Title: Reconnect

Author: Jeanny

Disclaimer: I own nothing and none of these characters are mine. I’m merely borrowing them. If I did own them, I’d be a very happy (and way wealthier) girl!

Distribution: I don‘t mind, just credit me and let me know where it’s going.

Rating: PG

SPOILERS: Season 5 through The Body.

Feedback: Please! jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

SUMMARY: While still dealing with Joyce’s death, Willow gets a surprise visit from her own mother.

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On what she was certain was the longest day of her young life, Willow Rosenberg had finally reached her dorm room yet again. She stood outside her door, suddenly unwilling to enter. After doing her best to help Buffy and Dawn through the ordeal of making arrangements for their mother’s funeral, the constant emotional onslaught had taken its toll. She was completely drained, and the thought of facing the mess she had left behind yesterday was more than she could bear at that moment. She had spent the night at the Summers house, along with Giles and Tara, but there had really been no sleeping going on. This afternoon she had convinced Tara to go home and get some sleep, on the condition that she do the same. Which she was now doing. Seven hours later.

*The pile of clothes can keep till tomorrow. I need to get out of these clothes, get a shower, and get some sleep,* she thought to herself. Thus resolved, she pushed her key into her lock, only to discover that the door pushed open without her turning the key. *Please don’t tell me I was so out of it yesterday that I left this unlocked. I can’t have been that stupid!* She was still chiding herself when she stepped into the room and noticed three things. There was no unsightly pile of clothes on her bed any longer. There was no Tara. And her mother was sitting on her papasan chair.

“M-m-m-mom?” Sheila Rosenburg struggled indelicately out of the chair, smoothing down her skirt and stepping slowly to the center of the room.

“Hello, Willow.”

“H-h-h-how did you -”

“Oh. I asked the young man down the hall - the Resident Agent, his name is Kenny, I think?”

Almost involuntarily Willow shook her head *His name is Kelly. Oh, but that means Tara probably went back to her own room, then.*

“Anyway,” her mother continued, “I told him I was your mother and he let me in. I was surprised to find out you - I thought you were staying with Bunny.”

“Buffy, Mom. Her name is Buffy. And we were roommates in our freshman year. Last year. This year I’m - I’m here,” Willow amended hastily. She had been about to mention that she was mostly staying with Tara, but that would have opened the whole Tara conversation. Which she had not yet had. Which today was so not the day to have. She looked at her mother, noting that she seemed to be studying her.

“Mom?” she finally asked wearily.

“You cut your hair again.”

“Months ago. Mom -”

“So how’s the musician? Oz? You two haven’t been to the house for dinner in months.” Willow walked past her mother and sank onto her bed wearily. *Sure, HIS name she can remember...*

“We broke up last year, Mom. He’s been gone for over a year.”

“Really?” Her mother moved back to sit with her on the bed, provoking an spontaneous sigh from Willow. Willow shut her eyes tightly. *This is a nightmare I’m having that I will wake up from any second now.* She surreptitiously pinched herself near the elbow. *Oww! Shoot, not a dream.* She opened her eyes and studied her mother, noting for the first time that she was staring at her hands, seeming unable to look Willow in the eye. She was also still talking. “That’s too bad. Your father really liked him. And I thought he was very self-actualized for a musician -”

“Mom!” Willow’s sharp tone finally managed to command her mother’s attention. “You and Dad have been away for months. You missed my graduation from high school, for Pete’s sake!” *Which was actually a good thing...but that doesn‘t make it okay* “You haven’t exactly been keeping close tabs on my life, so I have to ask - why are you here? I know you didn’t come her just to clean my room!”

“No, that’s not why I’m here at all. I’m here because I know. About Bunny- I mean Buffy’s mother, Joyce.” She held up a scrap of paper with a name and telephone number on it. “One of your high school friends called looking for you to ask about the arrangements, he didn’t know your number at school.” Willow absently took the paper and glanced at it. *Jonathan...how did he find out? The announcement won’t be in the paper till tomorrow. I guess it’s true about bad news traveling so fast.* She realized her mother had stopped talking and was looking at her in anticipation. Willow tried to figure out what her mother expected now.

“Umm. Okay, Mom. Thanks for bringing this. And for cleaning my room. You could have called, but...but it’s really good that you came by and all, so thanks.” Sheila’s face showed great distress, and Willow stopped, knowing she had guessed wrong, but uncertain what she should do. “What is it, Mom? Did I do something wrong?” Willow was shocked when her mother reached out and grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it hard. Sheila Rosenberg had never been big for physical contact of any kind.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, pumpkin. I did.” Willow was stunned. Her mother hadn’t used that nickname since she was seven.

