Secret Habit
Author: Bekki Aebischer
Summary:This takes place after " A Roswell Christmas Carol" Max and Tess are growing closer even though Max loves Liz despite the fact that she "slept" with Kyle. Tess has feelings for Kyle. Liz acts normal around Max hoping that the pain of not being with him will go away. Little does everyone know that Liz really isn't okay. Will Liz tell Max the truth before it kills her?
Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Jason Katims and Melinda Metz. I'm just borrowing them.
Category: M/L
Part: 1
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Please email me good or bad feedback!!
Liz walked down the halls of Roswell Highschool only to see Max Evans lingering around Tess Harpers locker. Liz kept the tears from swelling up in her eyes. She leaned up against the nearest locker. Still eyeing Max and Tess. They had grown so much closer, during their venture to New York. Liz knew that Max and Tess being together was the right thing. They were meant for each other just as the future Max had confirmed. Before Liz knew it, tears began falling from her eyes. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't keep them from falling. She was so lost at that moment that she didn't hear her friends Maria and Michael talking to her.
"Liz are you okay?" Maria asked with concern.
"Um..I...I..don't know." Liz stuttered as she turns around to find herself facing Max and Tess.
"Liz ." Max said while reaching for her arm. Liz jerked away and ran down the hall towards the restroom. She locked herself in a stall, crying. "Why wont the pain just go away? I wish I could just disappear..forever."
Max looked worriedly at Maria and Michael. "What's going on? What the hell's a matter with Liz?"
Maria and Michael both looked at Max with confusion in their eyes. "Michael and I don't know. We saw her crying. So we went up to her and she just froze." Max looked in the direction of the girls bathroom. " I'm going to go after her. I have to make sure that she is all right."
Isabel and Alex walked up to Max. " Make sure who's all right?"
Max turned to Isabel. "Nothing..it's just Liz...I am concerned about her."
Isabel revolved herself around everyone. "Max come on now. Since when is Liz nothing?" Saying with a hint of sarcasm.
"I didn't say that..I mean she is..she is everything!" With that Max briskly walked towards the Girl's restroom. suddenly he stopped. A jolt of remembrance ran through his body. She had slept with Kyle. Liz didn't need him anymore and with that Max unwillingly turned around and headed to class with Liz and only Liz on his mind.
Liz heard the first period bell ring. Fear and feeling of embarrassment ran through her. Why fear? Because today she had all her classes with Max. Why embarrassment? She felt dumb for breaking down in front of everyone. Including Max. Liz cringed knowing that she had lost control. Liz knew class was starting but at that moment she didn't care.
Max sat in his 1st period class, history. He immediately noticed that Liz wasn't in class. Where was she? Throughout class Max continually kept watching the classroom door hoping Liz would come walking through the door with a smile. Her hair lightly bouncing on her shoulders with her eyes locking on his.....
"Max! Max!" Ms. Lopez repeated. "Class is over!"
Max was startled out of his daze. "Oh, umm, sorry" he murmured and then quietly left the classroom.
Max spotted Maria and ran up to her. " Hey Maria have you seen Liz?"
Maria's eyes whimpered with worry. "Wasn't she in class? Wait I thought you went after her earlier?"
"Um..no I didn't and she wasn't in class either." Max said as he looked at the ground.
"Max I am worried about her!"
He nodded in agreement. "Yeah me too."
Two hours later-
Liz stood up and left the bathroom stall to find herself facing a mirror. She stared at her reflection with disgust. "What have I done to myself?" Her hair was a mess with her eyes bloodshot form crying. Not to mention her "weight gain." No wonder why Max prefers Tess. She had already missed first and second period. Right then Liz heard the lunch bell ring. Good she thought. Now she could find Maria. Liz really needed someone to talk to!
Liz walked towards Maria's locker and luckily she was there. As Liz walked closer she realized that Maria was not alone. Max was there!! She began to turn around when she felt someone lightly grab her shoulder. Liz knew who it was. It was Max. He was the only one that made her feel that way. This time she wasn't going to lose control.
"Liz are you okay? I was worried when I saw you this morning crying and then when you weren't in any of the classes."
By now Max was already leading her into the lunch room.
"Max please. I'm fine." Liz tried to loosen his grip, but it was no use. Before she new it they were already at the lunch table. Everyone was sitting there and eying her as if she was some kind of freak.
Maria came up on the other side of Liz and offered her a sandwich. "Look it is your favorite kind. Ham and cheese." Liz began thinking of her image earlier and thoughts of how her and Max could never be together.
"I'm not hungry."
Max grabbed Liz's arm. "You need to eat and you already look tired and worn out. Not eating isn't going to help. Damn it Liz. Your worry me!"
