Title: There's A Little Life In You Yet

Author: Jeanny

Distribution: I don't mind, just credit me and let me know where it's going.

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Possible Season 6 through All The Way

Feedback: Please. jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Summary: Spike tries to talk to Buffy, after. Sequel to A Little Death.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Buffy characters, except in my dreams. I also don't make money by using them, or I wouldn't be so poor.

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"I don't want to talk about it," Buffy said, walking faster. If her pursuer had been human, she would have left him in the dust a long time ago. Unfortunately for her, he wasn't.

"We have to talk about it, luv. I want to talk about it. I want to shout it from the rooftops...or at least the crypt tops." This statement stopped her cold. She whirled about, grabbing his jacket and hauling him closer, her face red with anger and exertion. And judging by her heartbeat, excitement.

"No! You can't tell anyone...what we did," she said, letting go and looking away. Spike glowered at her.

"Oh, I get it. Ashamed of me, are you?" he asked, turning to walk away, stopping when he felt her hand grab his sleeve almost gently.

"Spike, it's not you. It's me. This was my fault. You're just all...animal instincts, but I'm supposed to have sense." Buffy slumped disconsolately on a nearby tombstone, burying her face in her hands. "Plus, I'm the Slayer, and now I've slept with not one, but two vampires. They're going to start calling me Buffy the Vampire Slut." He took a seat on the grave marker directly across from her, regarding her for a long moment.

"Did it work?" he finally asked. She looked up from his hands, frowning.

"What?"

"Still want to die? Still want me to kill you?" he asked casually. She stood up and began pacing a bit, her head down, not looking at him.

"Yes, I want to die. I want the ground to open and swallow me up. I'm praying for another apocalypse so that I never have to deal with this." He stood gracefully as she was about to pass and grabbed her arms, stopping her in her tracks. She stayed there, still looking down until he raised her chin with one finger and locked his gaze with hers. His blue eyes burned like ice, cold fire. She shivered. "No, I don't want you to kill me."

"What do you want me to do to you?" he asked, cupping her cheek with his whole hand and running his thumb over her mouth. She reached her hand behind his head and brought him closer to her, arching up towards him as he moved in for a kiss. Their lips met for a tantalizing moment before she pulled herself away, gasping.

"Stop it," she said, her voice shaking. Spike shook his head, his face twisting into a pained smile.

"Right then. I'm off," he said, walking off. He heard her call after him desperately.

"No, wait..." He hated himself for turning, for letting himself be drawn back in, for not having the strength to end this. For hoping.

"You told me to stop. Isn't that what you want?" he asked, reaching out and touching her hair in spite of himself. She ran her fingers lightly over his chest, feeling her heartbeat quicken. Uncertainty and desire were warring in her gaze.

"Yes, I...don't..." she began, pulling him back towards her. He rested one hand lightly on her hip and placed light kisses on the corner of her mouth, gradually kissing his way down her neck as he spoke.

"You're not making sense, luv. Stop, don't stop. I think you're confused." He had reached her jugular vein, and he now found different kinds of lust coming to the fore. He struggled to keep from slipping into his game face as Buffy moaned in pleasure.

"Mmmm-hmmm...hey!" The exclamation came as he shoved her almost roughly away.

"I'm not going to be your toy, Slayer. I love you too much. It...hurts...too much. You want me, you can have me, but you're going to have to say it." If he still had a beating heart, it might have stopped at that moment. Spike couldn't believe he'd had the courage to say those words. Now he would lose her forever. Before he could open his mouth to take them back, she astonished him by speaking.

"I...I want you," she said, trembling. He looked in her eyes and saw it was true; she was trembling with need, aching for him to touch her. He reached out to take her in his arms...and stopped.

"Why?" he asked. It was hard to say which of them was more surprised by the question.

"Huh?" she said blankly. Words came tumbling out of Spike's mouth, things he never thought he would be able to say. Things he didn't even know he wanted to say.

"I need to know why. Do you care about me at all? Is it just to make you forget about everything? Am I just some kind of surrogate for the Great Poof? Please say no to the last, I might have to stake myself." Spike closed his eyes and waited. Again he was certain that he'd said too much, that this would be the end of everything. He felt her hand on his cheek and looked into her eyes, stunned to see the emotions there.

"When Angel kissed me, I felt like I could die," Buffy said fervently. "When you kiss me, Spike...when we...I feel like...like I could live."

This time neither one of them wanted to push the other away. This kiss was full of longing, and tenderness, and something that Buffy wasn't ready to call love. All she knew was that in this moment, she had recaptured a little bit of what she had lost. And that was enough to live for.

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