Buffy drifted in and out of sleep for several minutes before her eyes fluttered and opened in half-slits. For a moment she panicked before remembering that she was at Angel's. Looking down, she saw that she was indeed in Faith's body and that it hadn't been a dream.
She also realized that she was in bed alone. The smell of eggs and buttered toast came wafting in from the kitchen, and she stretched languidly before slumping back down into the pillows. Maybe if she just stayed in bed she really would wake up and this would all just be a huge nightmare...
With a gasp she awoke fully as the memories of the predawn visit of the Oracle filtered in through the haze of sleep. She felt tears spring into her puffy eyes and hastily wiped them away, wincing at the soreness that had been caused by crying herself to sleep. Her eyes were probably all red and gross...
But maybe it had just been a dream. Maybe she had been delusional or something, and Angel really wasn't the father of her baby... She shook her head at the thoughts. She might be the queen of denial--after all, it *did* make the world go 'round--but she knew that what had happened had not been a dream.
Which made it that much more painful.
With a sigh, she pushed away the warm covers and slid out of bed, her feet landing with a soft thud on the hardwood floor. She had no idea what time it was, but by the sounds and smells coming from the kitchen it was breakfast, and she was starving.
Slipping on Angel's robe, Buffy cinched it loosely around her hips as she made her way into the kitchen. The sight before her made the Slayer stop in surprise, a flicker of amusement settling over her face.
Angel stood at the stove, carefully scrambling an egg as he watched a frying pan. She'd never seen him look so domestic, and she was surprised at how natural he looked.
"Smells good," she said as she walked over to stand next to him.
"Thanks," he replied, turning his head to look at her critically. "How do you feel?"
Buffy rubbed a hand over her eyes and smoothed out her dark hair. "You *really* don't want me to answer that." Angel smiled.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, letting it go and gesturing at the stove. She nodded.
"Starved. After months of living off bagged sugar, I'm sure Faith's body would love some eggs and toast," Buffy said, the rumble in her stomach attesting to her statement. Angel smiled and poured the scrambled egg yoke into the hot pan, watching it pop and sizzle and carefully watching the other frying pan as well.
"There's coffee in the pot," he said, gesturing at the counter. "Cordelia didn't make it so it should be okay." Angel watched her alertly as she walked over to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup, not sure of what else to say. What could he say, knowing of the situation they were now in?
"I take it she can't put the beans in and turn it on?" she teased, taking a sip after spooning several heaping teaspoons of sugar into her cup.
"Of course not, she's Cordelia. Making coffee is beneath her," Angel replied with a smile.
"You don't exactly sound thrilled to be working with her," Buffy commented, leaning against the counter and watching him just as carefully as he was her. There was a tension in the air, a nervous energy that setting both of them on edge. The small talk would do for now, though.
"She may be intolerable at times, but she's a good friend," Angel said as he spooned the scrambled eggs onto two plates just as the toast for Buffy popped. His was already buttered and sitting on his plate. He passed her the food and took his, walking over to the table and sitting down.
She joined him after getting her toast, and the next few moments were spent in silence as Buffy buttered it and they began eating. They kept glancing up at one another, waiting for the inevitable topic to come up.
After a few more tension-filled minutes, Buffy said, "So are we going to talk about what happened last night or should we just forget about that too?"
Angel's hand stopped in midair, and the fork he held in his hand wavered visibly. He shoved it into his mouth and chewed, gazing at her with nervous eyes. He swallowed it down with a swig of blood, and only years of practice allowed Buffy to keep her food down.
"What's there to say?" he asked, his voice hoarse. Buffy's eyes narrowed.
"Well, we can start with us creating a child--two, in fact--which would mean we'd have to sleep together, and you would have to be able to have children. And since I'm really *not* remembering ANY of this ever happening, I'm guessing starting at the beginning would be the first step," she snapped, the bitterness clear in her voice as she lifted a forkful of eggs and popped it into her mouth. Angel rubbed his eyes and drew in an unnecessary breath.
"Are you sure you want to hear this, Buffy?" he asked, a warning note in his voice. "It's going to upset you, and you probably won't like a lot of it. And after I tell you, there's no going back. You'll have to deal with all the pain that I do."
Buffy was silent for a moment before she spoke, her eyes locked on his the whole time, trying to gain some kind of understanding. When she finally spoke, her voice was calm and pleading at the same time. "I have to know, Angel," she told him firmly. "If what she said is true, and you really are the father of my baby, I need to know how it happened and why I don't remember it."