"Max you can't be thinking or worrying about me. It's just a waste of time. You belong with Tess. We can never be. Please just forget about me altogether!"
Liz couldn't hold back her tears any longer. Damn it. She had lost control again. That had to change.
"Liz..your not making sense. I don't love Tess. I love you! I have ever since the day at the Crashdown" Max bringing his tone to a whisper. "When I saved you".
Liz looked at Max. He was crying and she was crying. "Maybe you should have never saved me then." With that Liz ran out of the room before Max could say anything.
The last period bell rang and Max gathered his things and headed to the Biology. The words Liz had thrown at him were still stinging his heart. This wasn't his Liz. Although maybe that's the way it should be. Maybe...Kyle was better for her. Max shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. He entered class only for shock to slap him in the face.
Liz was in the back corner of the room, but what was she doing? Opening a bottle and taking a large amount of the contents. The thoughts raced through Max's mind. When it all registered. He ran to Liz and grabbed the bottle. Max read the label. "Diet Pills! What the hell are you taking these for?"
Liz's face went pale. She couldn't say anything but stare."Max I umm.."
Before she could finish Max interrupted her. " Is this why you didn't eat lunch either?!" Max was now yelling." What are you doing? "
Max grabbed Liz's arm and pulled her out of class. " Max what are you doing? You cant just skip class.
Max looked at Liz."Where were you 1st and 2nd period?" Liz looked at Max. "Please just stop this. You are only making it harder."
"Why do you continue to push me away Liz? First you sleep..." Max couldn't finish.
Liz turned from Max and ran out of the building, but this time Max didn't follow.
ONE WEEK LATER. AT THE CRASHDOWN.
Michael, Isabel, Alex, Tess, Kyle, and Max were sitting at a table. Waiting for Maria to finish closing. So that they could go out for dinner. Max glared at Kyle from across the table. Kyle was all over Tess. That Max liked, but why did Kyle have to hit on Liz. Maria came out through the kitchen doors. "Hey guys we need to talk." Maria was already in tears. Michael walked over to her and comforted her. "Hey baby what's wrong" Maria looked at Michael and then the others. " It's Liz."
Max immediately stood up."Liz what about her? Is she okay? And why she been avoiding everyone for the past week?" Maria sat down and took a breath. "She hasn't been avoiding only you guys. She hasn't been talking to me either. I went upstairs a minute ago to bring her some cookies. I thought it might cheer her up. I tried to get in but her bedroom door was locked and she wasn't answering. So I went through the back door and climbed up to the roof. To get in her bedroom window. She was sleeping in shorts and a tank top and she looked so.." Maria broke down into tears. Max put his hand on Maria's."Please continue".
Maria nodded." Her body..there was hardly anything there! Her elbows and her ribs were sticking out. I don't know how she .." Maria was cut off by a noise. Everyone looked at the kitchen door. You could see the light shining under the door.
Maria looked at Max."It must be Liz." Max nodded in agreement and headed to the door , but was stopped when Liz came through the door in a jogging outfit. Max stood dead in his tracks. Maria was right. Liz looked disgusting! Max could hear the distant gasps from everyone.
Max grabbed her arm out of anger and frustration. "Where the hell do you think you're going!?" Liz looked at everyone with fear, but then regained her composure.
" I am going jogging."
Max sarcastically laughed at Liz with the anger not leaving his tone. "Like hell you are! As far as I am concerned you aren't going anywhere!!" Liz ignored Max's comment and continued to walk to the door. Max quickly grabbed her arm. Realizing there wasn't much there, Max grew angrier. "Why are you doing this?" Max keeping his tone at an angry whisper!
Before Liz could answer Kyle grabbed Liz and pulled her into a corner. " Does this have anything to do with our secret? Is the fact that you can't be with Max. Is that what's bothering you. Listen Liz I liked you a lot before and I still do as a friend." While looking at Tess. "But I have a life to and now that people think we "slept" together. I have been looked at differently especially by Tess..."
Kyle was interrupted by Max." You two didn't sleep together? Liz you lied to me? Max stood there staring. Unable to say anymore.
Liz began to say something, but the room in her eyes began to spin. Liz whimpered and pulled her hand to her forehead. Max ran over to Liz and held her. "Liz!"
Liz looked at Max and whispered help me before she crumpled into Max's arms.
Max quickly, but gently laid Liz down. Max kept telling himself to focus while tears streamed down his face. He tried to connect with her, but he wasn't able to make a connection. Max frantically looked at Isabel. "Call 911 now!" With no hesitation Isabel did just that with Alex by her side. Max continued to connect with Liz, but nothing was happening. Max cradled Liz in his arms as his body shook from his heart wrenching sobs. "Liz you cant leave me. Please don't leave me. I love you. If you die than I die!" Michael and Tess ran up to Max.
