Three quarters of an hour later Victoria watched from the kitchen door as a lone figure, lantern in hand and bed roll under his arm made his way across the moonlit stable yard to the barn. Once he had disappeared inside Victoria turned and looked at the partially eaten sandwiches, an empty tumbler which had contained milk and two empty brandy glasses one large one small and shaking her head thought it was better than nothing. She cleared the table and made her way up the back stairs knowing that this was the beginning of what was going to be a short but long and sleepless night for her.
Audra was the only Barkley who slept peacefully that night. She was the only one oblivious to the true identity of their guest and the upset his appearance in their house had caused.
Restlessly the Barkley matriarch would find sleep for a short while before seeing the young teen scantily dressed in a well worn soldier’s uniform, dirty and shabby which had a long time since been faded by the sun so she could not tell whether it was union or confederate. Its fit was poor, hanging loosely from the boy’s wasted frame. She watched him as restricted by leg irons he struggled in the sodden earth to dig trenches and man handle corpses. She watched helplessly wanting to help yet being unable. Aware of her watching him the boy would stop and slowly turn to look at her. The grimy and gaunt face beneath a shock of unruly hair highlighted his listless eyes which water blue, pale and pitiful pleaded for her help and would startle her awake only for her to find Heath standing before her in the study as he had done during the past day. His pain filled eyes crying out for help. The pain of rejection she had caused being reflected back so it cut deep and sharp. She hurt as he had been hurt and she would muffle her own cry as he started to smile. The beautiful smile he had given her this night. The smile she knew meant he had forgiven her. Indeed she knew he had forgiven her when he started to relate his Carterson experiences. But the confirmation of forgiveness came with the gracious smile.
She would then reflect on what Heath had said. “Well I reckon you knew what was best for me. It’s just that you went about it in the wrong way.” She did not know any more than him whether going with Bentell was best she only hoped like him it would work. But she knew she had gone ‘about it in the wrong way’. He had once said he would do anything for her all she needed to do was ask. She remembered it clearly now when he told her he would wear his father’s boots if that was what she wanted. She had not asked then nor had she tried to force him and yet by the end of the day he was wearing the boots. That day she had handled it differently but today if she had stayed calm and ridden the storm she knew deep inside he would have gone with Bentell to please her. To please her he would do anything, he would have gone and she knew it.
Out of the mess, which this day had brought, came good. She now understood her stepson as never before. He had opened himself up to her and divulged his innermost self. She understood the power, the strength and the driving force he had which enabled him to survive when so many had perished and brought him to the family as a belated gift from her late husband his father. She was thankful for the precious gift.
With happier thoughts sleep would overcome her and the cycle of slumber, dreams and thoughts would begin again until the cockerel pronounced the dawn and tired she rose to prepare for a new day.
A day in which she knew she would have to entertain her guests at breakfast. She gave a wry smile as the knowledge she now held meant she was not looking forward to the meal. She recalled Heath’s questions and found herself wanting to ask Bentell the same. “How do you carry that around inside yourself? How do you come to terms with that? How do you live with yourself?” She knew in the short term she would never know because she had given her word to Heath not to broach the subject of Carterson with her houseguest. She hoped Heath would bring with him the answers when he returned from the logging camp. Worrying about the morning and what it would bring had added to her insomnia. For her stepson’s sake she was going to have to play the model host, keep a civil tongue in her head and moderate her conversations to niceties over the breakfast table. She flounced her shoulders, lifted her chin and with fortitude made her way down to the kitchen to help Silas prepare the first meal of the day.
Shortly after his mother had excused herself from the study Jarrod had gone with Nick to the living room to help Audra entertain their guests. While Audra discussed womanly matters with Mrs. Bentell the three men talked about the timber industry and how the flume could substantially increase the profit margin for the Barkley lumber enterprises among other matters. Victoria and Heath were conspicuous by their absence and for obvious reasons the topic of Carterson was never mentioned for which Matt Bentell was relieved. The evening drew on and when it became clear that their hostess was not going to make an appearance Mr. and Mrs. Bentell made their excuses of a long drive the next day and retired to their bedchamber.
Audra looked to her brothers wondering what had become of her mother and half brother only to be told by Jarrod she would like him and Nick have to wait until the morning to find out then proffered his arm to his sister to escort her up the stairs saying good night to Nick.
