Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long with this, as well as other fic I've got in progress...I've broken my wrist, and still have at least two weeks before the cast comes off, which has made it extremely hard - and occasionally painful - to type. Thanks for your patience!

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of its characters belong to Joss & Co. And this section seems to require a second disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and all of its characters belong to Gene Roddenberry & Co. Yes, they're not mine either. Or Xander's, for that matter.

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Four figures emerged in a corner of the Val-U-Land mall from an entrance that appeared out of thin air. Two of them, the witches that had created it, emerged serenely, but their two companions were more than a little frazzled.

"Okay, I think I preferred the motorcycle," Buffy said shakily. "Even with the bugs in teeth factor." Willow grimaced apologetically.

"Sorry about that...we had to alter the spell a bit to adjust to the time stream. We should actually be here before we left there...if you know what I mean. It makes for a bumpy ride."

"We went back in time?" Buffy asked. "How far back? Like, I'm not gonna meet my mom at my age or something, right? Because I will never be ready for that, I want that on the record."

Willow and Tara exchanged amused glances.

"Not more than half an hour, but probably less," Tara answered. "Xander and the others should be here, or about to get here...but we should be in time to make the spell work."

Spike was desperately patting down his arms and legs. To cover her own disconcert, she focused on him with a frown. "What are you doing?"

"Got no reflection, luv, can you check to see if I've still got all the important parts."

Buffy flashed her teeth at him evilly.

"None of your parts are particularly important," she said, happy when his face fell momentarily before he set his jaw.

"Like you'd know which parts of a man were-"

"Quiet," Willow admonished softly. "I think I hear-Oh! I see Xander!"

The group of them saw Xander standing with his arms crossed, half-smiling to himself.

"Where are the Vikings?" Tara whispered, then added a soft, "Oh!" when they saw the four emerging from the ladies' room.

"Do I even want to know what that's about?" Buffy asked rhetorically, making a face. At that moment the alarm went off, making them all wince.

"They're just standing there!" Willow said in confusion. "How'd they manage to set off the alarm?"

"Where the hell is Spike?" Buffy asked in response. The three girls looked around, each wearing matching expressions of disgust. "I don't believe this...he is so dusted!"

"Whoa, there they go!" Willow cried out as Xander took off, his four oddly dressed companions trailing behind. "Where are they going?"

"Doesn't matter, Will. You guys, can you do the spell?" Buffy asked nervously. "Cause, ummm, company coming." She gestured towards the uniformed men now running past them, making a beeline for the strangely dressed 'gang' they were watching. One of the Vikings was trying to get Xander's attention, but he hadn't turned around.

"It would be easier if we could hear ourselves-" Tara started , her hands still over her ears. Willow interrupted, her eyes darkening, the one word she spoke somehow carrying over the din even though she was speaking softly.

"Silence." The alarm stopped immediately.

"Think," Tara finished lamely. She looked at Willow and nodded, and the two witches clasped hands. Buffy was watching nervously as the five men broke into a desperate sprint, the officers behind shouting for them to stop. The witches both had closed eyes and were chanting something in one of those languages Buffy didn't know. She knew it was magickal by the swirling pink light that had surrounded them. She hoped none of the guards turned around, they were calling more than a little attention to themselves over here.

"Hurry up," she breathed. Willow and Tara's eyes snapped open, and the pink energy moved away from them, covering Xander and his future in-laws in a light pink haze. The same energy circled the security guards for a moment before dissipating. The officers stopped, momentarily confused, then a few of them took out their handcuffs and slapped them onto no one. They headed back past Buffy and the witches, acting all the while as if they had captured the mall intruders.

Xander, meanwhile, could be seen within the fading pink cloud to be staring in disbelief at nothing, while the Vikings seemed to be very happy about something. They all had their weapons drawn. Buffy took all of this in and nodded uncertainly.

"I'm taking this as a good sign...so, did it work?"

"I know it worked on the guards, and I'm pretty sure-" Will said. They all heard Xander's shouting of Willow's name with the Viking echo, and the redhead winced.

"It worked on them too," Tara said unnecessarily.

"He sounds mad, huh?" Willow said in a meek voice. Buffy clasped her hand on her friend's shoulder comfortingly.

