The whole week was much of the same. Kayce obeyed Rudy’s orders to remain in bed except to use the bathroom. One day as he prepared a bath for her Steve surprised her by reaching into the cabinet and retrieving some bubble bath. She stood in the doorway wearing her robe, arms folded across her stomach and chuckled, “I didn’t realize Air Force Colonels pampered themselves with bubble baths. Maybe I should alert the media.”

He looked at her surprised, “I don’t take bubble baths,” He said defensively.

She toyed with him wanting to see him blush, “Then that must have been left behind by a lady friend.” The redness creeped up his neck to his ears and she giggled softly as he quickly turned away to pour two capfuls into the running water.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Like what?” She asked.

“I don’t know. Whatever women use in the bathtub…candles…magazines…?”

“No I’m fine, just the bubbles thanks.”

As Steve took a step to exit, she took an awkward step in the same direction attempting to get out of his way. They suddenly stood, blue eyes locked on blue eyes, for several seconds. Steve’s mind suddenly held the picture of her smooth bare skin covered in luxurious bubbles, her naked body submerged in the hot water.

Kayce’s mind, on the other hand, flashed a different scene with a similar idea, a picture of his tanned muscular body sharing the bath and bubbles with her.

Steve finally broke the silence and eye contact, excusing himself to get a cold drink. Kayce shook the unwanted thought from her mind wondering where it came from.

Steve fell into a deep sleep with thoughts of a beautiful sandy-haired, blue-eyed pilot drifting through his head. It wasn’t long into the night that the delicate, feminine face in his dream turned into the droopy, aged face of Jeffery Dolenz. His eyes began to travel back and forth behind his closed eyelids while a cold sweat fell upon his face. He sat up with a start, feeling trapped and unable to escape from the gruesome acts being done to him, his breathing coming in pants. His eyes searched his surroundings until he found something familiar to center him. Sliding his long frame into a sitting position on the edge of the bed he wiped the perspiration from his face feeling the headache starting to build. Taking a deep breath he quietly ambled into the living room hoping not to wake his guest.

Kayce heard soft footsteps passing her door. She had been unable to sleep the past few hours. She listened closely and heard the clink of a glass. Donning her robe she entered the living room to find the shirtless man sitting forward in a chair, his forearms resting on his pajama-clad thighs, his eyes staring unseeing into the glass of whiskey he held in his slightly unsteady hands.

“Steve?” He didn’t respond. “STEVE.” She stated more forcefully causing his eyes to come up to meet hers. “Everything okay?” She glanced at his choice of beverage at 3 am.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He tipped his head back and downed the moderate amount of amber liquid before standing. Kayce wondered if she should dig under the lie he just told but she chose to wait. She watched as he poured another and downed that one just as swiftly before turning to face her.

“Sorry I woke you.” He knew she needed her rest.

“You didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep.” He gave her a weak grin wondering if he should believe her.

He eyed the empty glass before deciding he had enough and said quietly, “I have to see Rudy today. Will you be okay here by yourself for a few hours?”

She nodded affirmatively and stepped in front of him suddenly seeing the tiredness in his eyes. This was obviously not the first night he had lost sleep. She felt the guilt envelope her. In her recovery she had not seen him struggling to deal with the aftermath of Dr. Dolenz.

“Steve, I…I just want to thank you for taking care of me this past week. I really do appreciate you springing me from that hospital.”

“No problem.” He said simply as he stepped around her and returned to the bedroom, needing to be alone. He closed the door quietly behind him. She stared at it and wondered what was going through his head.

Rudy sat patiently watching Steve stand stiffly at the window and stare out into the clear day. His patient hadn’t said anything other than a curt greeting since he arrived ten minutes ago. The doctor decided to break the ice knowing Steve hated psychological sessions even though he knew they were the only way he could work through the post traumatic stress.

“So how’s Kayce?”

Steve shot a raised brow over his right shoulder at the older man. “Fine, she’s getting stronger everyday. In fact she hasn’t needed the usual afternoon nap for the past three days.”

“Any change in her behavior?”

Steve replied in a distant tone watching the wind blow through the trees across the street, “No, not really.”

“How are you sleeping?” Rudy asked, already knowing the answer after seeing all the visible signs of lost sleep.

“Not great. The dream comes back every night.” He said plainly.