It was not until his head touched the pillow that Jarrod started to think about where his mother and brother might be for he was sure they were together. He had not noticed a light coming from beneath Heath’s bedroom door and wrongly assumed they were not there. Wherever they where Jarrod was sure that the trip to the logging camp for Heath would be the topic of conversation which influenced the slumber and dreams which overtook him.
He was in a courtroom and the accused Matt Bentell was standing in the dock pleading his innocence. On the seat in the witness stand was a photograph. Moving closer to the photograph the lawyer could see the piece of evidence for the prosecution more clearly. The evidence depicted a gaunt and emaciated creature, almost human in appearance sitting and looking at him. It was the eyes, which drew him closer, the eyes that mesmerized him. Eyes that this evening had turned from hate to sheer terror when they learned they were going with the accused to the logging camp. Jarrod looked into the eyes and started turning the pages to read the documents relating to the trial of the commander of Carterson. From each page his brother the creature in the photograph sat and looked at him accusingly with terror stricken eyes while Bentell professed his innocence. Jarrod found himself sitting up in bed shouting “No!” He knew the evidence he had read it many years before but this was the first time it had come back to haunt him and he knew why.
His brother was a statistic from the evidence and only now did he understand what he had done to Heath. He sat in bed and deliberated the torment his good intentions had caused this day to a brother he had grown to love. It had seemed such a good idea for Heath to go along with Bentell to the logging camp after all had he Jarrod not said it was difficult to hate somebody when you get to know them. What he had not put into the equation was that Heath did know Bentell, knew him better than any of them and that was why he hated him. Jarrod closed his eyes and saw his brother today in the study, his eyes turning from hate to fear to desperation and then desperately trying to find a way out, practically pleading with his family not to send him with Bentell .
Lying back down in his bed he started to reflect on what his young brother had said that very morning about Bentell and Wirtz being two of a kind. Having at one time read both, Jarrod considered the similarities in the cases of Wirtz from Andersonville and Bentell from Carterson. Both cases were almost identical in the evidence for the defense and the prosecution and yet Wirtz had been found guilty for his war crimes and subsequently executed were as Bentell had been found innocent and released. He knew there were many extenuating factors which bore influence over the true facts which accounted for the different verdicts. It was a country in turmoil Wirtz might have been hanged purely as a political statement were as Bentell might have been released because the nation needed to forget and heal. He had stated earlier this day that Bentell was innocent but he was no longer certain. He knew Heath thought Bentell was guilty and now acknowledged that as he himself had a right to have doubts so his younger brother had a right to his own opinion.
They had prevented Heath from killing Bentell and should not that have been enough he questioned? Had not Heath lived with his hate all the years after the war without it unduly affecting him? Was there really any reason to force Heath to go with Bentell he now thought? As is quite often the case in the night one can see things far clearer and so it was with Jarrod. In the dark and cold reality of the night he could see the truth of what he expected of his brother. His brother had been a witness of the countless atrocities, cruelties and deaths inside the prison camp. Even if Bentell was innocent how could he expect Heath to consider the prison commander anything other than he knew the man to be. Jarrod now realized he had made a horrendous mistake.
For the rest of the night in his bed he tossed and turned until the cockerel announced the dawn and he rose washed, shaved, dressed and welcomed this new day which gave him the opportunity to set to rights his intentions for his brother’s sake and made his way downstairs to talk with his mother.
“Morning Mother,” He walked into the kitchen, “I need to talk with you about this trip for Heath to the logging camp.” Getting straight to the heart of the matter he addressed his mother as he laid a kiss on her cheek.
Victoria just replied “Good morning.” But said no more and waited to hear what her eldest had to say.
“I think we, I mean I, may have got it wrong yesterday about Heath going with Bentell to the logging camp.” Jarrod didn’t need to talk any further for Victoria understood what he was trying to say and slightly raised a hand to forestall his words.
“I would have as a guess that you have had as wretched a night as I have Jarrod.” He looked at her and for the first time noticed the tired worn face and weary eyes and understanding nodded his head.