Angel was silent for a long time, the internal struggle going on between his mind and heart preventing him from speaking. He felt all the old pains resurface as the memories of their forgotten day washed over him, and all he could think of was their happiness and what had been taken from them.
Taken by him.
What if she didn't forgive him? What if she hated him for it? Those doubts made his heart clench in dread...he didn't know what he would do if that happened.
And yet, looking into the chocolate eyes that were not hers; into the soul that was very much her own, he knew that she had a need and, more importantly, a right to know how it was that she carried his children in the body that had been stolen from her. He ignored the burning in his eyes, a signal that tears were not far behind, and concentrated instead on the hurting and confused woman who sat before him.
When Angel finally spoke, his voice was filled with the pain that memories often bring, and the longing for what they could never have again. Buffy managed to keep her mask up as he began; something that she knew would become more and more difficult as time progressed.
"You remember coming here that day, and being attacked by the Mohra demon," he started, his words a statement, not a question. She nodded anyway, her eyes wide and her heart racing. "That wasn't the first time we'd been attacked by it."
And so he told her the entire story--from his perspective--of how he was turned human by its blood, kissing on the pier in Santa Monica, breaking the kitchen table, making love for hours, snacking in bed...his fight with the regenerated demon, and how she had come to the rescue. His visit to the Oracles, and the last painful moments they had together when he was alive. Through it all, he managed to contain his tears and keep his voice from cracking, two extremely hard tasks.
"And you said you'd never forget, and then we were right back in my office again and all you talked about was forgetting. And then I killed it and you left and I was left alone with the memories of what I'd given up," he finished, finally daring to look up from his hands.
Buffy didn't even know she had begun to cry, but tracks of hot, salty tears glistened on her cheeks as she twisted her hands on the table in an effort to not scream out at the injustice of it. Her eyes dared to meet Angel's, and she was shocked to see tears slowly tracking down his cheeks as well.
She did not remember any of the things he'd just described, and she could not even possibly begin to understand how hard it was for him to live with the knowledge that the day they had shared had technically not happened. And yet, just from his retelling of the story she felt her heart rip in two at the thought of having him like she'd always dreamed...sharing so much...and then losing him. Again. They'd had everything they could possibly want...and it had been taken away in the most selfless act she had ever heard of.
Who was she to stand between Angel and the humanity he had longed so desperately for?
And she cried for the unfairness of it, and she cried because Angel had had to deal with it all by himself. She wept for the memories she did not have, or could not find, if the Oracle was indeed telling the truth. She sobbed bitterly, for it was the only way to properly express her grief at not keeping her promise to him and at the memories she now yearned for. She could only try to picture it using Angel's descriptions...she did not remember how she had felt during it all, and it was killing her.
"Angel...you gave up your humanity for me," she whispered, her voice hoarse with the tears that persisted. Angel looked up at her, his eyes shining with tears, and the expression on his face made her burst into sobs again.
"I couldn't let you die," he said hopelessly. "I...I couldn't let you die. I love you too much..." Fresh tears poured freely down his sculpted cheeks at the soft declaration, and Buffy's body shook with sobs, a soft cry erupting from her lips.
"I love you too," she whispered just as hopelessly, her voice cracking with emotion. Seeing Angel like this, broken down and sobbing like a child, scared her more than anything. He was supposed to be the strong one. He had always been the one to comfort her, always held her when she cried. She had never seen him this upset, and it was incredibly unnerving. Buffy saw how vulnerable the experience had made him... how deeply he was affected by it, and she wanted more than anything to be able to take away his pain.
With effort, she pulled herself out of her chair. Gripping the table when she found that her legs had turned to jelly, she managed to get around it to where Angel sat in his chair. She collapsed onto his lap in a heap, her heart breaking in two as he shook against her. She needed to be close to him, she needed to feel him against her. She needed to do something, because it was too painful to just sit and watch him suffer.
Buffy wrapped her arms around Angel and held him close, her fingers running soothingly through his hair as he cried for all that had been taken and all they had had to endure. She rocked him gently, a wave of despair rushing over her. He was in so much pain...because of her... Her lips brushed across his cheek, tasting the salt of his tears, and then her cheek rubbed against his in soothing comfort before she rested her forehead against his and cried silently with him.
Alone in the apartment, they wept for all their losses.
*~*
"I don't see why we had to come here again," Anya whined as Xander dragged her along the walkway to Giles' house. "I told you what he said yesterday."
