They arrived within half an hour and headed down the hall where the nurse had indicated Dr. Marchetti’s whereabouts. The tall, dark-haired man was quietly exiting a private room with a frown.

“Michael what happened?” Oscar demanded.

“Steve collapsed and Jaime brought him here by ambulance. She told me he had two episodes within the same hour where his breathing became difficult and very irregular.”

He looked at Rudy when the older physician spoke, “How is he now?”

Michael described the dire situation. “He’s struggling Rudy. He’s weak and barely conscious. Even with the surgery I’m not sure there will be a positive outcome.”

Rudy swallowed hard and pushed open the door. Jaime’s tear streaked face turned at the sudden sound behind her. She quickly stood and wrapped her arms around Rudy. He held her tight as she cried. After a few moments she was able to release him and whispered, “Michael said he’s losing the fight. Please Rudy do something.”

Rudy touched her cheek. “I’ll see what I can do okay?” She nodded and gave him some time alone with Steve.

At the bedside he looked down at his longtime friend and patient. Steve’s face was pale and a light sheen of perspiration covered his forehead, slightly dampening his hair. The tube providing pure oxygen rested below his nose. His eyes were closed but slowly found their way open.

“Rudy….” Came the weak voice. “So much for seven days huh?”

“Don’t talk Steve.” Rudy ordered knowing he would need all the strength he had.

“Have…to.” The patient’s eyes closed for a moment as he gathered his energy. Then looking at his surgeon, he saw the guilt displayed on the man’s face. “Time to throw the pitch Rudy. You know…I want to go out swinging.”

Rudy stared at him a moment, unsure how to respond to the pleading in his eyes. “Steve…I’m not sure I’m the best one to be doing this.”

Steve couldn’t help the corner of his mouth as it curled into a half-grin. “You’ve been my surgeon for years Rudy…I’m not firing you now.” His blue eyes burned into the brown ones. “We both need you to do this Rudy. I don’t hold you responsible for this so neither should you.”

The doctor abruptly broke off the eye contact. “Steve… there’s a good chance if you survive there could be brain damage. You know I’ve never done this type of surgery before.”

Steve gave a small smile causing Rudy’s brow to furl. “I have… every confidence in you. You have the patience… the skill… and the focus… to do microsurgery. Besides, you attended…Dr. Peirot’s lecture. I paid… for your registration… remember? At least… let me get… my money’s worth.”

Rudy chuckled at Steve’s comment but his smile quickly disappeared as Steve lost consciousness.

He stared at his friend for a moment when Michael entered the room. “Well?” He asked quietly.

Rudy looked up at his colleague. “He wants to go out fighting. Is the equipment here?” Michael nodded affirmatively. “I’m going to need some help.” With those words still hanging in the room Rudy left.

Knowing he was working against the clock Rudy, with Oscar’s influence, was able to consult with Michelle Peirot by phone. From the latest brain scan he described the exact location of the bullet. Michelle provided the step by step process to remove the foreign object causing the least amount of damage to the surrounding tissue of the delicate yet complicated organ. With detailed notes in hand Rudy headed to the operatory, the specialized equipment all ready for its unique task.

Oscar and Jaime waited anxiously in the waiting room for news from the operating room. The first two hours passed relatively quickly. The following two crawled by at a snail’s pace. Every now and then Oscar would move about the room trying to burn off the nervous energy. Jaime remained stoic as she occasionally shifted in her seat on the couch.

Michael entered the post-op area to find a nervous Rudy overseeing Steve’s care. He stepped up the bed, saw the monitors and inquired. “Is the ventilator a precaution?”

Without taking his worried gaze from the patient a weary Rudy replied, “No, it’s a necessity.”

Michael now understood Rudy’s need to stay with Steve. He was not breathing on his own, whether it was from the bullet moving or the surgery it was not a good sign.

Half way into the fifth hour Michael and Rudy ambled into the lounge. The faces of the waiting pair told them of their anxiety and deep concern for Steve.

