Title: When Trolls Go Good

Author: Jeanny

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Season 5 Through Triangle

Feedback: Yes, please! jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and tell me where it's going.

Summary: Another encounter with someone Anya turned into a troll...only this one goes very differently than the one in Triangle.

Disclaimer: I only wish they were mine. They’re not.

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“Anyanka? Is that you?” Xander, Anya and Spike whirled around at the unfamiliar voice, then collectively groaned.

“I can’t believe it. My insurance isn’t going to cover another troll,” Xander moaned. He looked at Anya, who was looking a bit guilty. “Don’t tell me you dated this one too.” Anya looked startled.

“Absolutely not. That’s Maeva. She was the girl Olaf was cheating on me with, so I turned her into a troll, too. I thought they deserved each other.” Xander and Spike both squinted at the troll, who was just standing there patiently, neither rampaging nor hollering.

“Yeah, she’s a girl all right. Yup, I can definitely see it,” Xander said, then hastened to add as the troll stepped closer, “and a very attractive girl, actually. Stunning, in fact. Maeva, was it? Please don‘t hit me.”

“If you’re wanting to kill or maim, why don’t you start with these two,” Spike offered. “I’ve got to get to the Slayer’s house. Helping Dawn with her algebra homework tonight.”

“Willow’s helping Dawn with her algebra homework,” Xander retorted. Spike shrugged.

“I just thought I’d give an excuse for the running out on, rather than just the standard ‘I hate you.’ Makes the nibblet happy to think I’m all reformed.”

“Ummm, hello,” the troll said tentatively. “It seems like you all have personal issues to work through. And I’m sensing a lot of stress. I don’t want to insert myself into your space without permission, but I might be able to help.” The three stared, open-mouthed as the troll produced a business card and handed it to Spike. Smirking, he handed it to Anya. Xander read over her shoulder.

“Aromatherapy,” Anya said wonderingly.

“Massages?” Xander read weakly. The troll smiled and fluffed her hair.

“It’s been over a thousand years, Anyanka. I’ll admit, I had to work through some anger and loss issues, but I’ve totally adjusted to being a troll now. And it’s not like you can go around pillaging and eating babies anymore,” she said, just a tad wistfully, “but it‘s really okay. I’m a vegetarian now. And I’ve got my own business, as you can see. Mostly demon clients, but I’m happy to take on human customers. Or vampires, as long as they observe my strict no-smoking or biting on the premises policy.”

At this moment Buffy came running up and got between Maeva and the others.

“Why didn’t you call me?” she hissed at Xander. “This one doesn’t even have a hammer; it’ll be a piece of cake.” Maeva shook her head wonderingly.

“Geez, you people are so intense!” she exclaimed. Buffy looked at Xander questioningly.

“Buffy, she’s nice,” Xander said.

“And she wants to give us massages,” Anya said. She walked over to the troll and gave her an awkward hug. “And Spike was going to run out on us and leave us to die!” she added, earning Spike’s glare for ratting him out.

“Really?” Buffy said, steel in her voice. Spike felt a possible staking coming on.

“Oh, yeah, well, did you know that Anyanka here once helped Darla take out some pretty nasty vengeance on your boy Angel?” Anya paled. She had forgotten all about that little bit of business; it had been nearly a hundred years, after all, and she didn’t know any of these people then. Buffy and Xander were both staring at her in shock.

“You knew Darla? What did you do to Angel?” Buffy asked in a strangled voice.

“Oh, yeah? Well, did you know that when William the Bloody here was five he was a bed-wetter? And his household nickname was Sir Wee-Wee?”

Spike lunged for Anya and immediately fell to his knees, clutching his head. Maeva took this as her cue to begin an impromptu vampire massage. Buffy and Xander collapsed in laughter, the mention of Angel and Darla at least temporarily forgotten. And Anya just smiled to herself.

“Oh yeah. I still got it,” the former vengeance demon said smugly.

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Yes, it’s strange, but it makes me laugh. Incidentally, the troll in this story was originally named Jeanny - I was challenged to use my own name in a fic. Any resemblance between this troll and myself is purely cosmetic, I assure you. I give crummy massages, although with Spike I might rally to the occasion.