Title: Green Icing Flowing Down
Author: Jeanny
E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com
Feedback: Please do!
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Season 6 Through Gone with Spoiler-y Speculation...
Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story. Oh, and the song belongs to songwriter Jimmy Webb...bless him.
Summary: A scene from Xander and Anya`s unusual wedding reception - contains some spoilers, but mostly just my own brand of silliness...
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"Extraordinary."
Buffy lifted her head from where it was resting on her folded arms and gave her Watcher a bleary look of annoyance. After the wedding had finally taken place, they had discovered that there were any number of special blessings Anya wanted to have performed. While Giles was totally in his element watching these arcane, rarely seen rituals, Buffy was about ready to kill someone, preferably one of the guests. It was currently a toss up between Xander's incurably rude Aunt Florence and a Chaos demon that had slimed her repulsive bridesmaid`s dress during the receiving line. And if she was totally honest with herself, having to watch Spike pawing his skanky, scrawny, badly-in-need-of-dental-floss `date' wasn't exactly improving her mood. Since her head was up, she shot a scowl in their direction for good measure before returning her glare to Giles.
"No, not extraordinary. Hideous maybe. Gut-wrenching probably."
"Like a car accident. Only with demons," Tara added helpfully. Buffy gave her a small smile, then frowned as she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. "Uh-oh. Quick, someone better get Willow away from D'Hoffryn. That`s the only thing I can think of that could make this any worse-"
"Ladies and gentlemen," the band's singer announced into the microphone. "It's time for the bride and groom's first dance." A smattering of polite applause and some rubbing of antennae met the announcement, totally covering Buffy's audible moan.
"They`re going to dance now?" Buffy asked incredulously, somewhat relieved to see Willow disengaging herself from conversation with Anya's former boss and coming over.
"Finally some music. I`ve been bored out of my skull," Buffy heard Spike say from behind her. She looked over at him and raised her eyebrow to see he was alone. "Powder room. Girl got a bit...mussed. You know how it is." he said smugly.
"Does anyone know what their song is?" Willow asked as she returned to her seat. She gave Tara a quick smile, which her former girlfriend uneasily returned. "Xander wouldn't tell me." The first bars of the song began, and the collective mouths of all occupants of Table 3 fell open. The band's singer approached the microphone and began singing in a low emotional voice.
Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
"Bloody hell," Spike swore as Xander and Anya gamely swayed to the music.
"I was wrong. It can get worse," Buffy added miserably.
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants
"Love's hot, fevered iron?" Tara said. "Did you know those were the words?"
MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
"`Oh, no' is right...looks like some of the natives are getting restless..." Willow observed. Sure enough there was some muted grunts and shoving coming from Table Ten.
"Ooooh! Can I slay them?" Buffy asked.
"They're Xander's cousins, Buffy."
I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
"Dress on the ground...sound familiar, pet?"
"Shut up, Spike."
The birds like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees
"Who picks this as a wedding song?" Willow asked wonderingly.
"I don't know...I'm finding it oddly appropriate." The table turned to look incredulously at Giles.
MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
"Now what are they doing?" Spike asked, squinting unnecessarily as he tilted his head.
"I think that's supposed to be the Lambada," Willow said in amusement.
A hand suddenly appeared in Buffy's face, she looked up to see the hand belonged to Tito the Wonder Plumber, currently wearing a hopeful smile.
"Dance?" he asked. A quick glance showed her that the floor was now filling with couples, and in some cases singles. She was about to demur when she was pulled to her feet from the other side.
"I asked the lady first," Spike lied, dragging Buffy to the dance floor roughly. The music had slowed considerably, and a sigh escaped her lips as he pulled her to him. The lyrics suddenly seemed to be speaking to her melancholy heart.
There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one
"What are you thinking?" Spike asked quietly. Startled from her reverie, Buffy pulled slightly away and looked up at him.
"I was thinking your date's been in the powder room a long time," she lied.
"Oh," Spike shrugged. "Her. Sent her home."
"Why?"
"She wouldn't do the chicken dance."
"What?"
I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
"The chicken dance. Come on, luv."
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why
"This has to be the most inappropriate wedding song ever...Giles, why are they all doing the chicken dance?" Tara asked.
"I'm not really sure...but look at Spike! Ha!"
"Oh, now Buffy's trying to get off the floor but they won't let her...oh, that's gotta hurt," Willow said, wincing as a demon landed a few feet off the dance floor. A roar swelled over the overly long instrumental, and the dancing soon became much more of a contact sport.
"Would it be terribly rude if we, ummm, left now?" Giles asked weakly.
"Yup." Tara and Willow said in unison, then Willow added. "Besides, Xander and Anya are out in the middle of that...shouldn't we, you know, rescue them?"
At that moment the music changed to an up-tempo beat, and the brawling crowd dispersed off the dance floor, propelled by the bride and groom's frenzied flailing.
"Never mind," Willow said.
The guests that were still standing watched with entertained horror as the couple whirled about the floor.
"Where's Buffy?" Tara suddenly wondered.
"I don't see her now. Or Spike," Willow said.
"Perhaps he brought her outside to cool her off," Giles observed.
The interminably long instrumental section finally came to an end, and the singer stepped back to the mic with dramatic flourish.
MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
"Grand finale!" Anya panted. Her new husband nodded, panting as well. He sent his wife spinning away from him to the far end of the dance floor. With a look of intense concentration, she came running at him like Jennifer Gray in Dirty Dancing.
Oh, no!
Guests quickly scattered as the bride flew over their heads.
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!
"Somebody better call an ambulance," Tara said as she and Willow hurried over, followed closely by a head-shaking Giles, who could only sum up the entire experience with one word.
"Extraordinary."
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