“Does it always stay the same?” The doctor asked hoping to get his evasive patient to elaborate.

“No…. it’s progressed.” He whispered.

“What do you mean?”

Steve continued to stare into the distance, his mind reviewing the horrible scenes, becoming unsure which were actual memories and which were just remnants of his nightmares. He took a deep breath, “At first it was just Dolenz, you know, poking and prodding trying to figure out how the circuitry worked. I wake up when the saw cuts through my arm.” He stopped and closed his eyes trying to drown out the sound of the power tool.

“And now?” Rudy inquired.

Steve began pacing. “Last night Dolenz was there with this fascinated look on his face. He took the arm just like all the other times but he didn’t stop there.” Wiping a hand over his face he struggled to continue and Rudy just remained silent.

“He took off my legs as well.” Steve gave his friend and confidant a quick glance before seating himself on the front of a chair, his chin resting in his clasped hands, his eyes staring at the floor.

“Is that it?” The doctor could tell it wasn’t by Steve’s body language.

Steve nodded and sighed heavily. “He took the saw to my left arm and…”

“And?”

“And it was bionic too.” Rudy heard the ragged exhale and knew this nightmare shook Steve more than the others. “Then…then he sliced into my chest…” Steve clamped his eyes shut as a chill ran down his spine.

“What happened then?” The doctor queried in a soothing voice.

“Wire and electronic components were exposed.” He replied in a quiet tone and Rudy understood but wanted to be sure.

“How did that make you feel?”

Steve let a spontaneous grin cross his face at the patented psychological question and almost snickered out loud as he stood to make short treks across the carpet. The doctor ignored his patient’s response and waited for the answer.

“Rudy, I don’t feel human anymore.” The physician swallowed hard not having heard those words from Steve since his bionic reconstruction. Steve turned and looked at his silent friend. “I’m afraid I won’t ever again.” His words came out strained and desperate.

Rudy thought for a moment trying to remember what brought Steve back to the land of the living the last time. He knew it was a topic of a session a few years ago. He reassured his patient, “You felt the same way after your plane crash and you were able to get through it right?”

Steve took his position at the office window and became lost in the past remembering what finally made him feel human again…her name was Tamara. He allowed his warm feelings for her to sooth his soul. She was woman he would never forget. His face slowly fell remembering how she was tortured and killed all because she gave him information to complete his mission.

The younger man turned and saw the knowing look on Rudy’s face. He just shook his head. “I know what you’re thinking and it won’t work Rudy.”

“Why? It seems like the perfect solution.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“There are many reasons why so just let it go. Okay?” Rudy conceded with a nod of his head. “Are you able to fall back to sleep after waking from the dream?”

“Sometimes after a few hours. Sometimes a few stiff drinks do the trick.” He gave Rudy a lopsided grin.

“So why haven’t you been taking the sleeping pills I prescribed?”

“Because I hate the side effects. Besides what if Kayce needed me and I’m out cold. No thanks.”

Rudy adopted a serious tone and sat forward in his chair, “Something’s got to give Steve. Maybe its time to send Kayce home.” Rudy was testing the waters and got the reaction he was hoping for.

“NO. I mean… not yet. You said 10 days and it’s only been eight.”

“Fine.” The doctor sat back and relaxed, “But you need to find a way to relax and get some sleep.”

Steve just nodded and stood to leave, “I will.” He replied as he headed out the door. Rudy was anxious to see how the next two days would unfold.

Steve was still un-nerved by his feelings when he returned home. Kayce was sitting on the couch reading a magazine when he arrived. She immediately picked up on his uneasiness. “How’s Rudy?” She asked to break the ice.

“Fine.” He replied as he removed some lunchmeat and condiments from the refrigerator then threw a loaf of white bread on the table. “Hungry?” She nodded as she made her way to the kitchen. They prepared their lunch in silence, which she broke when they sat down.

“Steve, are you having trouble sleeping?” He gave her a raised brow and retorted, “Why do you ask?” He did not realize how much his tiredness was showing.

She smiled at him. “Because you look like something the cat dragged in.”

“Are you hoping to psychoanalyze me Dr. Myers?” She didn’t respond. Steve let out a sigh of frustration and lost his appetite. There was too much on his plate both literally and figuratively.

