Willow sat gaping at Giles. "So you're saying that, somehow, Buffy and Faith switched bodies and that Buffy is now in L.A. with Angel in *Faith's* body?" she repeated, a disbelieving look creeping onto her face. Giles sighed heavily and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"That is what Cordelia said when she called," he said, leaning back into the easy chair he sat in.
"And you don't find it the least bit strange?" Willow asked. She glanced over at Anya, who was flipping through the latest Cosmopolitan with a bored expression on her face.
"Quite the opposite," Giles said, startled at her words. "I find it incredibly strange. And not to mention a little far-fetched."
"But why would Cordelia waste her time calling here if she wasn't telling the truth?" Anya spoke up. Willow and Giles turned to look at her. "And why would she tell us something about Buffy, someone she hasn't even *talked* to for seven months, that wasn't true?"
Willow quirked an eyebrow at the ex-demon's words. "That's a good point, Anya...Cordelia *doesn't* care enough to lie. Plus it's just not her style, she likes to go for the brutal truth."
Anya smiled smugly. "That's what I just said, Willow, try and pay attention."
"And, clearly, you picked up her gift of tact," the witch muttered under her breath. Anya, becoming too engrossed in her magazine, didn't hear it. "So what now, Giles?"
"I...I really don't know. Would either of you care for some tea?" he asked, standing and going over into the small kitchen. Willow smiled and leaned over the back of the couch, studying the Watcher's harried movements through the big window.
"What's wrong, Giles?" she asked.
"It's just rather hard to digest...Faith could very well being running around in Buffy's body at this very moment and we have no idea how she did it or how to change it back," he said honestly.
"Wow, I never knew that!" Anya squealed, causing the others to look at her. She pointed at an article in her magazine. "When giving oral sex, you should hum...men seem to be able to orgasm faster."
Giles nearly dropped the teapot he held in his hands and Willow started coughing. "Thanks for the...tip, Anya," she managed to choke out.
"There are a lot more here, would you like to hear them?" she asked. Willow, with a horrified look on her face to be having this type of conversation in front of *Giles* of all people, shook her head as he came back into the room balancing three cups of hot tea in his hands. He handed the girls theirs and sat back down, taking a slow sip.
"Anya, why are you here again?" he asked, his voice strained. She shot him a withering look.
"If I remember correctly--and believe me, I do--*you're* the one who invited me over. Well, you invited Xander, but I go everywhere with him so I thought I'd come along. And then he had to go fix someone's sink or something, so I was sent over here to find out what the big dilemma was," she said, flipping the page.
"It would be a lot easier if he was here," Willow admitted. "Why did he have to go and become a plumber?"
"So he can buy me nice things and take me places," Anya said flatly. Willow sighed and rubbed her temples.
"Any ideas on where to start?"
Giles stood and made his way over to the bookshelf, squinting as he read over a few of the titles. He removed one and tossed it at Willow, who caught it easily. "Look for body possession and soul-switching, I suppose. I must admit that this is a rather new field for me."
"Is Buffy with Angel?" Anya asked suddenly.
Giles nodded hesitantly. "That is what Cordelia told me...why?"
"No reason..." she said, shifting her legs under her slim body. "It's just that we all know how bad things go when they're together...either souls get lost or people nearly die..." She stopped at their looks. "I'm just saying."
"Buffy and Angel will be fine," Willow said reassuringly. "They've got a ton of self-control. I think we should be more worried about Faith and what *she's* doing at the moment."
"Don't you mean *who* she's doing?" Anya asked. The red-head sighed and closed her eyes.
"That too."
*~*
The darkened room was quiet except for the slightly-heavy breathing coming from beside her. Moonlight filtered into the bedroom, casting shadows in places that normally looked so inviting and light. The corners seemed darker, the walls closer. Faith rolled onto her side, away from Riley, and curled herself up into a ball, allowing herself a moment to reflect.
He'd been pretty good, a little on the gentle side...and he'd been loud. His moans, his cries...she hadn't been expecting it. Not that she'd let it get to her, she'd shown him what it was like to really have sex, something she knew Buffy hadn't done. She had all these muscles and little quirks that had just blown his mind...
But that hollow feeling she could never seem to shake had settled itself in the pit of her stomach and the sense that there was so much that she was missing out on crept lazily into her soul. The emotions that had always seemed to escape her, the sense of completion that some claimed they felt afterwards had managed to always elude her...she wondered briefly what they felt like.
Riley brought her thoughts back to the present when he pressed his hard chest up against her back, wrapping his arm protectively around her body and pulling her close. Faith was startled when she felt him shift and rest his chin on her shoulder, stroking the silky skin of her stomach. No one had ever showed her this tenderness, either she had split or he had been kicked out. Her body was rigid, waiting for harsh words.
"I love you, Buffy," Riley whispered into her ear, brushing his lips against her cheek.
He had just spoken the harshest words anyone could ever say.
She froze. Love? He loved Buffy? When had this happened? She'd seen them together, and even thought it had been brief she could tell it was more like companionship. Who was he kidding? This thing that they obviously shared, it wasn't love. It was like. There was even a little bit of lust. But no love.