"They are here".
The paramedics made there way through. "Please son. Step aside. We will handle it from here." Max unwillingly let go of Liz. Tess pulled on Max's arm.
"It will be okay Max. I am here" Max coldly looked at Tess.
" I don't need you. I need Liz" Max brushed away from Tess and headed outside towards the ambulance.
Max walked over to the paramedic. "Please let me ride with her" The paramedic looked at Max with sympathy and nodded giving Max consent to ride with her.
Michael, and Maria hopped into her Jetta. Isabel, Alex, Tess and Kyle left in the Jeep. They followed the ambulance to West Roswell Hospital. Max sat there in the ambulance unable to do anything but cry. Then the guilt set in. Max continued thinking to himself. I should have done something sooner. I knew she was having problems, but no I turned away from her because I thought she liked Kyle. I am such an idiot. The ambulance pulled up to the hospital. The paramedics immediately opened the door to get Liz out. The others caught up with Max and they all walked to the waiting room.
Isabel could hear Max's thoughts. She walked over to Max and knelt in front of him." It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself." Max slowly raised his head and met his sisters eyes.
"How can it not? She needed my help and I turned away from her. Oh.."Max then broke down into more sobs of pain. Which within minutes so was everyone else.
The nurse went to go check on patient #24. Her name was Liz Parker. The nurse checked her chart. She was in here for an eating disorder and depression. "Oh the poor thing". The nurse examined Liz with disgust. Liz was extremely pale and thin. Beginning to leave the room the nurse heard a whimper. She whipped around to see Liz Parker flickering her eyes. "Get Dr. Rali in here now!"
Max looked up along with the rest of the guys to hear a lady screaming. Max then noticed that the lady was a nurse and she was coming from Liz's room! Max stood up nearly knocking Isabel down. "Sorry Is." He ran down the hall and peered into Liz's room. She was awake. "Liz!"
Liz turned her head to the sound of a familiar and comforting voice."Max!" Liz began crying. She was so happy to see him. The doctor began to usher Max out, but Liz screamed
" Please don't make him go! I need him here!" The doctor nodded in agreement and Max ran passed her and into Liz's arms. Max looked at Liz after minutes of hugs and kissed her on the forehead.
"Don't ever to that to me again. I can't lose you!"
"Max I am so sorry. Things got crazy but all that matters now is that I love..Ahh" Liz felt herself weakening and her head was pounding as the room began to spin.
"Liz, please don't worry about talking right now. We will figure everything out later. I love you." Max smiled and caressed her cheek.
"Max I want out of here and I want to go home" Max stunned that Liz would say that.
"No, you are staying here until you are strong and start eating normal again."
"Max what if I can't get better...what if I don't want to?"
"What! No Liz that is not an option! Max could feel the anger and frustration building up inside of him. He turned his head, facing the doctor.
"Liz I think you need to rest a little, but don't worry I will stay here. I wont leave you!"
"Okay." Max signaled the doctor to head outside with him.
"What's going on with Liz? Why wouldn't she want to get better?" Max asked angrily.
"In cases of people with eating disorders the patient has spent a long part of their life making these deadly patterns a part of their life."
Max looked at the doctor with an amount of disbelief. "So your saying she might not get better?"
"I'm saying there is a good chance that she could die!"
Max raised his hand and brushed it through his hair. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could his Liz even think of doing this to herself and then not wanting to stop? Max leaned against the wall to keep himself form falling down.
Michael saw Max and ran up to him. " Max hey buddy I think you need to sit down." Max slowly looked at Michael.
"No No I am fine. I need to think about Liz right now." Michael put his hand on Max's shoulder.
"Hey you cant help her when you are like this." Max ignored Michael's last comment.
"She could die Michael and there isn't anything I could do this time. This problem of hers isn't just physical anymore. I am scared." Max let the tears fall as he slid to the ground. Isabel and Maria ran over to Max and put there arms around him. Max held them to eye level. "This isn't just Liz's problem anymore. It's ours."
Liz woke up once again to find Max sleeping in a bed next to her. Oh how she loved him. "Wake up call" Liz could hear the nurse say in the next room. She turned to look at the clock. It was 6 A.M. Liz groaned with exhaustion. Max through off his covers and ran to Liz.
"What's wrong? Are you ok?" Liz smiled at Max. "Yeah I am fine. Just a little tired. I heard the nurse give wake up call in the next room" Before Max could say anything they heard the door open. A larger sized black woman with colored braids walked in.