“Well Rudy?” Oscar demanded.

“He’s alive and in guarded condition.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Jaime asked hopefully.

Seeing his colleague struggling with the burden of the situation Michael responded, “We won’t know for a while.”

“Can we see him?” She choked out. Michael nodded and gesture down the hall.

The dimly lit room was as quiet as a church, making the number of silent prayers filling it seem appropriate. The heart monitor beeped softly in rhythm with the hearts of everyone present. Oscar was half sitting, arms folded across his chest, on the edge of a table, too nervous to get comfortable. Jaime sat in a chair leaning forward, elbows on her knees, towards the bed hoping to see some sign of movement. The pair settled in anxiously waiting for the Steve to wake.

24 hours had passed since the surgery and the only small victory was Steve was now breathing without the ventilator. The violent rain spattering the window had no effect on the tired spectators, all lost in their own memories of the man in the bed, all hoping he would be the same person when he awoke. Steve’s body lay deathly still, a sheet covering his unclothed body to his waist. His slightly elevated head was bandaged with three inch wide gauze wrapping around it like a headband covering the small incisions need to extract the bullet. Wisps of his light brown hair fell around the top of the bandage making him look decades younger.

A loud bang of thunder startled them, the storm edging closer to the city. Frequently lightening lit up the room giving it an eerie feel. The weary observers relaxed a bit but were startled again by the sudden opening of the door. Rudy moved in, functioning on adrenalin and caffeine alone since he hadn’t slept for almost two days, the uncharacteristic fear and anxiety clearly noticeable as he moved swiftly to the right side of the bed and inquired, “Any signs of him coming around?”

“No” was Oscar’s simple reply.

The doctor was confident Steve should have been stirring by now. He just ended a phone conversation with Michelle and she described some patients who, after these types of surgeries, hovered between wakefulness and coma. If they weren’t coaxed to consciousness they would simply drift into a coma, a few never coming back out of it.

“He should have been awake hours ago.” He commented nervously. A gentle hand was placed in Steve’s left cheek and his head turned gingerly towards the doctor who was softly calling Steve’s name.

“Come on Steve, it’s time to wake up. Wake up Steve. We have work to do. Come on.” There was no response and Rudy was beginning to panic. Was he too late? “Steve you have visitors here waiting to talk to you. Wake up Steve… please.” The doctor took his fist and began rubbing his knuckles firmly on Steve’s bare sternum. It was an uncomfortable yet effective way to wake semi comatose patients. He held his breath.

Everyone was silent and was rewarded with a weak groan protesting the noxious sensation on his chest, causing Oscar and Jaime to move closer to the bed, looking on with anticipation. “That’s it Steve, come on.” Stopping his moving fist, Rudy saw eyes begin moving below the closed lids. Rudy’s heart was banging against his ribs. The glassy eyes cracked open and did their best to focus on the face above.

“Rudy?” The patient whispered with uncertainty.

“Yeah, Steve it’s me.” The eyes closed again, the lids too heavy to hold open.

“Did… it… work?” He asked softly. Rudy replied bluntly. “Yes, the bullet’s out.” He saw Steve’s bare chest rise fully and fall with a relieved sigh and the patient quickly drifted into a deep healing sleep. It was only then that Rudy also let out a sigh of his own.

He straightened up and turned toward the happy faces, one tear-stained. He made eye contact with each one starting with Jaime. “It’s a good sign that he’s no longer unconscious and sleeping soundly. It’s also a good sign that he could communicate and knew who I was.” The two sets of eyes stared with concern as they braced themselves to hear the bad news. “We still have a battery of neurological tests to do in order to determine if there is any permanent damage to his brain.”

Jaime asked lightly, “Can we at least enjoy the small successes right now?”

Rudy nodded, “Sure. I just want you prepared.”

Oscar replied, “We understand.”

