Early Monday morning, the Stockton-bound train pulled in at the station. Dozens of passengers began alighting from the wagons.

Eugene climbed down the family’s private cart with a piece of luggage, looked both ways in search of his mother. He weaved his way through the bustling crowd, craning his neck out to catch a glimpse of Victoria. She blended in the background, standing by the Station Master’s office. Eugene recognized her trademark poise she adopted in times of crisis.

He quickened the pace towards her. They fell into each other’s arms. Eugene gave her a bear hug, clawing his fingers into her back. She gently stroked the back of his head.

“Mother, I couldn’t believe it when I received Jarrod’s telegram.”

“I know.”

“How did he die?” Eugene inquired, disengaging from their embrace.

Victoria winced slightly and said drearily,” You don’t want to know.”

Entwined in each other’s arms, they started walking to the carriage waiting to take them home.

“I barely knew him. I should have spent more time at home.”

“He often talked about you.”

“Did he?”

“Heath was very proud of his scholar brother.”

“I may be knowledgeable about certain subjects but when it came to horses and numbers, he was unmatched.”

“True.”

“How are you all bearing up?” Eugene asked squeezing Victoria’s shoulder.

“We’re managing, except Nick. He’s taciturn and very withdrawn.”

“That’s to be expected, he was the closest to Heath.”

“That‘s what worries me.”

“Mother, you don’t think”...”

“No, no, no...,” she interjected, tapping him on his back to ease his worries. On a brighter note, she asked, “Did you bring Audra’s present?”

“I did but...are you sure about this party? Heath dying on her birthday is not what she’d consider a reason to celebrate.”

“Reaching twenty is a milestone in a girl’s life. We simply cannot disregard it.”

“But it’s so soon.”

“I’m merely asking you to wear a happy face and show your sister that we care as much about her than we do other members of this family.”

They arrived at the buggy and stopped. Victoria cupped Eugene’s chin in her hand and asked, “Can you do that for me?”

Eugene closed his dewy eyes and bit his upper lip in an effort to contain his mixed feelings. Finally he nodded.

She clasped his face in both hands and kissed him on the lips. “That’s my boy!”

He took a few seconds to steel himself before assisting Victoria up the carriage. He sat next to her, took the reins and whipped the horse into a steady amble.

The next morning, a funeral cortege of mourners filed in a rhythmic hoofbeat. Nick led the procession on Coco behind a buckboard carrying the casket. Feet off the stirrups and dangling on either side of his horse’s flanks, Nick was lost in a chaos of events that whirled in his mind. Although accompanied by family and friends, he was mentally plowing a lonely furrow through the fields and up the hill to his brother’s final resting place, the burial of his hopes and dreams.

The assembled company dismounted. Jarrod, Nick, Eugene and Ciego went to the wagon and slid the casket off the back. The four bereaved pallbearers carried the mortal remains to the interment plot where a deep hole had been hollowed out. After carefully looping the coffin with ropes, they lowered it down into the ground and began shovelling dirt over it until the pit was completely filled up.

As they covered the spot with stones, Nick’s mind retrogressed to Audra’s gruesome account of how Heath’s legs came to be severely crushed. He dropped the rock and recoiled in horror, short-winded.

Jarrod took Nick’s arm. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Nick heaved. He inhaled deeply to regain his composure and resumed his heartwrenching task.

Victoria and Audra exchanged worried looks.

Eugene laid the last stone on top of the heap and took his place by his family.

Victoria tucked her arm into Nick’s and both clung to each other. She could feel the shivers coursing through his ragged body and sensed that he was ripping apart at the seams.

In a deafening silence, they listened to the Minister delivering his panegyric.

“We were all blessed to have known and loved this young man. Heath touched our lives in many blissful ways. Today we are all gathered to bid a last farewell to this wonderful boy who parted from us far too soon. Death has removed him from our midst, but we know, O Mighty God, that you will welcome Heath Thomson Barkley into your noble kingdom where life is eternally peaceful.”

Overcome by emotions, Nick grasped Victoria’s arm to avoid collapsing.

The Minister continued,” We pray that with that knowledge, the family and friends he left behind will find comfort. Erase from their minds the memory of this unspeakable tragedy and instead, help them remember the happier days, time when Heath graced this lifetime.”

Closing his prayer book, he finished, “ He will now dwell in the house of the Lord forever...and ever. Amen.”