"Wake...Oh well I can see you guys are already up. If you guys keep that up then you are going to put me out of a job." She said jokingly.
"Well, Miss Liz it's breakfast time. Eww and whose this fine thang?" Liz giggled.
"He is.." Max quickly chirped in.
"I am her boyfriend." Liz looked at Max and returned the smile. The nurse stood there staring and smiling.
"Okay love birds time to eat." She gave Max and Liz each there own tray. "If you need anything just ring the bell" and with that she left the room. Max looked at the trays and lifted his and Liz's tray lids.
"Hey, look pancakes and bacon and fruit. Looks good. What are you going to have first?" Liz stared at the food.
"I am not hungry." Liz began to put the lid back on the tray, but Max stopped her. "You need to eat." Liz sighed in frustration. "I said I wasn't hungry. Okay?" Max kept looking at her.
"No it's not okay. We have always compromised for eachother, but now I am going to take a stand. I am no longer going to watch you give up. You can defeat this. I have no doubt in my mind. Don't you understand. I couldn't care whether you were 900lbs. or 35lbs. I will always love and it grows for you everyday. Liz now crying looked at Max.
"There is nothing to defeat Max it's over. I shouldn't even be here. You loving me will result in Michael and Isabel's death. Who knows who else. I have already cheated death once." It's over Max.
Max lifted the tray off of his lap and reached over to Liz. "Please Liz I need to know what is going on with you. What were you talking about when you said that Michael and Isabel might die? What else is there for you to tell me?"
Liz continued to stare at the wall in tears. She didn't have any more strength to keep lying to Max. "It is so hard for me to talk about."
Max gently squeezed her hand while leaning over and kissing her forehead." You can tell me Liz." Liz nodded in agreement.
"Awhile back you came and visited me. Well not you now but a future you saying that I had to make you fall out of love with me. He said that if we stayed together that Tess would leave Roswell." Liz let out a sigh as if what she was about to say was huge. Max squeezed her hand. "Leading to the defeat of your race and mine. Max please you have to understand that I love you with all my heart, but I couldn't put the lives of Michael and Isabel at risk for the sole purpose of my selfishness." Liz couldn't say anymore. Her heart continued to break as she looked over into Max's soulful eyes.
Max leaned even closer to Liz practically hovering her. They laid there together for what seemed like hours. Neither one of them had to say anything. Their hearts were speaking loud enough. After a couple of minutes Max moved away from Liz, leaning down and picking up her tray. "Please" Max said while holding the food in front of Liz. She turned her head prepared to say no, but one look at Max made her think otherwise. Liz hesitantly smiled and picked up the fork lying on the tray. Her hand shivered while holding the fork from the food to her mouth. Not from being cold but from pure fear. Max laid his hand on her arm for support. She shut her eyes and took the first bite of rice. Suddenly flashes of pain, anger, and fear ran through her mind and heart. Max also felt what she was feeling. His body pushed away from Liz in a surprised manner. Max right then and there realized what Liz had been going through these last couple of weeks. Tears began to stream down his face.
"Oh Liz I am so sorry. I had no idea what you were going through and I am sorry for not being there for you. I have failed you as a friend, protector and a lover. Can you forgive me?" They were both in tears. Liz sat up and attempted to get out of bed to reach Max, but before she could move Max was already there as if he knew what she wanted.
"Max I love you!" Max cupped Liz's face in his hands and without hesitation leaned in and kissed her. Unlike other kisses this one was full of desire. Liz pulled back from Max and stared into his eyes. "I will get better Max."
"No Liz we will get better together." They smiled together and then simultaneously leaned in for another kiss.
Two weeks later
The door to the Crashdown swung open as Max carried Liz in. "Max you can put me down. I'm fine, really!"
Max continued to carry her up to her bedroom. "I can't help it Liz. Worrying and protecting you is something that comes natural to me. Liz, you just got out of the hospital and you're still somewhat weak. I'm not going to take any more chances. Besides you need to rest up. Maria, Michael, Isabel, Tess, Alex, and Kyle are coming over soon to see you." Liz sighed with a smile. Max laid her down on the bed. Before he could say anything Liz reached out wrapping her arms around Max's neck and pulling him down onto the bed with her. Max obviously surprised began to speak.
"Liz", but was cut off by Liz softly pressing her lip to his. Max willingly repaid the gesture, but with much more force. Liz moaned as Max began kissing with more passion. After several minutes Liz pulled away, but only to the point where she could meet his capturing eyes. Liz smiled.
"My hero!" Max lightly pushed aside a long brown strand off Liz's hair that laid across her face.
"No I believe you're the one that rescued me. They both smiled taking eachother's lips.
The sequel coming soon" Broken Promises"