"He'll thank you later, Will. Come on, they're on the move."

"Wait, Buffy, aren't you forgetting something?" At the Slayer's confused look, Tara amended, "I mean, s-someone?"

"Right. Spike," Buffy said, looking like she had just tasted something questionable. She sighed. "You guys follow them, I'll track down Blondie and make sure he's under wraps.

"Okay," Willow said. As she and Tara started off, Buffy called, "Be careful!" Willow and Tara both gave her looks of caution, and Buffy realized that while Xander and the Vikings might be hidden from the cops, she was not. She clasped her hand over her mouth to let them know she'd gotten the point. Willow gave her a hesitant wave, then the two witches hurried around the corner.

"Okay, if I was a not-so-bright, bleached blonde, scrawny and generally unpleasant vampire, where would I-"

"Who's scrawny?"

"Nygah!" Buffy exclaimed, right before his hand went over her mouth. He removed it a second later, and she continued softly. "What are you doing? That's a good way to become a dust bunny."

"Sorry," Spike said in a breezy tone that meant he was anything but.

"You were stealing, weren't you? Come on, give me what you got."

"I wasn't! Just gettin' the lay of the land. There's an entertainment center've got my eye on-"

"You were window shopping?" Buffy asked incredulously. "Now?"

"S'not like it's a crime!" Spike responded indignantly. "Where's Junior? And the Hairy Light Brigade?"

"Tara and Willow are tailing them."

"Spell worked then?"

"Yeah. I just hope it lasts long enough."

********

Xander felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. Ten minutes ago he had been fleeing from uniformed officers in the mall; now he was trading blows with a medieval guard using a broadsword, and not doing too badly. If it wasn't for the eminent threat of death and the fact he had no idea how he was supposed to get back to his own time, he might have even been enjoying himself. As it was, he was alternately cursing Willow and cursing himself for letting himself get into this predicament in the first place, gritting his teeth each time the swords collided.

"Because...no, couldn't find a nice...girl...who actually had no...demon...connections...at all...instead you had...to fall...in love...with a girl who...cursed...men for...a thousand...years...and then...thought...you'd have...a normal...relationship..."

"Alexander!" Svein called. "May we kill these jackals and get on with the pillaging?"

"Go for it," Xander grunted, then amended, "Do what you have to do, boys. Follow my lead."

********

"Gosh, they really think they're fighting people," Tara said in amazement. "I mean, I knew the spell would do that, but it's so weird to watch them...like seeing only one half of a play." Noting the silent unhappiness on her girlfriend's face, she said, "I don't think he really meant those things, honey. He's just upset right now."

"He hates me, Tara. He's never gonna forgive me for this. And it's all my fault, so I can't really blame him."

"Sweetie, you made a mistake. And what you're doing now is going to help him out of it. Besides it was Buffy's idea. And it's not even real."

"It doesn't matter. I've lost my best friend, because I did a stupid spell."

"You wanted to make Anya happy, hon. Sure, the idea might not have been the best...but your heart was in the right place. And once the wedding goes off, and Xander cools down..."

"Oh goddess, the wedding! I was supposed to be...he probably won't even want me there now!" Willow cried, and Xander and the Vikings suddenly stood still, looking confused. Tara grabbed Willow's hands desperately.

"Come on, honey, get a grip. We're losing our illusion here."

********

Xander felt dizzy. For a moment he thought he was standing back in the Val-U-Land mall, very near to Vito's Pizzeria...then he was back in the castle with another guard lifting his sword over his head. Xander wounded him then advanced further, shouting for the others to continue. He finally had an open corridor up ahead and now was not the time to try to ponder why he kept phasing in and out of time. If, in fact, that was what was happening. He was starting to wonder. When they had rounded the corner they stopped, as before them was a treasure trove of jewels, all nestled behind what looked like panes of glass. Xander realized when he looked at his companions that this was exactly what they had been expecting to find. He reached out and touched it and yelped when he felt the cold.

"Ice. And it feels totally real," he marveled. "How did she do that?"

"How did who do what?" Leif asked, and Xander shook his head.

"Nothing," he said, then gestured towards the wall. "Bring a torch. We'll need to melt the ice to get the jewels out."