“Amen,” the company joined in concert.

Once the eulogy over, Audra laid a handmade wreathe over her brother’s grave. She hunkered down and sussurated,” You save me that dance.”

She returned to her mother and both hugged.

The aggregation began scattering, walking back to their respective mounts. The Barkleys remained clustered around one another, their eyes dwelling on Heath’s tomb.

Nick disengaged from the group hug and went to Coco. He reached for a wooden cross in his saddlebag and walked back to the burial site where he hammered it into the ground as a temporary tombstone. In a crouched position, he straightened the cross.

Enfolded in Jarrod’s arms, head buried in his chest, Audra wept as he supported her away. Eugene followed.

Victoria rested her hands on Nick’s shoulders. “Are you ready to go, son?”

Nick shook his head. “I want to stay a little longer.”

“Okay.” Victoria doubled up and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t stay too long. We need you home,” she said, resting her head against his.

She mounted her horse and ambled away with her two sons and daughter, leaving Nick behind.

“Here we are,” Nick sighed, glancing over the meadow. His face slowly puckered up as he gasped out,” I miss you, Brother.”

He stood up and walked the grounds, soaking up the atmosphere. “You were cut down in your prime. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with you gone.” He stopped walking and looked skywards.” Do you have any idea how much you meant to me?”

He sat on his haunches to pick up a flower. He twirled the stem between his fingers and pondered.” Mother’s set her mind on giving a birthday party for Audra. How am I going to get through this? Does she expect us to act as if nothing happened?”

A nervous giggle escaped the grieving man as Heath’s lecture resounded in his mind. “I hear you, Little Brother. Your silence always spoke louder than words.”

He lifted himself up. Heath stood behind him, smiling at his beloved brother.

Nick bestrode Coco. He tugged at the reins and cast a last melancholic look at Heath’s tomb and said,” It’s not goodbye, it’s see ya later.”

Nick pricked Coco into a canter. Heath watched him as dismay stole over his face. “Sooner than you think, Brother Nick.”

Two days passed by. On this auspicious occasion, while the others were donning their best attires and sprucing up for Audra’s birthday celebration, Nick was cloistered in his room. Still wearing his dirty work clothes, minus the boots, he was sprawled on his bed, staring vacuously at the ceiling. He sought refuge in a faraway place, isolating himself, and gradually letting his mind regress to an earlier mental state.

Victoria knocked on the door. “Nick, are you in there?”

“Yeah, come on in.”

She entered, looking gracefully radiant in her elegant evening gown. “Nick, you’re not ready,” she exclaimed.

“I can’t, Mother. I just can’t do this,” Nick confessed, clenching his teeth.

“Yes you can.”

"No. Please don’t ask me to go down there,” he supplicated with a glassy stare.

“As painful as it is, we must move on. Your brother would have agreed with me.”

“Are you sure? If roles were reversed, if you had died instead of him, do you honestly think Heath would....”

Arms crossed against her chest, she raised her eyebrows. Her answer was glaringly obvious.

“Yes, I guess he would have,” he conceded.

Victoria sauntered up to Nick and ran her fingers through his tousled hair. “Wash up and put on your best suit. We’ll wait for you downstairs.” She laid a peck on his forehead.

With a flounce of her long skirt, she exited the room.

As Nick sat in his bed, he was struck by vertigo. He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. The attack eventually passed. He then slowly got up and began combing his hair.

Minutes later, as Nick descended the grand staircase, sounds of muffled laughs wafted up the stairs. He stopped halfway, garnering up enough strength to conceal his anguish.

Jarrod, Eugene, Audra and Victoria were gathered in the living room. Victoria established Nick’s presence in a sidelong glance.

“Nick.” Victoria walked up to her son with arms outstretched. “Come join us,” she invited, taking him by the hands.

“I hear some girl is turning twenty,” he teased.

“That would be me.”

They hugged.

“Happy big two 0, Sis.”

“Thanks, Nick.”

They unclasped and he started admiring her blue dress.

“So this is the famous dress?”

“You like it?” she asked, flauntingly whirling around.

“You look bewitching.”

In the background, holding an expensive bottle of champagne, Jarrod was busy removing the silver foil from the cork.

“Anyone for champagne?”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

A loud popping sound resonated and champagne fizzed out of the bottle. Jarrod hurried and filled up five champagne glasses. Each took one and raised them in a toast.