“It’s alright Jarrod. Yes I think we made a mistake yesterday, a very big one indeed but I spent the evening talking with Heath and he wants to go with Bentell.” Victoria tried to allay Jarrods concerns. “No that’s not quite right. Heath has decided to go with Bentell.” The lawyer remembering his brother from the previous day looked surprised and then quizzically at his mother wondering how certain she was. “Yes Jarrod he said he needs to go. He needs to face his past. And this time I’m going to stand by his decision and he would be grateful if you will too. We will support Heath in this.” This subject was not open for discussion and Jarrod realized it but he could also tell his mother had more to say. “Well mother. What is it? What aren’t you telling me?”
“I have plenty to tell you but not now, not until Heath and the Bentells have left.” Victoria knew they needed to keep a modicum of decorum and normality about the place for the sake of Heath and the Barkley’s guests. Victoria had been unable to hide the frown that furrowed her brow when she mentioned the Bentells and Jarrod had noticed it. “You have concerns about Bentell I can tell?”
Before she had a chance to reply Victoria’s second born came storming into the kitchen. “Morning Mother, Jarrod. Seen Heath?” His eyes quickly scoured the room and neither seeing who he was looking for nor waiting for a response Nick made his way to the outside by means of the kitchen door and taking long purposeful strides marched across the yard towards the barn.
Once Nick had been left alone the previous evening he had poured himself another whiskey and sat waiting and hoping that his new brother would appear. Since telling Heath that he had to go with Bentell Nick had had a wretched time and spent the rest of the evening inwardly berating himself.
That morning after Heath had left to go to the horse auction Nick had been ready to dismiss Matt Bentell but he let himself be talked round by Jarrod. What Jarrod said seemed to make sense but then whatever Jarrod said always seemed to make sense Nick acknowledged. Somehow Nick found himself suggesting Heath should go with Bentell and it was not until the evening when he confronted Heath in the study and told him, “You have to go,” that he realized what he had done. He saw the eyes that his mother and Jarrod had seen, the look of anger turning to fear but when Heath turned and pleaded with him and he denied his brother he saw the hurt and pain his words had caused. He knew then he had made a terrible mistake. He had let down his brother, his soul mate and the best friend a man could ever have; a brother strong and true, who would stand by him through thick and thin come what may.
He finished his drink and having decided Heath was not going to make an appearance he took himself to bed momentarily stopping by Heath’s door considering whether to knock. He thought he heard his mother’s voice and distressed sounds from within and so deciding against knocking took himself to bed with no hope of finding sleep. The distressed sounds coming from his brother’s room had sealed his fate as regards any form of rest that night.
He lay awake thinking about Heath and what his new brother had come to mean to him and the family as a whole and now wondered at the way they had treated Heath that day. He thought of Jarrod’s words about not being able to hate a person once you get to know him and realized what an idiotic remark it was. He did not like the Mortons and the more he knew them the more he disliked them so how was Heath ever going to like Bentell. It was as bizarre as expecting the Almighty to dine with Beelzebub and become bosom friends.
Nick may not have slept much but he had made a decision and he knew what needed to be done and was on track when he burst into the barn this new day.
His lack of sleep and stressed mind only strengthened his vocal chords as he yelled. “Heath where are you. I need to talk with you.”
Before his rude awakening Heath had been sleeping comfortably and uncharacteristically had slept through the cockerel’s morning call. The dreams had come as he had feared but had not terrorized him. He was at last able to accept and understand them. He knew he would have difficulty in explaining it because in a strange way he now found them wholesome and meaningful and yet almost surreal in their imagery.
Before sleeping he had settled down in his bedroll on the soft straw in one of the stalls and in this happy environment lulled by the smell of horses and the sound of their eating he had thought over his day. The day he thought the world beneath his feet was crumbling away. The day he had found the commander of Carterson prison Matt Bentell standing in the living room. The day he had remembered what happened at Carterson. The day he had been hurt deeply by his new family. The day he had been grievously let down by his brother and soul mate. The day he had made revelations about his experiences as a prisoner of war. The day he formed a stronger relationship and new understanding with his stepmother. This had been a tiring but momentous day one he would not forget in a hurry. But it was in the past and he now looked forward with trepidation and fortitude to the future.
He was not looking forward to going with Matt Bentell to the logging camp but he would go because somewhere deep inside himself he knew it was the right thing to do and the only way to move forward. He did not know how he would handle himself. He did not know whether he could control his anger towards Matt Bentell. He only knew that he was being given an opportunity and he needed to grasp it and make the most out of it. He was a strong believer in things happening for a reason and as far as Heath was concerned Matt Bentell had not just arrived to discuss the building of a flume.