Later that afternoon Rudy tried in vain to complete some basic neurological testing but Steve was much too exhausted to be lucid for more than a few minutes at a time. The doctor was able to determine Steve’s left arm was flaccid and was absent of tendon reflexes. His lower leg, due to its man-made construction, could not be assessed; bionics don’t have reflexes. So the anxious doctor would have to wait until Steve could demonstrate some active movement of his own as well as whether he had any sensation in the limb.

The right side of the patient was normal as expected since the brain damage was in the right side of the brain, which controls the left side of the body. Rudy sat, frustrated, in a bedside chair ready to give in to his tiredness.

He must have dozed off and was startled by a light squeeze on his shoulder. He looked up to see Michael smiling. “Rudy, he’s been stable for a while and I ‘m confident he won’t wake up for some time. How about going home for some real sleep? I’ll contact you if there is any change okay?”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 2 am.” Rudy ran a hand over his unusually stubbly face and observed his patient who was sleeping soundly. After letting out a sigh he conceded. “Alright but I’ll be back in the afternoon. Call me at my house if anything changes.”

“I promise I’ll call with any change in his condition.” Michael responded and watched Rudy amble out the door.

Rudy grabbed a quick steamy shower to rid himself of the tension still living in his back and shoulders. It had been an unbelievable week. After slipping on some pajama bottoms he couldn’t remember the last time he had been this exhausted. A dreamless sleep awaited him as soon as his head sunk into the soft down pillow but he dodged its desperate hand.

His thoughts were on Michelle wishing he could see her, assure himself that she was okay. He wondered what could be done to assist in her defense. The fact that she was instrumental in saving Steve’s life should move the scales of justice a little in her favor, hopefully shortening her sentence. Rudy mentally reviewed all he could offer in her defense. The sandman approached but he waved him off when his thoughts turned back to Steve’s condition and how much brain damage could have been done by the surgery. Did he make a mistake during surgery? Did his instruments stray a millimeter from their path to permanently disable his best friend? Hours passed as Rudy moved fitfully from one position to another trying to find the one comfortable posture that would help quiet his mind and give his body what it screamed for. It was a hopeless task. He would be forced to linger between wakefulness and dozing, a restful sleep remaining elusive.

The ringing of the telephone interrupted his fight for sleep and his eyes flew open to see the time displayed on his bedside clock, 10:00 am. Thinking Steve may have taken an unexpected turn he grabbed the almond colored phone.

“Hello.”

“Rudy, its Oscar. I wanted to let you know the CIA is transferring Dr. Peirot to an undisclosed location tonight.” Goldman paused and after getting no response he added. “I thought you might want to speak with her before they take her. Just say the word and I will arrange it.”

The physician hesitated, the seconds ticking by, his mind trying to decide whether to see Michelle or return to Steve. Knowing Steve was in good hands and that he may not get a chance to speak face to face with Michelle again for along time he made his request and was assured it would be granted in half an hour.

The engaged couple met in an interrogation room with CIA agents observing from the one-way mirror. Rudy suspected the conversation was being taped. When Rudy entered they hugged tightly before taking the two available seats.

“It’s good to see you Rudy. How is Steve?”

“He’s stable but I’m afraid there is some brain damage. His left side…well…”

“Give it time Rudy.” She saw the defeated look in his eyes feeling not only responsible for Steve getting shot but also for not performing a miracle in the operating room. “You know the brain takes time to heal. Don’t give up yet.”

He gave her a small smile and took her hand in his. “Michelle, I’m going to talk with the Secretary and make sure they know that it’s because of you the Steve is still alive. Maybe they’ll…”

She quickly placed her long fingers to his lips. “Don’t Rudy. I am not proud of my role in this situation. I went in with my eyes open because I didn’t know what else to do to protect you.” She saw the sadness in his eyes and finished. “And I would do it all again.” As the tears began to slowly roll down her cheeks she ignored them. “I know that might sound harsh knowing what they were going to do with Steve but I could only look out for you and I felt I had to make that choice so I did.”