Love was sacred. Love hurt, love made you bleed. Love made you want to sing and cry and scream all at the same time. It made you want to die, it made you want to live forever.
Riley was not in love with her sister Slayer.
She felt an anger towards this man, an anger she couldn't explain. What the hell was wrong with her, caring about Buffy like this, caring about what happened to her? Who was she to say whether Buffy was in love with this guy or not? She was supposed to be hurting the bitch, not feeling sorry for her.
And yet she did. For some reason that Faith could not comprehend, she felt sympathy for Buffy. Faith hated it. It made her feel vulnerable and weak, two things she absolutely refused to let herself feel. She felt compassion for the girl who had everything, who had nearly killed her to save her dying lover, who had put her in a coma for eight months and took away the only father figure Faith had ever known.
What Riley had just said had been a mockery of the words. Those words were something that Faith had never heard before, from anyone. It seemed oddly fitting that she should hear them while in her worst enemy's body, fitting in that way that irony always seemed to work. This wasn't love.
It wasn't love.
"No you don't," she said quietly, refusing to turn around. She felt Riley stiffen against her back.
"What are you talking about, Buffy? I just said it, didn't I?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly. She took that as her cue.
"You don't love me, just like I don't love you," she clarified, rolling over to look at him. His face was shrouded in darkness, but Faith's Slayer eyes could detect every bit of his confusion.
"But I do," he protested, leaning forward to kiss her. Faith turned her head to the side, making him miss his mark.
"You don't, Riley, believe me. I know what love is, I know what it feels like. Love is passion, love is trust, love is...knowing the other person, seeing into their soul," she said, her eyes on another part of the room. She wondered briefly at her words and where they had come from, and how she had suddenly becoming an expert on the subject at all.
"That's what we have," he said. Faith resisted the urge to laugh in his face.
"Are you kidding me? You call that passion? I've seen worms who've been more passionate when they screw," she told him. "And Riley, my boy, you really don't know me at all."
"So tell me about you," he whispered, propping himself up on his elbow. "Tell me everything about you."
"Why?" she countered. "You think that'll change anything? This is *not* love. I've felt love and this thing that we have doesn't even come near it in the least."
"Oh yeah? Who was this love with?" Riley asked, his voice angry. Faith smiled.
"With a man who knows how to please me, who knows what I want and what I need. Sorry, honey, but you just don't have what it takes."
"And who does? Some jerk who left you?"
"Yeah, actually he did leave. He left because there was no way for us to be together."
"What the hell are you talking about?" he growled, shifting away from her a little bit. The gesture was not lost of Faith. Faith met his stare with a cold one of her own, and Riley was the first to look away.
"First thing's first. The guy's name is Angel and he's a vampire," she said, her voice dripping with glee. Riley's eyes bulged out of his head at her words, his face covered in disbelief.
"A hostile? You're in love with a hostile?" Riley surprised Faith by laughing out loud. "That's a good one, Buffy."
"You think I'm kidding? Riley, I was fucking *in love* with the Scourge of Europe," she said, a sharp edge in her voice. Riley's face hardened as he fought to reject what she said.
"Who's the Scourge of Europe?" Riley asked. Faith sighed and dropped her head into the pillow.
"You really gotta learn to do your homework, College Boy," she said with wicked glee. "That's what Angel was known as before he got his soul." Riley nodded, his action seeming as though he was mocking her. Faith could tell that he was.
"Right, so you fell in love with this vampire...I *almost* believe that one. Are you feeling all right?" he questioned, bringing a hand up to check her forehead for heat. Faith pushed his hand away angrily.
"Don't touch me," she said in disgust. "You don't believe me? Just goes to show that I was right about you not loving me."
"But Buffy, I *do* love you," he whispered. Faith gave up.
"Fine," she growled, sitting up and leaning against the headboard, clutching the sheet to her chest. "Maybe you do love me. But I don't love you. I probably never will."
"Oh yeah?" he challenged. "How do you know?"
"Because I'll be in love with Angel forever and I don't have time to waste on you," Faith shot back angrily. "You and me, we'll never have that Romeo-and-Juliet-vibe working for us, the whole star-crossed lovers deal. That's what me and Angel were."
"Buffy, that's the kind of stuff in fairy tales. This is real life," he protested.
"Right, and vampires and demons are just figments of our imagination," she scoffed. "This was real, Riley, a hell of a lot real-er than whatever the hell it is that we have."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded. Faith rolled her eyes.
"Would you do anything for me, Riley? Would you get hurt for me, go to Hell for me, protect me in every way that you possibly could?" Riley was silent, leaving the question to hang heavily in the air. He didn't answer because he knew what the answer was. So did Faith. "Didn't think so. Angel did."
"So where is this amazing Angel now, Buffy? Off whoring with some new girl?" Riley asked. Faith's eyes narrowed, even as her mind fought to stop this. It was as though she really WAS Buffy, with her emotions and her feelings. And the scary thing was that Faith was enjoying it.