The night before he had been reconciled with his stepmother but the rift created with his two brothers still needed to be bridged. He had been sorely hurt by their actions. In many ways he could understand Jarrod being governed by his judicial mind but he could not understand Nick not supporting and standing by him. Heath knew he would have never under the same circumstances deserted Nick. For that reason he was not surprised to be awakened by his brother’s loud voice calling for him this morning. Knowing his brother he rightly assumed Nick’s conscience had hit him.
Tired, irritable and disheveled Heath stumbled out of the stall and disdainfully spoke to Nick. “Wake up the whole of Stockton, why don’t ya? I don’t know why we bother keeping a cockerel we might as well have it for dinner one of these days.”
Nick chuckled for Heath had spoken to him and he was glad he had found his missing brother. Nick was going to retort, “What’s gotten into your craw?” But thinking better of it said instead without thought. “You look like something the cat’s dragged in.”
“Hum!” Heath grunted as Nick moved closer to him noticing the wisps of straw sticking out of his brother’s hair and the obviously used bed roll laid out on the straw in the stall retorted. “You spend the night out here?”
“Yep!” Heath grunted again. He wasn’t prepared to make anything easy for Nick because Heath was still hurting deeply and it was going to take a lot more than friendly chit chat to make him forget what his brother had done the previous day. Heath doubted whether their relationship would ever get back on par. His trust for Nick had been broken.
Being so pleased Heath had responded to him Nick had forgotten the reason he had rushed over to the barn. “Why did ya sleep out here?” He asked while plucking from his brother the protruding wisps of straw.
Slapping Nick’s hands away he retorted scathingly. “Why do you think Nick?” He turned round to roll up his bed, “Look Nick, I ain’t got time to stand jawing with ya. If ya ain’t got anything meaningful to say give me some space. I have somewhere to go today or had ya forgotten? ” The last part he spat out with venom but Nick either didn’t notice or decided to ignore it.
“Bentell!” Nick suddenly remembered why he needed to find his younger brother.
“Look Heath that’s it. That’s what I wanted to say. About yesterday.” He was beginning to get contrite.
“Well Nick spit it out ’cause I’ve gotta get cleaned up yet and the days a wastin’.” Heath snarled.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean what happened. I thought it was a good idea. Well I’m not sure what I thought. When you left to go to the auction I was ready to fire Bentell but then Jarrod started on about how difficult it was for someone to hate another when they get to know them and I thought it seemed a good idea for you to go with Bentell and sort out this hate thing. I guess I really didn’t give it much thought.” “No you never do.” Heath thought when Nick tried to explain himself and make an apology. Nick wasn’t too sure whether Heath was going to accept it or had even listened to him. Of course Heath had heard him but was not giving Nick the satisfaction of being forgiven easily.
“So it was your idea was it? That’s why you were so determined I should go with Bentell. Are you happy now Nick?” Heath finished rolling his bed roll and pushing by Nick walked over to the tack room. Nick followed at his heals blurting out. “Look Heath I’m sorry, I really am. I realized after I told you you had to go that I’d made a mistake and I’ve spent the whole night cussing myself about it. It’s not too late Heath you don’t have to go I’ll sort it out with Jarrod and Mother. I’ll go in your place, we’ll dismiss him. I’m not sure whether I want him working for us knowing who he is. We normally have a vote on these matters and Audra wasn’t involved.” Nick wasn’t sure whether he was getting through to his brother.
Heath threw his bedroll over the seat of his saddle and sharply swinging round stepped abruptly towards his brother thrusting his face in close and menacingly fumed. “I’m going with Bentell today. But don’t flatter yourself big brother I told ya once before no man sends me anywhere. Not you, not Jarrod, not Mother, not any man. I’m going because it’s my choice, my decision. Understand?” Having no alternative but to look into his brother’s raging blue eyes Nick found himself involuntarily moving backwards with the force of the glare. Gone was the pain and terror from the previous evening. These were eyes of strength and self assurance. The eyes of a brother who had been lost and now had found himself. They were telling Nick that they did not need the likes of him. Now Nick was feeling the pain and looked pleadingly at Heath. When he knew Nick was feeling pain Heath turned and started towards the door unable to stop a slight smile cracking his lips. He had not meant to come over so angrily nor did he enjoy hurting his brother but he had to admit this day it gave him satisfaction.