“I don’t understand, Mom.”

“You’re going through something so huge right now, and you‘re trying to do it alone. You didn‘t tell me, didn‘t come to me. And I know it’s because I haven’t been there for you, not in the way that I should have been.” The words were true, but it shocked Willow that they were coming from her mother. She shook her head slowly, looking down at her hand still in her mother’s grasp.

“You’ve missed a lot. And I’m not alone, I have lots of people helping me through this, Xander and Tara, Giles, even Buffy...and I’m helping them. We help each other, because we love each other.” *Like family* she added with some bitterness in her head. Willow had thought that she was all cried out, but tears were once again gathering beneath her eyelids, threatening to fall. She looked at her mother’s face, and saw that tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“Oh, Willow, I love you. You don’t know I love you? But that’s my fault, I never told you enough, and I never showed you enough. I was never there for you emotionally. And now you don’t believe me, and how can I blame you? You made another family for yourself, and I’m so glad they love you. But I want to have a chance to make it up to you, to show you how proud I am and how much I love you, your father does, too, we both love you so much.”

Willow could see sincerity and love in her mother’s eyes, and that was enough to cause her to break down into sobs. She felt her mother’s arms around her pulling her close, and after a moment of tension relaxed into them. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed there, her mother rocking her back and forth, murmuring to her in a comforting voice, kissing her hair. She only knew that she hadn’t felt this close to her mother since...since...

Since the ribbon.

Seven-year-old Willow had won a spelling contest at school and was presented with a red prize ribbon. She was so excited to run home to show it to her mother, she and Xander had taken off directly from school to the Rosenberg house. A few blocks from the school, three fourth grade bullies had stopped them. The leader of this pint-sized gang was the unfortunately named Otto Tripp, a dim-witted future felon who had in the end been offed by vampires before his sophomore year of high school (although at the time the cause of death was said to be falling on a chain link fence). Otto had snatched her ribbon while his two buddies held Xander back, and he had proceeded to drop into a muddy patch of road and stomp on it with gusto. Willow was heartbroken and had started to cry, and Xander had yelled and struggled to no avail. Once the older boys were done with their gleeful torment, they had let Xander go, and run away. Xander had carefully picked up the muddy ribbon in one hand and taken a sobbing Willow by the hand with the other. Willow didn’t remember the rest of the walk to her house, she just remembered her surprise at finding her mother home when she got there.

Willow tried to explain what had happened, but was sobbing so violently that she was unintelligible. Instead Xander had explained, hanging his head in shame that he had not been able to protect his Willow better. Mrs. Rosenberg had hugged them both repeatedly, taken the ribbon from Xander, rinsed it out carefully and placed it to dry with several of her heaviest textbooks laying it flat. She had given them cookies and hot cocoa, even though the day had been warm, and had called Xander’s mother to ask if it was all right for him to spend the night, which always made Xander happy. When the ribbon had dried the next day, she placed it on the refrigerator proudly, and Willow had never loved her mother more than she had at that moment. Neither of her parents had recognized another achievement of hers in her recollection. And her mother had not hugged her again until this moment.

Willow eventually pulled back away from her mother, praying that this moment would not be another aberrant moment in the relationship or lack of same that she and Sheila had. She could feel how reluctant her mother was to let her out of her arms, and that gave her hope. And courage. She lifted her head and stared her mother in her eyes, basking in the love that was there, hoping that she wasn’t about to throw it all away, but willing to lose it for Tara’s sake. It was wrong not to share the happiness she’d found; if her mother truly wanted to reconnect, she would have to accept her girlfriend, as well. She cleared her throat.

“Mom, there’s something, someone new in my life, and she makes me very happy. She’s so wonderful...” Her mother listened without comment as she told her all about Tara, how they met and how their relationship grew and most of all about how their love was the most important and tremendous thing that Willow had ever experienced. She managed to avoid any mention of Wicca or spells, however. Her mother combined with witchcraft meant way too many nightmares that Willow didn‘t need to revisit right now. She watched her mother’s expression carefully as she spoke, and though she saw flickerings of surprise, the love she had newly discovered remained firmly in place. Willow grew silent, waiting for her mother to respond. After a long moment, her mother grinned at her.

“Well, I always wanted another daughter...”