Rudy held her hand tighter and lowered his gaze. His head only came back up at her next words, “Rudy I’m just sorry I ruined the future we could have had together.” The dark brown eyes grew wide. “Michelle, you make it sound like your giving up…on us and our future.”

“Rudy I can’t exactly be a wife if I’m behind bars. You deserve more then that.”

“But there were extenuating circumstance and you helped save Steve’s life! They have to take that into consideration.”

“You always were an optimist.” She gave him a small chuckle. “You’re right. I should look ahead to the future.” Her statement caused a genuine smile to form on Rudy’s lips. “I guess I don’t have to ask if you’ll wait for me.”

“Of course I’ll wait for you. You are the only woman I have ever wanted Michelle. I’ve waited ten years what’s a few more?”

She reached into the pocket of government issued blue jeans and retrieved the engagement ring. “Until that day I want you to hold onto this. They took it from me when I was arrested and I asked for it back so I could give it to you.”

He took the expensive item reluctantly and just nodded, too choked up to respond. “Rudy.” She waited until his chocolate brown orbs met her dark green ones. “I really am sorry. I never imagined I could bring so much pain to someone I love with my whole heart and soul.”

He smiled but she saw the water pooling in his eyes. “I love you too Michelle, always.”

The door behind Rudy opened and their meeting was brought to an end. The couple stood and embraced before sharing a tender kiss. “I’ll be there in every way possible I can. Okay?”

“Okay Rudy.” She placed a loving hand on his cheek and stared into his soulful eyes, “You take care of yourself.”

“You too Michelle.” Another word from the agent at the door and Rudy forced his feet to take him away from his love.

Rudy went to the medical center but his heart was still with Michelle. He quickly reviewed Steve’s chart and was disappointed when he read the latest assessment of his patient’s motor skills. Placing the chart back on the rack he ambled into Steve’s room.

Steve’s head was facing away as he dozed but feeling the presence of another he turned and opened his eyes. “Hi Rudy.” He said in a sleepy voice.

“How are you doing Steve?”

“Better then I expected.”

“I read in your chart that you don’t have any feeling or movement in your left leg or arm.”

“That would be accurate but Michael says it may not be permanent.” He looked and saw the utter sadness in Rudy’s face, knowing the surgeon felt responsible. “Rudy, at least I’m alive. That does count for something you know.”

The voice responding was low and dismayed, “I guess you’re right.” He took a deep breath, the weight of the day’s events pushing him down into a depression. He couldn’t help Michelle and he may have caused Steve to be paralyzed. It was all too much.

“Rudy?” Steve made an attempt to get his friend’s attention. Slowly the brown eyes rose to meet the blue ones. “What’s going on?” The doctor had his hands shoved deep into his pants pockets, his right one fingering the engagement ring hidden there.

“I saw Michelle today. They are taking her to a secret location tonight.”

“Who’s they?”

“CIA. Oscar was able to get permission for me to speak with her.” He paused a few seconds as he gazed at the floor and Steve patiently waited for him to finish while trying to remain awake. “It was… difficult.”

“I’m sorry Rudy.” Steve eyed his friend then suggested, “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep. You look exhausted.”

A small smile crept onto his face. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”

“Then go Rudy. Do whatever you need to do to work through this. I promise I’ll still be here when you get back.” Rudy’s weak smile finally reached his eyes. “Okay you win. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure Rudy. I’ll be right here.”

Laying with his hands clasped together on his toned stomach the face of his lover would not dim from his mind’s eye. He wondered how long it had been since he had slept well. Then the answer quickly came to him. It had been eight days…eight days since he slept well in this bed. His mind quickly recalled why that night stuck in his head….Michelle. It amazed him how one’s life situation could change so drastically in only a week.

