Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. Yadda yadda yadda.

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Chapter Four - Trust Your Instincts

Spike hadn't survived this long, particularly the last couple unhappy chipped years, without impeccable timing and an instinct for the right time to cut your losses and run. It grated on his nerves, it went against his nature...but sometimes it was what you had to do. And he was nothing if not pragmatic.

Twice tonight he and the Buffybot had turned tail and run from overwhelming odds. Clearly the undead population of Sunnydale was less impressed with his faux Slayer than he'd hoped. He stole a rueful sideways glance at the robot as they rounded the corner to safety and could understand the problem. It just didn't quite measure up to the original. In so many ways.

Of course that didn't stop him from running his hands over every inch of lifelike flesh a moment later as he held its body against a mausoleum wall, kissing it with recklessness fueled by lust and their narrow escape. With his eyes closed, it was easier to pretend...but impossible to forget. A flash of painful memory made him open his eyes, just in time to see a shadow approaching. For a moment he steeled himself for a fight, but then he sensed a heartbeat; he wrested the crypt door open and shoved the robot inside.

"Spike?" it asked in confusion.

"Be quiet. This is hiding time," he said in a harsh whisper, shoving the door closed. He knew the robot wouldn't make a sound; it was programmed to be quiet at his command. He just managed to whirl around and lean nonchalantly against the door when Xander Harris walked around the corner, stake at the ready. The younger man started in surprise.

"Spike! What are you up to?"

"Same as you, I suspect. Doin' a bit of patrolling, keeping Sunnydale safe for girl scouts and puppies," Spike said quickly. Xander’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Right. I thought I heard other voices. You alone?"

"How else would I be, these days?" A moment of uncomfortable silence passed between them. Spike lit up a cigarette and eyed the boy with thinly disguised distaste. "Don't look at me like that, all pitying the poor heartbroken neutered vamp. Moves you to the top of my list of people I'm going to kill soon as I get my chip taken care of."

"Right. That threat's just as scary as it was - say, guess what? That threat's never been scary. But you're right about one thing. You're pitiful, Spike. And you know what else?"

"There's a vampire behind you?"

"No, that's not-What? Ooof!" Xander landed hard on his stomach from Spike's shove as the blonde moved in to take on the new threat. Unfortunately, his motivation behind the hard push was not entirely pure; the chip kicked in. Spike grabbed his head, moaning in pain. The attacking vampire was able to quickly get the upper hand, pinning Spike to the ground with a triumphant growl. The growl was followed briefly by a puzzled yelp before the vampire exploded into dust, and Spike looked up into Xander's serious brown eyes. Xander offered him a hand and Spike grudgingly let him help him to his feet.

"Even then,” Spike mumbled, not looking at the man who had just saved him. “One for one. No one owes anyone else."

"Yeah," Xander agreed. "But I was thinking...patrolling in pairs, better than single, you know?"

"I don't think..." Spike began, then stopped seeing Xander's distrustful frown return. "Fine. Once around the park, then I need to get back to my own business." The two headed off, Spike stealing nervous glances back over his shoulder at the crypt that held his secret. He hoped the robot would stick to its programming for once and await his return; sometimes it honed in on him instead. If that happened it was all over for the both of them.

"This is good," Xander said tentatively. "The patrolling, I mean."

"Sure, mate," Spike said with feigned disinterest. The truth was that on some level he had missed contact with the others. Talking to someone whose responses hadn't been programmed was kind of nice, even if it was just Xander Harris.

"We should maybe, you know, plan to do this. Sometimes."

"You asking me out, Harris?" Spike asked gruffly. To his surprise, Xander grinned.

"Yeah, it's the cheekbones, Spike. I can't resist your manly cheekbones." The two exchanged small chuckles, and Spike made a silent vow.

*The Buffybot stays my little secret. None of them must ever see it. They wouldn't understand.*

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"I can check in three days from now," Tara said suddenly. She and Willow had been eating breakfast in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Willow almost jumped out of her seat when Tara spoke; it took her a moment to process the words.

"Check in? To the hospital?" Willow’s quiet voice spoke volumes about how she felt about that idea.

"Yes," Tara said. Willow's frown deepened.

"But you said you haven't had any...episodes. Maybe...maybe we have time..." Willow’s hopeful voice trailed off at Tara’s sad but resolute expression.

"Episodes that I know of," Tara corrected gently. "It's only a matter of time, Will, and time's running out, we both know it is. In three days I probably won't even know who I am. Or where, so it won‘t matter."

"Don't say that!" Willow responded.

"I have to say it. You need to start...we need to accept it."

"I'll never accept it," Willow said, her resolve face set like stone. "Do you understand me? I'm never letting you go." Tara moved her chair closer to Willow. She reached out and took the redhead's face in both hands, wiping away the single tear that had trailed down despite the hard look in her eyes. She released her after a quick kiss.

"Please, baby. Don't make this so hard on yourself. I want you to be free of this, to live your life. To maybe, one day, love someone else." Willow turned her chair to face Tara's, her eyes glittering intensely.

"I won’t. I'll never love another woman," Willow vowed, and Tara frowned. She put her arms around her girlfriend and brought Willow's head to her shoulder, resting it there comfortingly.

"I need you to promise me you're not going to cut yourself off, Will. From other people, from your friends. From love."

"Tara-"

"Promise me," said Tara desperately. Willow nodded unhappily.

"I promise," Willow whispered, right before her mind slipped again. She grabbed hold of Tara's hair and began playing with it idly, fascinated by the way the light shone through it. "So pretty," she murmured.