"Will that work?" Erik asked. "The ice is surely maintained by some evil magicks."

"Then...we'll just have to do a little magick on the fire, to counter that magick..." Xander said loudly, hoping Willow could effect the miracle he wanted. "Like...like a Snoopy dance, or something..."

******

"He knows," Willow said softly.

"What?" Tara asked.

"He knows it's not real. He's figured it out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Willow breathed, closing her eyes and gathering her focus. "He's asking for my help." Before Tara could react, the red-haired witch took off running towards Xander.

"Wait, Will, this wasn't part of the plan!" Tara called feebly after her. "Uh-oh."

******

Xander felt a warm hand on own his chilled one a moment before Willow suddenly appeared from nowhere. He noted with some amusement that she was dressed in an outfit fairly identical to her Joan of Arc Halloween costume. She smiled at him sheepishly, then squeaked when she felt a sword against her throat.

"The witch dies!" Gardar roared.

"No!" Xander cried. "Don't hurt her. She's with us." When Gardar didn't move, he added, "Friend. On our side. Here to help us." Finally he said sternly, "Usually I don't greet my friends with a sword against their throats. Drop it. Now!" Reluctantly Gardar removed the blade.

"You have many female friends, Alexander," Leif said suspiciously. "The blonde wench, and now this witch."

"How do you know? That I'm a witch," Willow said heatedly. "M-maybe I'm a wench. Or maybe I'm both. Maybe I'm a witch-wench."

"Will..." Xander warned, and she looked apologetic. He continued on to Leif, "Willow is Anya's friend also. And she is a witch, but she's a good witch, who's gonna help us with the pillaging. And before you start on the whole 'man's world' riff, let me add that there's magick here too powerful for us to defeat and we need her help. Unless you want to risk the, umm, consequences I mentioned earlier?" Off Willow's confused look, he said, "I told them...about the parts, falling...you know, the man parts..."

"Oh! Right! Eww! That would be...ewww...I mean...and there's no spell to counter it," Will finished in a rush. To her relief, the Vikings seemed fairly well convinced.

"We have to let Willow do a spell that will help us get the jewels. Get the fire to melt the ice," he told them, then added in a whisper to her, "which we wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't put them in the ice. Why, Will?"

"I didn't do it," Willow protested. "You did."

"And to that I say, huh?"

"This illusion, it's a spell of collective expectation."

"Thanks, Will. That clears it up. A spell of collective expectation. Of course. I should have realized that when I almost got my head chopped off and froze my fingers off. Although the fact that I have no idea what that is might have gotten in the way."

"Look, Xander, it's bad that you know this. It affects the spell integrity, which is why it's doubly important that your friends here continue to think this is real. As long as they do, it's like you're on the holodeck on Next Generation, playing a pillaging scenario. Oh, no," she gasped, burying her face in her hands as the Vikings gave a collective shout. A woman wearing a skintight body suit, with a small amount of metal attached to her head had appeared from nowhere and was now regarding them placidly. "I knew I shouldn't have made a Trek reference. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Wow. Seven of Nine," Xander gaped at the woman, who regarded him with cool amusement.

"You are interesting. What is your designation?" Seven of Nine asked.

"Xander," Willow said warningly. Her friend was still staring open-mouthed at the Borg that had suddenly become a part of their medieval landscape.

"This is amazing, Will. She's so real!" Xander said in a dreamy tone.

"Indulge your fantasies later!" Willow hissed, pinching his arm angrily. "You need to focus. I'm going to do a 'spell' on this torch and you are going to get rid of her!"

"What kind of devil is she, Alexander?" Svein cried out. Xander saw how frightened his future brothers-in-law were of the fictional character and grinned.

"Don't worry, men. I'll take care of this one," Xander said, approaching Seven of Nine who regarded him with mild curiosity. "Look, Seven. I hate to do this, honest I do, but see those men? They think you're a demon."

"Really? How interesting."

"Yeah...it is...listen, so, because they think you're some sort of demon and I, I've got to prove I'm one of them so I can marry the girl I love...and, well, you're not actually real, so...I'm gonna have to do this," he said, raising his sword and beheading the former Borg. He looked down at her and shrugged. "Sorry!" He looked back at the Vikings and shrugged again. "S'okay guys. Took care of her for ya."