Eight days ago was the last time he and Michelle had made love… here in his bed. The memory was still vivid in his mind. He rolled onto his side and let his arm run across the cool sheet where her warm body had laid, curled up against him. Closing his eyes he thought for sure he could still smell her French perfume in the room and it was almost like she was there with him again. When he opened his eyes and saw the unused pillow a lone tear rolled down his cheek and dropped onto his pillowcase. It wasn’t long after that sleep finally pulled him under…away from the sadness… away from the pain.

The sun sneaked between the drawn curtains giving the illusion of a warm day but the temperature outside was dropping swiftly as a cold front moved into the capital from Canada. The brightness slowly meandered across the bed as the large orange orb moved above the horizon. When the stream of light came to rest on sleeping man’s face it soaked through the closed eyelids. A heavy sigh was let go and Rudy gradually opened his eyes. It was already 9:00 am and he felt like he could use another day of sleep. After a shower he fixed some breakfast and grabbed the paper. The coffee he sipped while perusing the morning paper was strong and hot but the printed words were lost on him, his mind distracted by the events of the past day. Tossing the folded newsprint onto the table he wandered into the living room to watch the morning news, a rare opportunity for the work-obsessed scientist.

He settled himself on the couch and watched distractedly as the events of the nighttime hours passed across the colored screen almost unnoticed. Two senseless murders occurred in Washington; an accidental house fire killed a family of three, a small plane down in the Catskill Mountains of New York, followed by short piece on thousands of young people dying while waiting for organ transplantation to be perfected and approved by the FDA.

Rudy took a deep breath and wondered why he thought watching the news would improve his mood. He stood, now even more depressed, switching off the television and picking up the phone hoping Michael would have better news then the broadcasters.

“Hi Rudy.” Michael greeted with a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”

“Steve knew you’d call this morning. He wanted me to tell you to take the morning off and that he didn’t want to see your face until this afternoon.”

Rudy smirked at the relayed comment. “Oh really, besides being his usual, cranky self while confined to his bed how is he really?”

“Well, he still doesn’t have movement in his left arm or leg. I did a brain scan early this morning and it showed swelling at the surgical site. Hopefully as that subsides we will see some improvement. Other then that Jaime has been keeping him company when he’s not sleeping.”

“Any headaches?”

“Some but nothing intense.”

“That’s good. Well, tell him I’ll be in to see him at 12:01 pm.”

Michael laughed, “I’ll be sure to pass that on.” Rudy heard the assertive knock on his front door.

“Thanks Michael. I have to go there’s somebody at the door.”

“See you later Rudy.”

Swing the door open Rudy immediately noticed an air of tension encircling Oscar as he stood on the front porch in a slightly wrinkled suit.

“Oscar what’s…?” The tall man didn’t wait for Rudy to finish.

“Can I come in Rudy?”

“Sure.” He replied as he stepped back from the doorway. The doctor followed his boss into the living room and noticed the slumped shoulders. “Something wrong Oscar?”

“Sit down Rudy.” The scientist hesitated, hating when any conversation with Oscar began with ‘sit down’. He knew it couldn’t be good news.

“Alright.” He responded quietly and slid into a chair while he watched Oscar drop onto the couch. “Oscar just tell me what you need to say.”

“It’s Michelle.” The solemn brown eyes looked up at the doctor he had known for many years, despising what he had to tell him but didn’t want anyone else to do it.

“What about her Oscar?” Rudy’s voice dropped lower then normal.

“They took her to another CIA office last night as planned but…” His voice getting softer as he went.

“BUT WHAT?” Rudy anxiously blurted out.

“I heard this morning they were taking her to New York. The plane never made it. It was flying at a high altitude, at night, through the cold weather. The wreckage was found this morning in the mountains.” He looked up at Rudy’s wide-eyed stare. “I’m sorry Rudy… There were no survivors.”

Rudy’s mind suddenly remembered the news report. ‘A small plane crashed in the Catskills.’ No details were given. Of course, Rudy thought, none would ever be given seeing as how it was a CIA plane that crashed. Michelle…his Michelle was on that plane.

