Title: Breaking The Girl

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Through the End of Season 3, I guess. But really, none.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going. Also can be found at Crazy Melty Land (https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/crazymeltyland)

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: A little 2nd person angst from you-should-know-who. I'll give you a hint: he's dark and glowery. :)

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She looks like she would break if you squeezed her too hard. Like she would shatter into a million pieces. Always her greatest weapon, you know. Not super-strength or stakes or history or magic or friends. Just the illusion that she's weak and helpless. Everyone always underestimated her and that's why they failed.

They never knew how to break her, never knew the secret. You were always the only one who could do that. Because you loved her.

It took time, of course, as most things do. Time is the key to everything, but vampires have loads of it. Time does funny things to both people and vampires, though, inside your head. Events, memories, they all get messed up. You start thinking things were different, that feelings were different, that what you thought had to be impossible might just be okay. You start to wonder if she feels the way you do. You feel guilty about how you left her when she really needed you, and you think, maybe, just maybe...maybe you could make it work now. Maybe you could love each other enough, you could...

You never could, of course. You know that, you know, but you make yourself forget. Forget about how hard it was to be with her and not be able to give her everything. Forget about how part of you just can't get over everything that happened. Forget, ignore, make believe, pretend, disregard...you just want it so badly. You want to be happy.

The good news is, she can't make you happy. The bad news is, same goes for you.

But you try. You just can't help yourself.

And she tries, because she can't make herself walk away. Not like you.

It nearly kills you both, the whole thing. But in the end, it doesn't, does it? Of course, one of you is already dead, so the point may be moot. You know now it will never work, not for her, not for you, and so you try to do the right thing, again, only this time...this time there is no right thing. Not anymore. Things are different, she's different, too much has happened, and...

She looks like she would break if you squeezed her too hard, and she would. Corpses are so fragile.

You should know.

You were always the one who could break her. You only had to love her. And to leave her. Twice.

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FIN