Xander said nothing as he marched up the stairs to Giles' apartment and barged in without knocking. He had to know if it was really true, and if Faith really had switched bodies with Buffy.
It would certainly explain her behavior last night.
"This silence thing is making me nervous," Anya stated as Xander knocked briskly on the door. "And angry. At least say something, you haven't spoken to me for three whole minutes!"
In response, Xander pulled her to him and kissed her fiercely. She protested for a moment, unsure of what he was doing, before kissing him in return and snaking her hands around his neck. Xander pulled away breathlessly and sighed, leaning his forehead against hers.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"For kissing me in front of Giles?" she asked, gesturing at the now-open door where the Watcher stood. "I doubt we traumatized him or anything."
"Oh no, listening to you does that just fine," Giles said, an edge on his voice. He'd gotten three hours of fitful sleep before waking once more and delving deeply into his books. To say the least, he was cranky and frustrated.
"Just because you haven't been having any orgasms lately is no excuse for you to be a grouch!" she scolded, storming past him into the room and stopping, waiting for Xander. "Xander!" she snapped when he didn't move from the doorway. "You're supposed to brush past him angrily and come comfort me!"
Xander sighed heavily and waited until Giles had stepped aside before entering and closing the door behind him. Anya was now seated on the couch next to Willow and Tara, completely engrossed in an ancient book with a stormy look on her face. Xander trudged over to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead before taking a seat himself, for the first time getting a good look at the other occupant of the room.
"Spike?! What're you doing here? Isn't it uncool for you to hang with us?" Xander asked sarcastically, eyeing the blond vampire with distaste from across the room. Spike turned away from his soap opera to smile viciously at him.
"I've missed you all," he said. "And I wanted to see little Miss I-Seem-To-Have-Accidentally-Sat-On-My-Favorite-Stake and bother the hell out of her for a little while." He lit a cigarette and took a long drag, blowing out the smoke slowly before continuing. "Plus I needed to catch up on my show. So far, I've been able to do one of those, so I'm a pretty happy vampire right now."
Giles walked by him and plucked the cigarette from his fingertips, smoothly extinguishing it. "You'd think that with vampires' major fear of fire they'd think twice about smoking," he commented as he sat heavily in his armchair.
"No one ever said vampires were smart," Xander argued.
"Hey!" Spike snapped. "How many times have I out-smarted you goody-goodies?"
"Never?" Willow piped up, a smile on her face. Spike slumped into his chair.
"I came close," he whined, taking a swig of cold pig's blood. Willow reached over and patted his arm reassuringly.
"Points for effort," she said with a chuckle.
"Are you finished?" Giles asked, taking his glasses off and wiping them in an old habit that showed he was impatient. Spike opened his mouth to speak again, but a stern look from Giles shut him up and he turned back to the television, grumbling.
"So, Anya filled me in on the Scooby session that was held last night," Xander began.
"We really should start taking minutes at those," Willow piped in. He shot her a look and she raised her eyebrow at his attitude but said nothing. Tara smiled.
"And she said that our bestest friend Buffy is now our other bestest friend Faith and that Buffy is in L.A. with her vampire Casanova," Xander said, his tone bordering on sarcastic. Giles nodded, pointedly ignoring it.
"That is the situation. I spoke to Cordelia last night and she said that somehow, using some kind of device that she later destroyed, Faith was able to switch bodies with Buffy. I don't know any other details, other than Buffy ending up at Angel's. And something about handcuffs..." he trailed off, sighing deeply and reaching for a book.
"I don't think I'm going to *ever* need to know about the handcuffs," Xander said. "Now I'm just a little confused...when you say switched, you mean what?"
"Their souls switched places," Tara spoke up, causing everyone to look at her. She blushed slightly but continued. "Faith somehow managed to take everything that makes her herself--her thoughts, her emotions, her mind--and transport it into Buffy's body, doing the same with her."
"And we don't know what she used to do it, so we don't know how to reverse it. So, research," Willow added, holding up her book in emphasis.
"Now that we all know this, can Xander and I leave?" Anya asked. "He made me horny when he kissed me and I want to go have sex with him."
"You sure do get horny easily," Spike said, his eyes focused on the television. "Your little Xand-man not satisfying you?"
"He satisfies me plenty!" she shot back hotly. "He uses his tongue a lot, and sometimes his fingers and--"
Xander reached over and clamped a hand over her mouth before she revealed the entire history of their sex life. She shot him a look and bit down on his hand. He yelped and pulled it away, rubbing the sore spot.