“Oh God.” He choked out as his mind and body went numb. “No, it can’t be. It just can’t.” He looked at Oscar as if to ask are you sure. Oscar nodded slightly at the unvoiced question.

Oscar was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and he stared at his hands as he rubbed them together. “The National Transportation and Safety Board and the FAA are investigating. The initial findings point towards icing on the wings.” When there wasn’t any sound coming from the distraught doctor he just continued. “Michelle’s…remains… will be available for burial in a few days. With no family I assume you will want to make the arrangements.” He didn’t look at the sad face still trying to come to grips with the news, he couldn’t.

“Yes.” The soft response was sent between the two men. Oscar stood up to his full height and looked down at his friend’s pale face. “Are you going to be okay Rudy?”

There was a nod but no words were spoken. Rudy was just trying to control his out of control emotions.

“You know where to find me if you need anything. Okay?” There was another silent nod and Oscar placed a supportive hand on Rudy’s shoulder and squeezed before letting himself out.

No sooner had the door shut that the tears washed down the cheeks of the devastated man slumped in the upholstered chair.

Rudy stared out his back patio window at the deep snow that covered the lawn. It would have been a beautiful sight had it not been the result of the same Canadian cold front that caused Michelle’s plane to crash. It was as if the quietness of the white blanket mocked him with its innocence. He was doing his best to keep his head above water but the deep depression and grief was wearing him down. Nothing mattered to him anymore, not eating, not sleeping, nothing. Not even his work, which included Steve. Rudy still felt immense guilt over disabling his once active, vibrant friend. His involvement with Michelle was the cause of Steve being partially paralyzed. The scientist cocooned himself in his home waiting for the call from Oscar as to where to pick up Michelle’s remains. His mind was lost in the past memories and distracted by the present which involved the planning of her final resting place. It was all too much.

Two days had passed and Steve’s curiosity over Rudy’s absence was getting the better of him. He sat in his wheelchair near the window and thought about the mess he got his friend into. If he hadn’t sent Rudy to that conference the doctor wouldn’t have rekindle his romance with the young scientist. When he purchased the ticket he never could have imagined how horribly this would have turned out.

Steve figured Rudy had gone to wherever they had taken Michelle, to support her during this trying time. He had to have gone with her. There was no other explanation he could come up with to explain his surgeon’s unexpected absence.

With his short rest break over Steve refocused on his exercises. He was beginning to get the feeling back in his leg and arm. Staring at the lax limb on the armrest he concentrated intensely until beads of perspiration formed on his forehead, the forearm slowly rising off the chair’s arm. The door opened and Michael walked in with Jaime.

“Hi Michael… Jaime.” He grunted out his clenched jaw before exhaling forcefully.

“Well, that’s an improvement.” Jaime exclaimed seeing the limb finally move.

“I’ve got a ways to go but it’s a start.” The blue eyes moved to the young physician and he asked bluntly, “Are you going to tell me where Rudy is or should I start guessing?”

“He’s taking some personal time off.” He replied quietly.

“That’s what you told me yesterday. Is he with Michelle?”

Michael hesitated before responding. “Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?” Steve inquired with a raised brow.

“Well, I wanted to wait until you were stronger before filling you in.”

“Fill me in about what?”

Michael took a deep breath and explained what had happened to Michelle which in turn explained why Rudy hadn’t been in to see his patient for two days. Steve and Jaime sat in disbelief. Steve’s mumbled words were barely audible. “I didn’t think this could get any worse.”

He looked up at Michael, “Where is he now?”

Michael shrugged, “I’m not sure. I’ve called his house a few times but his answering machine is turned off. He hasn’t called in here either.”

Jaime chimed in, “That’s not like Rudy.”

“No it’s not but Oscar did say he didn’t take the news too well. In fact Oscar stopped by his house early yesterday and said it looked as if he hadn’t slept or showered since the day before.”

“Jaime would you please hand me the phone.” Steve asked and the woman complied.

“Who are you calling?”