She watched him stand to place his uneaten lunch back into the refrigerator. “Talk to me Steve, maybe I can help.” He looked at her knowing she had enough to deal with on her own.

“Kayce I just spent an hour with Rudy. I think that’s enough for today.” He closed the refrigerator and exited the room. She followed him and tried again, “Steve maybe I understand more then he does.” He spun and locked eyes with her but he couldn’t find the courage to tell the woman he loved all the thoughts filling his head, that he didn’t feel human anymore, that he felt his mechanical parts were taking over and dominating his body, that he was an experiment and he always would be…a prototype… a weapon. It was a known fact that he was listed in the US Government’s weapons catalog. He even had a catalog number assigned to him, a capital asset.

Kayce could see the internal struggle as it progressed. “Steve we’re friends right?” He nodded and relaxed a little. “Then why can’t you tell me how the Dolenz experience is making you feel less human?”

His eyes turned steely blue at her accuracy but he didn’t respond. She stated softly, “I do understand. I hope you know that.” He turned from her and went into his bedroom, his emotions getting too difficult to handle in his tired state.

Kayce returned to the couch with her magazine but couldn’t seem to concentrate on the words. After an hour she quietly knocked on Steve’s bedroom door and slowly opened it. Seeing him sprawled out fully clothed on his bed asleep made her feel a little better. She stood over him, eyeing the relaxed features. She wondered how long it would be until she could feel any emotion again. Would it be too late for them? She hoped Rudy would clear her to return home soon. She felt her presence was just making things more difficult for Steve.

The rest of the day the two friends stayed to themselves, each trying to heal. That evening Kayce couldn’t sleep, she was suddenly feeling an unexpected sense of panic at being sent home alone, making her emptiness all the more overwhelming. She slid into her robe and tiptoed into the kitchen unaware that Steve was wide-awake also.

He heard the faucet run in the kitchen and wondered if Kayce was okay. He walked into the living room to find her staring out the large window, her arms tightly folded across her stomach. He sighed feeling helpless as to how to help her and knew he was running out of time. He was afraid she would be going home soon and in a moment of weakness harm herself. He was beginning to resign himself to the fact that Rudy’s plan had failed, Kayce’s shell remained un-cracked.

As he stepped quietly behind her she saw his reflection in the glass and he in turn saw hers, she was crying. He knew she had yet to release the immense grief over the loss of her limbs. He slid his strong arms around her and was surprised when she only stiffened but did not pull away. “Kayce?” He whispered into her ear and she closed her eyes suddenly feeling safe in his embrace. Without realizing it she leaned back into him. He felt her sigh heavily. “Want to talk?”

She replied in a soft voice, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“How about how you feel about everything that’s happened to you?” She smiled inwardly wishing she could. The occasional tear ran silently down her cheeks but she didn’t respond. “Kayce I want to help you but I don’t know what else to do.”

She relaxed her arms and rested them on his forearms that held her waist. She was terrified what monsters would come to the surface should she beckon. He could tell what was going through her head. “Let it out Kayce. I’m here. It’s okay.” Her head screamed for her to run away from him but her heart was tired, so very tired, of working overtime to keep the emotions at bay. For the first time in the months since her accident she made a conscious choice to give in and surrender.

She turned in his arms and looked into his blue eyes. He noticed hers were still dull and empty, the spark was still absent. He reached up and used his thumbs to wipe the wetness away from her soft skin. She still didn’t utter a word and he wondered what else to do that would encourage her to open up.

Steve’s voice was so honest and sincere she couldn’t ignore the feelings behind them. “I love you Kayce. I don’t know what else I can do to convince you I’m telling you the truth.” He was disappointed when she remained silent, her eyes leaving his to fall upon his bare chest. She took a deep breath and said plainly as the tears returned, “Show me” in the faintest whisper. He wasn’t sure his ears heard her correctly and he raised an eyebrow while lifting her chin to see her face.

“What?” He asked softly in disbelief.

“Show me.” She requested again. He did hear her correctly and his shock was evident in his expression. He never expected to hear those words come from her mouth.

He pulled her close allowing her to rest her head on his chest. Tightening his embrace he whispered back to her as his hand rubbed her back, “I don’t think that’s a good idea Kayce, considering you are still recovering from a gunshot wound.” He took a deep breath not believing he was passing up such an opportunity. Even though it might help him recover from his nightmares he refused to put his needs before hers. She was in such a delicate emotional state he had to tread carefully.