The Vikings gaped at him, clearly impressed.

"You showed great courage, Alexander. That demon was...was..." Erik struggled for the right word.

"She was pretty hot, huh?" Xander offered, his eyes glazing slightly.

"...horrible!" The Viking finished, and Xander blanched

"That's what I said...hot-ribble. Horrible." The thee others nodded agreement, and all four came to clasp Xander on the back.

"Alexander, your bravery is worthy of song," Gardar crowed.

"Song? Nah..."

"Ahem," Willow said, rolling her eyes at Xander. "If the backslapping session's over, maybe you boys want to get back to the pillaging?" She raised her hands and blue fire crackled from her fingers. The torch momentarily glowed the same electric blue, then faded to its normal color. She handed it to Xander with a nod, and he immediately held it against the ice. There was a shimmer, some smoke, and then the jewels sat unprotected. The Vikings all backed away in amazed alarm as Xander handed the torch back to Willow. He cocked an eyebrow at them, realizing it was her they were afraid of.

"Starting to get why you guys do this 'no girls allowed thing'," Xander drawled. "You're scared of them."

"Witches are devils," Svein confirmed.

"I'm not a devil," Willow protested, annoyed, as she gently nudged Xander towards the jewels. He eyed her doubtfully and she sighed. "You have to believe, Xander. Get them. And get them to get them. Now, I've got to go...I'm not supposed to be here, and the longer I'm inside with you..."

******

"...the more unstable the spell becomes," Tara was explaining to Buffy and Spike. Buffy looked frustrated.

"Why did Will do this?"

"She thought Xander had figured something out. She did the right thing if he did. It could ruin everything."

"Excuse me, Tara, but when you say 'unstable' you don't just mean that the spell'll go poof and they won't get to play 'storm the bloody castle' anymore, do you?" Spike asked. Tara shook her head.

"No, I mean it won't be as focused on them...like when the guards were caught in the spell. Will and I were able to compensate for that, but while she's in there, well, it's kind of like putting kindling on a fire."

"The spell gets bigger?"

"Sorry, kindling probably not the best analogy. More like gasoline. Lots of people may start seeing things that aren't real, and they won't know, because it...well, let's just say it could be very confusing."

"Because it's clear as crystal now," Spike sardonically drawled.

"I'm sorry," Tara blushed, "I know Willow could probably explain it better."

"Bottom line, if Will doesn't get away from them..."

*****

"There's no telling what would be affected," Willow finished. "So-"

"Oh no..." Xander moaned. He turned his head away, blinking rapidly to try to clear his vision then looked back. "No change. Oh boy."

"What?" Willow demanded. Xander shook his head. The Willow he was now looking at had glowing red eyes and long dripping fangs.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." Xander said.

"I do, I...oh!" Willow caught her own reflection in he ice walls. She looked back at Xander. "This isn't good..."

"We need to hurry," Xander said, a bit pale. "Better scram, Will." Willow nodded, but found herself held fast in Leif's beefy arms.

"Hey!" both Xander and Willow exclaimed in unison.

"You should not trust this witch, Alexander."

"What do you mean? She's been great! She's been helping us!"

"She means to bring us harm," Leif insisted.

"All the more reason to let her go...no, seriously, let go of her. Now!" Xander demanded, but Leif shook his head stubbornly. Xander was alarmed to see the other Vikings nodding agreement.

"She will destroy us," Gardar chimed in.

"Willow wouldn't do that!" Xander insisted.

"That's right...Xander is my friend! And Anya...Anya too...is my friend..." Willow said, faltering slightly, but she finished sincerely, "and I just want to help them get married!"

"She cannot be trusted," Svein said solemnly.

"That you would put such trust in such a woman is...alarming," Erik said sadly to Xander.

"She is clearly evil...she has bewitched you..." Leif declared in excitement. Gardar held his sword to Willow's throat and she gave a frightened squeak as the Viking eyed Xander gravely.

"There is only one way to release you from her spell."

*******

So I thought this would be it, but I thought wrong...one more chapter, I'll wrap it up. Honest.