Title: I Started A Joke

Author: Jeanny

Rating: G

Feedback: Please. jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Spoilers: Season 4 Through Home and some mild Season 5 spoilers.

Distribution: I don't mind, just credit me and let me know where it's going.

Summary: Just because you’re in a coma, doesn’t mean you don’t have something to say (Cordelia’s POV)

Disclaimer: Angel and all the characters that appear on the show are the exclusive property of Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, Inc., the WB and any one else with a legal binding claim to the shows and/or characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

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I bet they all think this is funny. The Powers That Be, I mean. It’s all a game to them, I think, and I’m some kind of pawn in it, not important at all. It really hurts, because anyone that knows me knows I’m a queen. Queen C, they used to call me, back before it all went wrong.

There‘s nothing humorous about any of this. I bought into the whole “higher being” thing. I haven’t felt like this much of a chump since I joined the Nelson fan club back in grade school. Check that, since Xander Harris. Oh, wait, no, since I dated that guy that turned me into an after school special unwed mom having demon spawn, like, overnight. Or maybe since I thought Harmony was gay and she wound up just being a vampire, because my face was really red...

Oh, and speaking of Harmony, what gives? Not only does Angel give her my old job, but she’s been put in charge of my wardrobe! She does my hair and my makeup and decides what they’re dressing me in every day. Oh God, it’s humiliating. She’s treating me like I’m one of those Make Me Pretty Barbie heads we used to play with when we were kids. And she’s using themes! Today’s theme is The Good Ship Lollipop. I look like a cross between a hooker and Shirley Temple.

No wonder Angel never comes to see me anymore.

None of them come to see me anymore, except Lorne. He sings to me. It’s sort of comforting. I just wish he’d sing some happy songs instead of ballads and lullabies. You know, something to make me laugh. I miss laughing. I really wish someone would tell me a joke that I could laugh at. I’m sick to death of being one.

Did you hear the one about the really super rich girl who lost all her money and moved to LA and started working for a vampire and fell in love with a half-demon who died and left her his visions so that she would have massive headaches and wind up being tricked into becoming part demon herself and then ascending in a big lie fest that culminated in her sleeping with a boy that she thought of as her son and giving birth to a child that almost brainwashed all of humanity into giving up their free will and falling into a coma?

Thought so.

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Feedback’s always nice.