"He left me for some God-awful reason," she said with a shrug, ignoring the pain in her heart. Where the fuck had that come from?
"Why'd he leave?" Riley prodded. Faith resisted the urge to smack him.
"Because if I gave him one moment of true happiness he'd lose his soul for the third time and become Mr. Bad-Ass Vampire again."
"Third time?" Riley echoed.
"Yeah. First when he was turned into a vamp, then again on my birthday when we had sex for the first time," Faith informed him. Those late-night talks in the graveyard with Buffy sure were coming in handy...she had plenty of dirt on the other girl. "God, is that man good in bed. Those hands...that body...that tongue..." Faith moaned despite herself. She could just imagine what kind of a sexual god Angel was in bed with his killer body and centuries of experience. Buffy's body seemed to remember, her skin tingling with his lingering, phantom touch.
"He lost his soul because you had sex with him? That's pretty lame," Riley said with a scowl, unconsciously drawing the sheet tighter around his body.
"Lame? Oh no. Fucking incredible was more like it... I mean, the man has had over two centuries of experience, he knows just how to make a girl scream in pleasure..." Faith trailed off, lost in her own fantasies of the vampire. Yes, she had them, she *did* have eyes and a wonderful imagination, after all.
"And I can't?" he asked, his words sounding almost desperate in the dark room. Faith snickered.
"You've got a long way to go, Riley," she said, patting his leg reassuringly. "Yeah, so anyway...where was I? Oh, yeah, right at the part where I nearly killed Faith for him."
There was a thick silence in the air. Faith played idly with the sheet around her chest while Riley digested that piece of information.
"You tried to kill Faith to save a vampire?" Riley finally said, his voice dangerously low.
"Yeah, I did, is there a problem with that?" she snapped. "The bitch had it coming, she poisoned him. It seemed rather fitting that she be his cure."
"How could she be his cure?"
"A Slayer's blood was the cure." Another silence, this one colder. "But she got away, so I had to get him to feed from me."
"You let a vampire drink your blood?! Are you out of your mind?!" Riley shouted, springing out of bed and pacing around the room, his nudity forgotten. Faith stretched her legs out sinuously and chuckled at his rage.
"Yeah, I did. Had to save him, didn't I?" She reached out and tugged Riley over to the bed, bringing his hand up to touch the fading scar on her neck. "Feel that?" she asked huskily. "That's his mark."
"You're sick," Riley spat as he pulled away from her. She giggled. She'd put two and two together, knowing that Buffy had to have cured Angel with her blood. The scars on her neck must have been from him, Buffy would never let another vampire near her neck. Even if she was wrong, it certainly had managed to effectively kick Riley while he was down.
"Face it, Ry," she said, resting her arms comfortably behind her head. "You've never held a candle to him, and somewhere, deep down inside your good little heart, you've always known that." She suddenly kneeled on the bed in front of him, her voice low and husky. "You've always known that there was someone else, someone who you'd never be able to top. Now you know his name, know what he really is... How does it feel?"
"Get out," he said menacingly. When she didn't move, he took a step towards her.
"What're you gonna do, drag me out?" she taunted. "You couldn't even if you tried."
"What's wrong with you?!" he cried, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. "Is this all because of Faith? This anger, all these hurtful things, are they because she's suddenly popped back into your life?"
Faith stood and slowly made her way over to him, peering up at the man before her. Her eyes were hard and laced with ice, as was her voice when she finally spoke. "No, this has nothing to do with Faith and everything to do with us. It's just a side you've never seen, Riley, one that's always been here, right at the surface. It just took Faith to bring it out."
She abruptly stopped and stooped down to gather her clothes. She yanked the leather on hurriedly, suddenly needing to get out. He was making her sick.
"So she's what made you don the leather and act like a bitch?" he asked, his eyes on her. She pulled on her boots and marched over to the door.
"Faith would be proud of me right about now," she said with a wicked snicker. "You just don't get it, Riley, do you? There are some things that are just meant to be."
She reached for the doorknob and easily opened the door. Faith stepped out into the bright hallway and glanced back at Riley, who was conveniently hidden in the shadows.
"Buffy and Angel are one of them," she finished, finally acknowledging that they really were and that she wasn't Buffy. Riley, of course, didn't catch on. Faith left him alone in his dark room.
It wasn't until she had stepped out into the cool night air that she realized what she'd just done. She'd just *been* Buffy in nearly every sense of the word. All the emotions that she had never experienced, all the things she'd never known...she'd somehow been able to take all of the things she'd witnessed between Buffy and Angel and all the stories Buffy had told her and weave them into a tale that had broken Riley's heart and shed light on Buffy's past relationship for him.
She realized that she had hit it right on the head, captured the relationship between the vampire she loathed and the Slayer she envied perfectly. She was confused, wondering how in the world she could have possibly said all those things--all those true things--about something she herself had never known.
The thought that she could recognize that kind of love when she saw it and, on some level, yearn for it herself was beyond disturbing.
It was absolutely terrifying.
TBC…
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