“Oscar.”

Oscar took Steve’s call immediately and filled him in on the NTSB and FAA reports. Both investigations confirmed that icing on the wings caused the plane to stall which was unrecoverable in such mountainous terrain at night. Oscar accepted Steve gratitude for the information then ended the call. The director slowly closed the file which had been altered at his request and locked it in his top drawer. He didn’t want anyone except him and the pathologist who performed the autopsy to know the truth about Michelle. It certainly wouldn’t do Rudy any good to know Michelle was pregnant at the time of her death.

Rudy at least made it to the shower by the third day after receiving the devastating news, although he ignored the stubble covering his chin and cheeks. The doorbell rang and he ignored it not wanting any visitors. After a few moments the person outside began banging insistently on the door. Rudy stepped into the dark living room, the curtains closed tightly. He suddenly heard the familiar voice assertively explaining the situation.

“Rudy, I know you are in there. You either open this door or I’m coming through it!”

The doctor hesitated, not wanting to see his injured friend. “I mean it Rudy!” With a heavy sigh Rudy turned the knobbed, surprised to see the man standing with the help of a cane and his left arm in a sling.

Steve kept the shock from registering on his face at the disheartening sight of his friend. “Are you going to invite me in or what?”

Rudy remained silent and just stepped aside, letting Steve amble awkwardly in the door. The two sat in the living room for several minutes without saying anything, each lost in their own guilt over the situation.

Steve finally found the words to express his feelings. “Rudy I’m sorry for what happened to Michelle. I know how much she meant to you.”

The voice that responded was raspy from lack of sleep. “Thanks.” He looked at the floor and continued. “I’m sorry too.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For what happened to you. Because of my relationship with Michelle you may be permanently disabled.”

“Rudy, first of all my arm and leg are coming back. Secondly, I share half the responsibility for what happened.”

Rudy eyed him with puzzlement, “What are you talking about?”

“It was me who sent you to that conference. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have renewed your relationship with Michelle then had all this happen.”

“Steve, I don’t hold you responsible.” He stated simply. Steve let a small smile grace his lips. “I don’t hold you responsible either Rudy.”

The doctor let out a huge sigh feeling some of the weight of the past few weeks disappear. The two men sat quiet for a while just giving each other support and friendship. Steve knew Rudy would open up sooner or later and he was a patient man. Finally words were spoken. “I can’t believe she’s gone.” It was said softly but carried an immense weight. “I mean to find her after ten years… it’s just not fair.”

“Fate can be cruel sometimes. That’s for sure.” Rudy looked up to see Steve staring unfocused at his feet. With those words Rudy knew Steve understood completely what he was feeling.

“I don’t know how you ever got over Jaime. I mean you fell in love with her then she died. You mourned her death only to find out she was alive but you lost her all over again when her memory never returned. I now have a better understanding how much it must hurt just to be around her and not be with her you know?”

Steve nodded. “It was hard finding her after all those years and having everything fall into place… the engagement… planning the wedding…”

“It hurts like hell knowing I’ll never see Michelle again… talk to her again.. Like my heart has been ripped out.” He looked up to see Steve staring at him. “I don’t know how you can interact with Jaime after being so close to her.”

“It got easier when I finally convinced myself that she really did die that day on the operating table. At least the Jaime I knew and loved died. It did feel like someone reached down my throat and ripped my heart out. It took me a long time to work through it but it gets better with time.”

“But the pain never goes away.”

“No it doesn’t. Sometimes Jaime says something or does something that reminds me of my Jaime and it hurts just as much but it lessens with time. It has to you know?”

“Or else we couldn’t go on.” Rudy responded and Steve nodded in agreement.

The phone rang interrupting their talk. It was time for Rudy to handle the arrangements. After he hung up Steve slowly stood and placed a hand on Rudy’s shoulder. “Come on Rudy let me help you with the arrangements.”

The doctor just nodded and grabbed his coat and the two friends headed out.