“Aw, hell Heath, I’m.....” Nick began but was cut off as his younger brother turned round as he began to speak and saw the smile Heath was giving him . “I talked it over with mother last night Nick. I’m going with Bentell and ya don’t need to be worrying about me. It’s something I need to be doing. Now when I’m away Mother is gonna fill ya in on some facts about me. I’d tell ya now myself but I ain’t got time and besides I want all of ya to know. I want you to promise me something Nick. To kinda make up for yesterday?” Heath raised an eye brow and gave a look he knew his brother could not refuse while the right corner of his mouth turned up.
“Sure Heath anything you want. Promise.” Nick gave his word anything to make up for the previous day.
Heath had a vision of his volatile brother ripping Bentell to pieces when he heard what his mother had to say and he needed to ensure it did not happen. “Some of the things you’re gonna hear you ain’t gonna like. I don’t want you going off half cocked and killing someone or something equally stupid. Understand?” Heath inwardly remembered trying to kill Bentell himself the previous day as he saw the unspoken question in his brother’s hazel eyes and continued. “When I get back I’ll tell you Nick anything you wanna know and anything ya don’t understand. I’ll be alright while I’m away. Okay? Promise?”
Nick nodded his head and walked with Heath towards the barn door. Suddenly Heath stopped and turned to Nick. “Thank you Nick.” He said quietly and gave a smile which told Nick he had been forgiven. Nick could not help himself from grabbing Heath by the back of the neck and giving him a brotherly shake.
“Come on boy you’ve gotta get cleaned up and what were ya doing sleepin’ in the barn anyway?” Heath just smiled and shook his head as he walked with his brother to the house knowing that their relationship had weathered the storm.
As Nick had marched over to the barn in search of Heath Victoria had led Jarrod to the study where they could talk in privacy.
Closing the door behind her Victoria began. “Last night Heath told me about his prison camp experiences. Jarrod they were very disturbing and frankly very upsetting. No, just one second,” Victoria stated to stop Jarrod from interrupting. “I’m going to tell you, all of you when Heath and the Bentells have left for the logging camp so I don’t want to go into details now. It’s just that I know that Matt Bentell was found innocent at the trial and having heard Heath out I don’t understand it.” She looked to Jarrod for an explanation.
“I can imagine what Heath has told you Mother and there will be no doubt of the truth of what he has said. But there were extenuating circumstances which were pertinent to the trial and Heath’s situation while a prisoner. I read the trial reports myself and the accounts from the prisoners were very harrowing.” Jarrod’s reasoning and logic had deduced his mother was now having the same problems he had had earlier in accepting the innocence of the logging foreman. “As you have told me Heath’s intention is to go with Bentell so I think Mother what we should do is wait on Heath’s return as I’m sure you were going to do and go with his thoughts on the matter when he gets back. From what you have said Heath now seems determined to go?”
Victoria nodded her head and replied, “Yes he’s very determined he needs to go. I’m sorry Jarrod I’m just not sure anymore about Bentell. I have to face Bentell at breakfast and I’m not looking forward to it. I think you are right, that it’s best waiting until Heath returns and taking it from there I gave my word to Heath not to mention Carterson or anything of that matter with Bentell.” Jarrod gave a small understanding smile and opened the study door to lead his mother to the dining room ready for breakfast.
“If you get the chance please try and have a quick word with Heath yourself before he leaves I think he would appreciate that.” Knowing the hurt that had been caused by Heath’s brothers the previous day the Barkley matriarch told her eldest as she was escorted to the dining room.
Hearing his brothers in the foyer Jarrod excused himself from his mother’s company and exited the dining room, by-passing Nick he called out to Heath who had started up the stairs. “Heath, I want a word.”
Heath slowed his bounding to a walk but Jarrod was still forced to catch up to him to ascend the stairs side by side. They had reached Heath’s bedroom door before Jarrod began, “Heath about yesterday, about Bentell, I think it was a mistake, I.....”
Before he could say more Heath rounded on him his pale blue eyes boring into him forcing the lawyer hard back against the banister rail. Heath's voice as menacing as it had been with Nick earlier tore into Jarrod. “Oh no. There was no mistake Jarrod you did exactly as I would have expected you to do. Ever the lawyer. You put the law, your profession, a stranger before me, your own brother.”