"I think you're pretty too," Tara said, mistaking her girlfriend's sudden spaciness as just a sign of her general upset. She gave Willow another quick squeeze, then got up from the table. "I've got some things to do, before...do you want to come with me?" Willow shook her head, looking down, and Tara nodded sadly. "Then I'll see you later, okay?"

Willow didn't answer but her shoulders began to shake as she buried her face in her hands. Tara wanted to wrap her arms around her in comfort, but hesitated. This might be a good thing, a sign that Willow was coming to terms with what had to happen. Tara decided to leave her be, turning to leave with a shuddering sigh, almost a sob. Willow's hair was hanging in her face, obscuring her expression. If Tara had waited a few more moments, she would have seen Willow's expression as she lifted her head and known that something was seriously wrong. Because Willow wasn't crying. She was laughing, her eyes reflecting madness.

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So far Giles had been pleased with Cas on his first day. His work ethic was good, and despite making eyes at each other frequently, he and Anya had managed to keep their personal contact down to acceptable levels. A sudden thought made him frown as the young man helped him stack the bookshelves near the register.

"I almost forgot, Cas. Your magical experience. Can you tell me more about it? Is there any type of magic you're particularly adept at?" Giles asked. He was slightly embarrassed at his impulsive hiring of the boy without conducting a thorough interview and background check. Anya was working the register nearby, but he could tell her attention was more on the two of them than on the customers.

"My..." Cas began, then swallowed and continued more confidently, "The magician I worked for was really just an illusionist, but I've read a lot about real magick, too. I know a few little tricks that come in handy from time to time." From the expression on Anya's face, Giles could tell this was news to her as well. She had finally dispatched her last customer with perfunctory politeness and came to join them.

"You never told me that, Cas. You can do magick? Can you show me?" she asked, rapt attention in her eyes.

Cas blushed at her attention and nodded. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes...then faded and vanished like he'd never been there at all. The books he had been holding disappeared with him; the books in Giles' hands clattered to the floor. Anya gave a little breathless scream.

"It's okay, I'm right here," a voice came drifting down from above. Giles and Anya looked up to the loft, and saw Cass standing at the top of the ladder, looking down at them with a grin. He hurried back to join them the normal way, and Giles put his hand over his heart.

"Extraordinary. I do say you gave me a bit of a turn."

"That's British for 'You scared the bejeezus out of me,'" Anya quickly amended.

"I'm sorry...that's really my best trick, Mr. Gi-I mean, Giles. Short-range self-translocation."

"Yes. Well. That's a rather advanced type of spell, Cas. I'm surprised you managed it so easily."

"He should talk to Willow and Tara," Anya gushed. "Maybe they could all do spells together. Tara and Willow are friends of ours. They're witches, and they're lesbians so I know they won't try to steal you or anything." Cas looked bemused as Giles reddened and cleared his throat.

"Yes, well, Cas...I'm sure I don't need to tell you that magick, real magick, is nothing to be trifled with. If you do wish to try any new spells, I do hope you'll consult with me before proceeding."

"Sure," Cas replied easily. He picked up the books that Giles had dropped earlier and returned to shelving them, whistling happily. Giles looked over at Anya and saw that she was watching her new boyfriend and shivering. He drew her out of Cas' earshot.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm great," Anya replied softly. "It's just...I know Cas would never hurt me, but sometimes he still frightens me."

"In what way?" Giles asked, frowning in paternal concern. Anya was one of his own and he would not have her being hurt.

"Yeah, right! Like you haven't noticed how threatening he seems. Honestly, I was a bit worried about that he might scare off customers, but they seem to like him."

Giles walked away, mentally shaking his head. She was a unique girl, that was for certain; he never would understand the things that frightened her. Giles stopped in his tracks, a strange thought almost forming in his head. Before he could really get a handle on it, it was gone. If anyone had been looking at him in that moment, they would have seen his eyes flash silver for a second. Giles shook himself as if waking from a daydream.

"Where was I just going? I swear, senility is just around the corner...ah, yes. Leads on Dawn," he said, heading back into his office to make more telephone calls. He hated to think what the girl might be going through, out there on her own. He would find her and bring her home. He had to.

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At first there was the Pain, and the Pain was in her and with her and around her and it had always been there. Sometimes she dreamed of a time before the Pain, and there were faces there, faces that she almost knew...and then the Pain came and destroyed the dream, reminded her that there was no before, there was only the Pain.

There was a sound, it was faint and hard to hear, but she strained her ears just the same. She was tired of listening to her own screams, tired of only knowing the Pain. The sound was drums, growing louder and louder until she could no longer hear her own screams. And with the drums came light, light that surrounded her like a bubble and suddenly the Pain was gone, as if it had never been. She wept cleansing tears, and each tear that hit the bubble seemed to make it grow lighter and fly higher, higher until she saw nothing but empty sky. She was not afraid of floating in this void, not while surrounded by the bubble that was made of good feelings, feelings of peace and love and joy; feelings she was beginning to remember. She saw the silvery rift that tore through the emptiness for only a moment before she passed through it, but it was also familiar...and then the bubble faded and there was blood and dirt and the drums were back. The drums the drums and they were so loud she covered her ears until finally she faded back into blackness, not knowing what would happen next and no longer caring because the Pain was gone, was gone for good. Somewhere deep in her consciousness she heard a man's voice, his words making her wonder momentarily and in the next moment forgotten.

"It is done. Blood has restored blood. The Warrior of the Light walks the earth again."

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