“Please.” The simple word that left her mouth was so desperate and sad he was forced to reconsider. He leaned back and stared into her dark eyes still unsure how to proceed. He leaned in and placed a tender kiss on her soft, pink lips. It was such a simple gesture but one that he had longed for ever since she returned the engagement ring months ago.

She waited, hoping he would continue. She didn’t have to wait long as held her close and kissed her deeply, enjoying her sweet taste. She gratefully returned the affection but it was only a physical response, her heart still remained empty. She wondered if going through with this would just be leading him on.

After a few moments of passionate kissing Steve stopped to catch his breath. He held Kayce to his chest and felt her heart racing in time with his. There was a knot growing in his stomach, fearful that he might hurt her either emotionally or physically.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked in a husky voice needing to be assured that this was what she wanted. Kayce was not worried. She gazed into his eyes, fighting her tears and tried to make him understand.

“Steve I need this. I have tried everything I can think of to feel something, anything again. I can’t go on living like this. I just can’t.” She gave him a weak smile, “I know what you’re thinking but you can’t damage me emotionally when there’s nothing there.” She placed a hand on his handsome face, “I know what I’m asking is a lot, especially after the way I’ve treated you the past few months but Steve I trust you…you once held my heart and I’m hoping you can help me find it again. It will be okay, trust me.” She choked out convincingly even though she was terrified what emotions it would set free or worse, it wouldn’t unlock the door and release her spirit.

He held her in a tight embrace, uncertainty swirling around the pair like a tornado. Steve was having difficulty believing this was the right thing to do and Kayce knew he was wavering. The emotionally desolate young woman didn’t know what to do to convince him it would turn out okay, at least it couldn’t make anything worse. She felt like the end of her rope was near and she was running out of possible solutions. She pulled back and locked eyes with him whispering her final plea, “Please Steve don’t make me beg.” He stared into her dark blue eyes, the tears making them look like pools of ocean water. His resolve melted and she felt him take a long deep breath before giving her a small crooked grin, knowing there was nothing he could deny the woman he loved so deeply.

Without a word he gracefully swept her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom. Setting her back on her feet the tie of her robe became undone as he returned his lips softly to hers, using them to fan the spark into a steady flame. His skillful hands, which were resting on her delicate jaw line, slowly slid down her long neck to her narrow shoulders and simultaneously slid both the straps of her nightgown and robe off her shoulders. As they fell quickly down her lean figure to the floor she returned his kisses enthusiastically. Kayce blindly undid the drawstring of his cotton pajama pants leaving them crumpled at his feet while his wandering mouth continued its work, building the flame to a healthy fire. He settled her onto the bed and joined her.

The heat and friction between them brought the fire to an all-consuming blaze until the wildfire swiftly culminated in an explosion of more pleasure, emotional release and clarity that neither Steve nor Kayce ever expected.

But the instant the carefully built blaze was extinguished Steve saw the tears falling unceremoniously from her closed eyes, down her temples onto the pillowcase. “Did I hurt you?” He asked in a soft whisper, repositioning himself next to her.

She just nodded negatively. “Are you okay?” He asked with a concerned look on his face. She nodded affirmatively bringing her hands up to cover her face, unable to say a word. The quiet random tears slowly turned into a steady stream. Steve was beginning to think their experience did not have the positive affect she was hoping for. Watching her sadness develop into uncontrolled crying that racked her slim body he suddenly realized what was happening to her and slid his loving arm under her shoulders. The dam had been broken and even though it was what she desperately needed Steve was having a difficult time watching it.

Rolling onto his back he pulled her close as her crying escalated into sobs. His heart ached as her body shuddered against his with each breath. They lay like that for two hours until she fell into an exhausted sleep. He lovingly kissed her head and he too fell into a restful slumber, still holding her close.

The bright noonday sun was shining into the bedroom and woke Steve out of his first uninterrupted sleep in weeks. He looked down at the pretty woman at his side. Neither one had moved all night, not wanting to break the emotional and physical bond they shared. He wondered if he would find the real Kayce when she awoke.

She stirred and he eyed her with a smile. “Good morning,” he whispered but she just sighed without waking. Gingerly slithering out from under her he grabbed a quick shower and started the coffee. Returning to the bedside she awoke to the wonderful aroma of the fresh brew.