"You should just be glad I didn't bite something else," she snubbed.
"What, have you been taking lessons from Spike or something?" Xander retorted, glaring at the vampire just for the hell of it.
"As amusing as this is," Giles interrupted, "I do believe we have more pressing issues at hand."
"Like keeping Faith the Psycho from killing people or hurting herself?" Xander said bitterly. Spike laughed.
"I can't wait to see how the famed Scooby Gang worms its way out of this. It's better than Days of Our Lives! Not Passions, though...although I'm sure that when the bitch and the poof show up it'll rival even that," the vampire snickered.
The glares he received could have turned him to dust, had they the capability to do so. He chuckled and sat back, folding his hands behind his head.
"Does anyone feel like filling me in, or should I just stay here and be confused?" Riley asked from the door. Everyone turned to look at him, shocked to see the dark circles under his eyes.
"The Slayer a little rough with you last night?" Spike smirked.
"Can't we gag him or something?" Willow asked, giving the vampire a pointed look.
"Sorry, the door was open," Riley said as he closed it behind him and walked over to the couch. The three girls made room for him to sit down next to them.
"It's quite all right," Giles said with a wave of his hand. "I take it you got my message?"
Riley nodded. "I came over as soon as I could."
"What I'm about to tell you might not seem plausible, but I assure you it is all true," Giles warned. Riley sat back, the haunted look in his eye clear to everyone in the room. "Have you had any contact with Buffy in the last twenty-four hours?"
The commando looked at his hands for a moment before responding. "Yeah, we had contact. Lots of contact," he said, a slight blush rising in his cheeks.
"Did she appear different at all? Did she say anything that was uncharacteristic or something she would not normally?" Giles pressed. Riley nodded, looking up at the older man in confusion.
"She was...weird. Something was definitely off, I've never seen her like that. She was commanding and snobby and some of the things she did...I feel really weird discussing my sex life with you people," he admitted, the color rising in his cheeks again.
"Share, we're all friends here!" Spike said with a laugh. "How is she in the sack?"
"Did she say anything specific?" Giles asked, purposely ignoring Spike.
"She said a lot," Riley told them, glancing at each one of them in turn. "Stuff about her past that I didn't know. Stuff I don't even think is true."
Giles tore off his glasses again and stood, beginning to pace warily. "I assume Buffy has told you about Faith." Riley nodded but didn't elaborate. "Well, it seems that Faith has managed to...er, switch bodies with Buffy. She is now in Buffy's body, and Buffy is trapped in Faith's."
"What?!" Riley took a long moment to digest the information. "You mean that that wasn't Buffy? It was Faith? She...she...switched? With Buffy? She's in Buffy's body?"
"Well, I guess that proves the theory that all those commandos really are as dumb as they look," Spike muttered.
"Yeah, that's what happened. Faith is in Buffy's body and Buffy's in Faith's," Willow said, patting his arm. "I know it's hard to understand, but--"
"No, actually it explains a lot," Riley said, wiping a hand over his eyes tiredly. "Usually I wouldn't believe it, but I've seen some incredibly freaky things since I got involved with Buffy and it does seem logical. Even if I can't imagine how she did it... So all that stuff she said to me is false? And where's Buffy?"
There was a silence in the room, Willow, Xander, and Giles looking nervously at one another. What had Faith told him? And how did they explain that Buffy was in L.A. with her ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be a vampire? When no one spoke, Anya took the initiative.
"Buffy's in L.A. with Angel," she stated. "Who, by the way, is her ex-boyfriend. But don't worry, they can't screw because if they do he loses his soul."
Riley's face turned incredibly pale as he sat in complete silence. "Angel? The vampire?"
"Faith told you about him?" Willow squeaked, glancing nervously at Xander. Riley nodded once in affirmation.
"So it was true, all of it," he whispered, dropping his head into his hands. Buffy had dated a vampire. Buffy had had *sex* with a vampire. What the hell had she been thinking?! He knew the whole vampire thing was usually considered sexy, but it was a little ridiculous for a Vampire *Slayer* to *sleep* with one.
Before anyone had the chance to speak, the door opened. They turned once more to see who it was, and had to squint because of the sun that shone brightly in the courtyard. It silhouetted the thin, small figure, but there was no mistaking who it was.
"Since when is a Slayerette meeting held without me?" Faith asked with a hand on her hip, the sunlight gleaming surreally off Buffy's blond hair.
TBC…
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