As abruptly as he had rounded on his eldest brother Heath turned and went into his bedroom closing the door behind him leaving Jarrod alone and stunned in the hallway. For a few seconds the lawyer stood contemplating what had happened, what his brother had said and more importantly what he himself had not said. Hesitantly he knocked on the door and when it opened he was facing his young brother’s best poker playing mask. “Heath, I am sorry. I was wrong. I should have been satisfied at stopping you from killing Bentell but I wasn’t. I had to go that bit further and get you to like the fellow. I suppose I was acting more like a lawyer than a brother. Can you forgive me?”
Not changing his expression Heath slowly nodded his head then effectively closed the door in Jarrod’s face. The lawyer was left to descend the stairs believing he had been forgiven but understanding irreparable damage to his relationship with his new brother had been caused.
A short while later clean and presentable Heath came rushing out of his bedroom and collided with his sister. “Sorry Sis.” He said as he took hold of Audra’s arms to steady her. “Oh Heath where were you last night I missed you?”
“I’m pleased to hear that.” He gave Audra an endearing smile. “I was busy I had some talking to do with Mother.” Seeing a slight change in his expression Audra looked curiously at him and so he continued, “I’m going up to the logging camp today for a while with the logging foreman. While I’m away mother is gonna tell you all some things about me, about my past. Some of it’s gonna be pretty upsetting and if you’d rather not hear it I’ll understand. But I’d like for you to listen it’s important to me and I want you to truly know me.”
“If that’s what you want big brother then I’ll listen.” Audra replied with a slight smile already anxiously wondering what she was going to hear. Heath just gratefully said, “Thanks Sis,” and put his arm out to escort her downstairs to breakfast where although not late they were the last to make an appearance. The morning’s greetings having been made Heath helped Audra into her place at the table before seating himself.
Epilogue
In the East the sun had climbed above the mountains casting long dark shadows as its profusion of radiantly painted colors defused into an icy blue in the morning sky promising a bright but cool day in the big valley.
Farewells having been given Mrs. Victoria Barkley stood on the path before the large front door to the Barkley mansion watching between the open gates as the buggy carrying the Bentells and a horse carrying her stepson disappeared from sight as they made their way to the logging camp on the edge of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.
Thinking back over the last couple of hours she reflected that the breakfast time had been better than she had hoped. Audra had amiably chatted away in her usual fashion about cities she had visited and the shops she had frequented in the various cities thereby keeping Mrs. Bentell entertained.
Although most of the time Nick’s hazel eyes kept glowering at Matt Bentell she noted he had not been rude in any way to their guest and had kept abreast of the conversation. She could tell by his demeanor and the glances he kept throwing Heath’s way that her two sons had reconciled their differences and she was pleased.
She noted how Jarrod the very model of diplomacy had kept the conversation flowing without her having to say too much for which she was grateful. Any time he thought the discussion was becoming too risky or faltering he would skillfully steer or recharge it.
She had been pleased Heath had come to share the breakfast meal with his family and guests and noted how he had sat and listened to the conversation and replied if at any time a remark was directed towards him. To her it was obvious he was nervous but he had held himself together not allowing the house guest to know his feelings. Although he did not eat too much he did not chase his food around his plate and nor did he look down or away if Bentell addressed him. Not specifically being rude his replies to Bentell were curt and unfriendly and had Jarrod raising a few knowing eyebrows. By his manner Victoria could tell her stepson was not going to be intimidated by the logging foreman for which she was thankful. She felt assured Heath would meet his Carterson demons head on.
When it came time to depart to the logging camp everyone had moved outside the house to say their farewells. She had been glad to see Jarrod shaking hands with a smiling Heath and was pleased her first born had made the effort as she had asked. Had she been closer she would have heard Heath telling Jarrod he would talk with him when he returned and she missed the look on her eldest son’s face when he knew his young brother had unreservedly accepted his apology.
Heath then had made his way towards his mother and she took his rugged face between her dainty hands and drew it down towards her and kissing him had said, “You don’t have to go you know?”
With a small crooked smile and eyes expressing his love and gratitude he had quietly spoken to her, “Yes I know, but I need to.” He turned then and mounting his horse rode off in front of the Bentell’s buggy towards the morning sun.