“Mmmm…that smells great.” She complimented in a tired voice, noticing he was already showered and dressed. He smiled as he handed her the warm mug. After watching her take a careful sip of the hot beverage he took the ceramic mug from her and placed it on the nightstand. Leaning forward he placed an outstretched arm on each side of her, stared intently into her sapphire eyes and gave her a grin. The handsome man leaned even closer and said, “It’s good to see you again, it’s been months.” He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She looked at him confused. “Steve you’ve seen me almost everyday since my accident.”

He shook his head to the contrary, “No, I’ve seen your body everyday but this morning I see you, body and spirit.” He kissed her again as she smiled.

“I don’t know how to thank you for last night.” She suddenly felt uncomfortable thinking she had been selfish talking him into the situation.

He lowered his gaze to the blanket on the bed and felt the need to confess, “Kayce I think you helped me as much as you think I helped you last night.” His eyes came up to hers and she had a confused look on her face. He explained what he had been going through recently and that was why he was so hesitant last night, wanting to be sure he wasn’t putting his needs above hers. The pretty young woman smiled, grateful that she was so instrumental in pulling him back to the human race. “I guess it worked out for both of us then.” She gave him a dazzling white-toothed smile, which he generously returned.

“Any requests for breakfast?” He asked. She nodded reassuring him anything would be fine. He stood and left her to rest. She lay there, curled up under the sheets, wondering how long it would take for their relationship to pickup where it left off before her accident.

Soon the amateur chef reentered the room with a tray of food and placed it on her lap after she sat up. He couldn’t keep the grin from his face seeing the sparkle back in her blue eyes. She thanked him for the meal and he asked her to wait, he forgot something and ran from the room.

She waited patiently until he came back with a rose in a small crystal vase and placed it on the tray. When she placed the juice glass to her lips she saw the sparkling ring nestled in the petals of the rose. She giggled and relaxed into the pillows. “You are definitely one of a kind Steve Austin.”

“That’s what they tell me.” He chuckled. “Well?”

“Well what?” She teased him.

“I don’t make it a habit of proposing to the same woman more than once but I’m willing to make an exception.” He took the ring from the flower and held it out. “Kayce will you do me the honor of becoming my wife because I will just die if I have to live my life without you.”

She returned his smile, “I think that can be arranged.” Holding out her left hand he slid the adornment onto her ring finger. They kissed and sealed the deal. When Kayce left the room to shower Steve lounged on the bed picking at the morsels she left on her plate feeling thankful for last night, the memories still fresh in his mind. He lay there with his hair still wet from his shower and was suddenly shaken from his thoughts by the doorbell.

Looking through the peephole he chuckled seeing Rudy on the other side. Opening the door he welcomed his friend, “Good morning Dr. Wells!” He stated enthusiastically. Rudy was surprised by Steve’s restful appearance and energy level. He eyed his bare feet and damp hair. “Did you just get up?”

“Yes why?” Steve suddenly realized it was almost noon. “Oh, well, we got to sleep late.”

”We?” Rudy prodded and Steve nodded guiltily. “I guess that explains why Kayce never showed up for her appointment with me this morning.”

Steve closed his eyes disbelieving he forgot all about the appointment. “Sorry Rudy we slept later than we planned.”

Rudy was enjoying Steve’s flustered demeanor and chuckled, “It’s okay both of you probably needed the rest. Is everything is okay?”

“Yeah everything is great.”

“Really?” Steve nodded as Kayce, not bothering to dry her hair or put makeup on, made her way into the living room wearing jeans and a tee-shirt, coffee mug in hand.

“Hi Rudy!” She gave him a brilliant smile that put his heart at ease. There was no doubt that Kayce was back to her old self. “Hi Kayce, how are you feeling?” The doctor caught the subtle glance between the two. “Fine.” She replied then headed into the kitchen to refill her cup. Rudy turned to Steve who whispered, “Don’t say it Rudy.” The warning came with a sly grin.

“Say what?”

“The old ‘I told you so’”

“Okay I won’t tell you ‘I told you so’.” He assured Steve with a smile and headed to the kitchen to get some coffee. “But I was right wasn’t I?” He whispered and Steve nodded. Rudy chuckled, “That’s why I’ m the doctor and you’re the rocket scientist.”