“To Audra’s twentieth.”

The clung glasses and each took a sip.

“Hum, this is good champagne,” commented Victoria.

“It ought to be for fifty dollars a bottle.”

Nick nearly choked on his drink. “ Fifty dollars?” he coughed.

“I was saving it for a special occasion.”

“Hey, how does it feel to be twenty?” asked Eugene.

“Old.”

“Wait till you’re thirty,” expressed Jarrod.

“Yeah,” Nick raised his glass. “ To the thirty-three-year-old relic,” he wisecracked.

“Gee, thanks, Nick.”

“Do you want to open your presents now?” Victoria offered to her daughter.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Eugene picked up his gift and handed it out to Audra. She excitedly ripped open the package and gaped wide-eyed at the parchment stationery with matching envelopes.

“I’m hoping you’ll write me more often.”

Audra wound her hand around Eugene’s neck and gave a sisterly peck on his cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcomed.”

Nick stepped up to the birthday girl and offered her his present.

“Happy birthday. I hope you like it.”

“I have no doubt.”

Nick was never keen on ceremonials. His package consisted of plain brown paper wrapping sealed with a string. A pair of down-adorned pink slippers caught her eyes. She gazed at her brother with a meaningful smile.

“The others were kind of worn out. I was tired of your shuffling,” he jested with an elfish wink.

Audra folded Nick in a soul-stirring embrace. He sensed that her effusion extended beyond mere gratitude. Eyes tightly shut, he whispered, “ Stop or you’ll get me started.”

Audra pulled back, complying with her heavy-hearted sibling’s plea.

An air of gloom descended upon the room. Jarrod broke the ominous silence by placing his gift in Audra’s hands. An exquisite turquoise shawl. She admired the fine needlecraft in complete awe. She was speechless. Jarrod unfolded it and mantled her shoulders with it.

“And just the right color for your dress,” Victoria emphasized.

Audra gave Jarrod a heartfelt hug. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

Victoria presented her daughter with a tiny felt box. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it.”

Audra gingerly opened the box inside which was a priceless cameo.

“That family heirloom belonged to your grandma Barkley.”

“But I thought it was lost?”

“Mrs. Caroline Anderson, her cousin, informed me she had stumbled upon it at the bottom of a dusty old chest.

“That’s why you insisted on going to Rosedale?”

“Guilty.”

Nick was suddenly taken queer. He plodded up to the fireplace and held on to the hearth. The word “Rosedale” rehatched nauseating images from the innermost recesses of his mind. At eye level, he stared at a family picture.

“You know...that dress is still missing something,” Victoria commented, reaching for the black velvet box on the table. She handed it over to Audra.

“It’s from Heath.”

Their heart sank. Audra took the square box into her trembling hands. She stared at it, striving to mustard up the courage to peek inside.

“Open it,” her mother encouraged, giving her arm a light squeeze.

Audra couldn’t contain her tears when she saw the pearl necklace she had hankered for in the Rosedale dress shop.

“Heath said this was a highly coveted item.”

Audra was all choked up. She simply nodded.

Nick’s churned emotions spewed out in a gush of anger.

“This is insane! What are we doing here?” he barked, storming out of the house.

“Nick!” Jarrod shouted, ready to follow his brother.

Victoria grabbed Jarrod’s arm. “Don’t! Leave him be. He needs to be alone.”

Nick scrambled to find a place to abate his grief. He opted for the peaceful ambiance of the stables. He dashed in, flinging the doors open. He lurched along, arms tightly clasped around his body, his head throbbing and heart racing.

When the throes of agony became too much to bear, Nick slumped to his knees and broke down. “I can’t go on like this”, he wailed, eyes streaming. “Please, help me,” he implored the dearly departed.” Please...help me.”

Audra edged up to her devastated brother. “Nick.”

“Audra, please...go away.”

“I need your help too, Nick.” Tears sprang in her eyes. “ Heath died because of me.”

Nick turned to her and staggered to his feet, sniffing back his tears. “What are you talking about?”

“He was trying to protect me when they....when they....” Her voice faltered as she dissolved into tears.

Nick enfolded her in his arms. “God, I was so busy wallowing in self-pity that I forgot how traumatic this must have been for you. I’m sorry.”

She tightened her clasp around him. “We’ll be there for each other.”

“Okay.”

...Continued