Title: Lost in the Translation

Author: Jeanny

Parts: 4

Spoilers: Season 5 through The Body

Rating: PG

Feedback: Yes, please! jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and tell me where it's going.

Disclaimer: Although characters having words presence not of myself, others have use them for money. Merely tootling my horn. (Translation: please don’t sue me, I’m making no money from any of this!)

Summary: Four brief vignettes involving Buffy/Angel characters and signs actually spotted in foreign countries...pure silliness!

Dedication: For Bluerose, who made me laugh with the signs and inspired all this nonsense. You rock, my sistah!

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Lost in Translation I: Buffy in Austria

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Sign in an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
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Buffy raised her knife. The brightly colored figure cowered in fear.

"There will be no Ascension on my watch, got it buddy? Now be a good demon and die for me-"

"Stop! Buffy, don't!" A harried looking Giles ran down the hall toward them. Buffy looked mildly put out.

"Giles, you told me I had to stop anyone wearing the Boots of Ascension from perambulating the corridors in the hours of repose. I admit, I didn't get that, but look! Demon! Perambulating! I kill now!"

“Buffy, I may have misunderstood...that is not a demon.”

“Giles, look at it. Look at its feet!”

“Those are ski boots, Buffy.” Buffy stared at the cowering man, who was verging on passing out.

“Please don’t kill me,” the skier managed to say in halting English.

“Oh,” Buffy said softly, her face coloring in embarrassment as she realized she was holding a knife to the man with no real explanation. Thinking fast, she continued, “Oh! What are you thinking, clunking around the hotel in those things at this time of night? People are trying to sleep around here! Management’s not kidding around, you know! Now get out of here.” The man ran away as fast as his ski boots would allow, as Buffy called after him one more time.

“And next time, read the sign!”

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