Title: Stand Up Guy

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Spoilers: Season 3 Through The Zeppo.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: Buffy's thoughts after seeing Xander in The Zeppo. (The fourth fic in the Zeppositions series)

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Okay, that was an awkward moment. Xander looked way embarrassed. More than embarrassed. He looked scared. God, Angel looks terrified.

I wonder what I look like.

But Xander, I mean, Xander doesn't even know what's going on. I had to keep him out of it. I wish I could keep them all out of it. Willow, Giles, even Faith.

And Angel.

But I need their help. Without it there’s no chance at all. Even with their help it might not be enough. And they all have some kind of superpowers to protect themselves. Xander only has courage...amazing courage. Cause he's just a regular guy, fighting things that...wanna eat regular guys.

I know he'd come to help if I asked. I know he'd stand up and die for me...for all of us...but that's the last thing I want. I've got to keep one of my friends safe, if only so I know I did. So that even if we all die, if somehow he goes on and has some kind of life, it'll have been so worth it.

I'm doing the right thing here, I know it. For Xander.

For me.

I wish there was time to say goodbye.

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