buffy and your whole crush with her--"
"That's enough!" Xander interrupted loudly. "I made a mistake! Gee, I didn't know us humans were allowed to do that! You weren't there and you don't know what happened, so don't you go and judge me like you're--my best friend or anything," he faltered. He broke off with a crack in his voice and dropped wearily into a chair, his head in his hands. Willow stood her ground, staring down at him with her hands on her hips.
"Now this is the way things should be," Spike said gleefully, taking a swig of blood from his coffee mug. "All this tension and anger...it really adds dynamic to the group."
"Someone *please* shut him up!" Willow hissed. Spike quirked an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah, and while you're at it, get me some more blood. A growing boy's got to eat, right?"
Faith had been sitting quietly, enjoying the conflict she'd caused. She chanced a glance at Giles, who was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands, his fingers slowly rubbing his temples.
"So, G-man, what do you think of this whole thing? Your little girl all knocked up, one of her best friends sleeping with me. I bet it'll make quite an entry in your little Watcher journal--that is if you still keep one. Seeing as how you got kicked out of the Council and all, I--"
"Shut up, Faith!" Willow screamed, surprising Faith into silence. A slow smile split across her face as Willow continued. "You've done enough!"
"Oh, Red, I haven't done nearly enough to get you back for destroying my life! It was mostly Buffy and her little obsession with the corpse, but you all helped her. And now I get my revenge. The Scooby Gang, torn to pieces by its own members. All I had to do was push," Faith said smugly. Willow's eyes burned into hers, and the witch could clearly see that it was Faith and not Buffy in Buffy's body. It was all the more unnerving to talk to her and hear Buffy's voice saying such hurtful things...even if they were true.
Looking at Xander, she knew that things would never be the same between any of them again.
"Can we just get to L.A. and switch them back already?" Willow pleaded, going over to Giles. The Watcher raised his head warily and sighed deeply. Anya could still be heard crying hysterically in the bathroom, and Xander sat with his head in his hands, hunched over himself defensively.
"Well, at least our time in L.A. won't be dull," he said, trying to lighten things up a bit. Before anyone could respond, the door swung open and Riley Finn walked in.
"Ooh, such perfect timing," Faith purred from her chair. Riley glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow before looking back at Giles and Willow. Tara had joined the two of them by that time as well.
"Is everything ready to go?" he asked. The three of them looked at one another, and then around the room. Books lay all over the place, and it looked as though a cyclone had blown through. Giles ran a hand through his hair.
"Physically, yes, mentally...we seem to be having a few unplanned delays."
"Like what?" Riley asked.
Faith chose that moment to speak up. "Riley," she called sweetly, causing the commando to look at her. "What would you say if I told you you were gonna be a daddy?"
Riley stared at her in confusion until her words registered. His mouth opened and closed several times, making him resemble a fish, as he tried to form a coherent thought. Spike burst out laughing at his distress.
"Well, now we know that his last name isn't a mistake," he said cheerfully. Willow smacked him upside the head. "Oww! What?! You were all thinking it too!"
By this time, Xander had gone into the bathroom with Anya, and a heated argument could be heard. Riley was still frozen in place.
"So, what do you think for names? For a girl, I was thinking...well, why don't you go first? It is, after all, your child."
Riley continued to stare at her in shocked silence, until Willow put a careful arm around his waist. He looked down at her, his eyes wide with fear.
"We won't know for sure until we can ask Buffy," she said, glancing at Faith and then back to Riley once again. "We won't know."
"Can't trust the new girlfriend *and* the body, huh?" Faith asked Willow. "Man, you should really get help for that."
"I'm going to be a father?" Riley whispered, his face white.
"Yeah, congrats," Spike said sarcastically. "Let's just pray it gets its mother's looks, hmm?"
*~*
There were six of them. They slowly circled the helpless girl, who lay bound and gagged in the center of the room. Slime oozed off their backs, and they grunted in anticipation.
Buffy and Angel crouched behind a wooden crate, each brandishing wicked-looking axes. They didn't need words to form a plan, it was amazing how quickly they had slipped back into their old groove where they could just *feel* what the other was thinking. It was that connection, that intimate bond that they had always shared. With a glance, the two of them jumped up from their hiding spot.
"You'd think that demons would be above rape," Buffy snapped to get their attention. Snorting in outrage, the monsters turned to look at them, eyes narrowing in anger. She cocked an eyebrow. "No, wait, I think you guys are below it. And can I just say eww? You all really need to take a shower or something."
With challenging cries the demons attacked, swarming around Buffy and Angel so quickly that Buffy felt dizzy. She and Angel stood back to back, supporting each other as they began hacking away, chopping at any body parts that they could reach. Their synchronicity was back, and they moved as though they were one being in two bodies.
It was awkward for Buffy to be fighting in Faith's body, the other girl had longer legs and she noticed that a lot of the techniques she used had to be adjusted to work properly. At one point, Buffy felt like the body was doing the calculating as well, judging when to duck and when to lash out. She had an odd feeling, as though she was not in control at all. It was almost as if Faith's body had been programmed to fight, and it wasn't going to hand over the control. The feeling left her unnerved and disjointed, and her technique began to suffer.
The ax was knocked from her grip, and the demon leaned in to snarl in her face. Its hot breath burned her cheek, and she had to fight down the urge to vomit at the oppressive smell. "And going to the dentist wouldn't hurt!" she added as she punched it in the face, her fist sliding over its slimy cheek. "It's called Listerine, works great on plaque and bad breath!"
"Still punning away, I see," Angel grunted; trying to hold his own over the demon that towered over him. He'd managed to hold onto his weapon, but it was useless while he was trying to defend himself from its onslaught. A wet fist connected with his cheek, sending him sprawling on the floor. Buffy shouted his name in fear and lashed out, grabbing his ax and decapitating both of the demons.
A final one charged Buffy, slashing her across her stomach and hurting her already-sore ribs with its claws. She grimaced at the pain and gritted her teeth, retaliating with a sharp right hook in its jaw.
It snarled and punched her back, and Buffy felt her cheek split open under the blow. A trickle of blood flowed down, tracing the curve of her jaw before dripping onto her collarbone. She ignored the pain and fatigue she had begun to feel and landed a sharp roundhouse kick in its mid-section. The demon roared in pain and advanced again. Buffy resumed her fighting stance once more, refusing to let her bruised and bloodied fist tremble, and glared as the demon charged--
Only to fall at her feet, the ax that she had lost buried deep in its back. She looked up from the dead demon to see Angel standing behind it, his shoulder at an odd angle and blood leaking from a cut on his forehead. She smiled slightly and picked her way over to where he stood, giving him a once-over and wincing when she saw his slashed shirt and pants. She knew she looked no better, her cheek stinging and her ribs aching. She also could feel several other wounds, although she wasn't sure how deep they were. Buffy glanced at the girl, who lay in terrified silence.
She raised a trembling hand to his cheek. "And we're bringing children into this?"
TBC…
Back to Serena's Integrated Courses
Back to Lit Department